Cptsd - Dealing w Anger After Narcissistic Relationships
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ย. 2024
- The side effects of narcissistic relationships do not go away with time - you have to take action to overcome complex ptsd, which is often a result of prolonged, chronic emotional manipulation and stress. I put together the Thrivers School of Transformation to help individuals have a safe and affordable place to heal, grow and thrive!!!
John Bradshaw stated 'The best way to come out of hiding is to find a nonshaming intimate social network. We have to get on a core, gut level because shame is core, gut level stuff. The only way we can find out we were wrong about ourselves is to risk exposing ourselves to someone elses scrutiny. When we trust someone else and experience their love and acceptance, we begin to change our beliefs about ourselves.'
THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL FIND IN THIS SCHOOL!!
For $79/month you will receive:
*Daily support in a private membership page (not on facebook)
*Weekly podcasts
*Weekly Live Meetings:
1. Book Club - analyzing together specific publication that help on the healing journey
2. Live Q & A - send in your personal questions and we can go over them together
3. Mini Power Sessions - 5 - 10 min. coaching sessions
4. Exercises to help overcome social anxiety and expand your window of tolerance
WHO YOU ENTER AS WILL NOT BE WHO YOU LEAVE THE SCHOOL AS!!!
WILL YOU JOIN US?
micheleleeniev...
It's mourning a love that never was, but my true anger comes from being used.
Exactly! The more I realize the more I can't bear with it! How can a child be smothered and left with no help whatsoever. I'm a male and I struggle with issues on being a male, socializing and seeing little kids get along with each other "naturally" turns my anger into rage. All I wanna do is get better and pour out this rage and let them suffocate in it.
All I wanna be is a NORMAL HUMAN BEING. That's all. Not in the eyes of theirs or others who dob't know what I'm going through. IN. MY. EYES. A normal human being who is sociable, relieved, WHO STOPPED PARENTING HIMSELF.
My anger comes from being tormented and tortured like a lab rat.
If you deal with a situation where you have no voice and no right, anger is just the consequence mixed with pain and trauma.
@Luka Henry I wonder why freaks like you think I need "tips" from people I don´t know, as if youtube isn´t enough.
@Ismael Archer Only superficial people find it normal to talk about flixzone while narcissists are theme. I guess freaks like you don´t get what really matters.
In all of it, I just lost my voice
Well said.
I’m angry that I wasted most of my 20s (my prime years) on a narcissist. Now I’m 34, unmarried, and look much older than I do. I’m angry at myself for not ending the toxic relationship much sooner and letting it fester for 8 years.
I understand, it is very painful to realise such undeserving selfish nasty humans stole some of the best years of our lives.
I'm almost 45, married for 19 years and just recently realizing what this craziness is called....narcissistic abuse. You're still young!
Same
It's okay. I understand that. I'm 30, angry at my boyfriend all the time. I asked him in the beginning not to lie to me and it was almost a week after we started getting serious he shut himself off from me and dove deep into a really destructive gambling addiction which he of course lied about for 7 months. I tried to forget and forgive and try to work with him thru it. But the more he lied the more angrier I became. Once I was ready to just pack my bags he finally gets a realization and stopped gambling all together but he can't handle a
I too wasted 8 soul sucking years. Never realized the extent of the emotional damage. Never knew I could be a victim to such a thing, or knew people could be so manipulative. How do you feel about things now?
No words can explain the level of anger that I am going through. Ranting and raving often screaming at the top of my lungs and evil and vile things that I otherwise would never say. Anger is like a cancer for me. On the otherhand.. the moments that I acknowledge my anger lead me to acceptance.. that 25 years has brought me to my knees. Does not mean I plan on staying there. My anger helps me to stay in the reality
I hear you. It's not you, it was their intention to plant those bad seeds in there or download the faulty hardware - you CAN uproot and overwrite them! It's a spiritual battle, see RC Blakes on Breaking Soul Ties. God bless you as you heal.
Jus want to say I hear you, I feel the exact same way, 27 years of utter torture.
Going to be moving State to get away from my ex creature who moved right on to the next street.
I have to work on being happy by Myself. I don’t need any men in my life while I try to recover from 5 years of severe verbal abuse, manipulation, codependency and gaslighting. I did notice in that past horrible situationship I was always unhappy. It wasn’t until I went no contact and started going to therapy that I realized the cause of it all. I am going to get better eventually. Right now I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I can bet money that my ex is still having his little temper tantrums when things don’t go his way in his new relationship. He carries explosive anger. I noticed I was angry a lot back then.
My relationship with this man was 25 years.. I could not figure out the behavior until an accidental touch on a video. What I think is sad is when I look at him I see someone that is empty.. I can accept that it is over. Last r years have been an eye opener.
