Yes! It's an excuse to not attempt to solidify decisions or feelings that involve other people other then themselves. Its such a cop out. If someone recognizes they're " broken" in other terms, need to work on themselves. They usually do that without a s/o, because atleast they are aware of the ramifications of how it can make the other person involved feel. I'm not gonna tell Cassie she's set up for heart break, but imma tell her not to accept that bullshit. He can work on himself and they can be cool.. but if they want any chance of dating again, its not while hes trying to shake out the shit his ex poured onto him..if that's really the case, that is.
I agree. The thing that surprises me most about my current relationship is how easy it’s been. Not to say everything is perfect because obviously nothing is, but we’ve been together six years and have been together 24/7 since March shut downs and I don’t think there’s any other person on earth I could spend this much time with without getting sick of them.
So he was so broken and not ready to be with anyone that he broke up with you and broke your heart but then without fixing himself, went and dated another girl who he claims fucked with him so the villain is the other girl, not this guy???? come on Cassie, be smarter than this. He broke up with you the first time because he wasn't into you and because he sucks. Then he tried to date someone he liked better, got dumped by her (prob because she recognized that he sucks and is just a walking red flag), and now he is trying to villainize that girl to you so that you feel bad for him enough to overlook that he's literally lying to you constantly, refusing to fix his issues, and is just generally a scheme-y scummy dude?
I agree 100%. He broke up with her because he "wasn't ready" but then found someone else? That right there tells you everything you need to know. That said, we've all made mistakes, loved someone who didn't love us back, been in relationships we knew weren't good for us, etc... It's easy to give advice when you're looking in from the outside, but I understand how difficult it is when you're actually in it. She's beautiful and sweet and has a lot going for her. She deserves the kind of love she's willing to give.
I thought he ended things with you the first time bc he wasnt ready for a relationship? Then he gets into a relationship with someone else? That tells you a lot right there. Run girl run. Let him be.
You’re going into this situation talking about heartbreak. Think about that.
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Such a great point, because it means logically and rationally you KNOW it's not going to work and that he's not a great guy but because you're attracted to him you're gonna look past the fact that he's so CLEARLY going to KNOWINGLY cause you pain. When someone WARNS you off them... BELIEVE them! He's gonna turn around some day and say "hey I TOLD you who I was, this in on YOU" and lo and behold you're the crazy clingy ex
Sounds like he is laying out the foundation to be able to make excuses and not a suitable boyfriend. He is going back to you as his safe place to make himself feel better. The last ex killed his confidence and he knows you will bring him back. Be careful of his underlying reasons for wanting you back.
Two years is a long time to wait to get in touch with an ex. I'm wondering if he's been watching cassie's videos, seen the dating struggle, heard himself mentioned, and knew she was still carrying a torch for him. If anybody contacted me after two years, I'd hang up faster than a speeding bullet, (that's an old Superman phrase).
@@peggygreeby5065 lol once a guy ghosted me and blocked me on facebook and then tried to get back in touch about a year later... yeah no fucking thanks lol
I was literally thinking the exact same thing because I’ve been there. I was that girl on and off for 15 yrs and one day he met the girl he’s still with now and simply walked out the door and never looked back. That was 5 yrs ago and it still hurts. I think about all the time I wasted, the opportunities I shut down, ect... “Could have beens” are tough.
I’ll say this. If someone is emotionally ready, willing, and able to be in a relationship with you, it will happen with relative ease. Don’t see this man as a “project.” Major red flag. Not to sound awful, but he won’t come around, or, he’ll break your heart. Spare yourself, please
Yes! I thought the struggle was how things were supposed to be until I met my awesome husband. I'm still amazed at how much I don't have to guess and worry anymore.
@@StephieGsrEvolution Yes! I was in what I thought was a “relationship,” only to realize I was being used for... you know. I also realized that I should not have to make excuses or “stand by him to help him not be broken.” When I met my husband of 15 years he was ready, I was ready, and I said to myself, “THIS is how is ‘should’ be!” It was easy, no “wait and see,” no “I can help him be into me,” etc. Cassie, don’t be a “standby gal.” He’ll feel better and guess what? He’ll probably find someone else. Harsh words, but please be kind to yourself.
