see that’s what i’m saying. like her legal team keep emphasizing that no criminal or civil charges have been filed, but just because jack didn’t file them doesn’t mean that she didn’t literally assault him.
From a legal standpoint not going to the police is the best case scenario for a defense lawyer. Yes it absolutely could have still occurred but many attorneys use that as "proof" that it "wasn't that bad" which is sometimes true and sometimes not.
@@mrpeach2023 It is, but it’s all about objectivity. I find it a lot better to report stuff like this to the police because you can’t expect strangers we never met to trust us, especially in these day and age where there are sick people (especially celebrities/people associated with celebrities) out there who dare to fake SA allegations to tarnish someone else’s reputation.
She's in Hawaii,...she doesn't need to make money off this. Only white males using their "effeminate side" to gain the internet sympathy would be jealous enough to make shit up like this.
It's weird to me that 17 year olds outright say themselves "oh im only 17." It's too self aware. If you're 17 and doing dumb shit and then saying "i'm only 17 i do dumb shit" it feels like you shouldnt be doing dumb shit if youre aware that youre doing dumb shit? lol Its up to other people to point out your flaws when your young and then you learn from it. Sienna constantly pointing out that she's young just feels like an excuse that she just keeps jumping back to as a defense for the shit that she does.
@The Dark Overlord adults don't say "oh I'm only 40" to excuse themselves though lol. If you do something wrong, own it. Don't hide behind your age. Like I said, it's too self aware to use age as a defense for yourself. If you know it's wrong then don't do it. If you realise it's wrong after, then apologise and say "I did something dumb, I should know better, I won't do it again." Sienna has done non of that so her age is irrelevant, it doesn't make sense for her to keep bringing it up. "I did something wrong but I'm only 17 so it's okay. Other things that I do wrong, please just forgive me because I'm only 17." No I won't. You're aware it's wrong so your age is no excuse.
I'm also 17 and shes acting as if shes still a young teen, like were almost adults we have gone through so many experiences and been taught how much on how the world works so she is aware of what shes doing.
Is it just me or should we should be harsher on Sienna? Like no, even if she apologized adequately, she still shouldn’t be forgiven. Sexual assault is absolutely disgusting and horrific
yeah but thats how the world works....if a 16 year old boy has an affair with a 30 year old teacher people think the boy is cool and wish it would have happened to them if the genders are reversed people are disgusted. Its not right but its how people naturally react to these things. maybe because most men look at it and think "well id be fine if a hot girl wanted to do that to me" or something so dont get as emotional and a lot of women are used to being the ones saying yes or no and controlling when intimate moments happen. If a guy goes to his friends and says I was near passed out drunk and I think a girl had sex with me his friends would probably congratulate him, maybe even stopping him from complaining about it.
I totally agree. We need to show men that it's okay to speak up. I don't understand why the severity of the situation changes when the roles are reversed. A man would go to jail for this so why aren't we expecting the same of a woman
@@aquaplush7531 tbh if the roles were reversed, she'd get more supporters and people would be more ACTIVE to harass him!🙃 More than 90% of male perpetrators in sex crimes received some kind of support/compensation after their victims spoken up, let alone get away with what they did. Whilst the ratio of female victims is 1 in 6 _(as reported)_ , so that means lots of female victims didn't receive the treatment that they should have received, as you think we do. I get the point what you're _trying_ to make, but that's kinda dismissive to the reality that women are living in😬
I was raped and sexually assaulted repeatedly around the ages of 5-7. It was a time of my life that I still get extremely emotional speaking about and it happened so long ago. I was raped by my 20 year old step brother and sexually assaulted buy my father. My father was one of those people everyone liked, was charming, good looking, and seemed like a good person. Imagine a Ted Bundy serial killer type. I didn’t tell anyone that it was happening because the one time I did, they didn’t believe me because of who my abusers were. When I was finally able to escape to my moms, I told her everything. My mom was ready to murder them, but they used the exact same defenses as Sienna, the 20 year old saying he is only 20 so he’ll make mistakes and my father saying that I was asking for it. He said that I gave him signals that I wanted it, though I don’t know what the fuck he was talking about it. They tries to say I was lying and when people started to find out, I was met with a wave of criticism and people who didn’t believe me. They would say that my father and step brother were good men and would never do such a thing so what did I do to tempt them. Also if something did happen, why didn’t I come forward sooner, why wait so long? Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was scared of that exact reaction. I have seen a lot of people that claim Jack’s lying say the same things and it makes me beyond angry. Jack’s video was also very telling, you could see how difficult it was for him, but he was trying to hold it together. Siennas response just shows to me that she is a liar. The way she has reacted just solidified for me that she is a classic abuser that always has to be the victim Edit: Because people will not let up on this. I understand my situation is much different from Jack and Sienna’s since I was a child and the people who did what they did to me were adults, but my point was that it doesn’t matter your age or who your abusers are, they had be no right to violate you. I hate seeing abusers not take accountability for what they did and blaming the victim. It makes me sick
Wtf?? A 5-7 year old was TEMPTING??? If I heard someone say a CHILD was asking for it, I'd want to respond with: I guess you're asking for me to find a woodchipper to toss you in feet first. No, that's too quick. A meat grinder then. 🤬🤬🤬
@@HeidiWilde Yeah, apparently the butterfly dresses that I wore all the time were “too short” I don’t understand how anyone could have thought I would be asking for it because I was literally the most innocent child. I was scared of the hiccups and made flower crowns out of dandelions. But clearly I was asking to raped as a 5 year old cause that makes total sense
No matter the age people are, they should know what “no” and boundaries are. I have a little brother and constantly talk to him about why it’s not okay to do some stuff and why if he doesn’t have consent to hug or be touchy, he shouldn’t do it because he is going to make the people uncomfortable. I am also an 18 year old girl, but I know since I was little that if I do something to make someone uncomfortable that I need to be prepared to face the consequences and to stomp on my ego and go apologise for my action. If someone wants to find a reason or excuse, they are always going to find one, Btw love the action figurine, hope you are good and safe! Love you Dylan ❤️
Something has gone wrong with the world, and people have become disturbed to the extreme, if a child looking for a hug has to wait for permission and it would be some kind of assault if they just came up and gave one.
@@wyterabitt2149 That's not the point. You use hug as an example for little kids because they don't know about sex (although I think they should be educated on gr00ming) so they won't know what you mean by "touching someone without consent" is unless you explain that it's not all forms of physical touch
I understand you and @The Queen both have nothing but good intentions, but that poor kid is going to have so much confusion, hesitation, and lack of confidence when it comes to actual positive, consensual sexual experiences when he's older, because he's having uncertainty about whether what he's doing being right or wrong during physical interactions with the opposite sex drilled into his head at a time where it's confusing to him. If you trust your brother, maybe trust his instincts and moral sense of right and wrong in those situations and guide him when needed rather than assuming the worst of him and constantly projecting it onto his subconscious at a tender age, where things drastically shape the person he becomes for the rest of his life. As an older sibling you should teach your brother to never hit a woman, step up and protect women when he sees them being victimized, and to not be a creep himself, but don't fuck up his confidence as a young man or he will have immense issues with his self esteem, relationships, mental health, and overall quality of life for possibly the rest of his life. Let me ask one question- how attracted have you been to the stuttering, nervous, unsure men you've dated/ had sex with who were too hesitant to take control, lead the interaction, and act with confidence and self-assuredness? I bet you weren't crazy about them. Sexual polarity (masculine vs. feminine nature - doesn't mean man vs. woman. Homosexual relationships generally have a top/ bottom, a more masculine person and a more feminine person - it's more of an energy or way you carry yourself than your gender) is important to relationships and attraction, and that's becoming an ever growing problem for men these days. Weak men who second guess everything they do (especially in their relationships with women) are not happy, get taken advantage of, and disrespected. I don't want that to be your brother, and neither do you! Just remember building his confidence AND character/ morals is vital at that age. It's absolutely none of my business at the end of the day, so that's my 2 cents, youtube thesis paper over lol.
the only thing i disagree with in this is dylan saying she hasn’t done anything unforgivable. as someone who watched jacks video fully through and who wholeheartedly believes every word he said, sienna should be in jail. jack gave her all the chances in the world and she repeatedly continued to assault him
To forgive someone doesnt mean to withhold consequences. I obviously won’t speak on Jack’s behalf, it’s up to him if he forgives her or not, but him forgiving her would not mean “and therefore she now doesn’t have to deal with the consequences of what she did.” I know people who have forgiven murderers of their loved ones - but that doesn’t mean that person didn’t also have to go to prison and live up to what they did
The person that SA me I told him how I felt and he genuinely apologized. Of course it still hurt but you know how much weight is taken off of you to know that you not just being crazy. That yes this did happen and they see where they went wrong. That shit is…. A blessing cus ik not everyone gets that. She had the opportunity to actually learn something and actually move on a be better cus they were young and sometimes when you younger you don’t think guys have feels like that tbh but instead of actually apologizing you keep doubling down… that’s not a good sign for the person you’d be in the future in my opinion. I’m sorry IF I made you uncomfortable . He made a whole video basically crying saying you DID. No if needed
if she got the growth she says she has then she would take actual, full responsibility and give a real and unconditional apology. not try and wiggle (ig) out of what she did in like 3 different ways. she’s the big, mature 18yr girl old who got growth right? then she needs to accept the consequences
I find it odd that this came out all from Jack's side. An entire youtube apology-style blog about putting personal info about the situation to the internet to gain sympathy. Also how there is not an equal side to accusing him, seems fishy. They also found evidence of him having paid bots to incite hate against her. It's he-said she-said situation. She's not using this for internet clout and is going about her life. The fact that she is inexperienced and he knew that is why this is even being given the time of day. A white male coming after a Latina because he's mad that she fell for him? love and assault are 2 different things. He wants to benefit from this as much as possible. Sounds like since now people have gained sympathy for effeminate males, women are even more shit on and now that people want equality, women are treated the same when they don't have the same motives to men and men women do. Women wat power yadda yes but women are the ones who get drunk and coersed. Men can too, but what would a women's motive be for that? What does she gain? Nothing. That's why men do it more. People will feel bad for him because he expects ppl to view him that way, which is why everyone is playing right into his hands. He just wants money power and clout. I commend sienna for being strong and not giving the responses he wants. Sienna being in Hawaii is great. Because as a local they absolutely hate white ppl and especially white males. We call them "Haole". She also passes as local. Nobody cares about mainland stuff on tiktok. Most of the island isn't even aware of the app. She's living her best life and none of this matters. He wants to drag her because he can't go be himself.
