The OP should have blocked them a lot sooner. Not only did they show massive favoritism by giving away large amounts of money to the golden child, but they also tried to gaslight the OP when he was upset about it.
OP should have said they channeling all their love and support to his mother and father in law bcs they need it more, so they needn’t be so dramatic and selfish to demand equal attention
Honestly, we should write The Golden Child for Dummies. Parents call you to complain about the whatever. “Oh mom, don’t be so dramatic.” “But OP, how could you do this to family?” “Family? You and Dad used to always say ‘Family Does The Thing.’… so when you didn’t do the thing for me back in the 00s, but did the thing for my kid bro… well… behavior is communication. You showed me who you were, and what I was to you. I listened. And yeah, I was jealous at first. But in the end, you SHOWED me that I wasn’t family. That I wasn’t wanted and wasn’t welcome. And I know how much you hate drama, so I just stopped putting myself into situations where you had to either declare me to be family, or disown me.” “Honestly, I assumed you were getting tired of constantly having to blow me off. Like you always said, ‘How many times do you have to tell me before I figured it out? I had to leave for college, and see how people acted towards family. How you act towards kid bro. And not towards me, because I’m not family. So I gotta wonder why you’re changing your tune now. But it’s not my place to talk to you about how you treat people. Family does that.”
It is worse that Liam didn't ask for the help. That they just gave it to him. If Liam had asked and OP hadn't then an argument could be made that if you don't ask you don't get. As a father of 2, both still in our home, I make efforts to communicate with both of them. We try, sometimes unsuccessfully, to be even handed in our treatment to both. But, when we can't we explain why and it never revolves arround one being more capable than the other.
I love the excuses about how the younger one wasn't as capable and independent as OP. Well, if you coddle one kid and leave the other one to fend for himself, the one you ignored has no choice but to become more independent and the one you coddle never learns to be capable much less independent. Their coddling created the dependent brother.
Good for you. Op parents never knew how terrible parents they are. Op is a scapegoat and his brother was the favorite. In the end both op parents and brother toxic trash and been thrown out in the last update. They will never apologize or except what has happened and never ever be repaired at all.
Here is what you should respond if they use the "you're just jealous" card: "Yes, I am. I am jealous, because you treated X better, showing that you care more about them than me." Just because jealousy is considered negative in society doesn't mean you can't feel it and be justified in doing so. If you loved your children equally, and treated them equally, one becoming jealous due to unfair treatment wouldn't happen.
While they may be excited about being grandparents to OP's children, their golden child's children would obviously take over their attention in time and that would hurt OP's children.
while not supporting, i can understand that the parent has a golden child and give everything to him while discarding the the responsible ones. But i cant understand how they did not think that this will hurt the other child and gaslighting him saying he wreck the family, family is everything bla bla.
I don’t understand how parents can treat their kids so differently and not realize the damage they are doing. Stop with your brother needs more help or you’re capable of taking care of yourself. That isn’t the point you showed favoritism, big time and now as a good parent you apologize and try to fix what you broke. Your child is telling you that you made them feel less than and unwanted and you throw a guilt trip at them. Grow up and take responsibility for your lousy parenting. For God’s sake apologize for what you did by ignoring your child’s comments you once again tell them they do not matter to you.
I can understand focusing more on the kid that needs it, BUT, once the other kid tells you that he feels left out then at that moment you should know that he needs you too. So you should apologise and change ways, not double down.
OP’s a bit too spineless for not calling out his parents for the favoritism and should have emailed his parents and call them failures before blocking them while also pointing out the things they did that they keep being in denial of.
So Liam lacks the independency to stand on his own feet and thus need love and support to be able to live. OP has gained independency at young age or at least was pretty much forced to become independent and thus "don't" need love and support from his "family". The parents lacks all sense of "independency" and thus needs OP's "love" and "support" in order to function as a "family" or else they will collapse entirely like a house of cards. So OP in the end is a single parent to his 2 "children" Liam (brother) and (Father) as well his technically first "daughter" (mother). I never though the day would come when I read that a parent (OP) was birthed by "his" children (father and mother), I always though the CHILD comes after the parents not the PARENTS comes after the child
Bla Bla Bla woe is me. the parents are right. you did not need the help. it is just as if one of you are sickly they would pay more attention to that child. your brother needed it more than you did.
@@WhiteVastNinjaWell they still have one child left. Maybe he’ll give them grandchildren-or not. OP seems to be happier without them and that’s all that matters.
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OP should listen to his wife. Block them ALL.
The OP should have blocked them a lot sooner. Not only did they show massive favoritism by giving away large amounts of money to the golden child, but they also tried to gaslight the OP when he was upset about it.
OP should have said they channeling all their love and support to his mother and father in law bcs they need it more, so they needn’t be so dramatic and selfish to demand equal attention
Yeah don't let them be a part of your kids life because as soon as your brother has a kid they're going to forget all about yours
8:50 I won't be surprised that the 'love and support' in OP's parents' eyes means love and support that would be expected from OP towards them
I think by love and support they mean the legal bear minimum for raising a child.
