Questions that HAUNT the INFJ...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ย. 2024
- #infj #infjpersonalitytype #16personalities #mbti #myersbriggs
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The best an ENTJ can offer an INFJ is an organized adventure and calm in any situational chaos.
I would love to meet and work with ENTJs lol
@@azyleefistory We are rare and often misunderstood forces of nature :p I get so much joy from helping people achieve their goals.
My cousin is an ENTJ and I'm an INFJ. She certainly is great at pushing for an adventure and getting me out of my head, but is also okay with sitting down and talking about deep or troubling topics. She's brutally honest, which I appreciate.
My best friend is ENTJ and how I love her! I'm INFJ.
@@nancydrew81Oh! We INFJs may take that offer, you know. You ENTJs are the ones with the rarest type, now that I think...and I know, from FJ channel (INFJ), what having an ENTJ as a Life project partner can cause. It is excellent for his videos. It shows in his scripts and dress style. I gather that info and yes, you ENTJs like to give recommendations if it helps someone, specially an spouse.
i’ve seen many INFJs and youtubers talk about INFJs and the 16 personalities in general but none of them are this precise and profound and “accurate” in their understanding and elaboration.
you’re so good at what you do and your content is amazing, keep it up 🖤🖤
This is really great to hear ~ Nathan
Nr 2: I love to travel (on my own), but usually just walk around and find good cafés for thinking, writing, observing and drawing. Adventures, but in control.
INFJ
I go for walks and wander about for that same reason. Sometimes late at night when I can't sleep. It helps exorcise the inner demons and it adds some random spontaneity into things too. It is best when I do it without any real planning. Just go, put on some good music, and wander about to see what you run across. 🚶🏻♀️🕊️🌌🤙
I think the interesting thing about INFJ and ENFJs (i'm an ENFJ) is that with Ni, we are able to deduce as much from what you don't tell us, as with what you tell us. In other words, we can build maps with 'negative space'. If you show me a piece, i can see it's contours and infer what other pieces should fit with it. But also when you fail to give me a piece, i can see the contours of that empty space given your other pieces, and now the LACK of information you've given me, is a new 'piece' in itself.
That's an amazing way of explaining it!
I agree with the other commenter, that’s a great explanation.
And why whould that differ from an INFJs Ni? Just curious at your perspective, no criticism!
@@Patrick-dw4ms i wasn't contrasting infj and enfj, I was suggesting that this is how Ni works generally. I singled out INFJ and ENFJ just because their Ni is probably going to be better refined for 'people logic' than the Ni of the ENTJ and INTJ.
as an INFP with an INFJ mother and INTJ father (both Ni doms), that is very accurate. however, I will say this: the problem with that approach is that the deduction is not always correct or true. at the end of the day, the Ni user must remember that it is only a product (albeit expertly crafted) of their own mind and may not be a true representation of the other person's thoughts/emotions. Hence it is important to always check in with reality and, well, communicate with the other person in order to confirm the accuracy of your assumption. Speaking based on experience here, as I have been misread and misjudged countless times by my parents and when I try to correct their conclusions, they find it hard to believe or accept it as they are too attached to their intuition. Please don't make the same mistake, Ni users.
As an INFJ I'm very tickled when a friend gets me, but almost always it's on the level of my cracked sense of humor. NOT an in-depth understanding.
Almost no one understands the depth of our minds' workings: seeing the past, present and future simultaneously, and contemplating complex, dark issues.
It's just not going to happen.
Yes, being misunderstood is a medium-level problem.
The listener wasn't paying attention, didn't get the innuendo, the insinuation, the big word, the nuance, the hint. Most are stuck sensing things right in front of them.
Predict and pre-empt. Yes!
We know the future because we MAKE the future.
Spontaneity and suddenness are not our game.
And pretend. We assume the demeanor we need to influence someone. We know to "look the part," beguilingly.
And no, we do not "put ourselves in someone's shoes" (cognitive empathy). INFJs BECOME the other person temporarily, absorb their emotions (emotional empathy), a secret power and yet a curse.
Well said and love the icon. Have it on my left shoulder. 🤙
Have you read The Ecstatic Soul by Renaud Contini? I think you might appreciate it.
@@alicejwho
I'll look into it. Thanks!
(INTJ) How do you get on with INTJs? My best friend is INFJ, and we have a strong unspoken understanding of each other, but I annoy him with my social bluntness, and he annoys me with his compromising "doormat" behaviour -- it's as if the world is going to cave in if a situation ever becomes awkward. Ever.
