Executive dysfunction is a bitch. Finding out that autism gives you a 70% chance of also having ADHD and being misdiagnosed is a real kicker. It helped a lot finding that out
seeing this fresh out of a breakup and after missing almost 3 weeks of collage classes while trying to get my shit together to be somewhat productive is refreshing, thanks for helping me not feel so alone.
Oh, you did the making yourself enotional thing too! Though my method of getting myself to work was to make myself scared and stressed out instead of angry. It worked well enough for me to have pretty consistent grades but when I went to uni it all came crashing down. The amount of stress that I put myself under just to get things done not only ruined my mental health but made me physically ill as well. My grades suddenly became wildly inconsistent. I managed to get diagnosed and start meds halfway through but still got to the point where I was literally unable to do basic chores and self care. Luckily I was able to continue from home. Of course, the ongoing health effects of all that have been depression and chronic fatigue, which has undone any progress towards getting people around me to stop thinking I'm just lazy... but I absolutely refuse to use that technique again. The most difficult thing about all this has been learning when to be harsh on myself and when to forgive myself. Because things only get better when I do both, and usually in the opposite way to what comes naturally!
Ironically, reading "webfishing" in the title may have been a great help for me just now. Internet addiction is something that's been troubling me lately, but only because I know it isn't an addiction to the internet as a whole - if it were, I'd do much more productive research -but I know it's more than just an addiction to entertainment and browsing. Entertainment can be wholesome and browsing can be enlightening, but internet addiction goes beyond that. "Webfishing" is a perfect term to represent that dopaminergic search for notifications and new stimuli. I thought this video would be something in that context, but I'm not disappointed. You're a good speaker, and it was interesting to hear your story. I could certainly relate to many parts - especially your hatred of tedious problems. I still feel that way about paperwork. I just want to get it done as soon as possible, which isn't always something I can do.
I relate to this so deeply, I'm 32 and waiting on an assessment. I realized a few years ago that I very likely have ADHD. I relate to having to be in a terribly frustrated and exhausted mental state to even get things done.
Hey man! just wanted to say thanks for making this, the ending got me pretty bad not gonna lie. Also, I related so hard to the minecraft story, I would wake up before school every morning to grind out maplestory back when I was a kid, I'd make notes and maps and was soooo focused, but then in school I would be so stressed from assignments, I would eventually just give up. My "you're just lazy" feeling came from always being able to ace tests, but having a hard time turning homework in on time. "If you just applied yourself you'd be such a good student." bleh. Also the 'stuck' feeling you mention about not being able to enjoy things because of the looming stress is so real. My therapist compared the feeling to an ostrich who dunks their head in the sand, it can be soothing to hide, but if you want the stress to leave for good, eventually you will have to face it. Anywho, I'm glad you aren't letting this cripple you and you're getting back out there :) good luck!!
I rarely ever drop comments on videos but the title added in with the fact that this is a webfishing video just really felt like the internet was watching me LOL. I'm in college too. I've been neglecting and struggling with school work because i'm already so behind on everything that i know i'm not gonna do well, so my brain just avoids it at all costs because it feels like there's no reward to trying. Among this period was also when I picked up Webfishing and in the last 2 weeks I've clocked 170+ hours. So I'd say it's been really hard for me to face reality and I'm consistently pushing my work back to do things that offer me more dopamine in the moment. People around me would ask why I'm on the game so much and honestly I didn't have a proper coherent answer until watching your video, which made me realize a lot of things-- that I do want a change in my life style and I might not be able to do it alone. So thank you for making this and i'm wishing you the best. I look forward to seeing more from you!
I feel the same, never can I get a thing done, even if I want it. Unless I really feel interested in the subject, I just can't do it. It's so hard for me to get anything done. I haven't been tested on ADHD, but I have had suspicions in the past. Thank you for sharing your story, thank you.
Even at 31, many years after high school and dropping out of college, it means a lot to hear this. To know maybe I'm not alone and can succeed even at this point. Maybe I'm already successful and not giving myself enough credit, who knows. But what I do know is that I'm really trying. I've made it this far.
wow, youtube really clocked me with this recommendation LOL but seriously, thank you for sharing your experiences. i'm in college now and i have struggled with focusing on school my whole life. it's only really starting to bite me in the ass recently, because college work takes a lot more time and effort than any schoolwork i've had to do previously. i feel horrible about myself sometimes. it's not that i don't WANT to get schoolwork done, it's that i just CAN'T do it. i've spent full days laying in bed, completely drained and emotionally exhausted from trying to just force myself to get my work done, even if it's only one stupid small task. and i've spent so many years feeling like i was lazy or broken. it was only recently that i realized that other people are going through this too. i scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist (after many, many months of procrastinating) and i'm hoping they can give me a bit more insight on what's going on, whether it's ADHD or something else. i can't shake the worry that they're just going to tell me that there's nothing wrong with me, and i'm actually just lazy lmao. but this video was reassuring, your experiences almost perfectly mirror mine. thank you for this video and i hope we can both find a way to push past this. i'm just exhausted at this point lol. hope to see more videos from you!
