I understand something you’re coming from you look like you could use a hug or you got me giving you a virtual hug. I am there for you. I am understand exactly what you’re going through because I’m going through the exact same damn thing.
I’m not completely out but I’m a Non-Binary Pansexual. I need people to actually understand who I am. I want everyone to call me JoJo not John. I want the right pronouns from people in my personal life.
My object identity has always been clear. I am definitely a firetruck. I don’t really know how to identify as anything else ... it wasn’t a choice; it was more of a fact of life for me. I'm a firetruck.
Your soul is beautiful and handsome. I have no idea what it feels like to be going through something so hard. I have never watched someone describe the struggle you are going through. But let me just say wow I am proud of you and you deserve to be made to feel comfortable and accepted in this world. Your so cool and your friends are lucky to have you.
This is something I have known from your social media posts, but listening to you describe how much of a toll this has taken on you is heartbreaking. You're courageous for making this video, and I'll try my damnedest to get your pronouns right when I think or talk about you or with you. Lots of love
Thank you Corey! You're right, I've talked about it on instagram a lot, but it's get to be a real and official statement. It's tricky because I have a huge fanbase on Twitch that just see me as a woman and don't get the real insight into this side of me. I still have a lot of work to do but it's a big start and I wanted to share the full depth of why.
I know this video is 4 years old but hearing this has just been eye opening on my own journey. I cant tell you the similarities between our stories, and I even stopped in my tracks when you talk about looking up pricing for surgery and the process because I've had nights where that's literally me. Thank you for sharing your story and as someone from 2024 I hope you've had a great 4 years since making this
Gender is so silly, but it's something so many people take to heart. I'm proud that you came out, even though I don't know you and was just looking up nonbinary vids to make myself feel better. I feel so different from other nonbinary people myself, and maybe all nonbinary people are different in their perception of gender as well. I'm glad you have friends that accept you for who you are. I just stay alone and deal with my family calling me she for the most part. It sucks, but at the least I can be myself when I'm alone.
The flip-flopping gender identity we experience as non-binary or gender fluid individuals is remarkably similar to the anime Ranma 1/2, where his sex can be changed by submerging him into either hot or cold water. We all wish it was possible to go back and forth between a man and woman's bodies to 'feel right'. But humans are currently incapable of such a change.
Accepting and learning to live with your "demons" (I call them like that, but it's up to you) instead of fighting them is often a HUGE step forward and a relief. I'm proud of you to make this coming out, it takes a LOT of courage ! People that doesn't accept it just don't deserve to watch you grow more and more. I personnally fell in love with your music and your voice, and it doesn't change a thing on the love I have for your art. I hope I'll have the chance to continue listening to you day after day, and even maybe one day see you live on a stage ! Big love Merm, keep it up ! :)
Hey Merms, Thanks for doing this. As a cisgendered white heterosexual male, I'm never going to fully understand those who are unlike me. I wish I could shoulder some of your pain. I know I've personally fucked up the pronoun thing. I try to use Alanna and Merms because the he/she thing is sooooo deeply reflexively entrenched. It's hard to learn a brand new language in your 30s. Please realize that sometimes when a person botches the pronoun, it's because they speak the "gender-fluidity" language at the level of a small child. When we know better, we do better. I hope this video helps some know better so that they can do better. Most importantly, know that from myself you are loved, you are heard, you are accepted and I will try to do better tomorrow than I did today.
Thank you for sharing your voice on this. I know it's difficult to change vocabulary when you've used it all along, but I appreciate and love you so much for trying and learning and working on it. I will never be offended if someone calls me a "she", and I know there is this fear in others that I'm going to get upset or lash out if people get my pronouns wrong - so I just want to reassure that it's totally okay! If you mistakenly use she, just take a second, correct it to they, and move on. No big deal :) Thanks for accepting me for who I am!
Merms, you rock... so hard. Thank you for posting this video. The timing of me finding this video, while discussing NB/GF with my wife, was absolutely perfect. I have a male body, but your words were my words and I shed a more than few tears while watching with my wife. I feel less alone... and inspired to reach out to more people like me/accepting of me, in my area. Thanks!! *HUGS*
I relate to your video so much, I have been questioning my gender identity for 4 years. I was slowly realising that there were times I felt more feminine, sometimes more masculine, sometimes none of that, or both. I was and still am so scared of coming out. I did come out to some my friends yesterday. It felt like a relief but I also feel scared of judgement, and misunderstanding. I'm scared to tell my family, they're transphobic. I also live in a pretty much transphobic country.
Hi Merm i just meet you the other day on twich and i felt in love with your music , you are amazing . Its cool you can open your to us about your feelings . Dude keep going and i hope one day you reach mental peace about how you feel and to be comfortable . Sorry for my english, it is out of practice ,Hugs
So much of what you say here resonates with me -- but I started from the opposite place side of the spectrum. It took mt 62,years to face this truth. All I know i internally bristle when someone calls me Mr or sir. Enbys are a great community/family
Merms, you are freaking awesome, thank you so much for making this beautiful and heartfelt coming out video. Congrats, dude, onward and upward! And thank you for saying T this part out loud, it's so important and true I'm gonna say it with you... YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 💪
Interesting, never really thought about this or heard somebody talk about this before. thanks for sharing, feel like I learned something. just randomly clicked on your stream, you are pretty cool.
I feel that too. Like I‘m a double person. A mix. A chameleon. In my freetime I‘m walking around as a man in video games. Chat with other people in the digital body of a man and everything feels easy and fine when others see me as a man, but in the real world it‘s so much more complicated and its as good as impossible for me to appear as a man. I‘m in the process of finding my way. I like my body and there are a lot of ways to express who I am. 🌸
You are beautiful and brave. We are here for you! A beautiful human being who deserves all the happiness and all the support we can give YOU ❤️ I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT DAY. Be safe and estable. We love you!
I‘m so proud of you, Merms. You’re such a wonderful person and I really admire you. You‘ve always been a huge inspiration and now even more. Thank you for sharing. ❤️ Much love, Torsten
We're all proud of you of having the courage to come out. It feels terrible to hear how much this affected your mental health, but we are happy you can be who you are.