Honestly, we should write The Golden Child for Dummies. Parents call you to complain about the whatever. “Oh mom, don’t be so dramatic.” “But OP, how could you do this to family?” “Family? You and Dad used to always say ‘Family Does The Thing.’… so when you didn’t do the thing for me back in the 00s, but did the thing for my kid bro… well… behavior is communication. You showed me who you were, and what I was to you. I listened. And yeah, I was jealous at first. But in the end, you SHOWED me that I wasn’t family. That I wasn’t wanted and wasn’t welcome. And I know how much you hate drama, so I just stopped putting myself into situations where you had to either declare me to be family, or disown me.”
“Honestly, I assumed you were getting tired of constantly having to blow me off. Like you always said, ‘How many times do you have to tell me before I figured it out? I had to leave for college, and see how people acted towards family. How you act towards kid bro. And not towards me, because I’m not family. So I gotta wonder why you’re changing your tune now. But it’s not my place to talk to you about how you treat people. Family does that.”
It is worse that Liam didn't ask for the help. That they just gave it to him. If Liam had asked and OP hadn't then an argument could be made that if you don't ask you don't get.
As a father of 2, both still in our home, I make efforts to communicate with both of them. We try, sometimes unsuccessfully, to be even handed in our treatment to both. But, when we can't we explain why and it never revolves arround one being more capable than the other.
I love the excuses about how the younger one wasn't as capable and independent as OP. Well, if you coddle one kid and leave the other one to fend for himself, the one you ignored has no choice but to become more independent and the one you coddle never learns to be capable much less independent. Their coddling created the dependent brother.
Don’t ever let them close to your kid after treating you like that
Better answer would be to say you’re too busy making a living and paying student loans to visit.
Good for you. Op parents never knew how terrible parents they are. Op is a scapegoat and his brother was the favorite. In the end both op parents and brother toxic trash and been thrown out in the last update. They will never apologize or except what has happened and never ever be repaired at all.
I am surprised. Why OP didnt move away at 18, changing address/ phone no AND family name to take a clean break?
"full independence means no contact, dad, the crappy family is already dead to me"
Here is what you should respond if they use the "you're just jealous" card: "Yes, I am. I am jealous, because you treated X better, showing that you care more about them than me."
Just because jealousy is considered negative in society doesn't mean you can't feel it and be justified in doing so. If you loved your children equally, and treated them equally, one becoming jealous due to unfair treatment wouldn't happen.
At least grace had a spine.
While they may be excited about being grandparents to OP's children, their golden child's children would obviously take over their attention in time and that would hurt OP's children.
while not supporting, i can understand that the parent has a golden child and give everything to him while discarding the the responsible ones. But i cant understand how they did not think that this will hurt the other child and gaslighting him saying he wreck the family, family is everything bla bla.
Why is OP still in touch with toxic birth family? Why not move away/ change OP's family name/ change his phone number
love story
I don’t understand how parents can treat their kids so differently and not realize the damage they are doing. Stop with your brother needs more help or you’re capable of taking care of yourself. That isn’t the point you showed favoritism, big time and now as a good parent you apologize and try to fix what you broke. Your child is telling you that you made them feel less than and unwanted and you throw a guilt trip at them. Grow up and take responsibility for your lousy parenting. For God’s sake apologize for what you did by ignoring your child’s comments you once again tell them they do not matter to you.
good for him blocking the aholes,he dosen't need them in his life.
I can understand focusing more on the kid that needs it, BUT, once the other kid tells you that he feels left out then at that moment you should know that he needs you too. So you should apologise and change ways, not double down.
OP’s a bit too spineless for not calling out his parents for the favoritism and should have emailed his parents and call them failures before blocking them while also pointing out the things they did that they keep being in denial of.
So Liam lacks the independency to stand on his own feet and thus need love and support to be able to live.
OP has gained independency at young age or at least was pretty much forced to become independent and thus "don't" need love and support from his "family".
The parents lacks all sense of "independency" and thus needs OP's "love" and "support" in order to function as a "family" or else they will collapse entirely like a house of cards.
So OP in the end is a single parent to his 2 "children" Liam (brother) and (Father) as well his technically first "daughter" (mother).
I never though the day would come when I read that a parent (OP) was birthed by "his" children (father and mother), I always though the CHILD comes after the parents not the PARENTS comes after the child
another (your so independent ) and (sibling needs help more) story about the 5th I've read just today, have the AI vary it up a bit
It's surprising about this distinction in the house
Bla Bla Bla woe is me. the parents are right. you did not need the help. it is just as if one of you are sickly they would pay more attention to that child. your brother needed it more than you did.
Dont have kids or more than 1
@@WhiteVastNinjaWell they still have one child left. Maybe he’ll give them grandchildren-or not. OP seems to be happier without them and that’s all that matters.