@@johnknight9150 I wanted to mention an INTJ as a candidate for an in-depth bond. My husband is one (I'm the INFJ) and I think no one gets me like he does, not even my INFJ cousin and good friend. Though it wasn't always like this. Learning about MBTI helped us a lot to understand that we are the way we are BECAUSE WE ARE - not because we are being "the annoying quality about the other type that is hard to grasp for the other one".
This is hauntingly accurate. Seriously though, these are problem that definitely bother me a lot. Great video! You always have great insight into infjs.
1) Trying to explain the Ineffable to a bunch of monkeys... D'OH !
2) "Oh, so THAT's what that feels like. Hmm, could've just stayed home..."
3) Accepting having to tolerate.
Nathan, I always appreciate your insight. You are spot on, these questions do haunt me. I have what may be a strange request.
As an INFJ living in a world that very much focuses on how we should aspire to “live in the moment” as much as possible, this causes much conflict when your brain isn’t built that way. I would love a video that is twofold:
1. Suggestions for small ways we INFJs can be more present in the world around us and, more importantly
2. Reassurances / acceptance that our way of living is not wrong (because we hear it on all sides all the time.) I know it’s a big ask but if anyone could do it, I believe you could. Thank you for the depth and humor of your channel, I appreciate it.
Very good ask!
I've done videos in the past about how the different types can improve their weaknesses i.e. their weaker functions. I think it might be a very good move to do what you're suggesting and focus on this particular issue for INFJs though. I will add this video to the list! ~Nathan.
It's never enough to understand because more understanding is always possible, an eternally receding goalpost, making the search for meaning a stand-in for actually living life, making the anticipation of death a paralyzing fascination, and that is haunting.
Wow, this is so accurate! Your explanation of INFJs is always on point. I also really liked the explanation of how we 'compensate' for our Se and Te 'weaknesses'... I really wish there was a clear-cut way to improve Se, though I really try my best to live 'in the moment' (even though I never truly am able to). Setting boundaries is my current focus, though.
Well, there are ways to live in the moment but I don't think I would recommend you try them without a serious disclaimer. 😂😂😂 The way I found to do that was to live with reckless abandon and the chaos makes planning extremely difficult at best. Of course that doesn't last long due to the consequences life will surely provide for you. I found the general chaos to be thrilling but life will punish you pretty quickly under the circumstances. You get the same thing by having your life turned upside down by outside events beyond your control. You have no choice but to react instead of plan everything. Even your best plans end up useless and you are like a leaf blowing in the wind. 😉🤙
The best way I've found to live in the moment is when I'm cycling, but even then I sometimes have to literally shout at myself for going off down rabbit holes in my head, and completely missing parts of my ride because I was unconscious!
I am exceptionally fast now, but that took years of learning from mistakes and a really strong focus on the process of learning and implementing itself. Doing this gave me a lot of tools to leverage our need to create win-win scenarios into if I approach this problem a specific way, I can kill 3 birds with one stone. Or if I explain this concept in a specific way then I'll convince them that while this first part might take longer, it will set the foundation for all the other parts to be muuuch quicker and saving time and money overall.
@@shannon1242 It sounds like you have found an appreciation and a knack for efficiency. I do the same thing sometimes.
Become a server. No joke.
Yes, I'm highly empathetic and always put myself in others' shoes. I can truly understand them and get why they think and behave the way they do. However, these people always hit me with comments like, "You're a pleaser," "You're dishonest," or "I guess you were never honest; it was just flattery."
In my last relationship, my ex told me I wasn't really honest with him and had been flattering him from the start. That was devastating to hear because, as INFJs, we're highly critical of ourselves and others. We're extremely judgmental. My way of loving and caring for people is by understanding them deeply-believing that if someone out there is good to them and truly understands them, they might change for the better.
But guess what? They never change for the better. Instead, their ego grows bigger, and they get worse. Should I have been honest with them from the start? I'm very judgmental, and I don’t think they would have handled it at all. I have words that could cut straight to the heart.
I just wanted to be their safe zone, but instead, I got hit with the "dishonest" card. Maybe I need to pick my people more wisely. I don’t know anymore...
Lovewho, would you consider doing a dedicated video to “are you an INFJ or an INTP?”? It’s a more common mistype than people think! 🙏
You’re right. I used to think I was an INTP
I still get INTP in test results lol
But their functions are totally different
I still can't decide which is hilarious cuz I have been into mbti for 2 years
I am an INTP MBTI and INFJ Grant, it does get very confusing with 50/50 F/T and 50/50 J/P
Agreed, had the same issue when getting into the MBTI, was clearly Ti and INxx, but way more P than J so I dismissed INFJ. Thought I was too F to be INTP and too T to be INFP.