@@tttrrreeennnttt i ended up getting diagnosed, so i'm not entirely sure what you're trying to get at. it's not that i can NEVER focus, it's that attention and concentration deficit has been a prevalent issue in my life for years, to a point that it hinders my life. i do appreciate this comment though, as it's a good example of a widespread misunderstanding surrounding the disorder
Fellow neurodivergent (AuDHD) that dropped out on second college semester here (i'm seeing a lot of the other comments have done the same thing around that time as well). I relate to just about everything that you said in this video, maybe too much. The worst part for me about the getting myself angry **just** to finish my schoolwork no matter how big or small part of the video, was the fact that I had to stay angry to consistently get my work done. You can imagine the emotional turmoil I suffered after dropping out. I've thought about potentially going back to school and maybe this time getting back on medication, but it feels as though there's a plethora of things I need to sort through before I enroll again. This downward spiral we all fall into is not for the weak. Here's to hoping that all of us here find completeness in our well-being.
What an absolute banger of a closing line!! Literal chills. I resonate with a lot of this, and especially the bit about feeling bitter towards those with ADHD whose struggles didn’t reflect in their grades. I feel like undiagnosed disabled and disordered students generally fall into two pipelines - the “gifted kid” pipeline, and the “special education (and otherwise needing extra help)” pipeline. And I feel like it’s easy for those on both sides to resent the other. Generally speaking, gifted kids resent that the special education kids are having their differences acknowledged - their differences are visible. But special education kids resent that gifted kids get to be “normal” - their differences are invisible. I think that everyone would benefit a lot if we all realized that neither hypervisibility nor invisibility is a privilege. The school system fails both disabled/disordered gifted kids and special ed kids - we are comrades, not enemies. Sorry for the ramble, haha! I just found the topic interesting. This is a great video, and I’m a big fan of your voice! Keep it up!
Thanks so much! I totally understand what you’re saying to it’s interesting what you said about the pipelines I hadn’t even put that much thought into it except for the one side obviously.
OH MY GOOOODDDDD THIS IS SO REALLLLLLLLL im in 10th and ive known ive had adhd since like kindergarten but still just yeah ig especially in 10th, work just feels so impossible to get done, but yeah then ill get hyper focused making music on fl studio and all the organization stategies im taught i use when its something i enjoy like composing, or games, or just anything i enjoy and just yeah ive been feeling like im lazy recently because i just dont do my work, but it feels like im constantly at my limit, at 0% and its so frustrating when people around me tell me like “i know you can do better” or “just sit down and get it done” and then assign more work and its all pilling up and im always behind its a constant race putting all my energy into school and with all that i just barely get enough done to get As-Cs and just i usually never got Cs so i feel like a failure and ik thats stupid and true but just my whole life i was told i was smart and that im gonna have good grades and that ill get into a good collage and it became my standard too after so long of people telling me that so then when im failing to live up to that, when i feel like that whole path to life is getting cut away it just feels so awful and just i feel so trapped because it feels like whatever i do theres no way out, any path i take will lead to disaster and just it feels like any cries for help are just ignored and all im told is “life isnt all fun and games, just try harder” it just feels so dismissive and just im so exhausted from trying im so tired of always being at 0%, i never really get to enjoy the things i love because yeah like either im trying to work, or the looming stress is just always there. im so exhausted and like all my efforts never pay off it just feels like theres no way out djdjeiekdjdjicidisksmjcirieosososowkdjcjcjcnrjeiwkwmdmcjdisiwieiiieikejedjnfhfurus
Even if this video ends up getting privated, hearing this kinda stuff means a lot to me right now. I've started my first year of college, and it's something I really want to do, and it was a real struggle for me to get in. Even though I made it, and this is probably the best time I've had with schoolwork, I still find myself struggling to get myself to do my work. I stress myself out over it, and every time I don't meet a deadline, it feels like the end of the world. Because of the stress I cause myself, I can't get myself to do anything else either, even things I enjoy. I've been diagnosed with ADHD since elementary school, but it was never treated as a big deal or a roadblock. I didn't even know I was already diagnosed until I started really struggling with schoolwork in highschool, and even since, it has been brushed off by my parents. But since starting college, I've been trying my best and I hope things get better for me in terms of managing. Thank you for making this video.
Just dropping a comment here to say thanks for this video! As someone in the same situation the hardest part is dealing with the fact everyone just assumes it comes down to laziness or lack of effort, when its completely the opposite. I remember once in high school I had an outline assignment that took me about 45 minutes to do, but I hated them and this one night I just couldn't do it. I sat myself down alone at my table with my textbook and paper, and just sat there for somewhere between 2-3 hours before I fell asleep from exhaustion. I remember feeling so dumb especially around the 1 hour mark because I knew that if I had just started when I sat down, I would be done by now and not still sitting here trying to get myself to start. As you said things have gotten better and worse over time and it has been a difficult journey, but I am currently one month away from graduating college as long as I pass my remaining 5 classes. I'm very excited to hopefully finally be able to move on to work I enjoy and things I can actually convince myself to put time and effort into. Thanks again for the video and best of luck to you!
thanks for making this video. im honestly not sure if i have adhd or not, but this genuinely cheered me up a bit. school has always stressed me out and most of the time i procrastinate to the point i just force myself to put anything onto paper just so i could at least show im trying. idk really what im trying to say in this comment, but i really appreciate this video. thanks a lot, and i hope the adhd medication/therapy works well for you!!