@@merylbonderow5993 Cassie is one of those (like me) that it takes a while to learn the hard way that we give up our power too easily. We leave everything to the guy because we're pleasers, helpers.
From what I gathered last time, he wasn't ready for a relationship and/or had issues which was preventing him from getting into a relationship with you, so he left. After he left, he met someone else, who he was ready to have a relationship with, (see where I'm going with this?). He wasn't ready for a relationship with you, but along comes another girl, and he's in a relationship with her in a hot minute. Then she supposedly screwed him over, and they broke up. If he got to the place where he was relationship ready before, why didn't he contact you then, instead of getting into a relationship with someone else? Now, even though he's 'broken', he contacts you again, with issues, and on the second date he's pulling away. RUN! He's just playing games with you.
I hate when guys villianize their ex because you have no way of hearing the other girls side of the story. Most of the time if he does this he wants you to feel bad for him and understand why he can't get himself together. But I have learned the hard way that one day you will be that crazy ex he villianizes to another poor girl who sees his potential. Good luck Cassie, I will follow your adventure whatever you choose.
Omg I was going to write the same thing! Wish I could give this a million likes! That is a major red flag for me in a man! Any man that claims his ex is crazy or a bitch to his new partner for sympathy, 🤮🤮🤮 I was giving this guy the benefit of the doubt until she said he told her he was broken and that his ex was a bitch or whatever. Those are manipulation tactics girl! Eew
Omg I say this with love. You need to grow up. You dont have to save anyone, if he really likes u he’ll be by your side. And the ex thing... really? You wanted to punch her because? Do u have any idea what he told her about u after u broke up? Seriously... learn to be alone and then think about letting someone in... best of luck.
That's true. If they're low on time, then he'll drop his buds and make plans with you with the little time he has. He will call, text and do everything to make sure you aren't looking for someone else because he wants to lock you down. Men are pretty simple when it comes to this. If they want you, they'll show you.
* same goes for all genders :) and sometimes it can be complicated if the person is immature.. I remember this guy who got very upset when I started dating my current boyfriend. Apparently, he wanted to be my bf all of a sudden after giving me all the signals that he wanted me for nothing more than a booty call. Definitely a good thing I never ended up with him!
How can you allow him to disrespect you so much? He breaks up with you cause he's not ready and gets into the relationship right after that. Can't you see he didn't want to date YOU? He knew you'd take him back. Until he finds someone else he wants to date.
Cassie, I'm saying this for your own good: you say you want to punch his ex. This is exactly what he wants. He wants to paint his side of the story so that you feel sorry for him and feel anger towards this other woman. What exempts you from the same treatment? Somewhere in the world is a woman who has never met you but dislikes you based on lies this same guy undoubtedly told her about YOU. Nobody is perfect, but if you get burned on a stove, maybe you shouldn't go touching the same hot burner that burned you the first time. You are pinning your happiness on the illusion of what you want this guy to be.
Yep. When someone tells you who they are, BELIEVE them. He's warned her already about not being ready and how "messed up" he is. Good, off you go and sort yourself out. It isn't women's jobs to fix effed up men. They never wanna do the emotional labour themselves.
The bottom line is he is an ex for a reason. He is sniffing around because you are comfortable and this is nothing but an ego stroke for him. Personally I would move on and close that door. People do not change.
He prob called her psycho to his now ex, when she texted him several months after the breakup when she wanted to show him her stitch work piece that she finished. He prob said "oh it's just a text from this girl who was obsessed with me, I don't know why she texted me, I broke up with her 6 months ago."
He definitely sounds like a narcissist who lost his last supply and it's trying to get with someone he thinks he can manipulate and get a new supply from.
he broke your heart because he “wasn’t in the right place for a relationship” and then went on to have a relationship with someone else got his heart broken and now he’s back and even more broken because of this other girl, that he actively chose over you? red freaking flags 🚨 you deserve so so so much better ..🧡
100%. Also, if he’s using his ex as an excuse for his “broken” personality, no doubt he’s going to be saying the exact same thing about Cassie (if he already hasn’t).
