It’s kind of contradictory to say that a narcissist ex admitted that to gaslighting. One of the behavior patterns of a narcissist is that they won’t admit fault on their own, and that they use gaslighting to convince you that they were never at fault. I can tell you what behavior of my narcissist ex led me to believe that I was being gaslighted though. Gaslighting is a real insidious way of manipulation- to make you believe that there is something wrong with you, that the actions/words of your narcissist weren’t really what they seemed to be. It makes you question your judgement, leading to you ignoring your instincts and senses. I swallowed all of her gaslighting for years, mostly because I wanted the relationship to work- like most people who have been the partner of a narcissist. I started realizing that something was wrong 6 months before I was discarded. It was actually this revelation that I had that led to the discard- once I started seeing through the illusion that she presented, I started to see all of her actions for what they really were, and I started to question her on everything and stood my ground on issues that I previously gave in on. We had gotten into a really bad argument. Tensions between us had been building for a few months. We had to move from our rental and find a new place to live within 2 months, in a town that was going through a surge in prices for rental properties. It was difficult finding a place to live that was within our budget, and still live in the town that had come to be our community. Between that and all of the normal logistics in moving cause a lot of minor arguments and stress between us- more than what was normal with her narcissistic and selfish behavior. We found a place, moved in and was in the process of bringing the final things over from the old place to the new place and cleaning the old place when we had gotten into an argument about something minor. All of the pent up tensions and resentment came out. During the argument, she was dismissive to me and told me that everything was my fault and if I didn’t like it then I could pack my shit and leave. I was so frustrated that I knocked her external computer monitor down (so she would face me and not continue to argue with her back turned to me). She got up and in my face and told me that I probably wanted to hit her. I said that I didn’t, I just wanted to discuss the issues. She said that if I wasn’t man enough to hit her she would give herself a black eye and call the police on me. I turned and left the room, because I knew the argument was escalating to a place that I didn’t;t want it to go. As I turned to leave the room, she jumped on me and started punching me. I told her if she was going to hit me, I would call the police. She started punching me again, so I left the room, went to the master bathroom and called the police. They came, interviewed both of us and arrested her for spousal battery. Afterwards she only blamed me for the incident and never, never acknowledged that she hit me. A week or so later, she asked me to write a letter to the DA requesting that the charges be dropped. I said that I would write a letter but that she would have to acknowledge her actions and to apologize to me first. She said that she was sorry that I felt that way. I told her that I wouldn’t write anything to the DA, and she stormed off, giving me the silent treatment for a couple of days. I knew what happened, and have a very clear recollection of the events. I’ve been punched before with closed fists, and I know what it feels like- and it doesn’t feel like a “shove”, what she insisted was what she did (her story was that she shoved me only after I shoved her, which was nonsense). I got a copy of the police report, and one of several reasons that they arrested her is because they found her knuckles red and swollen. I tried to move through this, but she kept trying to change the narrative of what happened when I was very clear on what happened. I felt crazy, but knew that I wasn’t. This led me to question everything else that she told me. Once I started realizing that most things she told me (when it came to disagreements or things that I had an issue with) were lies, and I believed the illusion that she created to trick me. That’s what the narcissist does- they present an illusion to you. Just like looking at an optical illusion, once you see that it is a trick of the eyes, you can’t look at it again without seeing the trick. Once I started seeing through her illusions, the house of cards that she built started to fall down and I slowly started to realize the type of person that she was, even though I didn’t want to believe it. I started enforcing my boundaries and that drove her crazy and caused more fights and gaslighting, which is what I believe led to her finally discarding me 6 months after her arrest. She never admitted to gaslighting me though. Even after confronting her with things from years previous that I realized she changed to make me the one at fault, she stays with her story. Even with indisputable proof, she stays with her version of events and says everyone else is wrong. Don’t expect any type of satisfaction or closure from a narcissist, because you won’t get any. You have to believe your judgment and instinct, and not tie your self-worth and self-esteem to anything that they say to you. Additionally, If you ever suspect your partner is cheating on you give it a try and remotely access their phone. I had to follow my instincts and get in touch with this private investigator Barryinvestigation@gmail. com who gave me unrestricted access my partner device.
Dr. Teezy!! Love Dr. Tart. He counseled me and husband recently. We were for SURE headed for divorce 3 years ago. Thanks to God first and Dr. Tart we made it to our 27th anniversary a week ago. This brother knows his profession inside out💪🏾. Love, love, love Dr. Tart💙
But ain’t Ryan being a hypocrite about the women that friendzone men while getting benefits? Don’t get me wrong I don’t agree with that behavior but if I’m not mistaken doesn’t Ryan do the same thing with the women that he “causally dates.” Hasn’t he expressed that he will tell a woman that he doesn’t want anything serious but will continue on even though he KNOWS the woman wants more? Is one really better than the other. Are both not being used? So, I’m confused as to how he feels soo angered and self righteous about what women do when he is also leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. Self-righteous behavior. I want to hear from a man with a pure heart speak on this matter, not someone who uses women as dumping grounds for their lust.
ABSOLUTELY!! I was so mad no one on the panel caught that and addressed it. He speaks against a lot of things in women that he himself does. It’s scary that he doesn’t see it…and be preaching at the camera like he giving solid advice. Just loud wrong and long winded.
Ouuuuuuuuu honey, that had my blood boiling. I tilted my head so far to the right with a face of disgust😒What Ryan does is a huge form of manipulation knowing those women yearn for more. He needs some serious healing🙏🏾
If you are too nice, too agreeable, a people pleaser, a non assertive person, not having boundaries, not speaking up againt unsavoury things, announce your vulnerabilities to people and a co dependent you will always fall into a relationship with a narcissist. Work on your issues as mentioned above, read about a narc and learn to discern and quickly bat a narc off and to cut a narc out your life.
Be more intentional. Have courage to trust yourself and not in others. People have their own issues so set Boundaries and Guard your heart ♥️ at all cost.
A narcissistic person wants to feel important. You can like them & show interest. They will then back off. They want to be chased. If you go on about your business & stop calling/texting, they will hoover just to get your attention again. If you take the bite...it will just be a continuous cycle. They will leave you feeling stupid & crazy. Just make sure you only feel it once. Don't let them play with your mind like that.
You nailed this verbatim. That cycle is a MF! I was on a hamster wheel of a Super Narc and I actually had to move to get ease from the crazy! Police don't have narcissist in the law books.
That statement one vacation and 9 years is me oh my goodness! I've been with the guy going on 5 years and he had so many excuses until the end of last year, the beginning of this year for us to go on vacation, it was crazy!! It was a good vacation. Until we got to Puerto Rico. And that's a whole another story. Because I ended up leaving and standing in the middle of condado plaza. It was so bad
I dated a narcissist off and on for years (not narcissistic traits but a real narcissist). His ego was so inflated, he was never wrong, he used me and others to his advantage, and truly lacked the ability to really care and empathize. They will really make you feel like you’re going crazy. The level of delusion they create within the situation is insane, especially when you’re having sexual relations with them… it’s a level of manipulation and deception that can be detrimental to your soul. My advice is like the guy said, stay away from them. Once you realize what they are, trying to get them to see it let alone change is like fighting a battle that’s fixed for you to lose. The truth is there are evil spirits operating in these types of people that can only be dealt with through deliverance.
