I crashed a motorcycle several years ago. Bad. Doing the Superman slide on concrete going 60 mph, was terrifying. I vowed to never ride again. But I did...because I was talking about it with my close friends. When I first crashed, watching tv with a motorcycle crash or even near crash would leave me crying and shaking in the fetal position. Not anymore.
I’ve done EMDR, Regular Therapy, Equine Therapy, Cognitive Behavior for my PTSD ...years and years and no relief. Still have flashbacks, nightmares and get triggered 😞
@@Catmum1998 im in the uk too. Honestly, first port of call was my gp who referred me to the local psychological services. I was on a waiting list for a long time though. Finally got an appointment last week
C J ah thank you, I was transferred from camhs to adult services 2 and 1/2 years ago but I’ve never been offered that. I get an appointment every 4 months for 15 mins.
@@Catmum1998 yeah adult services are crap. Might be best seeing your gp and indicating you think therspy focused around trauma would be beneficial. Only if you feel thats what you need.
Trauma and PTSD were my major problems for so long. Once a therapist pointed out that was the issue and I worked on it with them and on my own things got better. I would say some things still trigger me but they don't take over my whole body and interrupt my day like they used to. I can function again! And I feel confident and positive that I can handle all of the things that used to knock me down. 😀
2:16-4:02 OMG KATI this is the PERFECT ANALOGY to explain what it's like walking through each day, stumbling upon triggers everywhere... years later.... I need some "broom & dustpan" time, holy crap, this was a perfect explanation. THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO!!! I'm going to show it to all my people to help explain "what it's like" when I go quiet, or mood shifts, and I just...... Just thank you Kati, thank you for everything
I experienced a sexual trauma when I was 16. I had serious issues with PTSD for years. My therapist and I processed through with prolonged exposure therapy. It was very scary and I was filled with anxiety at the beginning. I can say now that my anxiety is manageable now. I no longer have to feel the trauma anymore, and I am in recovery which is awesome!!!! I was triggered this week when I saw someone who looked like the guy who hurt me. However, I was able to use my tools and talk myself through the anxiety. I did find that by working through my main trauma cleared up a lot of other issues that I didn't realize were related. Thanks for this video Kati!
I experienced a hard dissociation a few weeks ago and discovered that I still have a lot of trauma around deaths from my past that I need to work through. There's about 8 deaths. So I ranked them in order from least intense to most intense so I can start with the easier ones. My therapist taught me to take each one individual and write down my feelings/parts that are present then write down my feelings towards these feelings/parts and be very compassionate toward myself. I'm also trying to pinpoint what makes them Traumatic. Since I recently finished therapy....I am also talking about/verbalizing each one with safe supportive friends. My friends know to remind me to breathe and if it gets hard to help bring me back to the present moment. I did talk through these with my therapist, but Im on a new level being able to talk about them in more detail. I am going with my gut and that's what I'm trying to see if it helps me cope better and be more resilient. I do think that talking about them helps.
I hope you read this !! I am a single mom w little help and I recently had a horrific accident . Your videos got me back into counseling and on some meds and I feel sooo much better . I wouldn’t have done this wo watching you. Thank you!!
This is exactly the information I’ve been looking for since I started therapy! I’ve been so confused as to how just talking about trauma can possibly be enough to overcome it and the inside out analogy made everything make perfect sense. Thank you so much 💕
What a great analogy. Now I understand why it’s not such a big deal to talk about my past trauma anymore. Thank you so much for this video, it’s really helpful.
I started watching again after seeing you in shane's video and I'm glad I did. I rage-quit therapy (which I'm sure lots of people do) because I got frustrated and felt like I wasn't making progress. I would have therapy first thing in the morning and usually would sleep the rest of the day, even when I was previously feeling good and productive and happy. This has made me feel a lot better about starting to work on everything again.
Oh and i so love the inside out explanation with the shattered marble. ♡ It makes so much sense!! Thank you for making those things so clear for us to understand. That makes this sh*t a little less overwhelming. ♡♡♡
Thank you for all the hard work you do. When I began PTSD therapy two years ago I felt overwhelmed and lost... Even though I can freely discuss the events now, I used to flashback and go catatonic for long periods of time without realizing it. I am now back into photography, which ceased after being in Somalia and my "mental movies an snapshots" are just like the marbles you described. Thank you so very much for helping me to see how much I have progressed. Hypervigilance sucks, but it's becoming manageable.😀😎
Thank goodness it doesn't last for ever!!! I feel like I have come so far in the best positive way & it feels amazing! EMDR has definitely helped speed up my process!
Am finding it’s getting harder for me to talk about my trauma. I just want to sob cause I never cried the 29 years of abuse. I feel my emotions are just dying to come out
Short answer: yes. Long answer: yes, and you can learn to cope with it. For some of us trauma does last for most or all of our lives - primarily due to lack of visibility, support and resources. It sucks and shouldn't be that way, but people survive it every day.
I thought my trauma was as managed as it was going to get, but this gives me some hope. Currently I can catch triggers early and more often than not prevent flashbacks, but it still feels like not poking the bear that is definitely still there. Next time I see my therapist I might try to talk some of it out. I just usually don't talk about the big stuff because, like you said, it can be exhausting and I don't want to ruin my day. But if there's hope for progress a couple "ruined" days might be worth it.
