My family owns Graystone Realty. We sell real estate and personal property as a complete estate downsizing and relocation company. Everything you said here is spot on
Yes! 💰06:51 Plan ahead, don't assume your kids will inherit everything, get valuables appraised and start having conversations about inheritance while your parents are still alive to avoid making hasty decisions later.
I started declutterring and making decisions about my things about a year ago. I just turned 60. I'm exhausted by how much work it is, about how hard it is to make decisions, to list things online to sell them. I constantly ask my daughter if she wants things, I'm storing for her the things that she wants but doesn't have room for right now. This whole process made me realize that I need to either enjoy the things that I have or get them out of my life. If I drop dead tomorrow, the probate judge will have to make decisions for me. I'd rather deal with the decisions myself. My house went from being full of clutter to feeling large. Now I'm laser focused on getting rid of everything that I don't use. Most importantly, I STOPPED SHOPPING
We started the decluttering process about a year and a half ago and it really is a chore. We have sold things, given stuff away and tossed a fair amount straight into the trash. No one wants a 25 year old mattress and box spring. No one wants a 35 year old love seat. I have lost count of how many boxes of books I've taken to our library and how many loads of stuff I've run to the donation center. As we prepare to downsize for retirement it is such a great relief to have that stuff gone. Had we kept all of that I think we would have felt stuck and unable to downsize. We will be turning 60 soon, too, and I think this is a good age to get these tasks accomplished while we're still fit and healthy enough to do it for ourselves.
@@goofygirl1311 Two years into retirement and I still cleaning drawers, shredding papers, discarding stuff…. I’m exhausted! I won’t leave my children with that chores.
I'm 62 I absolutely could have wrote the post that you just wrote that has been my life for the past 6 months since I moved in with Mom I had a higher a kid with a pickup truck to start hauling stuff out to the road there was too much to even take to Goodwill in fact Goodwill didn't even want hardly any of it as far as mom knows she thinks it's all in storage
So if no one in the family wants your belongings and even your house, surely the surviving family members have enough sense to sell everything, especially a house, to simply sell it all. It doesn’t take much common sense to figure this out. 🤦🏻♀️
@@TeaRose9 I think the goal is to pare down the extraneous stuff that we are no longer using and is just taking up space. In our case, we'll also be downsizing into a smaller house so this is a necessary process. We'll still have stuff and a house, but it will be on a much smaller, easier to manage scale.
When I was in my 20s, I remember a lady saying. I’m in my 50s now and I’m trying to get rid of most things that I accumulated in my 30s &40s. I wish I had the money instead. Those words stuck with me until this day and I’m 63.
I'll be 63 in two months and I've been selling extra "stuff" since I turned 60. Downsizing takes a big load off of your mind! To anyone, I say get rid of MOST of your things by the time you reach 70. Only keep things that you just want to keep until you die, that's it.
@@CHRISCRAZZ-t7w Many charities will welcome " good stuff " . Our area is very impoverished & thrift shops , church groups, charities , women's shelters , etc. are actually in need of donations . When my mom passed , she had lovely ( like new !! ) clothes , shoes , bags , so we donated ( we called ahead to know what their policies were ) to a nursing home , seniors group , etc. We also gave all the flowers & plants fr. her funeral to those places & specific flowers to the senior home caregivers as they were so dear to her .
So true. We sold 95% of our belongings before moving to Hawaii. Could barely give away the stuff. High-end antiques/Persian rugs we bought sold for a fraction. But it's so liberating not owning so much stuff.
For me that will go to digital then duplicated . There will be a generation that don’t care about family tree learning . It will please us older to pass on digital pictures even if others low intrest . Sadly after a few generations the family history might be gone forever .
@@vmobile890 We scanned a ton of my Dad's slides into digital prints and put them on a shared folder. My son who is an artist and animator made paintings of some of the slides.
It's too many memories that millennials on down can't understand UNLESS they spent A LOT of time around the entire extended family. Generations Y & Z don't know those people, never lived around people who had lives thru the mid-20th century or earlier, they just want portable, spendable cash.
How am I supposed to inherent all these large heavy furniture items when I'll never own a home to put it in and am likely going to be moving constantly with where work goes or when living situations become available to me? My parents own no cash or financial assets, and all of their items were tossed out and replaced with cheap modern lower quality furniture mimicking older designs and has no cash liquidation value. I'm getting nothing and will lose time/money liquidating their items instead.
That’s easy. You simply make a phone call and someone will take everything worth over $10. The rest you toss in a dumpster. I have no idea why anyone finds this difficult or exhausting and I cleaned out a huge hoard. The fact that there is nothing of value makes it easy.
Millennial here. The stuff is lovely but it's heavy as hell. When you're having to move to a one bedroom apartment, and may have to move again in two to three years because of rent hikes, you can't haul the big fancy stuff around. That big stuff is for houses that you can live in for 30+ years. Not a shoebox apartment. Sad to say.
@@Tormekia good god that’s the truth! Try tellin the movers you’re going to need all of you AND more to move this piece. Typical ‘oh no we got this no problem’. Stand and observe as they all grunt and drop item back down-oh and I promise no harm done because an inch isn’t a damaging height!😝😝😝🙏🏻😁
Interesting thought on wealth transfer 💰 05:50 Plan ahead and have a conversation with your adult children about what they want to do with your house and belongings when you're gone, as they may not want it and you may need to sell it to pay for long-term care.
This is the thing most people don't realize. People don't want to take care of their parents, so the retirement homes will. Medicare will take the house and drain the estate. Kids of most families aren't getting a cent other than what they can take before the government shows up to clean house.
@@Moving.To.Charleston proper planning is essential. You can keep the home, you can keep the money - it all has to be planned out well in advance, however. The government raiding family estates really upsets me. Kids don't have anything because the GOVERNMENT TAKES IT.
Thankfully my parents (so far) have not gone that route,. I'm at the age that I know so many friends/family that lost their parents and the parents had deep CC debt, deep medical debt, reverse mortgages, 2, or 3rd loans on the house..etc..etc..The vast majority of the wealth boomers stole and hoarded is going to go to hedge funds, not their kids. We aren't that far off from trillionaires at this point. I'll be more than fine even if I got nothing, but I have seen several friends that thought..thought..the inheritance was going to be a very needed reprieve and there is nothing. For the record my sister and I have had these unpleasant conversations with my parents and we got a financial advisor for them. Luckily for everyone they are currently in a very good position, but for the older folk out there you need to have the conversation and start planning with your kids well before you are not able to.
I mean at the time parents are getting rid of stuff it might only be the grandchildren that need stuff. Most kids already have their setup completed when their parents are sizing down.
Yup. Sell off your parents 100 year old antiques and use the money to buy nice, new, made in China MDF furniture instead. Particle board is so much more elegant than hand crafted pieces made out of solid wood.
Nah my in laws had furniture they bought at Sears in the 80’s and 90’s. Not the cutest and definitely not high quality. My husband and I get our furniture from estate sales or invest in solid wood when we can. The biggest difference is they the in laws had a huge house and we have a small house. We are already full. Plus the cost and labor of shipping/driving a ratty old tan plaid couch across the US is insane
Thats why i am swedish death cleaning so my son doesn't gave to deal eith "my stuff".he doesn't want it.i just cleaned out my moms house of 60 yrs.EXHAUSTING
I did this last summer. 6 loads a day for 7 days straight to the dump. I used to be a reseller so my understanding on values of things goes pretty far. 99% of the things in her house had zero value and she smoked like a chimney so it all smelled horrible anyway. Luckily we found a buyer to help pay for her memory care
Zeducation had a clip where someone said they were driving by their parents' house, saw them cleaning the garage and continued driving. Someone commented to that saying - better to help your parents clean their garage now instead of by yourself after they've died.
@@rebeccanajera-moya3621 There’s money, time and effort to be invested in refurbishing, too. If I have to refurbish something, it will most likely sit in there for years before I can get to it. That’s why you see it in the homes of people with money, because it’s either DIY (which not everyone can or has the time to), or pay someone to do it (which won’t be cheap for a high quality piece).
Im 52 and i have stopped accumulating stuff. I realize i have already amassed a pile of things that would take alot of time + effort to sell off or donate.
Same. I have a lot to downsize. I’ve recently bought 2 different preowned china patterns. My daughter recently used a set to serve me Mother’s Day tea. Loved it!
That is so smart! you are ahead of the game! I realized this 3 yrs ago at about the same age. It is so liberating and i am so much happier now as a result.
If it's stuffed away in a closet and hasn't been used in years you probably don't need it. My husband had some framed movie posters that were fine to hang in a basement or a dorm room but they aren't something you would want in your main living areas. We're in Florida and no longer have a basement. This is the biggest home that we will ever live in. If we aren't using an item now we never will use it. He let those posters go. I was proud of him.
Please, people, don’t be offended when your family doesn’t want your stuff. It’s simply that your kids have different taste and interest than you. also, they are accumulating or have accumulated their own stuff. they may not have any room for your stuff. also, remember, it’s just things. It’s just inanimate objects. don’t burden them with this stress. It’s not fair.
It’s not so much the stuff. It’s the historical meaning behind the stuff like the way a wedding dress gets passed through generations. Could u imagine if history did not preserve their historical stuff and just want money that in so many countries r worth nothing. If that was the case, it’s like they never existed and u can ignore whatever biblical, cultural beliefs/dispute folks r fighting for. We could have easily erased slavery existing if we threw away all historical slave stuff and called it junked! How horrible 🙁
Here's another issue - many older people RUFUSE to be proactive about anything - from making plans to dismantle their household (kind of understandable) to making sure there is a POA in place. The irony is I am a Gerontologist - I knew what should be done in preparation - my parents refused to do anything, preferring to let everything fall on my shoulders - culminating in a heated discussion as they were in hospice care just to get a POA so I could pay their bills and for them to have a will so everything wasn't dragged out in probate.
@@homelessmillionaire1 Sometimes people can't see beyond the pain of losing the good parts of their lives and the things that gave them pleasure to see how it affects others.
We have antique furnishings all over our house. Solid wood almost everywhere. I look at other millennial houses and they're full of disposable junk that cost as much or more. Mind-blowing.
@@gwills9337 Dude, I'm going to be 41 this year. If I have to move that often at this point, I have screwed up badly and furniture is the least of my problems. Actually, unless you're in the military or apartment-hopping in college, that's probably a screwup period.
I live in the SF Bay Area where the tastes of many of those under 40 not appreciating the quality of the items left by those who built the place. My largely restored but tastefully updated Victorian is mostly furnished and stocked with 19th century items bought for less than Ikea prices from estate sales, from liquidations, or left by house sellers. Many of my hand tools are pre-1920, and power tools pre-1970, but many of the newer ones were found in the garage never-used or NIB. Same for kitchen appliances often NIB. It is also nice when you can find a $200-1000 pair of shoes for $5 or pick up a handmade bespoke suit of fine fabric almost for free which can be tailored for $200 to be a $2000 suit. When I sold one of my houses, I included a fully stocked kitchen with all appliances and gadgets, commercial grade pots and pans, cleaning supplies, paint, spare flooring and tile, and a full set of basic tools in the garage which I had swapped out over time.
@@Daekar3 Enjoy your antiques now because at 41 they are probably not too much for you to heft and haul around but, trust me, they will feel like anchors weighing you down once you get past the age of 50 or 55.
@@goofygirl1311 The only one that is really heavy can be disassembled, actually. Even the couch made during the reign of Napolean (has been recovered and such in the intervening time) is relatively easy to move with sliders on the feet. If I'm changing residences, I'll have some help with the heavy stuff anyway, so I'm not worried. The biggest risk will be the curved glass on the front of a cabinet that my family has had since immigrating from Europe, but that's just a tough thing to deal with no matter your age. I'm honestly shocked it hasn't been broken yet, but we did do our best to be careful.
My mom is 72, widowed, and still lives in my parents' 2500 square foot home. She has it packed to the gills with furniture, knick-nacks, rooms full of designer clothes, decor items, statues, linens, sets of china, sets of large scale ornate furniture, duplicates and triplicates of everything. My parents were married for 35 years with a decent middle class income and my mom loved to shop. She amassed HUGE amounts of stuff in the early 1990s-2010. When I go visit she tells me (like she's done me a big favor), "when I die, all this will be yours." Well, crap - that is a huge task and disaster for me to deal with while grieving her death. Thanks, mom. I'm a divorced, single parent, on a single income, and live in the city in an 800 square foot apartment. I have a decent job in IT, but with inflation and the state of the economy I live on a budget in a small apartment. Even if I wanted her stuff, which I don't, where would I put it? What the hell am I supposed to do with all my mom's crap? It just looks like a lot of work and a big, huge, annoying, and time-sucking disaster that I'll have to deal with when she passes. I may keep or sell the house (it was my childhood home, after all), but all the spending and shopping she did over the years was for HER entertainment as it provides no value to me. The time and effort I'll have to put into getting rid of all that junk is going to probably end up costing me money compared to what I'll be able to liquidate it for. The only things I want are the family photos and one Roseville pottery vase that was passed down from my great grandma.
Try finding someone who loves to sell stuff online, or has their own collectible/thrift store, to make a deal in the future. Then they’ll move the stuff out. It is a lot of work. Younger generations have the energy to do it.
@@Lnel3799 how does a person lovingly convince a senior parent that what they think is a goldmine is actually unwanted junk? Some aging folks will not accept whatever you try to discuss
@@lmor7110 doesn’t hurt to try. Some people are uncomfortable with having honest conversations but they’re necessary. It’s not healthy to participate in people’s delusions. If they’re offended by the truth, that is their problem to overcome.
When the time comes, hire an estate sale company. Take the things you mentioned and let them deal with the rest. I have a friend with such a company. She said it’s awful watching children grieve while worrying about what they’re supposed to do with all their parents’ stuff. My friend brings peace of mind and objective thinking to the process.
When my dad died my mom stayed in the house another three years, and then finally moved in with us. We sold her house and had an estate sale. They managed everything, what wasn’t sold was either donated or taken to a resale shop. All I had to do was sign the contract and take a percentage of the total. Took a tremendous load off my mind. BTW if you’re looking for a business opportunity, estate sales seems like a growing one. People are willing to pay someone to manage all the clutter. Everyone wins.