Said with loving intention, for Ryan: You need to watch this episode again. You were in your own therapy session on Live towards the end. They handled you with care. However, it seemed like it went over your head or you just didn't want to admit it. Praying for your healing. A thought for some of your upcoming episodes with just the two of you: when you have a moment of healing or a personal epiphany circle back and discuss your evolution based on some of these discussions that you're having with these experts so that your subscribers and viewers have witness to your testimony and evolution. This will be a great opportunity and example of how evolution and growth really happens (real time). I think that is of great value to your audience. Thank you for what you're doing. I'm getting alot out of some of the episodes, for myself. What are your thoughts? I'd like to hear your feedback. Have a blessed day.
I believe they will both get there in time. You can see a big difference in how they talk and the questions they are asking between recently released videos and just 6 months ago.
A narc with the personality disorder cant and wont change. They will actually use all this knowledge against you since master manipulation is their goal to serve their fragile ego. Very dangerous but sadly, true.
True. They lack emotional empathy. A relationship with a narc will never last as they devalue a partner. There are different levels/ranks of a narc. They have no filters, boundaries & drops narc bombs, do narc invasion & "pity me cards". A narc never changes & there's no such thing as a part time narc. They're pred@tors & takers. Some people make out that narcs are talented/gifted etc. A person is driven by their "narcissism" & may take them 2 the top but they may not sustain it as narcs look for residual benefits from others 2 sustain them - they need people/masses who show + give loyalty @@1love847
True. They lack emotional empathy. A relationship with a narc will never last as they devalue a partner. There are different levels/ranks of a narc. They have no filters, boundaries & drops narc bombs, do narc invasion & "pity me cards". A narc never changes & there's no such thing as a part time narc. They're pred@tors & takers. Some people make out that narcs are talented/gifted etc. A person is driven by their "narcissism" & may take them 2 the top but they may not sustain it as narcs look for residual benefits from others 2 sustain them - they need people/masses who show + give loyalty @1love847
This is really not about the narcissist and their antics. This is about hurt people roaming around the earth brought into life by folks who had no business creating children. Nothing can change "narcissists"...the pain is too deep. Let's change the future.
I married a narcissist and I only lasted 6 months in the house with him. Him taking the keys, gaslighting me, and me recording conversations. I was sooo exhausted . I found myself just recently wanting to go back but I had to be real with myself. Going through with the divorce is a must.
You're describing my current husband of 5 years. I feel like a shell of myself. Taking keys, my ID, etc. Then losing things and blaming me. I could tell from this conversation to only speak of narcissists as being made from accomplishment lets me know none of them are experts in the field of dealing and treating true narcissists...
This was very informative for both single and married individuals. We have been married for 32 years and I am still his #1 fan and he makes it a point to take good care of me. Being 15 years my senior has never been an issue. We support one another in standing strong on our own two feet and being the best "me" we could be. We are better together!
Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow! I been had! I been took! I been hoodwinked! I been run a muck! Run a stray! Bamboozled! Oh team! Thank you for this insight! Thank you for all this value and knowledge team. Brings so much clarity to my life!
I know a few narcissists who are cheaters, liars , manipulators and definitely gas lighters, the thing is they actually struggle with acceptance, validation and communication.
They struggle with LOW self-esteem & the people they choose have something they want to leech on & leave their chosen person a shell of the person they met. #narcissist
This episode was explosive! All three guests brought expertise, prospective, truth and exposure to so many issues. Thank you guys for bringing great content to the world. May your endeavors continue to be blessed!
This is good, the definition of the Narc is on point!! 🔥I dated a narcissistic in 2022, he gaslit me alot, oooh he really tried it, I was like Huh, he thought he had a good one, I was really hurt, but totally dodged that mess!! I'm still in healing and someday I'll open up again but not now, experience and gaining wisdom is everything!! Thank God!👐🏾🥰
They know what they are doing. I have gone through a lot with my husband. If I would tell you, it would blow your mind. He was driven by demonic forces. Now that he has come to Christ and we can talk about everything also on a spiritual level, he shares his thoughts with me and awareness of his behavior. He just did not care. He felt so much entitled and to get what you want or to confuse the other person, he would be very strategic about it. He was not aware about how evil his behavior was because he simply never looked at himself. Nothing was ever his fault so he rarely felt any guilt and if he did he could not bare to think he was a bad person or made a mistake. He would simply project all his feelings on to me. That smirk only came on his face when he tried his best to break me or when he got what he wanted. If that failed he would think and come up with a different plan. And the gaslighting was wild. I have gone trough a lot and gained wisdom when the Holy Spirit opened my eyes and I let Him guide me. My husband has gone trough a lot as a child and me too. They feed of your emotions and know how to trigger you.
I needed to see this! Black people, male and female voices having a balanced and calm, psychological conversation. And I can sense how all of them are speaking in good faith. I didn't know how much I needes to witness this. I want more of this.
Ryan didn’t hear anything the man said about friend zoning I think he missed the point. No one owes you any 🐈 because you hanging around. Just because you develop sexual attraction doesn’t mean that the other person is there yet
To RYAN, People can walk and chew gum at the same time. Yohance Murray was on point. It’s very easy to cater to a woman’s preferences and express yours at the same time. In fact not inquiring about a woman’s interests on a first date is off putting. Don’t think many woman would want to proceed any further after that. If your experience is otherwise, maybe the selection of women should change.
I've had a ton of male associates. We would do lunch, work on business goals, just chop it up. They primarily paid for lunch, but sometimes I would, especially if I picked the place. I kept everything straightforward - this, Is Not THAT!! But I grew up surrounded by guys. I'm the coolest woman to hang with. No manipulation at all, ever.
Fellas please don’t listen to the young light skin man. You absolutely should try to impress her if you ask her out. The goal shouldn’t be I’m not going to inquire about her likes and dislikes, inquiring shows your intentions. Really it goes both ways we should equally try to uncover and get to know one another deeply and otherwise. That response is a reflection of his youth.
Ryan expects women to give up the cookie for nothing or else it’s manipulation. We can’t even see what this man is about before we put ourselves at serious risks.
Him and the cohost taut themselves as nice men. So they believe if they treat you nice and tell you from the onset you/the female should be okay with his antics
He's told who he was a looooong time ago. I loved the podcast and was faithful to it until he kept saying a woman is basically cumbucket to him.. but nobody calls him out on it..
This was a great conversation. Most people that major in psych are not put together enough to functionally help others (anecdotal experience from knowing lots of psychs in the profession) but THESE folks have their minds on right and its wonderful to hear a solid conversation, solid points, and a sense of humor. It's actually extremely rare to find therapists normal like this.
This whole conversation I'm like "mmmm hmmm" cause they read my whole marriage which is why I'm divorcing...I was manipulated into the wrong type of love
A narcissist is a person who is constantly bad to you, yet turns it on you when bring it up or question it, oftentimes using the information you have given rhem about your life as a talk point in their shots at you. How do you handle.this behavior? This is how- when they make a claim about you, you immediately let them know that is NOT true and tell them they know it too. Then, move on to the next subject. Do not let a narcissist tell you who you are. Become a mirror and show them who they are, since they love looking at themselves so much. Show them themselves and walk away. It will eat them alive.
I've always had a lot of male friends in the friend zone and a lot of male suitors and couldve EASILY been a female sleezeball and used them but I've NEVER done that due to my conscience and I just COULD NOT BE EVEN A LITTLE AFFECTIONATE w/someone I "didn't look @ like that".
I finally gave this podcast a THUMBS UP! The Psychologist brothers were on business! I respect the lady psychologist for letting the men speak truthfully and honestly......