Thank you for the trust you're showing us by telling us all of this. I know it must be terrifying, even as I can't begin to comprehend how you must feel. You're awesome, dude, and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. And if the person telling you otherwise ever happens to be you, don't listen then, either.
That took a lot of courage ! Whatever your identity, you are a beautiful human who makes amazing music and I love you for who you are ! Stay strong and much love
I think I misgendered you in the past, I want to apologise since I didn't watch this video I didn't know. Hope you'll get as much joy as you bring to people, you're a wonderful human being
This is an incredible feeling to find words to describe your thoughts and your feelings, I'm happy for you merms :) , Je t'aime, bravo, ça peut être dur d'avouer ça (même à soi même), prend soin de toi 💛 Tu es une superbe personne 😘 et tu es fort.e
Don't care about people think like that, i promess ! You're not alone, a lot of your community will accept your non binary. Please don't fcking care about people don't have openness. love You Mermaid, just do what you like, music and other stuff like that. Love you so so muchh
This is the only thing I've seen of yours. Thank you so much for making it! Solidarity dude. I came out as genderfluid today. Thanks so much for being you and helping other people be themselves 🌈❤️
l just want to say thanks for being you...l love your music and the truth you put out. "To thine own self be true." Be happy and accept the way God made you perfect and whole just the way you are. When you feel male you are, when your happy as a female you are, you have more choices than most. l accept you for you and l am happy for meeting you through your music and know that my life is enriched just by knowing you through your music, keep up the good work.
Proud of you !! 😄😄 it's always a relief when you can find out what makes you well YOU. I felt the same way when I discovered my sexuality. Apologies if I ever called you the wrong pronouns. Love you ♡♡♡
No, you are not alone ♥ ps: It's difficult for german gender fluid people to be called "they", because the german word for "they" is "sie" and that is the same like the german word for "she". I wish we have more words... =/
Thank you for this video. I'm at this point myself and I was looking for inspiration for my own video letter to my family and friends. I'm 43 amab, I've raised 3 kids and have grandchildren now. I've reached the point where I can no longer take the pain of having to squeeze myself into the 'straight white Male' label. So it's an inspiration and gives me strength to hear other who have experienced this pain, I'm not a freak I'm not alone! Thank you so much, I needed your beautiful words!🤗💕 much love and many blessings and good luck!💜🦋😁
Bravo for having the courage to tell us about your Journey of self discovery. It took me far too many years and far too close to a dangerous precipice to accept the path that I knew I needed to follow. 25 years later, I have never regretted taking the steps needed for the world to see the real me. I wish you health and happiness always.
I don't know you and I'm new to this channel, but I'm sending you so much love and support. As a cis woman I can never truly understand what it is like to be trans or non-binary, but I think the least we can do is have compassion and listen to what marginalized people are saying. As you said, a little understanding goes a long way. Happy pride!
Hey there. I have no idea if you're ever going to see this comment, but I thought I would leave it anyways. My prefered name is Len and I go by they/them pronouns. I'm still quite young, 15 to be exact. But I've been experiencing dysphoria practically my entire life. But it was on and off. I was quite confused for a long time but eventually I met someone who explained the term "genderfluid" to me, and that was sort of when it struck me. Like you said, my gender expression (similarly to yours) would have both masculine and feminine traits, so my parents always wrote me off as a tomboy. Throughout middle school, I found myself constantly competing with guys on my track team just because I wanted to feel like I belonged. I would get this rush of euphoria when I was able to keep up at anything. And dysphoria when I lost at something. And when puberty struck, I began to notice girls were insecure. They'd look at each other and wish they had each other's hair, or eyes, or breasts. While I'd stare at guys and wish I had their muscles. Their hair. And even their clothes that they got from the men's section. I kept quiet about this for a long time, and only recently came out. On December 6, 2020. I relate to what you said about wishing you had balls lmao. As weird as that sounds. I also understood what you said about feeling like you were doing drag. I'm really happy you shared your story. It's helped me understand myself just a little more. It's helped me realize that this isn't a mental illness. Other people experience gender this way, and I'm not alone. I've actually once been referred to as "ma'am" in public but I didn't even notice they were talking to me, haha. Of course, there was a bunch of dysphoria after that but we're not gonna talk about that- I'm happy you felt welcome and loved enough to come out. As your fellow genderfluid brethren, I'm happy to say that I belong to a community of incredible people like you. Don't let the hate get you, and I hope you have an amazing life.
Eres un ser maravilloso. Fin. No hay más. No ha penes, vaginas, ni nada fisiológico que sirva para dejar de ser un SER MARAVILLOSO. Tu moral y tu talento entre otras cosas te definen, tengas lo que tengas, seas como seas. Tenemos 1 vida, y es única y de cada individuo. Vívela como mejor consideres y siéntete bien por ti mismo. Repito: ERES UN SER MARAVILLOSO!😍😘
Congrats for the courage, to talk about this openly! Unfortunately english is like that, people taught to decide he or she by the looks, while it really doesn't matter. I bet most of the time it's not meant to be offensive , people just don't know, so try not to take this too hard on yourself. I didn't know, but know I know, so I would of course pay attention to it. BTW In hungarian my native language we only have gender neutral pronouns, I never understood why it's needed in english and german.
I send a lot of power and energy to you and wish you to find and accept your place in this world. I wish you to feel right, comfortable, loved and accepted for who you are. Social pressure is one of the hardest things in life, but if you are strong enough, you can grow under this pressure. This can take a lot of time, years, maybe a life time and longer, but then you become much stronger. After seeing this video, I think you are on the right way and hope that you can reach the end of this way soon. You are such a great person, so inspiring with your art, music and your appearance. This life is as colourful as your wonderful rainbow hair colour. Unfortunately the human brain works with categories and dualities all the time to get this ocean of information under control. And so the most people are caught up in this mental structure. There are only black and white (male and female) for them. They are colourblind. But as I said, this Life is much more colourful than that. And you are one of the reason for that. You are an colourful, greatful individual with a beautiful soul. I hope I found the right words to make you realize that, at least a little bit.
