You know this is just an episode of Criminal Minds BEFORE the guy starts committing murders leading up to his target which is his mother. That is basically what these movies are.
K. J. VernFeathers 50 Shades is only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If this was set in a trailer park, it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
I think if Sigmund Freud, Alfred Kinsey, and Wilt Chamberlain attended a screening of any of the Fifty Shades movies it would only take 10 minutes before they ran out of the theater screaming and trying to tear their own eyes out.
If I want a good story involving BDSM, I'd play Dragon Age Inquisition and try to romance Iron Bull.FYI he gets BDSM right or some type of rough sex. If there's a no , he obeys it and sets limits better than Christian Grey.
Well actually because sadly, like the real world, massive amounts of cash can pretty much get you out of anything. Case in point, the recent flood of scandals in Hollywood that are now surfacing after decades of these sleezeball men being able to use money and influence to silence, discredit, and malign their accusers for LITERAL decades and paying their way out of it when it finally catches up to them, making the women victims all over again. That or its just terrible writing. Or both.
It's funny that Fifty Shades franchise started out as Twilight fan fiction. This franchise makes Twilight look like Shakespeare by comparison. I didn't even think that was possible!
There's actually a theory that Christian messed up Leila so bad that he essentially broke her psyche. After she left him, Leila was engaged to another man but immediately after that, she gets into an accident and her fiance/husband dies, and it's CHRISTIAN who puts her in a mental asylum, as opposed to her actual family. And after she breaks into Ana's apartment and Christian calms her down, he gives her a "bath" (this happens offscreen in the book, so make of that what you will) and then shoos her back to the mental asylum. So... there's that to chew on.
I totally forgot how freaking _dumb_ that helicopter crash subplot was. It's really pointless and it feels like they have to shoehorn this to drag the story forward and give it a "climax" (yes, this was in the book also. It was stupid)
Seriously, that shit was on the level of a High School play. "Christian Grey is dead!" (Grey comes through the door. "Hey' everyone, I'm ok, false alarm." It really pisses me off that some people actually like an defend this film.
When I took my mom to see Murder on the Orient Express (which is rated PG-13), they played that preview in front of it and all I could do was slump down in my chair and try to hide from embarrassment. Plus, why put a clearly rated R movie preview in front of a PG-13 movie????
If I had to choose to be in Romantic Relationship with either Christian Grey or Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, I’d pick Patrick. At least he likes Huey Lewis and the News.
I just watched American Psycho and I totally concur! Going after guys with money is one thing but Patrick has actual charisma despite sometimes letting his real personality slipping through. Christian Gray displays so many red flags that I would never approach the guy!
Man there were so many times during this review where I almost threw up in my mouth only for Smeghead to say "it gets worse" And I agree this year's Razzie nominations legitimately pissed me off and not even for the reasons you said.
Alex Rus Several things, especially in the acting categories. Why were Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem nominated when their performances in Mother! were good? Why did Tom Cruise win over Jamie Dornan? And why did The Emoji Movie beat Fifty Shades Darker and Transformers 5 for Worst Picture? You get the idea.
From what I’ve heard Sam-Taylor Johnson was a good director before Fifty Shades. My uncle saw her movie Nowhere Boy about the teenage years of John Lennon and he said it was pretty good. I blamed the quality of Shades on her. I had no idea how much control over the movie they give to E.L. James. I’m so sorry.
She directed the first 50 shades and the movie looks really good! Well, as good as she could given the crap material she had to work with! Some scenes are gorgeous...
I feel like what we are seeing in EL James through her books is insecurity, manifesting in mary sue tendencies with an unhealthy version of "ravishment" fantasy - all these men just find her *so damn desirable* that they can't even respect her space and boundaries because they are so taken with her. I think this is also why a lot of women find the books fun or sexy... she is just a normal-ish girl but is found to be irresistible, which can be an intoxicating fantasy to jump on because it's accessible.
Misuse of the word “literally” is one of my biggest pet peeves, so I usually cringe when somebody says it without thinking and it’s incorrectly used. But I have to agree with this, which is very rare. Literally nobody says “laters baby”.
7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1
ikr? Everyone is abusing the word literally like Lori freaking Loud. Along with other words like cinema. Thesaurus exist, use them.
"What are butt plugs?" Anna... what do you think they are? Hilarious. "The two lead characters have the chemistry of ammonia and beach." Words fail, but... great episode.
Tom Hanks, Patrick Stewart, and Weird Al. Yeah as far as I know those three and Denzel Washington seem to be the only celebrities without skeletons in their closet and are just decent people in real life.
If you want to know how fucked up Fifty Shades of Grey is watch the 3 videos by the TH-camr "The Dom", and no it isn't short for dominant lol, did on the subject of the first book and movie. He goes into some detail why EL James should seek professional help.
I feel bad for him, he's started doing the reading to do a review of the this film/book adaptation and it's slo- Quickly sucking the life force from him. Great videos though.