I definitely don’t friend zone, in fact I’m extremely intentional and let men know when I’m dating that I’m not looking for a friend. I’m dating with intention and want it to build into a relationship that we can grow in.
Hi...everyone. I enjoyed this segment. I am in the healing stage of dealing with a man who was very manipulative, After watching your segment I also believe he was a narcissistic, because of his childhood demons. I was in this relationship for over 10 years, I seen multiple red flags but I was in love due to his love-bombing. We was not looking for marriage we are both in our 60's with grown children and not interested in remarrying, just companionship. To make a long story short, last year on New Years Eve I decided to block him and move on without any notice. I had to do this for my emotional health that apparently this man did not give a damn about. I am currently getting to know my higher self and practicing self care, also learning about setting heathy boundaries. I am just saying this to let anyone know who is going through this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel...its about loving yourself and removing yourself from the situation.
Y’all speaking truth I could cry just change the scenario mine started in child hood and I’m 28 and I had a 11 year relation with my first it’s so much truth in this from the empath perspective
I enjoyed watching every 2:52.47 of this episode!!! It was very enlightening. I actually attended church services a few years ago at Antioch Church in Long Beach, CA. Dr. Tartt happened to be a guest speaker. He is the TRUTH!!!! Along with the other amazing panelists 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Thank You for the 💎 💎 💎 #NewSubscriberAsOfToday
Appreciate you all. Love to hear men speak about men. Enjoy learning without womens voices. Their voices are heard all day in and out from their pain body. Hearing men speak, even from their pain body give that 360 to me. Tks guys. ❤️ 🔥
Great conversation. I remember talking with someone once who was super successful, but the conversation was incredibly (and surprisingly) shallow. I was surprised because they’re a smart person, but our conversation never rose above the level of the superficial (ie money, looks, who we know, etc). Even when I tried to probe into deeper topics, it just fizzled. I eventually found out that they were a narcissist after some gaslighting and other concerning behaviors/revelations, but after I left that experience, I realized that one of the BIGGEST 🚩to watch for is shallowness AND a lack of self-reflection. I asked him to share what he learned from his string of failed relationships in the past, and his major takeaway was that he needed to get to know people better. I was like 😕… you’re the common denominator, sir. You need to get to know YOURSELF better.
I totally agree with this I was dealing with the same situation and he was extremely educated and handsome and successful but he also would say things like he had to get to know someone better that woman wasn’t as real and honest as him cause he doesn’t lie and etc
yes thanks for this conversation, show these men how to be humble and let their women help them and also women not to be too pushy with the help. I remember a story Barack Obama shared early on b4 he won, he was talking about a rally for him and he said he told Michelle soo many people showed up and he said that she said for you, that was soo funny and it shows his humility.
When she said you want to record a conversation with a narcissist. That touched my soul. Cause I swear I been down that road with having to record conversations just to prove to the person that they said what they said.
Wow about the cost benefit analysis.. I heard this all the time! I was that girl over helping with his papers and typing all his assignments and business stuff… geeze
Loving this, I definitely dated a couple of narcissists. And from this explanation and knowing my mother’s childhood. I know she’s a narcissist. And unfortunately, sounds like I was the empath in my relationships, and with my mother. All these relationships have been toxic for me.
Ryan is so animated with the friendzone conversation like bro , did a women you want friendzoned you or sum ? Aren't you the same guy that be having casual sex with women you know want a real commited relationship with you ?😂😂😂
Yo I love it 😂 that mean that woman stood on her principles, she didn't fold 🤣...he wanted that cat with nothing serious behind it and she said hell nah I don't get down like that i want something serious...that's a bad woman right there! Left that butt Salty bahahahaha 😂
ThIs was good! I know I am married to a man with covert narcissistic traits. I have been recording audio, video, calls, and journaling everything. Because (unfortunately) I had been with an abuser in my past, I recognized these things but questioned myself, almost like cognitive dissonance. It wasn't until he began to weaponize my past trauma, things I shared in being vulnerable, when I realized he was truly what I felt he was. People who love you will not weaponize your past experiences in an intentional attempt to shame or hurt you. That is emotional abuse. Leave. I know I am an empath and tend to attract this type of personality. I am currently in therapy to work on not only healing from my past traumas but the C-PTSD exacerbated by this man.
I'm an empath too and the emotional, gaslighting, verbal I've experienced has changed me forever. Hate that it happened because I used to be such a loving person. Like you. I suffer from C-'PTSD and what I told. R-PTSD as well because my PTSD isn't initially due to relationships. Sad way to be.. and I've never had a healthy relationship and probably won't..
Sorry you're going through it.. I need to go to therapy too. But I don't want to talk about everything. Maybe when my dad is dead so I can truly heal and not be triggered.
@@sinverrette9803 Try to find a way to release it. None of what happened to you was your fault. Go back and love on that little girl within and tell her she is safe. Then explore ways of releasing that pinned up energy from your body. It will literally make you sick. Scream it out, go break some dishes, take boxing classes, breath work, reiki healing, something. You have to release it. If you are creative, transmute that into your work. I send my love to you. It gets better. Healing is life long, and while you are growing through your pain, you have no idea who else you are helping through your own healing. Choose you❤
Hey fellas i love the show a lot with the subject matters addressed. I just have one suggestion is it possible that shoutouts for the members Have its own section of the show? Reason being is when the shoutout happens in the middle of a deep thought it dwindle the point made from the guest! Thanks and keep doing addressing these shows they are much needed!
Yes, I feel they're all over the place abit. Not focused on one issue within a subject matter. I know what i know being a qualified Person Centred Counsellor & they really should draw on her qualifications to clarify things professionally FIRST. The older guy, AGAIN, wasn't given the opportunity to share his professional experience & point of view, which is a shame.
Why would you want a man to stay with you in a marriage solely because of the children? People should want to be married because they want to be married to their partner, not because they are afraid of losing access to something (children, money, etc.). That would never work for me but to each their own! 1:30:08
Lord knows I would walk away from a convo confused like I was in the twilight zone. I felt crazy. Funny thing: A long time ago, I was writing things down so that I would feel sane. He found my notes and told me to get rid of them. He said, "Why are you holding onto things like that?" And that was way before I heard term gaslighting. Fast forward about two years ago, I started recording the convos instead because I thought I was having a breakdown, or I was crazy. I lf repeated something he said to me his response was that I didn't say that, like what is wrong with me. I'd show or replay what was said, and this man would still make up excuses like I didn't mean it that way, you are being sensitive, why are you writing things down or recording, you took it the wrong way, and the excuses went on. I'm now divorced after putting up with this for 30 years. Thank God I'm in a better space. The glow up was a bang to his little ego. I'm now a home owner, I'm a frequent air traveler, loving myself, which is the first ever, and just being alone. I have a good career. God is pouring his mercies and grace all over me.
One thing I have learned from this type of relationship is to stick to the point. I've had to keep reiterating and repeating the pint of Discussion while staying calm and level headed. 12 years taught me a lot
I totally disagree with this young lady about accepting things from men that you’re not interested in. It’s a hard no and don’t do it. It’s disrespectful. And it’s mean to him that’s no different than a guy saying I told her I don’t want a relationship and he still lays down with her knowing that’s what she wants. don’t take advantage of people man or woman
The guests did a great job. •LOVE BOMBING If everyone paid attention to words and actions AND intent over a period of time, that will tell you all you need to know about a person •REGARDING BEING FRIEND ZONED In the situation that Tysean described about the woman who said she’d get with him if she was single when she turned 30…I’d argue that he was manipulated. To mess with the friend of someone who rejected you in order to get a reaction displays how much power the rejector had over you. The pain caused to switch up and resort to action that you weren’t necessarily thinking about taking. I don’t think anyone should have that kind of power of you.
