As a Christian type 8 woman who grew up in the south, I've leaned heavily into my 7 wing to try and make my expressions of anger more comical and easily digested for others. Nonetheless, anger it is very my most outwardly expressed and easily accessed emotion, hands down. Rage rooms were created for 8s! Not all anger is unrighteous anger. Learning to pick our battles is especially important for us 8s.
Hahaha “I’m a type nine and yes...I am in the anger triad.” Thanks so much for your videos Hillary. I’m a 2w1 and 9s have been so hard for me to understand but your videos of being a 9 as well as seeing you as a 9 interview other types has been helping me understand 9s much more. But even better, this channel wouldn’t be so enlightening without you, a 9, leading it. Your ability to really see every single side so empathetically helps me really take everyone as they are. Blessings! ❤️
Thanks Hillary. I just muddied the waters on my type, AGAIN. I believe I am a 9w1 but the description of the 1s on this video regarding expressing anger.
Thank you! I’m trying to figure out my tritype but I was having difficulty figuring out my gut type since on truity I got almost equal results on the 3 of them.
A year ago I got type 5. Recently a type 8, but type 5 and 1 were within 2-3 percent points. Assuming type 8, I feel that it takes a lot for me to get angry..it's mostly frustration so I resonate more with the type 1 "anger" mode.
My son (He is a type 5) had the type 1, 5 & 8 in his top 3 too! The type 5 has anger but it takes a lot to get them angry. I would say the are more irritated than angry. The type 1 represses there anger and it leaks out. The type 8 just lets there anger out if they are angry. But depending on the type 8s health it can take them a while to get angry. They look angry a lot but would say they are not actually angry. Hope this helps!
@@enneagramandcoaching wow! I'm sure you can help me in deciding.. Now I have a "need to know". I just learned about you yesterday and really digging your content. I'll be booking a session with you soon :)
I’m a 9 and a total stuffer! Early on in our marriage I would blow and things might or might not have flown across the room. I would blow and then it would be over, I don’t hold grudges or hash the event over again. I am now a much healthier 9 and rarely blow, I tend to express my anger and disappoints out more often when they come at me. I guess you can say I have found my voice, sometimes my husband jokes and says he’s not sure what “sheila” he prefers....
I think as a 9 being in a relationship with a 1 could teach me to be a better person. Like a 1 could show me how to improve and have a more effective approach to life because I don’t know what I’m doing!
It is kind of embarrassing to me to get to be part of the 'anger' triad. Anger isn't 'nice' or acceptable in a female, or in a 'submissive wife'...( anger wasn't OK for me to express growing up, at least) and it sounds to me like there is this free-reign to just let loose or something with no self -control at all... when all types get angry at one time or another, I would think. (Don't they?) Yet when I view anger as a 'righteous indignation' and at times something that I SHOULD be feeling - then it isn't all 'bad'. (" Be angry - and sin not" (in the expression of that anger)... there is a difference there.) As a 9 w1, I tend to feel discouraged... blocked, in a way... afraid to really speak up (to avoid conflict)... then think, "It's ok..." (This must be the will of God for me not to - whatever)... then it can settle inside me as 'this is what ALWAYS seems to happen... which can lead to resentment if I don't deal with the situation inside of me somehow. It may take a few pages of me journaling to 'get it all out' on paper ( I journal to the Lord...and pour my heart out to Him) or letting myself actually feel the pain somewhere private and cry a few tears... to own that I DO have feelings, opinions, and wishes. I HAVE A VOICE. I am not all 'selfish' as I am told (... grrrrrrr... anger towards women can be so blatant)... so yes - there is a LOT of self-work to do, and it isn't at all joyful... but hard, tough, sweaty, WORK. I can feel anger in situations... that is not 'wrong'. It is what I DO with that feeling of anger that is my responsibility. Stuffing it is unhealthy...as it can lead to all kinds of body issues and soreness. I am finally learning, slowly... to entrust myself fully to God - and not to other people or their opinion of me. ( Opinions are like belly buttons... everyone has one... including me!) To realize in myself the very first signs when I am ignoring my anger or stuffing it. To speak up assertively ( I statements) when needed, and to allow the challenging process of having the dross burn off through different situations that I find are challenging as all get out. ~ The only way out is through, right? ☺
I had to read this a few times, it is so good and such great insight. Thank you so much for sharing. SO GOOD. This can help so many other people that relate and feel the same. And yes, the only way out is through. :)
Really helpful! I’m very new to enneagram and I swear it seems I’m every number. Haha - but since watching your videos, I’m pretty sure I’m a 9 with 8/1 wings.