A lightbulb just went on again..... I told my therapist it’s like I came to her office with a huge stack of papers and just threw them up in the air and go “ ok let’s clean this up” 💡💡💡
Thank you for all your videos Kati, this really helped me today. I had just finished rewatching one of your BPD videos (the one where you reminded us that the negativity surrounding it online is nonsense). Gave me a boost - you're an awesome human! ❤️
kati i love your circle necklace. i can just focus on that for 10 minutes. glad youre wearing it!! thank you for your helpful videos i love your work and how detailed theyre. always at a good standart and informative. always feels like you understand too ♡
This is something I have thought alot about I still struggle alot but I am getting better I have not had emotinall flashbacks for months I am still scared of the guys who hurt me and I dont trust people yet and I am scared of meeting new people. I really loved this video Thank you for making these
Awesome video! I found you through Shane’s part two of “inside the mind of Jake Paul” but I subscribed because the topics you talk about really resonate with me. I have spent a long time in therapy and I am still learning new coping skills, and better ways to talk about things that are affecting me. I really enjoy your compassionate nature, and the empathetic way you talk about things. I hope that by watching your videos I can continue to learn and grow, and I might even be able to apply what I learn to my own therapy sessions. Thank you so much, and I look forward to more of your videos in the future ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am new to your channel and I subscribe, everything you say is very helpful. Also, you are so beautiful with your gestures while you speak and that helps pay attention to what you are going to say....greetings from Chile
I was diagnosed with ptsd when I was 15. I tried to avoid it - pretend it didn’t happen and just “move on”. And it worked - partially. When I was 17 I had nightmares every night, flashbacks, panic attacks etc etc and I started using alcohol and self-medicating with morphine. In other words I had buried all the trauma deep down and now it was bubbling up to the surface and I could no longer contain it anymore. And I thought to myself “alright, I gotta roll up my sleeves and dive headfirst into this pile of shit”. And I did. I accepted what happened and I forgave. Today, I’m 20 and have been without symptoms of trauma for 3 years. No panic attacks, no flashbacks, no anxiety, depression, sober, clean etc etc.
Thank you so much for your videos! They really help me in between visits the therapist I regularly see. I really appreciate all the time and energy you put into your videos!
My entire life is just trauma. Physically and emotionally abused from my dad up until I was 16. I've been raped twice. Sexually assaulted. Was in an incredibly emotionally abusive relationship. Lost my cousin who was more like a brother to suicide. I've survived 3 suicide attempts.. Was nearly stabbed, and on. All I've ever known is abuse and trauma. I still have nightmares so vivid I wake up sweating and panicking for hours, and have panic attacks everyday. I've been diagnosed with cptsd, too. Apparently to some people, I'm supposed to just get over my grocery list of traumas and just be happy. Like there's this switch in my brain I'm supposed to flick to 'happy and healed.' It pisses me off that not only have I been condemned to a prison by my abusers and rapists, but I then get shamed for not getting out of said prison. It's overwhelming. I feel people can't truly understand unless they themselves experience it.
Hi Kati, have you ever talked about betrayal trauma? I have been dealing with this for about two years and it is really hard to trust in my relationship. It's not from cheating, but another way I felt betrayed. Would you be able to make a video about this? Thanks so much for making these videos. They are really helpful.
I can't emphasize enough when comes to being sure you find a therapist who knows how to properly use EMDR. I found myself in a situation where after the session was over I was in complete trauma. The reason why is because she never took the time to take me out of the trauma experience before I left my session. After that I was in complete trauma mode, I had to cancel all my plans because I was too scared to even be outside. If a therapist offers EMDR to you, be sure you ask how much experience they have with that before you allow them to do such an intense activity to your brain.
I also want to say that not all therapists are good with trauma, so find one who is! I heard a therapist on a podcast downplay toxic and critical family members as just having “different opinions.” Another therapist said that we can choose whether to be traumatized or not, when that’s not really the case.
There's a difference between the "trauma" and the "trauma response". The source of the trauma will always be there. What CAN change, is our response to trauma. The trauma response can change and it's a beautiful, life-changing transformation. But the source will always be there. What matters is our response to that trauma.
Can you make a video on how to deal with extreme paranoia on word selection, behavior, social media posts reactions etc.. please i sometimes struggle with sharing or going out with people because im afraid something bad or weird i could say, shared, etc that will eventually shaped or form a whole personality to people that it wouldnt necessarily be true.
How do you be a good friend to someone who went through an incredibly life altering trauma? My friend is the kind of person who would rather just not talk about his trauma than to talk about it? He does see a therapist for it but the way he handles trauma has had it’s effects on me as a person and as a friend. He has lost two loved ones in 2 years and has begun shutting people out. How can I help him along this traumatic path without making this trauma worse?
Kati I love you❤... I was wondering if you can answer my question... How can you overcome depression and suicidal thoughts? For therapy how long should it take?
There isn't really a "time limit" for overcoming depression or suicidal thoughts....the important thing is to get help. Everyone heals differently, and everyone processes and learns to cope at different times. I hope you're able to find help and hang in there.
Comedy is a great way to deal with trauma I have done that several times My cousin told his friend something sad using my comments to make it funny and it was great
Love me some EMDR. I play classic Bejeweled on Zen mode and I think that does a light version of EMDR, if that makes sense. I know I sleep easier when I play for 10 minutes or so before bed!
Thank you! My Therapist keeps telling me about "processing" through talking about it. It's just too difficult to talk about, but I guess will keep trying if it means I can go back to a normal life...whatever that is 🤔😃💕
Where should one start if they can’t trust therapists? Doesn’t talking about it retraumatize people? It’s like remembering all the things that one tried so hard to forget.
#KatiFAQ Kati, I would love for you to do a video on closure. Does it exist? What are some misconceptions about it? Depending on how it is defined, can it be a negative thing if it is misused by oneself and others? I am a trauma survivor, spent time in foster care, and have a family member serving probably the rest of his life in jail. Him going to jail was not closure for me because I didn't start the hard work of healing until years later. I am almost 23 and am graduating this year in social work. My 20's have been amazing healing years thus far and I am getting nervous because my therapist is now spacing our sessions out to once a month. I feel ready and she feels like I'm ready, but I'm still nervous about it because it's a new thing for me. While it has added to my compassion and empathy, I'm so much more than a survivor. I'm funny, curious, intuitive, adventurous, kind, etc... I see myself, my REAL self... finally, and I'm still growing, but I'm not sure how to integrate these facts about my life in with this identity that I am creating/finding for myself. So I brought up the idea of a "closure ritual," to my therapist that includes a 2 part artistic approach. One part is of making two lists, one being a list of past rules I had been forced to live by, and then a list of new "freedom mantras" that contradict or modify those past rules. The second part is of making a collage where instead of deviding it completely in half, with one side being the past trauma and the other being the "new "healed" me," I find a way to mix my experiences together... And I have been doing EMDR, a modified type using EFT principles to aid dissociative tendencies probably, and it's been difficult, but amazing. I've run out of burning memories... they aren't burning anymore. But I am really exploring the concept of closure right now and would like for you to do a video on it. Thank you for all that you do, including all of the time you spend thinking about all of these things before they are pieced together.
