This video hit hard. I've always had a hard time making and maintaining healthy friendships; partly due to all my time sunk into STEM topics, namely math and computer programming; and partly due to the mental health issues that I've been dealing with for years. I really appreciate that this isn't just a "Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me"-type of video and that you actually give what seems to me to be really sound and solid advice. I appreciate you and everyone else here more than I can say.
I was in a PhD program for maths and it was a grueling experience. I picked up maths later in life (around 24) and I spent the good part of 7 years just doing maths (from when I began undergrad to when I left my PhD program). I love pure maths, and all of my time was focused on reading textbooks to learn more than what they were teaching me in class. I did a lot of research in undergrad (nothing interesting by PhD standards); I had no friends, no social life at all. My days were centered around working out and doing maths. I went to grad school and it was more of the same, except the maths was 10x harder, the problems and exams were 100x more difficult (and unsolvable most of the time lol) along with all of my teaching responsibilities. Everything became depressing, and I wasn’t getting anywhere. My mental health was completely trashed and I wasn’t really going anywhere in my life. I wasn’t good enough to research something of actual value so everything I was doing was basically busy work. I made the decision to leave the program. Shortly after I got into web development and app building, started a company and now I’m here lol I still do math for fun, I’m currently reading a textbook on representation theory, and I’m building a cross platform maths app outside of work. I think for me, and a lot of people in hardcore stem fields like maths, is to sit down and do a serious cost benefit analysis. Ask yourself if you are intelligent and creative enough to make this happen. Are you prepared for the life sacrifices that need to be made to get a PhD? And if you feel that you are, really sit down and research PhD programs from top to bottom. What are their requirements? What are their exams like? Talk to the faculty, talk to the students, talk to graduates, see if the campus is in a place you like. These are all super important things since you’ll be spending all of your time their and if you’re in an environment that makes you miserable you’re most certainly going to fail. Moreover, there absolutely nothing wrong with answering those questions in the negative. I think we live in a world where people are told they can be and do anything that they want, which is true to an extent, but a lot of times you just can’t lol or it will cost your mental health to achieve
I am weak in math and I am trying to change that. As a STEM student, its been really hard coping with the mathematics coursework. I love your channel. It gives me hope to get better.
1: If you have not done so, memorize the multiplication table through 12 x 12 at a minimum. I had the table up though 10 x 10 memorized in the 2nd grade (i.e., at 7 years old). Math becomes so much easier when you can do multiplication in your head. You can find one online that you can print out. 2: If you are in high school or beyond, memorize the Greek alphabet. Lowercase characters are used more than uppercase. During lectures the teacher/professor may discuss a problem without pointing out which symbol on the board is alpha, or pi, or sigma. I do not think you can get through college math without knowing the Greek alphabet (only 24 symbols). 3: Once you learn a subject, do a lot of problems in that subject. This is how you memorize the subject. 4: If you do not have a good grasp of a previous subject, go back and review it in your spare time. It is likely that not knowing that previous subject will leave you at a disadvantage in future subjects. Except for really advanced subjects, you should be able to obtain an accomplished level of knowledge in each subject. 5: If you do not understand, ask questions. I remember that we were suddenly using sin^2 + cos^2 = 1. I thought it was some magical identity that someone discovered, only to learn that from the Pythagorean a^2 + b^2 = c^2. Dividing everything by c^2 gives you sin^2 + cos^2 = 1. 6: If you do not know what sine (sin) and cosine (cos) means, learn this as it only involves ratios of the sides of triangles and the concept is used in almost all subjects beyond trig. If you remember the definition of sine and cosine, trig problems and identities become easy. For example, tan = sin/cos, cot = cos/sin, sec = 1/cos, csc = 1/sin.
@@ndotl Thankyou so much for your advice. I deeply appreciate it. I actually am an adult now i am currently working. But i used to fail math alot when i was in high school or barely cleared my university math papers. One of my goals, in life is to learn to love math by getting better at it. I have improved alot but i am still far from getting the point i wish to be.
@@charlesK12960 Under your logic, you are 'designed' for living in your mama's basement until your are 30. You are also designed to be a troll. Not an Internet troll, a real troll. Just look in the mirror.
That's right, at lunchtime at school, I was sitting alone with my math book and solving equations But I'm happy now because I thought I was the only one. But the strange thing is how some people see mathematics as a boring and difficult thing, while others see it as a best friend when they feel lonely
@@zachheisen5022 I know this is annoying to hear, but when people say they hate math they almost always mean math class in secondary school, and that is an important distinction. Schools do not actually teach mathematics, at least, the real thing
Mathematics is a very niche subject. Everyone takes math classes in school, but a majority never even get to study calculus. Most of those who even get that far never go beyond that, and even most who get to calc 3, diff eq and linear algebra take those classes because they are in some other STEM field. On top of that, I always have to remind myself that a lot of people forget most of the math that they learn. It's so hard to talk about my studies/work with people because on top of the smallness of the population of people who are conversant with some abstract mathematics, it's not like other fields where a short "blurb" summarizing the area can start a conversation. A lot of the time, explaining the mathematical work I do just goes right over people's heads. It's very isolating. There's also the stigma, stereotypes, and assumptions that people often associate with math people, and often these distance people from us because they make us seem unrelatable and 1-dimensional people. Fortunately, there are some outside of mathematics that have the respect and wisdom not to put us into a box, and can actually appreciate what we do. I'm lucky to have married someone like this, since they are hard to come by.
2nd yr cs major right here and I'm feeling it already. I breezed through freshman year due to my prev experience w coding and I was "cool" enough to have this awesome friend group where we just had a lot of fun and partied every weekend. Second year came in and I've p much isolated myself from most of my friends because I never have time to hangout w them no matter how badly I wanted to. Most of them were business majors or some non-stem majors that could never understand how much time we have to invest in our classes just to get a decent grade. It's exhausting having to juggle between my social life and academics, I've just accepted that I'm not smart enough nor talented enough to handle both at the same time.
The math that comes after Diff. Eq., Calc III, and Linear Algebra is where *math gets interesting!* I'm glad I understand mathematics. It allows me to appreciate the divinity inherent in Reason.
I'm a math person, ex grad student (in physics), all that jazz, was never particularly interested in deep relationships beyond "casual friends to play video games with once or twice a month" until I was like, nearly 30. although I think that was mostly becuase it's when the burnout hit really hard. life's more than being brainy
@@dragileinchen1485 It depends. If you're the only one doing the type of work that you do, you are absolutely correct. I once met a guy that sells freight train locomotives for a living.
@@Zone_Stomper Yeah but if you are really specialized in a deep maths field, there are like 4 other people around the globe that can even start to get a grasp on your work. Its lonely af. :/ luckily im not there yet, but im on my way.
@@dragileinchen1485 It sure isn't. I like math, but most of the math people I find are either WAY above my level or way below my level. Not too many right at my level.
It’s quite insane how specialized some math fields are. It is not at all an exaggeration to say a literal handful of people in human history would be capable of understanding what you work on, and it’s even less likely that you come into contact with them. It’s hopelessly sad once you stop becoming anything more than a student.
I agree with you. I have trouble with this too. I love to read. I love to read about math, physics, and philosophy. I am an introvert but have trouble making friends because I am disabled , because I cannot drive, and because I have trouble with smalltalk. I am 28. I earned a degree in English. I loved studying at the university.
@@Grassmpl I have learning disabalaties in math and also CP. As a result, I am not and was not good enough at math to study something like applied math, physics, engineering, or chemistry. As a result of my cp I am too uncordinated to fufill the lab requirments for a degree in chemistry that is why I studied English instead of a STEM subject.
The reason I study math is that I crave information (I seek out new facts and ideas). I've found this is my main obstacle to connecting with people. Places like Facebook and Reddit are very low on information (because they consist of repeated predictable messages), and so are most movies, etc. But these are the things that most people like, for some reason that I don't share.
Any person that is fiercely invested into an activity is going to tend to spend their time on it rather then cultivating relationships, including myself. Especially with such a timesink as mathematics. You only have a finite amount of time in a day, and sometimes you have to sacrifice other aspects of life.
Even though I am a mechanical engineering student, I am minoring in applied mathematics and I joined a SIAM (society of industrial and applied mathematics) chapter at my university. It's honestly great what kinds of things happen when a bunch of math nerds come together and attempt to socialize LOL. Everyone from freshmen to PhD students to seasoned professors show up to our meetings and seminars and its quite wonderful :D I'm currently running for secretary!
There is a quote from the Paper Chase, "This is the unbroken chain, knowledge passed from person to person". When I am lonely, I lean on the idea that I am a part of something larger. That said, I think there is this strange expectation that Mathematicians can sit down and just knock out difficult questions. It takes a lot to convince my students that unless I am working on something with them, where I have made it through the wall of frustration to some level of understanding, that I am doing the exact same thing as them. I struggle, I'm wrong. a lot. But since no one sees anything other than the polished product, there is this assumption that ideas come to the page fully wrought and ready to roar. So, I think that is one of those lurking factors contributing to the loneliness factor. I hope I am not alone in this, but when people ask me what I do, I usually say I am a Math Educator, and those people tend to then spend some amount of time loudly proclaiming how much they hate the subject. That certainly tints social interactions a bit.
