The Awkward Transition from Friends to Lovers
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2021
- pH-1 ponders the power of words by just simply calling someone your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend".
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PENIEL SAYING "DAMN I THOUGHT WE WERE CLOSE" TO ASHLEY I BURST OUT LAUGHINGJSJ
That's what i was thinking the whole time .. "wait aren't you guys close friends then ..like ashley.. aren't you forgetting smthg lol🙄"
I actually LOL'd also XD
i read this comment the moment he said it 😂
I'm laughing so harf
Lol! I thought they were close friends too. Maybe Ashley was thinking more about bff in terms of someone you can share everything with including girl stuff lol!
I've read somewhere that in behavioral sciences studies
For men, their idea of friendship came from their friendships with other men which is= hang-out activities, general convo, rarely involves involving emotional support with each other since our society it's not typical for men to be emotional, showing emotions is vulnerability and a sign of weakness(which is a very problematic thinking btw). On the other hand, they see romantic female partners as = someone they can share emotional needs, be vulnerable etc.
For women, in both friendships and romantic relationships they share feelings and emotions. Unlike for men, women are not socialized to fear being emotional, women's friendship with another women = heavily based on emotional support so that's how they form the idea of friendship, regardless of gender
So when Ashley said they could be friends but not best friends in which you really share your vulnerabilities with, I kinda understood why she thought that way bec it would be pretty challenging for some people, esp men to differentiate friendship and partner if they're very close bec it would be a dissociation from their notion of friendships and are more closely related to partners characteristic
So yea the inclination of people to think that men and women can't be friends is a product of socialized concepts of friendships that is heavily shaped by patriarchial society which is for another discussion avzhsvsh
[and if u see this same comment in the full vid, yes I commented this there too just wanted to share my 2cents no maybe 5cents bec it's pretty long comment to everyone]
This is such a good read, very well-explained. Reading this actually made me realize that our certain biases are heavily affected by the society we are in, thus, our opinions on things, their[hosts] opinion on things are also shaped by the imposed norms by the society. ngl, at first I’m quite upset on harry’s take but I can’t pinpoint the exact reason why am I upset but reading this made me realize why am I upset. tbh I’m not really fond of his view that opposite sex can’t be just friends and they’re always immediately a potential partner, I’m still not fond of this view, but now I understand why he’s inclined to think that way. BUT YEA I still firmly believe people can be friends regardless of gender identity.
nailed the explanation. Ashley and Peniel has different descriptions of the word "close friends"
This is so true and case study is my friend. Most/all of the single straight cis male friends she made ended up liking her BC she was literally the only emotional support they had OR she’d be their go-to for emotional support bc they didn’t have that in their men friends
ok this is good 🙌🏻
poor PH1 he just wanted to say how just some words change you're whole relationship with someone😂😂😂😂
i really love how Peniel takes things.He doesn't complicate it 😂💙💙💙
Harry sounds like he needs more female friends- lol
where do I sign-
Me as a gay person thinking, "yes, guys and girls can be just friends" jaja
right? lol
That's literally what I thought 😂😂😂
First thought that came to my mind as well
The debate is so heteronormative, I hate it!
@@guiltymulti2031 they obv mean guys and girls who are attracted to guys and girls :)
1:03 Diane's rule was pretty straightforward ..just like her personality lol ..
The coolest person in Dive !
She has the coolest job too haha
Lol agree! She seems like she would be fun to hang out with!
@@wt5574 coolest job yes .. but I'd say it's a lot of work too ..she literally makes up all the content that we see in Dive studios - the ideas, the script, who to have as guest ..and idk what more .. i mean i could be wrong but that's what a PD has to do i think..
For a lazy person like myself that's a lot of work and responsibility lol😅😅
Peniel always has the iconic lines 😂
100% agree with Peniel, guys and girls CAN be best friends! I had a lot of guy friends growing up (and now) and none of them saw me in a sexual way and I for sure didn't see them like that as well! If I can be honest, with no hate whatsoever, but I really dislike this "stereotype" that people have with opposite sex can't be friends, feels to me like women can't be in a man life if it's not in a sexual way?! like?! we have nothing more to add? come onnn, I helped my friends with lots of things and vice versa!! but anyways, I respect who doesn't agree of course! 💙💙
Explain this to my grandparents- 🙂.