I live in a retirement area and check out the estate sales now and then. There's an astonishing amount of Hummel figurines, pressed clear cut glassware that no one ever used, tables and tables full of 'entertainment' dishware no one ever used. You can tell how old the owners were from the decade their 'stuff' was popular.
I went to help clean out my grandfathers house after he was placed in a home. My dad said go over and take some things. I took his deer mounts, a very large Robert Wood painting in the basement, his mother Mary he had on his nightstand, a Lenox of bugs bunny and his folded veteran flag. I was born in 1992. The stuff doesn’t replace my grandparents.
Boomers grew up in a time when the world was recovering from the 2nd World war, whose parents had had to live in times of scarcity. New found affluence made it possible to reclaim those lost years by letting kids collect and have hobbies. My parents bought me model kits, comics, books, scooters, roller skates, sports gear and much more, some of which is now collectible, most of which is now considered junk. It was a different world.
As a boomer , I feel our parents ( " The Greatest Generation " , raised during the Depression & WWll survivors ) also taught our generation to appreciate the hard work that provided our good lives & educations . We were taught to live within our means & put away money " for a rainy day " . Many of us still emulate their values & try to pass those values on .
@@cynthiajohnston424 unfortunately, they didn't pass on the value to you of wanting to leave a better world for your children. So you're spending all the money and burning up the planet. Thanks for that
Back then it was common practice for people just starting out to furnish their starter homes with used...everything. It was a mismatched jumble of furniture and we hung onto everything. Up until a year or so ago, we had at least 5 different sets of plate patterns in our kitchen cabinets. I finally got rid of those and for the first time we have a set of plates and bowls that actually all match and they are microwavable and chip resistant, too.
Estate sales are popping in Texas with buyers of all ages! I often wait an hour in line just to get into a house to see the stuff! There are also tons of people who refinish old furniture and sale it for good money!
My SIL had an estate sale in Dallas when her mother passed away. Home filled with gorgeous antiques. Almost no one came. There’s just too much “good stuff” out there for sale cheap. Millennials and Gen Z just aren’t that interested in it. They are not collectors.
I went to one in Texas and the auctioneer was selling not only the stuff from the family, but also stuff they had received for free leftover from other estate sales. Huge numbers of people at these sales. Sale ran for 3 days. Must be a Texas thing. Where I am on the West Coast no one wants that big chest of drawers and dining room table and chairs.
Where guns are concerned, it depends on the state. Here in Connecticut, a gun can only have one owner and that person's name is on the registration. You can't give someone a gun. You can't inherit a gun. Even a spouse can't have a gun go through probate and take ownership of it. The owner of a gun has to go through tons of paperwork with the state and the recipient has to go through a background check and fingerprints and the paperwork has to have all the serial numbers. Otherwise, someone from the Firearms Division at the State Trooper barracks has to come and take the firearms and record everything, make, model, caliber, serial number, and they are destroyed. I wish we didn't have all the guns from my FIL. They're in my husband's name now, so I can't even put one in our vehicle and transport it. Only he is supposed to even touch them. I wish he would just sell them.
@@afridgetoofar1818 I just don’t get the fascination with guns. When my dad died, he had guns that none of his five kids wanted. Unless you are a legitimate hunter, guns are a burden that you need to safeguard from children. If I can make it thru life without owning a gun, I consider that a good life. And, yes, I’m happily living in a blue state💙.
I inherited an oak secretary desk from my grandmother when my grandmother went to the old folks care home & her kids helped dispose of furniture in order to sell her house as planned to pay for extra care she needed. While the working desk was nice, but not grand, it had been made by my great-great grandfather who was emigrant, becoming a lumberjack in the wilds of the Wisconsin Territory, passing it on to my great grandfather who did all the paperwork for his business in it, before my grandmother had it in her downstairs office/spare room where she kept all her business papers & paid bills. I shipped it out West and used it for a few decades before I passed it on to a niece (stories & all) when I downsized moving across town. She, like me, likes that you can flip up the desk surface door to had your paperwork when people come over. Glad she wanted that desk, and the kids that bought my old house wanted all the bookshelves because none of those would fit in my much smaller place now.
My 99 year old grandma still thinks the offers from 30 years ago are still good. Her Shirley Temple pitcher is worth less than shipping and the doll collectors are dead
We moved my dad in with us and had an auctioneer go theough his entire household and auction off what was valuable (almost nothing) and dispose of the rest (after we took what we wanted with dad's permission). He got $600 for his whole household after fees. But it was worth it.
@@vocalityovertime it's amazing what people will buy on ebay, though. I have a friend who sells old junk on ebay and its a fairly lucrative side hustle
When my MIL died , my husband & his siblings all nicely agreed to go the auction route thinking their mom had valuable collectibles ; no one did any prior research into the collection of " stuff " . Turned out that her " collectibles " were not worth anything but at least the ( rental ) house was quickly & efficiently cleared out . The family then thoroughly cleaned & painted the interior which the landlord greatly appreciated .
That is true. I live in a small studio apartment. I don't have room for other people's belongings. I already have some family items under my bed and in the one closet and I would love to have that space opened up or used for other items. Just what I have from others isn't much, but in this small of a place it takes up a significant amount of space. I have no intention of winding up with more unwanted items.
or the house even. that financial crisis in 09 got rid of house. i put stuff out and gave it away free. nice stuff. tokk less than a half hour and everything was gone. free is a nice word.
I wanted my parents home, but my sister is a psychopath and proved that my life would be hell living with her. Besides if one of the beneficiaries doesn’t want the house, the executor of the will has to turn it into money.
by the time we’re receiving anything we don’t need it anymore. we could have used that furniture, that table, those decorative items when we first married or bought our first house. now everything we’re gifted just stacks up in the garage and eventually donated. most of it isn’t heirloom or truly valuable anyways it’s just “stuff” that was accumulated
People should buy less "stuff". I have some antiques that were handed down. Cost me $0. I never bought fine china. My "fine art" is from Goodwill. My nice brown leather sofa and loveseat cost me $400 at the city wide yard sale. My dining room table I bought used from my best friend. I have glassware above my cabinet that were handed down from my grandmother. I buy stocks, crypto, real estate, and put money into my high yield savings account and HSA. Kids want houses. I've already given my oldest two my rental homes. Everything is mortgage free.
I agree and this is the mentality that should be more popular. I tell people this all of the time. You are a rare breed of a parent indeed. Most parents in this country can't compare to you. So many people with no home being passed down. It only takes 1 generation to pass down their homes to their children to solve the homelessness problem, yet after 10+ generations so many people are still paying mortgages/rents, or are homeless. It's sad. 😢
@@Jack-jp6ki We purchased a lot for our nephew on the understanding that even if he needs to live elsewhere that he can always sell it and buy somewhere else. When we purchased, we considered location and if it was likely to retain its resale value.
You hit the nail on the head. when my parents past away I had to sell their home in Sun City West Arizona and had to go through all their belongings. I was overwhelmed, but made sure the family got everything that they wanted and the rest, I had to go through an estate sale. I was amazed at how little people were paying for furniture and other items that were once valuable (parents had a professional evaluate their property years earlier). I still have the china, but never use it. The silverware I ended up selling to a jeweler for it's silver content as we would never use it and no one wanted to buy it as silverware. I live in Surprise Arizona which helped make things a little easier, but I couldn't fit most everything from their house into ours nor would I want to. You are so right though that nowadays no one wants our stuff. I am trying to figure out how to pass my stuff on to relatives right now. I have no children. I have allot of genealogy information and old documents from ancestors I am afraid will be lost in the future and end up in the trash or on display at an antique store. You ever go to an antique store and see really old antique wedding photos and wonder why it ended up there, or what happened to the descendants that they would not want keep that history. Makes me sad.
Some families were abusive generation after generation, and this is the reason why children and grandchildren don't want to keep looking at the source of their misery. I've noticed that only healthy, loving families keep preserving their family history, which makes sense.
I have no children either and one of the things I've considered doing is putting that family history online, like here on TH-cam, so it can exist somewhere even after the physical items are gone.
I’m the same, no children, the keeper of the family lore, photos and heirlooms. None of my brothers kids give a damn about the family lore or history or heirlooms. So I’m trying to figure out what to do with all the stuff that they will just throw in the trash.
OFFER UP ..... We posted stuff we didn't want on "offer up" and people came right away to get it. I told my wife to let them know they have to pick it up themselves I am not going to risk hurting my back moving it, no exceptions. It worked out great we got rid of a lot of stuff. It seemed like mostly Immigrants wanted most of it. Free stuff when you have nothing is better than having to pay money for it and they moved out no problems.
I was an immigrant in the late 80s. My roommate & I furnished our apartment from elderly people's garage sales. Everything from furniture to drapes & in between. Our pad looked like a throwback to the 1970s 😂
This guy is spot on! Before my mom diedshe cleared all the junk out of her house because she didn’t want to be a burden on people after she died. One big mistake parents make is giving the house to the kids to own together. When has that ever worked out? Usually one of the kids holds everything up and then the rift happens between the kids.
100% right. Seen this almost every single time. One sibling just wants the cash. The other siblings can’t afford to buy out the equity of the house, so it goes up for sale. And as usual, makes “bad feeling” for the other siblings.
@@pear7554kids are biologically predisposed to attach and seek relationships with their parents. It says a lot about the parent if this isn’t happening.
The house thing is so true. My parents have a farm that I would die to own, but my parents want yo be "fair" so they are splitting it between me and my brother. There is no way I can buy him out so I am shafted. The lesson I learned is I will not be doing this with my kids. If any of them want our property, they will receive it. If none want it they it can be split.
Sadly, many of the older folks whose stuff will have to be disposed of live in areas where there are scores of other older folks whose stuff needs to be disposed of so there is no viable outlet for it all. Florida and Arizona are saturated markets for senior stuff.
Yup, I had to go to several thrift stores in the Hemet area to finally find one that would take a truckload of the dead aunts stuff. I had to be there first in line in the morning, soon as the cargo container was full, they stopped taking donations. Sad. Tons of retirement villages in that area.
@@Rickhelps I have found that the problem with estate sales in Fl. seem to have already been picked over by the estate manager and their dealer friends.
We're planning on retiring in an over 55 active adult community. We are getting rid of a good amount of the stuff in our current house and will by brand new furnishings to fit our new space in Florida. The goal is to have an attractively furnished house that could be sold "turn key" if we or our children need to. It'll be furnished much like a vacation rental. Little to no "old person" stuff, lol.
You are exactly right. I just spoke to an older gentleman about this topic a couple days ago. I use to go junkin in the NE. Many times I would find very nice items put out on the curb because someone passed away or were placed in a nursing home, and their adult children didn't want any of their parents household items. Just take it! They only wanted the house and money; and, will probably sell the house for more cash. Happens all the time. Stop leaving all your stuff to your adult children, SELL IT and ENJOY YOUR LIFE!
I have my grandfathers small tool box, I remember him every time I use it with great memories. Sister got my grandmothers ice cream scooper. Same thing. All the furniture, dishes, everything else is just a burden.
We had been in our house for nearly 20 years when we decided to relocate for a job and I was shocked by how much stuff that we had in that house. We had to pare down and stage the house for sale within a short time frame and the amount of junk that we set out at the curb for trash pick up was embarrassing - it literally looked like we were clearing out a hoarder house even though our house never looked anything like a hoarder house. I was running things nonstop to the donation center and a storage unit. It was exhausting and eye opening. And here we are again, 10 years later, going through round 2 at our current house only at a much more relaxed and thoughtful pace - thank goodness. Don't wait for a pressing need to start this process.
I know an elderly person who owns a house that has a concrete basement, much like a bunker. You would think that he would have used that basement to store his doomsday food and water, or some gold and silver bullion bars. But no, he uses the basement to store his huge collection of 40,000 books collected over a period of 50 or more years. This person is now over 80 years of age, and he's still hanging onto all his books!
@@msalazar413 There's a used book retailer who has offered him shop space to place 1,000 books at a time on consignment, but he has rejected the offer.
Sounds like my grandma. Its a mental disorder. Ive seen farms wirh big huge storage sheds full of trash and useless junk, while the equipment sits outside in the weather. Many these people are crazy lunatics with myriad mental issues.
After my father‘s death, I had to dispose of a a house full of stuff. A huge house, filled with art, antiques, and collectibles. I think the auction company must have been there loading up a big truck on at least six occasions. Probably more times than that. I still have some stuff in storage. Certain items I didn’t want to sell because of the value. You never knew what would actually bring in big bucks, but the rest had to go, regardless. And so some people got good deals. It was either sell the stuff or spend most of the rest of my life trying to get a good price for everything. The auction guy said that 10 or 15 years ago, everything would have been worth 3x as much. But times change.
@@Gary65437 This stuff really is worth money. That’s why I didn’t get rid of it. Valuable artwork, valuable rugs, valuable furniture. None of it is big and bulky, so it’s in a POD container. When I want it, they’ll ship it wherever.
Dear Old People: maybe it’s better that YOU take control of your “stuff” and sell it yourself so YOU could benefit from your stuff. Sell it, take the money, enjoy your ride. And if there is any left over by the time you are buried, they can easily split it up and spend it themselves.
I tried to tell this to my parents for years, and now that we had to move them into assisted living, we are dealing with all their stuff, and deferred home maintenance. Not pleased at all.
Respectful, thoughtful, and helpful offspring are hard to come by. Just remember the largest transfer of wealth in history will possibly benefit some of you.
Folks over 40 tend to have a very inflated view of their possessions. When i downsized i couldn't GIVE my dining room furniture, grandfather clocks, etc away. I ended up using OfferUp at $0 and then mainly used a rolloff dumpster to just toss the rest. The first few things in that big can are tough - but you soon will be cheerfully tossing all that unnecessary stuff. Old Rolltop desk you can't give away? Off to the Driveway Dumpster! DONE. I've been to the "end" of Estate Sales - the part where all that stuff for sale goes right into the garbage. Everyone's life ends that way. No biggie - circle of life. Postponing it only makes it worse it's honestly a form of Hoarding holding on to that crap
I come from a line of hoarders. I think that they think that I want all this stuff, but most of it is stuff that they found dumpster diving or at garage sales. I've tried to explain this many times to little avail.