Too deep man I'm in my 3rd year of Bachelors program in physics now. I've always been a bit of a loner, a bit of a weirdo. Having hard time interacting and genuinely connecting with people. But this year something happened that broke me completely. I've completely secluded myself, I think I have attended only a couple of weeks of university this semester, and the rest were spent home, alone. I don't know what was it exactly that caused it, but the experience was horrible. I can probably count the amount of social interactions I had this year on one of my hands, so I'm fucked socially, and since I skipped practically every class that I had I am also fucked academically. I really want to change it, change both of those things. My breakdowns and introspections and other experiences that I had in the past half a year have been very painful but they had taught me important things. I know it is not too late for me or for anybody. It will take an ungodly amount of effort to fix the mess that I have made, but it is possible. Hang in there people, you haven't truly lost until you've given up. There are many people like you and me that go through these things and that feel the same way, you are not alone
Finishing my applied mathematics degree this spring! I think you hit the nail on the head - I was forced to become extremely distant with my best friends just because I couldn't handle not succeeding academically. I kept telling myself 'things will go back to normal after I finish x and have a chance to spend time with them' but that never was the case; surprisingly, people close to me would not pause their social lives/growth just because I had analysis homework (/s). The distance eventually became too much and we all just drifted apart. I had to learn that the hard way and this semester I finally was able to find some semblance of a balance by working with my peers in my hardest classes which made studying with other students into a place to make friends. Many of those friends have now applied to grad school and as much as I want to go, I'm trying to put the lessons I painfully learned about happiness into practice and take some time to breathe before seriously considering going (...might self study with some of your book recommendations though)
I feel as though I'm being spoken to directly in this video. I feel that math has taken so much out of my life, and I'm not sure how willing I am to invest more time trying to learn it while others are making meaningful relationships. That being said, I recognize its intrinsic value. it feels wonderful to solve a proof or do something clever with math, but the fomo hits so hard when I see the very few friends that I have reminiscing on their pasts.
it's a peculiar thing. I used to feel like Im different from those who dread loneliness, who fill their time with others to prevent any moment of self reflection. I think people similar avoid recursive reflection that can come with inner dialogue, as that part of us is churning at a concrete problem. I'm not sure how we experience loneliness, but my gut instinct feels that those who primarily think about things over people, tend to make the most out of solitude. Though, this feature leaves us completely unprepared for the problem of people!
As a child, I never thought of people. Only things. My childhood was not great, but I was happy. But as I started to be more consious of people more than things, I became more and more depressed. People need to remember that while being lonely is bad, you should never prioritize other people over your own identity
you just blew my mind. this seems unrelated, but, ever since i was a kid i've always been a highly passionate artist. i quickly got into making long comics (not just shorts like on the back of a newspaper) and it was extremely rewarding being able to tell different stories with my own characters visually. as a heavily abused and neglected child who was bullied at school as well, it was cathartic and grounding. it filled in that loneliness and padded in a ton of time. in my mid-to-late teens, my relationship with art changed when the cathartic flow state i'd get into, (something that had me sat in the same spot drawing for 7-10 hours at a time), was replaced with possessive episodes of trauma flashbacks and renumerating. different sources of chronic pain made the task of drawing doubly punishing, but (because from abusive parenting that undervalued my health and wellbeing) i tried to not acknowledge them as a concern worth accomodating, or else i would be making excuses. nowadays (i'm 24), i've done a lot of processing and am a lot more at ease with the different sources of my trauma. i'm better able to engage with the different reliving episodes and fears that i might have otherwise been worried about, and i'm in living a much better place overall, too. but... art is, and always has been, so important for me. even if i am better equipped to draw, when considering any of the different projects i feel passionate about and am sure of their potential, they don't get much further beyond conceptualizing and basic animations or storyboarding. you just solved this question i've been grappling with, of why it's almost like i've lost my passion in a way, or that i've lost my fervor when it comes to art. i'm not a lonely child anymore who has to find ways of filling my time and stimulating myself mentally and seeing through numerous troubling stories in order to find the proper resolutions, like i'd do with my characters, comics or written stories. while i'm still disabled because of my ptsd and physical conditions, there are still things in my life i have to (and WANT to) take care of and be present for. animation is a hiiighly time consuming task. so are comics, and my body has already been practically saying no to that level of productivity for a long time in ways that ignoring them originally now means i'll have to pay for them for the rest of my life. i miss my flow states. i'm deeply disappointed by the shelved projects i seemed to feel so immersed in planning before, sans the lingering doubts and shame that permeate this process mentally. finding myself rarely drawing anymore, i question if i really am an artist anymore. even if i want to push through my pain and draw anyway (which neither you nor i should do), it's just not the same anymore. you made me realize that: i don't need art in the same way i used to anymore. i just don't. maybe i can still find ways to illustrate and tell stories that serves me nowadays, but trying to shoehorn myself into the super-productive art whiz i'd amped myself up to be for a decade plus has only caused more deep disappointment and uncertainty about who i am as a person, and even who i've been this whole time. i'm not the bullied, abused, neglected kid with no friends, anymore. i don't need to fill all of that empty time cooped up inside by delving into my own universe. my life is full with people i love and whose relationships with me that i want to tend to. i have different physical care needs than i did when i was 8. i have different responsibilities, too. it's not just that the pains in my body are saying we can't do 8 hour drawing sessions anymore (let alone 2). i genuinely don't want to neglect my different responsibilities in the face of art--whether that's to myself, my friends or anything else in my life. this has been a major issue i've been grappling with and feeling shameful about for a long time now, so thank you for resolving this question for me.
This resonates so much with my own experience. I have lost relationships and sacrificed other stuff for my passion in math and programming. I’m still in college and came to the same making-social-corcles-is-essential conclusion myself. Thank you for this video
the loneliness is not just because you spend time studying and neglect other parts of life. it's because your mind is constantly off in some kinda platonic realm and other people can't relate to that. it's not necessarily a better way to be, it's just different.
These comments make me really sad. I also love math and I'm glad to have found a friend I can discuss it with. I hope the people in the comments find someone too 🙏, everyone deserves to be able to talk about their interests.
Thank you for sharing. I have a low social battery myself. Lurking in math spaces online helps stave off the loneliness as well. And sometimes I even contribute to the conversation.
Have always been both comfortable with math (the "objectivity in numbers"), and really love being alone. As a professional horseplayer it has really worked out pretty well. Enjoy the loneliness people!!
@@feraudyh Briefly then... The "math" refers to the Kelly Criterion (gambling formula not investment formula) which both, confirms a legit advantage and, dictates the "optimal wager" as a percentage of one's bankroll. My particular approach to handicapping is a "Pace" approach, which involves fractional speed and relative position and ,obviously, deceleration. P.S. The "math" is the easy part. The handicapping is a bear!...Enjoy!!!
And I find that math discords are really fun too! I just joined one and its really nice to have someone helping me out when i dont understand a problem
One factor that I think can be too easily overlooked - most other academic disciplines share a baseline understanding with the general population. There is a story to be told to the layperson about a historic battle, or the structure of a mountain, or the differences between lived experiences resulting in different philosophies. Even in Physics, there are phenomenological pictures to paint, light behaves like a wave and a particle, and so on. Maths isn't like that, in the sense that the interesting ideas often require a lot of scaffolding to reach. Having a conversation about what I actually do as a maths researcher is impossible, it's hard enough to explain to mathematicians working in different fields to my own. Not to mention the culture that has built up around maths in general society being one of disdain - decades of sadistic or bored maths teachers, and parental pressures, forcing many students out of the natural love and aptitude they might have for the material. Because of the failings of that system, people have come to view maths as the pursuit of the outliers, the hyper intelligent, rather than something that anyone can do and enjoy. It makes it impossible to communicate to the majority of people, and it's quite ostracising. Either you force people to relive their most traumatic schooldays, or you bore people, and either way, it's nearly impossible to find enough of a shared background to explain what is interesting to you. The only solutions to these issues are long term sadly. For now, the advice regarding cultivating other interests is good advice. Even if it still sucks that I can't tell my partner, or my family and friends, how my day was. However patient and interested they are.
Perfect timing! One of the most important videos I’ve ever watched. I’ve been lonely and depressed for so long and had a huge breakdown and hopefully also breakthrough last weekend. I’ve got to change my life drastically. I’ve got to force myself to have a life outside of math. It’s hard, but I’ve got to try and do it for my mental and physical health.
You should make a list with books on every level and topic with full solutions. I am sure that such a video would do well. Plus you can link them in the description.
@@TheMathSorcerer Thanks for answering so quickly. I think there is an audience for such a video that would very much welcome it. One of the reasons I don't study math as often is because I'm expected to juggle around with a computer and books, and electronics are quite the bane of modern studying.
Big difference between being alone and being lonely. I like working on statistics alone (part of my job). I get completely immersed in it - it's very satisfying 😌
A confession: I love the reviews you do on Math books... simply the best. Have you thought of doing a review on High School Math books...since there might those teenage students considering a career in math and will soon be entering high school and might eventually take advanced math classes like the AP Exams, etc? What are some really cool high school level math books that one can self study from...?