3:31 ok but fetishization is also an issue, you don't have to be 100% overtly racist for it to be a problem. It is weird and gross sounding and yes, a little racist. it's what we like to call misogynoir. the intersection of racism and sexism, specifically for black women but it applies to other Women of color as well. it's pretty harmful too, cause sexism already treats woman as objects but then their race adds or subtracts from the value of said "object". BUT! the writer if the article is [REDACTED] cause is just like "Doi he mentioned a girl's race? must be problematic doi di doi doy doy" with no depth or critical thinking. I'll bet you she's a [REDACTED].
Is it just me that automatically likes Dylan’s videos before even watching them? 😂 I just love this guy too much 👌🏻 thanks for the amazing content you constantly give us💛✌🏻
I write comments saying that I love the video before even starting the video because I am dead confident I will love and enjoy it so.. I feel you my friend
I agree that the writer of the article about how I met your mother didn't bring up any good points, HOWEVER even though I love the show and both of these characters, Barney and Ted are actually both really problematic, especially Barney. You don't see it as much in the first and last episodes, but mid show Barney does a shit ton of creepy stuff to woman, to name a few: he consistently relies on at best very dubious consent, but probably more accurately date r*, and always talks about how his favorite type of girl are drunk, no friends, vulnerable, and ones who have been abused by their fathers or previous boyfriends. He even admits to having had dealings with sex traffickers. Ted is not as bad as bad as Barney obviously, but he's also pretty emotionally manipulative. Both of them also make a ton of transphobic and homophobic comments.
It’s been a while since I watched how I met your mother, but that comment reminds me so much of me rewatching friends and thinking how problematic Ross (especially but not exclusively ) is !
@@tiffanykim2773 Barney was meant to be like that, although not in way where the show genuinely thought it was wrong, it was more like a quirky trait. I don't think Ted was intentional though.
There's this popular theory that Ted was majorly exaggerating how awful Barney was to make himself look better by comparison (which is a very Ted kind of thing to do, so I buy it). He had already been proven to be an unreliable narrator at several points in the series so it checks out.
@@ActuallyAnanya yeah I've seen somebody talk about that on TikTok. I think it's a great theory and I could totally buy that in-universe, but I don't see the writers having intended that
Okay she's young but I'm the same age and I know that's its not okay to invade and ignore boundaries when someone sets them up and I know that touching a person in such a way is SA and wrong... there really is no excuse. As women we are exposed to things about SA early on. I know some carry this idea that you can't SA a guy because they are "stronger" which is just dumb and fuxking stupid. We are teens we know its wrong. She just doesn't want to take accountability. I was SA'd when i was a child and when you realize what truly happened to you there is so much guilt and shame, you think you are the one at fault... I just can't comprehend how she can think anything like that is okay.
yeah plus he made it clear in his video that he didnt want to use physical force against her because he thought they were friends and didn't want to hurt her. Honestly, that says a lot about his character. I think I would've punched her at that point
@@sabahk Exactly! Not to mention that if he were to use physical force I have no doubt she would take those instances and turn it against him claiming she's a victim.
@@olive-gy2rt Indeed we are at the developmental stage where we understand such things... her age is no excuse. Being a dumb and reckless teenager is completely disconnected from things such sa.
i don’t think being young is really an excuse nowadays. i’m 18 and i have been exposed to so many things through tiktok and i matured a lot through the internet. i understand she is young but her being young doesn’t excuse literal sexual assault. anyone in their right minds know not to make moves onto a unconscious person. i feel for jack because men are normally scared to speak up about their sexual assault experiences and i hope jack can heal. sienna hasn’t learned anything.
Dylan, as a mixed race woman who has had many a fetishising comment said about me, like I’m some future “unlocked achievement” in their sex life, I can say that the Barney fetishisation thing IS problematic. Something doesn’t have to be said negatively about a race to be problematic
Oh dear yes it is but what isn't these days sadly? But the show came out forever ago and we've established that it wouldn't survive today and it was just a show which showed real assholes which is what Barney was but still let it go
the "unlocked achievement" makes me feel SEEN! I am not mixed, however, I am black and went to a mainly all white school. The guys who wanted to sleep with me just because I was black, like they were gonna win an award was disgusting. I'll be 30 in July, and that s**t still makes my skin crawl
I feel like you think he thinks it really isn't a problem... it's not that it isn't a problem but more so that the character was written to be gross, with all his morality lines blurred... So that kind of behaviour is expected of that character and he's written specifically that way to provoke that emotion. Idk if I'm making sense, but I hope this helps you to get what he meant better. I'm also really sorry you have to experience that.
@@Rainberri That’s not what he said. Dylan gave an example of what he believed was actually problematic to imply that the initial statement isn’t problematic. He completely missed that fetishization is a problem, he said it was douchy but not an actual problem which is why people are speaking up. He quite literally said “Is it problematic? No!“ in the video. You’re making excuses for him.
The half-Asian thing can be problematic because fetishising Asian people is like a huuuge problem, nearly as big as racism I'm pretty sure, and leads to sexual assault and all that stuff
The article was a clear fail but the writer was right about one thing: HIMYM was definitely problematic at times I loved the show when I was younger but now I randomly remember stuff that happened on that show and I’m like “wait a minute..”
I'm actually rewatching it right now and thinking a lot about problematic scenes. I'm not trying to defend it, a lot of it is downright sexist and derogartory towards women. But for me it always existed in this kind of parallel universe - I can't describe it any better. Like this is so downright wrong and ridiculous that it seems very hard to compare it with reality, if you know what I mean. I'm not saying it's a good thing to build all your comedy on that very questionable foundation, it's just something I realized for myself.
@@fridaherbst719 I feel like if you acknowledge something as problematic, it shouldn't always mean you can't enjoy it. Like movies we grew up with didn't all age well, but when the world's a dumpster fire I don't feel like a bad person for having comfort content.
It's definitely interesting how people don't understand why stories have problematic elements. It's because it's interesting. It's because, in the realm of fiction, we can explore things that we wouldn't otherwise explore. The key is to do it in a way where it's, you know, interesting but also not glorifying stuff (like toxic relationships, for example), _especially_ in works that are aimed at a younger audience because, to be honest, a lot of those shows are made to be lessons. They'll beat the message in (while not talking down to the audience if the show is good). But there's a time when people graduate from stories teaching you a lesson to stories that just explore. The problem comes comes down to people not recognizing when a story's purpose. For one, I think it's because a lot of media is, frankly, not written by people who know what they're doing. Two, too many shows and the like talk down to the audience and treat them like they don't know any better, largely because of the first point. This is especially harmful in more adult shows because it doesn't allow the audience to think for themselves. Three, people aren't taught to comprehensively digest media anymore. Twitter is a huge example of that; either people can't grasp what is being said at all, or people reach and accuse the writer for something that wasn't said (i.e. someone making a post about pancakes, only pancakes, and somebody screams at them for hating waffles when the post had nothing to say on waffles). You mash all of these together, and you get a story that doesn't know how to tell a story that explores and/or teaches a lesson, and then an audience who doesn't know how to consume it. And in some cases, the people who don't know how to consume it get used to taking everything at face-value because they've been talked down to. So you get people who think this thing in a toxic relationship is good, actually, when in reality, it is most *definitely not.* In other cases, you get people who can't enjoy any story because they don't understand why people would want to explore interesting, though problematic, topics. So in short. I'm sick and tired. Lol
I read your whole post because it was a really interesting verbalisation of something I feel and agree with but have never put into words. Then I got to the last line of "so in short, I'm sick & tired" and yh, that sums it up pretty well lol Your comment really did explain my feelings perfectly though 👏👏
Ugh thank you, you put into words what I feel all the time. People going on and on about how cerain people in the main roles were toxic/stupid/hateful, but don't realise that they were meant to be that way for a reason. Also, people need to learn to distinguish fiction to reality. Just like shows about patriotism don't make people join the army unless the intention was always there, same way a show showing a shitty character doesn't make people be shitty in real life unless the intention was always there.
@@vaishnavisingh9244 THIS.Also them complaining about a main character having flaws like a realistic character should have,but then complain if the character didn’t have any flaws
here's the thing, HIMYM is "old". this doesn't excuse certain jokes, but I don't remember anything super problematic with this show. it's a product of it's time. some jokes don't land now, yeah, but it's not necessarily horrible same thing with friends. they have a lot of homophobic jokes. is it funny?? no. but take a look at the majority of the 90's show's, this is what they thought it was funny back then. a product of it's time. in 20 years there'll be people saying that today show's are problematic too.