At one point I required that anything important he said to be texted to me and I started recording our conversations… yes it was for my safety and for my own sanity
So many things were said here that were incorrect. For example, some narcissists don’t start actually acting that way until you have had their child, gotten married, moved in, etc… I was single for 2 years, made my own money, had my own place, fitness routine, high self worth… Got in this relationship that was great for 3 years until I had his child and he started gaslighting, manipulating, cheating, screaming, critiquing, as well as the 4 stages of narcissistic abuse. So, it isn’t always a codependent low self worth woman that gets into relationships with narcissists. Alot of times, narcissists seek out high value and confident women.
And never been in a manipulative relationship before that, so it is not always a pattern. And I sure as hell won’t be in another one. So, again - not sure why you think it is always a female who constantly gets in relationships like this. The manipulator is great at making you think all is well for years before their true colors show. That is why they are manipulators.
Narcs can play a long game. They're very triggering. How was he when he became a father AND what has he been like since he became a father?@@RosesAndLilliesPlease
I was so naive! 30 years ago we didn’t have social media or cell phones and I had never heard of narcissism.. but I def fronted the money for most of our stuff thinking we’ll if we’re going to be married it’s going to be both of ours anyway… so bad… 🤦🏽♀️ He def said what my other boyfriends didn’t do and all he was to me and for me.
Personally I would describe a narcissistic person as someone who lacks compassion but is prioritiesing his own needs along the way constantly, not caring about anyones needs almost ever, aside of the moments when it benefits them. Kobe Brynt as "narcissistic in his professional field"....no way, that is a successful men that worked his ass off probably more then others in the same field, can't say for successful hardworking man a narc in his field, who would be number one if nobody wouldn't be that passionate. Some people are so driven and ambitious to give up their own needs to sleep to get where they at. It's way other thing if they ran over other people to be where they at. It's way deeper and it takes more information on one person to come to conclusions. Many women describe their men as "narc" but only from their point of view, nobody heard his side of the story 🤔. I am not always convinced in female objetivity myself, just saying.
Narcissists date and marry one another all the time. Even smart women with self-esteem run across narcissistic men. Dr Rahmani should have been on this! She explains it well and hits all the points. Life isn’t so black & white. But with through research you’d know that.😊
When a woman/man puts someone in a friend -zone but accepts favors, deeds, gifts in alignment with boyfriend/girlfriend privileges then say " I did not tell you to do those things"... the facts that you accepted knowing how much they like you IS a form of manipulation in and of itself. The real boundary is to NOT ACCEPT those favors etc from men/women that are in love with you.
I recognize it quickly, but it’s my intuition that tells me something is off. I listened to it. Ladies trust your intuition. If you sense red flags listen and trust it.
No my husband was definitely a narcissist, not just tendencies. He fit the description perfectly described in the book by Lundy Bancroft “Why does he do that?” He was every single one of the different ppl described.
Hello, algorithms are quite interesting. This YT channel popped up in my feed for the first time today. I started watching for just a few (so far will watch in entirety soon), and did a triple take. I went to high school with Dr. Yohance!! 👋🏽 Can't wait to hear the rest as this is such a powerful and even more current topic. Also, for the hosts, you may want to check the contact info you have listed for Dr. Yoha"n"ce in the description box. 👍🏽 PS the timing of this is ironic as I've been in recent prayer in LITERALLY the last 2 weeks about if & how I should tell someone that they minimally have narcissistic traits...🤔
Yes a narc is definitely a selfish, scorned mentally individual, I believe it stem from a childhood behavior that never got resolved so they create their own world and build themselves up to thinking that they are the best ever period.
The friendzone topic was…interesting cause I’ve been in a similar situation up front when I told my guy friend that I would NEVER be with him in any way outside of friends and gave him the choice to leave or stay. I don’t treat him any different from my friends, but a year in he still trying to be with me and it’s kinda annoying. He’s an amazing friend and I told him I’m not the woman for him and will never be (nicely obviously) but he still thinks there’s a chance 😬. I don’t do ANYTHING for him to think it could be more. We don’t even hug…so idk atp 🤷🏾♀️
I’m definitely that woman that’s a helpmate. Now I value me and I’m cautious to who allow in my space. I say this though even though I did a lot for my ex, I don’t regret it because 1, I did it to please The Most High and 2: it was done from the heart and with sincerity
What’s interesting to me is how MANipulation is missed during this episode. Men doing things for woman with hopes of getting COOCHIE is also manipulation! 🤷🏾♀️ Its just more accepted…. clearly demonstrated on this episode.
👉DATING CARDS: hi.hardlyinitiated.com/datingcards
It’s kind of contradictory to say that a narcissist ex admitted that to gaslighting. One of the behavior patterns of a narcissist is that they won’t admit fault on their own, and that they use gaslighting to convince you that they were never at fault. I can tell you what behavior of my narcissist ex led me to believe that I was being gaslighted though. Gaslighting is a real insidious way of manipulation- to make you believe that there is something wrong with you, that the actions/words of your narcissist weren’t really what they seemed to be. It makes you question your judgement, leading to you ignoring your instincts and senses. I swallowed all of her gaslighting for years, mostly because I wanted the relationship to work- like most people who have been the partner of a narcissist. I started realizing that something was wrong 6 months before I was discarded. It was actually this revelation that I had that led to the discard- once I started seeing through the illusion that she presented, I started to see all of her actions for what they really were, and I started to question her on everything and stood my ground on issues that I previously gave in on. We had gotten into a really bad argument. Tensions between us had been building for a few months. We had to move from our rental and find a new place to live within 2 months, in a town that was going through a surge in prices for rental properties. It was difficult finding a place to live that was within our budget, and still live in the town that had come to be our community. Between that and all of the normal logistics in moving cause a lot of minor arguments and stress between us- more than what was normal with her narcissistic and selfish behavior. We found a place, moved in and was in the process of bringing the final things over from the old place to the new place and cleaning the old place when we had gotten into an argument about something minor. All of the pent up tensions and resentment came out. During the argument, she was dismissive to me and told me that everything was my fault and if I didn’t like it then I could pack my shit and leave. I was so frustrated that I knocked her external computer monitor down (so she would face me and not continue to argue with her back turned to me). She got up and in my face and told me that I probably wanted to hit her. I said that I didn’t, I just wanted to discuss the issues. She said that if I wasn’t man enough to hit her she would give herself a black eye and call the police on me. I turned and left the room, because I knew the argument was escalating to a place that I didn’t;t want it to go. As I turned to leave the room, she jumped on me and started punching me. I told her if she was going to hit me, I would call the police. She started punching me again, so I left the room, went to the master bathroom and called the police. They came, interviewed both of us and arrested her for spousal battery. Afterwards she only blamed me for the incident and never, never acknowledged that she hit me. A week or so later, she asked me to write a letter to the DA requesting that the charges be dropped. I said that I would write a letter but that she would have to acknowledge her actions and to apologize to me first. She said that she was sorry that I felt that way. I told her that I wouldn’t write anything to the DA, and she stormed off, giving me the silent treatment for a couple of days. I knew what happened, and have a very clear recollection of the events. I’ve been punched before with closed fists, and I know what it feels like- and it doesn’t feel like a “shove”, what she insisted was what she did (her story was that she shoved me only after I shoved her, which was nonsense). I got a copy of the police report, and one of several reasons that they arrested her is because they found her knuckles red and swollen. I tried to move through this, but she kept trying to change the narrative of what happened when I was very clear on what happened. I felt crazy, but knew that I wasn’t. This led me to question everything else that she told me. Once I started realizing that most things she told me (when it came to disagreements or things that I had an issue with) were lies, and I believed the illusion that she created to trick me. That’s what the narcissist does- they present an illusion to you. Just like looking at an optical illusion, once you see that it is a trick of the eyes, you can’t look at it again without seeing the trick. Once I started seeing through her illusions, the house of cards that she built started to fall down and I slowly started to realize the type of person that she was, even though I didn’t want to believe it. I started enforcing my boundaries and that drove her crazy and caused more fights and gaslighting, which is what I believe led to her finally discarding me 6 months after her arrest. She never admitted to gaslighting me though. Even after confronting her with things from years previous that I realized she changed to make me the one at fault, she stays with her story. Even with indisputable proof, she stays with her version of events and says everyone else is wrong. Don’t expect any type of satisfaction or closure from a narcissist, because you won’t get any. You have to believe your judgment and instinct, and not tie your self-worth and self-esteem to anything that they say to you. Additionally, If you ever suspect your partner is cheating on you give it a try and remotely access their phone. I had to follow my instincts and get in touch with this private investigator Barryinvestigation@gmail. com who gave me unrestricted access my partner device.