I gave everything to a thrift store until one day after I dropped down the back gate the staff declined a nice 4 piece expensive bedroom set. They were full! I found another thrift place to take my full truck of furniture. I didn't know what Id do with all of it at 8:30 pm, otherwise. Now, I have only 6 pieces of furniture in the whole house. I completely cleared 1/2 of my kitchen cupboards..I even donated 75% of my daily use type of mugs. dishes, cookware. Whenever I get together with friends, we eat out We no longer have dinner parties at home. They are too much work @ our age
Ha, this video is exactly right. I have liquidated three “estates” for family and friends. Here’s what I learned…..nobody wants your crap. That piece of furniture your great grandfather made, in the trash. Photos of family that the current generation knows nothing about, in the trash! The China, the books, the quilts, clothes, tools…if it’s worth a couple of dollars, garage sale…then….in the trash. If you want something special to go to your family, give it now while you are alive. Because really, they don’t care or want it. Seen this 100% of the time. Your “stuff” is worthless. And here is another thing I’ve learned, giving items in a will is just a suggestion. In reality, most of what you want as your final wishes will not happen. Seen that too. People just want the money….PERIOD!
Ding ding ding! Notice that most of these folks seem to have invested heavily into "stuff" when they should've been investing into assets. Stuff is junk. Assets have value.
This is the type of thinking I’ve come across where people in my own family have away a quarter million of “junk”. My aunt sold her parents’ house and gave away the contents. There were Levi’s unworn from the late 40’s and 50’s in a back closet stacked to the top, comic books in mint condition in the attic from the same era, baseball cards from the early 50’s, toys, an old running Vespa from the late 50’s. On and on. I understand if it’s grandma’s knitting collection that fills up three rooms but there’s people who just don’t understand the values of these items.
My mom has a house full of depression era stuff I’d like to give away!! I recently visited her. She told me she wanted to move into a senior living facility in her home town 1000 miles from where she currently lives. I said, “Great, this would be a good time to sell off a bunch of stuff because it will be a one bedroom apartment.” She then told me she would move it all and put it in storage and then I could have it when she died. For too long her well meaning friends have told her the antiques and her house are worth more than her house. When my mom has told me that I have said in response, “Only if there’s a buyer.”
A friend of mine had their grandmother pass away and inherited a bunch of stuff. The sad part is my friend cant afford anything bigger than an appartment and had to store them in boxes. There was an inspection of their appartment and almost got evicted because of the clutter. They had to throw out most of it just to keep from becoming homeless. I think alot of people just dont have the space anymore for this stuff.
I was lucky, my parents were cheap skates. They always bought the cheapest stuff on offer and kept it running as long as possible. My dad was quite handy at that. Of all the crap we threw away we only kept my mother's sewing machine, jewellery and an odd, unassuming small fold-away table we found in the basement that almost ended with the rest of the stuff. But I have an eye for furniture and checked it out on the internet. It turned out to be of English manufacture, English Oak, early 1950s and was worth 10 000 dollars. My mother must have bought it at some boot sale for a dollar or 2 and didn't know what to do with it. She was like that, bless her soul.
I kept as much as I could. My brother threw out as much as he could. I'm glad I kept what I did, although not for the money. My dad was pretty kick ass. A US CB marine, service in Korea and Vietnam I'm proud of him. And miss him dearly.
@@VictorianMaid99 People in our neighborhood will list the stuff that they are putting out at the curb so that if anyone can use it they can come and take it. Otherwise, it goes with the trash. If you literally can't give it away it probably is trash.
Florida has been flooded with self-storage places after the pandemic named it “free” Florida. Thousands now learning the cost of living means not even being able to rent a small apartment for less than $2K per month with no storage. Most will probably leave the state and leave their stored items behind too.
My mom has basically spent all of her money on cat knickknacks all around the house, I don’t know how many times I’ve told her. Hey thanks for spending all of our inheritance on this crap.
Boomer here. I already downsized to a condo. Took about 4 yard sales and many trips to goodwill. I just have some wooden items handmade by my Dad, a tea cart, my son’s cradle, and a magazine rack (😂) handmade quilts from my Grandma, and many generations of pictures going back to my great grandparents. My condo is in a trust for my son. They can do what they may with the rest.
@@TraceyBergum It was really prompted by my older brother. Our Mom was in a nursing home for 6 years. He visited her often and heard the horror stories around him from families arguing about everything, losing everything, making really bad decisions. So, he put all his affairs in order, then so did I. Our Mom was really organized about it all, had a long term care policy, etc, but didn’t protect her money so it was all spent on the nursing home. She would have never wanted that to happen. And it took a ton of hours to clear out her house. She was a bit of a packrat, but I’ve lived in 5 states so you collect less clutter when you move a lot.
@@JBoy340a My brother visited my Mom a lot when she was in a nursing home. He heard families around him talking in the common areas and heard the disasters that occurred when no plans were in place and siblings arguing about random stuff because Mom’s wants were not in writing. It’s kinda sad to plan “ahead”, but totally worth it “after” the end.
@@katydid2877 thanks. There should be more education about this. Especially with the large cohort of boomers who are aging and going to be passing on over the next 30 or so years.
Plenty of people want your stuff... you just think it's worth 10x what you paid. Normal people cant afford anything right now and your rich spoiled kids are the ones not wanting it.
Nope. They don't want everything. We've listed stuff for FREE and had no takers. Some stuff really is worthless. No one wants your old, chipped Pfaltzgraff plates that were old and chipped when they were handed down to you. Not everything that we own is a priceless heirloom. In fact, some of that stuff is downright worthless.
Thank you ! I'm 73 and although I realize noone in the family wants our stuff, my husband feels otherwise. He gets a dreamy look on his face and says "oh (55 year old son) is going to LOVE looking at these and having them .. 100s of books, hundreds of DVDs, Dungeon and Dragon figures and junk. Sigh. Nope. He'll be crushed or his son will have to take it and pretend.
Maybe his son will love a few of the best books and Dungeon/dragon figurines that remind him most of his father. Some people keep items for memories, rather than pictures. Why wouldnt his son want just a few pieces as a memory of his father's hobby?
Books - nobody wants them, not even for decor! I used to give to gardener, for his son’s gf. Gave to ex-husband for decoration only. Now, no one. Many go into trash.
My uncle recently got rid of his entire DVD Blu-ray collection including the blu-ray player. He now watches most things on youtube and his son didn't want it either. We took a few items but I was worried we wouldn't be able to get rid of it all. Thankfully, a cousin took the entire shebang off our hands.
I took books to the library once. They were pleased with some of the items. They told me that they had a giveaway table near the entrance for things they didn't want so they took the entire box off my hands.
Some folks need a wake up call. If you think those old magazines are worth anything, run them by the library and see if they will take them for their book sale. Our library wouldn't take them. We listed them and no takers. I finally took them to Goodwill and it would not surprise me if they were tossed straight into the dumpster!
When my sister married, she had a pick of glassware to take. And when that broke with kids, she took some more. lol. We could probably furnish four houses with glassware to spare. We ended up in that predicament as mom has a large family and our house was the house to visit for Christmas. And in the days before disposable plates, you had to actually have extra plates. She recently gave a stack of amber colored glass (Corelle?) plates to a sister who was willing to take them.
I passed a complete set of Currier and Ives to a friend in her early 60s who likes that nostalgic country winter stuff. Sells for about $275 on ebay. My grandmother collected it for me so I was happy to send it on to someone I love. My kid doesn’t want any of this stuff. And never did. Now he lives in an 800 ft.² apartment in a large city with his partner. They don’t have room for an extra bag of chips. I told him when I die, just have somebody clear the house out he doesn’t have to do it and shouldn’t. Estate sale or give to not for profit thrift shop that spays and neuters pets for people that can’t afford it.
@@kysmik8214 which is fine, but then it's very silly to complain that we don't want it when we already have our own 20 years later that we're also still using
Had a really hard time getting anyone interested in my recently deceased mom's stuff. Then I visited a consignment store with row after row of cubicles filled with stuff that must also have failed to sell at estate sales. After that, I understood why our estate sale had gone so poorly.
My mother's house was filled with valuable household goods. Top shelf serving sets and silver in mint condition, etc. Some of it from as early as the '50s. My entire life I was forbidden from touching any of it. This was how people used to acquire and store wealth, so naturally it was off limits to a child's grubby hands. I did eventually get to touch all of it, though; when I picked it up to toss it all in a dumpster. That could have been the most traumatizing aspect of settling their affairs.
Ugh, that must have been awful. But people don't realize what a chore it is to sell and get any kind of money at all for that "valuable" stuff. You might wind up selling your Mom's prized serving set for 20 bucks and the person either won't show up to get it or they'll want you to spend money shipping it to them. I once had a person ask me to make a 2 hour round trip to deliver a bag of FREE school supplies to them. Ummm, no.
Oh my gosh I thought my mother was the only one like that there's always these items and every room that you're not allowed to touch or use why try to live that way when you have a kid I just think that's so selfish and because of the amount of stuff that she had I had to get rid of a lot of it and mom thinks it's in storage she's 90
When my parents passed it was middle winter and storming in Wisconsin We ended up filling 3 dumpsters. The 1 thing I regret wa throwing away a big box of sea shells that had been collected 50 years earlier on vacations. I swear on the way home I happened into a museum where they had the same or smaller shells. (I did keep the box of letters my parents wrote to each other during their engagement while they were living in different cities 😍)
So I was raised by my grandparents who sold antiques for almost 50 years. I helped them out at the antique show and loved what we sold. My papaw pretty much told me “just pick out what you want and we’ll just sell the rest at auction”. I still collect antiques here in my 20s and I will give away blanket chests that I redo to friends. I still sell the rest of what I’ve got for some extra money on the side though as a hobby.
Our son asked his dad to get rid of all his stuff before he passes. He is sitting at the dining room table going through his comics and readying them for sale. He sold a lot of his “stuff” this past year and financed our trip to Italy. We are getting ready to sell it all so we can retire and travel. We downsized and live in a smaller home. I want to rent it out and live in Italy. We need to keep it so when one of us passes we have a home base. It stinks getting old and having to think about this stuff.
To be honest by the time people get around to getting rid of their stuff their kids are already passed the time when they needed the stuff and they now have Home set up so where they gonna put your stuff? Maybe your grandkids could use some of it
I’m fortunate that my son loves antiques and family history and moved into my mother’s home and wanted it ALL! yay! But I would like people to consider giving things just to people you know who have an interest in your things. Start selling stuff before u die so the money can be used for nursing homes or gift to your kids . People hang onto things for SOO LONG sometimes that their kids are in their 60’s- 70’s themselves. People give things to your children while they can enjoy it if they actually want it, or let them sell it and have the money.. consign stuff at consignment shops ! There are young people out there who do want this stuff it’s just not as common..
Too many people hoarded junk and us kids already have the things our parents are trying to dump on us. If I already have furniture and clothes and appliances ect, I don't need 2 or 3 sets of things I already have. Both of my boomer parents are hoarders have multiple houses and storage containers of junk and piles of crap from floor to ceiling and rooms packed with so much junk nobody can use the houses or rooms. My mom's house is so bad nobody can even sit in any chair or use beds and the two dining room tables are covered in junk and you can't even use the table for its intended purposes. Many of my peers' parents are the same way. They have too many things and too much junk.
Plenty of folks here in Orange county whose parents bought a house for $250k back in the 90s and now the house is worth $2 million. This is the #1 reason why people are "fleeing" this part of California. They can go live in the Midwest and get house for under $300k and live off the rest indefinitely.
My mother was a hoarder. She never threw anything away. Everything was boxed up. Linens were decades old in boxes. It took me months to sort and throw everything away. Now, the house is rented so she can have some money to pay for her rent at assisted living facility. House will be sold when she dies and proceeds split between my siblings. House is worth a lot in California.
Here's something a bit different : I do estate cleanouts and distress sale liquidation purchases - auctions etc . . and I DO want a person's stuff. BUT - here is the reality. He is absolutely correct about large - awkward - anachronistic - absurd stuff from the past few decades like China Cabinets etc . . AND I live in Florida and the VAST majority of the estate situations is a house FULL of trinkets - dishes - cups - old/dated furniture and basically ( paperweights ). And I am CONSTANTLY amazed at the sheer VOLUME of worthless detritus these people physically bought and purposefully brought into their home. ESPECIALLY if it is a Woman. Dolls - statues - ceramic characters and on and on and on . . . He is SO correct that people do not want THAT stuff. BUT - I DO want items that have value from the estates - so I offer to take EVERYTHING from the estate and throw away the worthless items during the process.
I will take your old stuff. Better than most of the modern crap. I still use hand tools from the early 1900's for woodworking. Most new saws barely cut.
I’ll take the old antiques for pennies on the dollar if anybody wants to unload them. The new furniture isn’t built like the old antiques. Everything now is cheap ikea. My mom has chairs and other antiques that are hundreds of years old and can be used everyday. They are built to last and will be handed down for many more generations.
My friend had a houseful of antiques he bought while stationed in Europe. Large ornate pieces. In every room. Could not find a buyer. Had to sell for pennies on the dollar. He was convinced while purchasing them his two daughters would want to keep them. Zero interest.
I needed this video and the comments. I had to clean out my parents home and I still have most of their “stuff” eight years later. The things that have been most difficult are large paintings that I need to try and sell and at least 20 hand made quilts, even after my two brothers took some (that’s not including small items like runners, pillows and pot holders). I think I’ll donate the excess quilts to be sold at the yearly auction that benefits the high school of in the small town they retired to. The guilt has been too much.