I agree that the writer of the article didn't bring up very many good points, HOWEVER even though I love the show and both of these characters, Barney and Ted are actually both really problematic, especially Barney. You don't see it as much in the first and last episodes, but mid show Barney does a shit ton of creepy stuff to woman, to name a few: he consistently relies on at best very dubious consent, but probably more accurately date r*, and always talks about how his favorite type of girl are drunk, no friends, vulnerable, and ones who have been abused by their fathers or previous boyfriends. He even admits to having had dealings with sex traffickers. Ted is not as bad as bad as Barney obviously, but he's also pretty emotionally manipulative.
I have never watched the show, but I would not be at all surprised of seeing a bunch of things that are today problematic, that back then was somewhat “normal” to do/say. Not saying people shouldn’t bring it up as a way of saying something like “what not to do because it’s wrong”. But I bet there are some people trying to cancel the show without understanding the historical context of the show. Many people seem to forget that society’s way of thinking changes all the time and try to cancel things from almost 20 years ago. Not saying you were trying to do this, just had to vent because I’m annoyed at people trying cancel shows/movies from so long ago because today is seen as wrong without stopping to think about the time these things were made
I’d be interested to see to Gen Z having to answer for the present day in like 30 years. At 53, I probably won’t be around, but I’m sure there’ll things that the new generation will find incredibly problematic about shows & movies we’re watching right now. Even the ones we think are doing their best to not be problematic.
@@stupid4parx_ I totally get that. I think is very valid to point out this things and critic (is this word right?) this shows for it's problematic contents. and this things that you said seems like the types of things that should be on that article. I don't remember any of this, but If these were the examples, I would've taken it more seriously. because the jokes that the article point out, don't seem problematic, they're just unfunny. and it's also important to remember how humor chances with the decades. in the 40's all the funny jokes were about r*pe. in the 90's was homophobic jokes. yearly 2000's (and every decade before that) it was how women are crazy. HIMYM used a lot of that. it's all products of the time they were made in, and a lot of it is very much problematic
'Mixed signals' is never a valid justification for breaking boundaries. If ANY of the signals you get from someone indicate that they aren't interested, then proceed under the assumption that THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED. If you feel confused, then act like an adult and have a conversation to clarify where you stand, explain why you're confused and allow the other person a chance to explain the signals they were intentionally sending as opposed to the signals you were reading too far into.
Dylan I love you, and I assume you meant no harm, but about your Barney comment regarding race: it isnt only problematic when its like "these groups of people are bad". What he was doing was fetishization. BIPOC Fetishization is a huge issue. You should look into it!
I agree with you about the How I Met Your Mother stuff as far as what you've seen, however I'd say it is problematic later on. Barney and Ted are both really creepy, with Ted borderline stalking Robin, and Barney getting women drunk and lying to them to sleep with them. They're conquests to him, which is problematic. Later on Barney sleeps with Robin and Marshall says "Robin knows you had sex with her, right?" It's a joke on the show but the fact he felt the need to ask that says a lot.
Can we please have Dylan dissect TH-camrs' and other celebrities' shitty apologies to controversies? Because this makes me happy to see how stupid people are as called out because of Dylan.
12:10 When dylan talked about this part, it resonates so well with the usual I guess “Nice guy” effect, where people think they are the only one entitled to have a say in something when they help this someone… any yes that’s WHY “Nice Guys” finish lasts.
Even as a white woman who will never have to face it, I have seen how fetishization has affected my friends and poc in general. It’s a harmful practice that shouldn’t be normalized on TV or real life. Although the other points in that article were ridiculous, that one was not. Harmful stereotypes don’t always have to be negative.
It’s true that it’s a problem but the article was wrong for bringing it up in that context just to excuse her behavior and speak over a victim of sexual assault
I really appreciate your commentary Dylan. You put a great perspective on it. Just like a bit picky of a thing as an SA survivor. I wouldn’t say that anyone who crossed boundaries “didn’t do anything unforgivable”. That kind of downgrades what victims go through. Yeah, people do stupid shit when they’re young and I get what you were saying, but that wording made it seem like “eh she didn’t do that much so if she owns up to it whatever.” And that’s kind of unfair. I don’t know if that’s what you meant. I love your videos and you seem to really care about being sensitive to survivors. But being young is a reason for actions, not an excuse, and jack can still be hurt by it even if it wasn’t at the level of illegal SA cases.
One of my favorite videos of yours ever. Not so much about Sienna and Jack (I didn't know where they were, but I've known about the situation) but your points of view on taking responsibility, ownership, and growing from it. As well as the fact how Sienna "apologized" in her article. Saying "if" in any apology is never a real apology, especially when you know how the other person feels. That's the same with any situation where someone is wrong and don't actually own up to their mistakes. For the person that is hurt too, it isn't fair and it makes it harder for them heal and move on from situations too. I feel like people most of the time don't apologize because they can't admit to themselves that they are wrong or that they've done wrong and they don't grow from that. Another thing is being the bigger person.I understand that it is hard to be the bigger person, but I've always tried to be the bigger person because that is just the right thing to do and I've never understand why other can't at least try to do the same. It just seems so much more simple to own what you did, apologize and mean it and move on. I love how you addressed all these topics and point of views. More so because you brought up a lot of things I don't think that get talked about on TH-cam enough about taking ownership and growing. A lot of these things I've always known and just nice to see someone talk about them. One of the things I love about your content is your perspective and understanding about topics rather if is movies, shows, or ticktock stars. Always great to watch and listen.
Thank you for covering this controversy Dylan. I really wish you would have focused more on Jack's video and not only Sienna's side of the story. Please watch Psychology in Seattle's analysis of his video to better understand the importance and gravity of that video in the context of this whole story.
i absolutely love your content! how you can talk about serious topics and have very well formed arguments/ideas and at the same time NEVER fail to make me laugh ❤️ thanks for making videos
I’m younger than her and I know damn well not to do what she did. Disgusting. Kids have common sense too. Kids aren’t experienced but we still have a sense of what’s right or wrong.
While I do love himym, Barney and Ted are objectively problematic characters the thing is they are a product of their time but Ted is the embodiment of the nice guy trope and Barney while a lot what he does is played up for jokes he treats women pretty horrible and it’s even suggested he’s done borderline illegal things to women so kinda bad but nonetheless it’s a good show.
There's a pretty popular theory among fans that since Ted is a proven unreliable narrator, he really exaggerated the extent of Barney's behaviour when he was telling the story to his kids, to make himself look better in comparison. Which tbh is a very Ted thing to do, so I buy it.
Thank you for not naming the act, that shows sensibility for the victims. You make a lot of valid points, I think these kind of videos are very important and bring some nuance to these stories. Thanks again 💜
can i just say... i like this video a lot. it's nice to see dylan being serious and mature with a good moral take. i feel like it would be really nice to talk to him or have him listen to you - like a good friend who's fun and comfortable to be with. i've been tired because of schoolwork, and this video was just a nice way to unwind and end the day. thanks, dylan! hope we boogies can have an opportunity to meet you one day! toodles~
It's refreshing to see how you yourself can understand self reflection and understanding what a true apology is😌, most people can't, it's a beautiful trait to have.❤
Since I was 13 I've understood what SA is and the importance of keeping boundaries and respecting others. I'm only a year older than her, she has no excuse. It makes me feel so upset that she acts like she doesn't know what she's doing and shouldn't be held responsible for her actions. Her response to all the accusations is even more telling. Just the worst.
Honestly this shouldn't even be a discussion. Sienna should face the real consequences for her actions. Her attempt at manipulation and then slander Jack is pathetic. Someone who's clearly grasping at straws cuz they thought nobody would ever care about this. Especially cuz she was OnLy JuSt BaReLy 18 aT tHe TiMe.
The age cop-out is so worn out. I knew at 17 (and much younger, for that matter) that SA & SH are incredibly wrong. “I’m too young to know better” is far too often the excuse from influencers when they mess up, and it’s just BS. You don’t magically learn how to refrain from committing a crime at 18
I’m younger than Sienna at 17 and even I know that the best way to move forward is to accept you did wrong and not deflect that blame but to accept it and apologize. Jack seems like a pretty great guy who really didn’t want all of this to blow up as it did and even at the end he only asked for her to take accountability for the hurt she has caused. Age is not an excuse, if you’ve done wrong, you’ve done wrong no matter how you meant it. Which is why apologies exist. If you are truly sorry and reflect on your actions, then it can help you be redeemable.
I've been in the situation where another person, even after being told no multiple times, grasps on to any kind of kindness as if it were "flirting". It's terrible, and in some cases terrifying, and they will still deny they have done anything wrong, because in their minds they truly haven't done anything wrong because they took any sort of sign from the other person as being open to some sort of relationship other than friendship. In reality, if someone says no it really means no and people need to understand this and move on, but they don't, because they're blinded by their own narcissism. No really does mean no and if that boy did express that in any way she is in the wrong even if she can't see it.