Yeah she’s very immature. There are always two sides to a relationship, and Cassie is only hearing one side. Reminds me of an ex I dated who said all his ex girlfriends were crazy...😒 red flag!
Hold on hold on.... So he was too emotionally "damaged/unavailable" to be with you before. Yet... he got into another relationship. Now he's back again, and NOW he's been hurt by the most recent ex, so he's even more "unavailable". This guy is screaming red flags to me. If he truly is hurt or whatever then he needs to take time to heal on his own. Why did he reach out to YOU if he doesnt want to explore those feelings. You want someone who is emotionally mature. He is the only one responsible for healing himself. He is sounding like he may have NPD. These are classic red flags. You are clearly very empathetic and he sees that in you. These people are masters at appearing so charming, intelligent, cultured, BUT hurt...just very hurt. So they meet people who want to "help" them. He is a big boy... we have all been hurt. Somehow these people are always thr victim and they are so good at making people feel sorry for them. I married one and this is so so so similar to how he was in the beginning. Please beware.
Let him be an Ex. He needs to figure himself out before he tries to make a relationship work. If he’s not willing to open up and work on himself, he’s not going to be there for you. Edit: talk to him about fixing himself. If he wants you around while he’s working on it (therapy) you’ll be there but you don’t need him to play games with you.
Cassie, with anyone that I’ve ever dated who was worth dating, I never had to think twice about who was contacting who, or whether or not I felt like I could tell him I wanted to see him. It just felt completely natural. The games are only for those guys who aren’t worth dating.
Him saying he was not ready for a relationship but getting a gf after just straight out says he was not into you , dont make up excuses for him you deserve better
If he's telling you that he's broken, then he is not ready to heal. He needs to be an ex. To me, I had an ex that told me all of that, he tried working through it... but labelling yourself as broken is not fixing anything... It's not healing. I think he needs to be by himself, Cassie. It's gonna be a long and bad road to be on right now. This is why you should never date an ex... the same issues come up time after time.
It is totally dependant on the individual. We don't know people's stories, and people do actually change for the better sometimes. I used to say that you can't date an ex, it's like reading a book you already read. It's never the same the second time. I was wrong. I was scared to feel a different way. Very protective of myself. I've gotten older, and changed alot myself. I try not to be judgemental. I take every situation as a brand new one. I try to give people a fair shake, and just enough rope for them to hang themselves 😹👍
@@deannahampton8906 again, IN MOST CASES. I have been there and seen people go through it. Yes, some do get married, cool. But thats like 1%. Experts even say not to.
Basically it sounds like you just want his attention. Doesn’t matter how he perceives you just as long as he’s around. good attention, bad attention, as long as he gives you any attention. He’ll eventually find someone he’s interested in and leave you hanging. You’re too good for that. Don’t allow anyone to use you and take advantage of you. Maybe a counseling appointment about this might help you. Remember you’re too good for this.
So its seems to me as though last time he said "hes not in a place to date ANYONE" THEN DATED SOMEONE.... really concerns me. *my opinion* He should stay an ex, hes using you (a person who really liked him) as a confidence booster. If he didn't really want to date you then he doesn't now and just wants to hear you say how great he is. That's just my opinion I have been in the literal same situation more times then I care to relive.
I agree, just the fact that he dated someone else after that shows he was lying to her when he broke up with her the first time. And who knows, that relationship probably went bad for whatever reason and he went back to Cassie for a rebound to feel better about himself. Yikes.
Yes she’s an ego booster for him. The guy is a red flag walking and she feels lonely. He’s using her and I hate to see anyone think they Deserve this little.
People will treat you the way you let them. You do have control over that. And the ex thing? Really? He was not so great to you before he got back with her, right? That’s not her it’s him making excuses. I don’t need to know you to tell you that you deserve better because everybody deserves better than that.