Dr. Teezy!! Love Dr. Tart. He counseled me and husband recently. We were for SURE headed for divorce 3 years ago. Thanks to God first and Dr. Tart we made it to our 27th anniversary a week ago. This brother knows his profession inside out💪🏾. Love, love, love Dr. Tart💙
But ain’t Ryan being a hypocrite about the women that friendzone men while getting benefits? Don’t get me wrong I don’t agree with that behavior but if I’m not mistaken doesn’t Ryan do the same thing with the women that he “causally dates.” Hasn’t he expressed that he will tell a woman that he doesn’t want anything serious but will continue on even though he KNOWS the woman wants more? Is one really better than the other. Are both not being used? So, I’m confused as to how he feels soo angered and self righteous about what women do when he is also leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. Self-righteous behavior. I want to hear from a man with a pure heart speak on this matter, not someone who uses women as dumping grounds for their lust.
ABSOLUTELY!! I was so mad no one on the panel caught that and addressed it. He speaks against a lot of things in women that he himself does. It’s scary that he doesn’t see it…and be preaching at the camera like he giving solid advice. Just loud wrong and long winded.
Yeeeesss he annoyed the crap out of me with PSA moment 😂 Like sir you're not the expert here lol
😂😂😂!!!
Ouuuuuuuuu honey, that had my blood boiling. I tilted my head so far to the right with a face of disgust😒What Ryan does is a huge form of manipulation knowing those women yearn for more. He needs some serious healing🙏🏾
Boom
If you are too nice, too agreeable, a people pleaser, a non assertive person, not having boundaries, not speaking up againt unsavoury things, announce your vulnerabilities to people and a co dependent you will always fall into a relationship with a narcissist. Work on your issues as mentioned above, read about a narc and learn to discern and quickly bat a narc off and to cut a narc out your life.
Wow. You hit it on the head- you are exactly right!
Be more intentional. Have courage to trust yourself and not in others. People have their own issues so set Boundaries and Guard your heart ♥️ at all cost.
A narcissistic person wants to feel important. You can like them & show interest. They will then back off. They want to be chased. If you go on about your business & stop calling/texting, they will hoover just to get your attention again. If you take the bite...it will just be a continuous cycle. They will leave you feeling stupid & crazy. Just make sure you only feel it once. Don't let them play with your mind like that.
This is so true. The mind games a NARC plays is so mind blowing!
"ONCE"
You nailed this verbatim. That cycle is a MF! I was on a hamster wheel of a Super Narc and I actually had to move to get ease from the crazy! Police don't have narcissist in the law books.
Man... the shyt will change you.. even the one time.. preach.
That statement one vacation and 9 years is me oh my goodness! I've been with the guy going on 5 years and he had so many excuses until the end of last year, the beginning of this year for us to go on vacation, it was crazy!! It was a good vacation. Until we got to Puerto Rico. And that's a whole another story. Because I ended up leaving and standing in the middle of condado plaza.
It was so bad
I dated a narcissist off and on for years (not narcissistic traits but a real narcissist). His ego was so inflated, he was never wrong, he used me and others to his advantage, and truly lacked the ability to really care and empathize.
They will really make you feel like you’re going crazy. The level of delusion they create within the situation is insane, especially when you’re having sexual relations with them… it’s a level of manipulation and deception that can be detrimental to your soul. My advice is like the guy said, stay away from them. Once you realize what they are, trying to get them to see it let alone change is like fighting a battle that’s fixed for you to lose.
The truth is there are evil spirits operating in these types of people that can only be dealt with through deliverance.
I enjoyed talking about this topic. Thanks for having me.
💪🏾🔥🔥
you were great and informative good job
Is it possible for you to paste the link to the Ray J interview? Great discussion. Keep up the good work.
Amazing
Please when ever someone s sees this please contact me asap I need to be evaluated asap
Said with loving intention, for Ryan: You need to watch this episode again. You were in your own therapy session on Live towards the end. They handled you with care. However, it seemed like it went over your head or you just didn't want to admit it. Praying for your healing. A thought for some of your upcoming episodes with just the two of you: when you have a moment of healing or a personal epiphany circle back and discuss your evolution based on some of these discussions that you're having with these experts so that your subscribers and viewers have witness to your testimony and evolution. This will be a great opportunity and example of how evolution and growth really happens (real time). I think that is of great value to your audience. Thank you for what you're doing. I'm getting alot out of some of the episodes, for myself. What are your thoughts? I'd like to hear your feedback. Have a blessed day.
Wonderfully stated
I believe they will both get there in time. You can see a big difference in how they talk and the questions they are asking between recently released videos and just 6 months ago.
A narc with the personality disorder cant and wont change. They will actually use all this knowledge against you since master manipulation is their goal to serve their fragile ego. Very dangerous but sadly, true.
True. They lack emotional empathy. A relationship with a narc will never last as they devalue a partner. There are different levels/ranks of a narc. They have no filters, boundaries & drops narc bombs, do narc invasion & "pity me cards". A narc never changes & there's no such thing as a part time narc. They're pred@tors & takers. Some people make out that narcs are talented/gifted etc. A person is driven by their "narcissism" & may take them 2 the top but they may not sustain it as narcs look for residual benefits from others 2 sustain them - they need people/masses who show + give loyalty @@1love847
True. They lack emotional empathy. A relationship with a narc will never last as they devalue a partner. There are different levels/ranks of a narc. They have no filters, boundaries & drops narc bombs, do narc invasion & "pity me cards". A narc never changes & there's no such thing as a part time narc. They're pred@tors & takers. Some people make out that narcs are talented/gifted etc. A person is driven by their "narcissism" & may take them 2 the top but they may not sustain it as narcs look for residual benefits from others 2 sustain them - they need people/masses who show + give loyalty @1love847
This is really not about the narcissist and their antics. This is about hurt people roaming around the earth brought into life by folks who had no business creating children. Nothing can change "narcissists"...the pain is too deep. Let's change the future.