@Rickhelps I think if I had broached the subject from the correct angle it would have been okay. I’d say both were a little snobbish about what they liked…if I’m being perfectly honest. By that I mean they couldn’t possibly imagine that I would not want their things. The fact is I don’t have room for all those quilts and numerous paintings, many around 6 by 5 feet. The lack of space would be the right approach. They collected modern art and had Danish modern furniture so they have *some* of what people want.
I'm gen x my mom was born in the 1930s. She had collected a ton of china and porcelain that she still had when she died. Well, we all have our own stuff and didn't have room or need for her stuff. 95% of it wasn't worth anything. Grand children wanted one or two pieces as mementos. Frankly, mom had gotten rid if her China cabinet and packed her collections away in bins because it was too much work to clean and maintain.
@@redrustyhill2 Well to be fair, mom collected most of that in the 60s and 70s from thrift stores! She collected things she enjoyed. We grew up with most of that stuff. I'm sure no one thought about it back in the day. As she aged she realized there was nothing to do with 90% of it. Tastes are different so there's no market for most of it now. I still have it because I don't want to dump it on a local thrift or charity. Also mom lived in the same house for more than 40 years. So she never 'downsized' the way many do. Also I'm sure people my age are collecting things their millennial kids won't want either! 😆 I bet there are massive collections of books, records, CD/DVDs sitting on bookshelves.
My husband and I are 66 and 67. We are hoping to move from CA to Prescott, AZ in a couple of years, if we can manage to find a house we can afford over there. We have 4 daughters and we know they don't want our house or our stuff. So I have started the decluttering and organizing process so that if we do move, it will be much easier because everything is all ready decluttered and organized and if we don't, then settling our estate will be much easier as no one will have to sort through all our stuff. We have things set up that our house will be sold and the money split between the girls. I used to really enjoy decorating my home and having all my stuff, but lately, it seems a burden and overwhelming, so I have started decluttering. I cannot bear to throw pictures away though so I hope one of our girls will take them and preserve our family's history.
I’m 75 and I don’t see any reason that our heirs have to take everything. We have let them know what is valuable and can be kept or sold, but everything else can go into landfills if they don’t want it. These old people who are complaining their kids won’t take everything seem to feel that they are ancient Egyptians and have some sort of immortality as long as their stuff is being kept by someone.
I am almost sure that if you found a genuine Roman era amphora hiding out in someone's stuff that all museums would say - heck no, we got piles of those. lol.
My 98-year-old mother died last year. Her furniture was antique when she bought it 60 years ago when I was a kid. Unfortunately, I don't have room in my house for her stuff. It's already full of furniture I inherited from my grandmother.
I live in a 55+ park. Most ppl’s furniture and clothing are not antique, just outdated. Jewelry and handbags are subjective. Most heirs and young relatives don’t care for them unless they are old Rolex, large diamond jewelry, vintage Birkin or Kelly that can fetch real cash.
I’m 65 and our daughters do actually want our stuff. I have a collection of valuable handbags and our house is furnished from pottery barn, Williams Sonoma and Crate and Barrel. We keep the house updated to today’s designs features, mainly because my husband and I like newer design, and our house is in one of the “hipper” neighborhoods in our city. We also have some very cool artwork which our kids and their friends like. Our kids frequently either ask if we’d be willing to part with something now or they ask that we desígnate it for them when we go. Maybe their tastes will change but for now they’d be more than happy to move right in!
You really should let your kids have some stuff now. I have started giving my jewelry, handbags, art etc. to mine as I think it's better for them to enjoy things while I'm still alive, it brings joy to all parties involved.
@@TraceyBergum You’re definitely right. I have started giving them a few things. My youngest daughter likes the vintage coach and Burberry bags but I’m not ready to give those up quite yet! The Burberry belonged to my grandmother and it is so cool.
As we age “ stuff” becomes less important, start gifting things to your kids while they are young enough to enjoy it. For one once my parents passed I could have cared less about what they left but had they given some of to me earlier I would have loved it..
I'm a millennial, bordering Gen Z. When my grandparents died, my boomer aunt and her children put nearly all of my grandparents stuff in a haul away dumpster before anyone else knew they were cleaning out the house. Didn't even ask anyone if they wanted to come by and look. They collected all sorts of vintage stuff that I would have loved to hold onto. Sad sad sad.
sorry to hear that, you arent the first person ive heard tell of that. death brings out the mean and thoughtless is many people. your aunt may have had some big issues with family members.
@@annmorgana2848 thank you. It was definitely messy and chaotic, but at the end of the day I don't care as much about the stuff; just miss my gparents and family that I haven't seen since. Sucks to hear that many others have had to deal with this too.
@@iamjustaman444 It's a shock to lose both of your grandparents so closely together. I'm sorry for your loss. But in your aunt's defense, she may have been helping them for years and simply felt overwhelmed by the chore and expense of clearing their house out. When you have that chore hanging over your head the stuff starts feeling like a burden that you simply want to get rid of. It would have been far better if your grandparents had given you a few special items while they were still alive and worked on getting rid of some of their stuff themselves.
Gen X wants ALL the old stuff! Ever since Covid, the quality of everything, especially furniture has gone down the tubes. That china cabinet you can't get rid of would cost thousands of dollars to buy today.
@@Nun195 Very useful 50 or more years ago when people had bigger get togethers and fancy dinner parties. My parents had china cabinet and all used dishes & glassware. NOw all those people are old or dead. I have only 3 friends and NO time for dinner parties. and can only afford small house. I assume wealthy people with large social life and wives with lot more time are only ones who can still use china cabinet what was once a middle class and lower income furniture.
My old man is a tool guy So am I His stuff ain’t looking to bad Bunch of sweet hunting and fishing gear Every automotive tool ever All the welding equipment And then a basement turned into a carpenter dream shop. Sorry pops don’t take this wrong but I can’t wait for your stuff. I’ll keep your house forever if I can
My in laws are borderline hoarders, a trait they passed onto my wife. When I retire I am building my own house and none of their crap is coming in. Ii'll live out tge rest of my days in peace - alone if necessary
Similar situation here. My husband is Gen x from socialistic times in Poland. Poverty mentality is strong in his parents and with him, he’s recovering. I’ve seen the stuff, stuff and more stuff makes them feel safe and secure. It’s psychological, emotional and that’s what’s hard to change. He is an only child but has come to realize his parents are boardline hoarders. I’m not looking forward to the day we need to clear out their overally crowded stuffed apartment
If your wife insists on keeping their stuff, she can rent a storage unit and the expense will come out of her half of your discretionary spending budget. Fair is fair.
I’m Gen X and it has taken me three years to clean out my mother’s house. Luckily there is a small town outside my city full of antique dealers-it’s known for that. So I was able to find some people who did want the stuff. I do think the Boomers acquired way more than their parents or children. I just don’t understand the sheer amount my parents had.
Same here. My silent generation mother just passed and I'm sure much of what she had will go to the dump. I've noticed the garage sales this spring aren't drawing a lot of people like they used to.
They -- or their parents -- lived through the Great Depression when no one had squat. Being able to buy things in better times was a joy and a hedge against bad times coming again.
So many elderly people thought everything they had was part of their legacy to their kids. No one in my family ever parted with anything until they died. I've spent the last three years downsizing and Swedish death cleaning. My grandmother left so much stuff behind that it took weeks for me age 45 and my elderly mother age 75 to clean out her third floor walk up apartment. She lived in a huge complex with a dumpster about a city block away. We were exhausted for a week. After that, my mom started cleaning out her house saying that would not "put her kids through this." I also was determined to declutter and downsize and spare my daughter the trauma of spending weeks cleaning out my house. So far, I've reduced my living space and possessions by 50%. I've never felt so free as I do now. You have to clean and maintain everything you own. So I plan another round this summer to see how lean I can be.
My Dad was a very value/money conscious Silent Generation man. Everything he had was “worth a lot of money”. He wanted my sisters and I to purchase family heirlooms…..😳😳. When he passed, we couldn’t give some of that stuff away. The things he spent his life working for is for the most part, in landfills or recycling centers.
My wifes older sister died. We had an auction service look at everything in the house to auction it off. They wouldn't even take the job. We ended up filling four dumpsters and throwing most of it away.
We collect contemporary art and I have asked all my 4 kids to put their names on the sculptures and art they want when we are tired of it or pass on. To my surprise they all picked different things and they love the pieces we have. The rest I couldn’t care less what they do with it.
Some families are like mine. My daughter bought the small house I was raised in. Both my kids want their stuff - the love the old historical family things - WWII era and before.
My father in law passed last year. We already had a house and all the furnishings so there wasn’t anything we wanted or needed. The China was a nightmare. Between my family and his we wound up with six sets going back three generations. We had to drive around to six different charity shops to get rid of it all
I own a retail company and we are constantly getting people to have us take their perfect furniture away free of charge. We actually entertained opening a used furniture business but you are correct. No one wants it. This stuff is absolutely gorgeous. Not a mark on it and just because it’s not brand new they do not want it even for free. Crazy times.
People want experiences not material items. My father and I walked around his house and he asked me what I would do with his stuff when he was gone and I told him I would pull up a big truck to haul it all away!
A few years ago my mom calls me and wants to give me her pink Limoge China set. Im thinking " because I'm gay, she thinks I wanted pink China. " My China is yellow and green.
That's why estate sales are so popular. I intend to set up a living trust so my house can't be sold. Anyone related can live in it, pay taxes. Save to buy your own house. This can be the starter home for countless grandkids.
My family owns Graystone Realty. We sell real estate and personal property as a complete estate downsizing and relocation company. Everything you said here is spot on
Thank you and much appreciated!
Where are you located, which region?
@@HappyQuailsLC I am in the SW
Yes! 💰06:51 Plan ahead, don't assume your kids will inherit everything, get valuables appraised and start having conversations about inheritance while your parents are still alive to avoid making hasty decisions later.
@@RickhelpsHey! I want it! Where can I fine it?
I started declutterring and making decisions about my things about a year ago. I just turned 60. I'm exhausted by how much work it is, about how hard it is to make decisions, to list things online to sell them. I constantly ask my daughter if she wants things, I'm storing for her the things that she wants but doesn't have room for right now. This whole process made me realize that I need to either enjoy the things that I have or get them out of my life. If I drop dead tomorrow, the probate judge will have to make decisions for me. I'd rather deal with the decisions myself. My house went from being full of clutter to feeling large. Now I'm laser focused on getting rid of everything that I don't use. Most importantly, I STOPPED SHOPPING
We started the decluttering process about a year and a half ago and it really is a chore. We have sold things, given stuff away and tossed a fair amount straight into the trash. No one wants a 25 year old mattress and box spring. No one wants a 35 year old love seat. I have lost count of how many boxes of books I've taken to our library and how many loads of stuff I've run to the donation center. As we prepare to downsize for retirement it is such a great relief to have that stuff gone. Had we kept all of that I think we would have felt stuck and unable to downsize. We will be turning 60 soon, too, and I think this is a good age to get these tasks accomplished while we're still fit and healthy enough to do it for ourselves.
@@goofygirl1311 Two years into retirement and I still cleaning drawers, shredding papers, discarding stuff…. I’m exhausted!
I won’t leave my children with that chores.
I'm 62 I absolutely could have wrote the post that you just wrote that has been my life for the past 6 months since I moved in with Mom I had a higher a kid with a pickup truck to start hauling stuff out to the road there was too much to even take to Goodwill in fact Goodwill didn't even want hardly any of it as far as mom knows she thinks it's all in storage
So if no one in the family wants your belongings and even your house, surely the surviving family members have enough sense to sell everything, especially a house, to simply sell it all. It doesn’t take much common sense to figure this out. 🤦🏻♀️
@@TeaRose9 I think the goal is to pare down the extraneous stuff that we are no longer using and is just taking up space. In our case, we'll also be downsizing into a smaller house so this is a necessary process. We'll still have stuff and a house, but it will be on a much smaller, easier to manage scale.
When I was in my 20s, I remember a lady saying. I’m in my 50s now and I’m trying to get rid of most things that I accumulated in my 30s &40s. I wish I had the money instead. Those words stuck with me until this day and I’m 63.
I'll be 63 in two months and I've been selling extra "stuff" since I turned 60. Downsizing takes a big load off of your mind! To anyone, I say get rid of MOST of your things by the time you reach 70. Only keep things that you just want to keep until you die, that's it.
However, there are people out there that do want it. Us boomers need help connecting with them!!
My mom is 68 years old and was a shopaholic. Just her addiction was to shop and buy like 100 purses and now I’m left with the landfill of shit.
@@CHRISCRAZZ-t7w Many charities will welcome " good stuff " . Our area is very impoverished & thrift shops , church groups, charities , women's shelters , etc. are actually in need of donations . When my mom passed , she had lovely ( like new !! ) clothes , shoes , bags , so we donated ( we called ahead to know what their policies were ) to a nursing home , seniors group , etc. We also gave all the flowers & plants fr. her funeral to those places & specific flowers to the senior home caregivers as they were so dear to her .
@@maryg.7790 Few and far between. Now the generations are 3-4 times younger than us. Trust me, they don't want it.
So true. We sold 95% of our belongings before moving to Hawaii. Could barely give away the stuff. High-end antiques/Persian rugs we bought sold for a fraction. But it's so liberating not owning so much stuff.
@@ArthurDentZaphodBeeb Thank you for the encouragement to “liberate” some of our stuff. I know I should….. aloha.
I rent out my seven bedrooms and furnish them all. I'm 68 years old.
I go to estate sales, I see black and white family picture. People don’t even want their family history.
It is sad that the conversation does not start early.
I took all the photo albums ….. sad that no one cared
For me that will go to digital then duplicated . There will be a generation that don’t care about family tree learning . It will please us older to pass on digital pictures even if others low intrest . Sadly after a few generations the family history might be gone forever .
@@vmobile890 We scanned a ton of my Dad's slides into digital prints and put them on a shared folder. My son who is an artist and animator made paintings of some of the slides.
It's too many memories that millennials on down can't understand UNLESS they spent A LOT of time around the entire extended family. Generations Y & Z don't know those people, never lived around people who had lives thru the mid-20th century or earlier, they just want portable, spendable cash.
