Thank you to Aura for supporting me on my journey of wellbeing and inner peace! Get started with Aura today for free & the first 500 people to use my link will also get 25% off+ free trial to the Aura membership: www.aurahealth.io/drana
I’m very critical of my emotions despite being a semi-openly emotional person, to the point where my therapist has warned me that I am excessively cruel to myself. I just feel that I have no right to feel the way I do. I have that self talk of “Shut up. Stop crying. Get over it. You have no reason to cry. You’re exaggerating/you did this to yourself/you’re too old to be feeling this” and it stems from an abandonment wound I downplay, anxious attachment, and a childhood of an immigrant family who only have me harsh “stop its” when negative emotions would rise.
I felt exactly the same way during my Master's program, and many of my friends did too!!! It's exactly as you said, that kind of environment isn't sustainable, and while technically 4-6 years isn't forever, it really makes me wonder how much of our higher ed system is fostering resiliency and intellectualism (no pain, no gain) vs. causing unnecessary distress
@@No-ky3kb 4-6 years like university, masters, phd, etc. Higher Ed seems to have a toxic culture of being a masochist to the academic grind. I can see why that was a confusing statement, but hopefully this clarifies.
That's kind of a relief to hear! And I agree, a few years of your life may not seem long in the grand scheme of things and in the context of anticipated rewards, but any extended period of time spent in unsustainable environments is bound to take effect on the body.
@@AnaPsychology And what's concerning is while that environment may be temporary, their effects on the body may be permanent. We don't know all of them yet, but I believe there are plenty of studies to show a correlation between immune system functioning (for ex) and chronic sleep deprivation, which is common in high-stress workplaces and higher ed. So really, the question is, is subjecting yourself to this kind of environment for "a few years" worth the potential long term damage and is that equivalent to, less than, or greater than the rewards I derive from it? If you genuinely love medicine and helping people, then you're probably willing to grind through med school, but if you're just doing it to satisfy familial expectations, you probably won't make it, nor should you subject yourself to that environment.
While people are going through this process, I think it's good to remember not to intellectualize as a replacement for actually SOMATICALLY processing your feelings. Cognition can be a double-edged sword.
@kleekvishon9864 they're saying that an important part of the emotional process is to allow yourself to feel your emotions in your body. For example, if someone in your life dies, it may be a good idea to cry first before you try rationally solve your emotions.
I was in a really bad working environment at the start of this year. I had constant anxiety and felt underappreciated. I doubted my feelings initially. But they kept coming up one way or another. For example, my anxiety would make me avoid my coworkers, and I would find side projects outside work to feel fulfilled. When I tendered my resignation, it was one of the happiest moments of my life.
you know ana, over 1 year after watching this I think this was absolutely right. at the very least, extremely close to core for my present experiences and many past experiences from before and after I first watched this I'm glad to say I'm processing my emotions so much better, legitimately infinitely so, after so much: navigating year 13, embracing my creativity, starting relationship, ending the relationship, peeling back layers of my past manyfold, writing a weekly newsletter of my life for a year (and I had no goal to write for a year ! i wanted to write every week, and I forgot about any destination of any kind and just wrote ! and as things happened I loved to write to process what had happened!) and I can say that SOOOO MUCH HAS IMPROVED. emotions are informants, millions of smol ones waiting to tell you your truth, even if you might not understand them at first. i haven't watched your videos as much, no, but I have revisited a few as reference when they pop into my mind. thank you for doing what you do, and late congratulations on doctorhood
In real time I love the STOPP technique. It’s really helped me. S - Stop T - Take a deep breath (or 10) O - Observe. What is going on in the mind and body. Primary source data gathering. P - Put into perspective. Why is this coming up. What is happening or has happened that results in this emotion. P - Put into action. What are you going to do now and into the future to solve the problem.
Ever since I started journaling my emotions, writing them down objectively, I've been doing a lot better. It helps putting them on paper, and I often then throw the paper away because it's more of a daily exercise. I think I got the habit from the mindfulness book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels. It's so important to put a name to the emotion and get it on paper...something magical about it.
Thank you !!! I observed that any time someone tried to get close with me at a personal level and support me- that i would get anxious. This caused me to believe that i did not feel okay and needed to work harder in life to "be okay" so that i could be able to function well and accept support and closeness from others. I liked this idea of reframing or taking a step back and seeing that it could also be my bodys way of checking in with me letting me know that i havent been okay not allowing support and this was something i needed to lean into and allow. (Still working on how to do so) but again- that change of perspective. Ty!!!
Anxiety got worse for me during my masters a few years ago. I had a lot going on personally and deep down I knew I wasn’t on the right path, but I kept pushing through. I’ve been in working in the same field since, even though deep down I know it’s not for me. I’ve done lots of ‘healing’ work and therapy, however I’ not convinced I’ll ever feel better unless I listen to my gut & my body.