Starting with self
Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙌
I married a narcissist and I only lasted 6 months in the house with him. Him taking the keys, gaslighting me, and me recording conversations. I was sooo exhausted . I found myself just recently wanting to go back but I had to be real with myself. Going through with the divorce is a must.
You're describing my current husband of 5 years. I feel like a shell of myself. Taking keys, my ID, etc. Then losing things and blaming me. I could tell from this conversation to only speak of narcissists as being made from accomplishment lets me know none of them are experts in the field of dealing and treating true narcissists...
@@chinnjmif you want protection he has to have authority over you, there is no other way.
This was very informative for both single and married individuals. We have been married for 32 years and I am still his #1 fan and he makes it a point to take good care of me. Being 15 years my senior has never been an issue. We support one another in standing strong on our own two feet and being the best "me" we could be. We are better together!
Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow! I been had! I been took! I been hoodwinked! I been run a muck! Run a stray! Bamboozled! Oh team! Thank you for this insight! Thank you for all this value and knowledge team. Brings so much clarity to my life!
I really like the way Dr. Tartt deliver his messages. I enjoy listening to him Great live guys ❤
Y'all got it spot on. Narcissists choose victims that have the potential for success because they have vision and no implementation.
I know a few narcissists who are cheaters, liars , manipulators and definitely gas lighters, the thing is they actually struggle with acceptance, validation and communication.
They struggle with LOW self-esteem & the people they choose have something they want to leech on & leave their chosen person a shell of the person they met. #narcissist
NARCS are seasoned cheaters...lol!
This episode was explosive! All three guests brought expertise, prospective, truth and exposure to so many issues. Thank you guys for bringing great content to the world. May your endeavors continue to be blessed!
Agreed, the experts were honest and healthy, I appreciate their insight. Dr. Murray kept it all the way real.
This is good, the definition of the Narc is on point!! 🔥I dated a narcissistic in 2022, he gaslit me alot, oooh he really tried it, I was like Huh, he thought he had a good one, I was really hurt, but totally dodged that mess!! I'm still in healing and someday I'll open up again but not now, experience and gaining wisdom is everything!! Thank God!👐🏾🥰
They know what they are doing. I have gone through a lot with my husband. If I would tell you, it would blow your mind. He was driven by demonic forces. Now that he has come to Christ and we can talk about everything also on a spiritual level, he shares his thoughts with me and awareness of his behavior. He just did not care. He felt so much entitled and to get what you want or to confuse the other person, he would be very strategic about it. He was not aware about how evil his behavior was because he simply never looked at himself. Nothing was ever his fault so he rarely felt any guilt and if he did he could not bare to think he was a bad person or made a mistake. He would simply project all his feelings on to me.
That smirk only came on his face when he tried his best to break me or when he got what he wanted. If that failed he would think and come up with a different plan. And the gaslighting was wild. I have gone trough a lot and gained wisdom when the Holy Spirit opened my eyes and I let Him guide me.
My husband has gone trough a lot as a child and me too.
They feed of your emotions and know how to trigger you.
I needed to see this! Black people, male and female voices having a balanced and calm, psychological conversation. And I can sense how all of them are speaking in good faith. I didn't know how much I needes to witness this. I want more of this.
Thanks! It was honor to be on the show and to educate.
Like for real!!! Balanced and calm. Keywords. I need this too. My God I needed this!
Ryan didn’t hear anything the man said about friend zoning I think he missed the point. No one owes you any 🐈 because you hanging around. Just because you develop sexual attraction doesn’t mean that the other person is there yet
I Love how Ryan looks at the person(s) that is speaking. He's always so attentive. Great trait to have.
To RYAN,
People can walk and chew gum at the same time. Yohance Murray was on point. It’s very easy to cater to a woman’s preferences and express yours at the same time. In fact not inquiring about a woman’s interests on a first date is off putting. Don’t think many woman would want to proceed any further after that.
If your experience is otherwise, maybe the selection of women should change.
I've had a ton of male associates. We would do lunch, work on business goals, just chop it up. They primarily paid for lunch, but sometimes I would, especially if I picked the place. I kept everything straightforward - this, Is Not THAT!! But I grew up surrounded by guys. I'm the coolest woman to hang with. No manipulation at all, ever.
Fellas please don’t listen to the young light skin man. You absolutely should try to impress her if you ask her out. The goal shouldn’t be I’m not going to inquire about her likes and dislikes, inquiring shows your intentions. Really it goes both ways we should equally try to uncover and get to know one another deeply and otherwise. That response is a reflection of his youth.
Truth can not be manipulated.
I like seeing my kind on this level 🖤🖤. This was one of the best episodes and I love everyone's take and professionalism displayed
Ryan expects women to give up the cookie for nothing or else it’s manipulation. We can’t even see what this man is about before we put ourselves at serious risks.
So true. He needs to take his guests advice. Tysean is more receptive.
Him and the cohost taut themselves as nice men. So they believe if they treat you nice and tell you from the onset you/the female should be okay with his antics
His mentality is disgusting. If you're not a husband to that woman then her vagina does belong to you, Sir!!
He's told who he was a looooong time ago. I loved the podcast and was faithful to it until he kept saying a woman is basically cumbucket to him.. but nobody calls him out on it..
This was a great conversation. Most people that major in psych are not put together enough to functionally help others (anecdotal experience from knowing lots of psychs in the profession) but THESE folks have their minds on right and its wonderful to hear a solid conversation, solid points, and a sense of humor. It's actually extremely rare to find therapists normal like this.
This whole conversation I'm like "mmmm hmmm" cause they read my whole marriage which is why I'm divorcing...I was manipulated into the wrong type of love
Smh same here God is our help for real
A narcissist is a person who is constantly bad to you, yet turns it on you when bring it up or question it, oftentimes using the information you have given rhem about your life as a talk point in their shots at you. How do you handle.this behavior? This is how- when they make a claim about you, you immediately let them know that is NOT true and tell them they know it too. Then, move on to the next subject. Do not let a narcissist tell you who you are. Become a mirror and show them who they are, since they love looking at themselves so much. Show them themselves and walk away. It will eat them alive.
This is amazing advice period. I feel like this is what I did with my husband. When I finally was had it with him. I left for good.
I've always had a lot of male friends in the friend zone and a lot of male suitors and couldve EASILY been a female sleezeball and used them but I've NEVER done that due to my conscience and I just COULD NOT BE EVEN A LITTLE AFFECTIONATE w/someone I "didn't look @ like that".
I finally gave this podcast a THUMBS UP! The Psychologist brothers were on business! I respect the lady psychologist for letting the men speak truthfully and honestly......
I definitely don’t friend zone, in fact I’m extremely intentional and let men know when I’m dating that I’m not looking for a friend. I’m dating with intention and want it to build into a relationship that we can grow in.
Hi...everyone. I enjoyed this segment. I am in the healing stage of dealing with a man who was very manipulative, After watching your segment I also believe he was a narcissistic, because of his childhood demons. I was in this relationship for over 10 years, I seen multiple red flags but I was in love due to his love-bombing. We was not looking for marriage we are both in our 60's with grown children and not interested in remarrying, just companionship. To make a long story short, last year on New Years Eve I decided to block him and move on without any notice. I had to do this for my emotional health that apparently this man did not give a damn about. I am currently getting to know my higher self and practicing self care, also learning about setting heathy boundaries. I am just saying this to let anyone know who is going through this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel...its about loving yourself and removing yourself from the situation.
Dr. Tartt is so on point about learning your man so you know how to encourage him.