I kept almost NOTHING when my parents died - I live in a studio apartment with no hope of ever owning a house - I simply do not have ANY room
Yep, and that's not counting the roughly half of young adults
How am I supposed to inherent all these large heavy furniture items when I'll never own a home to put it in and am likely going to be moving constantly with where work goes or when living situations become available to me?
My parents own no cash or financial assets, and all of their items were tossed out and replaced with cheap modern lower quality furniture mimicking older designs and has no cash liquidation value. I'm getting nothing and will lose time/money liquidating their items instead.
@@anonanon9489 wow..
That’s easy. You simply make a phone call and someone will take everything worth over $10. The rest you toss in a dumpster. I have no idea why anyone finds this difficult or exhausting and I cleaned out a huge hoard. The fact that there is nothing of value makes it easy.
Its a mindset.
Millennial here. The stuff is lovely but it's heavy as hell. When you're having to move to a one bedroom apartment, and may have to move again in two to three years because of rent hikes, you can't haul the big fancy stuff around.
That big stuff is for houses that you can live in for 30+ years.
Not a shoebox apartment. Sad to say.
@@Tormekia good god that’s the truth! Try tellin the movers you’re going to need all of you AND more to move this piece. Typical ‘oh no we got this no problem’. Stand and observe as they all grunt and drop item back down-oh and I promise no harm done because an inch isn’t a damaging height!😝😝😝🙏🏻😁
The big wealth transfer is to retirement homes and reverse mortgage companies
I am planning a reverse mortgage video soon
Interesting thought on wealth transfer 💰
05:50 Plan ahead and have a conversation with your adult children about what they want to do with your house and belongings when you're gone, as they may not want it and you may need to sell it to pay for long-term care.
This is the thing most people don't realize. People don't want to take care of their parents, so the retirement homes will. Medicare will take the house and drain the estate. Kids of most families aren't getting a cent other than what they can take before the government shows up to clean house.
@@Moving.To.Charleston proper planning is essential. You can keep the home, you can keep the money - it all has to be planned out well in advance, however. The government raiding family estates really upsets me. Kids don't have anything because the GOVERNMENT TAKES IT.
Thankfully my parents (so far) have not gone that route,. I'm at the age that I know so many friends/family that lost their parents and the parents had deep CC debt, deep medical debt, reverse mortgages, 2, or 3rd loans on the house..etc..etc..The vast majority of the wealth boomers stole and hoarded is going to go to hedge funds, not their kids. We aren't that far off from trillionaires at this point. I'll be more than fine even if I got nothing, but I have seen several friends that thought..thought..the inheritance was going to be a very needed reprieve and there is nothing.
For the record my sister and I have had these unpleasant conversations with my parents and we got a financial advisor for them. Luckily for everyone they are currently in a very good position, but for the older folk out there you need to have the conversation and start planning with your kids well before you are not able to.
You’re so right. I clean houses and all the older people are complaining that their children don’t want any of their stuff. They just want cash.
That is for sure but honestly I can't blame the children because they have different taste in furniture.
@@Rickhelps There is something to be said for sentiment and history though.
@@mgkelly3389 That is true.
I hope to spend all of my money. God willing.
I mean at the time parents are getting rid of stuff it might only be the grandchildren that need stuff. Most kids already have their setup completed when their parents are sizing down.
Yup. Sell off your parents 100 year old antiques and use the money to buy nice, new, made in China MDF furniture instead. Particle board is so much more elegant than hand crafted pieces made out of solid wood.
People don’t care, they want “new” made in China with child and slave labor.
Not only that, taking some of your parent's stuff doesn't have to be only about how much it's worth $$-wise. Sad...
-- BR
Nah my in laws had furniture they bought at Sears in the 80’s and 90’s. Not the cutest and definitely not high quality. My husband and I get our furniture from estate sales or invest in solid wood when we can. The biggest difference is they the in laws had a huge house and we have a small house. We are already full. Plus the cost and labor of shipping/driving a ratty old tan plaid couch across the US is insane
Nobody ever said they were smart......
@@wplants9793Exactly. Same with my mother in law. I would have LOVED to get some high quality vintage furniture 😂
Thats why i am swedish death cleaning so my son doesn't gave to deal eith "my stuff".he doesn't want it.i just cleaned out my moms house of 60 yrs.EXHAUSTING
Wow 60 years could mean a ton of stuff
Only someone who has had to do that, understands the burden that’s left for the children. God bless you.
I did this last summer. 6 loads a day for 7 days straight to the dump. I used to be a reseller so my understanding on values of things goes pretty far. 99% of the things in her house had zero value and she smoked like a chimney so it all smelled horrible anyway. Luckily we found a buyer to help pay for her memory care
@@skeezix8156 I guarantee you that there are pickers digging through dumps and garbage cans that know their stuff.
So you know what it feels like.
Zeducation had a clip where someone said they were driving by their parents' house, saw them cleaning the garage and continued driving. Someone commented to that saying - better to help your parents clean their garage now instead of by yourself after they've died.
The lightbulbs are sort of coming on in the kids’ minds that modern furniture has a short lifespan, but antiques have stood the test of time.
Tools too. Out of seven of us, it appears I'm the only one who wants the old tools and antiques.
Quality, handmade furniture can still be bought new, but it’s expensive
@@afridgetoofar1818 I have made some of my own furniture, but it’s much more cost effective to refinish and restore antiques. I do a lot of them.
@@rebeccanajera-moya3621 There’s money, time and effort to be invested in refurbishing, too. If I have to refurbish something, it will most likely sit in there for years before I can get to it. That’s why you see it in the homes of people with money, because it’s either DIY (which not everyone can or has the time to), or pay someone to do it (which won’t be cheap for a high quality piece).
@@Michaelfatman-xo7gv Many old kitchen tools are much better than their contemporary counterparts.
Im 52 and i have stopped accumulating stuff. I realize i have already amassed a pile of things that would take alot of time + effort to sell off or donate.
There is no harm in stuff. We all have things we have accumulated over time that mean a great deal to us.
Same. I have a lot to downsize. I’ve recently bought 2 different preowned china patterns. My daughter recently used a set to serve me Mother’s Day tea. Loved it!
That is so smart! you are ahead of the game! I realized this 3 yrs ago at about the same age. It is so liberating and i am so much happier now as a result.
If it's stuffed away in a closet and hasn't been used in years you probably don't need it. My husband had some framed movie posters that were fine to hang in a basement or a dorm room but they aren't something you would want in your main living areas. We're in Florida and no longer have a basement. This is the biggest home that we will ever live in. If we aren't using an item now we never will use it. He let those posters go. I was proud of him.
@@M3LTUP I think I filed up the dump myself, it never made a dent in the stuff that was accumulated over my lifetime.
Please, people, don’t be offended when your family doesn’t want your stuff. It’s simply that your kids have different taste and interest than you. also, they are accumulating or have accumulated their own stuff. they may not have any room for your stuff. also, remember, it’s just things. It’s just inanimate objects. don’t burden them with this stress. It’s not fair.
It’s not so much the stuff. It’s the historical meaning behind the stuff like the way a wedding dress gets passed through generations. Could u imagine if history did not preserve their historical stuff and just want money that in so many countries r worth nothing. If that was the case, it’s like they never existed and u can ignore whatever biblical, cultural beliefs/dispute folks r fighting for. We could have easily erased slavery existing if we threw away all historical slave stuff and called it junked! How horrible 🙁
@@ehm2943 if you want to preserve history, you don’t have to burden your kids with your stuff. You could donate your things.
yes, unless they don't want your stuff but have ikea trash at home. 😂
@@eng3d What is ikea...sounds offensive.
Well even without a ton of stuff we can talk to our families and share our stories. You don't have to keep tons of things.
Here's another issue - many older people RUFUSE to be proactive about anything - from making plans to dismantle their household (kind of understandable) to making sure there is a POA in place. The irony is I am a Gerontologist - I knew what should be done in preparation - my parents refused to do anything, preferring to let everything fall on my shoulders - culminating in a heated discussion as they were in hospice care just to get a POA so I could pay their bills and for them to have a will so everything wasn't dragged out in probate.
I interviewed a probate attorney today. The video will post tonight.
Yeah, they don't want to think about painful things or make hard decisions.
I went through the same with my parents.
It boils down to selfishness.
@@homelessmillionaire1 Sometimes people can't see beyond the pain of losing the good parts of their lives and the things that gave them pleasure to see how it affects others.
We have antique furnishings all over our house. Solid wood almost everywhere. I look at other millennial houses and they're full of disposable junk that cost as much or more.
Mind-blowing.
When you have to move 3 times in 4 years you don’t want 300 pound expensive and delicate furniture. Hilarious that you can’t make the logic work here
@@gwills9337 Dude, I'm going to be 41 this year. If I have to move that often at this point, I have screwed up badly and furniture is the least of my problems. Actually, unless you're in the military or apartment-hopping in college, that's probably a screwup period.
I live in the SF Bay Area where the tastes of many of those under 40 not appreciating the quality of the items left by those who built the place. My largely restored but tastefully updated Victorian is mostly furnished and stocked with 19th century items bought for less than Ikea prices from estate sales, from liquidations, or left by house sellers. Many of my hand tools are pre-1920, and power tools pre-1970, but many of the newer ones were found in the garage never-used or NIB. Same for kitchen appliances often NIB. It is also nice when you can find a $200-1000 pair of shoes for $5 or pick up a handmade bespoke suit of fine fabric almost for free which can be tailored for $200 to be a $2000 suit.
When I sold one of my houses, I included a fully stocked kitchen with all appliances and gadgets, commercial grade pots and pans, cleaning supplies, paint, spare flooring and tile, and a full set of basic tools in the garage which I had swapped out over time.
@@Daekar3 Enjoy your antiques now because at 41 they are probably not too much for you to heft and haul around but, trust me, they will feel like anchors weighing you down once you get past the age of 50 or 55.
@@goofygirl1311 The only one that is really heavy can be disassembled, actually. Even the couch made during the reign of Napolean (has been recovered and such in the intervening time) is relatively easy to move with sliders on the feet.
If I'm changing residences, I'll have some help with the heavy stuff anyway, so I'm not worried. The biggest risk will be the curved glass on the front of a cabinet that my family has had since immigrating from Europe, but that's just a tough thing to deal with no matter your age. I'm honestly shocked it hasn't been broken yet, but we did do our best to be careful.
My boomer dad’s Porsche isn’t looking too bad.
Depends on the model, age and shape.
Those repair bills won't look bad.....they'll look catastrophic.
Go figure. Cars and money.
Don't kid yourself, his girlfriend is getting it.
@@unacceptablebilly1689 sounds great
My mom is 72, widowed, and still lives in my parents' 2500 square foot home. She has it packed to the gills with furniture, knick-nacks, rooms full of designer clothes, decor items, statues, linens, sets of china, sets of large scale ornate furniture, duplicates and triplicates of everything. My parents were married for 35 years with a decent middle class income and my mom loved to shop. She amassed HUGE amounts of stuff in the early 1990s-2010. When I go visit she tells me (like she's done me a big favor), "when I die, all this will be yours." Well, crap - that is a huge task and disaster for me to deal with while grieving her death. Thanks, mom. I'm a divorced, single parent, on a single income, and live in the city in an 800 square foot apartment. I have a decent job in IT, but with inflation and the state of the economy I live on a budget in a small apartment. Even if I wanted her stuff, which I don't, where would I put it? What the hell am I supposed to do with all my mom's crap? It just looks like a lot of work and a big, huge, annoying, and time-sucking disaster that I'll have to deal with when she passes. I may keep or sell the house (it was my childhood home, after all), but all the spending and shopping she did over the years was for HER entertainment as it provides no value to me. The time and effort I'll have to put into getting rid of all that junk is going to probably end up costing me money compared to what I'll be able to liquidate it for. The only things I want are the family photos and one Roseville pottery vase that was passed down from my great grandma.
Try finding someone who loves to sell stuff online, or has their own collectible/thrift store, to make a deal in the future. Then they’ll move the stuff out. It is a lot of work. Younger generations have the energy to do it.
How about having an honest conversation with her now, that you don’t want her stuff so she can start getting rid of it?
@@Lnel3799 how does a person lovingly convince a senior parent that what they think is a goldmine is actually unwanted junk? Some aging folks will not accept whatever you try to discuss
@@lmor7110 doesn’t hurt to try. Some people are uncomfortable with having honest conversations but they’re necessary. It’s not healthy to participate in people’s delusions. If they’re offended by the truth, that is their problem to overcome.
When the time comes, hire an estate sale company. Take the things you mentioned and let them deal with the rest. I have a friend with such a company. She said it’s awful watching children grieve while worrying about what they’re supposed to do with all their parents’ stuff. My friend brings peace of mind and objective thinking to the process.
When my dad died my mom stayed in the house another three years, and then finally moved in with us. We sold her house and had an estate sale. They managed everything, what wasn’t sold was either donated or taken to a resale shop. All I had to do was sign the contract and take a percentage of the total. Took a tremendous load off my mind.
BTW if you’re looking for a business opportunity, estate sales seems like a growing one. People are willing to pay someone to manage all the clutter. Everyone wins.
I live in a retirement area and check out the estate sales now and then. There's an astonishing amount of Hummel figurines, pressed clear cut glassware that no one ever used, tables and tables full of 'entertainment' dishware no one ever used. You can tell how old the owners were from the decade their 'stuff' was popular.
I went to help clean out my grandfathers house after he was placed in a home. My dad said go over and take some things. I took his deer mounts, a very large Robert Wood painting in the basement, his mother Mary he had on his nightstand, a Lenox of bugs bunny and his folded veteran flag. I was born in 1992. The stuff doesn’t replace my grandparents.
Glad you took some memories. When I go they'll be no saved memories of my life.
Boomers grew up in a time when the world was recovering from the 2nd World war, whose parents had had to live in times of scarcity. New found affluence made it possible to reclaim those lost years by letting kids collect and have hobbies. My parents bought me model kits, comics, books, scooters, roller skates, sports gear and much more, some of which is now collectible, most of which is now considered junk. It was a different world.