Mike Balla Jr I definitely feel bad for Dom, but I'm excited to watch him rip this movie and the book a new one. His review on the first book/movie were really good and thorough, not to mention he genuinely really cares about the harmful messages in them. Now that I think about it, a collab between him and the Smeghead for the third in the series would be interesting. 🤔
You described this movie quite well. The review was fantastic, unlike the movie. The only thing I could add is this, Twilight was terrible, but it was better than the 50 Shades franchise.
Robert Treacy Well, it makes sense in some way, because Basinger played in "9 1/2 weeks" ( which describes also a becoming toxic sex relationship and at least one odd interpretation of SM sex) . I would see it as an meta insider joke, but that would mean at least one in the production team would be intelligent enough...
50 Shades Dorkier! Not just the "knee in the junk" cliche, but the "character thought to be dead turns up in person without calling ahead" cliche (also seen in PEARL HARBOR).
I feel so guilty right now. It took me several weeks to actually finish watching this review. I watched Episode 100 before finishing this one; that's how long it took. Normally, when I see one of these reviews in my subscription feed, I click on it, I watch it, I enjoy it, boom, done. _This_ one, though...I got about 10-and-a-half minutes in before the subject matter pissed me off so much that I had to just ragequit the review. The review itself didn't piss me off. It was the material being reviewed that pushed me to the breaking point, and I basically said "fuck it, _I'm done."_ "For example, the man keeps a dossier on all his potential submissives. He hires private investigators to get photos and do full background checks _on all of his future victims."_ I'm amazed you didn't flip your shit at this, Smeghead. When I was first watching this and heard that last sentence, I got so fucking pissed off. Grey was basically hiring the types of people to assist in his stalking that would normally be hired to bring these types of people to justice. I know there are different types of private investigators, but you would _think_ that someone would've gone "you know what, this shit's just wrong" and at the very least have refused to work for him anymore. Apparently he found just the right types of investigators and/or was paying good enough money that they were willing to figuratively sell their souls to the devil. The further characterizations of Oedipus Grey and Jocasta Steele only serve to make things worse from there. I'd keep calling the characters by these swapped names if it wasn't such an insult to _Oedipus Rex._ Regarding the helicopter crash, I have but one sentence for that, taken from the Double Toasted review that I feel sums it up perfectly: "They didn't even _show_ the crash!" All in all, I feel so bad for waiting so long to finish this review, because you managed to make an awesome review out of material that I would call a steaming pile of horseshit if I felt horses wouldn't neigh at me in disgust for comparing their shit to this awful film. I still have no idea how you managed to pull this off.
Yeah, same here. These two absolutely horrible characters and their non-story made me feel so nauseous that the review just stopped being enjoyable, as much as I like Smeg's reviews. So I finished it only now.
So, I take it that the “Tampon Scene” is to literature what “Puzzle Room” is to Siivagunner. Something so regretful, that those who have witnessed it have tried to prevent others from ever viewing it. Or in Fifty Shades case, reading it.
8:20 I have my own three. Just let me have Chris Pratt, Mel Brooks, and voice actor John DiMaggio and I’ll be good. And if he’s not to busy maybe god can throw in Tom Hanks too.
My God...I knew this "franchise" (using the term in the loosest possible sense here) was terrible but I never expected them to be this disturbing. Many people have some sort of fetish, that's fine but being submissive slave and a living sex doll? Jesus Tap-dancing Christ, I think I need several gallons of bleach after watching this. Still, good episode Sean.
Rixius I mean, there are hardcore submissives that are into being dominated and controlled 24/7, but those subs are very experienced in bdsm, as are their doms, and everything is very much discussed at length on what is and isn't okay, and the doms aren't horrible, abusive , manipulative assholes like Christian. I also wager that those doms aren't punishing women because of deep-seeded mommy issues. Christian is more like a serial killer in training than a dominant, though.
Ok. Only halfway through the review, but I have to adress this. I was curious about this movie since Rob Walker described it, but he's right. Unlike the first movie (which at least at that), the directing is utterly incompetent.
You're right, as for what a butt plug could be, VERY short list. Unless changing to what could be used instead if you don't have an actual butt plug. I am a Mistress after all. Also, with that said, think I know why they have that line about him being a sadist instead of a Dom. Needless to say, these stories are HEAVILY despised in the BDSM Community. I watched a bit of the first one, out of curiosity, turned it off in disguise, didn't bother with the second, and only hoping after the 3rd, it does like a certain song goes, fade away and classify itself as obsolete, OBSOLETE!
Actors are often asked to wear make up like that: I didn't noticed Jamie Dornan lips in this but you would be surprised how often male actors are asked to wear eye liner... 😋
I don't think it was a matter of Universal trying to make Mitchel happy as it was them trying to get her to shut up. And next episode's Citizen Kane isn't it?
TOO ACCURATE. Seriously I read some damn good fan fictions of a lot of things such as Zootopia, Legend of Spyro, A Godzilla and MLP crossover (I’m not a fan of MLP at all but I found it really enjoyable), A few of Wings of Fire, one Dinosaur King fanfic, and Pokémon (mystery dungeon and main series games). Also the impossible happened, there is a good Sonic fan fiction, I repeat a GOOD Sonic fan fiction called “Sonic X: The Delta Arc” which is essentially a Sonic X season 4 based off of Sonic Rush and 06. Honestly I have a much more easier time with reading fan fiction than regular fiction.