@@patilsavita1104 sure lol let's do a meeting and i'll try my very best
@@ems5454 you prolly unintentionally friendzoned them
yea i mean ph-1 just completely changed the views on guys and girls be friends..... oh ashley, you are so influenced by ph1😂😂
i swear the friendship between BM, penial and ashley made me believe that yes this is true 😭
I done slept with 3 of my female friends, I’m just trash bruh.
I think girls and guys can be just friends.
Peniel seems very straightforward and honest, if he's thinking/feeling something, he'll say it. Other people around him expect this honesty, so if he doesn't say something, it's cause he doesn't feel that way.
As long as both parties are open and honest, there are no misconceptions, they can stay friends.
Also, afterthought, if people hold grudges, friendships can't last either
I love how thoughtful Harry is. He always ponders things deeply. True INFP.
If I having this conversation with harry, both of us would be so overwhelmed and keep on make unending scenarios and questioning how is that happened 😫
4:36 - I feel for Peniel. I gotchu bro, y’all close, Ashley just don’t know it yet 😂
Harry at 3:37 being done with Peniel and then 3:46 when he decides to give in 😂
I’m with Peniel on this one. I have very close male friends. I think we all know when we feel attracted to someone and that’s when it’s out of the friend zone. But if that feeling is not there, friendship is very possible. Friendships with guys is simple. Romantic relationships? So not simple.😱🤣
i agree with peniel. guys and girls can be just friends.
Ph-1’s hands 😂
0:52 making rules
1:18 psh
1:22 restraining himself from grabbing Peniel
2:37 agreements
4:31 excuse me I have something to say
Very interesting timestamps i must say 😂😂😂
Best time stamps... 🤟
@@loveyourself9017 lmao he be expressin 😂
@@humblepebble LOL thank u for your appreciation 🤝
That restraint is strong. Lasted a good 2-3 secs and he finally decided to grab the chair lolz
harry's brain istg i love that man
I agree with Peniel. Guys and girls can be friends but it also depends on how emotionally vulnerable you get with each other. That always seems to blur the lines for people because being part of a romantic relationship is being emotionally vulnerable and then you get emotionally attached to the other person. You build this sort of trust that starts to develop feelings. I have guy friends but most of the time I can tell that they're just like brothers or guy friends looking out for me and being respectful, and nothing more. Of course I've had my fair share of emotional attachment to some guy friends when it got too vulnerable, but nothing has happened anyhow.
Harry’s genuinely a great guy
I really love Peniel.
He's a low-key comedian.
agree with peniel here..guys and girls can definitely be friends as long as all the parties are open and honest in that friendship! Moreover the gender is becoming very fluid and ultimately it all comes down to whether you them in romantic light or not as diane concluded.
p.s
one can develop romantic feelings for their friends too as we are constantly changing and our preferences change too with our experiences. for example we might not find something attractive one day but on a different day it might attract us and we see the person in a new light. the feelings aren't necessarily there from the very beginning!
Agreed! And your second paragraph fits what Harry and Ashley were coming from. It's just not eloquently put together like your statement.
I agree with Peniel though.
I have a lot of guy friends, close ones too. They're brothers to me. Even now, one of my close guy friends married my cousin (yes, I introduced them to each other), we are still really close, even closer because he is literally part of my family now.
I think if one of the parties originally have some sort of feelings with each other, that's a different story.
Peniel is disappointed 😂😂😂😂😂
I love Diane! Can she become an official member?
ikr even if she is not in the video i csn listen to her all the time 😍🙌🏻
Kinda feel for Peniel. Like dang Ashley 😂
of course girls and guys can be just friends. i'm a girl and i have male friends, it's totally normal and okay to have a friendship with someone without wanting to date the person.
Ashley shutdown Peniel 🤣🤣🤣 Damn, I thought we were pretty close!!!! I know what's Ashley mean! It is the one she would tell everything to and rely on for any emergencies.
I agree with Peniel. Guys and girls can be just friends and close friends. Not every person you enjoy being around is going to make a good partner for you. When you meet someone and you can see that it is easy for them to just be a friend and not cross that line.
HAHAHAHHAHAHA HARRY GOT SO FRUSTRATED
I do believe Guys and Girls can stay friends.. I feel it's possible
Peniel reaction after ashley said "not a close friends" just got me.
Boy really......🖐🏻😭😭😭😭😂
Trust me, as a hetero male who is an elementary teacher, where 98% of my classmates and then colleagues are woman, we can be just friends haha.
It’s funny cuz I had a few “she’s hot,” for the first couple of weeks of college about my classmates. But after we become friends, “she’s hot,” became “oh, it’s my homie,” haha. The initial base attraction usually goes away quick especially if there isn’t any sparks.
i don't really know now whatS going through on pH-1 head ..