As a boomer , I feel our parents ( " The Greatest Generation " , raised during the Depression & WWll survivors ) also taught our generation to appreciate the hard work that provided our good lives & educations . We were taught to live within our means & put away money " for a rainy day " . Many of us still emulate their values & try to pass those values on .
It was a kinder, gentler world.
Which is it collectable or junk ?
@@cynthiajohnston424 unfortunately, they didn't pass on the value to you of wanting to leave a better world for your children. So you're spending all the money and burning up the planet. Thanks for that
Back then it was common practice for people just starting out to furnish their starter homes with used...everything. It was a mismatched jumble of furniture and we hung onto everything. Up until a year or so ago, we had at least 5 different sets of plate patterns in our kitchen cabinets. I finally got rid of those and for the first time we have a set of plates and bowls that actually all match and they are microwavable and chip resistant, too.
Estate sales are popping in Texas with buyers of all ages! I often wait an hour in line just to get into a house to see the stuff! There are also tons of people who refinish old furniture and sale it for good money!
My SIL had an estate sale in Dallas when her mother passed away. Home filled with gorgeous antiques. Almost no one came. There’s just too much “good stuff” out there for sale cheap. Millennials and Gen Z just aren’t that interested in it. They are not collectors.
I went to one in Texas and the auctioneer was selling not only the stuff from the family, but also stuff they had received for free leftover from other estate sales.
Huge numbers of people at these sales. Sale ran for 3 days. Must be a Texas thing. Where I am on the West Coast no one wants that big chest of drawers and dining room table and chairs.
Original artwork is worth keeping. Beanie babies, Walmart decor, and stained couches are not. Oh and guns, guns are worth keeping.
Where guns are concerned, it depends on the state. Here in Connecticut, a gun can only have one owner and that person's name is on the registration. You can't give someone a gun. You can't inherit a gun. Even a spouse can't have a gun go through probate and take ownership of it. The owner of a gun has to go through tons of paperwork with the state and the recipient has to go through a background check and fingerprints and the paperwork has to have all the serial numbers. Otherwise, someone from the Firearms Division at the State Trooper barracks has to come and take the firearms and record everything, make, model, caliber, serial number, and they are destroyed. I wish we didn't have all the guns from my FIL. They're in my husband's name now, so I can't even put one in our vehicle and transport it. Only he is supposed to even touch them. I wish he would just sell them.
@@warthog473I don’t feel sorry for you. You voted for those policies.
@@warthog473glad I live in a Red state
@@afridgetoofar1818 Same in my Red state. Guns are personal property and you can do with it as you want. Freedom is awesome!😎
@@afridgetoofar1818 I just don’t get the fascination with guns. When my dad died, he had guns that none of his five kids wanted. Unless you are a legitimate hunter, guns are a burden that you need to safeguard from children. If I can make it thru life without owning a gun, I consider that a good life. And, yes, I’m happily living in a blue state💙.
I inherited an oak secretary desk from my grandmother when my grandmother went to the old folks care home & her kids helped dispose of furniture in order to sell her house as planned to pay for extra care she needed. While the working desk was nice, but not grand, it had been made by my great-great grandfather who was emigrant, becoming a lumberjack in the wilds of the Wisconsin Territory, passing it on to my great grandfather who did all the paperwork for his business in it, before my grandmother had it in her downstairs office/spare room where she kept all her business papers & paid bills. I shipped it out West and used it for a few decades before I passed it on to a niece (stories & all) when I downsized moving across town. She, like me, likes that you can flip up the desk surface door to had your paperwork when people come over. Glad she wanted that desk, and the kids that bought my old house wanted all the bookshelves because none of those would fit in my much smaller place now.
Something might be worth a lot of money but you still have to find someone who actually wants to buy it.
My 99 year old grandma still thinks the offers from 30 years ago are still good. Her Shirley Temple pitcher is worth less than shipping and the doll collectors are dead
Moms Sonja Henning doll isn’t worth what she thought, in fact, it’s not worth the shipping, sad
We moved my dad in with us and had an auctioneer go theough his entire household and auction off what was valuable (almost nothing) and dispose of the rest (after we took what we wanted with dad's permission). He got $600 for his whole household after fees. But it was worth it.
Easiest way to clear out the house!
Unfortunately not uncommon.
Yes, this. It's not worth the time, usually.
@@vocalityovertime it's amazing what people will buy on ebay, though. I have a friend who sells old junk on ebay and its a fairly lucrative side hustle
When my MIL died , my husband & his siblings all nicely agreed to go the auction route thinking their mom had valuable collectibles ; no one did any prior research into the collection of " stuff " . Turned out that her " collectibles " were not worth anything but at least the ( rental ) house was quickly & efficiently cleared out . The family then thoroughly cleaned & painted the interior which the landlord greatly appreciated .
A lot of people don't even have the room to store it !
That is true. I live in a small studio apartment. I don't have room for other people's belongings. I already have some family items under my bed and in the one closet and I would love to have that space opened up or used for other items. Just what I have from others isn't much, but in this small of a place it takes up a significant amount of space. I have no intention of winding up with more unwanted items.
@@andrewbrendan1579 Right??? Me too.
or the house even. that financial crisis in 09 got rid of house. i put stuff out and gave it away free. nice stuff. tokk less than a half hour and everything was gone. free is a nice word.
“No one wants the house” ……..except for the equity 😮
It is not a diss to the parents. Just a simple fact that most kids already have established their home when the parents pass.
I wanted my parents home, but my sister is a psychopath and proved that my life would be hell living with her. Besides if one of the beneficiaries doesn’t want the house, the executor of the will has to turn it into money.
by the time we’re receiving anything we don’t need it anymore. we could have used that furniture, that table, those decorative items when we first married or bought our first house. now everything we’re gifted just stacks up in the garage and eventually donated. most of it isn’t heirloom or truly valuable anyways it’s just “stuff” that was accumulated
Don't worry, we are all aware y'all don't intend to leave any of us a damn dime.
@@rayme4rawyou had terrible representation !
All you had to do was pony up the half your sister wanted .
People should buy less "stuff". I have some antiques that were handed down. Cost me $0. I never bought fine china. My "fine art" is from Goodwill. My nice brown leather sofa and loveseat cost me $400 at the city wide yard sale. My dining room table I bought used from my best friend. I have glassware above my cabinet that were handed down from my grandmother.
I buy stocks, crypto, real estate, and put money into my high yield savings account and HSA.
Kids want houses. I've already given my oldest two my rental homes. Everything is mortgage free.
I agree and this is the mentality that should be more popular. I tell people this all of the time. You are a rare breed of a parent indeed. Most parents in this country can't compare to you. So many people with no home being passed down. It only takes 1 generation to pass down their homes to their children to solve the homelessness problem, yet after 10+ generations so many people are still paying mortgages/rents, or are homeless. It's sad. 😢
@@Jack-jp6ki We purchased a lot for our nephew on the understanding that even if he needs to live elsewhere that he can always sell it and buy somewhere else. When we purchased, we considered location and if it was likely to retain its resale value.
You hit the nail on the head. when my parents past away I had to sell their home in Sun City West Arizona and had to go through all their belongings. I was overwhelmed, but made sure the family got everything that they wanted and the rest, I had to go through an estate sale. I was amazed at how little people were paying for furniture and other items that were once valuable (parents had a professional evaluate their property years earlier). I still have the china, but never use it. The silverware I ended up selling to a jeweler for it's silver content as we would never use it and no one wanted to buy it as silverware. I live in Surprise Arizona which helped make things a little easier, but I couldn't fit most everything from their house into ours nor would I want to. You are so right though that nowadays no one wants our stuff. I am trying to figure out how to pass my stuff on to relatives right now. I have no children. I have allot of genealogy information and old documents from ancestors I am afraid will be lost in the future and end up in the trash or on display at an antique store. You ever go to an antique store and see really old antique wedding photos and wonder why it ended up there, or what happened to the descendants that they would not want keep that history. Makes me sad.
Thanks for sharing that
Some families were abusive generation after generation, and this is the reason why children and grandchildren don't want to keep looking at the source of their misery.
I've noticed that only healthy, loving families keep preserving their family history, which makes sense.
I have no children either and one of the things I've considered doing is putting that family history online, like here on TH-cam, so it can exist somewhere even after the physical items are gone.
@@OnlyOneName Spot on!
I’m the same, no children, the keeper of the family lore, photos and heirlooms. None of my brothers kids give a damn about the family lore or history or heirlooms. So I’m trying to figure out what to do with all the stuff that they will just throw in the trash.
OFFER UP ..... We posted stuff we didn't want on "offer up" and people came right away to get it. I told my wife to let them know they have to pick it up themselves I am not going to risk hurting my back moving it, no exceptions. It worked out great we got rid of a lot of stuff. It seemed like mostly Immigrants wanted most of it. Free stuff when you have nothing is better than having to pay money for it and they moved out no problems.
I was an immigrant in the late 80s. My roommate & I furnished our apartment from elderly people's garage sales. Everything from furniture to drapes & in between. Our pad looked like a throwback to the 1970s 😂
This guy is spot on! Before my mom diedshe cleared all the junk out of her house because she didn’t want to be a burden on people after she died. One big mistake parents make is giving the house to the kids to own together. When has that ever worked out? Usually one of the kids holds everything up and then the rift happens between the kids.
It seems kids are not attached to their parents.
100% right. Seen this almost every single time. One sibling just wants the cash. The other siblings can’t afford to buy out the equity of the house, so it goes up for sale. And as usual, makes “bad feeling” for the other siblings.
@@pear7554kids are biologically predisposed to attach and seek relationships with their parents. It says a lot about the parent if this isn’t happening.
The house thing is so true. My parents have a farm that I would die to own, but my parents want yo be "fair" so they are splitting it between me and my brother. There is no way I can buy him out so I am shafted. The lesson I learned is I will not be doing this with my kids. If any of them want our property, they will receive it. If none want it they it can be split.
Thank God I’m an only child.
Sadly, many of the older folks whose stuff will have to be disposed of live in areas where there are scores of other older folks whose stuff needs to be disposed of so there is no viable outlet for it all. Florida and Arizona are saturated markets for senior stuff.
Yes, drive around Sun Lakes on Fri and Sat and see all the estate sale signs.
Yup, I had to go to several thrift stores in the Hemet area to finally find one that would take a truckload of the dead aunts stuff. I had to be there first in line in the morning, soon as the cargo container was full, they stopped taking donations. Sad. Tons of retirement villages in that area.
@@Rickhelps I have found that the problem with estate sales in Fl. seem to have already been picked over by the estate manager and their dealer friends.
We're planning on retiring in an over 55 active adult community. We are getting rid of a good amount of the stuff in our current house and will by brand new furnishings to fit our new space in Florida. The goal is to have an attractively furnished house that could be sold "turn key" if we or our children need to. It'll be furnished much like a vacation rental. Little to no "old person" stuff, lol.
You are exactly right. I just spoke to an older gentleman about this topic a couple days ago. I use to go junkin in the NE. Many times I would find very nice items put out on the curb because someone passed away or were placed in a nursing home, and their adult children didn't want any of their parents household items. Just take it! They only wanted the house and money; and, will probably sell the house for more cash. Happens all the time. Stop leaving all your stuff to your adult children, SELL IT and ENJOY YOUR LIFE!
Thanks!
Thanks!!
I have my grandfathers small tool box, I remember him every time I use it with great memories. Sister got my grandmothers ice cream scooper. Same thing. All the furniture, dishes, everything else is just a burden.
I’m still traumatized a year later after clearing out my parents’ 5200 sf house that they lived in for over 35 years 🙈
That is a huge home!
Jonathan Franzen was hilarious in describing a similar situation in his novel THE CORRECTIONS.
We had been in our house for nearly 20 years when we decided to relocate for a job and I was shocked by how much stuff that we had in that house. We had to pare down and stage the house for sale within a short time frame and the amount of junk that we set out at the curb for trash pick up was embarrassing - it literally looked like we were clearing out a hoarder house even though our house never looked anything like a hoarder house. I was running things nonstop to the donation center and a storage unit. It was exhausting and eye opening. And here we are again, 10 years later, going through round 2 at our current house only at a much more relaxed and thoughtful pace - thank goodness. Don't wait for a pressing need to start this process.
I know an elderly person who owns a house that has a concrete basement, much like a bunker. You would think that he would have used that basement to store his doomsday food and water, or some gold and silver bullion bars.
But no, he uses the basement to store his huge collection of 40,000 books collected over a period of 50 or more years.
This person is now over 80 years of age, and he's still hanging onto all his books!
Maybe he should sell his books so he could enjoy knowing someone else will actually read them?
@@msalazar413
There's a used book retailer who has offered him shop space to place 1,000 books at a time on consignment, but he has rejected the offer.
And with decades of seeing what happens to collections of “stuff”, most will go in the garbage, unless it can be sold for cash.
OMG that is so my father. He left us nothing but books!!!!
Sounds like my grandma. Its a mental disorder. Ive seen farms wirh big huge storage sheds full of trash and useless junk, while the equipment sits outside in the weather. Many these people are crazy lunatics with myriad mental issues.
After my father‘s death, I had to dispose of a a house full of stuff. A huge house, filled with art, antiques, and collectibles. I think the auction company must have been there loading up a big truck on at least six occasions. Probably more times than that. I still have some stuff in storage.
Certain items I didn’t want to sell because of the value.
You never knew what would actually bring in big bucks, but the rest had to go, regardless. And so some people got good deals. It was either sell the stuff or spend most of the rest of my life trying to get a good price for everything.
The auction guy said that 10 or 15 years ago, everything would have been worth 3x as much. But times change.
The auction guy is right. 10 years ago the antiques still had an audience.
Putting stuff in storage is a huge waste of money. Also moving long distance will cost thousands when your stuff might be worth 2K or 3K at best.
@@Gary65437 This stuff really is worth money. That’s why I didn’t get rid of it. Valuable artwork, valuable rugs, valuable furniture. None of it is big and bulky, so it’s in a POD container. When I want it, they’ll ship it wherever.