Most men who say “my ex was crazy” really mean “my ex didn’t like it when I was mean, manipulative, and abusive so she left me, but I can’t say I was the problem or you won’t fall for my tricks.” I’ve had exes do that exact thing! If you ask his previous partners (and listen to them, not just be angry BECAUSE they’re his ex), they’ll probably all have something in common that he’s done to them. Come on, Cassie, I’ve been watching you for years, you’re WAY smarter than this. 2020 has ALL of us really lonely, tired, and confused. You’re jumping into this too eagerly for how he treated you before. Please be cautious. You’re young and you’ll find someone, but take the time to work on yourself and it’ll come to you naturally. Also, you shouldn’t be feeling scared like you said you are. Not a good sign.
There is someone worse than the guy that ghosts you. What's worse is the guy that leaves and comes back, leaves and comes back- over and over, because he will RUIN. YOUR. LIFE. 👏 if you let him. You will look back years later and wonder what the heck you were thinking. What the heck did you even see in him. How the heck did you not know and realize your own worth. (Speaking from experience here.....I know it's not easy when you're caught in the moment and emotions, but please listen to us Cassie! We're trying to save you from immense heartache. Take a look from the outside in- what would you tell a friend in this situation?)
This reminds me of people that say they want "something casual" but then don't we all want something casual until it's the right person???? If you're special enough to them, they want to be with you! You deserve to be special!!!
I dont know, I feel like it doesn't even seem like hes an 'ex'. You were casually dating and he didn't want a relationship with you. I know it sounds harsh but clearly he did want a relationship because he went on to have one with someone else. If he tells you hes broken right away, he is grooming you to be prepared for poor behavior.
Hi, Cassie, I'm a 60 year old woman (from Austria) and I have followed your channel for many years....you're doing a great job and you are a very sweet person. If you want my advice read on, if not, don't. 1. Please don't start again with this man. It will hurt you a lot. You are worthy of having someone who truly loves and supports you. Once you find out how to love yourself you will attract a man like this. 2. Please try Keto Diet (you can also do it vegan) - its not only about loosing weight or keeping a healthy weight - it also helps with skin issues and most of all Depression! Also prevents cancer, Alzheimer, etc. - Sugar is really really bad for the body and mind. I started it when I was 58 and felt old and tired - and now I feel like newborn. My mind is fresh again and my memory too, my skin is better than 10 years ago and episodes of depression almost disappeared. Before you start, inform yourself very well- there are youtubechannels (of doctors, dr.berg for instance....) 3. Go for a walk once a day, everyday, for one hour. No need to run or something. Make about 8000 to 10000 steps outside in the fresh air. That also clears your mind and helps with depression and all kinds of self struggles. I am saying this not because I want to patronize you or tell you you're not good enough. I just wish I had known it when I was younger, because I struggled too - a lot. I wish you all the best - and a good life.
This is the second date and it’s already this complicated, do what makes you happy but I think you should definitely be guarded with him and for good reason it sounds like. If he’s not into you as much as you seem to be into him, walk. Listen to your gut, even if it’s telling you something you don’t want to hear.
My ex husband started "conditioning" me on our first date... about how broken he was... we dated for almost 2 years before we got married and he cheated the whole time and continued to cheat through the marriage. By the end of the marriage I didn't even trust myself to order a meal in a restaurant. We divorced and less than a year later he wanted to get back together so we did. I thought everything wrong in our relationship was my fault. We got remarried in just a few months. Less than 2 months later I found out he was cheating again. That was finally enough for me to be secure in the fact that I didn't deserve all of the emotional abuse. Ex's are ex's for a reason. It's so rare that someone really realizes what they had and puts in the work to override their nature. Of course this video is like 4 weeks old now... so I'm praying that you are doing well and you're happy and things work out way better for you!! You deserve the world and someone who loves you deeply and completely!
Is this the guy that she was madly in love with, dated for a while, and has held every date since up to this guy's standard and they have all fallen short??