I've been watching countless videos of the sienna and Jack situation and just wanted to watch yours to boost it, but I actually loved your take on it. No one's really pointed out the fact that she keeps blaming the fact that she didn't know better because she's young EVERYTIME she gets in trouble. It's always been rubbing me the wrong way, and no one has covered it as well as you from what I've seen. This is a great video👍👍
dylan you are so right about how using the "im young" excuse requires a certain level of self-awareness and developed brain. definitely. i never really thought of it that way but it is so true! only looking back on my teenage years did i have that forgiveness for my cringy self and clarity regarding my past thoughts and actions
The age thing really bothers me. I was abused for 7 years by a boy around 1.5-2yrs older than me, from ages 7-14. Even though the sexual stuff didn't happened until later, he was always actively abusive. The amount of times I've had people say "oh he was that young? It couldn't have been that bad then, maybe you just remember is worse than it was" infuriates me. It makes me hardly able to share with people because I fear that reaction, and I fear that I'll start to believe it too. I don't care how young someone is. What's wrong is wrong, and something that major doesn't really happen without the perpetrator being at least somewhat aware of it being bad.
16:34 Okay Im commenting as I watch: DYLAN ! Please do not downplay the accusations against Sienna Mae! It involves SA-ing someone incapacitated, breaking into his house to once again SA him while he was asleep, and more. How is that not "crazy unforgiveable?" You're tearing me apart -Lisa- Dylan 😞
I’m 17 and if I learned that I broke someone’s boundaries like that and made them uncomfortable, even accidentally, I would feel absolutely terrible. Her age is just not a good excuse. It’s not that hard to respect other people and being young does not excuse her.
DYLAN! I was messed over by a friend and a fwb recently and you took the words right out of my mouth! They both wouldn't take responsibility but would rather gaslight me and make it seem like they weren't at fault! But I had set my boundaries very clearly and they both acknowledge it before but seemed to forget all about it after the fact! They tried to make me seem irrational!
it doesn't matter if the character says that they find "half-asian" or Lebanese people attractive. It's blatant fetishization. That's why it's so problematic. That was a bad take, Dylan.
Knew absolutely nothing about the whole tik tok situation seeing as I don't have tik tok and I'm not into the creators whatsoever. Following you for as long as I have, I care about what you have to say and I can whole heartily agree with all that you did say. You're an amazing person Dylan, thank you for not being afraid to speak your mind 💜
why was her "apology" so damn long lol?? like she literally just only needed a paragraph to say what was needed of her lol. i couldn't believe how much she wrote and ended up saying so little. that's how you know she didn't learn and isn't taking accountability.
It's the fact that she uses the "I'm young" and "I'm only seventeen!" excuse, if you can even call it that. Kids as early as 6-7 can be thought to have personal boundaries and to not do this shit, they don't do thing intentionally but react. They're literal babies. But by 17 you're old enough to tell when someone is uncomfortable unless you have a condition that affects how you perceive social cues. When I was 17, hell when everyone I know was 17, we knew that sort of shit was wrong. Sienna is in the public sphere and has has way more social interaction than I had when I was her age, so there is no way she wouldn't know that sort of thing was wrong. Misinterpreting things one time could maybe be forgiven if she simply misread his body language and words and acted on what she assumed was mutual interest. But he told her no multiple times in multiple situations and she DIDN'T CARE. That is the difference and a person who disregard that sort of boundary shouldn't be forgiven because she is fully well going to do it again regardless. She didn't feel remorse or realise she was wrong and needed to stop, she saw herself as a victim and will do it again in the future. She's upset she got caught, called out with evidence and that Jack had the strength to speak out. He deserves so much better and she needs to have her platform taken off her.
So we’re not gonna talk about how it truly IS NOT okay for someone to say that they “had a thing for half-Asian girls” and that they “now have a new favorite…Lebanese girls.” ? You don’t have to talk shit about a race/ethnicity of people for it to be wrong. Fetishizing people of a race/ ethnicity is ALSO wrong. Simply two different sides of the same coin.
Thanks for being considerate and calling it sa instead of the whole word, it's really comforting to know that the TH-camrs you watch and like are thoughtful and care about important topics.
Dylan, I am genuinely impressed with your commentary on this. You never use language to put down the survivor, you intelligently consider and talk about the things that Sienna writes in the article and why they are inappropriate responses, and you don't exhibit toxic masculinity talking about a female abuse and male survivor. We love to see it. Great video!
I know that this was a long time ago but she was 17 at the time. She was old enough to know right from wrong, at that age she was a senior in highschool. She means to tell me that she didn't learn the importance of consent? She's young but she's certainly not dumb, she knew exactly what she was doing and it's very obvious. As a teen myself I understand the value of consent and I am way younger than her. It's taught by parents and it's taught in school, please just learn to take no as an answer
Love your videos Dylan but I do disagree on some points. In regards to the HIMYM article, fetishization IS problematic, I understand that’s how the character is meant to be written but dismissing the comment as simply “douchy” is wrong. In the Sienna Mae portion you mention that what she did “wasn’t unforgivable” but I disagree. He was sexually assaulted, it wasn’t merely an issue of overstepping boundaries. It severely impacted his life and his future. Hope you understand where I’m coming from, I don’t want this to be misconstrued as a hate comment of any sort.
thing is, what he's doing is fetishizing groups of people. which is dehumanizing and therefore actually is problematic. whether it is fetishizing or calling a group disgusting, it is viewing them as different and not the regular humans they are.
Hey Dylan, i think you did a really good job explaining and breaking down the responses in the Sienna Mae and Jack Weight case. I really appreciated your point of view
i think what people fail to realize is like,,, even if sienna and jack WERE dating like he flirted with her whatever... that still is not consent to be touched while you're unconsciousness. "Mixed signals" don't apply to consent. If someone can't say yes or no,, you don't get to make that decision for them just because you guys have a special/flirty relationship otherwise. Sienna disgusts me so much. I hate her.
this is a clear case of abuser trying to gaslight their way out of their wrongdoings. He repeatedly told her he didn"t see her as anything more than a friend and she REPEATEDLY IGNORED whatever he said trying to "win" him over. That is just gross. Although she is young, she cannot use her age as an excuse considering all the talks being publicly had about consent, SA, toxic behaviors and red flags. He looked visibly distraught when reminiscing about all the things she did to him and she just looks super aggressive and full of contempt. If someone accused you of sexually assaulting them, you wouldn't deflect, you would just say "I didn't do that!!" but all she does is trying to use any excuse on top of blatantly lying about him giving her "mixed signals". She's despicable and isn't able to apologize like a person. She needs to admit what she has done is she hopes to do any growing at all.
22:18 "Just because you don't go to the police about something, doesn't mean it didn't happen" PREACH
see that’s what i’m saying. like her legal team keep emphasizing that no criminal or civil charges have been filed, but just because jack didn’t file them doesn’t mean that she didn’t literally assault him.
From a legal standpoint not going to the police is the best case scenario for a defense lawyer. Yes it absolutely could have still occurred but many attorneys use that as "proof" that it "wasn't that bad" which is sometimes true and sometimes not.
That made me feel so safe and validated
@@rosyreverie That in itself is fucked up.
@@mrpeach2023 It is, but it’s all about objectivity. I find it a lot better to report stuff like this to the police because you can’t expect strangers we never met to trust us, especially in these day and age where there are sick people (especially celebrities/people associated with celebrities) out there who dare to fake SA allegations to tarnish someone else’s reputation.
Dylan explained the whole "conflict sells" thing so well.
IKR! It made so much sense.
She's in Hawaii,...she doesn't need to make money off this. Only white males using their "effeminate side" to gain the internet sympathy would be jealous enough to make shit up like this.
@@misha5570 what are u talking abt?
Right?!? Make sense
Literally all public figures do this especially celebrities
It's weird to me that 17 year olds outright say themselves "oh im only 17." It's too self aware. If you're 17 and doing dumb shit and then saying "i'm only 17 i do dumb shit" it feels like you shouldnt be doing dumb shit if youre aware that youre doing dumb shit? lol
Its up to other people to point out your flaws when your young and then you learn from it. Sienna constantly pointing out that she's young just feels like an excuse that she just keeps jumping back to as a defense for the shit that she does.
EXACTLYY
Exactly my thoughts, her lawyers definitely told her to say that
I'm pretty sure most teens are aware of what SA is too. I couldn't imagine doing that at 17.
seriously, im 17 and even i know how to respect people's basic boundaries lol (or if i fail to do so, i apologize and stop doing it)
@The Dark Overlord adults don't say "oh I'm only 40" to excuse themselves though lol. If you do something wrong, own it. Don't hide behind your age. Like I said, it's too self aware to use age as a defense for yourself. If you know it's wrong then don't do it. If you realise it's wrong after, then apologise and say "I did something dumb, I should know better, I won't do it again." Sienna has done non of that so her age is irrelevant, it doesn't make sense for her to keep bringing it up.
"I did something wrong but I'm only 17 so it's okay. Other things that I do wrong, please just forgive me because I'm only 17." No I won't. You're aware it's wrong so your age is no excuse.
“You don’t need to be an ally, you just need to not be an abuser”. That was SO true. She is gross.
i'm a 17 year old girl, and i understand boundaries and consent and how to take no as an answer. sienna has no excuse
exactly same
I'm also 17 and shes acting as if shes still a young teen, like were almost adults we have gone through so many experiences and been taught how much on how the world works so she is aware of what shes doing.
@@strangerscience3659 me too like no bab we are adults ish
I’m 15 and I understand 😂
I am 13 (almost 14) and get no means no
Is it just me or should we should be harsher on Sienna? Like no, even if she apologized adequately, she still shouldn’t be forgiven. Sexual assault is absolutely disgusting and horrific
Absolutely. If the roles were reversed in that situation, what do you think would’ve happened?
Double standards.
@sewer~rat But she’s a woman so it’s automatically okay!
Man I hate the internet
yeah but thats how the world works....if a 16 year old boy has an affair with a 30 year old teacher people think the boy is cool and wish it would have happened to them if the genders are reversed people are disgusted.