Yep. I remember reading a really good one that was the story of WALL-E rewritten with an entirely human cast, and it was an even more emotional story than the original. There's plenty of good fan stories out there, but, sadly, most people only see the worst of it. Though in all fairness, I will admit that some of the garbage is at least entertainingly bad.
13:39-15:05 - Call it a hunch, but I think there's a very high chance that E.L. James has got mommy issues of her own, and if that's true, then this means that these books and movies are her only means of getting revenge without doing something that would have her thrown in jail or an insane asylum. Mrs. James... if you really did go through something traumatic in your childhood and youth, I sympathize, I really do. But that does not give you carte blanche to release something this messed up and downright wrong to the mass public and insult good literature in the process. And just to reiterate, this is purely speculation on my part, but given this revelation about Christian - her own creation, mind you - what other assumption is anyone supposed to make?
@@lauranorwood1389 Yeah, but then again I'm pretty sure, even if I'm a little unfamiliar with the HP franchise, than Voldemort's never had the goal to fuck Harry in the ass and make him his little sex slave... Now I have the bad feeling that some bad fanfictions about HarryXVoldemort had been written somewhere...😝
I have been watching ur thing scince the 37 episode and I have watched every single one of ur excrement since so well done for being entertaining ( I think it’s the 37, tbh I have no idea but yea it was about that far away)
It is rather fitting that Kim Basinger would be in at least one of these; she starred in "9 1/2 Weeks", a classic 80's movie which was also about a young woman who was both enchanted and horrified at the same time by a rich guy with all sorts of kinky fetishes. Big difference being that when she finally left at the end because she'd had enough, she left for good and that was that. Kind of like Molly Ringwald's cameo in "Not Another Teen Movie". By the way, it was said that the last FSoG movie took approximately 9 1/2 weeks to shoot.
Apparently, helicopters are rather sensitive aircraft, or at least that was the case with copters from about a decade ago. With that in mind, sabotaging the copter might not have been too hard.
Why do women find this guy and series sexy? And for the record I'm a woman and I find it disturbing that women love this series and say it is romantic and sexy and it's far from from that.
RJ so if there’s women who hate the 50 Shades trilogy then it’ll be reassuring that there’s women who are smart then I’ll be glad that I don’t have to meet people who praise the series
I'll just like to point out that the sex scene between Charlize Theron and Sofia Boutella in Atomic Blonde is a million times more erotic and hardcore than ANYTHING that the Fifty Shades movies can throw at us (Hell, there's plenty of other movies from various genres out there that contain scenes that are more erotic and hardcore than this damn series) and, even more importantly, unlike Christian and Ana, Lorraine and Delphine's relationship was actually romantic!
D Vass that was a good scene to the movie was good with the action just wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be the graphic novel it's based on is tho
With the release of the first film, I wrote somewhere, if you want to see what this movie THINKS it is, watch Secretary (2002) instead. Disturbing, but weirdly interesting, and Maggie Gyllenhaal can act.
Regarding your rant at the end: You're absolutely right. The entire Golden Raspberry Foundation is a joke. They go after low-hanging fruit for cheap jokes, and some of the time it's through sheer coincidence that their choices for "worst" match critical consensus.
Wow! a trilogy of crapy books has now become a movie series? What world do we live in? :( Great video Cinematic Excrement! Makes me laugh out loud :D Hope 2018 is an Awesome year too.
cat foy because The Emoji Movie was ver forgettable i barely remember anything that happened 50 Shades Darker in the other hand was very memorable for the wrong reasons
To be honest, they're both pretty terrible. I mean, I enjoyed movies such as The Hitman's Bodyguard, XxX: Return of Xander Cage, and Transformers: The Last Knight, but I wouldn't dare to touch those movies ever again.
I weep for all you sad souls who watched this movie... I have not, and WILL not ever see any of them. Nor will I Google the "Tampon scene" because I trust The Smeghead!!! Lookin forward to 100!!!
Wait, I just thought of something: So, the book & movie is "Fifty Shades Darker" - Kim Basinger's character is called "Elena", this is from the Greek meaning "Light": is this some warped attempt to do contrasting by EL James?
Did you not do 50 Shades Freed? I looked over the vids on your YT channel but didn't see it. I really like your reviews of 50 Shades & 50 Shades Darker! You pointed out many of the criticisms I've had or have heard or read from others in a more concise way than some of the other vids I've seen. I'll be adding these vids to my 50 Shades playlist & sharing them w/ others. I hate that EL James made a fortune off this garbage. The books are even worse! They are bad for women, bad for men, poorly written, & plagiarized, & almost every character is a bad person, or at least unlikeable.
Good sir! I approve of your list of weird Al, Tom hanks. And Patrick Stewart!! Also Quinoa salads are amazing, anyone who wouldn't get the Quinoa salad has not had one!