Found this while up at midnight while working on homework, and I feel pretty similarly. I struggle to focus on my homework, and I only get it done out of spite and frustration. It's especially bad right now with finals so close, that I'm losing sleep over it. It especially sucks to see my friends working on things they're genuinely passionate about, and realizing that I won't get that opportunity until the weekends, if I'm even motivated enough to do anything but de-stress by then. I'd better write my actual essay now.
I dropped out of college during my second semester. In hindsight I probably have ADHD. Many people have told they thought I already knew I had it. Listening to this was like listening to a recording of my own thoughts. Spooky. I hope you have a good time in college, truly. Maybe I'll go back one day
I literally broke down crying today because I can genuinely never get anything done. Im almost in my 2nd semester of college, and I've completely given up. I can't even focus on hobbys either, it feels comforting that I might not be an idiot and someone else feels the same as me, if only a little.
100% relate to your situation man, school work can be a lot its taken way too much of our time. My performance in school is always as you said consistently inconsistent and it keeps on fluctuating but i try my best to work through it. The laziness is real and the pressure to do the work is just too much but in general life wont stop giving us these problems so its up to us to find a way to get past them, i wish you the best and look forward to more content like this!
Hi AdiPatch I can really relate with your experience. I've always HATED school, but loved learning. My mom says she has ADHD but likes to tell me how easy school has always been for her, while also implying it should be nothing for me because I'm "smart" even if I might be nurodivergent. My grades are slipping. I hope that you find the support in therapy that you want, and that the medication goes well.
bro, its a process! always refining what works best for you. I've known I had ADHD my whole life and I'm about to finish my undergrad and am still getting better! keep going, all that matters is that you care about getting better!
By luck of the draw I was recommended this video, and am currently feeling almost the exact same way haha. My lack of performance in school (thanks to ADHD and possible Autism) gave me esteem issues that last to this day and compounded with the pressure of my parents being educators themselves it has made school wildly emotionally exhausting for pretty much my entire life. I totally feel the same way with the "laziness" bit you mentioned, where I've begun to realize that maybe I'm too hard on myself and that it's more struggling than being lazy 😅. Shit's a little fucked for us ahders out there but there's always hope in community and within our support groups (hopefully). Great video man, love how down to earth it felt :)
Thank you for making this video. I am not in school anymore, I couldnt handle the weight and sometimes I am ashamed I couldnt finish college the first go around. But nonetheless, I am so all over the place all the time even when I am putting my everything into what I do, and sometimes that makes me feel like a failure. But knowing I'm not alone in this feeling makes it a little easier. P.s. love the Omori music in the background. Almost started crying when Good Morning turned on.
I am watching this after just dropping out of college for the same reasons. I have been so emotionally drained and have been looking for a reason why for so many years. I was diagnosed with adhd in middle school, but i didn't think it could ever be "this extreme" because my friends with adhd are all straight A students. They could all talk to me and get work done, while i would just be completely lost and drained, every single day without fail. This helps me feel so much better that im not just a failure or lazy because that is why i inevitably dropped out about a month ago. My family just keeps pushing me saying "life is hard and sucks for everyone" and the iconic "your just not applying yourself" which... is not helping 😭 but it is so crazy to hear i am not alone in this scenario that i thought was literally just me. thank you :) i believe you can get through this, hopefully your new medication is able to help! I am starting new meds soon too.
Watching this video on a mental health day afther having a panic attack over schoolwork hits home. In the long process of getting a diagnosis, only afther my little sister's high school councilor said that she might have it. Thank you for making this video, it's nice to know. I hope everybody has a great day :)
I have ADD. I'm a senior in high school and so far my grades have been great, A's and B's for as long as I've been in school. But I've hardly ever tried. Unless it's a class I'm genuinely interested in my mind is often elsewhere. Yet despite this when assignments and tests come around I can complete them with little to no difficulty. I am thankful that I'm naturally smart enough to just go through classes without difficulty but it has led to me being complacent about school work or any work in general. Whenever I have an essay to write or need to study for a test I always do it last minute, which so far has worked fine for me but I know when I go to college that won't work. It's not just schoolwork I procrastinate either, I know I need to be on the hunt for scholarships and write my college application but I've only found a few scholarships due to the badgering of my parents and my college application is due the end of this month and I haven't even started it yet. It's not like I'm unable to work I just always find an excuse to not do it, and then when I know the deadline is close enough that I won't feasibly get it done if I don't start now that's when I'll finally actually work on it because at that point I can't make excuses if I actually want to get this stuff done. This is the lesser of my worries though because I have also struggled with finding friends and feeling lonely. It just never really seemed worth it to try to make friends with anyone at my school because there didn't seem to be that many similarities shared between me and my classmates. I didn't even feel lonely at all at the time since I was cool with just playing games by myself when not at home, at the time I didn't really know what I was missing out on. Then about three months ago now I finally did make a friend. Not anyone from my school or anyone I know irl, I only knew them through online communication but I didn't really care too much that it was just online. It's not like we just talked about games or anything mostly about just school and life stuff, and sometimes conversations would get pretty emotional. However this faded fast, we're still friends of course but we never really hang out anymore and besides just asking how they're doing a few times a day we don't really talk much either. Perhaps it just felt more intense at the beginning because it was my first time having a friend. That's when I started to feel lonely. So far all I've really done to fix it is to try to find someone else who can be friends with me like that long term. So far I hadn't really had success as none of them simply put much effort into maintaining communication leading to no real conversations. But recently I found someone that was what I was looking for and so far they seem to really enjoy talking to me as well and we hang out often so I'm hoping this will last.