Its not right but its how people naturally react to these things. maybe because most men look at it and think "well id be fine if a hot girl wanted to do that to me" or something so dont get as emotional and a lot of women are used to being the ones saying yes or no and controlling when intimate moments happen.
If a guy goes to his friends and says I was near passed out drunk and I think a girl had sex with me his friends would probably congratulate him, maybe even stopping him from complaining about it.
I totally agree. We need to show men that it's okay to speak up. I don't understand why the severity of the situation changes when the roles are reversed. A man would go to jail for this so why aren't we expecting the same of a woman
@@aquaplush7531 tbh if the roles were reversed, she'd get more supporters and people would be more ACTIVE to harass him!🙃
More than 90% of male perpetrators in sex crimes received some kind of support/compensation after their victims spoken up, let alone get away with what they did. Whilst the ratio of female victims is 1 in 6 _(as reported)_ , so that means lots of female victims didn't receive the treatment that they should have received, as you think we do.
I get the point what you're _trying_ to make, but that's kinda dismissive to the reality that women are living in😬
I was raped and sexually assaulted repeatedly around the ages of 5-7. It was a time of my life that I still get extremely emotional speaking about and it happened so long ago. I was raped by my 20 year old step brother and sexually assaulted buy my father. My father was one of those people everyone liked, was charming, good looking, and seemed like a good person. Imagine a Ted Bundy serial killer type. I didn’t tell anyone that it was happening because the one time I did, they didn’t believe me because of who my abusers were. When I was finally able to escape to my moms, I told her everything. My mom was ready to murder them, but they used the exact same defenses as Sienna, the 20 year old saying he is only 20 so he’ll make mistakes and my father saying that I was asking for it. He said that I gave him signals that I wanted it, though I don’t know what the fuck he was talking about it. They tries to say I was lying and when people started to find out, I was met with a wave of criticism and people who didn’t believe me. They would say that my father and step brother were good men and would never do such a thing so what did I do to tempt them. Also if something did happen, why didn’t I come forward sooner, why wait so long? Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was scared of that exact reaction. I have seen a lot of people that claim Jack’s lying say the same things and it makes me beyond angry. Jack’s video was also very telling, you could see how difficult it was for him, but he was trying to hold it together. Siennas response just shows to me that she is a liar. The way she has reacted just solidified for me that she is a classic abuser that always has to be the victim
Edit: Because people will not let up on this. I understand my situation is much different from Jack and Sienna’s since I was a child and the people who did what they did to me were adults, but my point was that it doesn’t matter your age or who your abusers are, they had be no right to violate you. I hate seeing abusers not take accountability for what they did and blaming the victim. It makes me sick
I'm so sorry they did those horrific things to you.
I am so sorry that happened to you! I hope that some day you are able to heal from that pain, NO ONE deserves that kind of treatment.
Wtf?? A 5-7 year old was TEMPTING??? If I heard someone say a CHILD was asking for it, I'd want to respond with: I guess you're asking for me to find a woodchipper to toss you in feet first. No, that's too quick. A meat grinder then. 🤬🤬🤬
@@HeidiWilde Yeah, apparently the butterfly dresses that I wore all the time were “too short” I don’t understand how anyone could have thought I would be asking for it because I was literally the most innocent child. I was scared of the hiccups and made flower crowns out of dandelions. But clearly I was asking to raped as a 5 year old cause that makes total sense
I hope you are okay now :)!
No matter the age people are, they should know what “no” and boundaries are. I have a little brother and constantly talk to him about why it’s not okay to do some stuff and why if he doesn’t have consent to hug or be touchy, he shouldn’t do it because he is going to make the people uncomfortable.
I am also an 18 year old girl, but I know since I was little that if I do something to make someone uncomfortable that I need to be prepared to face the consequences and to stomp on my ego and go apologise for my action.
If someone wants to find a reason or excuse, they are always going to find one,
Btw love the action figurine, hope you are good and safe! Love you Dylan ❤️
Exactly what I was going to say! Children and even pets can understand the word "no", so can a 17-year-old girl.
Something has gone wrong with the world, and people have become disturbed to the extreme, if a child looking for a hug has to wait for permission and it would be some kind of assault if they just came up and gave one.
@@wyterabitt2149 That's not the point. You use hug as an example for little kids because they don't know about sex (although I think they should be educated on gr00ming) so they won't know what you mean by "touching someone without consent" is unless you explain that it's not all forms of physical touch
I understand you and @The Queen both have nothing but good intentions, but that poor kid is going to have so much confusion, hesitation, and lack of confidence when it comes to actual positive, consensual sexual experiences when he's older, because he's having uncertainty about whether what he's doing being right or wrong during physical interactions with the opposite sex drilled into his head at a time where it's confusing to him. If you trust your brother, maybe trust his instincts and moral sense of right and wrong in those situations and guide him when needed rather than assuming the worst of him and constantly projecting it onto his subconscious at a tender age, where things drastically shape the person he becomes for the rest of his life. As an older sibling you should teach your brother to never hit a woman, step up and protect women when he sees them being victimized, and to not be a creep himself, but don't fuck up his confidence as a young man or he will have immense issues with his self esteem, relationships, mental health, and overall quality of life for possibly the rest of his life.
Let me ask one question- how attracted have you been to the stuttering, nervous, unsure men you've dated/ had sex with who were too hesitant to take control, lead the interaction, and act with confidence and self-assuredness? I bet you weren't crazy about them. Sexual polarity (masculine vs. feminine nature - doesn't mean man vs. woman. Homosexual relationships generally have a top/ bottom, a more masculine person and a more feminine person - it's more of an energy or way you carry yourself than your gender) is important to relationships and attraction, and that's becoming an ever growing problem for men these days. Weak men who second guess everything they do (especially in their relationships with women) are not happy, get taken advantage of, and disrespected. I don't want that to be your brother, and neither do you! Just remember building his confidence AND character/ morals is vital at that age. It's absolutely none of my business at the end of the day, so that's my 2 cents, youtube thesis paper over lol.
@@Chris-pk6ot you’re assuming a lot
You don’t need to be an ally, just don’t be an abuser 👏👏
TWO Dylan videos in one day?? I'm not complaining
This is the Ooga Booga channel, who is this Dylan person you speak of?
today is a great day to be a Troublemaker
@@c.harlotte this is the second channel of DylanIsInTrouble
@@nswang babes they know...
Same 🤟
I read it and it was CLEAR that she just avoids accountability
Seeing Dylan so excited about his 'action' figure is incredibly heartwarming
the only thing i disagree with in this is dylan saying she hasn’t done anything unforgivable. as someone who watched jacks video fully through and who wholeheartedly believes every word he said, sienna should be in jail. jack gave her all the chances in the world and she repeatedly continued to assault him
To forgive someone doesnt mean to withhold consequences. I obviously won’t speak on Jack’s behalf, it’s up to him if he forgives her or not, but him forgiving her would not mean “and therefore she now doesn’t have to deal with the consequences of what she did.” I know people who have forgiven murderers of their loved ones - but that doesn’t mean that person didn’t also have to go to prison and live up to what they did
i think he means in the court of public opinion, like lots of internet stars have kept their following after doing similar stuff
@@kphoria1009 yeah
The person that SA me I told him how I felt and he genuinely apologized. Of course it still hurt but you know how much weight is taken off of you to know that you not just being crazy. That yes this did happen and they see where they went wrong. That shit is…. A blessing cus ik not everyone gets that. She had the opportunity to actually learn something and actually move on a be better cus they were young and sometimes when you younger you don’t think guys have feels like that tbh but instead of actually apologizing you keep doubling down… that’s not a good sign for the person you’d be in the future in my opinion. I’m sorry IF I made you uncomfortable . He made a whole video basically crying saying you DID. No if needed
here after colleens “apology” video and she somehow topped this one off 💀
if she got the growth she says she has then she would take actual, full responsibility and give a real and unconditional apology. not try and wiggle (ig) out of what she did in like 3 different ways. she’s the big, mature 18yr girl old who got growth right? then she needs to accept the consequences
i often get tired of seeing people call out stuff as problematic when it’s not but dylan’s right. that kinda stuff sells
I find it odd that this came out all from Jack's side. An entire youtube apology-style blog about putting personal info about the situation to the internet to gain sympathy. Also how there is not an equal side to accusing him, seems fishy. They also found evidence of him having paid bots to incite hate against her. It's he-said she-said situation. She's not using this for internet clout and is going about her life. The fact that she is inexperienced and he knew that is why this is even being given the time of day. A white male coming after a Latina because he's mad that she fell for him? love and assault are 2 different things. He wants to benefit from this as much as possible. Sounds like since now people have gained sympathy for effeminate males, women are even more shit on and now that people want equality, women are treated the same when they don't have the same motives to men and men women do. Women wat power yadda yes but women are the ones who get drunk and coersed. Men can too, but what would a women's motive be for that? What does she gain? Nothing. That's why men do it more. People will feel bad for him because he expects ppl to view him that way, which is why everyone is playing right into his hands. He just wants money power and clout. I commend sienna for being strong and not giving the responses he wants.
Sienna being in Hawaii is great. Because as a local they absolutely hate white ppl and especially white males. We call them "Haole". She also passes as local. Nobody cares about mainland stuff on tiktok. Most of the island isn't even aware of the app. She's living her best life and none of this matters. He wants to drag her because he can't go be himself.