I'm on a break midway through college. I'll be out for a while. But I went back to study high school maths in 2015 (at age 43), then went onto A level and then college. I essentially put some life long hobbies on hold while I did so. Also, for a number of years, at the weekends, you'd find me in a coffee shop with math textbook open, or in a library, where I would spend hours trying to learn. To be fair, I have kind of been a 'solitary' character since I was very young even before I understood what solitude was; my mother told me about my habbits as a young toddler which really emphasised the point. Unfortunately I have realized over the years that I get very consumed in stuff, whether that be study OR hobbies. Crazy thing is, I rarely suffer loneliness - but it does cause a few issues with people in my life. Admittedly, my closest friends are somewhat hermit-like too, and 3 out of 4 of us siblings are pretty much the same. Maybe my age might also be a bit of a contributing factor. I'm 51 now. I appreciate the fact that your reflections were not peppered with judgements about the rights or wrongs; some of us have probably done a lot of self-judging around this subject (definitely me)
My guess is many/most mathematicians score high on neurotic/paranoia-type traits. And the intense concentration and precision required almost certainly overlaps with OCD personalities. I also think a lot of gifted math people neglect relationships with others (I know I did, and I regret it every day). Even one my greatest heroes, Kurt Godel, had a supportive wife without which he likely would have died much younger (and God bless her, cause I'm sure that guy was a handful).
@@locomotive9000 Yeah, I'm no expert on his personal life, but I read Rebecca Goldstein's book on Godel. What a fascinating character - I could hardly put the book down.
Excellent video as always. Also, some people don't perceive loneliness in the way others do, they can transfuse loneliness into some sort of 'solitude', like a sense of peace with loneliness. So perhaps a better word for such people would be solitary rather than lonely, i.e. being alone is not a problem to be cured... but if somebody is feeling that way, your video has excellent advice! My two cents worth.
Concerning the loss/sacrifice of a relationship. It is fortuitous to find another person that shares your love of the scholastic endeavors, and accepts the level of solitude between the two of you. Cicero said all a man needs is a garden and a library to be content. If a man can find a companion that shares this sentiment, he needs nothing.
Hi brother i just wanted to say Thankyou to you! i always saw my friends do good in maths and get good grades and thought to myself maybe i have low iq, but i was not accepting it i one day somehow discoverd your channel where you were saying anyone could do Maths, and all praise to God my life changed from that day i did many question and was able to litreally teach one of my friend to solve a question😊 May God bless you
Thanks for sharing the video. Part of my work is teaching high school math. I always encourage students as well as the teachers to study math for easing and comforting the emotion because math is independent from the moods.
Lovely video! I found myself having a really hard time over the pandemic while I was finishing out my undergrad, not only was I lonely but I was also struggling in my math classes and feeling like maybe I wasn’t good enough to pursue further education in math. But, I muddled through, sent in my applications and started in my PhD program this year. And it has been so much better that I could have even hoped, my cohort has been so lovely and supportive they really helped me fall back in love with math. It wasn’t without effort, you have to reach out, but it is so worth it. It will get better!
I loved the vibe of this video, talking bout something really worthy to talk like socializing more with the background of math books and revising them and talking about them too, remember me of those videos with people talking while playing some simple parkour game
At 05:38 "This book is special to me" . This book is special to me too. This was the textbook for my first proper course in Abstract Algebra, which I took at the University of Queensland in Brisbane ,Australia a long time back ... I can't remember when, but it must have been in the 90_s. It's a great book for learning.
I'm a theoretical CS PhD student, so hopefully close enough to being a mathematician... Here in Czechia, we have math olympiad and many other competitions for talented highschoolers, many of which organize summer camps for the kids. Those absolutely changed my life back then and I have done my best to pay that forward. I still have many wonderful friends from several faculties and universities that I met there.
This is a great a video giving us much to think about. Not all math people are lonely. Some are just mutually exclusive and Venn diagrams make up their social circles.
Playing online games with my friends who have moved away has been really important to me... comradery, overcoming challenges, and being silly like we were in high school.
We also should have spaces in mathematics departments set up for people to avoid this happening to math students. It shouldn't just be on lonely, geeky nerds like us to figure all this out on their own and fix it on their own. We live in a society for a reason and we should help each other.
i have never been a math person till one day i did the open day for engineering in uni. In those days i had a girlfriend, a lot of friend, i was an extrovert till that day i decided that would be my life. Me and her had a different vision of the future, she was the love of my life, but i left her to pursuit this way. I dedicated all of my self into math, physic, mechanic and all that stuff. Yes i got what i wanted but i'm now a lonely person, i lost her, i lost almost all my friend because i passed almost every day at studying, and most important i lost who i was. Take this type of life it's an hard choise, and i suggest to all out there that want to take this path to think about it really well.
I could never blame my lack of a social life on my math and physics pursuits, it has been a great thing for me. It helps to have a bbq and some beer with friends once in while or else you do feel like you just study math because you have nothing better to do.
I love your videos. They are so calm and collected. Adding your soothing voice to that feels so relaxing. Informative and relaxing is a combination you don't see very often imo. Keep up the good work!
I dual majored in both Math and Computer Engineering, and now I'm halfway through a PhD in Electrical Engineering. Every year until last year was more isolating than the last, and it was horrible. I'm starting to do better now, but I have a very long way to go and it's still soul-crushing some days. So I appreciate this video a lot
Damn, I majored in math and electrical/computer engineering and I'm currently applying for PhDs, though not in EE...I did a masters in biomedical engineering and found that it was way more social and a lot less isolating, so I'm hoping I can maintain this level of socialization when I'm in my PhD. I hope things get better for you, friend. You're doing great.
Same thing with metallurgy - but we had ASM & TMS-AIME - we even had local social meetings. That's the problem with mathematics - you need to have social meetings - quite difficult in these days.
graduated earlier this year studying math and made 0 friends in the 3 years, it gets very lonely, but im glad I'm at least not alone with this feeling. thank you for this, and if any uk people here are interested in math and wanna talk lmk!!!
Yes it's absolutely true, I'm all alone😔. If I look back today what I gained in terms of knowledge, money that's okay but in the bottom of my heart I am all alone. People are getting married, going for dating but I am all surrounded by bunch of mathematics books and computers. Previously I used to play video games but now it doesn't fascinating me at all.
@@TheMathSorcerer Hey math sorcerer. I have a problem, that is 4X+2X= 4+4X. I feel bad because I cannot solve this problem. please please solve this problem
The world is full of passionate people. They are a minority, but they are out there. And it can be lonely. But you don’t have to be stuck there. Whether you want to be mathematician, a musician, or a novelist, you have to go out there and be a part of the world.
I love math ❤I am a 53 yard old woman! I worked all my life with physically demanding jobs. Short cut never use my brain, as young I loved the basic math , and today I always come to TH-cam to learn algebra my favorite of math!❤ thank you peace
I'm a maths student, yet I enjoy the solitude. Sadly I can't join any study groups because all of the other students are WAY older than me, but having a nice youtube community is like a study group of its own:)
Thanks for another VERY thoughtful and compassionate video essay. The social circle idea is useful, practical and energizing. Please consider doing a video on “The Cartoon Guide to Calculus” by Larry Gonick.
I just looked up math seminars for my local university because of your suggestion and there's a talk on covariance matrices tomorrow that I'm gonna hit up now. Thanks Prof.
This is part of the reason why as a Theoretical/Mathematical physics student I ended up gravitating towards the Astronomy department during my Master's... The string theory graduate students were always stuck to their desks, reading, and seemed somewhat depressed. The Astronomers on the other hand were drinking coffee and laughing about some FRB or star they recently observed, followed perhaps by karaoke and beers in the evening. If you love something a lot it is nice to do it together with others whilst having fun, instead of just masochistically working more, and more, and more...
I definitely relate to this hard. I've always been very naturally shy and not very good at making friends, so I would habitually focus on my homework starting in middle school and through high school. I never really gained the social skills to meet or talk to people and developed a lot of anxiety and low-self esteem, which caused me to focus on school work, which stopped me from socializing and so on and so forth. Now I'm in first year engineering and have only a couple friends from high school, I've barely met anyone at university (none of whom I talk to outside class), and trying to imagine getting into a relationship feels like a joke to be honest. I still love STEM stuff and am glad I'm moving into engineering, but I feel like I'm only getting deeper into the cycle.
Completely agree. Math makes us think differently and when I was a university student I felt lonely so many times. Solving a problem that so many people didn't do it was a sweet moment. Later on I was stuck and doing another activity increased my creativity. Nice videos Sir and nice advice. I hope the same video in your Spanish channel. God bless you.....
Nowdays lots of people joining in the Data Science/Machine Learning hype, those are basically Math in disguise anyways. They just name it Data Science or Machine Learning simply to draw more ppl into the hype.
I'm just learning coding math, but yea it's kinda lonely at times. Social relationships are really important. I have just a few acquintances who are into programming and math, and sometimes I just result to info dumping on innocent people.
This is such great advice. I was so horribly lonely when I studied mathematics for 6 years. I felt like I was unluckily surrounded by a culture of people who 'hate math' which is something that I love and friends never happened. I didn't try, but I should have put in the effort. It significantly affected my mental health in bad ways. A big part of mathematics is communication with other people, it's not healthy to be completely isolated. Ultimately I stopped doing mathematics seriously as a result of this isolation. Wish I had some better guidance when I was younger.
surfing...yes sir. I wanted to try Cabo, work my way up to Mavericks but never went out there. I wasn't a very good surfer, but was stoked every chance I got. in awe or something I remember this one summer day in '95, on the East Coast. A place called Spanish House near Sebastian Inlet. rain was coming down hard, a downpour, with lightning popping the water several miles out. Me and some other guy crouched under our boards, but these beautiful 7' sets kept rolling in, so I said F*** it dude, screw the lightning, if we live through it, we'll remember it forever! he said yeah, your crazy, I paddled out alone. caught great waves on a hand-made 10' Bruce Jones for hours. rain became a light mist. was awesome. totally qualified as a perfect day
It's not sunshine and mellows on the other side too. You can make friends ,get betrayed ,taken for granted and you regret socialising at some point in life. Books are better. You are doing alright.