just wanted to say thank you for making this video. you put into words a lot of what i've been feeling for a long time, and its really nice to know that others have gone through something similar and that it does get better. good luck with the rest of your journey, and I hope college goes well for you!
How are you so articulate about your feelings, even though were not in the same situation with adhd i can relate to what you are feeling. also webfishing is the perfect game for this. good luck with college
I really enjoyed this video, I can really relate with you and it made me really happy that this video popped up in my recommended :} You should definitely keep it up! :D
@@AdiPatch Seeing this kinda inspires me to post myself :3 I love this style of video so much, and it reminds me that I don't need a friend group or anything to start posting
@@Kyubo_toast oh 100% you should go for it! I used to make a few Minecraft videos with a lot of editing but I privated them because that’s kinda editing is just too much and it wasn’t personal enough.
just starting the video, im an autistic 15 year old and I like these kinda videos. edit: this is a really nice and sweet video, like a hug or a handshake, sharing your own expeeriences and it doing what you inteded it to do, bring some comfort.
My 3rd of uni and it has been a living hell. I don't want to continue, but if I drop out I disappoint everyone ( like i haven't already), and its not like I have job opportunity or anything if I drop out - I have nothing. So I've started applying for a different college, but that's probably just cope that's not going to work out. I'm just lost with no idea what to do.
Oooooughhh mood... I flunked out of college super hard w the classic adhd crash and burn. Trying not to feel like my life is over before it even ever started and figure out something for myself. What i want in life, if i want to persue art or choose a more stableish job. And im pretty depressed because of like. Constantly feeling like I'm not enough, that I'm lazy, a failure, a disgrace. A waste of time and resources and effort, a weight that my loved ones must drag behind them because if all my peers who are also not okay can still succeed or atleast keep going but i just. Falter. What does that say about me? Its a lot to wade through, along with the other things that haunt me, but maybe one day ill be okay.
brother i have adhd. my diagnoses describes it as moderate to severe so use that as you will if it means its easier for you to relate your experience to what i am about to say. i have been on many many different adhd meds and they atleast for me improve my life alot but i did have to go through loads of different types before finding one that fit. i live in scotland so that is free for me but i assume youre american so i hope however overpriced meds are over there dont stop you finding the right one lol. your situation is also uncannily similar to mine so i hope they help you as much as they do for me. i know youre probably very aware adhd meds dont completely cure it but please dont have the attitude that its making you you more normal. adhd IS normal brother its abnormal that life as we know it requires a huge percentage of us to require a weak form of speed to even semi fit into it. try realise we arent broken and it is the world and it is okay we have struggled in it. im not meaning to preach here its just what id have wanted to know when starting meds and sorry if you knew all of this already lol. i hope it all goes well.
No honestly hearing that I there’s more people who relate to my experience more than just being unable to focus is extremely uplifting for me. I live in Canada and my college will cover some of the medication or at least enough that it would cost me anything to try different meds. I will continue my search with meds and knowing that sometimes it just does take a while with people is nice to know as well. Thank you so much for writing this out I appreciate it so much.
I have never been diagnosed with ADHD but I have struggled with the same issue a very long time. I recently started to use nicotine pouches when for when I do homework and such and it is working pretty well. I actually end up finding the things I am reading or working on intriguing enough to stay mostly attentive. Not necessarily recommending it though…
watching this at 5 am before going to sleep after class is probably a sign
are you me im in that exact situation
1am here but I won't be long before 4 hours feels like 10 minutes
Executive dysfunction is a bitch. Finding out that autism gives you a 70% chance of also having ADHD and being misdiagnosed is a real kicker. It helped a lot finding that out
seeing this fresh out of a breakup and after missing almost 3 weeks of collage classes while trying to get my shit together to be somewhat productive is refreshing, thanks for helping me not feel so alone.
hoping for the best for you man. take care💗
Oh, you did the making yourself enotional thing too! Though my method of getting myself to work was to make myself scared and stressed out instead of angry.
It worked well enough for me to have pretty consistent grades but when I went to uni it all came crashing down. The amount of stress that I put myself under just to get things done not only ruined my mental health but made me physically ill as well. My grades suddenly became wildly inconsistent. I managed to get diagnosed and start meds halfway through but still got to the point where I was literally unable to do basic chores and self care. Luckily I was able to continue from home.
Of course, the ongoing health effects of all that have been depression and chronic fatigue, which has undone any progress towards getting people around me to stop thinking I'm just lazy... but I absolutely refuse to use that technique again.