Loved this one! Personally I’ve always tried to view my occasional episodes of depression through this lens and I’ve always found it was because of a key thing (career, partner etc) being wrong in my life
Ana, feels like you just leveled up. Great observations, this part is the easiest but so important. The more challenging is when the setting cannot be changed much or must continue for a while, then it triggers certain emotions again and again. And if you feel a relief now its likely that some of it might come back when you start doing your carrier - the setting will come back, therefore to get a real relief you would need to find a source of your anxiety in the past, some old part of you is traumatized, maybe you were not accepted if not suceeding therefore anxiousness kicks in as a pressure to succeded to be accepted, or so, who knows. Then you will have another challenge to accept your part which had that trauma, you likely do not like it much. You will cry, and accept, and forgive yourself and the emotion won't be triggered so easily anymore. Done that many times, but its a real work, and everytime its a challenge. Good luck in knowing yourself even better. And congrats in finishing studies, we need more like you.
Loved this but quick tip @ 7:25 : you’re not entitled for expecting certain things 😅 you should expect kindness, always. That’s not wanting/feeling entitled to validation. It’s the bare minimum ❤ and people can trigger that rather you have self worth or not.
No one came to me to communicate things or check if I am okay when I been falsely accussed and projected on shame then dismissed whenever I wanted to talk about it. I am resentful of these people because they didn't allow me to express at all what was going on and i ended up not sleeping well for months, many days not at all. I am also feeling guilty for having anger towards these people. Not one of them but 3 wanted to manipulate me for casual sex which didn't work. And then when things got tough they didn't want to 'take sides' which I never asked for but instead left me for weeks and weeks and reappeared knowing I feel bad, to ask for sexual favours... one of them did this... other made it clear I am just an option he would not settle for in the vast open dating market . I am alone. It's been over a year and a half. These things still on my mind at times and I want to leave this city. It's tainted with bad memories and I see very unhealthy culture among young people here and online ._. When I tried to confront these people after a year they told me 'the world doesn't revolve around you'. When it really did actually? I been living abroad with no close relations and thought found friendship in a group that proved to be fake.
@@elisal98800I feel similar to you. Don't let it take a hold of you, that's what they want so they can dismiss you again as "crazy." I'm still trying to get through my anger. It took my sister till she was 23 to heal that part of herself. Time helps too
I've loved watching your videos since the pandemic, Ana! Congrats on completing your PhD! I kind of see it as: I often feel hungry until I eat (obvi) but I wouldn't call myself a hungry person because the hunger was just my body's cue to nourish myself, not a characteristic of me as a person (like being tall is; that is a fact that prompts no other action from me). Similarly, if I often feel anxious during a period of time, I know it's my body telling me that I am either physically or mentally stressed/uncomfortable/unable to cope with some circumstance/situation. So I know once the issue is resolved the anxiety will go away, just like the hunger. This helps me to not fixate on the anxiety in itself.
great video. i think i've been doing this sort of intuitively for a while now, so it's nice to see someone with knowledge of the field recommends this method as well. i find that becoming analytical about my emotions automatically allows me to distance myself from them, and to stop them from taking over my life and sense of self. once i started noticing patterns to these feelings, it became easier to think of them as temporary while i was experiencing them.
Lolllll you are not alone. I had panic attacks and highly disordered sleep while writing my dissertation. Literally the day after I turned it in I slept for 12 hours.
this has been my problem my whole life due to truama making me supress and not listen to my own emotions but this is really true…thanks for this insight its going to helpful for ppl like me who need to build a healthier relationship with our emotions
YES! Finally someone said that. It took me a lot of time to understand this, noone had ever told me that emotions exist for a reason. Hope this video goes viral or sth, I think people need to hear this idea.
This helped me so much. I've been feeling all these emotions and this really helped me to figure out why. There were things I wanted to change in my life but it was due to wounds of not being cared for and considered. Acknowledging that the people who didn't care for me did it not because I was inherently worthless but because they just wanted things from me and didn't really care about how I was doing. Made me realize I was just with messed up people and the best recourse was to walk away and limit interactions with them. Now I feel more calm and ready to take action on the things that have really been affecting my life. Thank you so much for this! ❤
I'm smiling listening to you talk about the relief you felt after graduating. It must have been a lot of hard work, to say the least. Thank you for sharing and giving some perspective.
i almost burst into tears it's so hope-giving fact that the person i've been watching for months had the state i have right now, and feeling not-ok is absolutely normal i also feel nervous when trying to relax, but i have a different background for it. unluckuly, i came across this video when i had already figured out the real reason: the constant fear. being a teenager, i live with my parents, and i don't feel basely safe when atmosphere can change literally in one finger snap and i also felt i would have to live in this state for ages, but now i understand i could try to fight the anxiety and win thank you, Ana❤️ thank you very much😌
Ma bucur ca youtube-ul a inceput sa imi recomande iar clipurile tale❤ Trec printr-o perioada mai ciudata si clipurile tale de self help ajuta foarte mult
tkx for your channel. "Emotions are entities" felt such a new idea to me that I googled it. I got results for the Green Lantern, plus academic papers I won't read. I'd be delighted to hear you explaining a little more what you meant.