I identify as non-binary and I have similar thoughts and feelings as you. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open and honest. You're awesome! 💜
It’s hard to explain.Before referring to the way society tends to define objects, and gender - on a spectrum. At one end is being male and the other female, and you kind of move between the two, but you forget about object identity inbetween. I usually remain in the middle, since I'm a firetruck. But people don't always understand this object identity and it offends me.
It doesn't matter how you look what you feel is what you are. And if you want to crossdress or have a beard. HAVE A BEARD❤️. BE YOU. WE ARE PROUD OF YOU.
Thank you for sharing your story and feelings. I'm sorry, that I misgendered you (even if just in my mind). I heard about your channel and your awesome music about your feature in the Halocene video. I just didn't stumble about the fact that you are non-binary and would like to be referred to as they. Until now. I think that's a symptom and a sign that there should be a change in language and in whats the default pronoun for somebody we don't know. It's much worse in my native language, we don't have a 'they', that would be acceptable to be used for people and doesn't literally translate to something, that also means 'she'. This stuff is hard to navigate and much harder for the ones affected, like you. I wish you all the best, much health and that you can come to terms with the body that you've been given. Although I'm a woman, I relate really hard with you, your apperance, your art and what vibes you give off. I'm also tomboy-ish, purple/blue haired and into mermaids. Very relatable what you said with wanting to have a different set of genitalia, being perceived as a man and just wanting to hang out with the boys as a child. You are not alone with these kind of thoughts. When I see you, I see a strong person. Lots of love and more power to you!
There's so much more to you than meets the eye! Thank you for sharing your truth. Always I find that the more you share, the brighter the world; everything you are, is something to be proud of.
You know, no pun intended but i think we need more words in the dictionary regarding referring to someone. He and her are great (forgive my spelling and grammar) but the other options are words like that and it, which sounds insulting when you talk about a human being. They and them, though not insulting, makes me think of someone or something that's plural (more than one). That's why i think we need more words in the dictionary. To expand our vocabulary with the changing of times. Expand isn't the right word but it's the first word that comes to mind
also kudos to you coming out. It must've of been one of the toughest things you had to do. kudos to you....what i'm trying to say is i accept you for who you are
I agree that it would be neat to have more words to describe this. At the same time, we've already used "they" to describe someone when we don't know the gender, and have done so for many years. For example, if you found a lost phone, you would be like "I wonder who this belongs to, I should return it to them".
In German it's even worse than that, because the non-binary use of "they" doesn't exist there. You really only can refer to someone as "Er" (he), "Sie" (she) or "Es" (it), but "it" doesn't mean unknown or non-binary, it means the complete absense of of gender so that won't cut it. This makes it nigh impossible to *not* misgender non-binary people and it annoys me greatly every time I find myself in that situation.
@@IschmarVI wow. I'm sorry. That is definitely bad. . Languages and meanings are weird.... forgive me. I'm not good with putting thoughts to words. cerebral palsy and everything. i'll come back later when i figure it out in my head...... well there aught to be a word like they and them in your language. The government should invent something
I've been so proud of you for so long for all you do. You have been a light of honesty in many moments of darkness of those in the community. This step in your journey is no different in that way, I'm so so proud of you. You are an amazing human bean and I thank you again for your openness and honesty. So much love for you Merms.
Congrats Alanna for your gender coming out, it's brave of you ! However, I have just a few simple questions : First, as a french, my language doesn't have a neutral gender so, when I speak of you to other people, what am I supposed to say to refer to you? Saying "ça" (it) is very disturbing in french and quite disrespectful... So may I use "elle" (she) by refering to the gender of the french word "personne" (person) while noticing to the other that I'm refering to that word and not your gender ? My second and last question is concerning your choice of pronoun: as I said, I'm french and I'm curious about why using in english the neutral plural "them/they", instead of "it/this" which are the neutral singular form ? Anyway, as a viewer from the shadows of twitch, I watched your work for around a year now and I have to say that you're a talented artist and a great person, and your gender identity has no infuence on that. You were, you are and you will be a great person. Be proud of you. Take care 💜
As a French person I can try and help you. If others want to complete what I'm saying, feel free to comment. There are a few "new" French words that aim at being neutral, the "iel" pronoun is mostly used (contraction of il + elle). You can use the inclusive forms for nouns (for example "chanteu.r.se") (inclusive form is constructed with : common part - first option - second option, sorted by alphabetical order) In a twitch chat you might say "iel est trop fort.e, j'aime beaucoup sa musique" for example. The English use of "they/them" isn't really a new thing, and, as in French, using "it" can be unwelcoming. Using the singular they is more common than you think, Google it you may find other infos :) We love you merms, thanks for sharing your story. Every time someone comes out, the world becomes a better, more welcoming place ❤️💚
French is another language entirely, I don't even know how to begin describing my gender identity in French even though I speak it. There really isn't a word in place in French, especially as a language that literally genderizes every single item and object, so I totally am okay if you just use "elle". Language barriers can be confusing but they don't need to be. As long as you understand the message here, which I feel like you do :)
Alright, thanks both of you for your answers, it helped me a lot to understand that kind of thing I'm totaly a stranger to ^^ I wish you a good day/ night :)
I can relate so much to what you're going through and I'm so proud of you for coming out! I'm agender and use they/them and goddamn it hurts to get called feminine pronouns and I spent years just accepting it because of a fear of confrontation and "not wanting to bother people" and thinking I could handle it until I couldn't anymore and came out. And it's still a struggle every damn day, but having ppl in my life who use the right pronouns and name for me has made a world of difference.
Also don't worry about saying the "wrong" things, everyone is constantly learning and if you misuse terms then you can learn and change your vocabulary after being corrected (for example "transgenderism" generally isn't used these days and a lot of people are uncomfortable with it, preferring language like "transgender issues", "transgender identity", "transgender people/community", etc. And the word "crazy" can be ableist but idk if you are someone who can reclaim the word so I won't speak on that one)
You were very eloquent and I'm very proud of you. If you use Facebook I can direct you to a few FB groups for trans and nonbinary people if you'd like, I know they've helped me a lot with having a sense of community, support, and not feeling alone and "wrong" or "unnatural".