I got my copy of that Halmos linear algebra in a second hand bookstore in Bariloche, Argentina. To my surprise it came with a FORTRAN punch card!...I presume that the previous owner used it as bookmark :)
math is by necessity an individual struggle. study groups tend not to help as they obstruct concentration so i advise going to recitation classes and also use a professor's office hours with good judgment of course ;-)
I think you have cursed me, I picked up 3 more math books today! Introduction to Mathematical Analysis by Parzynski and Zipse, circa 1982 And....Drum Roll please! Calculus, Early Transcendentals by James Stewart, 4th ed....with the matching Student Solutions Manual. Each one costs $1 at the local college library used book sale section! There were probably 20 Blitzer Intermediate Algebra textbooks available, $1ea.
PS, watched Stand and Deliver last night about the teacher at Garfield HS in Los Angeles, Ca who taught his students Calculus when the staff said it couldn't be done, all 18 passed the AP Calc exam in 1982! :)
Fantastic and important video. Nothing contributes more significantly to your ability to do math than taking care of yourself. (Arguably, it's more important to take care of yourself as an end in itself, but I'm structuring this as a math-centric pitch because I know the psychological trajectory of math nerds deep in their passions.)
hello there! I’m a student in Mexico, your tips are really useful but I would like to say that it also depends on culture. In my country it’s extremely easy to make friends and you can make them everywhere, do not limit yourself there is always someone with the same interests as you^^ friends can always make every situation better
I really appreciate you. Your videos make me feel less lonely on this journey of concentrated and rigorous thought. I too love the smell of a wonderful book. Thank you math sorcerer.
I'm glad to find that I'm not the only one who sniffs old math books. It's strange that they do smell good and rich. I still occasionally take a hit off Smoley's Logarithmic and Trigonometric Tables.
I spent some time as math student and what supprised me the most about other math students is the fact that although they were much more inteligent then me they could not have find any solution how to be more socialable and more likable person as i did. Like i spend a lot of time thinking about how to run the conversations , how to be a likable person by thinking a lot about talks , possible resoponses etc. This analitical approach I think should be much easier to master for math students who practise thier analitical skills daily and are insenly gifted yet when i first opened up about my way of thinking in conversation they were shocked that this approach can give actual results. I think the solution to this is leaving thier comfort zone which is math. Like if throught entire school you were praized by your math skills and academical achivments it's understantable that you would not give up easliy on that respect that you recive while doing math related stuff. So you would stick more and more to mathmatics , you would go pursue it by studing it full time and when you need to move out of that zone you're on unexplored sea. All i can say is to wish ppl with that problem to go out and conquer your fears/fullfil your social needs. Good luck
As much as it can be a lonely existence, it's honestly a very pleasant one. And it's not like I don't go out, hang with friends, do other things I enjoy - I do, but it's nice to have something more...consoling I suppose. In a sense, for an introvert like myself, it's like going back to a very trustworthy friend. It's a very comforting way to unwind, just in a sea of logic and numbers and theorems. Getting something wrong with math doesn't ruin anything. It doesn't spark hate, wars or feuds - it just means going at it again as if nothing ever happened, and seeing if it works.
While there are a lot of resources for connecting people to each other online, I think it's important to not neglect IRL socialization if possible. Socialization is a set of skills, and only socializing with people online behind a veil (or wall) of anonymity will develop those skills in a lopsided fashion.
Over the years I’ve explained to a number of (presumably lonely) intellectuals that friendships, and especially dating, involve a skill sets which one needs to develop. If you are reasonably intelligent, you could treat friendships/dating as something to try out, and learn more about by attempting it, and learning from the experiences. I assert that one may hone the skill set and get better at it, much like other pursuits.
Its not just math, people in any field who engage with abstract level work are likely to be lonely because the average person can't relate with their thought process. Its why Intelligent people are likely to be lonely.
Thanks for covering this topic. I'm not good at math, I do security audits of software (found a security bug in openssl back in november), trying to learn number theory bc I want to move towards cryptography and specialize in that.. the social isolation is the worst. I keep thinking, if I just find bigger security bugs, in bigger targets, life will get better.. but it doesn't. Its not how it works, like you said, you need to actively work towards it, and truth is, no matter how hard I push, there will always be people much better than me, and I'm having a bit of a crisis right now.. it's been months since I last talked to anyone irl, spent time with a friend. Just not worth all the sacrifice anymore. /endrandomventontheinternet
I really felt this. I study economics as a bachelors but I started to really look into Psychology, Philosophy math and physics. I love the implementation and how to derive personal insight to live a good life. Yes I do study a lot and i don't have a lot of friends. As Franklin said : Many friends many trouble, one friend no trouble. I think if one really wants to understand a topic in a profound way he will have to sacrifice time and you will be lonely. I think it is worth it and I love the people I now my friends
I'm a philosophy student and before studying philosophy I was hanging out with friends nearly every day, now I constantly get stuck in a loop where I push friends away to make time for philosophy but then I get so lonely that I loose energy. It's a damn fine balance.
An introduction to modern philosophy: in 6 philosophical problems by Aubrey Castell. It’s an army training manual published by the United States armed forces institute.
@@TheMathSorcerer I recommend Classics of Philosophy by Pojman and Vaughn if you want a good cheap collection. The Plato translation isn't the best but else than that it's great.
I am approaching math from a classical perspective outside of today's class room style. It's mostly catching logic, not rationalizing / being uncertain, allowing the mind drive your perception and to ask questions according to the phenomenology you experience. It's way more into philosophy than most people realise.
at my university, the math and physics students have an amazing community. we spend all the time together, working on boards, talking to faculty, and engaging with the material. thus even though we never go to college parties, we avoid feeling lonely and have a great friend group. that's how my best friend and i met our boyfriends, and now our double dates consist of doing research
No need to feel bad, you didn't missed out on anything. I am the type of the guy who goes out in parties, have many friends, kinda popular one in the group. And one thing I should say is, mathematics really does show how in-depth thinking a person is capable of and how much logic they could understand. Maths is important as it a universal language. For all the folks out there, please keep on doing, life is big enough to make friends. Even Friends respects those who make sense, and mathematics does helps one building it.
Until I learned basic math concepts, the how and why of math, I wasted HOURS trying to understand the subject. Not until I took my first basic physics course, did math FINALLY make any sense. When I learned that all physics happened at the margin, meaning that physics depended on energy change, math became contextual, and understandable. That's why most people hate math because, as it's conventionally taught, connects to nothing. I got very lucky, and that's not the way to learn anything...
It’s a peaceful life…
True
This video hit hard. I've always had a hard time making and maintaining healthy friendships; partly due to all my time sunk into STEM topics, namely math and computer programming; and partly due to the mental health issues that I've been dealing with for years. I really appreciate that this isn't just a "Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me"-type of video and that you actually give what seems to me to be really sound and solid advice. I appreciate you and everyone else here more than I can say.
I was in a PhD program for maths and it was a grueling experience. I picked up maths later in life (around 24) and I spent the good part of 7 years just doing maths (from when I began undergrad to when I left my PhD program). I love pure maths, and all of my time was focused on reading textbooks to learn more than what they were teaching me in class. I did a lot of research in undergrad (nothing interesting by PhD standards); I had no friends, no social life at all. My days were centered around working out and doing maths. I went to grad school and it was more of the same, except the maths was 10x harder, the problems and exams were 100x more difficult (and unsolvable most of the time lol) along with all of my teaching responsibilities. Everything became depressing, and I wasn’t getting anywhere. My mental health was completely trashed and I wasn’t really going anywhere in my life. I wasn’t good enough to research something of actual value so everything I was doing was basically busy work. I made the decision to leave the program. Shortly after I got into web development and app building, started a company and now I’m here lol I still do math for fun, I’m currently reading a textbook on representation theory, and I’m building a cross platform maths app outside of work. I think for me, and a lot of people in hardcore stem fields like maths, is to sit down and do a serious cost benefit analysis. Ask yourself if you are intelligent and creative enough to make this happen. Are you prepared for the life sacrifices that need to be made to get a PhD? And if you feel that you are, really sit down and research PhD programs from top to bottom. What are their requirements? What are their exams like? Talk to the faculty, talk to the students, talk to graduates, see if the campus is in a place you like. These are all super important things since you’ll be spending all of your time their and if you’re in an environment that makes you miserable you’re most certainly going to fail.
Moreover, there absolutely nothing wrong with answering those questions in the negative. I think we live in a world where people are told they can be and do anything that they want, which is true to an extent, but a lot of times you just can’t lol or it will cost your mental health to achieve
@@Tony-cm8lg Did quitting the program improve your social life though?
I say embrace it and realize who you are, then work around it if you want to. Easier said than done however
@@Tony-cm8lg yeah I'm defending my thesis in 6 months and it is definitely not for everyone
@@hopy51 No not really, but it sure as hell improved my life by doing something that I was more happy about
I am weak in math and I am trying to change that. As a STEM student, its been really hard coping with the mathematics coursework. I love your channel. It gives me hope to get better.