I picked the word entities because emotions are like people we have relationships with, and yet of course they’re not people. Maybe there was a better word I didn’t land on, but I still can’t think of it. Phenomena, maybe?
Thank you, this video helped me to relax. I haven’t relaxed in a very long time. I mean this when I say Thank you, I really do! I say it with my hand on your shoulder my other hand on my face while having one knee on the ground.
You saying this (I think you said this in another video too) has helped my anxiety more than anything. I was anxious because of things, it wasn’t just something wrong with me
I know why I’m anxious so mostly I just deal every day with not being able to get myself to change/do what I need to do so it goes away. It does help to know though to at least know that you decided that. I was looking forward to the end of college and decided against grad school bc I knew being in school was exacerbating everything.
Thank you so much for this video Ana 🙏 I'm sorry you had to overcome such hardships during grad school, but I'm even more glad to know that now not only you have achieved something important, but can also go through your days peacefully. Hearing how you understood what your anxiety was trying to tell you back then was, as you always say, "food for thought". I myself find quite difficult to understand if my emotions stem out of something related to my interiority or if they're just signlas that a situation I'm in is damaging me. The practice you've described will surely be helpful 🙇♂
13:17 note, good chance if you decide to stay it will get away for like 90%. If you identity, and actively decide to stay, you probably will accept your situation.
7:00 when the narcissist is angry over and over. not an angry person but missing the entitlement by others that they cant get out of themselves but need from others.
As far back as 3rd grade my family said why are you a people pleaser, like I was disgusting thing and I had no idea what I even was, improper mirroring is hurtful to children.
Great great video, love the way you explain stuff and how you use examples in your life to illustrate what's going on. Don't think i've learned to "listen to my emotions" on a single video but it's definitely nice to hear
I have questions about this. When it comes to anxiety and it appears to be telling me "You feel unsafe at this party/parties in general", is that a message that I should change my lifestyle and stop going to parties? Or is it a message that I should work on my fear regarding social interaction? I ask because this perspective seems to go against traditional exposure therapy. How does this not become avoidance? I understand that it is perhaps a misconception to think that our emotions are misfiring, but I thought that that's what anxiety is. The perception of fear when there is no realistic threat. It is irrational by nature. Therefore, if I were to listen to it, I fear I would stop doing a lot of things that I need to learn how to do, such as social interaction, for example.
Heyy, I'll try to give ideas about what I would do/my thought process in your situation: 1. When exactly am I feeling this emotion(anxiety)? 2. Is it anxiety mixed with other emotions: identify them- guilt/shame/vulnerability 3. Is my presence at certain spaces anxiety inducing because I feel like I should be there when in reality I don't care enough to be here/want to do something else 4. Your social circle/friends are not in alignment with you values/who you think you are/want to be (identity conflict). Or you have friends who are not as close to you as you want them to be (disconnection from others around emotionally or otherwise) 5. They subconsciously make you feel the need to one up each other which you might not be comfortable with/is tiring you 6. Other things like past experiences trigger your need to hide. Maybe you hate to have to put up a performance? 7. What aspects do you like the most/hate the most of the parties? Find other ways to engage socially that have the aspects you like with as little of the aspects you dislike. 8. You lack confidence, which can be improved by proving to yourself through action that you are capable of doing the things you want. I think a bit of exposure therapy plus supportive friends might help here.
Too many try to hold other people responsible for the nasty emotions that they feel (shame, guilt, anger, etc), instead of actually dealing with them on their own.
I've seen so many videos of you and just realized I haven't subscribed yet! Time to change that. :) My favourite channel helping with self-exploration!
What do you think about the Theory of constructed emotion? In the book, How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett it talks about how emotions are predictions based on how we responded before to similar situations.
what if i already know what my emotions are and why they're there, why i feel anger towards my family, but i don't know what to do about it, how to deal with it, since the family won't change their dysfunctional ways?
Have you found the more esoteric knowledge you hold (witchcraft) etc. To be more useful to you in your life than conventional wisdom? Can you or have you done a video on this in the past?
6:55 usually, how this generally works, have been through this a couple of times, and likely if you read philosophy you will see that. -At first try to identify why you identify with this diagnosis -Then reason how you don’t You need to first accept yourself, see what you are doing right and wrong, and then make adjustments accordingly
Hey, just wondering. In reflection, do you think grad school was worth it. If so: why/why not. Would you do it again looking back, and would you get yourself set on a goal like that in the future?
Dr. Ana, what do you think of the biblical phrase, “the heart is deceitful above all things”? Because I don’t think it has to contradict what you might be saying here…
''The sensitivity that occurs in nervous weakness should not be confused with conscience.'' More details are in Alpein Cameo's book Flawless Things. I hope you're smart enough to find it. Otherwise, you don't need to read the book.