I certainly have taken back an ex. One too many times. We “dated” on and off for 5 years. Looking back I realize how foolish it was. He wasn’t worth it. I don’t think taking back an ex is always bad. But when they start acting and treating you the same as before, it most likely won’t be good. I wish you all the best!!
If seeing you without making is enough to make you feel like you're 'sabotaging' things with this guy it doesn't sound like he's that promising of a guy?
Ok so he broke up with Cassie cuz his ex wanted him back and now that his ex dropped him he’s lonely and going back to 2nd best Cassie. Nooooo 😩 girl don’t do it
There is so much internalized misogyny in this video that it was painful to watch. Please think long and hard about where some of these beliefs about dating stem from and try to re-frame that thinking. He is benefiting off of you viewing the relationship from this point of view.
Yes. It's really easy to become addicted to drama. I've learned this year that a good way to navigate in life and relationships is to look for the things that you and the people around you are addicted to in order to feel good. It can be anything from hard work, no sleep and self-destructive patterns to compliments and hugs.
Is he broken or bored? And are you just bored? Sometimes the way you describe encounters with these men is like a weird project your trying to make better or test out...you can't treat people like a game or school project as you see fit, but then be suprised when hes being wishy washy with you. Honestly you're throwing red flags too just as much as he is. You're both not sure what you want and are wasting each others time imo.
My fiancé was also “broken” by a previous relationship, but he made a very deliberate decision to heal in order to be the man I needed. Not just by saying he would, but by showing me every single day that he was. Now 5 years in, he’s still the person I fell in love with, I didn’t try to fix him, I didn’t hope he’d come around, he just made the effort to become the best version of himself because he wanted to. For himself first, then for me. You deserve that. Please don’t give more of yourself away to people like this. If he wanted to he would.
Girl I have BEEN WHERE YOU ARE. But please be careful when you talk down about other women you don’t know anything about and haven’t heard all sides of the story.. Men lieeee. And if he’s talking shit about her.. he probably talked shit about you too. To me, it sounds like that relationship ended, and now he’s bitter and lonely. Love you and your videos. Guard your heart!! 💛
Yesssss. My ex made everyone believe I was unstable, when in reality the reason I was unstable is because of his constant abuse, cheating and lying. He conveniently left those details out.
i took back an ex and it was possibly one of the worst decisions I have ever made tbh. REMEMBER CASSIE: taking back an ex is like reading a book a second time and expecting a different ending!! it never changes!!
It sounds like this guy wants a therapist more then a girlfriend. Or he's just looking for a longterm booty call...... Sorry to be blunt. But people will show you who they are when you first meet them. Believe it.......
I seriously hope you value the people who are commenting on this video enough to listen to, or at least entertain, their opinions. You say they are your tribe, and valued. If you can't listen to them, then watch this video over and over and tell me where true excitement, happiness, and joy are a part of any of this. Listen to yourself.
He was talking about his ex, and about being wounded? Woe is him? Oh gawd, grow up. I would stop dating right there. Move on. Thats such a lame, red flaggy thing to say by anyone not 14-18 years old frankly (because they say all kind of foolish things) but people in their 30s and beyond? God no.
Cassie, I wish you nothing but the best. I read a quote about life being hard. Being single is hard, being in a relationship is hard. Choose your hard.
We don’t all have to be strong and confident but I sense a low self esteem here that will put you into toxic relationships. He is already the one calling the shots
I was like you who tried to fix people who didn't want to be fixed. I wanted someone to understand me and be wholesome with me like I did for them; but in the end, I was so tired of being disappointed with them and myself. It's fine to give second chances, but don't blame yourself for being forgiving. It's okay to keep trying, but remember to try something different if it didn't work out the first time. Don't look back anymore for someone who took it all for granted. Please be kind to yourself and always strive to make yourself happy. A stronger self-love would carry you longer than letting your insecurities control your relationship. I hope you find happiness and peace of mind.
