Thanks to marriage helper. Dr Joe you are going a wonderful job to our marriages . Putting back marriage together one after another.. May God bless you.
I miss my wife and I'm doing the NC but it's been so hard since mid February yes sometimes I Tex but I get bad results but hopefully there is HOPE 🙏 I'm not perfect but like thay say it take too.Blessday
No contact doesn't work. Smart contact does. Don't push, beg, plead, whine, or cry. Work on being the best version of yourself that you can be. You are good enough and worth it.
Work on the PIES. Keep contact quick and try not to make her feel bad emotionally in any way possible. I know it’s super hard in my case because we are always dealing with kids and my wife works them against me and lies but I still have to try to keep peace. Study the book of Ephesians in the Bible as part of your spiritual improvement. Learn to have a gentle spirit and build unity. Take the high road on everything. Keep praying! I’m praying for us all in this battle. Keep standing!
Dr Beam, you are an angel. You have renewed my hope in ME. You are talking directly to ME. Even your intake person was a wondersul angelic force in my life. You are a light in this darkness. The fact you're named BEAM is not lost on me. Praise God. He is good. Thank you.
My wife of 43 years left so much hurt and hate towards me I will always love her I just leave her alone and pray for gods will to be done in both of our lives
I left my husband of 43 years not because of hurt and emotional abuse but because he turned physically abusive as well. I was willing to work on the marriage but the physical abuse is unforgivable to me. He's got a lot to come back from. He definitely needs God. I have to fix me not focus on marriage reconciliation now. I'm beyond hurt.
There is hope for both of you! I’m praying for you right now! God can help you both to work on the areas that are causing hurt. Please don’t throw away 43 years of marriage, please don’t break the covenant you have with God and each other. I don’t know who you are and maybe y’all need to be separated for just a while to work on each of yourselves, but I hope that you find a good counselor, a Christian counselor who’s been married longer than 43 years. If I was you and you both are willing, I would go to one of the marriage helpers weekend seminars. I don’t work for them, but I’m hurting in my own situation. I pray that one day my wife will be willing to work on it, please repent from anything you’ve done wrong to the other, get help if you need to, but don’t give up on each other. I know God‘s will cause I know God‘s word and his word is that he wants to restore your marriage and he wants you to have, the best marriage possible. Again, I don’t know your situation completely, but I know God can completely fix your situation. ❤🙏🙏
May God give her the wisdom to realize what she is doing is wrong and backs to you. Also u try to work in urself. I have the same problem with my husband but he is having an affair with somebody else. Is she more prettier? No.. is she more valuable? No ... but he is in the moon bcuz she is working on his ears and ego so is like if he hates me. May God fix our relationships
I was just served divorce papers. I’m blindsided, as we were talking about a year long separation. He has a new woman, and I don’t think there’s hope for us.
I do have a caveat to this suggestion... My wife was unfaithful and we're separated heading to divorce. She was defensive, avoidant, and uncooperative about dealing with her cheating, and I had just had it. Would I consider reconciling after divorce? Sure I would, but she would have to be a lot different, and following your suggestion to make herself the best version of herself isn't going to be enough. That's OK. From what I can tell she's living her best life and having a great time, good for her, no reason not to I suppose.
Perhaps you might re-listen & watch a few other of the MH videos. Joe’s suggestion is about you, not her…that YOU become the best version of yourself. Also fr you to start to consider what you may have been contributing to what set your marriage up to be where it is right now. Worth hearing about limerence too. There’s videos about this. Good luck.
@@kenmfrancis Thank you Ken. I probably could have made my point more clear. What I was trying to get across is that to save your marriage during separation, it is inadequate to work to be the best version of yourself if you've been unfaithful. I suggest that the video include some sort of disclaimer that the unfaithful needs to also include trust building behaviors and reparative words and actions.
There are a lot of couples who have reconciled with only one of them initially involved with that goal. They improved themselves, such as tweaking their communication skills, or losing that last eight pounds, or writing that short story they always wanted to do, all of which are helpful for their own self-worth, whether the spouse returns or not. MH is a great organization, that gives practical and meaningful tools to achieve those goals, all for a lot less than counseling.
@@megalopolis2015 My comment was mostly around the idea that a cheating spouse must do more than lose weight or another personal accomplishment. I don't care how much weight my unfaithful wife loses, how much money she makes, how many marathons she runs, how many projects she completes, etc. If she isn't willing to figure out her "why" for cheating and amend for it, then I don't want to be married to her.
@@Geo-vi7ce For me, I follow what Marriage Helper says: work on my PIES. I can’t change my wife. I can only choose to change myself. I give her to God and I believe by faith that He is working on her heart. Haven’t spoken to her in four months. God sees the end from the beginning. He’s got this.
Im separated almost a year now, im blocked at every avenue, i got my divorce paperwork this week, i gave her space and i wrote sometimes but all were send back and she lives in a different country. How is it possible for this to be saved
Thanks to marriage helper. Dr Joe you are going a wonderful job to our marriages . Putting back marriage together one after another.. May God bless you.