@@Alex-fc8xn thank you so much for commenting. Yeah, I stumbled over a few words, I didn't mean to say transgenderisms, but I just had to kind of roll with it because if I tried to do outtakes then I would never make this video. There are so many spots where I wish I could go back in and change what I said, but the thing is, I'm just trying to speak from the heart and that includes all the mistakes and the slips that I made.
@@AlannaSterling yeah I noticed you kinda paused after the word like you realized it was the wrong one, but just in case you didn't know I wanted to explain anyway (plus if ppl watching don't know then they can learn from my comment.) People tend to act as if mistakes online are a bigger deal because they're seen by more people and they assume you had time to edit and choose your words before uploading or posting something. But if someone is speaking from the heart and just trying to get out something that has been on their chest for a long time they're going to be more prone to slip ups because they aren't being slow and careful and calculating. Just like in face to face conversations sometimes we say the wrong thing or phrase something differently than we would prefer. Like in real life if someone uses the wrong pronouns accidentally for me when they normally use the right ones and see me as agender, it doesn't bother me if they apologize/correct themselves and move on because I mix up my words constantly as well, as long as you know their intentions are good and it isn't a thing they do often without working on it. I don't judge you for anything you said in this video and think it was so incredibly brave to show us something so raw and heartfelt.
Mermaid explique que Mermaid n'arrive pas à ce définir en t'en d'être humain, que Mermaid ne sait pas si Mermaid est un homme ou une femme. Mermaid explique que dans la société, ce serait plus simple pour Mermaid d'être une femme mais de t'en à autre Mermaid se sent comme un homme et pas une femme, et cette situation lui fait peur. Mermaid a des amis autour qui comprennent son état et qui l'accepte. (J'ai volontairement remplacé les qualificatifs du genre "elle" car dans sa situation et dans son état d'esprit ce serait offensant.) J'espère que tu comprend mieux son état actuel et que tu seras bien veillant envers elle.
@@furtiff123 merci pour le traduction, c'est bien dit. Je veux faire un video en francais pour mes fans franco, mais c'etait deja assez difficile a m'exprime en anglais, donc... peut-etre au futur mais pas maintenant. Merci pour comprendre.
I totally get you, i feel the same thing, I´ve allways felt, and some days ago I found out I am gender fluid, and it´s great! I don´t konow how people can be only one gender😜,jk 😋
Absolutely. I was so (physically) sick for so long. It's crazy how the mind affects the body. Coming out and living my truth, now my stomach isn't in knots all the time. So much more peaceful
Beautiful coming out, so touching ♥️ I understand you completely... It's so confusing, tough, scary, you're words are so strong and sincere, make le feel not alone again, retrust who I am. Thank you. You can be so proud of yourself
I think it is normal to question it's own identity, howeve it is wrong to say you are different from what you are genetically. I mean that you can have existential crisis by not knowing who you really are but deny what you geneticaly are is wrong. I don't mean to offense anyone, i just want to remind people that either you are genetically a boy or a girl ( apart from androgynous people).
They aren’t a woman. They feel and are both and neither. They’re sex at birth might be but gender Identity is completely different and so much more important. If someone referred to you as something other then your gender all of the time you would get upset, they is just as valid as cis people. Not all peoples gender match WHATS in their pants. Research the history and science of gender fluidity
while I understand what you want to say, there seems to be something that needs to be clarified. Biological sex and psychological gender are two completely separate things. You can be in the body of a woman but have the "brain of a male". This is possible because, again, sex and gender are two different things. Most of the time, the male sex goes along with the "he/him" gender, but that's the point: *most of the time* . I'd recommend you take some time doing research about transgender, gender-fluidity and other queer-related topics. I am sure you will learn a new thing or two :) What I am saying is ... yes, people are gentically either a boy or a girl (with the exceptions mentioned by you), that is true. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean, that someone who is genetically a girl is ALSO necessarily a "she/her", because - once again - those are two completely different things.
I understand something you’re coming from you look like you could use a hug or you got me giving you a virtual hug. I am there for you. I am understand exactly what you’re going through because I’m going through the exact same damn thing.
I’m not completely out but I’m a Non-Binary Pansexual. I need people to actually understand who I am. I want everyone to call me JoJo not John. I want the right pronouns from people in my personal life.
Hey JoJo, I’m in the same boat as you. You aren’t alone. I see you x
sending you love JoJo. Hope everything will go the way you want with your pronouns and the rest
U love pans
My object identity has always been clear. I am definitely a firetruck. I don’t really know how to identify as anything else ... it wasn’t a choice; it was more of a fact of life for me.
I'm a firetruck.
Your soul is beautiful and handsome. I have no idea what it feels like to be going through something so hard. I have never watched someone describe the struggle you are going through. But let me just say wow I am proud of you and you deserve to be made to feel comfortable and accepted in this world. Your so cool and your friends are lucky to have you.
This is something I have known from your social media posts, but listening to you describe how much of a toll this has taken on you is heartbreaking. You're courageous for making this video, and I'll try my damnedest to get your pronouns right when I think or talk about you or with you. Lots of love
Thank you Corey! You're right, I've talked about it on instagram a lot, but it's get to be a real and official statement. It's tricky because I have a huge fanbase on Twitch that just see me as a woman and don't get the real insight into this side of me. I still have a lot of work to do but it's a big start and I wanted to share the full depth of why.
I know this video is 4 years old but hearing this has just been eye opening on my own journey. I cant tell you the similarities between our stories, and I even stopped in my tracks when you talk about looking up pricing for surgery and the process because I've had nights where that's literally me. Thank you for sharing your story and as someone from 2024 I hope you've had a great 4 years since making this
Gender is so silly, but it's something so many people take to heart. I'm proud that you came out, even though I don't know you and was just looking up nonbinary vids to make myself feel better. I feel so different from other nonbinary people myself, and maybe all nonbinary people are different in their perception of gender as well. I'm glad you have friends that accept you for who you are. I just stay alone and deal with my family calling me she for the most part. It sucks, but at the least I can be myself when I'm alone.