I thought for a while what should I write and whether I should write a comment at all. Certain things read by others may sound pretentious and be taken out of context. Nonetheless, after weighting the pros and cons I thought it smart to go ahead and speak my mind. Being (or having) an INFJ around can be somewhat of a challenge. I was fortunate enough to have a mother who was kinda good at communicating. At the peak of my agoraphobia, she would write questions for me to answer without specifying when, where, how. I tend to think things through in my head and I don’t always need to write everything down (although I am trying to change that about me so I can hopefully continue communicating with my mom through writing despite her absence). She didn’t add any pressure. Which is important when you try to communicating with someone having the cognitive functions of an INFJ. There are things I find difficult to explain to people around me. A lot of the things I do can’t seem to fit in a resume, CV or portfolio… Ghostwriters who volunteer to do such job have the freedom and curse to live a somewhat odd life. On the one hand, they can come and go as they please knowing that they won’t be recognized by others and bombarded by unnecessary attention that takes a significant portion of their time. On the other hand, they do the work that will inevitably be presented by others thus remaining forever in the shadow (and, for some, who dedicate their life to understanding abstractions, receiving no feedback can make them question the reality of their effort that they confuse with their persona).
Decisions (or indecisions) can come back to haunt you casting long shadows behind that trace your steps and add additional self-doubt and blame of the choices previously made. You go back to weighting the options, wondering if you have made the right choices all along, always learning where and how to draw a necessary line, yet struggling to do so because you abhor the limitations that lines set. Adding more knowledge/options/variables to the equation of life that seems impossible to (properly) solve. The more variables you add, the more challenging it seems to get to a final result.
P.S. My personal advice for talking to an INFJ would be - make sure you can understand that the person in front of you can juggle more than one idea at a time and that sometimes those ideas might seem(or be) contradictory.
Ahhhh, number 3! 🤭😳 particularly accurate, for me. Also, i have a real fear of not being understood. Either my point, or the person I'm perceived to be, by others. If someone close to me makes an incorrect assumption about me - when i think they should know me better - it's almost unforgivable!!
Thank you for understanding and putting it so well. I swear i was going crazy before i discovered MB. It's not only understanding myself better that has made a difference to my life, but also understanding others.
bruv you put the exact dilemma into words thank you :0 it's amazing how well intps understand infjs
1. To be or not to be understood... I think this is the best one for me personally. I want to be understood by those in my circle who I am close with but often do things to throw others off and remain unknown to a high degree. Yet I really need to be understood by my woman and wish my friends got me to some extent. I only have a few who I feel really understand me on any kind of deeper level and that is a real sore point for me. Especially at this point in my life.
I also struggle with the difficulties of communicating but have learned to accept it is just the nature of communication between humans and not due to my own imperfections. I am actually pretty good at communicating conceptual ideas and have spent a good bit of time learning how to write better and to broaden my vocabulary and speaking ability too. But there is still a part of me that desires to remain a mystery to most people at most times and this contradiction can be problematic. The question definitely occupies a good bit of my time without a doubt.
2. Am I truly living... This is another good one. I have gone through several phases of my life where I think I have lived very different ways. I was an absolute wildchild for a good while and had no doubt I was truly living then because of the circumstances leading to more reckless spontaneity and less calculated or planned actions by default. However that was something that I had to change by necessity and I became much more the planner and less "alive" in my own view.
I felt like I was doing better in the game of life and was in tune with my inclinations but still couldn't help but notice the void in me. I felt something was missing that I used to enjoy even when it was chaotic and even dangerous. I only seemed to find tht feeling when falling for someone. The longer I lived my life that way the bigger that void would feel and the more hollow I would feel despite the general success.
I have now had my life change dramatically due to bad health problems and that has made me reassess that side of my life completely. I find myself feeling more like when I was younger and much wilder. I want to feel alive like that again and I feel I have identified what I am missing and how to get back to where I want to be without going too far and diving into pure chaos.
3. Accepting or tolerating... This varies but I recognize the issue from time to time. I often feel I am tolerating others rather than truly accepting them but I am not sure what to make of it as a whole. I am pretty accepting too but with some people I just feel I am going against the grain and making myself play the role just to be decent to the other person. It is normally with extreme cases and with people who most would not even tolerate or accept so I am not sure that it is really important.
It is easy for me to accept some things and others I have to tolerate. So I find myself tolerating things I don't like just to be nice to others and make them comfortable at my own expense. This can also end up where I end up parting from them with a hard door slam later as things develop leading me to question why I bothered trying to be accepting or tolerant to begin with when I saw the signs.