Keep at it! You will get there but it takes time.
1: If you have not done so, memorize the multiplication table through 12 x 12 at a minimum. I had the table up though 10 x 10 memorized in the 2nd grade (i.e., at 7 years old). Math becomes so much easier when you can do multiplication in your head. You can find one online that you can print out.
2: If you are in high school or beyond, memorize the Greek alphabet. Lowercase characters are used more than uppercase. During lectures the teacher/professor may discuss a problem without pointing out which symbol on the board is alpha, or pi, or sigma. I do not think you can get through college math without knowing the Greek alphabet (only 24 symbols).
3: Once you learn a subject, do a lot of problems in that subject. This is how you memorize the subject.
4: If you do not have a good grasp of a previous subject, go back and review it in your spare time. It is likely that not knowing that previous subject will leave you at a disadvantage in future subjects. Except for really advanced subjects, you should be able to obtain an accomplished level of knowledge in each subject.
5: If you do not understand, ask questions. I remember that we were suddenly using sin^2 + cos^2 = 1. I thought it was some magical identity that someone discovered, only to learn that from the Pythagorean a^2 + b^2 = c^2. Dividing everything by c^2 gives you sin^2 + cos^2 = 1.
6: If you do not know what sine (sin) and cosine (cos) means, learn this as it only involves ratios of the sides of triangles and the concept is used in almost all subjects beyond trig. If you remember the definition of sine and cosine, trig problems and identities become easy. For example, tan = sin/cos, cot = cos/sin, sec = 1/cos, csc = 1/sin.
@@ndotl Thankyou so much for your advice. I deeply appreciate it. I actually am an adult now i am currently working. But i used to fail math alot when i was in high school or barely cleared my university math papers. One of my goals, in life is to learn to love math by getting better at it. I have improved alot but i am still far from getting the point i wish to be.
@@mathsunmasked56 Thankyou so much 💕
@@charlesK12960 Under your logic, you are 'designed' for living in your mama's basement until your are 30. You are also designed to be a troll. Not an Internet troll, a real troll. Just look in the mirror.
That's right, at lunchtime at school, I was sitting alone with my math book and solving equations
But I'm happy now because I thought I was the only one.
But the strange thing is how some people see mathematics as a boring and difficult thing, while others see it as a best friend when they feel lonely
It can be a self-created prison, if you're not careful.
Ive always hated math, more than any subject, it causes me anguish.
@@zachheisen5022 I know this is annoying to hear, but when people say they hate math they almost always mean math class in secondary school, and that is an important distinction. Schools do not actually teach mathematics, at least, the real thing
@@absolutezero6190 Trust me, i know the meaning of the word hate and what it carries, and i can say with certainty that I hate math.
@@zachheisen5022
Watch pi 1998. It might interest you in mathematics
Mathematics is a very niche subject. Everyone takes math classes in school, but a majority never even get to study calculus. Most of those who even get that far never go beyond that, and even most who get to calc 3, diff eq and linear algebra take those classes because they are in some other STEM field. On top of that, I always have to remind myself that a lot of people forget most of the math that they learn.
It's so hard to talk about my studies/work with people because on top of the smallness of the population of people who are conversant with some abstract mathematics, it's not like other fields where a short "blurb" summarizing the area can start a conversation. A lot of the time, explaining the mathematical work I do just goes right over people's heads. It's very isolating.
There's also the stigma, stereotypes, and assumptions that people often associate with math people, and often these distance people from us because they make us seem unrelatable and 1-dimensional people.
Fortunately, there are some outside of mathematics that have the respect and wisdom not to put us into a box, and can actually appreciate what we do. I'm lucky to have married someone like this, since they are hard to come by.
2nd yr cs major right here and I'm feeling it already. I breezed through freshman year due to my prev experience w coding and I was "cool" enough to have this awesome friend group where we just had a lot of fun and partied every weekend. Second year came in and I've p much isolated myself from most of my friends because I never have time to hangout w them no matter how badly I wanted to.
Most of them were business majors or some non-stem majors that could never understand how much time we have to invest in our classes just to get a decent grade. It's exhausting having to juggle between my social life and academics, I've just accepted that I'm not smart enough nor talented enough to handle both at the same time.
I feel the same way when I listen to algebraic geometry talks in a seminar. Goes over my head very quickly.
The math that comes after Diff. Eq., Calc III, and Linear Algebra is where *math gets interesting!* I'm glad I understand mathematics. It allows me to appreciate the divinity inherent in Reason.
I’d love to spend time hearing you talking about math, hope we can get connect
Sad situation, wish more people could be interested in educating themselves
I'm a math person, ex grad student (in physics), all that jazz, was never particularly interested in deep relationships beyond "casual friends to play video games with once or twice a month" until I was like, nearly 30. although I think that was mostly becuase it's when the burnout hit really hard.
life's more than being brainy
If you're lonely because of your work, find some people that are doing the same type of work.
Its not that easy as you think it is.
@@dragileinchen1485 It depends. If you're the only one doing the type of work that you do, you are absolutely correct. I once met a guy that sells freight train locomotives for a living.
@@Zone_Stomper Yeah but if you are really specialized in a deep maths field, there are like 4 other people around the globe that can even start to get a grasp on your work. Its lonely af. :/ luckily im not there yet, but im on my way.
@@dragileinchen1485 It sure isn't. I like math, but most of the math people I find are either WAY above my level or way below my level. Not too many right at my level.
It’s quite insane how specialized some math fields are. It is not at all an exaggeration to say a literal handful of people in human history would be capable of understanding what you work on, and it’s even less likely that you come into contact with them. It’s hopelessly sad once you stop becoming anything more than a student.
I agree with you. I have trouble with this too. I love to read. I love to read about math, physics, and philosophy. I am an introvert but have trouble making friends because I am disabled , because I cannot drive, and because I have trouble with smalltalk. I am 28. I earned a degree in English. I loved studying at the university.
Why English? Sounds like you should have done a STEM subject.
@@Grassmpl I have learning disabalaties in math and also CP. As a result, I am not and was not good enough at math to study something like applied math, physics, engineering, or chemistry. As a result of my cp I am too uncordinated to fufill the lab requirments for a degree in chemistry that is why I studied English instead of a STEM subject.
The reason I study math is that I crave information (I seek out new facts and ideas). I've found this is my main obstacle to connecting with people. Places like Facebook and Reddit are very low on information (because they consist of repeated predictable messages), and so are most movies, etc. But these are the things that most people like, for some reason that I don't share.
I'm a mathematician and I'm with you here.
Any person that is fiercely invested into an activity is going to tend to spend their time on it rather then cultivating relationships, including myself. Especially with such a timesink as mathematics. You only have a finite amount of time in a day, and sometimes you have to sacrifice other aspects of life.
Fortunately it’s not forever.
your math videos help me when I'm going thru tough times even for non-math related reasons
Glad to hear it!!!
Even though I am a mechanical engineering student, I am minoring in applied mathematics and I joined a SIAM (society of industrial and applied mathematics) chapter at my university. It's honestly great what kinds of things happen when a bunch of math nerds come together and attempt to socialize LOL. Everyone from freshmen to PhD students to seasoned professors show up to our meetings and seminars and its quite wonderful :D I'm currently running for secretary!
There is a quote from the Paper Chase, "This is the unbroken chain, knowledge passed from person to person". When I am lonely, I lean on the idea that I am a part of something larger.
That said, I think there is this strange expectation that Mathematicians can sit down and just knock out difficult questions. It takes a lot to convince my students that unless I am working on something with them, where I have made it through the wall of frustration to some level of understanding, that I am doing the exact same thing as them. I struggle, I'm wrong. a lot. But since no one sees anything other than the polished product, there is this assumption that ideas come to the page fully wrought and ready to roar.
So, I think that is one of those lurking factors contributing to the loneliness factor. I hope I am not alone in this, but when people ask me what I do, I usually say I am a Math Educator, and those people tend to then spend some amount of time loudly proclaiming how much they hate the subject. That certainly tints social interactions a bit.
Math can get very lonely sometimes... anyhow here are some of the best soul-sucking math textbooks that I know of!
haha
Too deep man
I'm in my 3rd year of Bachelors program in physics now. I've always been a bit of a loner, a bit of a weirdo. Having hard time interacting and genuinely connecting with people. But this year something happened that broke me completely. I've completely secluded myself, I think I have attended only a couple of weeks of university this semester, and the rest were spent home, alone. I don't know what was it exactly that caused it, but the experience was horrible. I can probably count the amount of social interactions I had this year on one of my hands, so I'm fucked socially, and since I skipped practically every class that I had I am also fucked academically.
I really want to change it, change both of those things. My breakdowns and introspections and other experiences that I had in the past half a year have been very painful but they had taught me important things. I know it is not too late for me or for anybody. It will take an ungodly amount of effort to fix the mess that I have made, but it is possible.
Hang in there people, you haven't truly lost until you've given up. There are many people like you and me that go through these things and that feel the same way, you are not alone
@Certyfikowany Przewracacz Hulajnóg Elektrycznych Holy fuck this is the saddest thing ive ever read
Finishing my applied mathematics degree this spring! I think you hit the nail on the head - I was forced to become extremely distant with my best friends just because I couldn't handle not succeeding academically. I kept telling myself 'things will go back to normal after I finish x and have a chance to spend time with them' but that never was the case; surprisingly, people close to me would not pause their social lives/growth just because I had analysis homework (/s). The distance eventually became too much and we all just drifted apart.