Haha! Typical response of a 9 because we can merge with all numbers and therefore can feel like all the types depending on who we are with. Thanks for sharing!
@@enneagramandcoaching Lol! Only thing is I've done the test twice the past 24 hrs and looks like I'm a 1, 8 + 3. 9 was the least relatable. Interesting stuff but a bit confusing. :)
So, question...what does this mean for the 7's? We have a wing in the anger triad and our stress number is in there too...and oh my, I have been feeling it recently. And it is really frustrating because I want to be back to being optimistic. Have you done a video on the thinking triad?
You’re right a seven can access their anger if they go towards their stress arrow. When this happens use it as a wake up call and figure out why you are going towards your stress arrow. You are in the optimistic triad. What has worked in the past that you can do to be/stay in a more healthy place? Sometimes going back to what works can help. For me it’s journaling, listening to worship music, showing up to my life (I deal with sloth) etc...anyways, a video on the thinking triad is in the works 🙌🏼
@@enneagramandcoaching My top Love languages are touch and quality time. I think not having these things as much has had a negative impact. This past Tuesday I actually had a day off work. I had lunch with a friend and we talked for 2 hours. then we had a Bridal shower at church so I was able to be with friends and talk to them and even made tentative plans for a trip to the beach with one, and just those things that day really changed how I was feeling. I felt connected to everyone again with such an almost normal feeling event (and day) even though we had to wear masks. I just really need people, kind of funny since the wounding childhood message for the 7 is that you can't depend on anyone for anything.
I can’t even imagine you getting angry. You are so easy to listen to and pleasant! Thank you for the insights you share with us😊
This made my day!!!! Hahaha! ❤️🙌🏼
As a Christian type 8 woman who grew up in the south, I've leaned heavily into my 7 wing to try and make my expressions of anger more comical and easily digested for others. Nonetheless, anger it is very my most outwardly expressed and easily accessed emotion, hands down. Rage rooms were created for 8s! Not all anger is unrighteous anger. Learning to pick our battles is especially important for us 8s.
Hahaha “I’m a type nine and yes...I am in the anger triad.” Thanks so much for your videos Hillary. I’m a 2w1 and 9s have been so hard for me to understand but your videos of being a 9 as well as seeing you as a 9 interview other types has been helping me understand 9s much more. But even better, this channel wouldn’t be so enlightening without you, a 9, leading it. Your ability to really see every single side so empathetically helps me really take everyone as they are. Blessings! ❤️
Wow! You’ve made my day. This truly touched my heart. It’s comments like these that help me to own “my presence matters” and believe it. ❤️
Type 8 here, woodworking is so great for anger!
That’s awesome! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Hillary. I just muddied the waters on my type, AGAIN. I believe I am a 9w1 but the description of the 1s on this video regarding expressing anger.
love this so much! Keep making more videos there arent too many Enneagram only TH-camrs! :)
Thank you so much! You’ve made my day! 🤗
Thank you! I’m trying to figure out my tritype but I was having difficulty figuring out my gut type since on truity I got almost equal results on the 3 of them.
This was really insightful! Looking forward to hearing the other triads!
Jennifer D'Amato thanks!!! The feelings Triad will be out next!!! Your triad! ❤️
A year ago I got type 5. Recently a type 8, but type 5 and 1 were within 2-3 percent points. Assuming type 8, I feel that it takes a lot for me to get angry..it's mostly frustration so I resonate more with the type 1 "anger" mode.
My son (He is a type 5) had the type 1, 5 & 8 in his top 3 too! The type 5 has anger but it takes a lot to get them angry. I would say the are more irritated than angry. The type 1 represses there anger and it leaks out. The type 8 just lets there anger out if they are angry. But depending on the type 8s health it can take them a while to get angry. They look angry a lot but would say they are not actually angry. Hope this helps!
@@enneagramandcoaching wow! I'm sure you can help me in deciding..
Now I have a "need to know". I just learned about you yesterday and really digging your content. I'll be booking a session with you soon :)
I’m a 9 and a total stuffer! Early on in our marriage I would blow and things might or might not have flown across the room. I would blow and then it would be over, I don’t hold grudges or hash the event over again. I am now a much healthier 9 and rarely blow, I tend to express my anger and disappoints out more often when they come at me. I guess you can say I have found my voice, sometimes my husband jokes and says he’s not sure what “sheila” he prefers....