I've tried all the modalities and finally found a a major physiological link to my hell. But I still hate myself often (comfortably and functionally now) and the CBT techniques I've tried just kind of make me feel queasy. Pretty uncomfortable. Not sure if that's a normal reaction because it makes me want to give up on it
So what do you do when you know why you feel a certain way but theres nothing you can possibly do about it and validating why you feel it doesnt help at all
So don't identify with feelings, but definitely do give preference to the super ego? If you insist on doing that graduating would be a great relief I guess?
Hi. Love the video. I have a question. I heard emotional reasoning is usually a cognitive distortion. So is listening to emotions is also a cognitive distortion?
Definitely not a doctor or anything but here's what I've come to understand is 15+ years of therapy. Emotional thinking can lead to cognitive distortions but so can logical thinking. The solution isn't to not listen to them but finding the healthy balance in between. DBT calls that middle ground rational thinking. So it's rational to listen to your emotions while considering them logically as well as make logical decisions while considering the emotional impact but too far in either direction can lead to cognitive distortion. It's also worth noting some things on balance. Balancing isn't static, you have to be able to sway a bit as needed. Flexibility is key with any kind of balance. I like the analogy of how very hardwood trees might be bigger and denser than softwood trees, but softwood are more flexible and that makes them far less likely to break during a storm. My favorite pose in yoga is tree pose because it reminds of that - If I'm too tensed up about being in perfect balance then I will lose that balance quickly but engaging my muscles with a more relaxed mind keeps me flexible enough to stay in the pose longer. I'm also far less likely to get injured when balance is lost because I'm relaxed enough to catch myself rather than getting panicked. Sorry for the novel, I'm not very concise 😅 Hopefully it was worth the read.
Emotional reasoning, in the example I gave of someone who is chronically angry, would be like thinking: "I feel angry, therefore the person I'm talking to did something to anger me." Whereas being curious about the emotion would get you closer to the real reason behind your anger, which is that you feel people are mistreating you because you experience low self-worth/entitlement. Our emotions don't always fit the facts of the situation (e.g., you might feel angry even though no injustice occurred against you), but even then, they contain important messages to decipher. Emotional reasoning is like saying “I feel [this] so [this] is true,” while listening to your emotions is like saying “I feel [this]. Let me look into why that is.” Hope that helps :)
I don't mean to pry but one thing I've noticed about this video you're trying to hold back tears and I don't know if the topic triggered something emotional in your past but I'm just genuinely curious about I hope you're okay and I enjoy your videos because they are very insightful and helpful so thank you for all your knowledge
Leaving god? Yeah, it was the most effective thing I've ever did. My OCD dropped from a 10 to a 3 in a single instant. Every day I'm grateful that I had the courage to leave the abusive cult that is Christianity, and the abusive imaginary relationship with it's narcissistic god.
@@No-ky3kb well it's good that you got better the road to God was always narrow but I think it would be worth it I'm going to still stick with my belief Christ is 👑
Thank you to Aura for supporting me on my journey of wellbeing and inner peace! Get started with Aura today for free & the first 500 people to use my link will also get 25% off+ free trial to the Aura membership: www.aurahealth.io/drana
Thanks dear 💫🧸
I’m very critical of my emotions despite being a semi-openly emotional person, to the point where my therapist has warned me that I am excessively cruel to myself. I just feel that I have no right to feel the way I do. I have that self talk of “Shut up. Stop crying. Get over it. You have no reason to cry. You’re exaggerating/you did this to yourself/you’re too old to be feeling this” and it stems from an abandonment wound I downplay, anxious attachment, and a childhood of an immigrant family who only have me harsh “stop its” when negative emotions would rise.
I'm working through similar things, hang in there! It gets better with time and practice xx
"it was my mind and body trying to cope with an overwhelming situation"
Its odd (but refreshing) to hear a therapist talk about their own issues and how they handled them.
I felt exactly the same way during my Master's program, and many of my friends did too!!! It's exactly as you said, that kind of environment isn't sustainable, and while technically 4-6 years isn't forever, it really makes me wonder how much of our higher ed system is fostering resiliency and intellectualism (no pain, no gain) vs. causing unnecessary distress
That's a long masters program...
@@No-ky3kb 4-6 years like university, masters, phd, etc. Higher Ed seems to have a toxic culture of being a masochist to the academic grind. I can see why that was a confusing statement, but hopefully this clarifies.
That's kind of a relief to hear! And I agree, a few years of your life may not seem long in the grand scheme of things and in the context of anticipated rewards, but any extended period of time spent in unsustainable environments is bound to take effect on the body.