I had to learn that the hard way and this semester I finally was able to find some semblance of a balance by working with my peers in my hardest classes which made studying with other students into a place to make friends. Many of those friends have now applied to grad school and as much as I want to go, I'm trying to put the lessons I painfully learned about happiness into practice and take some time to breathe before seriously considering going (...might self study with some of your book recommendations though)
I feel as though I'm being spoken to directly in this video. I feel that math has taken so much out of my life, and I'm not sure how willing I am to invest more time trying to learn it while others are making meaningful relationships. That being said, I recognize its intrinsic value. it feels wonderful to solve a proof or do something clever with math, but the fomo hits so hard when I see the very few friends that I have reminiscing on their pasts.
thats right. dont get FOMO. get Jesus
it's a peculiar thing. I used to feel like Im different from those who dread loneliness, who fill their time with others to prevent any moment of self reflection. I think people similar avoid recursive reflection that can come with inner dialogue, as that part of us is churning at a concrete problem.
I'm not sure how we experience loneliness, but my gut instinct feels that those who primarily think about things over people, tend to make the most out of solitude. Though, this feature leaves us completely unprepared for the problem of people!
"the problem of people" 😂
"the problem of people" - That is so true. 😂
i wish i was like that so i could focus more on my maths because i love it so much. i enjoy drama and gossip way too much to become a hermit
As a child, I never thought of people. Only things. My childhood was not great, but I was happy. But as I started to be more consious of people more than things, I became more and more depressed. People need to remember that while being lonely is bad, you should never prioritize other people over your own identity
@@kadvidim6528 You can only serve others from a defined identity. Those without this prerequisite, make issues for others in the social realm.
you just blew my mind. this seems unrelated, but, ever since i was a kid i've always been a highly passionate artist. i quickly got into making long comics (not just shorts like on the back of a newspaper) and it was extremely rewarding being able to tell different stories with my own characters visually. as a heavily abused and neglected child who was bullied at school as well, it was cathartic and grounding. it filled in that loneliness and padded in a ton of time.
in my mid-to-late teens, my relationship with art changed when the cathartic flow state i'd get into, (something that had me sat in the same spot drawing for 7-10 hours at a time), was replaced with possessive episodes of trauma flashbacks and renumerating. different sources of chronic pain made the task of drawing doubly punishing, but (because from abusive parenting that undervalued my health and wellbeing) i tried to not acknowledge them as a concern worth accomodating, or else i would be making excuses.
nowadays (i'm 24), i've done a lot of processing and am a lot more at ease with the different sources of my trauma. i'm better able to engage with the different reliving episodes and fears that i might have otherwise been worried about, and i'm in living a much better place overall, too.
but... art is, and always has been, so important for me. even if i am better equipped to draw, when considering any of the different projects i feel passionate about and am sure of their potential, they don't get much further beyond conceptualizing and basic animations or storyboarding.
you just solved this question i've been grappling with, of why it's almost like i've lost my passion in a way, or that i've lost my fervor when it comes to art. i'm not a lonely child anymore who has to find ways of filling my time and stimulating myself mentally and seeing through numerous troubling stories in order to find the proper resolutions, like i'd do with my characters, comics or written stories. while i'm still disabled because of my ptsd and physical conditions, there are still things in my life i have to (and WANT to) take care of and be present for. animation is a hiiighly time consuming task. so are comics, and my body has already been practically saying no to that level of productivity for a long time in ways that ignoring them originally now means i'll have to pay for them for the rest of my life.
i miss my flow states. i'm deeply disappointed by the shelved projects i seemed to feel so immersed in planning before, sans the lingering doubts and shame that permeate this process mentally. finding myself rarely drawing anymore, i question if i really am an artist anymore. even if i want to push through my pain and draw anyway (which neither you nor i should do), it's just not the same anymore.
you made me realize that: i don't need art in the same way i used to anymore. i just don't. maybe i can still find ways to illustrate and tell stories that serves me nowadays, but trying to shoehorn myself into the super-productive art whiz i'd amped myself up to be for a decade plus has only caused more deep disappointment and uncertainty about who i am as a person, and even who i've been this whole time.
i'm not the bullied, abused, neglected kid with no friends, anymore. i don't need to fill all of that empty time cooped up inside by delving into my own universe. my life is full with people i love and whose relationships with me that i want to tend to. i have different physical care needs than i did when i was 8. i have different responsibilities, too. it's not just that the pains in my body are saying we can't do 8 hour drawing sessions anymore (let alone 2). i genuinely don't want to neglect my different responsibilities in the face of art--whether that's to myself, my friends or anything else in my life.
this has been a major issue i've been grappling with and feeling shameful about for a long time now, so thank you for resolving this question for me.
We appreciate your consistency all the way. More blessings to you.
This resonates so much with my own experience. I have lost relationships and sacrificed other stuff for my passion in math and programming. I’m still in college and came to the same making-social-corcles-is-essential conclusion myself. Thank you for this video
Thanks for sharing this:)
and good luck and Happy New Year:)
the loneliness is not just because you spend time studying and neglect other parts of life. it's because your mind is constantly off in some kinda platonic realm and other people can't relate to that. it's not necessarily a better way to be, it's just different.
cringe brag
@@AquinasBased haha yeah i think i was drunk when i wrote this... very cringe
@@amesoeurs it's very true though, and many people cringe when they're faced with reality... which frankly is cringe
@@david0alohaI think he was sarcastic.
@@AquinasBasedyou're projecting your insecurity by insulting. Bragging wasn't the intention of oc.
These comments make me really sad. I also love math and I'm glad to have found a friend I can discuss it with. I hope the people in the comments find someone too 🙏, everyone deserves to be able to talk about their interests.
Thank you for sharing. I have a low social battery myself. Lurking in math spaces online helps stave off the loneliness as well. And sometimes I even contribute to the conversation.
Have always been both comfortable with math (the "objectivity in numbers"), and really love being alone.
As a professional horseplayer it has really worked out pretty well.
Enjoy the loneliness people!!
Horse player? Does that mean you bet on horses and study the subject from a statistical prediction angle?
@@feraudyh Briefly then...
The "math" refers to the Kelly Criterion (gambling formula not investment formula) which both, confirms a legit advantage and, dictates the "optimal wager" as a percentage of one's bankroll.
My particular approach to handicapping is a "Pace" approach, which involves fractional speed and relative position and ,obviously, deceleration.
P.S. The "math" is the easy part. The handicapping is a bear!...Enjoy!!!
And I find that math discords are really fun too! I just joined one and its really nice to have someone helping me out when i dont understand a problem
One factor that I think can be too easily overlooked - most other academic disciplines share a baseline understanding with the general population. There is a story to be told to the layperson about a historic battle, or the structure of a mountain, or the differences between lived experiences resulting in different philosophies. Even in Physics, there are phenomenological pictures to paint, light behaves like a wave and a particle, and so on. Maths isn't like that, in the sense that the interesting ideas often require a lot of scaffolding to reach. Having a conversation about what I actually do as a maths researcher is impossible, it's hard enough to explain to mathematicians working in different fields to my own.
Not to mention the culture that has built up around maths in general society being one of disdain - decades of sadistic or bored maths teachers, and parental pressures, forcing many students out of the natural love and aptitude they might have for the material. Because of the failings of that system, people have come to view maths as the pursuit of the outliers, the hyper intelligent, rather than something that anyone can do and enjoy.
It makes it impossible to communicate to the majority of people, and it's quite ostracising. Either you force people to relive their most traumatic schooldays, or you bore people, and either way, it's nearly impossible to find enough of a shared background to explain what is interesting to you.
The only solutions to these issues are long term sadly. For now, the advice regarding cultivating other interests is good advice. Even if it still sucks that I can't tell my partner, or my family and friends, how my day was. However patient and interested they are.
Perfect timing! One of the most important videos I’ve ever watched. I’ve been lonely and depressed for so long and had a huge breakdown and hopefully also breakthrough last weekend. I’ve got to change my life drastically. I’ve got to force myself to have a life outside of math. It’s hard, but I’ve got to try and do it for my mental and physical health.
You should make a list with books on every level and topic with full solutions.
I am sure that such a video would do well. Plus you can link them in the description.
Oh interesting, so books with full solutions, how interesting! Love this idea!
@@TheMathSorcerer
Thanks for answering so quickly.
I think there is an audience for such a video that would very much welcome it.
One of the reasons I don't study math as often is because I'm expected to juggle around with a computer and books, and electronics are quite the bane of modern studying.
Big difference between being alone and being lonely. I like working on statistics alone (part of my job). I get completely immersed in it - it's very satisfying 😌
A confession: I love the reviews you do on Math books... simply the best. Have you thought of doing a review on High School Math books...since there might those teenage students considering a career in math and will soon be entering high school and might eventually take advanced math classes like the AP Exams, etc? What are some really cool high school level math books that one can self study from...?
I don't know why but this video was very calming
I'm on a break midway through college. I'll be out for a while. But I went back to study high school maths in 2015 (at age 43), then went onto A level and then college. I essentially put some life long hobbies on hold while I did so. Also, for a number of years, at the weekends, you'd find me in a coffee shop with math textbook open, or in a library, where I would spend hours trying to learn.