The flip-flopping gender identity we experience as non-binary or gender fluid individuals is remarkably similar to the anime Ranma 1/2, where his sex can be changed by submerging him into either hot or cold water. We all wish it was possible to go back and forth between a man and woman's bodies to 'feel right'. But humans are currently incapable of such a change.
Accepting and learning to live with your "demons" (I call them like that, but it's up to you) instead of fighting them is often a HUGE step forward and a relief. I'm proud of you to make this coming out, it takes a LOT of courage !
People that doesn't accept it just don't deserve to watch you grow more and more. I personnally fell in love with your music and your voice, and it doesn't change a thing on the love I have for your art.
I hope I'll have the chance to continue listening to you day after day, and even maybe one day see you live on a stage !
Big love Merm, keep it up ! :)
Hey Merms, Thanks for doing this. As a cisgendered white heterosexual male, I'm never going to fully understand those who are unlike me. I wish I could shoulder some of your pain. I know I've personally fucked up the pronoun thing. I try to use Alanna and Merms because the he/she thing is sooooo deeply reflexively entrenched. It's hard to learn a brand new language in your 30s. Please realize that sometimes when a person botches the pronoun, it's because they speak the "gender-fluidity" language at the level of a small child. When we know better, we do better. I hope this video helps some know better so that they can do better. Most importantly, know that from myself you are loved, you are heard, you are accepted and I will try to do better tomorrow than I did today.
Thank you for sharing your voice on this. I know it's difficult to change vocabulary when you've used it all along, but I appreciate and love you so much for trying and learning and working on it. I will never be offended if someone calls me a "she", and I know there is this fear in others that I'm going to get upset or lash out if people get my pronouns wrong - so I just want to reassure that it's totally okay! If you mistakenly use she, just take a second, correct it to they, and move on. No big deal :) Thanks for accepting me for who I am!
Merms, you rock... so hard. Thank you for posting this video. The timing of me finding this video, while discussing NB/GF with my wife, was absolutely perfect. I have a male body, but your words were my words and I shed a more than few tears while watching with my wife. I feel less alone... and inspired to reach out to more people like me/accepting of me, in my area. Thanks!! *HUGS*
I relate to your video so much, I have been questioning my gender identity for 4 years. I was slowly realising that there were times I felt more feminine, sometimes more masculine, sometimes none of that, or both. I was and still am so scared of coming out. I did come out to some my friends yesterday. It felt like a relief but I also feel scared of judgement, and misunderstanding. I'm scared to tell my family, they're transphobic. I also live in a pretty much transphobic country.
Hi Merm i just meet you the other day on twich and i felt in love with your music , you are amazing . Its cool you can open your to us about your feelings . Dude keep going and i hope one day you reach mental peace about how you feel and
to be comfortable .
Sorry for my english, it is out of practice ,Hugs
Thx for this video. You gave me the strength to out myself officially as bisexual.
Be yourself *virtual hugs from Germany*
So much of what you say here resonates with me -- but I started from the opposite place side of the spectrum. It took mt 62,years to face this truth. All I know i internally bristle when someone calls me Mr or sir. Enbys are a great community/family
You're awesome.
I actually thought you were going to cover Diana Ross's I'm coming out.
Good on you for sharing your story❤️
Merms, you are freaking awesome, thank you so much for making this beautiful and heartfelt coming out video. Congrats, dude, onward and upward! And thank you for saying T
this part out loud, it's so important and true I'm gonna say it with you... YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 💪
Interesting, never really thought about this or heard somebody talk about this before. thanks for sharing, feel like I learned something. just randomly clicked on your stream, you are pretty cool.
I feel that too. Like I‘m a double person. A mix. A chameleon.
In my freetime I‘m walking around as a man in video games. Chat with other people in the digital body of a man and everything feels easy and fine when others see me as a man, but in the real world it‘s so much more complicated and its as good as impossible for me to appear as a man.
I‘m in the process of finding my way. I like my body and there are a lot of ways to express who I am. 🌸
You are beautiful and brave. We are here for you! A beautiful human being who deserves all the happiness and all the support we can give YOU ❤️
I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT DAY. Be safe and estable. We love you!
I‘m so proud of you, Merms. You’re such a wonderful person and I really admire you. You‘ve always been a huge inspiration and now even more. Thank you for sharing. ❤️ Much love, Torsten
We're all proud of you of having the courage to come out. It feels terrible to hear how much this affected your mental health, but we are happy you can be who you are.
Thank you for the trust you're showing us by telling us all of this. I know it must be terrifying, even as I can't begin to comprehend how you must feel. You're awesome, dude, and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. And if the person telling you otherwise ever happens to be you, don't listen then, either.
This must be indeed very tough on you. Good luck with all that and I hope you find peace around yourself and the people that like you! 🙂
Love you merms, you’re AWESOME ok?
Thank you, vocal senpai :,) you rock
Thank you for having the strength to share this with us :) can’t wait for your next twitch jam sesh 🤘👏
i’m really glad you have the courage to come out and i hope you know you deserve all the love 💕
That took a lot of courage ! Whatever your identity, you are a beautiful human who makes amazing music and I love you for who you are ! Stay strong and much love
I think I misgendered you in the past, I want to apologise since I didn't watch this video I didn't know. Hope you'll get as much joy as you bring to people, you're a wonderful human being
'When I wear makeup, I feel like I'm a man doing drag'
That is so impactful. I'm so proud of you, this video is wonderful
This is an incredible feeling to find words to describe your thoughts and your feelings, I'm happy for you merms :) , Je t'aime, bravo, ça peut être dur d'avouer ça (même à soi même), prend soin de toi 💛 Tu es une superbe personne 😘 et tu es fort.e
Don't care about people think like that, i promess ! You're not alone, a lot of your community will accept your non binary. Please don't fcking care about people don't have openness. love You Mermaid, just do what you like, music and other stuff like that. Love you so so muchh
Dude, your video has helped me more than you will ever know. Thank you.