I was wondering if you would like to cover a Film called Dark Dungeons. It's on TH-cam and not hard to find and I think it would by an unintentional joy for you to review.
19:35 And if he really couldn’t get another phone for whatever reason why didn’t he just borrow literally any phone between that helicopter crash and his apartment?! THERE'S A CITY IN THE WAY!!
Christian Gray makes Glenn Quagmire look classy and dignified!
JediMcFly717 Hell, he makes MEL GIBSON look like a friggin gentleman.
And less creepy! Seriously, some close up of Jamie Dorman's face reminded me of some old pictures of Ted Bundy.
AMEN
GIGGITY
Quagmire's infatuation with Lois is tamed compared to Christian, Jose & Rapey McGee's (Anna's boss) obessession with Anna.
"Paging Dr. Freud"
Freud: Hell, no. I'm not going anywhere near that psycho.
Freud would gouge out his eyes and fall deeper into the pits of Hell before touching that creep.
"They had the chemistry of ammonia and bleach" 😂🤣😂🤣 best quote ever!!!!
You know this is just an episode of Criminal Minds BEFORE the guy starts committing murders leading up to his target which is his mother. That is basically what these movies are.
Yeah but Criminal Minds has WAY more nuance then this.
But Criminal Minds is entertaining and doesn't make me want to drink Bleach.
Super Cosmic Mutant Honey Candle Squid I'd have to bludgeon Jennifer Love Hewitt to death first.
What kind of self-esteem must a woman have to want a guy like that?
Oh, she tells me herself. _"I'm nothing."_
K. J. VernFeathers 50 Shades is only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If this was set in a trailer park, it would be a Criminal Minds episode.
I think if Sigmund Freud, Alfred Kinsey, and Wilt Chamberlain attended a screening of any of the Fifty Shades movies it would only take 10 minutes before they ran out of the theater screaming and trying to tear their own eyes out.
Tyler Hill you forgot quagmire from family guy
If I want a good story involving BDSM, I'd play Dragon Age Inquisition and try to romance Iron Bull.FYI he gets BDSM right or some type of rough sex. If there's a no , he obeys it and sets limits better than Christian Grey.
JediMcFly717 and Cleveland
How had Christian not received multiple restraining orders from several different woman over the years?
"Because shut up" as this show's host likes to say. Absolutely unbelievable how stupid these movies are.
Because the author is a Twilight fan.
Cuz plot
Because they clearly all enjoyed Kinky fuckery (basically yes:because shut up)
Well actually because sadly, like the real world, massive amounts of cash can pretty much get you out of anything. Case in point, the recent flood of scandals in Hollywood that are now surfacing after decades of these sleezeball men being able to use money and influence to silence, discredit, and malign their accusers for LITERAL decades and paying their way out of it when it finally catches up to them, making the women victims all over again. That or its just terrible writing. Or both.
I am a simple man. I see a cinematic excrement video. I click.
Well, it is only logical.
This is one of the most seriously underrated channels on youtube, in my opinion.
I agree I recommend it to anyone whenever I can
It's funny that Fifty Shades franchise started out as Twilight fan fiction. This franchise makes Twilight look like Shakespeare by comparison. I didn't even think that was possible!
There's actually a theory that Christian messed up Leila so bad that he essentially broke her psyche. After she left him, Leila was engaged to another man but immediately after that, she gets into an accident and her fiance/husband dies, and it's CHRISTIAN who puts her in a mental asylum, as opposed to her actual family. And after she breaks into Ana's apartment and Christian calms her down, he gives her a "bath" (this happens offscreen in the book, so make of that what you will) and then shoos her back to the mental asylum. So... there's that to chew on.
Nishat Jamil that’s awful. What a Douchebag.
Oh my fucking Stars and Garters!
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
To quote that magnificent man THE DOM own review of the frist movie in this series "All these people are scum"
Can’t wait to see his review of this one
Now I'm even more pumped up for his Review of the Third One.
I totally forgot how freaking _dumb_ that helicopter crash subplot was. It's really pointless and it feels like they have to shoehorn this to drag the story forward and give it a "climax" (yes, this was in the book also. It was stupid)
Nanna Leifa
Vegeta (in his Funimation VA voice): Too bad it's Sunday, Christian Grey would have died by tomorrow...
Seriously, that shit was on the level of a High School play. "Christian Grey is dead!" (Grey comes through the door. "Hey' everyone, I'm ok, false alarm." It really pisses me off that some people actually like an defend this film.
I saw a trailer for "Fifty Shades Freed" and my immediate reaction was to close my eyes and give it the bird.
Eva AGREED
Correct reaction.
When I took my mom to see Murder on the Orient Express (which is rated PG-13), they played that preview in front of it and all I could do was slump down in my chair and try to hide from embarrassment. Plus, why put a clearly rated R movie preview in front of a PG-13 movie????
My reaction was Oh God Why
cat foy that was my reaction to mamma mia 2
Hyde has had 3 assistants quit on him within 1½ years. That is what is called a red flag.