Can I do the trauma healing by myself? I have been in therapy for 10 years, spent thousands of dollars, and it is mostly disappointing, while sometimes even abusive.
#KatiFAQ Hi Kati, I was wondering if you could do a video on how to stop manipulating people (you have done them on how to handle people like that but what if you are the person) and trying to be in control of everything in your environment such as your interactions.
I am traumatized by my dogs fighting multiple times, they are dachshunds. I separated them now. I don't know if i could give them my trust again... It's also weird when i google traumatized by dog fight, none shows up! Am i over exaggerated my feelings?! 😭
Thank you for this video. I feel like I've a 2 big T's and a lot of little t's related to them but as a child I decided to sit down and stop moving rather than risk hurting my feet on splintered marbles again. I need to find the courage to work on that again, at some point the symptoms seemed to have lessened. I should be able to work on that but I'm pretty scared...
I was in a car accident yesterday and I don't feel anything at all in relation to it, do you think this means it's processed or do you think I've repressed it? The smell still feels like it's in my nose and I've been avoiding thinking about what actually happened and getting angry when my mum keeps talking about how lucky I am... Do you have any videos about car crash mental recovery? ❤️
I meet a different one the 6 of Sept and I already told her I am broken each way I go no one has worked with me on it one of them told a peer support She can deal with the physical problems with her back as long as mental as such as anxiety and that was caused from abuse and my back i have disc disease and she thinks i can lift more than 5 lbs i was not going to fight with her all i said is i am broken that is all i look at it with who i have now i dont open up but i was open to Kelly the new therapist i told her a lot what is going on
Hey Kati. I need your help I’ve been dealing with dreams that keep on predicting things that actually happened and I’m able to cry when I sleep of somthing sad I don’t now what’s happening to me can you see what’s going on with me
Hey Kati (and Kinions), I hope you can help me with this because I am not in therapy atm and can't ask this anywhere else. Is it at all possible that trauma can come from dreams? In my childhood I used to be very scared of my father because he would scream a lot and chase after me when I would run into my room to hide and then he would bang against the door so hard, I thought he would break through. He only actually hit me a handful of times and never really that bad but I would have nightmares about him torturing and killing my family or setting the house on fire. I was professionally diagnosed with DP/DR and I can't imagine that the things that actually happened were bad enough to be considered little traumas; the things that happened in my dreams on the other hand were big traumas but not real... Is it possible that my nightmares caused my dissociation? Thanks in advance 💗
Do you know anything about inherited trauma? I really haven't had traumatic events happen in my life but it seems as though I act like I've been traumatized anyhow. How do I process though things that either happened when I was an infant ( mom was in the hospital a lot until I was 2) or things that didn't actually happen to me there is a long history of abuse in my parents and grandparents and great grandparents
#katiFAQ Hi kati how do I tell my parents that I want to start therapy without saying it straight? I’m 14 and don’t have the best relationship with my parents I feel worthless, no one loves me and I’m starting to think about cutting. I think I’m to emotionally full, as I cry most day without good reason. My thoughts are scaring me. Everything I think about seems to end with death. I’m at a point where I don’t see a future for myself I’m not worth wasting time with for me to just kill my self. I’ve written my note and made my plan. I really don’t want it to end that way but there’s no other way out. Lyl kati thanks in advance x
Hey kati just started to go back into therapy. My last therapist ended my therapy quite abruptly. They was a trauma therapist and specialised in Dissacioation identity disorder... She left we in quite a state, but iv just started back with a new therapist she's an art therapist. Which is obviously different. Its very scary after my last experience. Iv only had 3 sessions upto now but how long will it take to know if this is right or even safe to open up.
Hi Sorry it's not connected to the video but I was wondering if you could make a video about Autistic people having children what the risks are for having a child that is autistic as well. I think I have high-functioning autism I've never been to the Dr but I'm sure I have always had it. I have a 1 year old child and I'm almost certain he is severely autistic and I was wondering if genetics plays a part in that as my wife is not autistic.
I’ve got a question I struggle with my own problems like self harm but have never been diagnosed with anything, anyway my sister has anorexia depression and anxiety, I don’t know what to do because she relies on me a lot so if I’m not hungry and don’t eat she will say she won’t eat but that can’t happen because of her anorexia. I don’t know what to do this happens a lot and I don’t know what to do I feel like She puts her mental issues on me and I can’t handle it I’m only 14 and she’s 25. Please help me I don’t know what to do
I had 1 abuse councilling session either earlier this year or last year. Then he rang me & said that he thought I wasn’t stable enough to carry on with anymore sessions, coz he thought I had a lot going on at the time that the councilling started. What’s your thoughts on this please? I really feel like I need to work through passed traumas as they happened years ago & I was offer no help with them until the time I’ve mentioned. I was on the waiting list for 5 months aswell before I was oftered a place
#katifaq Hey Kati! ( I don't know if you still do this but I hope you do)... My therapist thinks that my phobia is really caused by inter/trans generational trauma. When I asked her how traumas are passed on through generations, she told me to just google it and then changed the subject. I couldn't find much on google about this and I was hoping that maybe you would be able to answer my question. What is intergenerational trauma and how does it work? (And can it cause a specific phobia?) Sorry for asking so many questions...
Hey guys , a friend of mine has a small channel based on her giving insight about what life is like with DID ( disassociative Identify disorder ) . Yeah her channel is SystemK please go check her out and support her ❤❤ And please be nice and understanding of the disorder , she has enough stressing her out as is , so if you don't like it just move on I guess 😂
No. I suffered with Bulimia for 30 years and went from treatment center to treatment center. I knew I had a childhood trauma, but could not conquer it in residential treatment. I finally found a trauma specialist and we used EMDR. I am totally over the PTSD and have not used any eating disorder symptoms since. It's NOT easy work, but well worth it.
Feels like my trauma will last forever. I'm struggling to feel safe, like in the hierarchy of needs, and have not been able to make any satisfying progress toward healing. My disability prevents me from working, which prevents me from getting into a safer environment. Sucks.