I totally think guys and girls can be best friends. I personally have a lot of close guy friends that I have NEVER considered in that way, and I know most of them haven’t considered me in that way either. I have had a couple of them express interest, but after I’ve said we’re better as friends, they’ve moved on and we’ve remained close. I think sometimes maybe conversations might need to be had, but realistically guys and girls CAN 100% just be friends.
Of course guys and girls can be friends, even close friends. 1. Not everyone is attracted to women/ men. 2. As long as the two people are clear about the nature of the relationship why would there be an issue ? 3. I think this is more obvious for women because we're used to seeing men as just people/human beings whereas I feel like guys have a more difficult time seeing women as anything other than a potential relationship, romantic/sexual partner or sexual object. 4. I also feel like for most women we decide from the jump what direction we want the relationship to go when we first meet a guy. But guys a lot of the time will pretend to be okay with just being friends with a girl but won't hesitate to try and change the nature of the relationship (maybe their friend broke up with her girlfriend or she's being more touchy with them). So if in fact guys and girls can't be close friends, if usually because of the guys.
if people aren't able to be close friends with those of the gender that they're sexually or romantically attracted to, are gay men only able to befriend women if we follow this logic? are bisexual people just.. unable to befriend anyone?? i know things tend to get a bit heteronormative in get real, but this is ridiculous. are y'all attracted to Every Single Person that happens to have a gender identity that falls within your sexuality, or do you Only talk to people you find visually attractive?? do you only get to know people you find attractive to get in a romantic or sexual relationship with them?? if you can't be close friends, how do you build trust and care in a relationship with your partner? man, it's usually so much fun to listen to get real and the cast is great but it's quite upsetting to see such close-minded takes from ash and harry.
You just said everything that I was right now thinking! and in a much better way than I could have
I was thinking the same thing. Lately its becoming hard to listen
@@soldieroflove1427 ikr, it's definitely hard to ignore when they say unsettling stuff like this.
Had similar thoughts with you, while watching. I was actually thinking are they for real???? I’m not especially fond with harry's view that opposite sex(or in gender which someone iis inclined to be attracted to) can’t be just friends and they’re always immediately a potential partner. For me, people are people, we can be friends with each other regardless of gender, every people you meet shouldn't be immediately seen as potential romantic partners. It could be a stepping stone, but it shouldn't be the end goal of every friendship made. But yea I've read in one of the comments here by vian 0320 that naturally men and women have different socialized conceptions of friendship, and their inclination to seeing friends as immediately potential partners between the two differs too. So idea of friends varies among individuals, and that's where conflicting ideas of friendship begins.
I agree, Harry's and ashley's take is quite upsetting, because again people definitely can be friends with the gender they are inclined to be attracted to, but I think it's a bit of a stretch to assume that people who think men and women can't be just friends are just being friends with someone just because they see them as potential partners. I'm in no way defending their takes but I think for them friends from the opposite gender have the potential to be romantic partners, not necessarily 'I'm friends with them because I'm attracted to them' or 'I'm just going to be friends because they can be my romantic partners', they just believe that at some point between people who are friends with the gender they are inclined to be romantically attracted with, since there's a potential romantic attraction in the near future, it would lead to something more depending on the level of emotional connection and vulnerability they shared with each other. Also, they're def not talking for everyone, they're just merely talking for themselves, what they personally think, it's get real for a reason, it's from their perspective. I get that it's quite an upsetting take, but I don't think we should immediately crucify them bec of it's diff take from ours bec again perspectives and takes on this are heavily influenced by their own socialized cues, culture and etc. I just hope they'll be more open to entertaining other perspectives in the future, I hope we all are and make this a learning experience for everyone.
@@nani-yk1ee what you said made sense, thanks!
4:37 when peniel feeling betrayed. im dying lol 🤣
I am on Peniel's side on this one💁
harry definitely needs help
Lol
i gotta say I enjoy this podcast. with my favorite chill rapper here and lovely Ashley. Peniel and BM are hella fun too.
the chemistry is real, straight up
I agree with all these views due to experiencing them firsthand and either misreading the signs, reading the signs at the wrong time or straight up not even see the signs. Just depends on the two people.
but feelings change and are involved then the declaration of "we are b/f or g/f" - it takes more than just the words 😅
my best friend is a guy - he is now married and we are still besties....it works, it exists !