If I had to choose to be in Romantic Relationship with either Christian Grey or Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, I’d pick Patrick.
At least he likes Huey Lewis and the News.
At least, Bateman was actually likeable despite what he did, Christian, on the other hand, I'd like to see him take an axe to the face.
Tyler Hill Shall we have Bateman kill Grey?
I'll make the popcorn!!
I just watched American Psycho and I totally concur!
Going after guys with money is one thing but Patrick has actual charisma despite sometimes letting his real personality slipping through. Christian Gray displays so many red flags that I would never approach the guy!
If I had that choice, I'd choose celibacy.
*I FREAKING KNEW IT*
I’m surprised though you didn’t save this for episode 100.
💙🖋
Monsieur Bleu Pen Right??
What I'm worried about the 100th episode is going to be
My guess is the last knight.
Man there were so many times during this review where I almost threw up in my mouth only for Smeghead to say "it gets worse"
And I agree this year's Razzie nominations legitimately pissed me off and not even for the reasons you said.
This! I was also like: "Now it can't possibly get any worse" only to hear, "Oh it get's worse"
What's Wrong with the Razzie nominations?
Alex Rus Several things, especially in the acting categories. Why were Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem nominated when their performances in Mother! were good? Why did Tom Cruise win over Jamie Dornan? And why did The Emoji Movie beat Fifty Shades Darker and Transformers 5 for Worst Picture? You get the idea.
I managed to think up that Barneys quote in a Jamaican accent.
I maneged to read it in Morgan Freeman's voice.
Well done
My body is ready.
... Wait.
Hahaha. Okay, as someone who usually doesn't like that line, that was pretty funny. You got me.
XD
From what I’ve heard Sam-Taylor Johnson was a good director before Fifty Shades. My uncle saw her movie Nowhere Boy about the teenage years of John Lennon and he said it was pretty good. I blamed the quality of Shades on her. I had no idea how much control over the movie they give to E.L. James. I’m so sorry.
Tyler Hill This is why you don't violently attack the directors or producers behind movies for no reason...
@@TommyDeonauthsArchives Star Wars Fanboys, take notes.
Sam-Taylor Johnson was replaced. She didn't give EL James more control of the movies
She directed the first 50 shades and the movie looks really good!
Well, as good as she could given the crap material she had to work with! Some scenes are gorgeous...
I feel like what we are seeing in EL James through her books is insecurity, manifesting in mary sue tendencies with an unhealthy version of "ravishment" fantasy - all these men just find her *so damn desirable* that they can't even respect her space and boundaries because they are so taken with her.
I think this is also why a lot of women find the books fun or sexy... she is just a normal-ish girl but is found to be irresistible, which can be an intoxicating fantasy to jump on because it's accessible.
Good timing. I was looking for something good to watch.
Misuse of the word “literally” is one of my biggest pet peeves, so I usually cringe when somebody says it without thinking and it’s incorrectly used. But I have to agree with this, which is very rare. Literally nobody says “laters baby”.
ikr? Everyone is abusing the word literally like Lori freaking Loud. Along with other words like cinema. Thesaurus exist, use them.
"What are butt plugs?"
Anna... what do you think they are?
Hilarious.
"The two lead characters have the chemistry of ammonia and beach."
Words fail, but... great episode.
To quote the Honest Trailer for the first film: "It's a plug...for your butt."
I love everything about this video 😄
Tom Hanks, Patrick Stewart, and Weird Al. Yeah as far as I know those three and Denzel Washington seem to be the only celebrities without skeletons in their closet and are just decent people in real life.
I think Billy West and Daniel Radcliffe are good, too.
That Tom Hanks ref aged like milk.
If you want to know how fucked up Fifty Shades of Grey is watch the 3 videos by the TH-camr "The Dom", and no it isn't short for dominant lol, did on the subject of the first book and movie. He goes into some detail why EL James should seek professional help.
I feel bad for him, he's started doing the reading to do a review of the this film/book adaptation and it's slo- Quickly sucking the life force from him. Great videos though.
Mike Balla Jr I definitely feel bad for Dom, but I'm excited to watch him rip this movie and the book a new one. His review on the first book/movie were really good and thorough, not to mention he genuinely really cares about the harmful messages in them.
Now that I think about it, a collab between him and the Smeghead for the third in the series would be interesting. 🤔
You described this movie quite well. The review was fantastic, unlike the movie.
The only thing I could add is this, Twilight was terrible, but it was better than the 50 Shades franchise.
bradwolf07 and what a sad, sad sad statement that is. And what's even sadder is..it's true
bradwolf07 That's Jim81Jim's old profile pic, you jackhole
By logical progression, within 10 years: "Oh, it gets worse..."
Fifty Shades of Grey would make a great horror movie if it changed a few details and gained some sense of self awareness.
That would be a lot better.
Agreed. If it was a satire of bad BDSM relationships it would be sooo good!
EPISODE 100 YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
Here's to fifty shades freed being the worst movie of 2018.😁👌
Samson, The Hurricane Heist, The Trump Prophecy, Death of a Nation, & Twelve Pole: Hold our beers.