So sorry you had to be the person you’re not !
I too turned into a raging angry mess !
It’s not our fault Carrie
It’s called “ Reactive Abuse”!!
We the empathetic co dependent partner, child ,adult child ,sibling friend ,neighbor co worker etc end up attracting these broken narcissistic demons and they gaslight push our buttons manipulate falsely accuse etc
We end up taking enough of their abuse and “ in kind.. retaliate with “ our anger and rage”!!
“For every action there is an equal or opposite reaction”
Therefore we display our “ reactive abuse onto our abusers” !!
I’m sure Michelle has a video on this subject
She’s awesome
and so are you !!
Narcs are SharKs
Draw closer to God and He will draw closer to you and pray for a hedge of protection and help you through your healing through this devastating “narcissistic abuse”!
And definitely try to do sessions with Michelle and join her groups!
I need to do the same!!
God bless you as you trust the process !!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️
I find that my emotional state didn't get better immediately after I distanced from toxic people because I had repressed the sadness and frustration for over a decade and I find myself yelling in frustration at my cat sometimes. It's like the frustration and anger built up over so many years and I never had an outlet to express it and so it comes out directed at my pets and family members when they weren't the source of the original pain.
i find it hurts the most when people who you thought were interested in being your friend or who you thought was romantically interested in you ends up being someone who was trying to manipulate you, it makes you question everyone's motives. I don't know how I can trust a man now ever since a guy had his friend bully me and he never stood up for me. It's really confusing when these narcissists are cheerful and friendly in a crowd, but becomes dark and non-empathetic when one on one.
I believe you. What I have discovered in my situation is Abuse by Proxy and Gang Stalking is being used agents me. My employment is being jeopardized and the person I thought was my friend intimately has told me that I’m not taking responsibility for my own actions and my life. This guy has got to go, like on a speed boat away from me. I’ve been screwed over by females as well as males so the only ones I do trust is my dog and cat. They get love from me. Thank you for sharing. Hugs 🤗 and love ❤️ coming your way 🥰
Best comment ever. I feel so understood as if you were telling my story. ❤️
@@alimccreery755 Thanks! Hugs and love to you, as well! I hope life gets better for you. I also only trust my cat. It sounds corny, but my cat is my best friend. It gets lonely, but I often feel like I'd rather have my peace of mind and not have stress and anxiety by being alone.
Yes. Especially when it is your own sister on the sidelines sucking up the negative energy.
Keep the cat out of this plz😢
My toxic narc mother died 20 years ago and I'm still dealing with the anger of the way she treated me.
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My mum of all people, still thinks I must have done something to make my ex leave me. It is very sad when not even your own mother has your back.
Maybe a narcisstic mom
She is his “flying monkey”. Tragic that your mom is not taking your side. But your parter must have been a skillful manipulator. There is a lot of information about “flying monkeys” who support narc (information related to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
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You're right mr @Daniel. I've been going through the same situation for the past 2years. You stay strong. God is your side and you'll get a life partner who always stands by yourside❤
Hello Thrivers - I don't always get to answer everyones comments, but I do read them all. So many really break my heart - as an empath I can sense the pain many of you are still in. There is so much injustice when it comes to narcissistic abuse - people don't get it, they are manipulated into believing lies - and the victim of narcissistic abuse is blamed and smeared. The psychological abuse leaves you in emotional states like constant rumination, anger, resentment, inability to trust or move on - to sum it up, you can be out of the relationship for years and still be tormented by these emotions as well as the circumstances that they forced upon you. I know it's awful, trust me I've been there - but I also know that it is possible to really heal, grow and transform your life. Now - that doesn't mean everything gets perfect, but you learn to let go of what you cannot control and you learn to re-gain power over your life. It's not easy - 5 years ago if someone told me this I would have doubted.... could I ever really let go of all the damage I felt I was carrying - it was like scar tissue on my soul - but I did. It took patience, effort, a strong desire to not give up, self compassion and more but it was worth it. In fact, it's what motivates me to make videos because if I could do it then anyone can!! So please, hang in there - don't give up. And always remember, while I try to put out as much free content as possible - there are other resources that may help - if you get a chance you may want to check out The Thrivers School of Transformation - I'll leave the link here in case anyone wants to check see if it's a good fit: micheleleenieves.mykajabi.com/thrivers-school-of-transformation
Bad news, I can have real anger issues . Good news My sense the pain is eased by your Wisdom and advise .Thank you so much
I can so relate to your video I'm dealing with those feelings right now what you're talking about with anger and frustration etcetera it's not an easy road but your videos help thank you so much!