I totally hear you. I'm also struggling with the same things. I just don't feel safe to talk about things because I was met with shame and rejection and its somehow always my fault. I wish I had a way to make it better.
I'm 50, and flashbacks...oh yeah. I have thought about EMDR but I may never really be ready for it. By many accounts, if we're not ready, its effects will be limited. For me, I'm betting the farm on raising and training a psychiatric service dog. I don't have him yet, though. He'll be one "person" I know I can count on 100% 24/7.
The things I’ve been through these past few years has got me stuck in this hole where idk how to get out of it. I’ve never been so lost in my life. I’ve had depression and anxiety for years but these past few years of going through a divorce, being on disability with no extra money to barely get by on and no friends to talk to and rely on and a family that lives in another state. I’m stuck in this rut now and I don’t think any amount of meds or therapy can fix this. It seems theirs no answers or solutions.
Glen Hunt are you not safe? Call a local police station for help or resources... or planned parenthood. Life is so long my love, you can find happiness, you will. Some of us have to work harder than others to find it, but we can.
Nicole, for me it's more like an "emotional" safe place. I still don't know how to turn off my hyper vigilance. I don't feel safe to say things about how I really think or feel. I just see "danger" everywhere.
Kati, this is the most timely video! Thank you. Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of The Federal Floods post-Katrina in New Orleans. I am a survivor. I was actually there and also at the Convention Center. Before these events I was already diagnosed and in treatment for several disorders along with C-PTSD. Now I am considered permanently disabled., legally and medically. Some traumas may stay forever. BUT, it can and does get better through work and mindful efforts every day. I had many years of CBT and talking therapy, DBT, group, meds, much, much work. I know I will never have a "normal" life, but I have integrated enough to have a real, valuable life worth living. I am writing this, shaking, hoping I don't panic or dissociate. But I have to type this out. it may inspire someone who thinks overcoming trauma is not possible. Some traumas may be with you forever, but that doesn't mean your life will be hopeless. There is always possible recovery, and there are better days ahead with lots of professional help and hard work. Thanks for doing what you do. I appreciate your videos and your community.
I just lost my father and found that to be the breaking point in my ability to stuff down all my emotions and memories. So I’m binge watching your videos trying to get up the courage to see someone.
Kati I have been traumatised multiple times over my short 16 years of life . I cry when people yell at me or at anyone in my vicinity. I almost started crying when I smelt something I hadn’t smelt in years from when I was abused. Sometimes I have a panic attack at night time when I’m trying to sleep because my room will start to look like the room I was abused in and I’m scared I’m back in there. I’m supposed to be getting therapy but haven’t had it yet and I dont know how to bring it up with my mum.
Bekkah W I wish you luck. This thing with smells and things looking like that place also happen to me. We experience a lot of symptoms the same with trauma, although the events were different for each of us..
You're really self aware for being so young, I think that's incredibly helpful for starting to deal with trauma. I'm under 25 and trying to get over multiple traumas too. You're not alone, you might be surprised by how caring some people can be, and how helpful. Just keep pushing, keep looking for help, never give up on fighting for yourself, and always be reminded to love yourself wherever you are in your journey. I feel you, you got this.
Hey mate. Getting into therapy is pretty important for you tho. It's hard to bring up to a parent that you think that you need to see a therapist. Especially if you have not the best relationship with your mom? Or you are simply afraid of questions? You can say I need it and you don't want to talk about it at the moment. Amazing that you noticed it. That's really good. You deserve to feel better.
Thank you for sharing that. I relate so much to what you said. You honestly don't have to bring it up with your mom. Thats the mistake, I've made. Your mom might react in a way, that might make your anxiety worse. Because those who aren't professional, lack the understanding.
Been wondering this myself tbh. It does feel like it will last forever. Fingers crossed for the day it won’t effect me anymore. I knew you were going to talk about inside out. I explained this to someone a few days ago and t helped them understand. Thank you Kati. Helpful as always. ♥️
I LITERALLY just asked my therapist this question last night. Word for word. Perfect timing as always!
Yay! I am so glad this came out at a good time :) xoxo I hope it was helpful!!
@@Katimorton what if you feel so discounted from your body?
What answer did they give u?
Same as Kati: yes it does get better but only if you put in the work
I crashed a motorcycle several years ago. Bad. Doing the Superman slide on concrete going 60 mph, was terrifying. I vowed to never ride again. But I did...because I was talking about it with my close friends. When I first crashed, watching tv with a motorcycle crash or even near crash would leave me crying and shaking in the fetal position. Not anymore.
I’ve done EMDR, Regular Therapy, Equine Therapy, Cognitive Behavior for my PTSD ...years and years and no relief. Still have flashbacks, nightmares and get triggered 😞
Thank you for saving our time.
I pray you get the healing you deserve.
The shattered marble was the perfect metaphor for trauma! I also love the movie Inside Out! Such a good reference! Pixar did a great job!🙌🏻💫💜🌈
I'm sick of being in low mood.... i want to be cheerful... is that a good thing to aim for 😔
I just started trauma-based therapy so this video is so helpful. Thank you for this!
Of course!! Glad it was helpful :) xoxo
C J hiya, I’m sorry that you have experienced trauma. How does one go about starting trauma based therapy? (I live in the uk)
@@Catmum1998 im in the uk too. Honestly, first port of call was my gp who referred me to the local psychological services. I was on a waiting list for a long time though. Finally got an appointment last week
C J ah thank you, I was transferred from camhs to adult services 2 and 1/2 years ago but I’ve never been offered that. I get an appointment every 4 months for 15 mins.
@@Catmum1998 yeah adult services are crap. Might be best seeing your gp and indicating you think therspy focused around trauma would be beneficial. Only if you feel thats what you need.
Trauma and PTSD were my major problems for so long. Once a therapist pointed out that was the issue and I worked on it with them and on my own things got better. I would say some things still trigger me but they don't take over my whole body and interrupt my day like they used to. I can function again! And I feel confident and positive that I can handle all of the things that used to knock me down. 😀
I’m going to share this with my therapist on Monday - I’m working on my trauma and the ‘Inside Out’ analogy was excellent. Thank you Katie.