@@TheHannahcast Holmes & Watson beats all of them.
Why would they do this?!
So they could torture Sean The Dom and Krimson Rogue
Profit the same shit happened with twilight
$$
Keegan Stormblade money
It's all about the money. It's all about the dum dum diddy dum dum. It's all about the $$$.
The two main characters remind me of Ron Swanson and Tammy Two from Parks and Recs. Except that latters are meant to be funny.
11:06 Dear God. They dragged poor Kim Basinger into this, didn’t they?
*ding*
Robert Treacy Someone ring up Jack Nicholson's Joker.
aldo curiel To be fair... you're complete and utter garbage.
Robert Treacy Well, it makes sense in some way, because Basinger played in "9 1/2 weeks" ( which describes also a becoming toxic sex relationship and at least one odd interpretation of SM sex) . I would see it as an meta insider joke, but that would mean at least one in the production team would be intelligent enough...
*sees the hint for episode 100... or lack thereof*
Milking it are we? I can respect that.
Shit like this is why aliens won't talk to us.
I said the same prayer for Tom Hanks :)
Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan have less sexual chemistry than some relatives lol
Great as always, Sean. Keep it up.
Nice review as always, Sean. :)
And I am very excited for your 100th episode next month!
50 Shades Dorkier! Not just the "knee in the junk" cliche, but the "character thought to be dead turns up in person without calling ahead" cliche (also seen in PEARL HARBOR).
I feel so guilty right now.
It took me several weeks to actually finish watching this review. I watched Episode 100 before finishing this one; that's how long it took. Normally, when I see one of these reviews in my subscription feed, I click on it, I watch it, I enjoy it, boom, done.
_This_ one, though...I got about 10-and-a-half minutes in before the subject matter pissed me off so much that I had to just ragequit the review. The review itself didn't piss me off. It was the material being reviewed that pushed me to the breaking point, and I basically said "fuck it, _I'm done."_
"For example, the man keeps a dossier on all his potential submissives. He hires private investigators to get photos and do full background checks _on all of his future victims."_
I'm amazed you didn't flip your shit at this, Smeghead. When I was first watching this and heard that last sentence, I got so fucking pissed off. Grey was basically hiring the types of people to assist in his stalking that would normally be hired to bring these types of people to justice. I know there are different types of private investigators, but you would _think_ that someone would've gone "you know what, this shit's just wrong" and at the very least have refused to work for him anymore. Apparently he found just the right types of investigators and/or was paying good enough money that they were willing to figuratively sell their souls to the devil.
The further characterizations of Oedipus Grey and Jocasta Steele only serve to make things worse from there. I'd keep calling the characters by these swapped names if it wasn't such an insult to _Oedipus Rex._
Regarding the helicopter crash, I have but one sentence for that, taken from the Double Toasted review that I feel sums it up perfectly: "They didn't even _show_ the crash!"
All in all, I feel so bad for waiting so long to finish this review, because you managed to make an awesome review out of material that I would call a steaming pile of horseshit if I felt horses wouldn't neigh at me in disgust for comparing their shit to this awful film. I still have no idea how you managed to pull this off.
Yeah, same here. These two absolutely horrible characters and their non-story made me feel so nauseous that the review just stopped being enjoyable, as much as I like Smeg's reviews. So I finished it only now.
It's funny how they take a criminal minds episode, make the crazy monster rich and it spawns a franchise.
This movie shows how important therapy is
4:08-4:12 In case anyone's wondering, "barney" is Cockney rhyming slang for "trouble." Barney Rubble = trouble.
Anyone who has Ocean's 11 would know
My guess for the 100th episode is: The Room. I would be sorely disappointed if Sean didn’t review The Room at some point.
Could we just have a movie about Leila? That would be way more interesting.
It's always a good day when Sean uploads a new video. 😀
You'll be doing Gigli, right? Because I recall you saying in an earlier video that you'll be dreading the day you'll be doing that movie.
So, I take it that the “Tampon Scene” is to literature what “Puzzle Room” is to Siivagunner. Something so regretful, that those who have witnessed it have tried to prevent others from ever viewing it. Or in Fifty Shades case, reading it.
What's Silvagunner?
8:20 I have my own three. Just let me have Chris Pratt, Mel Brooks, and voice actor John DiMaggio and I’ll be good. And if he’s not to busy maybe god can throw in Tom Hanks too.
Can I just have FIVE? It's a hand and far more perfect than three. :(
Tyler Hill Daniel Radclifffe, Carrie Elwes, and Gary Oldman are my three
Tyler Hill Euh?
metademetra Juan Ortiz, Phelous and Bobsheaux are my three.
aldo curiel what are you.
12:03 "sub-plots"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You doing the final film in the series?
I really think that when Fifty Shades Freed gets released, it will become the worst movie ever made.
No surprise at all
My God...I knew this "franchise" (using the term in the loosest possible sense here) was terrible but I never expected them to be this disturbing. Many people have some sort of fetish, that's fine but being submissive slave and a living sex doll? Jesus Tap-dancing Christ, I think I need several gallons of bleach after watching this.