The most difficult thing about all this has been learning when to be harsh on myself and when to forgive myself. Because things only get better when I do both, and usually in the opposite way to what comes naturally!
Ironically, reading "webfishing" in the title may have been a great help for me just now. Internet addiction is something that's been troubling me lately, but only because I know it isn't an addiction to the internet as a whole - if it were, I'd do much more productive research -but I know it's more than just an addiction to entertainment and browsing. Entertainment can be wholesome and browsing can be enlightening, but internet addiction goes beyond that. "Webfishing" is a perfect term to represent that dopaminergic search for notifications and new stimuli.
I thought this video would be something in that context, but I'm not disappointed. You're a good speaker, and it was interesting to hear your story. I could certainly relate to many parts - especially your hatred of tedious problems. I still feel that way about paperwork. I just want to get it done as soon as possible, which isn't always something I can do.
I relate to this so deeply, I'm 32 and waiting on an assessment. I realized a few years ago that I very likely have ADHD. I relate to having to be in a terribly frustrated and exhausted mental state to even get things done.
Hey man! just wanted to say thanks for making this, the ending got me pretty bad not gonna lie. Also, I related so hard to the minecraft story, I would wake up before school every morning to grind out maplestory back when I was a kid, I'd make notes and maps and was soooo focused, but then in school I would be so stressed from assignments, I would eventually just give up. My "you're just lazy" feeling came from always being able to ace tests, but having a hard time turning homework in on time. "If you just applied yourself you'd be such a good student." bleh. Also the 'stuck' feeling you mention about not being able to enjoy things because of the looming stress is so real. My therapist compared the feeling to an ostrich who dunks their head in the sand, it can be soothing to hide, but if you want the stress to leave for good, eventually you will have to face it. Anywho, I'm glad you aren't letting this cripple you and you're getting back out there :) good luck!!
I rarely ever drop comments on videos but the title added in with the fact that this is a webfishing video just really felt like the internet was watching me LOL. I'm in college too. I've been neglecting and struggling with school work because i'm already so behind on everything that i know i'm not gonna do well, so my brain just avoids it at all costs because it feels like there's no reward to trying. Among this period was also when I picked up Webfishing and in the last 2 weeks I've clocked 170+ hours. So I'd say it's been really hard for me to face reality and I'm consistently pushing my work back to do things that offer me more dopamine in the moment. People around me would ask why I'm on the game so much and honestly I didn't have a proper coherent answer until watching your video, which made me realize a lot of things-- that I do want a change in my life style and I might not be able to do it alone. So thank you for making this and i'm wishing you the best. I look forward to seeing more from you!
I feel the same, never can I get a thing done, even if I want it. Unless I really feel interested in the subject, I just can't do it. It's so hard for me to get anything done. I haven't been tested on ADHD, but I have had suspicions in the past. Thank you for sharing your story, thank you.
Even at 31, many years after high school and dropping out of college, it means a lot to hear this. To know maybe I'm not alone and can succeed even at this point. Maybe I'm already successful and not giving myself enough credit, who knows. But what I do know is that I'm really trying. I've made it this far.
wow, youtube really clocked me with this recommendation LOL
but seriously, thank you for sharing your experiences. i'm in college now and i have struggled with focusing on school my whole life. it's only really starting to bite me in the ass recently, because college work takes a lot more time and effort than any schoolwork i've had to do previously. i feel horrible about myself sometimes. it's not that i don't WANT to get schoolwork done, it's that i just CAN'T do it. i've spent full days laying in bed, completely drained and emotionally exhausted from trying to just force myself to get my work done, even if it's only one stupid small task. and i've spent so many years feeling like i was lazy or broken.
it was only recently that i realized that other people are going through this too. i scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist (after many, many months of procrastinating) and i'm hoping they can give me a bit more insight on what's going on, whether it's ADHD or something else. i can't shake the worry that they're just going to tell me that there's nothing wrong with me, and i'm actually just lazy lmao. but this video was reassuring, your experiences almost perfectly mirror mine.
thank you for this video and i hope we can both find a way to push past this. i'm just exhausted at this point lol. hope to see more videos from you!
It totally sounds like you have Adhd and I wish you the best luck with your diagnosis! Thanks for the kind words!
can type this entire reply to a random yt video but "can't focus", yeah ok. sounds like selective attention
@@tttrrreeennnttt i ended up getting diagnosed, so i'm not entirely sure what you're trying to get at.
it's not that i can NEVER focus, it's that attention and concentration deficit has been a prevalent issue in my life for years, to a point that it hinders my life. i do appreciate this comment though, as it's a good example of a widespread misunderstanding surrounding the disorder
Fellow neurodivergent (AuDHD) that dropped out on second college semester here (i'm seeing a lot of the other comments have done the same thing around that time as well). I relate to just about everything that you said in this video, maybe too much. The worst part for me about the getting myself angry **just** to finish my schoolwork no matter how big or small part of the video, was the fact that I had to stay angry to consistently get my work done. You can imagine the emotional turmoil I suffered after dropping out.