Good one! Everyone contributed great information. I appreciate the disagreements and presenting other perspectives.
Y’all speaking truth I could cry just change the scenario mine started in child hood and I’m 28 and I had a 11 year relation with my first it’s so much truth in this from the empath perspective
This is one of the best episodes EVER!!!!!! IT has addressed so many questions. 👏 👏 👏 × 1000
1:01:33 you are not entitled to receive sex from the women you’re “spending hours” of time with. That mindset is crazy to me.
I enjoyed watching every 2:52.47 of this episode!!! It was very enlightening. I actually attended church services a few years ago at Antioch Church in Long Beach, CA. Dr. Tartt happened to be a guest speaker. He is the TRUTH!!!! Along with the other amazing panelists 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Thank You for the 💎 💎 💎 #NewSubscriberAsOfToday
🎉🎉🎉 Welcome
Tysean and Ryan every time I watch your videos I'm amazed by the level of intricate questions you both ask
Appreciate you all. Love to hear men speak about men. Enjoy learning without womens voices. Their voices are heard all day in and out from their pain body. Hearing men speak, even from their pain body give that 360 to me. Tks guys. ❤️ 🔥
Being upfront and truthful about intentions is important.
U can still run into a narcissist 😉
Great conversation. I remember talking with someone once who was super successful, but the conversation was incredibly (and surprisingly) shallow. I was surprised because they’re a smart person, but our conversation never rose above the level of the superficial (ie money, looks, who we know, etc). Even when I tried to probe into deeper topics, it just fizzled. I eventually found out that they were a narcissist after some gaslighting and other concerning behaviors/revelations, but after I left that experience, I realized that one of the BIGGEST 🚩to watch for is shallowness AND a lack of self-reflection. I asked him to share what he learned from his string of failed relationships in the past, and his major takeaway was that he needed to get to know people better. I was like 😕… you’re the common denominator, sir. You need to get to know YOURSELF better.
I totally agree with this I was dealing with the same situation and he was extremely educated and handsome and successful but he also would say things like he had to get to know someone better that woman wasn’t as real and honest as him cause he doesn’t lie and etc
Facts 😂
Please continue to be a nice guy if that’s you, because there are nice women who match your reflection and will appreciate you.
yes thanks for this conversation, show these men how to be humble and let their women help them and also women not to be too pushy with the help. I remember a story Barack Obama shared early on b4 he won, he was talking about a rally for him and he said he told Michelle soo many people showed up and he said that she said for you, that was soo funny and it shows his humility.
When she said you want to record a conversation with a narcissist. That touched my soul. Cause I swear I been down that road with having to record conversations just to prove to the person that they said what they said.
Narcissists never take accountability ..simple.
Wow about the cost benefit analysis.. I heard this all the time! I was that girl over helping with his papers and typing all his assignments and business stuff… geeze
Loving this, I definitely dated a couple of narcissists. And from this explanation and knowing my mother’s childhood. I know she’s a narcissist. And unfortunately, sounds like I was the empath in my relationships, and with my mother. All these relationships have been toxic for me.
Ryan is so animated with the friendzone conversation like bro , did a women you want friendzoned you or sum ? Aren't you the same guy that be having casual sex with women you know want a real commited relationship with you ?😂😂😂
100%... wonder why yne comments calling him out aren't being liked by them. Just like he said narcissist are getting a bad rep..
Yo I love it 😂 that mean that woman stood on her principles, she didn't fold 🤣...he wanted that cat with nothing serious behind it and she said hell nah I don't get down like that i want something serious...that's a bad woman right there! Left that butt Salty bahahahaha 😂
ThIs was good! I know I am married to a man with covert narcissistic traits. I have been recording audio, video, calls, and journaling everything. Because (unfortunately) I had been with an abuser in my past, I recognized these things but questioned myself, almost like cognitive dissonance. It wasn't until he began to weaponize my past trauma, things I shared in being vulnerable, when I realized he was truly what I felt he was. People who love you will not weaponize your past experiences in an intentional attempt to shame or hurt you. That is emotional abuse. Leave. I know I am an empath and tend to attract this type of personality. I am currently in therapy to work on not only healing from my past traumas but the C-PTSD exacerbated by this man.
Please learn to keep all your vulnerabilities to yourself. They will always weaponize that AGAINST YOU.
I'm an empath too and the emotional, gaslighting, verbal I've experienced has changed me forever. Hate that it happened because I used to be such a loving person. Like you. I suffer from C-'PTSD and what I told. R-PTSD as well because my PTSD isn't initially due to relationships. Sad way to be.. and I've never had a healthy relationship and probably won't..
Sorry you're going through it.. I need to go to therapy too. But I don't want to talk about everything. Maybe when my dad is dead so I can truly heal and not be triggered.
@@sinverrette9803 Try to find a way to release it. None of what happened to you was your fault. Go back and love on that little girl within and tell her she is safe. Then explore ways of releasing that pinned up energy from your body. It will literally make you sick. Scream it out, go break some dishes, take boxing classes, breath work, reiki healing, something. You have to release it. If you are creative, transmute that into your work. I send my love to you. It gets better. Healing is life long, and while you are growing through your pain, you have no idea who else you are helping through your own healing. Choose you❤
Great panel of guests. The description of narcissism was extremely helpful! I would def watch these professionals again. 💜💜
Once you have told me that you don’t want to be married, committed, or become a stepdaddy you are in the friend zone.
Friend zone? More like the No Zone! No way you getting any more energy from me.
This discussion is demonstrating the wisdom in the generational differences. Young brothers listen up!
Hey fellas i love the show a lot with the subject matters addressed. I just have one suggestion is it possible that shoutouts for the members Have its own section of the show? Reason being is when the shoutout happens in the middle of a deep thought it dwindle the point made from the guest! Thanks and keep doing addressing these shows they are much needed!
Great suggestion. We’ll do that
Yes, I feel they're all over the place abit. Not focused on one issue within a subject matter. I know what i know being a qualified Person Centred Counsellor & they really should draw on her qualifications to clarify things professionally FIRST. The older guy, AGAIN, wasn't given the opportunity to share his professional experience & point of view, which is a shame.
Why would you want a man to stay with you in a marriage solely because of the children? People should want to be married because they want to be married to their partner, not because they are afraid of losing access to something (children, money, etc.). That would never work for me but to each their own! 1:30:08
Lord knows I would walk away from a convo confused like I was in the twilight zone. I felt crazy. Funny thing: A long time ago, I was writing things down so that I would feel sane. He found my notes and told me to get rid of them. He said, "Why are you holding onto things like that?" And that was way before I heard term gaslighting. Fast forward about two years ago, I started recording the convos instead because I thought I was having a breakdown, or I was crazy. I lf repeated something he said to me his response was that I didn't say that, like what is wrong with me. I'd show or replay what was said, and this man would still make up excuses like I didn't mean it that way, you are being sensitive, why are you writing things down or recording, you took it the wrong way, and the excuses went on. I'm now divorced after putting up with this for 30 years. Thank God I'm in a better space. The glow up was a bang to his little ego. I'm now a home owner, I'm a frequent air traveler, loving myself, which is the first ever, and just being alone. I have a good career. God is pouring his mercies and grace all over me.
Powerful answer...we think it's about us and not the other person!!! This is so good!
Out of all the podcast, I am liking this one the most. Been watching this one for a little while now.