Thank you for your empathy understanding and help❣️🍀🕊🌟
Your emotional state doesn’t change because you just changed locations. It’s as simple as that. You’re emotions is your body’s reaction to the relationships affects on you.
Yes exactly!! Unfortunately sometimes we think when this (external thing) happens ....then I will feel ..... The truth is we have to get there on the inside first and then the external falls into place, not the other way around.
@@FromSurvivingToThriving spot on! Thanks for all you do Michelle.😘
Keep up the good work Michele thank you , you are hitting all the marks with these videos.😀
yes, I haven't seen many of the narcissists I dealt with for several years but I still have "dissociative episodes" where I'm overwhelmed with anger to the point where I lose control on my body for about 3 seconds. I'll be sitting at my computer watching a video like this and the anger will come flooding back and I leave my chair and rush across the room, then I catch myself, stop and come back to the computer. I've had like 2 or 3 dissociative episodes while watching this.
Being single for three years showed me my faults and how I don’t have to rely on another man to complete me. I highly recommend it for any women holding onto someone feeling there is no way out.
Would love to see some one about toxic couples that work together. They’re a treat to meet, yet not much information on them.
Exactly as you described! I’m still dealing with the vile smearing of my reputation decades later. They’re still at it years after no contact and being states away and when I have to meet or hear from someone who knows them, the anger can flare up.
Going through the same thing. I moved 5 states away, but the hurt and anger is still there. I have no way of repairing my reputation.
For me, since early childhood, I believe my anger stems from injustices against me. I forgive my offenders, but the memory of the traumatic abuses are still there. Trust is non existent. Love is a nice idea, but I rarely see it demonstrated by humans in practice; they just don't understand it. Fear dominates humanity.
You described my life
Same here CRS.... I have a difficult time processing/letting go of injustice. I have always been that way. So when I feel like I've been treated unfairly - in a most recent case during the discard/ending of a relationship with a person with NPD, it is hard to deal with. And of course, with a Narcissist, you're not going to get an appropriate, if ANY, acknowledgement or apology. All you're left with is a blatant mistreatment by another human being. How are we supposed to have faith/trust in humanity and people in this world, when they are capable of such inhumane treatment of us?
@@kyledavis635 It's like most ppl are wandering around like zombies, unaware that they are zombies, living totally under the veil of consciousness. Scary.
INFJ?
This is totally me. The one thing I don't do is blame myself which I guess is a good thing. I blame them 100%. The reason I think I'm so angry is because they've never had any consequences. My life and emotional state and mental state has been awful for the last 10 years. Their lives have gone on, they've abused others, they've made out like bandits ripping people off and improving their own lives at the expense of others. I would love to see these people pay and pay dearly. Pay financially, be exposed publicly to everyone for everything they've done and be ostracized and not be able to walk down the street and even be jailed because some things they've done are actual crimes. But I never see it, and I've checked. They've gotten away Scott free.
Yes I feel the same way... My ex narc just skates thru life while I just try to survive. Very unfair
Part of it is that they’re highly manipulative and controlling and simply just dirty players and they can do it covertly. That makes them seem to win all the time. For you & us the survivors we just have to accept that we’re not like they, we’re another way for instance emphatic and base our works in our strong values, alongside creating awareness and helping the younger generations not to fall victims of this horrendous abuse.
These same people will put innocent people in jail.
Yes, i found a mantra to this situation : LET IT GO. You feel better and they will get their KARMA.
The tens of years of lost time for living with a Narc family then finding out the truth on what is really happening is gut wrenching, and makes you want to buy guns at first lol.
Right on brother. My favorite part is when they realize they are not getting you back. “Oh dear, seems we’ve misplaced our beloved scapegoat.”
I love your analogy about a marriage. I moved a few years ago and have been beating myself up bc I'm still healing. ❤
I completely get this i went straight from a abusive childhood into a abusive marriage i am now nearly 60 yrs old and i have spent all these years living with people who should have had my back and cared for me but did not infact they were deliberately causing me harm and enjoying seeing me hurt. I only woke up 2 yrs ago and i am so angry. Angry with the abusers & angry with myself.But i can not stop dwelling on the past hurts especially as they are still being triggered as i have not yet managed to leave my very long marriage .
How is your healing and recovery process going?
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Hi 🙋♀️ Michelle from ENGLAND in the U.K. 🇬🇧
Michele, I'm definitely looking forward to your upcoming videos about How To Break Through The Anger! 😃👍💯
It’s really about your perspective on things, if you make the focus on yourself and think of all the crap this person put you through and did to you your going to be pissed off! But if you focus on understanding the reasons behind this person’s character dysfunction ( like their upbringing and their family life or lack there of) it will make you feel more sad for the person and gives you more peace about it.