Your channel is sooooo important :) I wish more people understand how important mental health and therapy is.
2:16-4:02 OMG KATI this is the PERFECT ANALOGY to explain what it's like walking through each day, stumbling upon triggers everywhere... years later.... I need some "broom & dustpan" time, holy crap, this was a perfect explanation.
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO!!! I'm going to show it to all my people to help explain "what it's like" when I go quiet, or mood shifts, and I just......
Just thank you Kati, thank you for everything
Yay!!! I am so glad that analogy landed with you :) YOU ARE SO WELCOME :) xoxo
I experienced a sexual trauma when I was 16. I had serious issues with PTSD for years. My therapist and I processed through with prolonged exposure therapy. It was very scary and I was filled with anxiety at the beginning. I can say now that my anxiety is manageable now. I no longer have to feel the trauma anymore, and I am in recovery which is awesome!!!! I was triggered this week when I saw someone who looked like the guy who hurt me. However, I was able to use my tools and talk myself through the anxiety. I did find that by working through my main trauma cleared up a lot of other issues that I didn't realize were related.
Thanks for this video Kati!
I experienced a hard dissociation a few weeks ago and discovered that I still have a lot of trauma around deaths from my past that I need to work through. There's about 8 deaths. So I ranked them in order from least intense to most intense so I can start with the easier ones. My therapist taught me to take each one individual and write down my feelings/parts that are present then write down my feelings towards these feelings/parts and be very compassionate toward myself. I'm also trying to pinpoint what makes them Traumatic. Since I recently finished therapy....I am also talking about/verbalizing each one with safe supportive friends. My friends know to remind me to breathe and if it gets hard to help bring me back to the present moment. I did talk through these with my therapist, but Im on a new level being able to talk about them in more detail. I am going with my gut and that's what I'm trying to see if it helps me cope better and be more resilient. I do think that talking about them helps.
I hope you read this !! I am a single mom w little help and I recently had a horrific accident . Your videos got me back into counseling and on some meds and I feel sooo much better . I wouldn’t have done this wo watching you. Thank you!!
This is exactly the information I’ve been looking for since I started therapy! I’ve been so confused as to how just talking about trauma can possibly be enough to overcome it and the inside out analogy made everything make perfect sense. Thank you so much 💕
I was just talking with my mentor about this last night. Perfect timing. Love you
What a great analogy. Now I understand why it’s not such a big deal to talk about my past trauma anymore. Thank you so much for this video, it’s really helpful.
I started watching again after seeing you in shane's video and I'm glad I did. I rage-quit therapy (which I'm sure lots of people do) because I got frustrated and felt like I wasn't making progress. I would have therapy first thing in the morning and usually would sleep the rest of the day, even when I was previously feeling good and productive and happy. This has made me feel a lot better about starting to work on everything again.
I was having that exact panic in trauma therapy today! Thank you so so much for this Kati!
Oh and i so love the inside out explanation with the shattered marble. ♡ It makes so much sense!! Thank you for making those things so clear for us to understand. That makes this sh*t a little less overwhelming. ♡♡♡
Thank you for all the hard work you do. When I began PTSD therapy two years ago I felt overwhelmed and lost... Even though I can freely discuss the events now, I used to flashback and go catatonic for long periods of time without realizing it. I am now back into photography, which ceased after being in Somalia and my "mental movies an snapshots" are just like the marbles you described. Thank you so very much for helping me to see how much I have progressed. Hypervigilance sucks, but it's becoming manageable.😀😎
Thank goodness it doesn't last for ever!!! I feel like I have come so far in the best positive way & it feels amazing! EMDR has definitely helped speed up my process!
Have to say, love your opening welcome, when you say "welcome" always makes me smile, thanks!
I still need to talk to a therapist about my trauma so I'll be able to move forward and have a clear conscience thank you
Thank you Kati. 😊💜💜💜
Childhood trauma is a challenge for me. Seeing therapist and working on it.
Am finding it’s getting harder for me to talk about my trauma. I just want to sob cause I never cried the 29 years of abuse. I feel my emotions are just dying to come out
Short answer: yes. Long answer: yes, and you can learn to cope with it.
For some of us trauma does last for most or all of our lives - primarily due to lack of visibility, support and resources. It sucks and shouldn't be that way, but people survive it every day.
I thought my trauma was as managed as it was going to get, but this gives me some hope. Currently I can catch triggers early and more often than not prevent flashbacks, but it still feels like not poking the bear that is definitely still there. Next time I see my therapist I might try to talk some of it out. I just usually don't talk about the big stuff because, like you said, it can be exhausting and I don't want to ruin my day. But if there's hope for progress a couple "ruined" days might be worth it.
A lightbulb just went on again..... I told my therapist it’s like I came to her office with a huge stack of papers and just threw them up in the air and go “ ok let’s clean this up” 💡💡💡
Thank you for all your videos Kati, this really helped me today. I had just finished rewatching one of your BPD videos (the one where you reminded us that the negativity surrounding it online is nonsense). Gave me a boost - you're an awesome human! ❤️
kati i love your circle necklace. i can just focus on that for 10 minutes. glad youre wearing it!! thank you for your helpful videos i love your work and how detailed theyre. always at a good standart and informative. always feels like you understand too ♡
This is something I have thought alot about I still struggle alot but I am getting better I have not had emotinall flashbacks for months I am still scared of the guys who hurt me and I dont trust people yet and I am scared of meeting new people. I really loved this video Thank you for making these
Awesome video! I found you through Shane’s part two of “inside the mind of Jake Paul” but I subscribed because the topics you talk about really resonate with me. I have spent a long time in therapy and I am still learning new coping skills, and better ways to talk about things that are affecting me. I really enjoy your compassionate nature, and the empathetic way you talk about things. I hope that by watching your videos I can continue to learn and grow, and I might even be able to apply what I learn to my own therapy sessions. Thank you so much, and I look forward to more of your videos in the future ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am new to your channel and I subscribe, everything you say is very helpful. Also, you are so beautiful with your gestures while you speak and that helps pay attention to what you are going to say....greetings from Chile
Trauma work is exhausting to say the least. Its not for the faint of heart.