@@misha5570 are you really trying to defend sienna
@@misha5570 As a feminist, no. This is a bizarre take. Believe the victims, especially when it’s obvious that Sienna is guilty
@@misha5570 Wow you just admitted to being a racist and a SA defender. Nice job
two dylan videos in one day. i cannot handle this.
Bet we're not getting anything now for 2 months 😭
@@tana3877 yup
@@tana3877 really though
3:31 ok but fetishization is also an issue, you don't have to be 100% overtly racist for it to be a problem. It is weird and gross sounding and yes, a little racist. it's what we like to call misogynoir. the intersection of racism and sexism, specifically for black women but it applies to other Women of color as well. it's pretty harmful too, cause sexism already treats woman as objects but then their race adds or subtracts from the value of said "object". BUT! the writer if the article is [REDACTED] cause is just like "Doi he mentioned a girl's race? must be problematic doi di doi doy doy" with no depth or critical thinking. I'll bet you she's a [REDACTED].
Is it just me that automatically likes Dylan’s videos before even watching them? 😂 I just love this guy too much 👌🏻 thanks for the amazing content you constantly give us💛✌🏻
I write comments saying that I love the video before even starting the video because I am dead confident I will love and enjoy it so.. I feel you my friend
Wholeheartedly agreed, because Dylan deserves the like, especially after *TWO* uploads today! 🙏🏼
The first thing I do is hit the like button, usually before the video even starts playing..
Same here 😂
he's never made a bad video ever
I agree that the writer of the article about how I met your mother didn't bring up any good points, HOWEVER even though I love the show and both of these characters, Barney and Ted are actually both really problematic, especially Barney. You don't see it as much in the first and last episodes, but mid show Barney does a shit ton of creepy stuff to woman, to name a few: he consistently relies on at best very dubious consent, but probably more accurately date r*, and always talks about how his favorite type of girl are drunk, no friends, vulnerable, and ones who have been abused by their fathers or previous boyfriends. He even admits to having had dealings with sex traffickers. Ted is not as bad as bad as Barney obviously, but he's also pretty emotionally manipulative. Both of them also make a ton of transphobic and homophobic comments.
They were meant to be that way tho who wants a show were all the characters are fake.......I mean good?
It’s been a while since I watched how I met your mother, but that comment reminds me so much of me rewatching friends and thinking how problematic Ross (especially but not exclusively ) is !
@@tiffanykim2773 Barney was meant to be like that, although not in way where the show genuinely thought it was wrong, it was more like a quirky trait. I don't think Ted was intentional though.
There's this popular theory that Ted was majorly exaggerating how awful Barney was to make himself look better by comparison (which is a very Ted kind of thing to do, so I buy it). He had already been proven to be an unreliable narrator at several points in the series so it checks out.
@@ActuallyAnanya yeah I've seen somebody talk about that on TikTok. I think it's a great theory and I could totally buy that in-universe, but I don't see the writers having intended that
Okay she's young but I'm the same age and I know that's its not okay to invade and ignore boundaries when someone sets them up and I know that touching a person in such a way is SA and wrong... there really is no excuse. As women we are exposed to things about SA early on. I know some carry this idea that you can't SA a guy because they are "stronger" which is just dumb and fuxking stupid. We are teens we know its wrong. She just doesn't want to take accountability. I was SA'd when i was a child and when you realize what truly happened to you there is so much guilt and shame, you think you are the one at fault... I just can't comprehend how she can think anything like that is okay.
yeah plus he made it clear in his video that he didnt want to use physical force against her because he thought they were friends and didn't want to hurt her. Honestly, that says a lot about his character. I think I would've punched her at that point
@@sabahk Exactly! Not to mention that if he were to use physical force I have no doubt she would take those instances and turn it against him claiming she's a victim.
exactly. i don’t know why she decided to go for the “i’m only 17” path. i’m 17 too, we aren’t 10 year olds with no sense of boundaries
@@olive-gy2rt Indeed we are at the developmental stage where we understand such things... her age is no excuse. Being a dumb and reckless teenager is completely disconnected from things such sa.
@@loveyhope yeah it’s so stupid to use that as a pathway for sympathy as if there aren’t other 17 year olds who can see through the hullshit
take a shot every time sienna mentions her age
We're gonna die😂😂
*dies of alcohol poisoning*
i blacked out
i don’t think being young is really an excuse nowadays. i’m 18 and i have been exposed to so many things through tiktok and i matured a lot through the internet. i understand she is young but her being young doesn’t excuse literal sexual assault. anyone in their right minds know not to make moves onto a unconscious person. i feel for jack because men are normally scared to speak up about their sexual assault experiences and i hope jack can heal. sienna hasn’t learned anything.
Dylan, as a mixed race woman who has had many a fetishising comment said about me, like I’m some future “unlocked achievement” in their sex life, I can say that the Barney fetishisation thing IS problematic. Something doesn’t have to be said negatively about a race to be problematic
Oh dear yes it is but what isn't these days sadly? But the show came out forever ago and we've established that it wouldn't survive today and it was just a show which showed real assholes which is what Barney was but still let it go
the "unlocked achievement" makes me feel SEEN! I am not mixed, however, I am black and went to a mainly all white school. The guys who wanted to sleep with me just because I was black, like they were gonna win an award was disgusting. I'll be 30 in July, and that s**t still makes my skin crawl
I feel like you think he thinks it really isn't a problem... it's not that it isn't a problem but more so that the character was written to be gross, with all his morality lines blurred... So that kind of behaviour is expected of that character and he's written specifically that way to provoke that emotion. Idk if I'm making sense, but I hope this helps you to get what he meant better. I'm also really sorry you have to experience that.
@@Rainberri That’s not what he said. Dylan gave an example of what he believed was actually problematic to imply that the initial statement isn’t problematic. He completely missed that fetishization is a problem, he said it was douchy but not an actual problem which is why people are speaking up. He quite literally said “Is it problematic? No!“ in the video. You’re making excuses for him.
Thank you for this 👏🏾
Every once in a while, it’s nice to be reminded how incredible Dylan is
My thoughts exactly!
The half-Asian thing can be problematic because fetishising Asian people is like a huuuge problem, nearly as big as racism I'm pretty sure, and leads to sexual assault and all that stuff
this! i feel like he cant really defend the show considering he didn't really watch it. it was VERY problematic
you’re videos are always the best part of my day
The article was a clear fail but the writer was right about one thing: HIMYM was definitely problematic at times
I loved the show when I was younger but now I randomly remember stuff that happened on that show and I’m like “wait a minute..”
Sure but this article was only talking about the pilot episode. A lot of points they mentioned were kinda not toxic enough to write an article about.
I'm actually rewatching it right now and thinking a lot about problematic scenes. I'm not trying to defend it, a lot of it is downright sexist and derogartory towards women. But for me it always existed in this kind of parallel universe - I can't describe it any better. Like this is so downright wrong and ridiculous that it seems very hard to compare it with reality, if you know what I mean.
I'm not saying it's a good thing to build all your comedy on that very questionable foundation, it's just something I realized for myself.
Yes absolutely. But to point out barney being a problem would be like pointing out barney is purple
@@fridaherbst719 I feel like if you acknowledge something as problematic, it shouldn't always mean you can't enjoy it. Like movies we grew up with didn't all age well, but when the world's a dumpster fire I don't feel like a bad person for having comfort content.
It's definitely interesting how people don't understand why stories have problematic elements. It's because it's interesting. It's because, in the realm of fiction, we can explore things that we wouldn't otherwise explore. The key is to do it in a way where it's, you know, interesting but also not glorifying stuff (like toxic relationships, for example), _especially_ in works that are aimed at a younger audience because, to be honest, a lot of those shows are made to be lessons. They'll beat the message in (while not talking down to the audience if the show is good). But there's a time when people graduate from stories teaching you a lesson to stories that just explore.
The problem comes comes down to people not recognizing when a story's purpose. For one, I think it's because a lot of media is, frankly, not written by people who know what they're doing. Two, too many shows and the like talk down to the audience and treat them like they don't know any better, largely because of the first point. This is especially harmful in more adult shows because it doesn't allow the audience to think for themselves. Three, people aren't taught to comprehensively digest media anymore. Twitter is a huge example of that; either people can't grasp what is being said at all, or people reach and accuse the writer for something that wasn't said (i.e. someone making a post about pancakes, only pancakes, and somebody screams at them for hating waffles when the post had nothing to say on waffles). You mash all of these together, and you get a story that doesn't know how to tell a story that explores and/or teaches a lesson, and then an audience who doesn't know how to consume it.
And in some cases, the people who don't know how to consume it get used to taking everything at face-value because they've been talked down to. So you get people who think this thing in a toxic relationship is good, actually, when in reality, it is most *definitely not.* In other cases, you get people who can't enjoy any story because they don't understand why people would want to explore interesting, though problematic, topics.
So in short. I'm sick and tired. Lol
I read your whole post because it was a really interesting verbalisation of something I feel and agree with but have never put into words. Then I got to the last line of "so in short, I'm sick & tired" and yh, that sums it up pretty well lol
Your comment really did explain my feelings perfectly though 👏👏
Ugh thank you, you put into words what I feel all the time. People going on and on about how cerain people in the main roles were toxic/stupid/hateful, but don't realise that they were meant to be that way for a reason.
Also, people need to learn to distinguish fiction to reality. Just like shows about patriotism don't make people join the army unless the intention was always there, same way a show showing a shitty character doesn't make people be shitty in real life unless the intention was always there.