To be fair, I have kind of been a 'solitary' character since I was very young even before I understood what solitude was; my mother told me about my habbits as a young toddler which really emphasised the point. Unfortunately I have realized over the years that I get very consumed in stuff, whether that be study OR hobbies. Crazy thing is, I rarely suffer loneliness - but it does cause a few issues with people in my life. Admittedly, my closest friends are somewhat hermit-like too, and 3 out of 4 of us siblings are pretty much the same. Maybe my age might also be a bit of a contributing factor. I'm 51 now. I appreciate the fact that your reflections were not peppered with judgements about the rights or wrongs; some of us have probably done a lot of self-judging around this subject (definitely me)
My guess is many/most mathematicians score high on neurotic/paranoia-type traits. And the intense concentration and precision required almost certainly overlaps with OCD personalities.
I also think a lot of gifted math people neglect relationships with others (I know I did, and I regret it every day).
Even one my greatest heroes, Kurt Godel, had a supportive wife without which he likely would have died much younger (and God bless her, cause I'm sure that guy was a handful).
He only ate food she cooked, actually, and he was starving and malnourished after her death, which greatly contributed to his demise.
@@locomotive9000 Yeah, I'm no expert on his personal life, but I read Rebecca Goldstein's book on Godel. What a fascinating character - I could hardly put the book down.
Excellent video as always. Also, some people don't perceive loneliness in the way others do, they can transfuse loneliness into some sort of 'solitude', like a sense of peace with loneliness. So perhaps a better word for such people would be solitary rather than lonely, i.e. being alone is not a problem to be cured... but if somebody is feeling that way, your video has excellent advice! My two cents worth.
Concerning the loss/sacrifice of a relationship. It is fortuitous to find another person that shares your love of the scholastic endeavors, and accepts the level of solitude between the two of you.
Cicero said all a man needs is a garden and a library to be content. If a man can find a companion that shares this sentiment, he needs nothing.
Hi brother i just wanted to say Thankyou to you! i always saw my friends do good in maths and get good grades and thought to myself maybe i have low iq, but i was not accepting it i one day somehow discoverd your channel where you were saying anyone could do Maths, and all praise to God my life changed from that day i did many question and was able to litreally teach one of my friend to solve a question😊 May God bless you
Thanks for sharing the video. Part of my work is teaching high school math. I always encourage students as well as the teachers to study math for easing and comforting the emotion because math is independent from the moods.
True, getting good at a discipline such as math will usually mean social life becomes an accessory.
Lovely video! I found myself having a really hard time over the pandemic while I was finishing out my undergrad, not only was I lonely but I was also struggling in my math classes and feeling like maybe I wasn’t good enough to pursue further education in math. But, I muddled through, sent in my applications and started in my PhD program this year. And it has been so much better that I could have even hoped, my cohort has been so lovely and supportive they really helped me fall back in love with math. It wasn’t without effort, you have to reach out, but it is so worth it. It will get better!
I loved the vibe of this video, talking bout something really worthy to talk like socializing more with the background of math books and revising them and talking about them too, remember me of those videos with people talking while playing some simple parkour game
☺️☺️
At 05:38 "This book is special to me" . This book is special to me too. This was the textbook for my first proper course in Abstract Algebra, which I took at the University of Queensland in Brisbane ,Australia a long time back ... I can't remember when, but it must have been in the 90_s. It's a great book for learning.
I'm a theoretical CS PhD student, so hopefully close enough to being a mathematician...
Here in Czechia, we have math olympiad and many other competitions for talented highschoolers, many of which organize summer camps for the kids. Those absolutely changed my life back then and I have done my best to pay that forward. I still have many wonderful friends from several faculties and universities that I met there.
This is a great a video giving us much to think about. Not all math people are lonely. Some are just mutually exclusive and Venn diagrams make up their social circles.
Playing online games with my friends who have moved away has been really important to me... comradery, overcoming challenges, and being silly like we were in high school.
We also should have spaces in mathematics departments set up for people to avoid this happening to math students. It shouldn't just be on lonely, geeky nerds like us to figure all this out on their own and fix it on their own. We live in a society for a reason and we should help each other.
i have never been a math person till one day i did the open day for engineering in uni. In those days i had a girlfriend, a lot of friend, i was an extrovert till that day i decided that would be my life. Me and her had a different vision of the future, she was the love of my life, but i left her to pursuit this way. I dedicated all of my self into math, physic, mechanic and all that stuff. Yes i got what i wanted but i'm now a lonely person, i lost her, i lost almost all my friend because i passed almost every day at studying, and most important i lost who i was. Take this type of life it's an hard choise, and i suggest to all out there that want to take this path to think about it really well.
I could never blame my lack of a social life on my math and physics pursuits, it has been a great thing for me. It helps to have a bbq and some beer with friends once in while or else you do feel like you just study math because you have nothing better to do.
I love your videos. They are so calm and collected. Adding your soothing voice to that feels so relaxing. Informative and relaxing is a combination you don't see very often imo. Keep up the good work!
I dual majored in both Math and Computer Engineering, and now I'm halfway through a PhD in Electrical Engineering. Every year until last year was more isolating than the last, and it was horrible. I'm starting to do better now, but I have a very long way to go and it's still soul-crushing some days. So I appreciate this video a lot
Damn, I majored in math and electrical/computer engineering and I'm currently applying for PhDs, though not in EE...I did a masters in biomedical engineering and found that it was way more social and a lot less isolating, so I'm hoping I can maintain this level of socialization when I'm in my PhD.
I hope things get better for you, friend. You're doing great.
Same thing with metallurgy - but we had ASM & TMS-AIME - we even had local social meetings. That's the problem with mathematics - you need to have social meetings - quite difficult in these days.
graduated earlier this year studying math and made 0 friends in the 3 years, it gets very lonely, but im glad I'm at least not alone with this feeling. thank you for this, and if any uk people here are interested in math and wanna talk lmk!!!
Awww don't be lonely! I'll be your friend 😁
I'm a plant nerd and I approve this message 😁
Yes it's absolutely true, I'm all alone😔. If I look back today what I gained in terms of knowledge, money that's okay but in the bottom of my heart I am all alone. People are getting married, going for dating but I am all surrounded by bunch of mathematics books and computers. Previously I used to play video games but now it doesn't fascinating me at all.
good luck my friend!!
@@TheMathSorcerer Hey math sorcerer. I have a problem, that is 4X+2X= 4+4X. I feel bad because I cannot solve this problem. please please solve this problem
The world is full of passionate people. They are a minority, but they are out there. And it can be lonely. But you don’t have to be stuck there. Whether you want to be mathematician, a musician, or a novelist, you have to go out there and be a part of the world.
@@kamleshdatt1999 bruh
I love math ❤I am a 53 yard old woman! I worked all my life with physically demanding jobs. Short cut never use my brain, as young I loved the basic math , and today I always come to TH-cam to learn algebra my favorite of math!❤ thank you peace
Check out "An Adventurer's Guide to Number Theory" by Richard Freidberg (Dover Publications).
this video feels safe. thank you.
I'm a maths student, yet I enjoy the solitude. Sadly I can't join any study groups because all of the other students are WAY older than me, but having a nice youtube community is like a study group of its own:)
Thanks for another VERY thoughtful and compassionate video essay.
The social circle idea is useful, practical and energizing.
Please consider doing a video on “The Cartoon Guide to Calculus” by Larry Gonick.
I'm addicted to maths books 😍😍
me too!!
Why?
@@resiliencewithin b'cuz I'm Assistant Professor of Mathematics 😌
Wow, Unfied Calculus by Smith, Salkover and Justice! I would suggest having a slide rule, too.
Thank you for making this :)
It's good to know the book has relation to the movie stand and deliver, a great movie 👍
Yes!!
That point about needing to make a change to not feel lonely is important to me.
I just looked up math seminars for my local university because of your suggestion and there's a talk on covariance matrices tomorrow that I'm gonna hit up now. Thanks Prof.
This is part of the reason why as a Theoretical/Mathematical physics student I ended up gravitating towards the Astronomy department during my Master's... The string theory graduate students were always stuck to their desks, reading, and seemed somewhat depressed. The Astronomers on the other hand were drinking coffee and laughing about some FRB or star they recently observed, followed perhaps by karaoke and beers in the evening.
If you love something a lot it is nice to do it together with others whilst having fun, instead of just masochistically working more, and more, and more...
Keep on being a real one! Thank you mathematics sorcerer!
Or just be a rational one. Then you are dense and countable. But if you wanna be smooth, be real.
@@Grassmpl good one!
I definitely relate to this hard. I've always been very naturally shy and not very good at making friends, so I would habitually focus on my homework starting in middle school and through high school. I never really gained the social skills to meet or talk to people and developed a lot of anxiety and low-self esteem, which caused me to focus on school work, which stopped me from socializing and so on and so forth. Now I'm in first year engineering and have only a couple friends from high school, I've barely met anyone at university (none of whom I talk to outside class), and trying to imagine getting into a relationship feels like a joke to be honest. I still love STEM stuff and am glad I'm moving into engineering, but I feel like I'm only getting deeper into the cycle.
i could be your friend :)
stumbled upon a video of yours. Going through your channel. I'm here for it
Completely agree. Math makes us think differently and when I was a university student I felt lonely so many times. Solving a problem that so many people didn't do it was a sweet moment. Later on I was stuck and doing another activity increased my creativity. Nice videos Sir and nice advice. I hope the same video in your Spanish channel. God bless you.....