This is the only thing I've seen of yours. Thank you so much for making it! Solidarity dude. I came out as genderfluid today. Thanks so much for being you and helping other people be themselves 🌈❤️
l just want to say thanks for being you...l love your music and the truth you put out. "To thine own self be true." Be happy and accept the way God made you perfect and whole just the way you are. When you feel male you are, when your happy as a female you are, you have more choices than most. l accept you for you and l am happy for meeting you through your music and know that my life is enriched just by knowing you through your music, keep up the good work.
Proud of you !! 😄😄 it's always a relief when you can find out what makes you well YOU. I felt the same way when I discovered my sexuality. Apologies if I ever called you the wrong pronouns. Love you ♡♡♡
No, you are not alone ♥
ps: It's difficult for german gender fluid people to be called "they", because the german word for "they" is "sie" and that is the same like the german word for "she". I wish we have more words... =/
I'm too bad in english to explain all i want to say so just : THANK YOU
Thank you for this video. I'm at this point myself and I was looking for inspiration for my own video letter to my family and friends. I'm 43 amab, I've raised 3 kids and have grandchildren now. I've reached the point where I can no longer take the pain of having to squeeze myself into the 'straight white Male' label. So it's an inspiration and gives me strength to hear other who have experienced this pain, I'm not a freak I'm not alone! Thank you so much, I needed your beautiful words!🤗💕 much love and many blessings and good luck!💜🦋😁
Bravo for having the courage to tell us about your Journey of self discovery. It took me far too many years and far too close to a dangerous precipice to accept the path that I knew I needed to follow. 25 years later, I have never regretted taking the steps needed for the world to see the real me. I wish you health and happiness always.
That's amazing. Thank you for sharing
I don't know you and I'm new to this channel, but I'm sending you so much love and support. As a cis woman I can never truly understand what it is like to be trans or non-binary, but I think the least we can do is have compassion and listen to what marginalized people are saying. As you said, a little understanding goes a long way. Happy pride!
Hey there. I have no idea if you're ever going to see this comment, but I thought I would leave it anyways.
My prefered name is Len and I go by they/them pronouns. I'm still quite young, 15 to be exact. But I've been experiencing dysphoria practically my entire life. But it was on and off. I was quite confused for a long time but eventually I met someone who explained the term "genderfluid" to me, and that was sort of when it struck me. Like you said, my gender expression (similarly to yours) would have both masculine and feminine traits, so my parents always wrote me off as a tomboy. Throughout middle school, I found myself constantly competing with guys on my track team just because I wanted to feel like I belonged. I would get this rush of euphoria when I was able to keep up at anything. And dysphoria when I lost at something. And when puberty struck, I began to notice girls were insecure. They'd look at each other and wish they had each other's hair, or eyes, or breasts. While I'd stare at guys and wish I had their muscles. Their hair. And even their clothes that they got from the men's section. I kept quiet about this for a long time, and only recently came out. On December 6, 2020. I relate to what you said about wishing you had balls lmao. As weird as that sounds. I also understood what you said about feeling like you were doing drag. I'm really happy you shared your story. It's helped me understand myself just a little more. It's helped me realize that this isn't a mental illness. Other people experience gender this way, and I'm not alone. I've actually once been referred to as "ma'am" in public but I didn't even notice they were talking to me, haha. Of course, there was a bunch of dysphoria after that but we're not gonna talk about that- I'm happy you felt welcome and loved enough to come out. As your fellow genderfluid brethren, I'm happy to say that I belong to a community of incredible people like you. Don't let the hate get you, and I hope you have an amazing life.
Eres un ser maravilloso. Fin. No hay más. No ha penes, vaginas, ni nada fisiológico que sirva para dejar de ser un SER MARAVILLOSO. Tu moral y tu talento entre otras cosas te definen, tengas lo que tengas, seas como seas. Tenemos 1 vida, y es única y de cada individuo. Vívela como mejor consideres y siéntete bien por ti mismo. Repito: ERES UN SER MARAVILLOSO!😍😘
Congrats for the courage, to talk about this openly! Unfortunately english is like that, people taught to decide he or she by the looks, while it really doesn't matter. I bet most of the time it's not meant to be offensive , people just don't know, so try not to take this too hard on yourself. I didn't know, but know I know, so I would of course pay attention to it. BTW In hungarian my native language we only have gender neutral pronouns, I never understood why it's needed in english and german.
Do you know Dorian Electra‘s song „Live by the Sword“? I think, it expresses this feeling so well.
It helps me. 🌌✨
Merms, social conventions are just conventions, not the truth. Embrace who you are and be proud of how glorious you are ! Love
Yes
Thank you for explaining how you feel so others can learn xxx
I send a lot of power and energy to you and wish you to find and accept your place in this world. I wish you to feel right, comfortable, loved and accepted for who you are.
Social pressure is one of the hardest things in life, but if you are strong enough, you can grow under this pressure. This can take a lot of time, years, maybe a life time and longer, but then you become much stronger. After seeing this video, I think you are on the right way and hope that you can reach the end of this way soon.
You are such a great person, so inspiring with your art, music and your appearance. This life is as colourful as your wonderful rainbow hair colour. Unfortunately the human brain works with categories and dualities all the time to get this ocean of information under control. And so the most people are caught up in this mental structure. There are only black and white (male and female) for them. They are colourblind. But as I said, this Life is much more colourful than that. And you are one of the reason for that. You are an colourful, greatful individual with a beautiful soul.
I hope I found the right words to make you realize that, at least a little bit.
You are very brave and love your courage for coming out
I identify as non-binary and I have similar thoughts and feelings as you. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open and honest. You're awesome! 💜
be the person you are, not the one society want you to be, stay strong and ignore ignorants ❤ (sry if my english is not perfect)
It’s hard to explain.Before referring to the way society tends to define objects, and gender - on a spectrum. At one end is being male and the other female, and you kind of move between the two, but you forget about object identity inbetween. I usually remain in the middle, since I'm a firetruck. But people don't always understand this object identity and it offends me.