@@vaishnavisingh9244 THIS.Also them complaining about a main character having flaws like a realistic character should have,but then complain if the character didn’t have any flaws
here's the thing, HIMYM is "old". this doesn't excuse certain jokes, but I don't remember anything super problematic with this show. it's a product of it's time. some jokes don't land now, yeah, but it's not necessarily horrible
same thing with friends. they have a lot of homophobic jokes. is it funny?? no. but take a look at the majority of the 90's show's, this is what they thought it was funny back then. a product of it's time.
in 20 years there'll be people saying that today show's are problematic too.
I agree that the writer of the article didn't bring up very many good points, HOWEVER even though I love the show and both of these characters, Barney and Ted are actually both really problematic, especially Barney. You don't see it as much in the first and last episodes, but mid show Barney does a shit ton of creepy stuff to woman, to name a few: he consistently relies on at best very dubious consent, but probably more accurately date r*, and always talks about how his favorite type of girl are drunk, no friends, vulnerable, and ones who have been abused by their fathers or previous boyfriends. He even admits to having had dealings with sex traffickers. Ted is not as bad as bad as Barney obviously, but he's also pretty emotionally manipulative.
I have never watched the show, but I would not be at all surprised of seeing a bunch of things that are today problematic, that back then was somewhat “normal” to do/say. Not saying people shouldn’t bring it up as a way of saying something like “what not to do because it’s wrong”. But I bet there are some people trying to cancel the show without understanding the historical context of the show. Many people seem to forget that society’s way of thinking changes all the time and try to cancel things from almost 20 years ago. Not saying you were trying to do this, just had to vent because I’m annoyed at people trying cancel shows/movies from so long ago because today is seen as wrong without stopping to think about the time these things were made
I’d be interested to see to Gen Z having to answer for the present day in like 30 years. At 53, I probably won’t be around, but I’m sure there’ll things that the new generation will find incredibly problematic about shows & movies we’re watching right now. Even the ones we think are doing their best to not be problematic.
People are saying a lot of these shows are problematic now…..
@@stupid4parx_ I totally get that.
I think is very valid to point out this things and critic (is this word right?) this shows for it's problematic contents.
and this things that you said seems like the types of things that should be on that article. I don't remember any of this, but If these were the examples, I would've taken it more seriously. because the jokes that the article point out, don't seem problematic, they're just unfunny.
and it's also important to remember how humor chances with the decades.
in the 40's all the funny jokes were about r*pe. in the 90's was homophobic jokes. yearly 2000's (and every decade before that) it was how women are crazy. HIMYM used a lot of that.
it's all products of the time they were made in, and a lot of it is very much problematic
'Mixed signals' is never a valid justification for breaking boundaries. If ANY of the signals you get from someone indicate that they aren't interested, then proceed under the assumption that THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED.
If you feel confused, then act like an adult and have a conversation to clarify where you stand, explain why you're confused and allow the other person a chance to explain the signals they were intentionally sending as opposed to the signals you were reading too far into.
Dylan I love you, and I assume you meant no harm, but about your Barney comment regarding race: it isnt only problematic when its like "these groups of people are bad". What he was doing was fetishization. BIPOC Fetishization is a huge issue. You should look into it!
I agree with you about the How I Met Your Mother stuff as far as what you've seen, however I'd say it is problematic later on. Barney and Ted are both really creepy, with Ted borderline stalking Robin, and Barney getting women drunk and lying to them to sleep with them. They're conquests to him, which is problematic. Later on Barney sleeps with Robin and Marshall says "Robin knows you had sex with her, right?" It's a joke on the show but the fact he felt the need to ask that says a lot.
Man THANK YOU for being you honestly! So glad to hear that rant going on inside my brain coming from someone else, it's just so comforting..
Can we please have Dylan dissect TH-camrs' and other celebrities' shitty apologies to controversies? Because this makes me happy to see how stupid people are as called out because of Dylan.
12:10 When dylan talked about this part, it resonates so well with the usual I guess “Nice guy” effect, where people think they are the only one entitled to have a say in something when they help this someone… any yes that’s WHY “Nice Guys” finish lasts.
Even as a white woman who will never have to face it, I have seen how fetishization has affected my friends and poc in general. It’s a harmful practice that shouldn’t be normalized on TV or real life. Although the other points in that article were ridiculous, that one was not. Harmful stereotypes don’t always have to be negative.
Yeah, well have you ever been in Arabia?
I mean even if your white… I’m sure there are some people out there who would love to fetishize you
@@pinkimietz3243 Or East Asia 👀
It’s true that it’s a problem but the article was wrong for bringing it up in that context just to excuse her behavior and speak over a victim of sexual assault
@@pennify2079 they're talking about the himym article, not sienna's
we should continue calling Dylan ''movie boy'' from now on
two dylan videos in a day, two dylans in this video, thank you universe
I really appreciate your commentary Dylan. You put a great perspective on it. Just like a bit picky of a thing as an SA survivor. I wouldn’t say that anyone who crossed boundaries “didn’t do anything unforgivable”. That kind of downgrades what victims go through. Yeah, people do stupid shit when they’re young and I get what you were saying, but that wording made it seem like “eh she didn’t do that much so if she owns up to it whatever.” And that’s kind of unfair. I don’t know if that’s what you meant. I love your videos and you seem to really care about being sensitive to survivors. But being young is a reason for actions, not an excuse, and jack can still be hurt by it even if it wasn’t at the level of illegal SA cases.
One of my favorite videos of yours ever. Not so much about Sienna and Jack (I didn't know where they were, but I've known about the situation) but your points of view on taking responsibility, ownership, and growing from it. As well as the fact how Sienna "apologized" in her article. Saying "if" in any apology is never a real apology, especially when you know how the other person feels. That's the same with any situation where someone is wrong and don't actually own up to their mistakes. For the person that is hurt too, it isn't fair and it makes it harder for them heal and move on from situations too. I feel like people most of the time don't apologize because they can't admit to themselves that they are wrong or that they've done wrong and they don't grow from that. Another thing is being the bigger person.I understand that it is hard to be the bigger person, but I've always tried to be the bigger person because that is just the right thing to do and I've never understand why other can't at least try to do the same. It just seems so much more simple to own what you did, apologize and mean it and move on.
I love how you addressed all these topics and point of views. More so because you brought up a lot of things I don't think that get talked about on TH-cam enough about taking ownership and growing. A lot of these things I've always known and just nice to see someone talk about them. One of the things I love about your content is your perspective and understanding about topics rather if is movies, shows, or ticktock stars. Always great to watch and listen.
He literally said she SA-ing him is not unforgivable 😐
SAW THE THUMBNAIL. DYLAN DRAG HER
Thank you for covering this controversy Dylan. I really wish you would have focused more on Jack's video and not only Sienna's side of the story. Please watch Psychology in Seattle's analysis of his video to better understand the importance and gravity of that video in the context of this whole story.
i absolutely love your content! how you can talk about serious topics and have very well formed arguments/ideas and at the same time NEVER fail to make me laugh ❤️ thanks for making videos
two vids in one day! i feel blessed
I respect you so much as a creator and being honest and yourself. Keeping doing you Dylan! Long time fan since your music reactions ❤️
Thank you Dylan for using your platform for important topics too and making us laugh at the same time
Thank you for touching upon such a serious topic like this I love this channel.
I’m younger than her and I know damn well not to do what she did. Disgusting. Kids have common sense too. Kids aren’t experienced but we still have a sense of what’s right or wrong.
I really sat here listening to you talk about two people I do not care about just cause it's you, maan
omg you’re feeding us tysm dylan i love you so much💝💝💝🤸🏼♀️🤸🏼♀️🤸🏼♀️
When little Dylan did the backflip I lost it😂💀
Me too 😆 icon this man
we are being blessed with Dylan content
While I do love himym, Barney and Ted are objectively problematic characters the thing is they are a product of their time but Ted is the embodiment of the nice guy trope and Barney while a lot what he does is played up for jokes he treats women pretty horrible and it’s even suggested he’s done borderline illegal things to women so kinda bad but nonetheless it’s a good show.
There's a pretty popular theory among fans that since Ted is a proven unreliable narrator, he really exaggerated the extent of Barney's behaviour when he was telling the story to his kids, to make himself look better in comparison. Which tbh is a very Ted thing to do, so I buy it.
Thank you for not naming the act, that shows sensibility for the victims. You make a lot of valid points, I think these kind of videos are very important and bring some nuance to these stories. Thanks again 💜
Today has been a blessed day with two videos from Dylan 🙌🏼
Wtf i literally just finished your tall girl video and thought “now what.” Thanks homie
can i just say... i like this video a lot. it's nice to see dylan being serious and mature with a good moral take. i feel like it would be really nice to talk to him or have him listen to you - like a good friend who's fun and comfortable to be with. i've been tired because of schoolwork, and this video was just a nice way to unwind and end the day. thanks, dylan! hope we boogies can have an opportunity to meet you one day! toodles~
Sienna gives " *I'm only seventeen i don't know anything* "
And Jack gives " *Cause i knew everything when i was young* "
It's refreshing to see how you yourself can understand self reflection and understanding what a true apology is😌, most people can't, it's a beautiful trait to have.❤
Since I was 13 I've understood what SA is and the importance of keeping boundaries and respecting others. I'm only a year older than her, she has no excuse. It makes me feel so upset that she acts like she doesn't know what she's doing and shouldn't be held responsible for her actions. Her response to all the accusations is even more telling. Just the worst.