@@AnaPsychology And what's concerning is while that environment may be temporary, their effects on the body may be permanent. We don't know all of them yet, but I believe there are plenty of studies to show a correlation between immune system functioning (for ex) and chronic sleep deprivation, which is common in high-stress workplaces and higher ed. So really, the question is, is subjecting yourself to this kind of environment for "a few years" worth the potential long term damage and is that equivalent to, less than, or greater than the rewards I derive from it? If you genuinely love medicine and helping people, then you're probably willing to grind through med school, but if you're just doing it to satisfy familial expectations, you probably won't make it, nor should you subject yourself to that environment.
While people are going through this process, I think it's good to remember not to intellectualize as a replacement for actually SOMATICALLY processing your feelings. Cognition can be a double-edged sword.
true
Great note!
@kleekvishon9864 they're saying that an important part of the emotional process is to allow yourself to feel your emotions in your body. For example, if someone in your life dies, it may be a good idea to cry first before you try rationally solve your emotions.
I was in a really bad working environment at the start of this year. I had constant anxiety and felt underappreciated. I doubted my feelings initially. But they kept coming up one way or another. For example, my anxiety would make me avoid my coworkers, and I would find side projects outside work to feel fulfilled. When I tendered my resignation, it was one of the happiest moments of my life.
Congratulations!
you know ana, over 1 year after watching this I think this was absolutely right. at the very least, extremely close to core for my present experiences and many past experiences from before and after I first watched this
I'm glad to say I'm processing my emotions so much better, legitimately infinitely so, after so much: navigating year 13, embracing my creativity, starting relationship, ending the relationship, peeling back layers of my past manyfold, writing a weekly newsletter of my life for a year (and I had no goal to write for a year ! i wanted to write every week, and I forgot about any destination of any kind and just wrote ! and as things happened I loved to write to process what had happened!) and I can say that SOOOO MUCH HAS IMPROVED.
emotions are informants, millions of smol ones waiting to tell you your truth, even if you might not understand them at first.
i haven't watched your videos as much, no, but I have revisited a few as reference when they pop into my mind. thank you for doing what you do, and late congratulations on doctorhood
In real time I love the STOPP technique. It’s really helped me.
S - Stop
T - Take a deep breath (or 10)
O - Observe. What is going on in the mind and body. Primary source data gathering.
P - Put into perspective. Why is this coming up. What is happening or has happened that results in this emotion.
P - Put into action. What are you going to do now and into the future to solve the problem.
Ever since I started journaling my emotions, writing them down objectively, I've been doing a lot better. It helps putting them on paper, and I often then throw the paper away because it's more of a daily exercise. I think I got the habit from the mindfulness book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels. It's so important to put a name to the emotion and get it on paper...something magical about it.
Thank you !!! I observed that any time someone tried to get close with me at a personal level and support me- that i would get anxious. This caused me to believe that i did not feel okay and needed to work harder in life to "be okay" so that i could be able to function well and accept support and closeness from others. I liked this idea of reframing or taking a step back and seeing that it could also be my bodys way of checking in with me letting me know that i havent been okay not allowing support and this was something i needed to lean into and allow. (Still working on how to do so) but again- that change of perspective. Ty!!!
Wow, thanks for sharing! Glad you were able to recognize that :)
Anxiety got worse for me during my masters a few years ago. I had a lot going on personally and deep down I knew I wasn’t on the right path, but I kept pushing through.
I’ve been in working in the same field since, even though deep down I know it’s not for me. I’ve done lots of ‘healing’ work and therapy, however I’ not convinced I’ll ever feel better unless I listen to my gut & my body.
Loved this one! Personally I’ve always tried to view my occasional episodes of depression through this lens and I’ve always found it was because of a key thing (career, partner etc) being wrong in my life
GG alin followed his emotions, now get a job and stop talking shit in mass media, that's not the content im waiting for
Ana, feels like you just leveled up. Great observations, this part is the easiest but so important.
The more challenging is when the setting cannot be changed much or must continue for a while, then it triggers certain emotions again and again. And if you feel a relief now its likely that some of it might come back when you start doing your carrier - the setting will come back, therefore to get a real relief you would need to find a source of your anxiety in the past, some old part of you is traumatized, maybe you were not accepted if not suceeding therefore anxiousness kicks in as a pressure to succeded to be accepted, or so, who knows. Then you will have another challenge to accept your part which had that trauma, you likely do not like it much. You will cry, and accept, and forgive yourself and the emotion won't be triggered so easily anymore. Done that many times, but its a real work, and everytime its a challenge.
Good luck in knowing yourself even better. And congrats in finishing studies, we need more like you.
Loved this but quick tip @ 7:25 : you’re not entitled for expecting certain things 😅 you should expect kindness, always. That’s not wanting/feeling entitled to validation. It’s the bare minimum ❤ and people can trigger that rather you have self worth or not.