AWKWARD TURTLE!!! I HAVEN'T HEARD/SEEN THAT IN YEARS!!! OH THE NOSTALGIA 🤧
wooo i'm looking forward to this episode to coming out !!!
I dont get why some people believe guys and girls cant be friends. Every male/female do not catch the feels for everyone they meet. It's as if every male/ female will have a crush on everyone the meet.
I don't think it should be awkward if friends become lovers because their emotions for each other evolves.. so you would want to be passionate with them.. right? Lol.. I feel if it feels awkward then you should STAY friends.. ^_^
Diane your voice is soo cool I love it😁
Ohhhh this sounds like such a fascinating episode 👀
Harry disagreeing and Ashley just sitting there lmaooo
By declaring, I guess it just form if proper communication, like “I just want to make sure, that I’m not the only one here thinking this way, and that you’re okay to be with me” you know, like making sure no misunderstandings so that the relationship can move on to another level
Revive human lives🤣
Yes men and women can be just friends and close friends at that without any romantic/sexual feelings. Society and cultures continue to evolve, whether it be at a snail pace or quickly, so ideas of how men and women are supposed to interact with each other also continues to evolve.
Cant wait for the full one !
it’s out
th-cam.com/video/sp_m_gvElKQ/w-d-xo.html
sometime I wanna have a heart to heart talk with PH1 it seems like he has many PH1s talking in his head
Just love to see them talking together 😍😍
At some point I understand all of them but more in to Ashley here.
idk the idea guys and girls cant be friends feels so limiting to me like what if youre bisexual or pan can you never be true friends with anyone?? it doesnt work like that haha. i have friends where 1000% i am not attracted to them, nothing against their character or personality just physically or sexually i feel nothing there.
anyway even if you do feel attraction that doesnt have to interfer with your friendship its not a clear 1 or the other situation. like flipside- i have a friend where i know a romantic relationship wouldnt work out between us, we are still close though. it could be different lifestyles, romantic or sexual expectations, religious beliefs, direction in life, whatever. just because someones hot and you have the same hobbies doesnt mean a relationship will work, theres a big difference between maintaining a friendship and dating
He just funny for no reason
I am not a social butterfly like peniel but I also have lots of male friends that it’s not even possible to have feelings or possibilities with them even if I have feelings for some.but I genuinely cherish them as friends can never be nothing more
that’s called communication haha
3:17 4:44 peniel please dont do it too obvious loooooool
Me and Harry together 1:30 "What?" 😂😂😂
i love peniel's style here 😭🔥
Omg I love Peniel so much!!
I feel like ph and peniel are totally different creatures lol
Something about Harry is telling me that he used to have a female best friend that he eventually fell for and got hurt
Yea I have male friends but only super casual and I would never hang out with them one on one. It just doesnt feel right.
I want them to do a whole eps on this topic.. 😂😂in the new season
is it just me or we all need a fulll compilation video of all Harry situations!!
Guys and girls can definitely be best friends for sure but it's pretty rare to have that friendship lasts once either of them get into a relationship (regardless of your sexual orientation). You can still be friends but definitely not as close as you were before. But yeah, definitely not a fan of the "guys and girls can't be friends" stereotype.
Also, when it comes to relationship, I don't see my partner as someone I'm sexually attracted to but rather someone that I could share literally everything with and someone whom inspired me to be a better person. The skinships and everything else are just additional perks lolol
my close friends always got my back when someone says "you try to steal my boy, etc." bcs I treat boys and girls just the same, some people might see me too compassionate, but I don't know either why they said that
As a girl who has mostly male friends... Guys and girls can be friends 😏
in the ideal situation, yes guys and girls can be friend. but most of the time, to maintain the so called friendship, each side needs interest and care for each other. and that's a slim line to develop a romantical feelings. and usually, they don't really show it obviously until they're sure enough of the chance to make it happen.
and I think it's not really about the gender, but yes some people when they're into someone they act really obvious, but it depends on their personalities I guess, not all men like that.
I have several friends that confess to me years into our friendship and said "I had crush on you for some time back then, but I know you only see me as friend and you're being friendly to everyone so I don't think you'll reciprocate my feelings" and I was shocked bcs I really have no idea and I mean it. Bcs well, we were in a circle with tight relationship, almost like a Christian typical community lol so you know how it goes. everyone just being friendly with each other.
and I also have some friends that slowly show their romantic interest in me and I either tell them subtly or directly to them that I don't see them in that way and it all ends in the same way: they'll usually pulling themselves and stop being my friends.
at first I was kinda mad and disappointed that they only being nice to me and act like a friend who cares just bcs they like me in romantic way, but as I matured, I just accept it and respect their decision, maybe it's hard for them too to stay friends with someone they like but not like them back.