I've thought about potentially going back to school and maybe this time getting back on medication, but it feels as though there's a plethora of things I need to sort through before I enroll again. This downward spiral we all fall into is not for the weak. Here's to hoping that all of us here find completeness in our well-being.
What an absolute banger of a closing line!! Literal chills.
I resonate with a lot of this, and especially the bit about feeling bitter towards those with ADHD whose struggles didn’t reflect in their grades. I feel like undiagnosed disabled and disordered students generally fall into two pipelines - the “gifted kid” pipeline, and the “special education (and otherwise needing extra help)” pipeline. And I feel like it’s easy for those on both sides to resent the other. Generally speaking, gifted kids resent that the special education kids are having their differences acknowledged - their differences are visible. But special education kids resent that gifted kids get to be “normal” - their differences are invisible.
I think that everyone would benefit a lot if we all realized that neither hypervisibility nor invisibility is a privilege. The school system fails both disabled/disordered gifted kids and special ed kids - we are comrades, not enemies.
Sorry for the ramble, haha! I just found the topic interesting. This is a great video, and I’m a big fan of your voice! Keep it up!
Thanks so much! I totally understand what you’re saying to it’s interesting what you said about the pipelines I hadn’t even put that much thought into it except for the one side obviously.
OH MY GOOOODDDDD THIS IS SO REALLLLLLLLL im in 10th and ive known ive had adhd since like kindergarten but still just yeah ig especially in 10th, work just feels so impossible to get done, but yeah then ill get hyper focused making music on fl studio and all the organization stategies im taught i use when its something i enjoy like composing, or games, or just anything i enjoy and just yeah ive been feeling like im lazy recently because i just dont do my work, but it feels like im constantly at my limit, at 0% and its so frustrating when people around me tell me like “i know you can do better” or “just sit down and get it done” and then assign more work and its all pilling up and im always behind its a constant race putting all my energy into school and with all that i just barely get enough done to get As-Cs and just i usually never got Cs so i feel like a failure and ik thats stupid and true but just my whole life i was told i was smart and that im gonna have good grades and that ill get into a good collage and it became my standard too after so long of people telling me that so then when im failing to live up to that, when i feel like that whole path to life is getting cut away it just feels so awful and just i feel so trapped because it feels like whatever i do theres no way out, any path i take will lead to disaster and just it feels like any cries for help are just ignored and all im told is “life isnt all fun and games, just try harder” it just feels so dismissive and just im so exhausted from trying im so tired of always being at 0%, i never really get to enjoy the things i love because yeah like either im trying to work, or the looming stress is just always there. im so exhausted and like all my efforts never pay off it just feels like theres no way out djdjeiekdjdjicidisksmjcirieosososowkdjcjcjcnrjeiwkwmdmcjdisiwieiiieikejedjnfhfurus
Even if this video ends up getting privated, hearing this kinda stuff means a lot to me right now. I've started my first year of college, and it's something I really want to do, and it was a real struggle for me to get in. Even though I made it, and this is probably the best time I've had with schoolwork, I still find myself struggling to get myself to do my work. I stress myself out over it, and every time I don't meet a deadline, it feels like the end of the world. Because of the stress I cause myself, I can't get myself to do anything else either, even things I enjoy. I've been diagnosed with ADHD since elementary school, but it was never treated as a big deal or a roadblock. I didn't even know I was already diagnosed until I started really struggling with schoolwork in highschool, and even since, it has been brushed off by my parents. But since starting college, I've been trying my best and I hope things get better for me in terms of managing. Thank you for making this video.
Just dropping a comment here to say thanks for this video! As someone in the same situation the hardest part is dealing with the fact everyone just assumes it comes down to laziness or lack of effort, when its completely the opposite. I remember once in high school I had an outline assignment that took me about 45 minutes to do, but I hated them and this one night I just couldn't do it. I sat myself down alone at my table with my textbook and paper, and just sat there for somewhere between 2-3 hours before I fell asleep from exhaustion. I remember feeling so dumb especially around the 1 hour mark because I knew that if I had just started when I sat down, I would be done by now and not still sitting here trying to get myself to start. As you said things have gotten better and worse over time and it has been a difficult journey, but I am currently one month away from graduating college as long as I pass my remaining 5 classes. I'm very excited to hopefully finally be able to move on to work I enjoy and things I can actually convince myself to put time and effort into. Thanks again for the video and best of luck to you!
thanks for making this video. im honestly not sure if i have adhd or not, but this genuinely cheered me up a bit. school has always stressed me out and most of the time i procrastinate to the point i just force myself to put anything onto paper just so i could at least show im trying. idk really what im trying to say in this comment, but i really appreciate this video. thanks a lot, and i hope the adhd medication/therapy works well for you!!
Found this while up at midnight while working on homework, and I feel pretty similarly. I struggle to focus on my homework, and I only get it done out of spite and frustration. It's especially bad right now with finals so close, that I'm losing sleep over it. It especially sucks to see my friends working on things they're genuinely passionate about, and realizing that I won't get that opportunity until the weekends, if I'm even motivated enough to do anything but de-stress by then.
I'd better write my actual essay now.