I agree pity is a healthier emotion than anger.
And it helps you see that none of it was truly personal. They would have done the same thing to someone else.
@@lesliegann2737 yes! The victims of a narcissist need to understand that!
I do not agree 100 %.
For me personally, it does help me 2 watch this content even after a those years.
It does not make me feel the way i felt before.
Butt i do watch it just because it makes me feel good and not so many people understand what i went through emotionally. And its nice 2 hear it from someone who does understand!
I agree! My Mum of all people is still convinced I must have been the bad guy in all of this because someone doesn't just leave you... she doesn't get it and is wondering if I was abusive to my ex etc. It is very sad when not even your parents are on your side and they side with the narcissist. 🙁
It's also very valuable when the NPDs are your parents, your brother is the Golden Child and sister the Lost Child and you are the Scapegoat. I call my sister and confide in her - because I feel a longing for family and connection - only to learn she is smearing me again and again. These videos are a good reminder of the pain and havoc these people have created in my life and why I moved to another continent to get away from them. When the Mother's Day, Father's Day hoovering starts and they try to guilt me for being so far away especially during Covid. Helps me to maintain No Contact and protect myself from further harm.
@@DanielRD-91Thats because one parent is a narcissist and the other parent has become an enabler coodependant..
@@firehorse9996❤
My resentment and anger will subside after I get to speak with my only kid again. My extremely narcissistic ex wife of 31 years is using our only kid as a pawn in her scheme of vengeance and smearing, now six years after the divorce. The kid hasn’t spoken to me in almost five years. Until then, forgiveness gets kicked down the road, although I have come to grips with 31 years of lies, cheating, and abuse. Each day that I don’t get to speak to my kid is a reminder of that 31 years.
My ex of 33 years did that with my 3 kids. One is dead.
@@wms72 my prayers are with you.
@@wms72 sorry for your loss ❤
Write letters and give them to your child later. It will help their understanding and healing. That would be a very loving thing to do.
That was painful to read. I'm so sorry.😢 My prayers go out to you and your children.
Thank you for helping us survive and thrive! Exhaling peace! 🌬
Michelle, I get depressed sometimes when I remember the good times I had. Can you please make a video on this subject?
Snap! I try my best not to think about good times etc. But it seems the more I try, the more it comes flooding back to knock me back down a step. 🙁
@@DanielRD-91 I find that like telling my brain NOT to think of a polka dotted elephant. It goes directly there. I now realize what I am thinking about, whatever is bringing me pain and change it to something else that brings me joy. Like changing the channel on the tv. I hope this helps you. The past is gone. What do you wish for today or tomorrow? You will tire of going back all by yourself when you are ready. Bless you!
"Emancipation from toxic people!!!!" This I needed a reminder of..."the act of freeing a person from another person's control". It is about building yourself up to a sate of personal strength that you can leave these people and no longer have to share your time or life with them...this terrifies them and is why they barrage you with soul destroying negativity.
I consider my bitter hatred towards all narcs part of being healed.
It's like a shield from ever getting involved with one again.
Looking forward to part 2!!! x
In my situation I was raised in a toxic family. Thankfully my mom at least loves us and sacrificed a lot for us so we did know real love. However, she and her mother and many siblings were emotionally, physically and mentally abused by my grandfather. I'm assuming he was a narc because he was an angry, scary man who was also very handsome, charming and hilarious. My mom loved him and so did I. But the way he expected us to just take his abuse set us up for future predators.
My stepdad, I believe, was a Covert narc and he actually praised me for being easily crushed and not fighting back when mistreated unlike my sister. ( Can you guess who was the Scapegoat?) Meek was what he called it.
I met my husband when I was 16 years old. There was very clearly something wrong with his mother but for some reason everyone around her acted like there wasn't. She had been a real beauty in her youth, before she ruined her looks with smoking and excessive drinking and all the prescription drugs she could get her hands on.
At the jump she was very angry at me for no reason. Sh was rude the very first time I called their house. But you know what my husband told me? He excused her behavior by saying she'd recently stopped smoking. I found out nearly 30 years later that she'd quit smoking *six years* before she met me.
Being the doormat that I was I wanted to please his mother. I never liked it when people hated their mothers in law for no reason and I didn't want to be that person.
Sad for me, MIL turned out to be a Covert narcissist. When she realized how maleable I was she was probably giddy. My husband fell right in line even though he was the Lost/Invisible Child and he started telling me that his maternal grandmother was so much worse than his mother and whenever I went to him with the latest sneak attack she pulled he'd tell me I should just let it go, that's just how she was. Basically he was telling me to be happy his mother didn't treat me even worse than she did. When our first child was born MIL was angry at us for having her when we were so young and out of wedlock so that meant our child was her Scapegoat for being born in circumstances she had zero control of.