No one came to me to communicate things or check if I am okay when I been falsely accussed and projected on shame then dismissed whenever I wanted to talk about it. I am resentful of these people because they didn't allow me to express at all what was going on and i ended up not sleeping well for months, many days not at all. I am also feeling guilty for having anger towards these people. Not one of them but 3 wanted to manipulate me for casual sex which didn't work. And then when things got tough they didn't want to 'take sides' which I never asked for but instead left me for weeks and weeks and reappeared knowing I feel bad, to ask for sexual favours... one of them did this... other made it clear I am just an option he would not settle for in the vast open dating market .
I am alone. It's been over a year and a half. These things still on my mind at times and I want to leave this city. It's tainted with bad memories and I see very unhealthy culture among young people here and online ._. When I tried to confront these people after a year they told me 'the world doesn't revolve around you'. When it really did actually? I been living abroad with no close relations and thought found friendship in a group that proved to be fake.
@@elisal98800I feel similar to you. Don't let it take a hold of you, that's what they want so they can dismiss you again as "crazy." I'm still trying to get through my anger. It took my sister till she was 23 to heal that part of herself. Time helps too
I've loved watching your videos since the pandemic, Ana! Congrats on completing your PhD!
I kind of see it as: I often feel hungry until I eat (obvi) but I wouldn't call myself a hungry person because the hunger was just my body's cue to nourish myself, not a characteristic of me as a person (like being tall is; that is a fact that prompts no other action from me).
Similarly, if I often feel anxious during a period of time, I know it's my body telling me that I am either physically or mentally stressed/uncomfortable/unable to cope with some circumstance/situation.
So I know once the issue is resolved the anxiety will go away, just like the hunger. This helps me to not fixate on the anxiety in itself.
great video. i think i've been doing this sort of intuitively for a while now, so it's nice to see someone with knowledge of the field recommends this method as well. i find that becoming analytical about my emotions automatically allows me to distance myself from them, and to stop them from taking over my life and sense of self. once i started noticing patterns to these feelings, it became easier to think of them as temporary while i was experiencing them.
Lolllll you are not alone. I had panic attacks and highly disordered sleep while writing my dissertation. Literally the day after I turned it in I slept for 12 hours.
Congratulations, Dr. Ana💯🙏🏾
this has been my problem my whole life due to truama making me supress and not listen to my own emotions but this is really true…thanks for this insight its going to helpful for ppl like me who need to build a healthier relationship with our emotions
YES! Finally someone said that. It took me a lot of time to understand this, noone had ever told me that emotions exist for a reason. Hope this video goes viral or sth, I think people need to hear this idea.
This helped me so much. I've been feeling all these emotions and this really helped me to figure out why. There were things I wanted to change in my life but it was due to wounds of not being cared for and considered. Acknowledging that the people who didn't care for me did it not because I was inherently worthless but because they just wanted things from me and didn't really care about how I was doing. Made me realize I was just with messed up people and the best recourse was to walk away and limit interactions with them. Now I feel more calm and ready to take action on the things that have really been affecting my life. Thank you so much for this! ❤
I'm smiling listening to you talk about the relief you felt after graduating. It must have been a lot of hard work, to say the least. Thank you for sharing and giving some perspective.
i almost burst into tears
it's so hope-giving fact that the person i've been watching for months had the state i have right now, and feeling not-ok is absolutely normal
i also feel nervous when trying to relax, but i have a different background for it. unluckuly, i came across this video when i had already figured out the real reason: the constant fear. being a teenager, i live with my parents, and i don't feel basely safe when atmosphere can change literally in one finger snap
and i also felt i would have to live in this state for ages, but now i understand i could try to fight the anxiety and win
thank you, Ana❤️ thank you very much😌
Ma bucur ca youtube-ul a inceput sa imi recomande iar clipurile tale❤ Trec printr-o perioada mai ciudata si clipurile tale de self help ajuta foarte mult
tkx for your channel. "Emotions are entities" felt such a new idea to me that I googled it. I got results for the Green Lantern, plus academic papers I won't read. I'd be delighted to hear you explaining a little more what you meant.
I picked the word entities because emotions are like people we have relationships with, and yet of course they’re not people. Maybe there was a better word I didn’t land on, but I still can’t think of it. Phenomena, maybe?
HUGE congratulations, Dr. Ana!!! Extremely excited for you and happy you're back!!! #WellDone 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you, this video helped me to relax. I haven’t relaxed in a very long time. I mean this when I say Thank you, I really do! I say it with my hand on your shoulder my other hand on my face while having one knee on the ground.
You saying this (I think you said this in another video too) has helped my anxiety more than anything. I was anxious because of things, it wasn’t just something wrong with me
Welcome back! So glad to have you here as a resource and guide on TH-cam :) for free!! 🙏🏼
I know why I’m anxious so mostly I just deal every day with not being able to get myself to change/do what I need to do so it goes away. It does help to know though to at least know that you decided that. I was looking forward to the end of college and decided against grad school bc I knew being in school was exacerbating everything.