I totally relate!!! Your husband is funny!
I think as a 9 being in a relationship with a 1 could teach me to be a better person. Like a 1 could show me how to improve and have a more effective approach to life because I don’t know what I’m doing!
Hey I would love to hear about the Head and Heart triad as well. God bless. ❤️
Yes! This is coming. I’ve meant to do both of these for a long time 😂
Ty for this. I was debating if I had 8 or 9 in my tritype and turns out it was 1 lol :)
It is kind of embarrassing to me to get to be part of the 'anger' triad. Anger isn't 'nice' or acceptable in a female, or in a 'submissive wife'...( anger wasn't OK for me to express growing up, at least) and it sounds to me like there is this free-reign to just let loose or something with no self -control at all... when all types get angry at one time or another, I would think. (Don't they?) Yet when I view anger as a 'righteous indignation' and at times something that I SHOULD be feeling - then it isn't all 'bad'. (" Be angry - and sin not" (in the expression of that anger)... there is a difference there.)
As a 9 w1, I tend to feel discouraged... blocked, in a way... afraid to really speak up (to avoid conflict)... then think, "It's ok..." (This must be the will of God for me not to - whatever)... then it can settle inside me as 'this is what ALWAYS seems to happen... which can lead to resentment if I don't deal with the situation inside of me somehow. It may take a few pages of me journaling to 'get it all out' on paper ( I journal to the Lord...and pour my heart out to Him) or letting myself actually feel the pain somewhere private and cry a few tears... to own that I DO have feelings, opinions, and wishes. I HAVE A VOICE. I am not all 'selfish' as I am told (... grrrrrrr... anger towards women can be so blatant)... so yes - there is a LOT of self-work to do, and it isn't at all joyful... but hard, tough, sweaty, WORK. I can feel anger in situations... that is not 'wrong'. It is what I DO with that feeling of anger that is my responsibility. Stuffing it is unhealthy...as it can lead to all kinds of body issues and soreness.
I am finally learning, slowly... to entrust myself fully to God - and not to other people or their opinion of me. ( Opinions are like belly buttons... everyone has one... including me!) To realize in myself the very first signs when I am ignoring my anger or stuffing it. To speak up assertively ( I statements) when needed, and to allow the challenging process of having the dross burn off through different situations that I find are challenging as all get out. ~ The only way out is through, right? ☺
I had to read this a few times, it is so good and such great insight. Thank you so much for sharing. SO GOOD. This can help so many other people that relate and feel the same. And yes, the only way out is through. :)
Great information!
Thanks!
Cute office!
Thanks! ❤️
Really helpful! I’m very new to enneagram and I swear it seems I’m every number. Haha - but since watching your videos, I’m pretty sure I’m a 9 with 8/1 wings.
Haha! Typical response of a 9 because we can merge with all numbers and therefore can feel like all the types depending on who we are with. Thanks for sharing!
@@enneagramandcoaching Lol! Only thing is I've done the test twice the past 24 hrs and looks like I'm a 1, 8 + 3. 9 was the least relatable. Interesting stuff but a bit confusing. :)
So, question...what does this mean for the 7's? We have a wing in the anger triad and our stress number is in there too...and oh my, I have been feeling it recently. And it is really frustrating because I want to be back to being optimistic. Have you done a video on the thinking triad?
You’re right a seven can access their anger if they go towards their stress arrow. When this happens use it as a wake up call and figure out why you are going towards your stress arrow. You are in the optimistic triad. What has worked in the past that you can do to be/stay in a more healthy place? Sometimes going back to what works can help. For me it’s journaling, listening to worship music, showing up to my life (I deal with sloth) etc...anyways, a video on the thinking triad is in the works 🙌🏼
@@enneagramandcoaching My top Love languages are touch and quality time. I think not having these things as much has had a negative impact. This past Tuesday I actually had a day off work. I had lunch with a friend and we talked for 2 hours. then we had a Bridal shower at church so I was able to be with friends and talk to them and even made tentative plans for a trip to the beach with one, and just those things that day really changed how I was feeling. I felt connected to everyone again with such an almost normal feeling event (and day) even though we had to wear masks. I just really need people, kind of funny since the wounding childhood message for the 7 is that you can't depend on anyone for anything.
😦🤔 you have anger????
I repress it and then it comes out like a volcano 🌋😳😂 Just ask my kids.
@@enneagramandcoaching 🤭 that's okay..I do too. Just ask my boyfriend 😅 I'm a 2.
Jordan Fisher hahaha!