I guess in order to please MIL I tried parenting the way MIL told me to which put a huge wedge between my daughter and me. MIL wanted me to be rigid and detached and like a freaking idiot I complied. I wasn't raised right so I had no idea how to parent. I thought maybe since this woman was so confident in what she was teaching me she knows what she's doing. She did have one more kid than my mom did and my mom certainly didn't claim to be any sort of expert like my MIL.
My daughter and I became favorite targets for MIL. Everyone walked on eggshells around MIL. Her moods were always a surprise. She'd play mind games, do jump scares, ruin all the holidays and expected us to spend every holiday with her never once offering to let us spend the big ones with my family. We were minorities and therefore less than. I think we were supposed to simply be grateful to be associated with them. MIL would get drunk, snatch up my babies and stumble around the house for us to chase her down to get the baby away from her. She was inhumanly fast especially for her age.
It was always stressful to be around any of them because I never felt good enough. I only see that now looking back.
Several years ago we moved away and finally got a look at real genuine people, families and relationships. When we were forced to move back near our families we very shortly realized how much we didn't want to be around them though FIL and my husband's siblings were worth going back to visit.
As time went on and exposure to MIL and her ridiculousness got more and more unbearable we spent less time around her. I finally realized I needed to protect my children and myself from her but I still didn't know she was a narcissist. Occasional arguments would happen over minimizing time with them but for the most part my husband understood how harsh and weird his mother was and he didn't push too hard to be around her.
The realization that MIL was a legit Narc happened when MIL announced her stage 4 cancer diagnosis and her behavior got worse. She started getting jealous of our 10 year old daughter for her little successes at her tiny dance school. The mind games began and given chance after chance to fix her behavior, MIL refused to stop coming after our daughter. Since it was covert abuse my husband began gaslighting me because I was digging in my heels on minimizing exposure to his mother. Suddenly he was expecting me to spend all day with his mother during holidays and whenever else she snapped her fingers. He went full on Flying Monkey on me. He betrayed not only me but our children to please his mother who never cared much about him. This went on for 2 or 3 years.
MIL died almost a year ago and I still ruminate on the whole thing. I'm hurt. I'm bitter that my husband chose his awful mother over our family. I don't know what to do with those feelings.
This is exactly how I feel now. I feel like I was on the island all by myself. One sided love affair. He was always right and I was wrong. He was a soul sucker. My mother was a narcissist. I have ADHD and she would always tell people that something was wrong with me and she didn't know what to do with me. Sad. I thought for a long time my dad was the narc and it was my mom. She has since passed away and all of what happened when I was little came up after my breakup. Had to start from the ground up on healing.
Im guilty of watching videos over and over. It does make me feel better. I am getting better with getting more and more over it. I do feel very stuck.
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This video is the single most helpful I’ve watched on the topic of narcissistic abuse.
I’m so angry and resentful.
I'm not angry at myself. I am angry at God that the injustice still goes on.
And that’s the problem
It’s like you are reading my soul ,thanks for validating us
I cry as I listen to you Michele as this is where I am... 65 years old and my eyes are open to the horrendous damage my mother did to all of us.
I am so angry at how selfish she was/and still is, and how much of my and my son's life she stole. I can't get back the life I should and could have had... And having realized she did ALL of this on PURPOSE, stole the lives of her children, whose purpose is to serve her narcissistic needs. I have a tug of war with giving up and continuing this very painful journey. The last three years have been hell and at 65, I'm taking baby steps. I have finally set some healthy boundaries with her and the other narcissists I have drawn to because that's what I know.
I just wish I wasn't a senior citizen finding this out, putting the puzzle pieces together. It is um, comforting
to understand the why's of some of my choices, they weren't really my conscious decisions but more the effects of her life long mind effing.
I'm exhausted. Thank you Michele for your validation of the crippling and devastating effects of narcissistic abuse. This complex ptsd isn't for the weak!
Turn to Jesus Christ and live with God for eternity.