Still, good episode Sean.
Rixius I mean, there are hardcore submissives that are into being dominated and controlled 24/7, but those subs are very experienced in bdsm, as are their doms, and everything is very much discussed at length on what is and isn't okay, and the doms aren't horrible, abusive , manipulative assholes like Christian. I also wager that those doms aren't punishing women because of deep-seeded mommy issues. Christian is more like a serial killer in training than a dominant, though.
Trust me, living sex doll is far more common then you'd think
Ok. Only halfway through the review, but I have to adress this.
I was curious about this movie since Rob Walker described it, but he's right. Unlike the first movie (which at least at that), the directing is utterly incompetent.
About to start back to back 12 hour shifts for the weekend, I needed this!
You're right, as for what a butt plug could be, VERY short list. Unless changing to what could be used instead if you don't have an actual butt plug. I am a Mistress after all. Also, with that said, think I know why they have that line about him being a sadist instead of a Dom. Needless to say, these stories are HEAVILY despised in the BDSM Community. I watched a bit of the first one, out of curiosity, turned it off in disguise, didn't bother with the second, and only hoping after the 3rd, it does like a certain song goes, fade away and classify itself as obsolete, OBSOLETE!
Great Review - like in the good old days.
Thank you !
BTW: Great Shirt!!!
Did James demand that Christian wear lipstick throughout this entire movie?
Probably
Actors are often asked to wear make up like that: I didn't noticed Jamie Dornan lips in this but you would be surprised how often male actors are asked to wear eye liner... 😋
This is why I love you CE.
4:22 I just said that quote out loud and had no trouble not doing a British accent. But, I see your point.
I don't think it was a matter of Universal trying to make Mitchel happy as it was them trying to get her to shut up.
And next episode's Citizen Kane isn't it?
hemmingwayfan and I thought Paramount was bad in 2017... and they still are.
WHAT ON EARTH IS THE APPEAL OF THIS GOD-FORSAKEN SERIES?!
Ugh, this movie series gives good fan fiction writers and stories bad reps >.>
TOO ACCURATE. Seriously I read some damn good fan fictions of a lot of things such as Zootopia, Legend of Spyro, A Godzilla and MLP crossover (I’m not a fan of MLP at all but I found it really enjoyable), A few of Wings of Fire, one Dinosaur King fanfic, and Pokémon (mystery dungeon and main series games). Also the impossible happened, there is a good Sonic fan fiction, I repeat a GOOD Sonic fan fiction called “Sonic X: The Delta Arc” which is essentially a Sonic X season 4 based off of Sonic Rush and 06. Honestly I have a much more easier time with reading fan fiction than regular fiction.
Yep. I remember reading a really good one that was the story of WALL-E rewritten with an entirely human cast, and it was an even more emotional story than the original. There's plenty of good fan stories out there, but, sadly, most people only see the worst of it. Though in all fairness, I will admit that some of the garbage is at least entertainingly bad.
Magnat Cleo very true, also can I have a link of that fanfic please? Sounds like a really good read!
Sadly, I've forgotten what it was called, although I'm pretty sure I found it through TV Tropes.
@@magnatcleo2043 I think I know the fic that you are referring to and it is 1000 times better then 50 Shades of Crap.
13:39-15:05 - Call it a hunch, but I think there's a very high chance that E.L. James has got mommy issues of her own, and if that's true, then this means that these books and movies are her only means of getting revenge without doing something that would have her thrown in jail or an insane asylum. Mrs. James... if you really did go through something traumatic in your childhood and youth, I sympathize, I really do. But that does not give you carte blanche to release something this messed up and downright wrong to the mass public and insult good literature in the process. And just to reiterate, this is purely speculation on my part, but given this revelation about Christian - her own creation, mind you - what other assumption is anyone supposed to make?
D Vass that's a bit like saying J. K. Rowling is a power-hungry, racist monster because she created Voldemort
@@lauranorwood1389 Yeah, but then again I'm pretty sure, even if I'm a little unfamiliar with the HP franchise, than Voldemort's never had the goal to fuck Harry in the ass and make him his little sex slave...
Now I have the bad feeling that some bad fanfictions about HarryXVoldemort had been written somewhere...😝
@@lauranorwood1389 At least Rowling remembered to designate Voldemort the villain.
I have been watching ur thing scince the 37 episode and I have watched every single one of ur excrement since so well done for being entertaining ( I think it’s the 37, tbh I have no idea but yea it was about that far away)
It is rather fitting that Kim Basinger would be in at least one of these; she starred in "9 1/2 Weeks", a classic 80's movie which was also about a young woman who was both enchanted and horrified at the same time by a rich guy with all sorts of kinky fetishes. Big difference being that when she finally left at the end because she'd had enough, she left for good and that was that. Kind of like Molly Ringwald's cameo in "Not Another Teen Movie". By the way, it was said that the last FSoG movie took approximately 9 1/2 weeks to shoot.