As someone who has ADHD this is so real and it’s still really hard as a senior in high school
I dropped out of college during my second semester. In hindsight I probably have ADHD. Many people have told they thought I already knew I had it. Listening to this was like listening to a recording of my own thoughts. Spooky. I hope you have a good time in college, truly. Maybe I'll go back one day
I literally broke down crying today because I can genuinely never get anything done. Im almost in my 2nd semester of college, and I've completely given up. I can't even focus on hobbys either, it feels comforting that I might not be an idiot and someone else feels the same as me, if only a little.
100% relate to your situation man, school work can be a lot its taken way too much of our time. My performance in school is always as you said consistently inconsistent and it keeps on fluctuating but i try my best to work through it. The laziness is real and the pressure to do the work is just too much but in general life wont stop giving us these problems so its up to us to find a way to get past them, i wish you the best and look forward to more content like this!
Hi AdiPatch
I can really relate with your experience. I've always HATED school, but loved learning. My mom says she has ADHD but likes to tell me how easy school has always been for her, while also implying it should be nothing for me because I'm "smart" even if I might be nurodivergent. My grades are slipping.
I hope that you find the support in therapy that you want, and that the medication goes well.
bro, its a process! always refining what works best for you. I've known I had ADHD my whole life and I'm about to finish my undergrad and am still getting better! keep going, all that matters is that you care about getting better!
By luck of the draw I was recommended this video, and am currently feeling almost the exact same way haha. My lack of performance in school (thanks to ADHD and possible Autism) gave me esteem issues that last to this day and compounded with the pressure of my parents being educators themselves it has made school wildly emotionally exhausting for pretty much my entire life. I totally feel the same way with the "laziness" bit you mentioned, where I've begun to realize that maybe I'm too hard on myself and that it's more struggling than being lazy 😅. Shit's a little fucked for us ahders out there but there's always hope in community and within our support groups (hopefully). Great video man, love how down to earth it felt :)
Thanks so much! It really does seem like there's more and more support surrounding Adhd and neurodivergence as a whole.
@@AdiPatch Np!! Also oh man it's genuinely great that that's been happening, it really does warm my heart in a way
Thank you for making this video. I am not in school anymore, I couldnt handle the weight and sometimes I am ashamed I couldnt finish college the first go around. But nonetheless, I am so all over the place all the time even when I am putting my everything into what I do, and sometimes that makes me feel like a failure. But knowing I'm not alone in this feeling makes it a little easier.
P.s. love the Omori music in the background. Almost started crying when Good Morning turned on.
I am watching this after just dropping out of college for the same reasons. I have been so emotionally drained and have been looking for a reason why for so many years. I was diagnosed with adhd in middle school, but i didn't think it could ever be "this extreme" because my friends with adhd are all straight A students. They could all talk to me and get work done, while i would just be completely lost and drained, every single day without fail. This helps me feel so much better that im not just a failure or lazy because that is why i inevitably dropped out about a month ago. My family just keeps pushing me saying "life is hard and sucks for everyone" and the iconic "your just not applying yourself" which... is not helping 😭 but it is so crazy to hear i am not alone in this scenario that i thought was literally just me. thank you :) i believe you can get through this, hopefully your new medication is able to help! I am starting new meds soon too.
Watching this video on a mental health day afther having a panic attack over schoolwork hits home. In the long process of getting a diagnosis, only afther my little sister's high school councilor said that she might have it. Thank you for making this video, it's nice to know. I hope everybody has a great day :)
I have ADD. I'm a senior in high school and so far my grades have been great, A's and B's for as long as I've been in school. But I've hardly ever tried. Unless it's a class I'm genuinely interested in my mind is often elsewhere. Yet despite this when assignments and tests come around I can complete them with little to no difficulty. I am thankful that I'm naturally smart enough to just go through classes without difficulty but it has led to me being complacent about school work or any work in general. Whenever I have an essay to write or need to study for a test I always do it last minute, which so far has worked fine for me but I know when I go to college that won't work. It's not just schoolwork I procrastinate either, I know I need to be on the hunt for scholarships and write my college application but I've only found a few scholarships due to the badgering of my parents and my college application is due the end of this month and I haven't even started it yet. It's not like I'm unable to work I just always find an excuse to not do it, and then when I know the deadline is close enough that I won't feasibly get it done if I don't start now that's when I'll finally actually work on it because at that point I can't make excuses if I actually want to get this stuff done. This is the lesser of my worries though because I have also struggled with finding friends and feeling lonely. It just never really seemed worth it to try to make friends with anyone at my school because there didn't seem to be that many similarities shared between me and my classmates. I didn't even feel lonely at all at the time since I was cool with just playing games by myself when not at home, at the time I didn't really know what I was missing out on. Then about three months ago now I finally did make a friend. Not anyone from my school or anyone I know irl, I only knew them through online communication but I didn't really care too much that it was just online. It's not like we just talked about games or anything mostly about just school and life stuff, and sometimes conversations would get pretty emotional. However this faded fast, we're still friends of course but we never really hang out anymore and besides just asking how they're doing a few times a day we don't really talk much either. Perhaps it just felt more intense at the beginning because it was my first time having a friend. That's when I started to feel lonely. So far all I've really done to fix it is to try to find someone else who can be friends with me like that long term. So far I hadn't really had success as none of them simply put much effort into maintaining communication leading to no real conversations. But recently I found someone that was what I was looking for and so far they seem to really enjoy talking to me as well and we hang out often so I'm hoping this will last.
just wanted to say thank you for making this video. you put into words a lot of what i've been feeling for a long time, and its really nice to know that others have gone through something similar and that it does get better. good luck with the rest of your journey, and I hope college goes well for you!
underrated video
This hit me in just the right way, thanks for sharing!