I was diagnosed with ptsd when I was 15. I tried to avoid it - pretend it didn’t happen and just “move on”. And it worked - partially. When I was 17 I had nightmares every night, flashbacks, panic attacks etc etc and I started using alcohol and self-medicating with morphine. In other words I had buried all the trauma deep down and now it was bubbling up to the surface and I could no longer contain it anymore. And I thought to myself “alright, I gotta roll up my sleeves and dive headfirst into this pile of shit”. And I did. I accepted what happened and I forgave. Today, I’m 20 and have been without symptoms of trauma for 3 years. No panic attacks, no flashbacks, no anxiety, depression, sober, clean etc etc.
Thank you, Kati! You are great and it makes me feel very good to listening to you. Best wishes!
Thank you so much for your videos! They really help me in between visits the therapist I regularly see. I really appreciate all the time and energy you put into your videos!
My entire life is just trauma. Physically and emotionally abused from my dad up until I was 16. I've been raped twice. Sexually assaulted. Was in an incredibly emotionally abusive relationship. Lost my cousin who was more like a brother to suicide. I've survived 3 suicide attempts.. Was nearly stabbed, and on. All I've ever known is abuse and trauma. I still have nightmares so vivid I wake up sweating and panicking for hours, and have panic attacks everyday. I've been diagnosed with cptsd, too. Apparently to some people, I'm supposed to just get over my grocery list of traumas and just be happy. Like there's this switch in my brain I'm supposed to flick to 'happy and healed.' It pisses me off that not only have I been condemned to a prison by my abusers and rapists, but I then get shamed for not getting out of said prison. It's overwhelming. I feel people can't truly understand unless they themselves experience it.
Hi Kati, have you ever talked about betrayal trauma? I have been dealing with this for about two years and it is really hard to trust in my relationship. It's not from cheating, but another way I felt betrayed. Would you be able to make a video about this? Thanks so much for making these videos. They are really helpful.
I can't emphasize enough when comes to being sure you find a therapist who knows how to properly use EMDR. I found myself in a situation where after the session was over I was in complete trauma. The reason why is because she never took the time to take me out of the trauma experience before I left my session. After that I was in complete trauma mode, I had to cancel all my plans because I was too scared to even be outside. If a therapist offers EMDR to you, be sure you ask how much experience they have with that before you allow them to do such an intense activity to your brain.
Thank you for all trauma related videos!
Awesome video, Kati!! Thank you so much! Can you make a video about brainspotting therapy? It’s been a major part of my trauma therapy.
Ahhh... I love this imagery. This is so helpful. Thank you Kati!!
I also want to say that not all therapists are good with trauma, so find one who is! I heard a therapist on a podcast downplay toxic and critical family members as just having “different opinions.” Another therapist said that we can choose whether to be traumatized or not, when that’s not really the case.
I tried EMDR and it really works with talk therapy.
Wonderful message! Thank you soooo much
Of course!! So happy to help :) xoxo
There's a difference between the "trauma" and the "trauma response". The source of the trauma will always be there. What CAN change, is our response to trauma. The trauma response can change and it's a beautiful, life-changing transformation. But the source will always be there. What matters is our response to that trauma.
I didn't know how much I needed this video until now ❤ came on just the right day too. Thank you Kati ❤❤
EMDR messed me up horribly messed me up really bad... I could not ground myself.. I was an emotional and depressive wreck
Can you make a video on how to deal with extreme paranoia on word selection, behavior, social media posts reactions etc.. please i sometimes struggle with sharing or going out with people because im afraid something bad or weird i could say, shared, etc that will eventually shaped or form a whole personality to people that it wouldnt necessarily be true.
This is seriously helpful
How do you be a good friend to someone who went through an incredibly life altering trauma? My friend is the kind of person who would rather just not talk about his trauma than to talk about it? He does see a therapist for it but the way he handles trauma has had it’s effects on me as a person and as a friend. He has lost two loved ones in 2 years and has begun shutting people out. How can I help him along this traumatic path without making this trauma worse?
Make SURE you find someone who is trustworthy and really knows what they're doing when it comes to emdr. I cannot stress that enough.
Thank you so much for helping us ❤️💜❤️
Love this video!
Makes perfect sense. Thank you.
Kati I love you❤... I was wondering if you can answer my question... How can you overcome depression and suicidal thoughts? For therapy how long should it take?
There isn't really a "time limit" for overcoming depression or suicidal thoughts....the important thing is to get help. Everyone heals differently, and everyone processes and learns to cope at different times. I hope you're able to find help and hang in there.
Kati, you are a blessing ❤
Comedy is a great way to deal with trauma I have done that several times
My cousin told his friend something sad using my comments to make it funny and it was great
I am just now starting into trauma therapy.
Love me some EMDR. I play classic Bejeweled on Zen mode and I think that does a light version of EMDR, if that makes sense. I know I sleep easier when I play for 10 minutes or so before bed!
Thanks
Thank you for sharing ☺
Angel hugs n Blessings to you and yours 😇
Do a video on 'how do i forgive myself?'
I already have!! th-cam.com/video/hdf2G61iPl4/w-d-xo.html I hope it's helpful!! xox
Thank you! My Therapist keeps telling me about "processing" through talking about it. It's just too difficult to talk about, but I guess will keep trying if it means I can go back to a normal life...whatever that is 🤔😃💕
Where should one start if they can’t trust therapists? Doesn’t talking about it retraumatize people? It’s like remembering all the things that one tried so hard to forget.
#KatiFAQ
Kati, I would love for you to do a video on closure. Does it exist? What are some misconceptions about it? Depending on how it is defined, can it be a negative thing if it is misused by oneself and others?
