I think one big issue that keeps adoption somewhat distant from black families, is the black community’s long-standing relationship with CPS. We as black women are threatened with CPS in the way that black men are threatened with the police. It’s not a coincidence that so many foster youth are black. It’s not that we’re worse parents, it’s that the system is far less forgiving towards us. See: the new Jane Crow articles
I (asian) was put into foster care with a sibling. Our foster parents were white, and raised us for years. But when it came time for us to be adopted, me and my sib had 2 different lawyers, and even though our fosters raised us from birth and wanted to adopt us both, my sibling's lawyer was adamant that my sib should be placed in an asian household. The only available adoptive asian household was unfortunately not ideal. My sib was adopted by the asian family, and I was adopted by our white fosters. My sib ended up experiencing horrifying abuse and neglect for years, while I had a stable loving home. Eventually my sib's adoptive family reached out to mine and asked if we would take them cause they didn't want them anymore. It was just a really sad situation overall that shouldn't have happened. I truly hope that this system gets developed better so that there aren't like you say, only 2 options. Due to what happened to my sib, I used to be very pro-transracial since I believed that if my sib's lawyer wasn't anti-transracial adoption, then none of that horrible stuff would have happened to them and we would have grown up together. But over time and after doing more research and meeting more adoptees, I have come to agree with you that transracial adoption actually is not ideal and that the problems that happened in our specific situation were much bigger than just one lawyer. In order to avoid what happened to us, a lot needs to change. Thank you for everything you do to speak out, raise awareness, have these open and real and raw conversations, and help change the tides for future adoptees
This conversation made me think things about adoption and race that I hadn't thought of before. Thank you, Maya and Angela, for exploring these issues around identity. I have shared this with other adoptive families that may also feel unique in this way.
As someone who was adopted by a same race black family in a closed adoption….it’s not easier…just different. I still lacked my identify…just simply grew up rooted in the culture.
I think there is missing information, the formal adoption process by which you adopt using an adoption agency, those agencies do not seek out nor advertise or communicate within the blk community nor do they seek out blk families. So many blk families are not aware of these agencies nor their services. Also there is a cultural issue with traditional adoption, that can be offensive with in the blk community. “ putting a child up for adoption “ just sounds and appears too close to slavery, also I think we see more informal adoptions because people are able to see the need, and adopted families like to have knowledge of the child’s family and circumstances. Not everyone is comfortable with “ taking” a child from their family of origin without more understanding of what the situation is.
I am a HAP who will be adopting a black child. I would love to become a part of a group for black adoptees with black parents to hear more. This session was AMAZING!!! Thank you so much ladies! Where can I find more about Maya?
I host a monthly same race Black adoptee zoom support group. If there are any same race Black adoptees that are interested please do let me know. We had our first meeting Sept. 2020 and we are still meeting.
Back in the day there was a lot of informal adoption and fostering in the Black community. Please do some research on this. Also CPS is much more apt to do child removal from Black and brown homes.
I’m black and was adopted by white parents who had two blood kids. My two cents. If ur going to adopt from any race from yours. I advice you not have blood kids prior or after adoption. There’s a lot of cognitive behaviors from parent to their blood children which would eat you alive because you never want to talk about it. If you say something, then it’s not authentic. You pretty much live in a trap. Damned if you do damned if you don’t. That’s just based on my experience. It’s literally a living hell.
I think one big issue that keeps adoption somewhat distant from black families, is the black community’s long-standing relationship with CPS. We as black women are threatened with CPS in the way that black men are threatened with the police. It’s not a coincidence that so many foster youth are black. It’s not that we’re worse parents, it’s that the system is far less forgiving towards us. See: the new Jane Crow articles
I (asian) was put into foster care with a sibling. Our foster parents were white, and raised us for years. But when it came time for us to be adopted, me and my sib had 2 different lawyers, and even though our fosters raised us from birth and wanted to adopt us both, my sibling's lawyer was adamant that my sib should be placed in an asian household. The only available adoptive asian household was unfortunately not ideal. My sib was adopted by the asian family, and I was adopted by our white fosters. My sib ended up experiencing horrifying abuse and neglect for years, while I had a stable loving home. Eventually my sib's adoptive family reached out to mine and asked if we would take them cause they didn't want them anymore. It was just a really sad situation overall that shouldn't have happened.
I truly hope that this system gets developed better so that there aren't like you say, only 2 options. Due to what happened to my sib, I used to be very pro-transracial since I believed that if my sib's lawyer wasn't anti-transracial adoption, then none of that horrible stuff would have happened to them and we would have grown up together.
But over time and after doing more research and meeting more adoptees, I have come to agree with you that transracial adoption actually is not ideal and that the problems that happened in our specific situation were much bigger than just one lawyer. In order to avoid what happened to us, a lot needs to change. Thank you for everything you do to speak out, raise awareness, have these open and real and raw conversations, and help change the tides for future adoptees
This conversation made me think things about adoption and race that I hadn't thought of before. Thank you, Maya and Angela, for exploring these issues around identity. I have shared this with other adoptive families that may also feel unique in this way.
As someone who was adopted by a same race black family in a closed adoption….it’s not easier…just different. I still lacked my identify…just simply grew up rooted in the culture.
I think there is missing information, the formal adoption process by which you adopt using an adoption agency, those agencies do not seek out nor advertise or communicate within the blk community nor do they seek out blk families. So many blk families are not aware of these agencies nor their services. Also there is a cultural issue with traditional adoption, that can be offensive with in the blk community. “ putting a child up for adoption “ just sounds and appears too close to slavery, also I think we see more informal adoptions because people are able to see the need, and adopted families like to have knowledge of the child’s family and circumstances. Not everyone is comfortable with “ taking” a child from their family of origin without more understanding of what the situation is.
This is a fascinating and really perceptive conversation. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
I am a HAP who will be adopting a black child. I would love to become a part of a group for black adoptees with black parents to hear more. This session was AMAZING!!! Thank you so much ladies! Where can I find more about Maya?
Hi Erica! I would love to speak with you! Are you on Instagram? Or how would you like to communicate?
@@mayaholmes8137 Wonderful, Im on instagram @trulyericanicole. We can communicate by email as well if you’re open to it.
I host a monthly same race Black adoptee zoom support group. If there are any same race Black adoptees that are interested please do let me know. We had our first meeting Sept. 2020 and we are still meeting.
I love it. It was really informational.
I am black and adopted a black child from another country. Any groups for us.
Back in the day there was a lot of informal adoption and fostering in the Black community. Please do some research on this. Also CPS is much more apt to do child removal from Black and brown homes.
I’m black and was adopted by white parents who had two blood kids.
My two cents. If ur going to adopt from any race from yours. I advice you not have blood kids prior or after adoption. There’s a lot of cognitive behaviors from parent to their blood children which would eat you alive because you never want to talk about it. If you say something, then it’s not authentic. You pretty much live in a trap. Damned if you do damned if you don’t. That’s just based on my experience. It’s literally a living hell.
Oh no hun, I am soo soo sorry. I can only imagine...
Black SRA