I literally wept the first time i ever watched the Truman Show, simply because it was the first mirroring i ever experienced in my entire life (i was in the second but not last, narcissistic relationship. My parents are both psychologically ill as well) ❣️🙏 thank you for caring about us thrivers! 😊
This has really helped, thankyou Michelle x
You are an angel sent from God. This is what I needed to hear. I’ve been longing for an answer like this. I just never had the words to say it, but what you said are my thoughts spoken out loud. Thank you
I went no contact with my parents on 8/1/23. It's now 8/18/23. The pain and rage is unfathomable. There are days when literally I am shaking with rage, like every cell in my body is quivering. I am glad I am seeing an EMDR therapist now
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I'm living with narcissistic parents. Just left my ex-narcissistic partner. I am so preassured to get out but can't afford it financially. I'm doing my best: exercising, tapping, walking, reading...I have so much anger I don't want to project it onto anyone, but I find it so hard to manage. I really want to heal, but my situation doesn't allow me to go to theraphy and have no supportive people I can go to. Thanks for your videos
Sure you can find an association or something like that so you can get understanding and support and then get your own place...🍀🕊🌟
I have most certainly been frustrated/angry at myself for not having realized it while it was happening. I had no idea people could be like this. So it feels very much like a con. It really hit home, the fact they don't want to see you happy or productive. So arguments were initiated to destroy that.
Thank you Michele!
Very honest video, good info and very genuine.
Subscribed!
You realize that years even decades of your life are gone. You are not the same person that you remember yourself to have been. For me, I'm 60 years old now, I was a healthy younger version of myself. Now I am broken, lonely in physical and phycological pain. My children are grown, they live in completely different cities and I'm left here alone, trying to get a handle on something that I don't even truly understand. All I did wrong, I fell in love.
I still watch narcissism vids from time to time, but not like before. Always appreciate your input.
I consider you to be one of the most intelligent educator I have ever encountered. You have the extraordinary ability to explain complex ideas simply. You are very clear thinking and focused.
Michelle I can't tell you how validating this video is. I am that scapegoat and still am, the beliefs about me have never gone. I struggle a lot with the anger because my family tried to destroy my life. Even when I had my first born son, my grandmother told me my son's name sounded like a devil's name and when we went to visit my son he could not stop crying when he looked at her in the eyes( he never used to cry) but he was terrified of her. Fast forward a year and my family insisted that i allow my son to play in her living room which was a 4th floor apartment. She insisted I allow my son to be alone but my instincts told me not to leave him alone. Sure enough, she had opened the window wide as it could go and had a small chair against the wall of the window so he could have easily climbed out. The funny thing is, is that when i didn't want to leave him alone in a room to play, they criticized me for being over protective but had I not listened to my instincts then my son would have jumped out that window and died. This is what they do, they want to destroy you by any means necessary
She sounds like she practices witchcraft. I highly recommend Don Dickerman's books and resources on breaking generational curses.
My God...God bless you and your child-ren ❤🍀🕊🌟
It’s the Mom moment for me 🙌🏾🙌🏾❤️❤️.
You explain this so well, thank you. It's hard to move on when there's been no resolution. It's good to be reminded to move on. Bless you.
This was such confirmation for the work I doMichelle. Thanks for your help and all you do to help educate.
I’m angry for many of those reasons and more. I’m really angry that because I grew up in an unhealthy home that I treated people I care about in an unhealthy way cuz I didn’t know any better. Treating people poorly is the worst thing I can do in my mind. I’m so angry that I didn’t know I was unhealthy since it was the norm. I’m so angry that the way someone treated me influenced the way I treat others and I couldn’t stop it. And it terrifies me too. I’ve treat so hard to treat people good and yet it wasn’t good enough. Nothing that happened was real and I no longer know what is healthy or unhealthy. How can even consider being around people when I don’t even know if I’m healthy or not? I will not be like the people who caused me so much pain even if it means I have to be alone. Everything was a lie. Myself. The people I trusted the most. Nothing was or is real. I have constant anxiety cuz I believe that people mean well but I do not believe that they will stick around or that they will treat me well. Everywhere I look there’s unhealthy families. No one seems to know what healthy is. How can I learn healthy if no one is healthy? I’m do angry. So scared
When someone is gaslighting or crosses my boundaries, i get triggered so fast i ended up yelling, crying, and self harming. It's so stressful for the people around me, and even if my non-narcissistic parent is the one who triggers this with his denial, i still don't want to hurt him and have this out of control anger. I know that my anger was created by abuse, but I don't like myself when I lose it. How do you slow your emotions down enough to redirect the anger into something positive, when your trigger and response are so automatic?
What you described to 5:40 is my life. Wow. Thank you for making these videos. 🙏💚
This is my favorite look of you today.
The pain being on purpose is the worst part. I never want to deal with him again.
The Truman show ; hey that was the Jim Carey Reference
yeess!! Thank you =)
After narcissistic abuse from a friend i became more narcissistic myself and i find it hard to let go of bitterness. In our last text conversation he provoked and baited me to talk negatively about other people. Now hes probably showing them the texts to prove what a terrible person i am. I feel like ive changed more into the person he describes me to be.