Dear Old People: maybe it’s better that YOU take control of your “stuff” and sell it yourself so YOU could benefit from your stuff. Sell it, take the money, enjoy your ride. And if there is any left over by the time you are buried, they can easily split it up and spend it themselves.
I tried to tell this to my parents for years, and now that we had to move them into assisted living, we are dealing with all their stuff, and deferred home maintenance. Not pleased at all.
Respectful, thoughtful, and helpful offspring are hard to come by. Just remember the largest transfer of wealth in history will possibly benefit some of you.
Folks over 40 tend to have a very inflated view of their possessions. When i downsized i couldn't GIVE my dining room furniture, grandfather clocks, etc away. I ended up using OfferUp at $0 and then mainly used a rolloff dumpster to just toss the rest. The first few things in that big can are tough - but you soon will be cheerfully tossing all that unnecessary stuff. Old Rolltop desk you can't give away? Off to the Driveway Dumpster! DONE. I've been to the "end" of Estate Sales - the part where all that stuff for sale goes right into the garbage. Everyone's life ends that way. No biggie - circle of life. Postponing it only makes it worse it's honestly a form of Hoarding holding on to that crap
You mean people over 60. Gen X isn't enamored with stuff either.
I come from a line of hoarders. I think that they think that I want all this stuff, but most of it is stuff that they found dumpster diving or at garage sales. I've tried to explain this many times to little avail.
I plan on all my assets being converted to as much cash as possible. Most home furnishings are worthless.
Smart!
I gave everything to a thrift store until one day after I dropped down the back gate the staff declined a nice 4 piece expensive bedroom set. They were full! I found another thrift place to take my full truck of furniture. I didn't know what Id do with all of it at 8:30 pm, otherwise. Now, I have only 6 pieces of furniture in the whole house. I completely cleared 1/2 of my kitchen cupboards..I even donated 75% of my daily use type of mugs. dishes, cookware. Whenever I get together with friends, we eat out We no longer have dinner parties at home.
They are too much work @ our age
Ha, this video is exactly right. I have liquidated three “estates” for family and friends. Here’s what I learned…..nobody wants your crap. That piece of furniture your great grandfather made, in the trash. Photos of family that the current generation knows nothing about, in the trash! The China, the books, the quilts, clothes, tools…if it’s worth a couple of dollars, garage sale…then….in the trash. If you want something special to go to your family, give it now while you are alive. Because really, they don’t care or want it. Seen this 100% of the time. Your “stuff” is worthless. And here is another thing I’ve learned, giving items in a will is just a suggestion. In reality, most of what you want as your final wishes will not happen. Seen that too. People just want the money….PERIOD!
We are doing the same thing. It really hurts. Everything they worked for is on the curb.
@@ffarmchickenwe are in the same boat. We have ran garage sales before but this was a disaster. Most of this stuff is going to the curb.
@@VictorianMaid99But they enjoyed it while they had it.
People forget about that.
@@Joce123 that is true
Old folks believe they have treasures. In reality, it's junk. The landfill will get the junk.
Ding ding ding! Notice that most of these folks seem to have invested heavily into "stuff" when they should've been investing into assets. Stuff is junk. Assets have value.
I have treasures but it's amongst junk so you're not entirely wrong.
This is the type of thinking I’ve come across where people in my own family have away a quarter million of “junk”. My aunt sold her parents’ house and gave away the contents. There were Levi’s unworn from the late 40’s and 50’s in a back closet stacked to the top, comic books in mint condition in the attic from the same era, baseball cards from the early 50’s, toys, an old running Vespa from the late 50’s. On and on. I understand if it’s grandma’s knitting collection that fills up three rooms but there’s people who just don’t understand the values of these items.
@@skeezix8156 She literally gave away hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stuff that would of easily been sold. That's crazy !
@@skeezix8156 The really fine pcs. are still selling well but in large part to Europe.
I’m 53 and retired. Decorating my home and beautiful antiques are found so cheaply now. I love depression era stuff!
That might become a new trend over time
My mom has a house full of depression era stuff I’d like to give away!! I recently visited her. She told me she wanted to move into a senior living facility in her home town 1000 miles from where she currently lives. I said, “Great, this would be a good time to sell off a bunch of stuff because it will be a one bedroom apartment.” She then told me she would move it all and put it in storage and then I could have it when she died. For too long her well meaning friends have told her the antiques and her house are worth more than her house. When my mom has told me that I have said in response, “Only if there’s a buyer.”
@@Rickhelps It will at some point.
A friend of mine had their grandmother pass away and inherited a bunch of stuff. The sad part is my friend cant afford anything bigger than an appartment and had to store them in boxes. There was an inspection of their appartment and almost got evicted because of the clutter. They had to throw out most of it just to keep from becoming homeless. I think alot of people just dont have the space anymore for this stuff.
I was lucky, my parents were cheap skates. They always bought the cheapest stuff on offer and kept it running as long as possible. My dad was quite handy at that. Of all the crap we threw away we only kept my mother's sewing machine, jewellery and an odd, unassuming small fold-away table we found in the basement that almost ended with the rest of the stuff. But I have an eye for furniture and checked it out on the internet. It turned out to be of English manufacture, English Oak, early 1950s and was worth 10 000 dollars. My mother must have bought it at some boot sale for a dollar or 2 and didn't know what to do with it. She was like that, bless her soul.
She probably had a dream/plan for that table that never came to fruition.
I kept as much as I could. My brother threw out as much as he could. I'm glad I kept what I did, although not for the money. My dad was pretty kick ass. A US CB marine, service in Korea and Vietnam I'm proud of him. And miss him dearly.
We are placing so much usable items on the curb. It is making me sick.
@@VictorianMaid99 People in our neighborhood will list the stuff that they are putting out at the curb so that if anyone can use it they can come and take it. Otherwise, it goes with the trash. If you literally can't give it away it probably is trash.
The self-storage industry is worth about $20bn annually. Jus’ sayin’
Florida has been flooded with self-storage places after the pandemic named it “free” Florida. Thousands now learning the cost of living means not even being able to rent a small apartment for less than $2K per month with no storage. Most will probably leave the state and leave their stored items behind too.
My mom has basically spent all of her money on cat knickknacks all around the house, I don’t know how many times I’ve told her. Hey thanks for spending all of our inheritance on this crap.
Boomer here. I already downsized to a condo. Took about 4 yard sales and many trips to goodwill. I just have some wooden items handmade by my Dad, a tea cart, my son’s cradle, and a magazine rack (😂) handmade quilts from my Grandma, and many generations of pictures going back to my great grandparents. My condo is in a trust for my son. They can do what they may with the rest.
You are a very caring kind person to do what you have done!
@@TraceyBergum It was really prompted by my older brother. Our Mom was in a nursing home for 6 years. He visited her often and heard the horror stories around him from families arguing about everything, losing everything, making really bad decisions. So, he put all his affairs in order, then so did I.
Our Mom was really organized about it all, had a long term care policy, etc, but didn’t protect her money so it was all spent on the nursing home. She would have never wanted that to happen. And it took a ton of hours to clear out her house. She was a bit of a packrat, but I’ve lived in 5 states so you collect less clutter when you move a lot.
Good planning to put it a trust. Few issues with transfer then since the owner, the trust, is still here after your go.
@@JBoy340a My brother visited my Mom a lot when she was in a nursing home. He heard families around him talking in the common areas and heard the disasters that occurred when no plans were in place and siblings arguing about random stuff because Mom’s wants were not in writing. It’s kinda sad to plan “ahead”, but totally worth it “after” the end.
@@katydid2877 thanks. There should be more education about this. Especially with the large cohort of boomers who are aging and going to be passing on over the next 30 or so years.
Plenty of people want your stuff... you just think it's worth 10x what you paid. Normal people cant afford anything right now and your rich spoiled kids are the ones not wanting it.
Nope. They don't want everything. We've listed stuff for FREE and had no takers. Some stuff really is worthless. No one wants your old, chipped Pfaltzgraff plates that were old and chipped when they were handed down to you. Not everything that we own is a priceless heirloom. In fact, some of that stuff is downright worthless.
Thank you ! I'm 73 and although I realize noone in the family wants our stuff, my husband feels otherwise.
He gets a dreamy look on his face and says "oh (55 year old son) is going to LOVE looking at these and having them .. 100s of books, hundreds of DVDs, Dungeon and Dragon figures and junk. Sigh. Nope. He'll be crushed or his son will have to take it and pretend.
You are not alone
Maybe his son will love a few of the best books and Dungeon/dragon figurines that remind him most of his father. Some people keep items for memories, rather than pictures. Why wouldnt his son want just a few pieces as a memory of his father's hobby?
Books - nobody wants them, not even for decor! I used to give to gardener, for his son’s gf. Gave to ex-husband for decoration only. Now, no one. Many go into trash.
My uncle recently got rid of his entire DVD Blu-ray collection including the blu-ray player. He now watches most things on youtube and his son didn't want it either. We took a few items but I was worried we wouldn't be able to get rid of it all. Thankfully, a cousin took the entire shebang off our hands.
I took books to the library once. They were pleased with some of the items. They told me that they had a giveaway table near the entrance for things they didn't want so they took the entire box off my hands.
YUP! They don't want thousands of rare illustrated books, impressionist art, or antique furniture.
All worth good money. But they don't want to go through the hassle of selling it they just want money cash in hand.
Thousands? No. That would be a full time job to maintain, store, and/or sell. A few or one of each? Yes, please.
Yeah, cause the average American boomer's house is filled with Monets.
gauloise - 😂😂😂😂
Some folks need a wake up call. If you think those old magazines are worth anything, run them by the library and see if they will take them for their book sale. Our library wouldn't take them. We listed them and no takers. I finally took them to Goodwill and it would not surprise me if they were tossed straight into the dumpster!
Yet it is homes with to much stuff, but the grown children had to go out and buy already because you didn't hand down when they needed it.
Ding ding ding! Also 1 bedroom apartments don't have much room for a HORDE. 😂
When my sister married, she had a pick of glassware to take. And when that broke with kids, she took some more. lol. We could probably furnish four houses with glassware to spare. We ended up in that predicament as mom has a large family and our house was the house to visit for Christmas. And in the days before disposable plates, you had to actually have extra plates. She recently gave a stack of amber colored glass (Corelle?) plates to a sister who was willing to take them.
I passed a complete set of Currier and Ives to a friend in her early 60s who likes that nostalgic country winter stuff. Sells for about $275 on ebay. My grandmother collected it for me so I was happy to send it on to someone I love. My kid doesn’t want any of this stuff. And never did. Now he lives in an 800 ft.² apartment in a large city with his partner. They don’t have room for an extra bag of chips. I told him when I die, just have somebody clear the house out he doesn’t have to do it and shouldn’t. Estate sale or give to not for profit thrift shop that spays and neuters pets for people that can’t afford it.
Maybe because they were still using the stuff!
@@kysmik8214 which is fine, but then it's very silly to complain that we don't want it when we already have our own 20 years later that we're also still using
Had a really hard time getting anyone interested in my recently deceased mom's stuff. Then I visited a consignment store with row after row of cubicles filled with stuff that must also have failed to sell at estate sales. After that, I understood why our estate sale had gone so poorly.
Antique stores are full of boomer garbage on consignment that should be sold by the pound or pressed into recycling
My mother's house was filled with valuable household goods. Top shelf serving sets and silver in mint condition, etc. Some of it from as early as the '50s. My entire life I was forbidden from touching any of it. This was how people used to acquire and store wealth, so naturally it was off limits to a child's grubby hands. I did eventually get to touch all of it, though; when I picked it up to toss it all in a dumpster. That could have been the most traumatizing aspect of settling their affairs.
Ugh, that must have been awful. But people don't realize what a chore it is to sell and get any kind of money at all for that "valuable" stuff. You might wind up selling your Mom's prized serving set for 20 bucks and the person either won't show up to get it or they'll want you to spend money shipping it to them. I once had a person ask me to make a 2 hour round trip to deliver a bag of FREE school supplies to them. Ummm, no.
Oh my gosh I thought my mother was the only one like that there's always these items and every room that you're not allowed to touch or use why try to live that way when you have a kid I just think that's so selfish and because of the amount of stuff that she had I had to get rid of a lot of it and mom thinks it's in storage she's 90
When my parents passed it was middle winter and storming in Wisconsin
We ended up filling 3 dumpsters. The 1 thing I regret wa throwing away a big box of sea shells that had been collected 50 years earlier on vacations. I swear on the way home I happened into a museum where they had the same or smaller shells. (I did keep the box of letters my parents wrote to each other during their engagement while they were living in different cities 😍)
So I was raised by my grandparents who sold antiques for almost 50 years. I helped them out at the antique show and loved what we sold. My papaw pretty much told me “just pick out what you want and we’ll just sell the rest at auction”. I still collect antiques here in my 20s and I will give away blanket chests that I redo to friends. I still sell the rest of what I’ve got for some extra money on the side though as a hobby.
Our son asked his dad to get rid of all his stuff before he passes. He is sitting at the dining room table going through his comics and readying them for sale. He sold a lot of his “stuff” this past year and financed our trip to Italy. We are getting ready to sell it all so we can retire and travel. We downsized and live in a smaller home. I want to rent it out and live in Italy. We need to keep it so when one of us passes we have a home base. It stinks getting old and having to think about this stuff.
To be honest by the time people get around to getting rid of their stuff their kids are already passed the time when they needed the stuff and they now have Home set up so where they gonna put your stuff? Maybe your grandkids could use some of it
I’m fortunate that my son loves antiques and family history and moved into my mother’s home and wanted it ALL! yay! But I would like people to consider giving things just to people you know who have an interest in your things. Start selling stuff before u die so the money can be used for nursing homes or gift to your kids . People hang onto things for SOO LONG sometimes that their kids are in their 60’s- 70’s themselves. People give things to your children while they can enjoy it if they actually want it, or let them sell it and have the money.. consign stuff at consignment shops ! There are young people out there who do want this stuff it’s just not as common..