Thank you so much for this video Ana 🙏 I'm sorry you had to overcome such hardships during grad school, but I'm even more glad to know that now not only you have achieved something important, but can also go through your days peacefully. Hearing how you understood what your anxiety was trying to tell you back then was, as you always say, "food for thought". I myself find quite difficult to understand if my emotions stem out of something related to my interiority or if they're just signlas that a situation I'm in is damaging me. The practice you've described will surely be helpful 🙇♂
13:17 note, good chance if you decide to stay it will get away for like 90%. If you identity, and actively decide to stay, you probably will accept your situation.
This also happened to me this year! Lots of big picture changes have been the sole reason I now feel way better
7:00 when the narcissist is angry over and over. not an angry person but missing the entitlement by others that they cant get out of themselves but need from others.
Most valuable psychology vid I’ve ever seen
As far back as 3rd grade my family said why are you a people pleaser, like I was disgusting thing and I had no idea what I even was, improper mirroring is hurtful to children.
I still don't know what I am and that is okay with me.
I also have anxiety this is very helpful
Your personal story was very insightful, thank you
I might give Aura a shot. Headspace is turning into a podcast app
Dr. Ana can you PLEASE drop that skincare routine?
10:12
Envy & Jealousy
Congratulations Dr. Ana!!
glad you are back! I loved the video and your content in general. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!
I adore your content so much! Love that deep purple on you! Makes your skin pop 💜
This is preciousness!!
such an informative video! purple looks amazing on you btw
youtube has a chip in my brain and knows what i need
Great great video, love the way you explain stuff and how you use examples in your life to illustrate what's going on. Don't think i've learned to "listen to my emotions" on a single video but it's definitely nice to hear
Off topic, but I love you eyes! I don't know if that's your real eye color but it suits you beautifully! :)
I have questions about this. When it comes to anxiety and it appears to be telling me "You feel unsafe at this party/parties in general", is that a message that I should change my lifestyle and stop going to parties? Or is it a message that I should work on my fear regarding social interaction?
I ask because this perspective seems to go against traditional exposure therapy. How does this not become avoidance? I understand that it is perhaps a misconception to think that our emotions are misfiring, but I thought that that's what anxiety is. The perception of fear when there is no realistic threat. It is irrational by nature. Therefore, if I were to listen to it, I fear I would stop doing a lot of things that I need to learn how to do, such as social interaction, for example.
Heyy, I'll try to give ideas about what I would do/my thought process in your situation:
1. When exactly am I feeling this emotion(anxiety)?
2. Is it anxiety mixed with other emotions: identify them- guilt/shame/vulnerability
3. Is my presence at certain spaces anxiety inducing because I feel like I should be there when in reality I don't care enough to be here/want to do something else
4. Your social circle/friends are not in alignment with you values/who you think you are/want to be (identity conflict). Or you have friends who are not as close to you as you want them to be (disconnection from others around emotionally or otherwise)
5. They subconsciously make you feel the need to one up each other which you might not be comfortable with/is tiring you
6. Other things like past experiences trigger your need to hide. Maybe you hate to have to put up a performance?
7. What aspects do you like the most/hate the most of the parties? Find other ways to engage socially that have the aspects you like with as little of the aspects you dislike.
8. You lack confidence, which can be improved by proving to yourself through action that you are capable of doing the things you want. I think a bit of exposure therapy plus supportive friends might help here.
Too many try to hold other people responsible for the nasty emotions that they feel (shame, guilt, anger, etc), instead of actually dealing with them on their own.
I've seen so many videos of you and just realized I haven't subscribed yet! Time to change that. :) My favourite channel helping with self-exploration!
Mam you are never not an entrantress. Thats right a double negative... glad you do you. Keep on. Glory be
Love your videos and seeing your knowledge grow, and I love learning it with you
the eyes are scaring me babes
Congrats Dr. Ana! Thank you for this video.
What do you think about the Theory of constructed emotion?
In the book, How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett it talks about how emotions are predictions based on how we responded before to similar situations.
bump, please address this @AnaPsychology
Will you be releasing an updated self-care routine? I tried searching for your recent one to recall some tips but couldn't find it. Thank you Dr. Ana!
cool!
Thank you!
what if i already know what my emotions are and why they're there, why i feel anger towards my family, but i don't know what to do about it, how to deal with it, since the family won't change their dysfunctional ways?
I hope you make a video someday explaining narcissism 🌸
Dr. Ana ❤❤❤
I really like this approach! Some good similarities to ACT
that was super helpful, thank you!
Love your work ❤
you look gorgeous with these lenses Ana ❤
Great video!
Have you found the more esoteric knowledge you hold (witchcraft) etc. To be more useful to you in your life than conventional wisdom? Can you or have you done a video on this in the past?
I never noticed how beautiful your eyes are.
contacts
6:55 usually, how this generally works, have been through this a couple of times, and likely if you read philosophy you will see that.