Nowdays lots of people joining in the Data Science/Machine Learning hype, those are basically Math in disguise anyways. They just name it Data Science or Machine Learning simply to draw more ppl into the hype.
I'm just learning coding math, but yea it's kinda lonely at times. Social relationships are really important. I have just a few acquintances who are into programming and math, and sometimes I just result to info dumping on innocent people.
Maple? Sagemath? Which language are you using?
So few pages need to be studied to understand this subject. A completely insignificant amount of space for this important knowledge!
Halmos, a classic!
I studied from Fraleigh, but still failed Group Theory!!
This is such great advice. I was so horribly lonely when I studied mathematics for 6 years. I felt like I was unluckily surrounded by a culture of people who 'hate math' which is something that I love and friends never happened. I didn't try, but I should have put in the effort. It significantly affected my mental health in bad ways. A big part of mathematics is communication with other people, it's not healthy to be completely isolated. Ultimately I stopped doing mathematics seriously as a result of this isolation. Wish I had some better guidance when I was younger.
surfing...yes sir. I wanted to try Cabo, work my way up to Mavericks but never went out there. I wasn't a very good surfer, but was stoked every chance I got. in awe or something
I remember this one summer day in '95, on the East Coast. A place called Spanish House near Sebastian Inlet. rain was coming down hard, a downpour, with lightning popping the water several miles out. Me and some other guy crouched under our boards, but these beautiful 7' sets kept rolling in, so I said F*** it dude, screw the lightning, if we live through it, we'll remember it forever! he said yeah, your crazy, I paddled out alone. caught great waves on a hand-made 10' Bruce Jones for hours.
rain became a light mist. was awesome. totally qualified as a perfect day
WOW what a story!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know what you mean about those perfect days, they are so worth it:)
It's not sunshine and mellows on the other side too. You can make friends ,get betrayed ,taken for granted and you regret socialising at some point in life. Books are better. You are doing alright.
I got my copy of that Halmos linear algebra in a second hand bookstore in Bariloche, Argentina. To my surprise it came with a FORTRAN punch card!...I presume that the previous owner used it as bookmark :)
Wow
math is by necessity an individual struggle. study groups tend not to help as they obstruct concentration so i advise going to recitation classes and also use a professor's office hours with good judgment of course ;-)
peaceful at best, financially stressful at worst, but always lonely
When I saw the photo of those books I got a feeling of pleasant nostalgia.. those engaging times.. so nice...
I think you have cursed me, I picked up 3 more math books today!
Introduction to Mathematical Analysis by Parzynski and Zipse, circa 1982
And....Drum Roll please!
Calculus, Early Transcendentals by James Stewart, 4th ed....with the matching Student Solutions Manual.
Each one costs $1 at the local college library used book sale section!
There were probably 20 Blitzer Intermediate Algebra textbooks available, $1ea.
AWESOME!!!!
wow
PS, watched Stand and Deliver last night about the teacher at Garfield HS in Los Angeles, Ca who taught his students Calculus when the staff said it couldn't be done, all 18 passed the AP Calc exam in 1982! :)
Fantastic and important video. Nothing contributes more significantly to your ability to do math than taking care of yourself.
(Arguably, it's more important to take care of yourself as an end in itself, but I'm structuring this as a math-centric pitch because I know the psychological trajectory of math nerds deep in their passions.)
hello there! I’m a student in Mexico, your tips are really useful but I would like to say that it also depends on culture. In my country it’s extremely easy to make friends and you can make them everywhere, do not limit yourself there is always someone with the same interests as you^^ friends can always make every situation better
It's refreshing to see someone honest on youtube, talking about what he went through without the usual cliches
Would love a video talking about your research interests !
I really appreciate you. Your videos make me feel less lonely on this journey of concentrated and rigorous thought. I too love the smell of a wonderful book. Thank you math sorcerer.
I'm glad to find that I'm not the only one who sniffs old math books. It's strange that they do smell good and rich. I still occasionally take a hit off Smoley's Logarithmic and Trigonometric Tables.
I spent some time as math student and what supprised me the most about other math students is the fact that although they were much more inteligent then me they could not have find any solution how to be more socialable and more likable person as i did. Like i spend a lot of time thinking about how to run the conversations , how to be a likable person by thinking a lot about talks , possible resoponses etc. This analitical approach I think should be much easier to master for math students who practise thier analitical skills daily and are insenly gifted yet when i first opened up about my way of thinking in conversation they were shocked that this approach can give actual results. I think the solution to this is leaving thier comfort zone which is math. Like if throught entire school you were praized by your math skills and academical achivments it's understantable that you would not give up easliy on that respect that you recive while doing math related stuff. So you would stick more and more to mathmatics , you would go pursue it by studing it full time and when you need to move out of that zone you're on unexplored sea. All i can say is to wish ppl with that problem to go out and conquer your fears/fullfil your social needs. Good luck
As much as it can be a lonely existence, it's honestly a very pleasant one. And it's not like I don't go out, hang with friends, do other things I enjoy - I do, but it's nice to have something more...consoling I suppose. In a sense, for an introvert like myself, it's like going back to a very trustworthy friend. It's a very comforting way to unwind, just in a sea of logic and numbers and theorems.
Getting something wrong with math doesn't ruin anything. It doesn't spark hate, wars or feuds - it just means going at it again as if nothing ever happened, and seeing if it works.
While there are a lot of resources for connecting people to each other online, I think it's important to not neglect IRL socialization if possible. Socialization is a set of skills, and only socializing with people online behind a veil (or wall) of anonymity will develop those skills in a lopsided fashion.
Over the years I’ve explained to a number of (presumably lonely) intellectuals that friendships, and especially dating, involve a skill sets which one needs to develop. If you are reasonably intelligent, you could treat friendships/dating as something to try out, and learn more about by attempting it, and learning from the experiences. I assert that one may hone the skill set and get better at it, much like other pursuits.
Its not just math, people in any field who engage with abstract level work are likely to be lonely because the average person can't relate with their thought process. Its why Intelligent people are likely to be lonely.
Thanks for covering this topic. I'm not good at math, I do security audits of software (found a security bug in openssl back in november), trying to learn number theory bc I want to move towards cryptography and specialize in that.. the social isolation is the worst. I keep thinking, if I just find bigger security bugs, in bigger targets, life will get better.. but it doesn't. Its not how it works, like you said, you need to actively work towards it, and truth is, no matter how hard I push, there will always be people much better than me, and I'm having a bit of a crisis right now.. it's been months since I last talked to anyone irl, spent time with a friend. Just not worth all the sacrifice anymore. /endrandomventontheinternet
I really felt this. I study economics as a bachelors but I started to really look into Psychology, Philosophy math and physics. I love the implementation and how to derive personal insight to live a good life. Yes I do study a lot and i don't have a lot of friends.
As Franklin said : Many friends many trouble, one friend no trouble.
I think if one really wants to understand a topic in a profound way he will have to sacrifice time and you will be lonely.
I think it is worth it and I love the people I now my friends
I'm a philosophy student and before studying philosophy I was hanging out with friends nearly every day, now I constantly get stuck in a loop where I push friends away to make time for philosophy but then I get so lonely that I loose energy. It's a damn fine balance.
Hegel's last words btw: "There was only one man who ever understood me, and even he didn't understand me."
Philosophy is interesting. I actually just bought a philosophy book:)
@@TheMathSorcerer Yes. What book have you got? Could imagine logic being something you're into.
An introduction to modern philosophy: in 6 philosophical problems by Aubrey Castell. It’s an army training manual published by the United States armed forces institute.
@@TheMathSorcerer I recommend Classics of Philosophy by Pojman and Vaughn if you want a good cheap collection. The Plato translation isn't the best but else than that it's great.
I am approaching math from a classical perspective outside of today's class room style. It's mostly catching logic, not rationalizing / being uncertain, allowing the mind drive your perception and to ask questions according to the phenomenology you experience. It's way more into philosophy than most people realise.
This is why things like Hackathons, meetups, college societies, alumni societies are great.
Thank you so much. I really needed that. I bought Higher Algebra by hall and knight, i solve it almost everyday. Thank you for being a great teacher.
at my university, the math and physics students have an amazing community. we spend all the time together, working on boards, talking to faculty, and engaging with the material. thus even though we never go to college parties, we avoid feeling lonely and have a great friend group. that's how my best friend and i met our boyfriends, and now our double dates consist of doing research
No need to feel bad, you didn't missed out on anything. I am the type of the guy who goes out in parties, have many friends, kinda popular one in the group. And one thing I should say is, mathematics really does show how in-depth thinking a person is capable of and how much logic they could understand. Maths is important as it a universal language. For all the folks out there, please keep on doing, life is big enough to make friends. Even Friends respects those who make sense, and mathematics does helps one building it.
Until I learned basic math concepts, the how and why of math, I wasted HOURS trying to understand the subject. Not until I took my first basic physics course, did math FINALLY make any sense. When I learned that all physics happened at the margin, meaning that physics depended on energy change, math became contextual, and understandable. That's why most people hate math because, as it's conventionally taught, connects to nothing. I got very lucky, and that's not the way to learn anything...