(My pronouns are it/that)
It doesn't matter how you look what you feel is what you are. And if you want to crossdress or have a beard. HAVE A BEARD❤️. BE YOU. WE ARE PROUD OF YOU.
I see you, thank you human
Congratulations! Be proud of yourself!
Hey Merms, much you be you, and I'll be me. If you have love in your heart, you will be loved. Spread the love friends!
Nous sommes tous si fiers de toi Merms..
Merci, Daddy Queen
Daddy Queen, I like that :P
Truly inspiring! You rock bro!
Tu es une personne magnifique et tu peux être fier.e de toi d'avoir trouvé le courage de dire tout ça au monde entier. Coeur sur toi Merms.
Merci beaucoup
Thank you for sharing your story and feelings. I'm sorry, that I misgendered you (even if just in my mind). I heard about your channel and your awesome music about your feature in the Halocene video. I just didn't stumble about the fact that you are non-binary and would like to be referred to as they. Until now. I think that's a symptom and a sign that there should be a change in language and in whats the default pronoun for somebody we don't know. It's much worse in my native language, we don't have a 'they', that would be acceptable to be used for people and doesn't literally translate to something, that also means 'she'. This stuff is hard to navigate and much harder for the ones affected, like you.
I wish you all the best, much health and that you can come to terms with the body that you've been given. Although I'm a woman, I relate really hard with you, your apperance, your art and what vibes you give off. I'm also tomboy-ish, purple/blue haired and into mermaids. Very relatable what you said with wanting to have a different set of genitalia, being perceived as a man and just wanting to hang out with the boys as a child. You are not alone with these kind of thoughts. When I see you, I see a strong person. Lots of love and more power to you!
Wish you have all the supor you need!!!✊✊✊✊
Hi Merms, I wanted to let you know I support you 🩷🤍💜🖤💙
There's so much more to you than meets the eye! Thank you for sharing your truth. Always I find that the more you share, the brighter the world; everything you are, is something to be proud of.
..........👑..........
💖 ROYALTY💖
Hey 🥰🥰 we love ya, so so much. Hug from Argentina. U deserve happiness, exhale, we have your back ❤️
You know, no pun intended but i think we need more words in the dictionary regarding referring to someone. He and her are great (forgive my spelling and grammar) but the other options are words like that and it, which sounds insulting when you talk about a human being. They and them, though not insulting, makes me think of someone or something that's plural (more than one). That's why i think we need more words in the dictionary. To expand our vocabulary with the changing of times. Expand isn't the right word but it's the first word that comes to mind
also kudos to you coming out. It must've of been one of the toughest things you had to do. kudos to you....what i'm trying to say is i accept you for who you are
I agree that it would be neat to have more words to describe this. At the same time, we've already used "they" to describe someone when we don't know the gender, and have done so for many years. For example, if you found a lost phone, you would be like "I wonder who this belongs to, I should return it to them".
@@AlannaSterling You made a good point. I shall think about this
In German it's even worse than that, because the non-binary use of "they" doesn't exist there. You really only can refer to someone as "Er" (he), "Sie" (she) or "Es" (it), but "it" doesn't mean unknown or non-binary, it means the complete absense of of gender so that won't cut it. This makes it nigh impossible to *not* misgender non-binary people and it annoys me greatly every time I find myself in that situation.
@@IschmarVI wow. I'm sorry. That is definitely bad. . Languages and meanings are weird.... forgive me. I'm not good with putting thoughts to words. cerebral palsy and everything. i'll come back later when i figure it out in my head...... well there aught to be a word like they and them in your language. The government should invent something
I've been so proud of you for so long for all you do. You have been a light of honesty in many moments of darkness of those in the community. This step in your journey is no different in that way, I'm so so proud of you. You are an amazing human bean and I thank you again for your openness and honesty. So much love for you Merms.
Congrats Alanna for your gender coming out, it's brave of you !
However, I have just a few simple questions :
First, as a french, my language doesn't have a neutral gender so, when I speak of you to other people, what am I supposed to say to refer to you? Saying "ça" (it) is very disturbing in french and quite disrespectful... So may I use "elle" (she) by refering to the gender of the french word "personne" (person) while noticing to the other that I'm refering to that word and not your gender ?
My second and last question is concerning your choice of pronoun: as I said, I'm french and I'm curious about why using in english the neutral plural "them/they", instead of "it/this" which are the neutral singular form ?
Anyway, as a viewer from the shadows of twitch, I watched your work for around a year now and I have to say that you're a talented artist and a great person, and your gender identity has no infuence on that. You were, you are and you will be a great person. Be proud of you.
Take care 💜
As a French person I can try and help you. If others want to complete what I'm saying, feel free to comment.
There are a few "new" French words that aim at being neutral, the "iel" pronoun is mostly used (contraction of il + elle). You can use the inclusive forms for nouns (for example "chanteu.r.se") (inclusive form is constructed with : common part - first option - second option, sorted by alphabetical order)
In a twitch chat you might say "iel est trop fort.e, j'aime beaucoup sa musique" for example.
The English use of "they/them" isn't really a new thing, and, as in French, using "it" can be unwelcoming. Using the singular they is more common than you think, Google it you may find other infos :)
We love you merms, thanks for sharing your story. Every time someone comes out, the world becomes a better, more welcoming place ❤️💚
French is another language entirely, I don't even know how to begin describing my gender identity in French even though I speak it. There really isn't a word in place in French, especially as a language that literally genderizes every single item and object, so I totally am okay if you just use "elle". Language barriers can be confusing but they don't need to be. As long as you understand the message here, which I feel like you do :)
@@AlannaSterling "iel" is a French gender neutral pronoun, but I'm afraid nouns are still quite gendered, see my previous comment on this thread :)
Alright, thanks both of you for your answers, it helped me a lot to understand that kind of thing I'm totaly a stranger to ^^
I wish you a good day/ night :)
@@pikiteangel WOW that is amazing! I haven't heard of it yet but that sounds absolutely perfect. Thank you for giving me this knowledge!