Cassie, Honestly just stop dating and work on yourself, you are acting desperate. And when people are desperate they make poor choices. To answer your question in the comments, No. I would NEVER take back a ex, a ex is an ex for a reason. I have more self worth than to allow a man to treat me like garbage a second time around.
This is the one of the few videos I gave a thumbs down. It's horrible to see you be so weak. Weak to him. He has all the control and he probably knows it.
Me too. I just can't even like this video. It's a little infuriating because of allllll the men around, she is choosing to stick by a man who dumped her, got with someone else, came back and then acts 'off' again. If I ever saw someone wanting to make their life hard, it's this it.
So he dated someone else (read: someone he liked more) after claiming he wasn't ready to date? Oh, Cassie. Run. Pull the band-aid off before it gets worse. Yikes, this isn't going to end well. The fact that you wanna punch his ex without knowing the situation is alarming to say the least. You don't need to be his defender or his therapist. Value yourself a little more than that and realize that he's incapable of being in a healthy relationship.
Girl you absolutely need to stop watching those dating videos that advice is so toxic!! Open communication is always the way to go! Every person is different so you can't generalise that dating advice (aka the whole they need to feel like a hunter thing, YOU ARE NOT PREY!!!)
relationships shouldn't start with overanalyzing. i've seen friends do this, too. you either feel it or you don't. if things aren't just right for YOU, it's not right. the pain of "trying to make it work" when you're starting out is a sign that you should move on.
I’m a little confused because I thought he broke up with you because he didn’t want to be in a serious relationship but then he dated someone after you?
I did it 3 times with the same person. It was dumb in retrospect but I guess necessary for me to learn the lesson that taking back exes is almost always a mistake.
I’m going to be blunt here-you don’t have to accept this treatment from men because you’re a bigger girl or anything else you might feel about yourself. I know you struggle with some self confidence stuff but you are way too grown to be accepting treatment like that from men who aren’t worth it. He’s not worth the time or chance. Just some advice from a bigger girl who also used to date the worst men and would constantly be bouncing between bad relationships/situationships and getting on dating apps: just stop for a while and take a significant break. I would also recommend therapy. It’s nearly impossible to find the right person and a healthy relationship without working on your own self worth first. But don’t fall for this guys BS...he is damaged and he is not going to be worth fixing. He wants to use you because you’re easy to use, so don’t allow it. The best thing I ever did was take a few months off of dating and do therapy and work on my self confidence and physical health. The right man truly fell into my lap and it’s the easiest, healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. You CAN find someone who loves you easily just the way you are, without the games or questions in your head. They exist and you will find them when you care for yourself first. I hope you don’t let this guy get to you (I know this was on Halloween) and truly take time for yourself and your own mental health.
Whenever a guy says “I’m not ready for a relationship” the YOU is silent! He just doesn’t want a relationship with you girl, iv been in this situation and when I look back I want to slap myself because it was sooo obvious! Men are EXTREMELY simple creatures if he wanted to he would, they know if they want to date you after like a week so if it hasn’t happened it won’t, you deserve better! 😊
Yup I did the same shit on and off for 7 years. I wish I never cried over him, or sent texts first, or went over at 3 or 4 am. The first girl he dated seriously, he married, but he was the biggest player in my entire social world. When I met my husband, he was willing to do anything to keep me. It really is that simple.
Girl dont you dare!! He leaves you, and comes back in worse condition!? Um no thank you. That is not your mess to clean.
I totally needed to hear this as well😂 thank you for the wake up call
Seriously! If he wasn't ready for a relationship before... now that he's more 'broke' , he isn't any closer to being ready!
Absolutely
👏👏👏👏👏👏
Yesssss Heathiecat. And he left her, got with someone else, then came back. Just a whole heap of no no and no.
I really don’t like the term “broken person” it seems to be an excuse for people to behave poorly.
We’re all human, we all have problems.
💯
Totally agree with u. It becomes an excuse to treat someone poorly
Yes!! Its also a narcissistic tool to make you feel bad for them and make excuses on their behalf.