I needed to hear this today. I am trying to work on myself for me but I still love her so sometimes it gets blurry 😊
I miss my wife and I'm doing the NC but it's been so hard since mid February yes sometimes I Tex but I get bad results but hopefully there is HOPE 🙏 I'm not perfect but like thay say it take too.Blessday
No contact doesn't work. Smart contact does. Don't push, beg, plead, whine, or cry. Work on being the best version of yourself that you can be. You are good enough and worth it.
Work on the PIES. Keep contact quick and try not to make her feel bad emotionally in any way possible. I know it’s super hard in my case because we are always dealing with kids and my wife works them against me and lies but I still have to try to keep peace. Study the book of Ephesians in the Bible as part of your spiritual improvement. Learn to have a gentle spirit and build unity. Take the high road on everything. Keep praying! I’m praying for us all in this battle. Keep standing!
Praying for you!
Dr Beam, you are an angel. You have renewed my hope in ME. You are talking directly to ME. Even your intake person was a wondersul angelic force in my life. You are a light in this darkness. The fact you're named BEAM is not lost on me. Praise God. He is good. Thank you.
I love your shirt dr.Joe!
My wife of 43 years left so much hurt and hate towards me I will always love her I just leave her alone and pray for gods will to be done in both of our lives
I left my husband of 43 years not because of hurt and emotional abuse but because he turned physically abusive as well. I was willing to work on the marriage but the physical abuse is unforgivable to me. He's got a lot to come back from. He definitely needs God. I have to fix me not focus on marriage reconciliation now. I'm beyond hurt.
There is hope for both of you! I’m praying for you right now! God can help you both to work on the areas that are causing hurt. Please don’t throw away 43 years of marriage, please don’t break the covenant you have with God and each other. I don’t know who you are and maybe y’all need to be separated for just a while to work on each of yourselves, but I hope that you find a good counselor, a Christian counselor who’s been married longer than 43 years. If I was you and you both are willing, I would go to one of the marriage helpers weekend seminars. I don’t work for them, but I’m hurting in my own situation. I pray that one day my wife will be willing to work on it, please repent from anything you’ve done wrong to the other, get help if you need to, but don’t give up on each other. I know God‘s will cause I know God‘s word and his word is that he wants to restore your marriage and he wants you to have, the best marriage possible. Again, I don’t know your situation completely, but I know God can completely fix your situation. ❤🙏🙏
May God give her the wisdom to realize what she is doing is wrong and backs to you. Also u try to work in urself. I have the same problem with my husband but he is having an affair with somebody else. Is she more prettier? No.. is she more valuable? No ... but he is in the moon bcuz she is working on his ears and ego so is like if he hates me. May God fix our relationships
Nice timing on the coffee sip with the marriage helper logo Joe!! :) haha Love you, man
I was just served divorce papers. I’m blindsided, as we were talking about a year long separation. He has a new woman, and I don’t think there’s hope for us.
Thank you Doc✨️🙏🏾
Thanks Dr. Joe! I love the marriage helper mug!😂 Drop the link 🙏🏿
You can find it here! swag.marriagehelper.com/
I do have a caveat to this suggestion... My wife was unfaithful and we're separated heading to divorce. She was defensive, avoidant, and uncooperative about dealing with her cheating, and I had just had it. Would I consider reconciling after divorce? Sure I would, but she would have to be a lot different, and following your suggestion to make herself the best version of herself isn't going to be enough. That's OK. From what I can tell she's living her best life and having a great time, good for her, no reason not to I suppose.
Perhaps you might re-listen & watch a few other of the MH videos. Joe’s suggestion is about you, not her…that YOU become the best version of yourself. Also fr you to start to consider what you may have been contributing to what set your marriage up to be where it is right now. Worth hearing about limerence too. There’s videos about this. Good luck.
@@kenmfrancis Thank you Ken. I probably could have made my point more clear. What I was trying to get across is that to save your marriage during separation, it is inadequate to work to be the best version of yourself if you've been unfaithful. I suggest that the video include some sort of disclaimer that the unfaithful needs to also include trust building behaviors and reparative words and actions.
There are a lot of couples who have reconciled with only one of them initially involved with that goal. They improved themselves, such as tweaking their communication skills, or losing that last eight pounds, or writing that short story they always wanted to do, all of which are helpful for their own self-worth, whether the spouse returns or not. MH is a great organization, that gives practical and meaningful tools to achieve those goals, all for a lot less than counseling.
@@megalopolis2015 My comment was mostly around the idea that a cheating spouse must do more than lose weight or another personal accomplishment. I don't care how much weight my unfaithful wife loses, how much money she makes, how many marathons she runs, how many projects she completes, etc. If she isn't willing to figure out her "why" for cheating and amend for it, then I don't want to be married to her.
When she leaves , let her go. She's done with you.
I’ve gone back and forth between wanting to save my marriage and moving on. I guess my mindset is, “If it happens, it happens.”
That’s exactly where I am in my marriage.
@@Geo-vi7ce For me, I follow what Marriage Helper says: work on my PIES. I can’t change my wife. I can only choose to change myself. I give her to God and I believe by faith that He is working on her heart. Haven’t spoken to her in four months. God sees the end from the beginning. He’s got this.
🙏🙏🙏
Im separated almost a year now, im blocked at every avenue, i got my divorce paperwork this week, i gave her space and i wrote sometimes but all were send back and she lives in a different country. How is it possible for this to be saved