I am a trauma survivor, spent time in foster care, and have a family member serving probably the rest of his life in jail. Him going to jail was not closure for me because I didn't start the hard work of healing until years later. I am almost 23 and am graduating this year in social work. My 20's have been amazing healing years thus far and I am getting nervous because my therapist is now spacing our sessions out to once a month. I feel ready and she feels like I'm ready, but I'm still nervous about it because it's a new thing for me. While it has added to my compassion and empathy, I'm so much more than a survivor. I'm funny, curious, intuitive, adventurous, kind, etc... I see myself, my REAL self... finally, and I'm still growing, but I'm not sure how to integrate these facts about my life in with this identity that I am creating/finding for myself. So I brought up the idea of a "closure ritual," to my therapist that includes a 2 part artistic approach. One part is of making two lists, one being a list of past rules I had been forced to live by, and then a list of new "freedom mantras" that contradict or modify those past rules. The second part is of making a collage where instead of deviding it completely in half, with one side being the past trauma and the other being the "new "healed" me," I find a way to mix my experiences together... And I have been doing EMDR, a modified type using EFT principles to aid dissociative tendencies probably, and it's been difficult, but amazing. I've run out of burning memories... they aren't burning anymore. But I am really exploring the concept of closure right now and would like for you to do a video on it. Thank you for all that you do, including all of the time you spend thinking about all of these things before they are pieced together.
how can you tell your therapist about some traumas when you feel like you don't wan't to tell them?
How do you move on from a violent and lonely childhood? I am much much better but would like to improve.
Can I do the trauma healing by myself? I have been in therapy for 10 years, spent thousands of dollars, and it is mostly disappointing, while sometimes even abusive.
Could you talk about how this works with attachment trauma. For me relationships cause trauma responses but then I’m ok when I’m alone and single.
Psychedelic Trauma Therapy 👌
#KatiFAQ
Hi Kati, I was wondering if you could do a video on how to stop manipulating people (you have done them on how to handle people like that but what if you are the person) and trying to be in control of everything in your environment such as your interactions.
I am traumatized by my dogs fighting multiple times, they are dachshunds. I separated them now. I don't know if i could give them my trust again... It's also weird when i google traumatized by dog fight, none shows up! Am i over exaggerated my feelings?! 😭
Thank you for this video.
I feel like I've a 2 big T's and a lot of little t's related to them but as a child I decided to sit down and stop moving rather than risk hurting my feet on splintered marbles again.
I need to find the courage to work on that again, at some point the symptoms seemed to have lessened. I should be able to work on that but I'm pretty scared...
I was in a car accident yesterday and I don't feel anything at all in relation to it, do you think this means it's processed or do you think I've repressed it? The smell still feels like it's in my nose and I've been avoiding thinking about what actually happened and getting angry when my mum keeps talking about how lucky I am... Do you have any videos about car crash mental recovery? ❤️
Love your videos. 😍
Any good mental health movies or documentaries???
I meet a different one the 6 of Sept and I already told her I am broken each way I go no one has worked with me on it one of them told a peer support She can deal with the physical problems with her back as long as mental as such as anxiety and that was caused from abuse and my back i have disc disease and she thinks i can lift more than 5 lbs i was not going to fight with her all i said is i am broken that is all i look at it with who i have now i dont open up but i was open to Kelly the new therapist i told her a lot what is going on
Hey Kati. I need your help I’ve been dealing with dreams that keep on predicting things that actually happened and I’m able to cry when I sleep of somthing sad I don’t now what’s happening to me can you see what’s going on with me
Perfect
EMDR used to give me headaches haha
snap x
Hey Kati (and Kinions), I hope you can help me with this because I am not in therapy atm and can't ask this anywhere else.
Is it at all possible that trauma can come from dreams?
In my childhood I used to be very scared of my father because he would scream a lot and chase after me when I would run into my room to hide and then he would bang against the door so hard, I thought he would break through.
He only actually hit me a handful of times and never really that bad but I would have nightmares about him torturing and killing my family or setting the house on fire.
I was professionally diagnosed with DP/DR and I can't imagine that the things that actually happened were bad enough to be considered little traumas; the things that happened in my dreams on the other hand were big traumas but not real...
Is it possible that my nightmares caused my dissociation?
Thanks in advance 💗
Personally, i think the things u describe happening in ur real life is enough to caise trauma. esp in a child.
Do you know anything about inherited trauma? I really haven't had traumatic events happen in my life but it seems as though I act like I've been traumatized anyhow. How do I process though things that either happened when I was an infant ( mom was in the hospital a lot until I was 2) or things that didn't actually happen to me there is a long history of abuse in my parents and grandparents and great grandparents
#katiFAQ Hi kati how do I tell my parents that I want to start therapy without saying it straight?
I’m 14 and don’t have the best relationship with my parents I feel worthless, no one loves me and I’m starting to think about cutting. I think I’m to emotionally full, as I cry most day without good reason. My thoughts are scaring me. Everything I think about seems to end with death. I’m at a point where I don’t see a future for myself I’m not worth wasting time with for me to just kill my self. I’ve written my note and made my plan. I really don’t want it to end that way but there’s no other way out. Lyl kati thanks in advance x
Hey kati just started to go back into therapy. My last therapist ended my therapy quite abruptly. They was a trauma therapist and specialised in Dissacioation identity disorder... She left we in quite a state, but iv just started back with a new therapist she's an art therapist. Which is obviously different. Its very scary after my last experience. Iv only had 3 sessions upto now but how long will it take to know if this is right or even safe to open up.
Hi Sorry it's not connected to the video but I was wondering if you could make a video about Autistic people having children what the risks are for having a child that is autistic as well. I think I have high-functioning autism I've never been to the Dr but I'm sure I have always had it. I have a 1 year old child and I'm almost certain he is severely autistic and I was wondering if genetics plays a part in that as my wife is not autistic.
Where can I message you for a video request?
Neuro feedback?