Thank you! 41 years old next month detoxing from 2 narcissistic parents and a brother who is mentally ill as a result of those two. Starting to find my default level and understanding who I would have been and my potential if I wasn't raised in that environment.
So exited for The Thrivers School of Transformation to start!!! Your previous 2 workshops have changed my life and I'm forever grateful!!! Lets do this sista!!!!
I was so angry a few minutes ago, having to deal with my tox-narc-wifey, but not anymore. You have a very soothing way about you and, I assume was your daughter, kinda reminded me of my own teenage daughter, lol! Thanks for lifting my mood, really, thank you. I think the combination of the red top, exposed slender sexy shoulders, and striking good looks also had something to do with the lifting of my mood, hehe 😉 Very insightful video with unique perspectives concerning narcissists and narcissistic abuse. Well done, bravo 👍🏽👏🏾✌🏽
Wow never thought about cptsd... That's life saving. Thank sm. I have always asked myself why I was so angry and foremost now after breaking up with a narcisstist. I can now see more clearly. Wow that's mind-blowing. I endured years of massive massive psychological abuse. Years I also would say my whole life be it my parents or my partners. It was abuse after abuse. I hope I can get out of that.
❤️🍀🕊
The opposite of resentment
FORGIVENESS.
I agree to an extent, but it is very hard for me to forgive someone that chucked me away without a second thought, like an old pair of shoes after we had just got engaged!
That was good. Thanks Michelle.
I deal with flashbacks to bad memories and then I feel some anger/ resentment, thigh I left everybody a few years ago. When I first left, I was in so much pain. I left my narc family and then I was healing from a Narc man. I grieved for months b/c my life seemed so broken. I struggled to survive so I wasn't consistently in therapy. Plus, I felt moved to quit seeing my therapist. I want to get back into therapy with a new therapist.
So true. My roommate immediately after I left the narcissist witnessed me being angry and just expected me to put it behind me like it was nothing. Remind you it was just days after I left.
Very good observations Michele!...Thanks for your insights!
I had a narcissist girlfriend for over 20 years. I adored and worshiped her, it was practally love at first sight. She broke my heart several times , didn't care about how I was feeling , and all the other usual narcissitic traits. I never really knew what the word meant till now. She passed away 11 years ago. But ever now and then I think about things she put me through ,and the hurt feels just like back then, with the same intencety . She changed a little bit , a few years before she died. But I could never tell her that I loved her . I do dream of her too. But it's usually bad. I guess I never left her, was because I was afraid of being alone. But I found out now, it;s not so bad.
Thank you Michelle ❤
Yes I thought I'm out ,little did I know it was the start 😅
You did a great job on this video. Many thanks to you. And your children are precious. I love that you kept that part in here. Bless you!!!!!
The answer to get rid of the anger or any other feeling, is WORK. Get a second job, get on a regular gym schedule, get out to travel, just use your extra time to WORK. Your efforts will quickly be realized when you self review in the mirror. You will watch yourself rebuild right before your very eyes. Your progress will expose how toxic the past was, and your heart will thrive on your internal success. Keep working. And then work some more. Fill your schedule. Squeeze out the free time that you were just moping around in sorrow. I promise that work will pay out huge dividends on so many levels.
The Truman show is the movie you’re talking about and it’s crazy because I literally journaled about how I felt like I was in the Truman show….. insane
A lot of pain and anger within the scapegoat. Like exiting the Truman show or The matrix. I am mad at myself for allowing it all to happen.
Thank you Michelle❤️🙏 You and Dr Ramani have helped me so much, i'm slowly regaining my sanity and strength back x
You're a good teacher
It's been a year and a half NC.. I just started sobbing within the first 2 min 😞 I hate this. Don't miss them, or wish to know anything about them. But it is so clear how I'm still stuck in those "default reactions" and I hate myself sometimes after it happens.
Thank you for you videos. You have helped explain behaviors and motivations for behaviors I would have never been able to puzzle through. I was very Pollyanna-like in my view of the world, and while most of that is still intact, I now know that there are true monsters out there, who only wish to feed.
Yo, Michele!! The black cloud syndrome
was my GO TO VIDEO TO HELP ME.
Please repost, I have it my book marks
but I does not play. For all of us at this
stage of recovery that video is critically
vital. SOOOOOO!! PLEASE REPOST!!.
Thanks
Thank you Michele
Me throughout this video: “Yeah…. Exactly! … yeah…. Yeah!”