I think for guys and girls to be able being platonic friends, they still have to set up some boundaries and be straight forward that they don't and won't fall for each other.
Peniel is always my man!!! I have male bestfriends for 20-30 years now. We go to each other when we have a fight with our spouses and they know it hahaha I ended up being close to their wives, but not as close as I am with the guys
Super late haha but one of my best friends is a guy! We shared an Airbnb before, hotel (separate beds) and have gone on a couple of trips together alone! We’ve even sat on the same bed together to watch a movie (but on top of the covers LOL)
Our friendship has always been platonic and we’ve even held hands before once when I felt really sick, but it still wasn’t romantic. He’s always been like a friend to me and we’ve never flirted with each other.
He’s actually getting married soon and I couldn’t be happier for him! When I found out, there were no regrets or buried feelings that arose about always staying friends.
I have another guy friend that’s like a brother to me too and I also am not interested in him romantically. We even have a song that we consider “our song” but we’ve never tried to be romantic. I just never had those intentions with him and most of the time we’ve been friends, he’s been in a relationship.
We even suggest clothes for each other LOL and the first guy, we even ask each other for outfit/fashion advice.
I have other guy friends, but we’re not besties. Idk y’all- maybe I’m just lucky lol but I’m quite picky with what I want out of a boyfriend. I suppose it helps that my best guy friends don’t have all of the qualities I’m looking for in a boyfriend?
Not sure but it’s very possible so don’t give up 😂
This is why I don’t label relationships.
The last moment 🤣🤣🤣🤣
When definition of friendship is revised, then can you see if girls and boys can be friends
peniel might be an amazing bf, tbh
Oh god
These ppl always make us laugh
I heard from a man that there’s no such thing as guys and girls can be friends, either she or he first try to see if there can be something else if not they leave it as friends
I thank God for peniel's thoughts bcoz i thought i was the weird onehaving friends that are a different gender
Peniel and Harry arguing about whether guys and girls can be friends is LITERALLY the plot to When Harry Met Sally 😂
I think girls and guys can be friends or even best friends 😌
yes peniel
for me theyre friends, and bc theyre knowing each other better, naturally the romantic love is born and most of people dont realise but start acting like a couple, it isnt "out of nowhere" . but it doesnt mean they started it with this plan to date. of course some people do, but its way easier just go straight to try to date that person, not befriending them first. also im a woman and male friends were very needed for me. when u find man that truly see u as a sister and friend, i would say always try to befriend the opposite sex/gender, it will make u learn about how the other "kind" functions
But people these days do kiss without date e/o. I'm curious about Harry's opinion in this kind of relationship.
E/o?
I feel like we should have this conversation again but pair Peniel and Ashley together against Harry and another introvert (he gets to choose).
Im very agree with peniel guys & girls can be friends, but also get why harry said that’s impossible. It will happen cuz what if one of them having feelings for other, specially like diane said some guys make it so obvious if they like someone.
Another thing is how close the friends we talk about, is it they do a lot things 2 alone for whole time or deep talks or stuff cuz i dont give a lot alone time & deep talks with my guy friends thats is too much for me. And peniel looool he point 2 of them when he said that 3:17 4:44 dont do it too obvious peniel loooooool
This dude was my friend, then my boyfriend, then we broke up a year later we was best friends. Yes the opposite sex can be your friend or best friend.
Unas ganas de hacer esa transición de amigos a pareja con Ph-1
Damn Ashley you really broke Peniel heart 💔i thought y’all were best friends but I guess not anymore😂
Harry 🧡
Diane is the winner of Harry Situation
Harry is not into friendship like he said so that should explain his view on this. He said he doesn’t value friendship as such soo Ofcourse he isn’t making a lot of em and therefore not many female friends but for people like peniel that know almost everybody and is a social butterfly he will accumulate a lot friends soo it’s very possible to have female friends he has never seen as anything other than just friends that’s all they will ever be.
hahahah Im looking for Friend like Peniel that I wish could be my Closest one as well
orrrrr I mean
Lemme just meet Peniel then 😜😜
Is it just me who thought there something between PH-1 and Ashley
I agree with Peniel it is possible to be best friends with the opposite gender.
I’m with ph1 on this 👍