Very interested to see what more things you will post. :D
Really like this style of content! Keep it up adi.
This is very relatable to what’s going on in my life currently.
this is really helpful to see
i hope you keep talking about stuff like this
imo, medication helped and really good teachers in art and psychology allowed me to get good grades atleast there
How are you so articulate about your feelings, even though were not in the same situation with adhd i can relate to what you are feeling. also webfishing is the perfect game for this. good luck with college
I really enjoyed this video, I can really relate with you and it made me really happy that this video popped up in my recommended :}
You should definitely keep it up! :D
Thanks so much that means a lot!
@@AdiPatch Seeing this kinda inspires me to post myself :3 I love this style of video so much, and it reminds me that I don't need a friend group or anything to start posting
@@Kyubo_toast oh 100% you should go for it! I used to make a few Minecraft videos with a lot of editing but I privated them because that’s kinda editing is just too much and it wasn’t personal enough.
Watching this video at 9 PM as an autistic person with pretty good grades
Maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you so much for this video! I'm in the same situation.
seeing this as i’m considering withdrawing from my first semester of college, thanks for the video from a fellow adhd kid
also, therapy with an adhd specialized therapist can be super beneficial. My therapist has helped me immensely over the years.
I think I really needed this, thank you.
I relate. Thank you for making this video.
just starting the video, im an autistic 15 year old and I like these kinda videos.
edit: this is a really nice and sweet video, like a hug or a handshake, sharing your own expeeriences and it doing what you inteded it to do, bring some comfort.
i love these kinds of videos so much, keep it up man
holy shit man im only in 8th grade and i cant get my schoolwork done bro
this is all so real!
we have the same webfish characters.
dude no joke i've never related so much to something, we might be the same person
Wait a minute...why does this sound like me...
lazyness (as it is commonly employed) isnt real :) it's simply a tool people use to ostracize those who aren't "normal" or "productive"
Im suspicious about having adhd at this point i never really did work in school but now in uni it makes me tweak... I was also like a A to D student
My 3rd of uni and it has been a living hell. I don't want to continue, but if I drop out I disappoint everyone ( like i haven't already), and its not like I have job opportunity or anything if I drop out - I have nothing. So I've started applying for a different college, but that's probably just cope that's not going to work out. I'm just lost with no idea what to do.
I feel you
very relatable
like.
Oooooughhh mood... I flunked out of college super hard w the classic adhd crash and burn. Trying not to feel like my life is over before it even ever started and figure out something for myself. What i want in life, if i want to persue art or choose a more stableish job. And im pretty depressed because of like. Constantly feeling like I'm not enough, that I'm lazy, a failure, a disgrace. A waste of time and resources and effort, a weight that my loved ones must drag behind them because if all my peers who are also not okay can still succeed or atleast keep going but i just. Falter. What does that say about me? Its a lot to wade through, along with the other things that haunt me, but maybe one day ill be okay.
Wishing you the best of luck!
No literallt I feel like I’m going to explode
I dropped out
I'm a simple man. I see omori pfp I click
brother i have adhd. my diagnoses describes it as moderate to severe so use that as you will if it means its easier for you to relate your experience to what i am about to say. i have been on many many different adhd meds and they atleast for me improve my life alot but i did have to go through loads of different types before finding one that fit. i live in scotland so that is free for me but i assume youre american so i hope however overpriced meds are over there dont stop you finding the right one lol. your situation is also uncannily similar to mine so i hope they help you as much as they do for me. i know youre probably very aware adhd meds dont completely cure it but please dont have the attitude that its making you you more normal. adhd IS normal brother its abnormal that life as we know it requires a huge percentage of us to require a weak form of speed to even semi fit into it. try realise we arent broken and it is the world and it is okay we have struggled in it.
im not meaning to preach here its just what id have wanted to know when starting meds and sorry if you knew all of this already lol. i hope it all goes well.
No honestly hearing that I there’s more people who relate to my experience more than just being unable to focus is extremely uplifting for me. I live in Canada and my college will cover some of the medication or at least enough that it would cost me anything to try different meds. I will continue my search with meds and knowing that sometimes it just does take a while with people is nice to know as well. Thank you so much for writing this out I appreciate it so much.
@@AdiPatch yeah I was worried I wrote it all out so fast it made no sense I'm glad you understood me lol. I'm happy I could help!
I have never been diagnosed with ADHD but I have struggled with the same issue a very long time. I recently started to use nicotine pouches when for when I do homework and such and it is working pretty well. I actually end up finding the things I am reading or working on intriguing enough to stay mostly attentive. Not necessarily recommending it though…
damn. wtf youre like me.. oh no-