Honestly this shouldn't even be a discussion. Sienna should face the real consequences for her actions. Her attempt at manipulation and then slander Jack is pathetic. Someone who's clearly grasping at straws cuz they thought nobody would ever care about this. Especially cuz she was OnLy JuSt BaReLy 18 aT tHe TiMe.
The age cop-out is so worn out. I knew at 17 (and much younger, for that matter) that SA & SH are incredibly wrong. “I’m too young to know better” is far too often the excuse from influencers when they mess up, and it’s just BS. You don’t magically learn how to refrain from committing a crime at 18
I’m younger than Sienna at 17 and even I know that the best way to move forward is to accept you did wrong and not deflect that blame but to accept it and apologize. Jack seems like a pretty great guy who really didn’t want all of this to blow up as it did and even at the end he only asked for her to take accountability for the hurt she has caused. Age is not an excuse, if you’ve done wrong, you’ve done wrong no matter how you meant it. Which is why apologies exist. If you are truly sorry and reflect on your actions, then it can help you be redeemable.
I've been in the situation where another person, even after being told no multiple times, grasps on to any kind of kindness as if it were "flirting". It's terrible, and in some cases terrifying, and they will still deny they have done anything wrong, because in their minds they truly haven't done anything wrong because they took any sort of sign from the other person as being open to some sort of relationship other than friendship. In reality, if someone says no it really means no and people need to understand this and move on, but they don't, because they're blinded by their own narcissism. No really does mean no and if that boy did express that in any way she is in the wrong even if she can't see it.
You should do another guessing random movie trailer review scores but instead of giving away money you give away your Youtooz
I've been watching countless videos of the sienna and Jack situation and just wanted to watch yours to boost it, but I actually loved your take on it. No one's really pointed out the fact that she keeps blaming the fact that she didn't know better because she's young EVERYTIME she gets in trouble. It's always been rubbing me the wrong way, and no one has covered it as well as you from what I've seen. This is a great video👍👍
dylan you are so right about how using the "im young" excuse requires a certain level of self-awareness and developed brain. definitely. i never really thought of it that way but it is so true! only looking back on my teenage years did i have that forgiveness for my cringy self and clarity regarding my past thoughts and actions
The age thing really bothers me.
I was abused for 7 years by a boy around 1.5-2yrs older than me, from ages 7-14. Even though the sexual stuff didn't happened until later, he was always actively abusive. The amount of times I've had people say "oh he was that young? It couldn't have been that bad then, maybe you just remember is worse than it was" infuriates me. It makes me hardly able to share with people because I fear that reaction, and I fear that I'll start to believe it too.
I don't care how young someone is. What's wrong is wrong, and something that major doesn't really happen without the perpetrator being at least somewhat aware of it being bad.
16:34 Okay Im commenting as I watch: DYLAN ! Please do not downplay the accusations against Sienna Mae! It involves SA-ing someone incapacitated, breaking into his house to once again SA him while he was asleep, and more. How is that not "crazy unforgiveable?" You're tearing me apart -Lisa- Dylan 😞
Yeahh i don’t think that’s forgivable but she gotta apologise
I’m 17 and if I learned that I broke someone’s boundaries like that and made them uncomfortable, even accidentally, I would feel absolutely terrible. Her age is just not a good excuse. It’s not that hard to respect other people and being young does not excuse her.
You worded everything great. It made me feel very safe
love starting the video with dylan being so enthusiastic abt his lil action figures
DYLAN! I was messed over by a friend and a fwb recently and you took the words right out of my mouth! They both wouldn't take responsibility but would rather gaslight me and make it seem like they weren't at fault! But I had set my boundaries very clearly and they both acknowledge it before but seemed to forget all about it after the fact! They tried to make me seem irrational!
Me: sad I only got to watch one new Dylan video today
Also me: remembering Dylan has TWO channels and getting TWO videos in one day
😱👏🏻😭
Please get this video to Jack Wright, the dissection of all her actions would prove useful for any lawsuit he would push. Really good analysis!
I didn't know who are the people Dylan are talking abt, but man he is rlly detailed it's amazing how Dylan worded his sentence, i love it!🥰
Ya know, sometimes I forget how genuinely intelligent Dylan is. I love his serious videos
it doesn't matter if the character says that they find "half-asian" or Lebanese people attractive. It's blatant fetishization. That's why it's so problematic. That was a bad take, Dylan.
Knew absolutely nothing about the whole tik tok situation seeing as I don't have tik tok and I'm not into the creators whatsoever. Following you for as long as I have, I care about what you have to say and I can whole heartily agree with all that you did say. You're an amazing person Dylan, thank you for not being afraid to speak your mind 💜
This video is everything. I love how you broke down her manipulative behaviour and discussed this topic in a very mature way. Preach Dylan!
why was her "apology" so damn long lol?? like she literally just only needed a paragraph to say what was needed of her lol. i couldn't believe how much she wrote and ended up saying so little. that's how you know she didn't learn and isn't taking accountability.
It's the fact that she uses the "I'm young" and "I'm only seventeen!" excuse, if you can even call it that. Kids as early as 6-7 can be thought to have personal boundaries and to not do this shit, they don't do thing intentionally but react. They're literal babies. But by 17 you're old enough to tell when someone is uncomfortable unless you have a condition that affects how you perceive social cues. When I was 17, hell when everyone I know was 17, we knew that sort of shit was wrong. Sienna is in the public sphere and has has way more social interaction than I had when I was her age, so there is no way she wouldn't know that sort of thing was wrong. Misinterpreting things one time could maybe be forgiven if she simply misread his body language and words and acted on what she assumed was mutual interest. But he told her no multiple times in multiple situations and she DIDN'T CARE. That is the difference and a person who disregard that sort of boundary shouldn't be forgiven because she is fully well going to do it again regardless. She didn't feel remorse or realise she was wrong and needed to stop, she saw herself as a victim and will do it again in the future. She's upset she got caught, called out with evidence and that Jack had the strength to speak out. He deserves so much better and she needs to have her platform taken off her.
Youtooz: let's sponsor this man with over 1 mil subs
Dylan: Cool! I'll promote it on my secondary channel with over 300K subs
Youtooz: ...
So we’re not gonna talk about how it truly IS NOT okay for someone to say that they “had a thing for half-Asian girls” and that they “now have a new favorite…Lebanese girls.” ? You don’t have to talk shit about a race/ethnicity of people for it to be wrong. Fetishizing people of a race/ ethnicity is ALSO wrong. Simply two different sides of the same coin.
To be honest, I think they meant Barneys comment about Lebanese women was problematic because of fetishization of a certain race
"I'm still young, ill make mistakes"
But you're old enough to know better🙄
Thanks for being considerate and calling it sa instead of the whole word, it's really comforting to know that the TH-camrs you watch and like are thoughtful and care about important topics.
0:05 - 1:53 not me just sat here grinning like a loon 😄🤭 so adorable 😻 gawwdddd
Dylan, I am genuinely impressed with your commentary on this. You never use language to put down the survivor, you intelligently consider and talk about the things that Sienna writes in the article and why they are inappropriate responses, and you don't exhibit toxic masculinity talking about a female abuse and male survivor. We love to see it. Great video!
Dylan I hate to disagree with you but...fetishisation of a particular racial group is still very problematic and damaging
absolutely agree. love dylan but that didn’t sit right with me
dude i've been WAITING SO LONG for you to talk about this
I know that this was a long time ago but she was 17 at the time. She was old enough to know right from wrong, at that age she was a senior in highschool. She means to tell me that she didn't learn the importance of consent? She's young but she's certainly not dumb, she knew exactly what she was doing and it's very obvious. As a teen myself I understand the value of consent and I am way younger than her. It's taught by parents and it's taught in school, please just learn to take no as an answer
Love your videos Dylan but I do disagree on some points. In regards to the HIMYM article, fetishization IS problematic, I understand that’s how the character is meant to be written but dismissing the comment as simply “douchy” is wrong. In the Sienna Mae portion you mention that what she did “wasn’t unforgivable” but I disagree. He was sexually assaulted, it wasn’t merely an issue of overstepping boundaries. It severely impacted his life and his future. Hope you understand where I’m coming from, I don’t want this to be misconstrued as a hate comment of any sort.
thing is, what he's doing is fetishizing groups of people. which is dehumanizing and therefore actually is problematic. whether it is fetishizing or calling a group disgusting, it is viewing them as different and not the regular humans they are.
Hey Dylan, i think you did a really good job explaining and breaking down the responses in the Sienna Mae and Jack Weight case. I really appreciated your point of view
i think what people fail to realize is like,,, even if sienna and jack WERE dating like he flirted with her whatever... that still is not consent to be touched while you're unconsciousness. "Mixed signals" don't apply to consent. If someone can't say yes or no,, you don't get to make that decision for them just because you guys have a special/flirty relationship otherwise. Sienna disgusts me so much. I hate her.
pretty sick that this action figure has back flip abilities
this is a clear case of abuser trying to gaslight their way out of their wrongdoings. He repeatedly told her he didn"t see her as anything more than a friend and she REPEATEDLY IGNORED whatever he said trying to "win" him over. That is just gross. Although she is young, she cannot use her age as an excuse considering all the talks being publicly had about consent, SA, toxic behaviors and red flags. He looked visibly distraught when reminiscing about all the things she did to him and she just looks super aggressive and full of contempt. If someone accused you of sexually assaulting them, you wouldn't deflect, you would just say "I didn't do that!!" but all she does is trying to use any excuse on top of blatantly lying about him giving her "mixed signals". She's despicable and isn't able to apologize like a person. She needs to admit what she has done is she hopes to do any growing at all.