I’ve got a question
I struggle with my own problems like self harm but have never been diagnosed with anything, anyway my sister has anorexia depression and anxiety, I don’t know what to do because she relies on me a lot so if I’m not hungry and don’t eat she will say she won’t eat but that can’t happen because of her anorexia. I don’t know what to do this happens a lot and I don’t know what to do I feel like She puts her mental issues on me and I can’t handle it I’m only 14 and she’s 25. Please help me I don’t know what to do
I had 1 abuse councilling session either earlier this year or last year. Then he rang me & said that he thought I wasn’t stable enough to carry on with anymore sessions, coz he thought I had a lot going on at the time that the councilling started. What’s your thoughts on this please? I really feel like I need to work through passed traumas as they happened years ago & I was offer no help with them until the time I’ve mentioned. I was on the waiting list for 5 months aswell before I was oftered a place
#katifaq Hey Kati! ( I don't know if you still do this but I hope you do)... My therapist thinks that my phobia is really caused by inter/trans generational trauma. When I asked her how traumas are passed on through generations, she told me to just google it and then changed the subject. I couldn't find much on google about this and I was hoping that maybe you would be able to answer my question. What is intergenerational trauma and how does it work? (And can it cause a specific phobia?) Sorry for asking so many questions...
Hey guys , a friend of mine has a small channel based on her giving insight about what life is like with DID ( disassociative Identify disorder ) . Yeah her channel is SystemK please go check her out and support her ❤❤ And please be nice and understanding of the disorder , she has enough stressing her out as is , so if you don't like it just move on I guess 😂
No. I suffered with Bulimia for 30 years and went from treatment center to treatment center. I knew I had a childhood trauma, but could not conquer it in residential treatment. I finally found a trauma specialist and we used EMDR. I am totally over the PTSD and have not used any eating disorder symptoms since. It's NOT easy work, but well worth it.
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your empowering story :) It is definitely hard work, but I agree... so worth it :) xoxo
Rascal, your Medicare should cover a good therapist. Good luck.
I wish trauma therapy was an option for me. It's been 20+ years now. I think I will either die from anorexia/bulimia or suicide. And hopefully soon.
How many sessions
Traci, Everyone is different. It all depends on what method you and your therapist agree on and ultimately it depends on how ready you are.
Feels like my trauma will last forever. I'm struggling to feel safe, like in the hierarchy of needs, and have not been able to make any satisfying progress toward healing. My disability prevents me from working, which prevents me from getting into a safer environment. Sucks.
I totally hear you. I'm also struggling with the same things. I just don't feel safe to talk about things because I was met with shame and rejection and its somehow always my fault. I wish I had a way to make it better.
I'm 50, and flashbacks...oh yeah. I have thought about EMDR but I may never really be ready for it. By many accounts, if we're not ready, its effects will be limited. For me, I'm betting the farm on raising and training a psychiatric service dog. I don't have him yet, though. He'll be one "person" I know I can count on 100% 24/7.
The things I’ve been through these past few years has got me stuck in this hole where idk how to get out of it. I’ve never been so lost in my life. I’ve had depression and anxiety for years but these past few years of going through a divorce, being on disability with no extra money to barely get by on and no friends to talk to and rely on and a family that lives in another state. I’m stuck in this rut now and I don’t think any amount of meds or therapy can fix this. It seems theirs no answers or solutions.
Glen Hunt are you not safe? Call a local police station for help or resources... or planned parenthood. Life is so long my love, you can find happiness, you will. Some of us have to work harder than others to find it, but we can.
Nicole, for me it's more like an "emotional" safe place. I still don't know how to turn off my hyper vigilance. I don't feel safe to say things about how I really think or feel. I just see "danger" everywhere.
love ur contribution to the world Katie .. so much gratitude in love n light 🌈🍓😚💖💕✨
Awe thank you for the sweet comment Olivia :) xoxo
Kati, this is the most timely video! Thank you. Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of The Federal Floods post-Katrina in New Orleans. I am a survivor. I was actually there and also at the Convention Center. Before these events I was already diagnosed and in treatment for several disorders along with C-PTSD. Now I am considered permanently disabled., legally and medically. Some traumas may stay forever. BUT, it can and does get better through work and mindful efforts every day. I had many years of CBT and talking therapy, DBT, group, meds, much, much work. I know I will never have a "normal" life, but I have integrated enough to have a real, valuable life worth living. I am writing this, shaking, hoping I don't panic or dissociate. But I have to type this out. it may inspire someone who thinks overcoming trauma is not possible. Some traumas may be with you forever, but that doesn't mean your life will be hopeless. There is always possible recovery, and there are better days ahead with lots of professional help and hard work. Thanks for doing what you do. I appreciate your videos and your community.
I just lost my father and found that to be the breaking point in my ability to stuff down all my emotions and memories. So I’m binge watching your videos trying to get up the courage to see someone.
How are u now 🙏
Kati I have been traumatised multiple times over my short 16 years of life . I cry when people yell at me or at anyone in my vicinity. I almost started crying when I smelt something I hadn’t smelt in years from when I was abused. Sometimes I have a panic attack at night time when I’m trying to sleep because my room will start to look like the room I was abused in and I’m scared I’m back in there. I’m supposed to be getting therapy but haven’t had it yet and I dont know how to bring it up with my mum.
Bekkah W I wish you luck. This thing with smells and things looking like that place also happen to me. We experience a lot of symptoms the same with trauma, although the events were different for each of us..
You're really self aware for being so young, I think that's incredibly helpful for starting to deal with trauma. I'm under 25 and trying to get over multiple traumas too. You're not alone, you might be surprised by how caring some people can be, and how helpful. Just keep pushing, keep looking for help, never give up on fighting for yourself, and always be reminded to love yourself wherever you are in your journey. I feel you, you got this.
Hey mate. Getting into therapy is pretty important for you tho. It's hard to bring up to a parent that you think that you need to see a therapist. Especially if you have not the best relationship with your mom? Or you are simply afraid of questions? You can say I need it and you don't want to talk about it at the moment.
Amazing that you noticed it. That's really good. You deserve to feel better.
Thank you for sharing that. I relate so much to what you said.
You honestly don't have to bring it up with your mom. Thats the mistake, I've made.
Your mom might react in a way, that might make your anxiety worse.
Because those who aren't professional, lack the understanding.
Been wondering this myself tbh. It does feel like it will last forever. Fingers crossed for the day it won’t effect me anymore. I knew you were going to talk about inside out. I explained this to someone a few days ago and t helped them understand. Thank you Kati. Helpful as always. ♥️
I can't help but mention Inside Out!! hahah!! You know me too well :) So glad it was helpful! xoxo
Kati Morton it’s one of Disney’s good ones. X
Perfect