-At first try to identify why you identify with this diagnosis
-Then reason how you don’t
You need to first accept yourself, see what you are doing right and wrong, and then make adjustments accordingly
I love your videos, thank you 🙏🏽
Your videos are always so helpful, thank you! Random question - what is the lipstick you are wearing? I've wanted to find a shade like this forever! ❤
I believe it's a Nyx matte lipstick, I've had it forever!
Thank you, I wish you a pleasant day!
Thank you.
Hey, just wondering. In reflection, do you think grad school was worth it. If so: why/why not. Would you do it again looking back, and would you get yourself set on a goal like that in the future?
For me, I do think it was worth it. I think even very difficult experiences bring important lessons and rewards
How would you suggest working through feelings for another person?
Dr. Ana, what do you think of the biblical phrase, “the heart is deceitful above all things”? Because I don’t think it has to contradict what you might be saying here…
''The sensitivity that occurs in nervous weakness should not be confused with conscience.'' More details are in Alpein Cameo's book Flawless Things. I hope you're smart enough to find it. Otherwise, you don't need to read the book.
I've tried all the modalities and finally found a a major physiological link to my hell. But I still hate myself often (comfortably and functionally now) and the CBT techniques I've tried just kind of make me feel queasy. Pretty uncomfortable. Not sure if that's a normal reaction because it makes me want to give up on it
Hey, dr. Ana, about Aurahealth, the hipnosys are psychotherapeutic? Like, doing hipnotic psychotherapy?
Hello, can you make a video about the emotion of contempt, please? Is it linked to depression?
So what do you do when you know why you feel a certain way but theres nothing you can possibly do about it and validating why you feel it doesnt help at all
They certainly can send a message alright especially when hormones are not balanced
Thank you
So don't identify with feelings, but definitely do give preference to the super ego?
If you insist on doing that graduating would be a great relief I guess?
Um how do you know what emotion you're feeling to start with
Joey is the best ❤❤❤ sooo funny
Can someone please tell me why the Dr looks so different in this vid? I can’t figure it out and it’s driving me nuts
Hi. Love the video. I have a question. I heard emotional reasoning is usually a cognitive distortion. So is listening to emotions is also a cognitive distortion?
Definitely not a doctor or anything but here's what I've come to understand is 15+ years of therapy.
Emotional thinking can lead to cognitive distortions but so can logical thinking. The solution isn't to not listen to them but finding the healthy balance in between.
DBT calls that middle ground rational thinking.
So it's rational to listen to your emotions while considering them logically as well as make logical decisions while considering the emotional impact but too far in either direction can lead to cognitive distortion.
It's also worth noting some things on balance. Balancing isn't static, you have to be able to sway a bit as needed. Flexibility is key with any kind of balance.
I like the analogy of how very hardwood trees might be bigger and denser than softwood trees, but softwood are more flexible and that makes them far less likely to break during a storm.
My favorite pose in yoga is tree pose because it reminds of that - If I'm too tensed up about being in perfect balance then I will lose that balance quickly but engaging my muscles with a more relaxed mind keeps me flexible enough to stay in the pose longer. I'm also far less likely to get injured when balance is lost because I'm relaxed enough to catch myself rather than getting panicked.
Sorry for the novel, I'm not very concise 😅 Hopefully it was worth the read.
Emotional reasoning, in the example I gave of someone who is chronically angry, would be like thinking: "I feel angry, therefore the person I'm talking to did something to anger me." Whereas being curious about the emotion would get you closer to the real reason behind your anger, which is that you feel people are mistreating you because you experience low self-worth/entitlement.
Our emotions don't always fit the facts of the situation (e.g., you might feel angry even though no injustice occurred against you), but even then, they contain important messages to decipher. Emotional reasoning is like saying “I feel [this] so [this] is true,” while listening to your emotions is like saying “I feel [this]. Let me look into why that is.”
Hope that helps :)
@@sourgreendolly7685 thank you so much
@@AnaPsychology It helps. Thank you so much.
I don't mean to pry but one thing I've noticed about this video you're trying to hold back tears and I don't know if the topic triggered something emotional in your past but I'm just genuinely curious about I hope you're okay and I enjoy your videos because they are very insightful and helpful so thank you for all your knowledge
Haha I think I was wearing colored contacts, I was fine but thank you for the concern :)
So so true!
interesting 👍
Dr. Ana 👀
Are you wearing colored contacts? 👀
YESSSSS
👍
🙂👌👍
You ever tried God it's simple as that
Leaving god? Yeah, it was the most effective thing I've ever did. My OCD dropped from a 10 to a 3 in a single instant. Every day I'm grateful that I had the courage to leave the abusive cult that is Christianity, and the abusive imaginary relationship with it's narcissistic god.
@@No-ky3kb well it's good that you got better the road to God was always narrow but I think it would be worth it I'm going to still stick with my belief Christ is 👑
Your eye color changed 😑