I'm so proud of you 💜💚🖤
I can relate so much to what you're going through and I'm so proud of you for coming out! I'm agender and use they/them and goddamn it hurts to get called feminine pronouns and I spent years just accepting it because of a fear of confrontation and "not wanting to bother people" and thinking I could handle it until I couldn't anymore and came out. And it's still a struggle every damn day, but having ppl in my life who use the right pronouns and name for me has made a world of difference.
Also don't worry about saying the "wrong" things, everyone is constantly learning and if you misuse terms then you can learn and change your vocabulary after being corrected (for example "transgenderism" generally isn't used these days and a lot of people are uncomfortable with it, preferring language like "transgender issues", "transgender identity", "transgender people/community", etc. And the word "crazy" can be ableist but idk if you are someone who can reclaim the word so I won't speak on that one)
You were very eloquent and I'm very proud of you. If you use Facebook I can direct you to a few FB groups for trans and nonbinary people if you'd like, I know they've helped me a lot with having a sense of community, support, and not feeling alone and "wrong" or "unnatural".
@@Alex-fc8xn thank you so much for commenting. Yeah, I stumbled over a few words, I didn't mean to say transgenderisms, but I just had to kind of roll with it because if I tried to do outtakes then I would never make this video. There are so many spots where I wish I could go back in and change what I said, but the thing is, I'm just trying to speak from the heart and that includes all the mistakes and the slips that I made.
@@AlannaSterling yeah I noticed you kinda paused after the word like you realized it was the wrong one, but just in case you didn't know I wanted to explain anyway (plus if ppl watching don't know then they can learn from my comment.)
People tend to act as if mistakes online are a bigger deal because they're seen by more people and they assume you had time to edit and choose your words before uploading or posting something. But if someone is speaking from the heart and just trying to get out something that has been on their chest for a long time they're going to be more prone to slip ups because they aren't being slow and careful and calculating. Just like in face to face conversations sometimes we say the wrong thing or phrase something differently than we would prefer. Like in real life if someone uses the wrong pronouns accidentally for me when they normally use the right ones and see me as agender, it doesn't bother me if they apologize/correct themselves and move on because I mix up my words constantly as well, as long as you know their intentions are good and it isn't a thing they do often without working on it.
I don't judge you for anything you said in this video and think it was so incredibly brave to show us something so raw and heartfelt.
You are amazing and so inspiring!!!
You are amazing!
I’m a boy and I feel the same way like u bro
Donc elle aime quoi ? Je suis pas bon en anglais .
Mermaid explique que Mermaid n'arrive pas à ce définir en t'en d'être humain, que Mermaid ne sait pas si Mermaid est un homme ou une femme. Mermaid explique que dans la société, ce serait plus simple pour Mermaid d'être une femme mais de t'en à autre Mermaid se sent comme un homme et pas une femme, et cette situation lui fait peur. Mermaid a des amis autour qui comprennent son état et qui l'accepte. (J'ai volontairement remplacé les qualificatifs du genre "elle" car dans sa situation et dans son état d'esprit ce serait offensant.)
J'espère que tu comprend mieux son état actuel et que tu seras bien veillant envers elle.
@@furtiff123 oui je comprend, je n'ai pas de jugement 👍
@@furtiff123 merci pour le traduction, c'est bien dit. Je veux faire un video en francais pour mes fans franco, mais c'etait deja assez difficile a m'exprime en anglais, donc... peut-etre au futur mais pas maintenant. Merci pour comprendre.
I pledge to call you by your pronouns! Just one question... Can you still be a lesbian and genderfluid and nonbinary?
I wanna give you a hug
Youre awesome Merms! 💕
I totally get you, i feel the same thing, I´ve allways felt, and some days ago I found out I am gender fluid, and it´s great! I don´t konow how people can be only one gender😜,jk 😋
Sending love
Love their hair
Why do you think football is for boys and painting nails is for girls? Just do what activities you want and dispense with the sexism.
Congratulations 🙏🏽 I hope you feel more at peace now
Absolutely. I was so (physically) sick for so long. It's crazy how the mind affects the body. Coming out and living my truth, now my stomach isn't in knots all the time. So much more peaceful
I dont get all the emotion around it , youre an amazing artist and thats an deep identity enough
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Love you merms
Who disliked? I just wanna talk... (Hides knife behind back)
You are beautiful ❤️
Proud of you, Merms!!!!
Beautiful coming out, so touching ♥️ I understand you completely... It's so confusing, tough, scary, you're words are so strong and sincere, make le feel not alone again, retrust who I am. Thank you. You can be so proud of yourself
Sei mitica
You are incredible person
Love you Merms ❤💯
Much Love Alanna For Coming Out And Saying Who You Really Are And I Am So Damn Proud Of You For Doing This 💕💕💖🖤💜💛💚💙❤,Lord Colton Of Gallifrey
Graduation 🏳️🌈🌈💛🤍🖤💜
😺💚
I like you
I think it is normal to question it's own identity, howeve it is wrong to say you are different from what you are genetically. I mean that you can have existential crisis by not knowing who you really are but deny what you geneticaly are is wrong. I don't mean to offense anyone, i just want to remind people that either you are genetically a boy or a girl ( apart from androgynous people).
They aren’t a woman. They feel and are both and neither. They’re sex at birth might be but gender Identity is completely different and so much more important. If someone referred to you as something other then your gender all of the time you would get upset, they is just as valid as cis people. Not all peoples gender match WHATS in their pants. Research the history and science of gender fluidity
while I understand what you want to say, there seems to be something that needs to be clarified. Biological sex and psychological gender are two completely separate things. You can be in the body of a woman but have the "brain of a male". This is possible because, again, sex and gender are two different things. Most of the time, the male sex goes along with the "he/him" gender, but that's the point: *most of the time* .
I'd recommend you take some time doing research about transgender, gender-fluidity and other queer-related topics. I am sure you will learn a new thing or two :)
What I am saying is ... yes, people are gentically either a boy or a girl (with the exceptions mentioned by you), that is true. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean, that someone who is genetically a girl is ALSO necessarily a "she/her", because - once again - those are two completely different things.
dafaq
💜
💪🏼❤
❤️