God bless you for putting yourself through this movie again for entertain us
You are the best
My surprise was remembering that the movie came out in 2017, I could swear it was much older, considering I barely seen anyone talking about it.
Apparently, helicopters are rather sensitive aircraft, or at least that was the case with copters from about a decade ago. With that in mind, sabotaging the copter might not have been too hard.
Can you do fifty shades freed.
Why do women find this guy and series sexy? And for the record I'm a woman and I find it disturbing that women love this series and say it is romantic and sexy and it's far from from that.
RJ so if there’s women who hate the 50 Shades trilogy then it’ll be reassuring that there’s women who are smart then I’ll be glad that I don’t have to meet people who praise the series
Beats me. I'm also a woman who read many cringy fanfictions and boy does it show that this thing is just a glorified BDSM fanfic! 😝
Let's just say 'Belfast' was a step up for Jamie Dornan.
Can't wait for 100 been here since 30
Didn't need to Google that. MY MOM told me about it. (Before you ask- she's not a fan, of this or Twilight. She's way too cool.)
I'll just like to point out that the sex scene between Charlize Theron and Sofia Boutella in Atomic Blonde is a million times more erotic and hardcore than ANYTHING that the Fifty Shades movies can throw at us (Hell, there's plenty of other movies from various genres out there that contain scenes that are more erotic and hardcore than this damn series) and, even more importantly, unlike Christian and Ana, Lorraine and Delphine's relationship was actually romantic!
D Vass that was a good scene to the movie was good with the action just wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be the graphic novel it's based on is tho
With the release of the first film, I wrote somewhere, if you want to see what this movie THINKS it is, watch Secretary (2002) instead. Disturbing, but weirdly interesting, and Maggie Gyllenhaal can act.
Regarding your rant at the end: You're absolutely right. The entire Golden Raspberry Foundation is a joke. They go after low-hanging fruit for cheap jokes, and some of the time it's through sheer coincidence that their choices for "worst" match critical consensus.
Wow! a trilogy of crapy books has now become a movie series? What world do we live in? :( Great video Cinematic Excrement! Makes me laugh out loud :D Hope 2018 is an Awesome year too.
At least the tampon scene would have had some balls lol.
I love you. I have been waiting for this review for a long time 😘😀
"learn from their mistakes" [already googling the tampon scene] can't wait for episode 100!
Unless I hear 'before Zod' when someone tells me to knell, it's not happening.
0:24 - _To Be Continued._ Mmmmmmnope...don't remember _that_ bein' released to theaters in 2017... 🤔
Same 50 Shades Darker was my worst movie of 2017 and yes its worse than the Emoji Movie
I heavily disagree.
Travis De La Fuente just my opinion man
Why?
cat foy because The Emoji Movie was ver forgettable i barely remember anything that happened 50 Shades Darker in the other hand was very memorable for the wrong reasons
To be honest, they're both pretty terrible.
I mean, I enjoyed movies such as The Hitman's Bodyguard, XxX: Return of Xander Cage, and Transformers: The Last Knight, but I wouldn't dare to touch those movies ever again.
I weep for all you sad souls who watched this movie... I have not, and WILL not ever see any of them. Nor will I Google the "Tampon scene" because I trust The Smeghead!!! Lookin forward to 100!!!
Wait, I just thought of something: So, the book & movie is "Fifty Shades Darker" - Kim Basinger's character is called "Elena", this is from the Greek meaning "Light": is this some warped attempt to do contrasting by EL James?
There was a climax in this movie???
Did you not do 50 Shades Freed? I looked over the vids on your YT channel but didn't see it. I really like your reviews of 50 Shades & 50 Shades Darker! You pointed out many of the criticisms I've had or have heard or read from others in a more concise way than some of the other vids I've seen. I'll be adding these vids to my 50 Shades playlist & sharing them w/ others. I hate that EL James made a fortune off this garbage. The books are even worse! They are bad for women, bad for men, poorly written, & plagiarized, & almost every character is a bad person, or at least unlikeable.
9:56-10:05: The Fifty Shades Franchise in a nutshell.
Good sir! I approve of your list of weird Al, Tom hanks. And Patrick Stewart!!
Also Quinoa salads are amazing, anyone who wouldn't get the Quinoa salad has not had one!
I was wondering if you would like to cover a Film called Dark Dungeons. It's on TH-cam and not hard to find and I think it would by an unintentional joy for you to review.
I can actually say "we would have proper on-set barneys" in my head in an Australian accent
Universal bought the film rights to EL James' book The Mister. There is going to be a 'The Mister' movie.
I am both worried and excited for what the 100th episode will be.
As a Portland, Oregon native, the fact that this franchise is partially associated with us is shameful.
**waves** Hi Sean :)
P.S. I dig the shirt ;) 👉
19:35 And if he really couldn’t get another phone for whatever reason why didn’t he just borrow literally any phone between that helicopter crash and his apartment?! THERE'S A CITY IN THE WAY!!
Good job finally making a title that doesn't give the movie away.
I already know about the tampon scene thanks to Lost in Adaptation. So I didn't Google it and yet I still know it! WTF!