Cant afford the membership though but great video
I had one, just one healthy dose of gaslighting/stonewalling that made me feel dead inside for months. I don't even know if it was intentional but it doesn't matter, it's just as sickening as if it was.
i was with a narcissist lier for 2 years
i felt abused of my genuine feelings i have. a roller coaster of emotions and i developed a resentment and anger that lead me to contact all the people close to him telling them bad things about him
his manipulation dragged me in this unhealthy state of mind that doesn’t belong to me
Thank you for this amazing content! I love the direction you’re taking with your channel for 2021 Michelle! 🌺
I got rid of one toxic person and I felt good about it since I gave her a second chance and she f it up. So now I’m one down two to go. I don’t doubt I will have after effects but just having them out of my living area will be a relief. Does anyone remember how, the bride in Kill Bill reacted when she accomplished what she did. That’s going to be me.
This is me right now. IAM so stuck🙁
Michele's course really helped me. Still healing... but now I have the tools. Good luck Jen!
Snap. 🙁
Thank you 💐
Thank you , Michelle! You're such a blessing!
Im not angry ibwatch videos still to remember what a narc is n so it stays fresh in my head so i dont get duped again
Thank you - you are amazing xx
There is never real affirmation, as no one actually believes such people exist, until they do.
I needed this just now. :)
Thank you so much. Everything you say is true. What the narcisists do is so sick and twisted you end up in a mental fog and only when you start walking on the solid ground of reality and not fantasy you can gradually start to heal. Physical work helps to get your feet back on the ground. It has been working for me. And the necessity to face the hardships and responsibilities of life did make a difference as well. Thank you for your invaluable help you give to the victims, survivers and thrivers!
In my opinion, I dont want it to go away.
You should have righteous indignation to soulless individuals.
I just dont allow that anger to consume me.
It's almost impossible to get rid of the anger and resentment of being invalidated and put down on a daily basis when one cannot leave the marriage since there are several children at home.
Why can't she just be NICE ⁉️🤷♂️
I know it's hard - and the truth is you can't change her - if she's not nice ... no matter what you do she won't be nice. But you can find peace and joy with your children and yourself - it's about breakout out of the enmeshment, allowing her to be in her energy (not saying you like it like that but that you let go of trying to change what is not in your power) and you focus on validating yourself, strengthening your autonomy, self confidence and self love ... your children will benefit so much from this despite her crazy!!! Hang in there
Thank you, @@FromSurvivingToThriving!
I need to learn better how to heal, grow, transform my life, and mostly let go of allowing what she says/does to effect me and of trying to change her!
I will definitely find the joy my children bring to me!
Just need help in the areas of healing. 😃👍
@@keithmace1 It's not easy being in the environment - but I give you credit as a dad - for doing what you feel is best for you kids! If you do want more help in regards to healing - you should check out my Thrivers School of Transformation - it begins next week... just a thought!! I'll leave the link here if you want to check it out: micheleleenieves.mykajabi.com/thrivers-school-of-transformation. If not - hang in there - work on breaking free of enmeshment so that you can stay in your own energy despite how she is!!!!
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Thank you for the encouragement.
I looked at the Thrivers School website. I'm sure it could help, but I work days plus we budget all our monies: so idk how I'd explain that cost without a HUGE fight.
Also, though, when I'm not around her, I actually have a lot of fun and have a great social life with friends and family and people actually come TO ME for advice because I'm such a true friend to them.
I say that, not to brag, but to say this: if I can be mentally strong socially like that, why does everything she does against me hurt me; instead of me being able to handle it or deflect it?
I watched your video on enmeshment and I really don't think I am that way. (Maybe I am but don't realize it)
I AM an empath, yet I also feel I'm a codependent. 🤦♂️
I don't necessarily need her validation, but the invalidation really hurts myself and my children!
I'm really struggling because it's hard to lose sleep when this stuff happens over and over, and I'm working full-time, plus.
How do I let it not bother me?!
I need to learn this so I can teach my kids how to handle it, as well.
Sadly my narcissistic abusers which i had more than i like to admit didn't like it when i was happy and would also punish me for being sad or depressed. I could never win.
I only know that I've been raised by a covert narcissist mother after being able to leave a man who got me suicidal in only two years of our relationship. After understanding my whole life in retroperspective, I ended all toxic relationships and chose an amazing partner. The anger re. my Ex is still there, he's a member of a Feminist Organisation, I've reported him for abusing me and other women, but my former comrades are almost paralised and don't know what to to about it, how to handle him, nobody believes he really is what I claim. Yet, my anger is gone by 90%, but I really need to keep myself away from Facebook, where he gathers his flying monkeys and makes himself look oh so good.
Thank you.
Beautiful
That really got through x great video.
SPOT ON NEEDED THIS VIDEO
So helpful! Thank you! Looking forward to next video
I've been angry after almost 3 years. I co parent, he continues to haunt me.