💪🏾💪🏾
One thing I have learned from this type of relationship is to stick to the point. I've had to keep reiterating and repeating the pint of Discussion while staying calm and level headed. 12 years taught me a lot
❤
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS PODCAST. THANK YOU BROTHERS FOR ALL YOU DO!
Love you too, Meena!
I think I’m obsessed with this podcast now.
Great Show Keep up the great work. Awesome to see different guest telling us all about ourselves or about others.
I totally disagree with this young lady about accepting things from men that you’re not interested in. It’s a hard no and don’t do it. It’s disrespectful. And it’s mean to him that’s no different than a guy saying I told her I don’t want a relationship and he still lays down with her knowing that’s what she wants. don’t take advantage of people man or woman
The guests did a great job.
•LOVE BOMBING
If everyone paid attention to words and actions AND intent over a period of time, that will tell you all you need to know about a person
•REGARDING BEING FRIEND ZONED
In the situation that Tysean described about the woman who said she’d get with him if she was single when she turned 30…I’d argue that he was manipulated.
To mess with the friend of someone who rejected you in order to get a reaction displays how much power the rejector had over you. The pain caused to switch up and resort to action that you weren’t necessarily thinking about taking. I don’t think anyone should have that kind of power of you.
At one point I required that anything important he said to be texted to me and I started recording our conversations… yes it was for my safety and for my own sanity
This is deeper than I expected. If you're married to a narcissistic person, what do/did you do?
So many things were said here that were incorrect. For example, some narcissists don’t start actually acting that way until you have had their child, gotten married, moved in, etc… I was single for 2 years, made my own money, had my own place, fitness routine, high self worth… Got in this relationship that was great for 3 years until I had his child and he started gaslighting, manipulating, cheating, screaming, critiquing, as well as the 4 stages of narcissistic abuse. So, it isn’t always a codependent low self worth woman that gets into relationships with narcissists. Alot of times, narcissists seek out high value and confident women.
And never been in a manipulative relationship before that, so it is not always a pattern. And I sure as hell won’t be in another one. So, again - not sure why you think it is always a female who constantly gets in relationships like this. The manipulator is great at making you think all is well for years before their true colors show. That is why they are manipulators.
Narcs can play a long game. They're very triggering. How was he when he became a father AND what has he been like since he became a father?@@RosesAndLilliesPlease
I was so naive! 30 years ago we didn’t have social media or cell phones and I had never heard of narcissism.. but I def fronted the money for most of our stuff thinking we’ll if we’re going to be married it’s going to be both of ours anyway… so bad… 🤦🏽♀️
He def said what my other boyfriends didn’t do and all he was to me and for me.
These guests are droppin gems!!!!
A guy with insecurities will project his insecurities on a woman…. I definitely experienced that with him
I keep getting in these stupid narcissistic relationships. I am so sick of myself right now!
Personally I would describe a narcissistic person as someone who lacks compassion but is prioritiesing his own needs along the way constantly, not caring about anyones needs almost ever, aside of the moments when it benefits them. Kobe Brynt as "narcissistic in his professional field"....no way, that is a successful men that worked his ass off probably more then others in the same field, can't say for successful hardworking man a narc in his field, who would be number one if nobody wouldn't be that passionate. Some people are so driven and ambitious to give up their own needs to sleep to get where they at. It's way other thing if they ran over other people to be where they at. It's way deeper and it takes more information on one person to come to conclusions. Many women describe their men as "narc" but only from their point of view, nobody heard his side of the story 🤔. I am not always convinced in female objetivity myself, just saying.
Ya'll may be surprised it's plenty of us ladies in the Friendzone as well.😅
I really enjoyed this conversation! It was very enlightening!
If someone uses the words “ after all I do for you “ in an argument. Is this narcissistic?
No. That's just guilt tripping to make you do what it is they are asking or wanting you to do.
Just now watching this! I really enjoyed it !
Narcissists date and marry one another all the time. Even smart women with self-esteem run across narcissistic men. Dr Rahmani should have been on this! She explains it well and hits all the points. Life isn’t so black & white. But with through research you’d know that.😊
I feel you 2 are my favorite cousins❤❤❤to hang out with God bless. What a great interview thanks 🙏🏽
When a woman/man puts someone in a friend -zone but accepts favors, deeds, gifts in alignment with boyfriend/girlfriend privileges then say " I did not tell you to do those things"... the facts that you accepted knowing how much they like you IS a form of manipulation in and of itself. The real boundary is to NOT ACCEPT those favors etc from men/women that are in love with you.
I recognize it quickly, but it’s my intuition that tells me something is off. I listened to it. Ladies trust your intuition. If you sense red flags listen and trust it.
This convo is proof how much the community doesn't value accountability
No one talks about the heartbreak of a woman finding out a man pretended he was her friend but just wanted sex!
Into @ 5:30 now it makes sense, how can a person call you a narcissist when themselves is a narcissist 🤷🏽♀️
This was 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Really insightful and so many gems dropped.
No my husband was definitely a narcissist, not just tendencies. He fit the description perfectly described in the book by Lundy Bancroft “Why does he do that?” He was every single one of the different ppl described.
Hello, algorithms are quite interesting. This YT channel popped up in my feed for the first time today. I started watching for just a few (so far will watch in entirety soon), and did a triple take. I went to high school with Dr. Yohance!! 👋🏽 Can't wait to hear the rest as this is such a powerful and even more current topic. Also, for the hosts, you may want to check the contact info you have listed for Dr. Yoha"n"ce in the description box. 👍🏽
PS the timing of this is ironic as I've been in recent prayer in LITERALLY the last 2 weeks about if & how I should tell someone that they minimally have narcissistic traits...🤔
Excited you found us. Welcome to the family. Hit that subscribe button!
Yes a narc is definitely a selfish, scorned mentally individual, I believe it stem from a childhood behavior that never got resolved so they create their own world and build themselves up to thinking that they are the best ever period.
True narcissists don't care if you record them and play it back they still gonna disagree and argue and Blame you or anyone else
The friendzone topic was…interesting cause I’ve been in a similar situation up front when I told my guy friend that I would NEVER be with him in any way outside of friends and gave him the choice to leave or stay. I don’t treat him any different from my friends, but a year in he still trying to be with me and it’s kinda annoying. He’s an amazing friend and I told him I’m not the woman for him and will never be (nicely obviously) but he still thinks there’s a chance 😬. I don’t do ANYTHING for him to think it could be more. We don’t even hug…so idk atp 🤷🏾♀️
If you don't hug that's not your friend anyway
I’m definitely that woman that’s a helpmate. Now I value me and I’m cautious to who allow in my space. I say this though even though I did a lot for my ex, I don’t regret it because 1, I did it to please The Most High and 2: it was done from the heart and with sincerity
GAME❤ You are at 296K Subscribers! To God be the Glory! You are killing it!
Love this show!! Have learned soo much . Keep it up guys 🎉🎉
Great episode! Also feel like Ryan got a lot out of this one too. Keep up the fantastic work guys ❤
I keep it honest and 💯. Most people don’t won’t someone real. Want to stay on Fantasy Island not the real world.
It's a way to get the person to fall in love quicker and then flip the script when the person does.
GAME!!! You guys are killin it with guests.
I have to listen to this twice because in 2023, this lesson is important.
What’s interesting to me is how MANipulation is missed during this episode. Men doing things for woman with hopes of getting COOCHIE is also manipulation! 🤷🏾♀️ Its just more accepted…. clearly demonstrated on this episode.
Facts, if a person does something to make a person do something they want or force it then that’s definitely manipulation