I just wanted to say thank you for this video. You always find such meaningful details to say about each type that are not usually on a surface and I feel truly seen when you are talking about INFJs.
His videos are quite good. They tend to be fairly unique and give meaning to the madness. 😂😉
This is just the tip of the iceberg of INFJ overthinking comfort questions
I think about all these daily (lol)
This is so true that it made me a bit uncomfortable...
I tolerate more than accept. I "get" why people do what they do and am understanding, but it means I would use that to gently guide people to where I would prefer them to go, which isn't being accepting.
Thanks for putting all my existential anxieties into words.
Whelp I spent this whole video internally running in terror from the ghosts in my head unsure if I am truly alive or understood? - an INFJ
I'm an infj flying by the seat of my pants, but with my toes just on the ground enough to keep my basic needs met. I am constantly flip flopping back and forth between anxiety over not having a plan, anxiety about not living enough and in thankfully, increasingly frequent moments, basking in life's simple pleasures
Thank you, I am an INFJ and relate to all of this.
Was trying to pinpoint questions that haunt me, and couldn't come up with anything. I think I move forward too easily for any specific thoughts or feelings to actually haunt me. I'm fine with that. The world must be difficult for types that can't help but ruminate.
Lucky you! 😆 I am haunted by some of those very questions from the video. It is inescapable and it hits you when you least expect it and when you would rather not be dealing with it. Like at 3:30 AM or when you are already feeling abused by the world around you and don't want to be trapped inside your own toxic thoughts like that.
The being understood question is the absolute worst for me personally. That is one that hits me almost daily. Especially when dealing with people a lot because of the increased interaction leading to more misunderstanding and more reasons to desire not to be understood at all due to how people are sometimes. I wish there was a pause button sometimes and find that reading or writing is one of the only escapes for me. It channels my mind onto something else until it passes. 😉🤣🤣🤣🕊️🤙
Nathan, couldn't have been more spot on, love you and all your vids! Convinced you're all 16 mbti types (somehow 😂) just through your amazing insight into each of your videos. My whole family is a big fan of you and the channel, all the way from when Lu was running the channel. Love from Pakistan, take care ❤
Creepily accurate. Going through 2 & 3 right now.
UUUUHHHGG! I feel so called out, especially with the last one right now.
100! 😆 Every single point. Thank you for this.
One of mine is did I just predict the future or create a self fulfilling prophecy
Spot on. Honestly, at this point I always have an expectation that you'd nail it every single time.
♫ And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am♫
So beautifully expressed!
UM once again I’m getting read to filth this is so accurate 😭😭😭😭
Brilliant 3:25 minutes! The intricacy of diction is just mind-blowing (as usual ;) ).
You're spot on...that's haunting. How'd you know?
I found out who's jealous. It's the SF.
Guilty on all counts...
#1. Am I understood? Not usually, at all. Do I want to be understood? Only by people who can do it while letting go of the reins of that understanding. Which is to say, if I say I really like red silk dresses and wild romance, this doesn't mean I won't suddenly remember the song 'about putting my old blue jeans on and want a peaceful, easy, friendly day with shy and contemplative romance burning under the friendly feelings as we go on a ride, or that I wouldn't ike a simple bit of banter with a total stranger in a liquor store at 3 a.m. or simply rolling down a grassy hill and telling them stories about my brother. So, it's no good thinking you understand that I am a very classy, sophisticated lady that wants a fine dining experience with a dozen red roses every Saturday Night because I will disappoint you if you think I won't change by next Wednesday, at the latest.
I meant to write less than that.
I want to be understood the way weather wants to be understood. I exist. I do things. Those things change and the way I express myself changes, but it in no way makes me a wholly different entity or a bitingly-mad one, anymore than the whole way weather works should be called into question just because sometimes it is raining and sometimes it isn't.
I have fundamentals that apply, certain facts that are true. Like, I'll do my best for whom I work for and whom I love and which comes first on any given day depends on the degree of need. But, I don't always have the same hobby, love the same color, want to go to eat the same kind of food or dance the same kind of dance, or do the same exercises. Though, you can be fairly certain velvet will entrance me.
This is by way of my agreeing with you that it is a very disturbing question; but I am not sure you understand the depth of the disturbance or exactly why. Also, I have come to realize I am INFJ, after all. It was a long haul but here it is.
It's the velvet.
I tolerate, yes. Accepting.,,no way.
very intriguing and good point questions thonk and do thinky about life to myself in my free time 💭🧐🥚❔(I am: 15 year old INFJ, known I'm infj since 2021)
- and yesterday took test I'm 5w4 tho don't know what that is -
Probably you are too young to decide your type
@@nicoleni7192 That other test you mentioned is the enneagram.