Too many people hoarded junk and us kids already have the things our parents are trying to dump on us. If I already have furniture and clothes and appliances ect, I don't need 2 or 3 sets of things I already have. Both of my boomer parents are hoarders have multiple houses and storage containers of junk and piles of crap from floor to ceiling and rooms packed with so much junk nobody can use the houses or rooms. My mom's house is so bad nobody can even sit in any chair or use beds and the two dining room tables are covered in junk and you can't even use the table for its intended purposes. Many of my peers' parents are the same way. They have too many things and too much junk.
I hate that
Plenty of folks here in Orange county whose parents bought a house for $250k back in the 90s and now the house is worth $2 million. This is the #1 reason why people are "fleeing" this part of California. They can go live in the Midwest and get house for under $300k and live off the rest indefinitely.
So Cal went through many value swings. Considered the Gold Coast in the late 80’s. Then a downturn in the late 90’s.
The other day we visited a tenant of ours who is 25 years old. She and her friend and just dragged into her apartment and old china closet😂
My mother was a hoarder. She never threw anything away. Everything was boxed up. Linens were decades old in boxes. It took me months to sort and throw everything away. Now, the house is rented so she can have some money to pay for her rent at assisted living facility. House will be sold when she dies and proceeds split between my siblings. House is worth a lot in California.
Here's something a bit different : I do estate cleanouts and distress sale liquidation purchases - auctions etc . . and I DO want a person's stuff. BUT - here is the reality. He is absolutely correct about large - awkward - anachronistic - absurd stuff from the past few decades like China Cabinets etc . . AND I live in Florida and the VAST majority of the estate situations is a house FULL of trinkets - dishes - cups - old/dated furniture and basically ( paperweights ). And I am CONSTANTLY amazed at the sheer VOLUME of worthless detritus these people physically bought and purposefully brought into their home. ESPECIALLY if it is a Woman. Dolls - statues - ceramic characters and on and on and on . . . He is SO correct that people do not want THAT stuff. BUT - I DO want items that have value from the estates - so I offer to take EVERYTHING from the estate and throw away the worthless items during the process.
It's ballony that a millennial won't want your stuff or your house. We don't own any stuff because we don't have houses!
I will take your old stuff. Better than most of the modern crap. I still use hand tools from the early 1900's for woodworking. Most new saws barely cut.
I agree that there are some people that like the old stuff but for the most part Baby Boomers kids don’t want it.
Gotta sharpen them. Lotta new stuff isn't properly finished or maybe people had to sharpen new saws in the old days.
One man can only use or need a vertain amount, having more shit doesn't enhance
I’ll take the old antiques for pennies on the dollar if anybody wants to unload them. The new furniture isn’t built like the old antiques. Everything now is cheap ikea. My mom has chairs and other antiques that are hundreds of years old and can be used everyday. They are built to last and will be handed down for many more generations.
My friend had a houseful of antiques he bought while stationed in Europe. Large ornate pieces. In every room. Could not find a buyer. Had to sell for pennies on the dollar. He was convinced while purchasing them his two daughters would want to keep them. Zero interest.
You kids don’t want 30 lb wooden chairs from the 1900s
I needed this video and the comments. I had to clean out my parents home and I still have most of their “stuff” eight years later. The things that have been most difficult are large paintings that I need to try and sell and at least 20 hand made quilts, even after my two brothers took some (that’s not including small items like runners, pillows and pot holders). I think I’ll donate the excess quilts to be sold at the yearly auction that benefits the high school of in the small town they retired to. The guilt has been too much.
Do you think if the conversation had happened earlier the guilt would not be there?
@Rickhelps
I think if I had broached the subject from the correct angle it would have been okay. I’d say both were a little snobbish about what they liked…if I’m being perfectly honest. By that I mean they couldn’t possibly imagine that I would not want their things. The fact is I don’t have room for all those quilts and numerous paintings, many around 6 by 5 feet. The lack of space would be the right approach. They collected modern art and had Danish modern furniture so they have *some* of what people want.
Love handmade quilts.
Who needs all that furniture and all those knick knacks when you can't afford a home ?
I'm gen x my mom was born in the 1930s. She had collected a ton of china and porcelain that she still had when she died. Well, we all have our own stuff and didn't have room or need for her stuff. 95% of it wasn't worth anything. Grand children wanted one or two pieces as mementos. Frankly, mom had gotten rid if her China cabinet and packed her collections away in bins because it was too much work to clean and maintain.
So bonkers how these people put so much value in worthless shit.
@@redrustyhill2 Well to be fair, mom collected most of that in the 60s and 70s from thrift stores! She collected things she enjoyed. We grew up with most of that stuff. I'm sure no one thought about it back in the day. As she aged she realized there was nothing to do with 90% of it.
Tastes are different so there's no market for most of it now. I still have it because I don't want to dump it on a local thrift or charity. Also mom lived in the same house for more than 40 years. So she never 'downsized' the way many do.
Also I'm sure people my age are collecting things their millennial kids won't want either! 😆 I bet there are massive collections of books, records, CD/DVDs sitting on bookshelves.
Yes, this is so true. My children have already have told me that they do not want my stuff.
We already told my mom we want nothing in her house. So she’s well aware.
My husband and I are 66 and 67. We are hoping to move from CA to Prescott, AZ in a couple of years, if we can manage to find a house we can afford over there. We have 4 daughters and we know they don't want our house or our stuff. So I have started the decluttering and organizing process so that if we do move, it will be much easier because everything is all ready decluttered and organized and if we don't, then settling our estate will be much easier as no one will have to sort through all our stuff. We have things set up that our house will be sold and the money split between the girls. I used to really enjoy decorating my home and having all my stuff, but lately, it seems a burden and overwhelming, so I have started decluttering. I cannot bear to throw pictures away though so I hope one of our girls will take them and preserve our family's history.
I’m 75 and I don’t see any reason that our heirs have to take everything. We have let them know what is valuable and can be kept or sold, but everything else can go into landfills if they don’t want it. These old people who are complaining their kids won’t take everything seem to feel that they are ancient Egyptians and have some sort of immortality as long as their stuff is being kept by someone.
😂😂😂
I am almost sure that if you found a genuine Roman era amphora hiding out in someone's stuff that all museums would say - heck no, we got piles of those. lol.
I never thought of it this way. What a great analogy!
My 98-year-old mother died last year. Her furniture was antique when she bought it 60 years ago when I was a kid. Unfortunately, I don't have room in my house for her stuff. It's already full of furniture I inherited from my grandmother.
I live in a 55+ park. Most ppl’s furniture and clothing are not antique, just outdated. Jewelry and handbags are subjective. Most heirs and young relatives don’t care for them unless they are old Rolex, large diamond jewelry, vintage Birkin or Kelly that can fetch real cash.
I’m 65 and our daughters do actually want our stuff. I have a collection of valuable handbags and our house is furnished from pottery barn, Williams Sonoma and Crate and Barrel. We keep the house updated to today’s designs features, mainly because my husband and I like newer design, and our house is in one of the “hipper” neighborhoods in our city. We also have some very cool artwork which our kids and their friends like. Our kids frequently either ask if we’d be willing to part with something now or they ask that we desígnate it for them when we go. Maybe their tastes will change but for now they’d be more than happy to move right in!
Can’t go wrong with Pottery Barn. Sounds like you have a unique home
You really should let your kids have some stuff now. I have started giving my jewelry, handbags, art etc. to mine as I think it's better for them to enjoy things while I'm still alive, it brings joy to all parties involved.
@@TraceyBergum You’re definitely right. I have started giving them a few things. My youngest daughter likes the vintage coach and Burberry bags but I’m not ready to give those up quite yet! The Burberry belonged to my grandmother and it is so cool.
As we age “ stuff” becomes less important, start gifting things to your kids while they are young enough to enjoy it. For one once my parents passed I could have cared less about what they left but had they given some of to me earlier I would have loved it..
Shoot, I would want your stuff. Lol. You are keeping up with the latest and greatest. Makes a difference.
I'm a millennial, bordering Gen Z. When my grandparents died, my boomer aunt and her children put nearly all of my grandparents stuff in a haul away dumpster before anyone else knew they were cleaning out the house. Didn't even ask anyone if they wanted to come by and look. They collected all sorts of vintage stuff that I would have loved to hold onto. Sad sad sad.
sorry to hear that, you arent the first person ive heard tell of that. death brings out the mean and thoughtless is many people. your aunt may have had some big issues with family members.
@@annmorgana2848 thank you. It was definitely messy and chaotic, but at the end of the day I don't care as much about the stuff; just miss my gparents and family that I haven't seen since. Sucks to hear that many others have had to deal with this too.
@@iamjustaman444 It's a shock to lose both of your grandparents so closely together. I'm sorry for your loss. But in your aunt's defense, she may have been helping them for years and simply felt overwhelmed by the chore and expense of clearing their house out. When you have that chore hanging over your head the stuff starts feeling like a burden that you simply want to get rid of. It would have been far better if your grandparents had given you a few special items while they were still alive and worked on getting rid of some of their stuff themselves.
Many kids want the house if they don't have their own.
@@JetJ321 And even if they don't, a 2 or 3 way split of the proceeds would be a great way for the siblings to benefit.
Only if they live where you do. Mine are on opposite coasts, though another lives near me.
Gen X wants ALL the old stuff! Ever since Covid, the quality of everything, especially furniture has gone down the tubes. That china cabinet you can't get rid of would cost thousands of dollars to buy today.
VERY true. Brand new furniture is most often very crappy build and cheap materials.
Ok but who needs a china cabinet?
@@Nun195 Very useful 50 or more years ago when people had bigger get togethers and fancy dinner parties. My parents had china cabinet and all used dishes & glassware. NOw all those people are old or dead. I have only 3 friends and NO time for dinner parties. and can only afford small house. I assume wealthy people with large social life and wives with lot more time are only ones who can still use china cabinet what was once a middle class and lower income furniture.
My old man is a tool guy
So am I
His stuff ain’t looking to bad
Bunch of sweet hunting and fishing gear
Every automotive tool ever
All the welding equipment
And then a basement turned into a carpenter dream shop.
Sorry pops don’t take this wrong but I can’t wait for your stuff.
I’ll keep your house forever if I can
Same here.
My in laws are borderline hoarders, a trait they passed onto my wife. When I retire I am building my own house and none of their crap is coming in. Ii'll live out tge rest of my days in peace - alone if necessary
🎤
Good luck building a house when you're retired
@@misuchimiss1161 that won't be luck. That is proper planning.
Similar situation here. My husband is Gen x from socialistic times in Poland. Poverty mentality is strong in his parents and with him, he’s recovering. I’ve seen the stuff, stuff and more stuff makes them feel safe and secure. It’s psychological, emotional and that’s what’s hard to change.
He is an only child but has come to realize his parents are boardline hoarders. I’m not looking forward to the day we need to clear out their overally crowded stuffed apartment
If your wife insists on keeping their stuff, she can rent a storage unit and the expense will come out of her half of your discretionary spending budget. Fair is fair.
Had to join a fb group and give it all away!!!
I’m Gen X and it has taken me three years to clean out my mother’s house. Luckily there is a small town outside my city full of antique dealers-it’s known for that. So I was able to find some people who did want the stuff.
I do think the Boomers acquired way more than their parents or children. I just don’t understand the sheer amount my parents had.
Overwhelming right?
Same here. My silent generation mother just passed and I'm sure much of what she had will go to the dump. I've noticed the garage sales this spring aren't drawing a lot of people like they used to.
They -- or their parents -- lived through the Great Depression when no one had squat. Being able to buy things in better times was a joy and a hedge against bad times coming again.
So many elderly people thought everything they had was part of their legacy to their kids. No one in my family ever parted with anything until they died. I've spent the last three years downsizing and Swedish death cleaning. My grandmother left so much stuff behind that it took weeks for me age 45 and my elderly mother age 75 to clean out her third floor walk up apartment. She lived in a huge complex with a dumpster about a city block away. We were exhausted for a week. After that, my mom started cleaning out her house saying that would not "put her kids through this." I also was determined to declutter and downsize and spare my daughter the trauma of spending weeks cleaning out my house. So far, I've reduced my living space and possessions by 50%. I've never felt so free as I do now. You have to clean and maintain everything you own. So I plan another round this summer to see how lean I can be.
My Dad was a very value/money conscious Silent Generation man. Everything he had was “worth a lot of money”. He wanted my sisters and I to purchase family heirlooms…..😳😳. When he passed, we couldn’t give some of that stuff away. The things he spent his life working for is for the most part, in landfills or recycling centers.
My wifes older sister died. We had an auction service look at everything in the house to auction it off. They wouldn't even take the job. We ended up filling four dumpsters and throwing most of it away.
We collect contemporary art and I have asked all my 4 kids to put their names on the sculptures and art they want when we are tired of it or pass on. To my surprise they all picked different things and they love the pieces we have. The rest I couldn’t care less what they do with it.
Some families are like mine. My daughter bought the small house I was raised in. Both my kids want their stuff - the love the old historical family things - WWII era and before.
My father in law passed last year. We already had a house and all the furnishings so there wasn’t anything we wanted or needed. The China was a nightmare. Between my family and his we wound up with six sets going back three generations. We had to drive around to six different charity shops to get rid of it all
I ended up with the same amount of china sets. I thankfully found a fool who gave me a little $ for them.
You don't understand many can't afford a house, so what can they do with your stuff?
I understand alot of things. I also spoke about baby boomers with aging parents who do have their own homes
I own a retail company and we are constantly getting people to have us take their perfect furniture away free of charge. We actually entertained opening a used furniture business but you are correct. No one wants it. This stuff is absolutely gorgeous. Not a mark on it and just because it’s not brand new they do not want it even for free. Crazy times.
People want experiences not material items. My father and I walked around his house and he asked me what I would do with his stuff when he was gone and I told him I would pull up a big truck to haul it all away!
A few years ago my mom calls me and wants to give me her pink Limoge China set. Im thinking " because I'm gay, she thinks I wanted pink China. " My China is yellow and green.
That's why estate sales are so popular. I intend to set up a living trust so my house can't be sold. Anyone related can live in it, pay taxes. Save to buy your own house. This can be the starter home for countless grandkids.