The second point as an INFJ is crazy…
I realized I had a toxic behavior when I was a teen, where anytime I got near perfecting something, I instantly started doing things difficult for me
After that stage of my life I had a lot of changes and depression kicked in with quarantine
And during said depression I was like “why didn’t I take more advantage of my teen years?”
And now that I’m getting over depression and remembering those times, it’s crazy, as an INFJ routine begins to make things methodical and too detailed, and to avoid that feeling of anxious control you just want to make things new again
At this stage of my life I learned that life has enough unexpected things for me to try and add thrill to it lmao
Thank you, good video
Thank you!
The thought n°2 made my heart melt. I immediately started to imagine myself sharing deep conversations, adventure and real life experiences and with an INFJ partner... Being both writers and characters of a swashbuckling novel 💫 ~ ENFP
Seek and ye shall find my friend. A lot of INFJs are single for long spells and we aren't as unapproachable as some would like to believe. Good luck with that and best wishes. 🤙
Thank you ! I keep my fingers crossed 😃
@@Ovale-tt That is all we can ever do. That and hope the fates will grant us that one mercy.
That's incredible !!! I have just seen a falling star in the sky, like the one I posted in my previous message ! It seems like the universe heard my prayer! 💫🤩
In the interest of honesty I wanna say, I like your videos without a music bg better! :D the music is a bit distracting but great video as always!!
Hahaha! Brilliant! As an infj, I do feel that much of my inner life is like a very rich haunting...... And these questions you raise are extremely familiar!!!! Well done, and have you ever divulged which personality type you are?
Sorry, cant get over my INFJ self. I plan all of my adventures. Thats half the fun.
❤ could you do an MBTI analysis of MLK jr pls?
Love this video idea! Would love to see your take on this for the INTP
Excellent
If you are not subscribed, that should haunt you. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Nathan’s send offs are frequently clever.
Is there a button where I can Subscribe Again ?......INFJ-T Here
What is the background music?
You know that you're an INFJ when you overthink, everything, especially when you have the perfect response to a remark... Which occurred several years earlier!
Before I finished reading this I was gonna reply “yeah, 10 years later!” 😂
Interesting. This is not entirely the case for me, but it was so for my mom (who was INFP). Although I have to revise things and perfect them, I do so in order to optimize the process for future purposes.
Bill
a lot of food for thought, truly
thank you
I was not particularly a fan of Nietzche before this, but "Every deep thinker is more afraid of being understood than being misunderstood" just screams "I'm a unique special snowflake" and is also false.
You think people are the same? Human beings have more variability than snowflakes.
You think this statement is screaming "I'm a unique special snowflake" - this is exactly what Neitzche is afraid of - being misunderstood! You've gone ahead and done it my friend! You have made his fear come true, you have misunderstood Neitzche.
Instead of getting triggered and calling names, why don't you think about this statement a while, till you get the really meaning of it. Then you pass your judgement. Good luck!
Close-minded self righteous mockery is a sin I was very guilty of for a long time but it is an incredibly ugly thing to do.
r/whoosh
I can think of a few individuals who don't want to be understood or have their intentions and thoughts to be found out. The kinds of people who say one thing and do another.
wow
Hablas muy rápido y yo tengo que reducir la velocidad a 0.5 😢 y lo traduzco al español 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Being an INFJ is a suffering ......
👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
👏👏👏💐
Crap
INFJs are so emo, geez. I'm ISFP, and lead with _literal Introverted Feeling,_ and I'm not as emo as INFJs. 🙄
Must be really nice to have Fi as a dominant function and Se as auxiliary…
@Siansonea Orande I'm not so emo either, yet test as INFJ. Also, much differs between males and females of all types.
How sure are you that the people you know are really INFJs? The sensitivity of this type doesn’t refer to emotions but synaptic connections. Just fyi, Ni as a dominant function refers to ideas and abstract thinking. Fe is about showing more of a team spirit energy (so to speak).
@@solarisan_ just ignore her, for some reason she looks for any reason to pounce on INFJs. Like a personal competition between her and INFJs. It's actually a bit weird.
Hello My fellow rebellious outcast 👋
-from an Infp
Hate to break it to you INFJs, but you've been bumlred to #3 in rarity. You're not rare anymore according to latest stats
🎉I think that's a good thing! I don't want to be rare, I want to be understood.
@@rhambosia1 this 🥲
Statistic optimizes results not the process and veracity of such results. Doubting things and questioning might be a good starting point. May lead us to answering why certain types would be less common ?
We were never really proud of that fact. Is your MBTI rare now? Are you happy? 😊
Who cares anyway?