Yes! It's an excuse to not attempt to solidify decisions or feelings that involve other people other then themselves. Its such a cop out. If someone recognizes they're " broken" in other terms, need to work on themselves. They usually do that without a s/o, because atleast they are aware of the ramifications of how it can make the other person involved feel.
I'm not gonna tell Cassie she's set up for heart break, but imma tell her not to accept that bullshit. He can work on himself and they can be cool.. but if they want any chance of dating again, its not while hes trying to shake out the shit his ex poured onto him..if that's really the case, that is.
Period! My ex used that card on me to behave like a jerk
It shouldn't be this hard Cassie. When it works it just will.
I agree
Exactly
I agree. The thing that surprises me most about my current relationship is how easy it’s been. Not to say everything is perfect because obviously nothing is, but we’ve been together six years and have been together 24/7 since March shut downs and I don’t think there’s any other person on earth I could spend this much time with without getting sick of them.
Have you dated? The "fish" are crap. lol
Yes.
So he was so broken and not ready to be with anyone that he broke up with you and broke your heart but then without fixing himself, went and dated another girl who he claims fucked with him so the villain is the other girl, not this guy???? come on Cassie, be smarter than this. He broke up with you the first time because he wasn't into you and because he sucks. Then he tried to date someone he liked better, got dumped by her (prob because she recognized that he sucks and is just a walking red flag), and now he is trying to villainize that girl to you so that you feel bad for him enough to overlook that he's literally lying to you constantly, refusing to fix his issues, and is just generally a scheme-y scummy dude?
i agree 1000%
she’s such a catch and deserves sooooooooo much better
Text book narcissist...
the villainizing of the ex is the WORST red flag. placing blame elsewhere and not acknowledging your own wrongdoings.
I agree 100%. He broke up with her because he "wasn't ready" but then found someone else? That right there tells you everything you need to know. That said, we've all made mistakes, loved someone who didn't love us back, been in relationships we knew weren't good for us, etc... It's easy to give advice when you're looking in from the outside, but I understand how difficult it is when you're actually in it. She's beautiful and sweet and has a lot going for her. She deserves the kind of love she's willing to give.
Yes he seems pretty sleazy
I thought he ended things with you the first time bc he wasnt ready for a relationship? Then he gets into a relationship with someone else? That tells you a lot right there. Run girl run. Let him be.
He is unfortunately going to break her heart, again
Can't agree more
You’re going into this situation talking about heartbreak. Think about that.
Such a great point, because it means logically and rationally you KNOW it's not going to work and that he's not a great guy but because you're attracted to him you're gonna look past the fact that he's so CLEARLY going to KNOWINGLY cause you pain. When someone WARNS you off them... BELIEVE them! He's gonna turn around some day and say "hey I TOLD you who I was, this in on YOU" and lo and behold you're the crazy clingy ex
Exactly. Ugh so cringey to watch.
Sounds like he is laying out the foundation to be able to make excuses and not a suitable boyfriend. He is going back to you as his safe place to make himself feel better. The last ex killed his confidence and he knows you will bring him back. Be careful of his underlying reasons for wanting you back.
Two years is a long time to wait to get in touch with an ex. I'm wondering if he's been watching cassie's videos, seen the dating struggle, heard himself mentioned, and knew she was still carrying a torch for him.
If anybody contacted me after two years, I'd hang up faster than a speeding bullet, (that's an old Superman phrase).
@@peggygreeby5065 lol once a guy ghosted me and blocked me on facebook and then tried to get back in touch about a year later... yeah no fucking thanks lol
I was literally thinking the exact same thing because I’ve been there. I was that girl on and off for 15 yrs and one day he met the girl he’s still with now and simply walked out the door and never looked back. That was 5 yrs ago and it still hurts. I think about all the time I wasted, the opportunities I shut down, ect... “Could have beens” are tough.
Your so smart, the way you see right through it. This guys a piece of crap.
He reeks of narcissism. Even if I didn't already think she is an empath.
“It’s hard to see red flags through rose colored glasses”
I’ll say this. If someone is emotionally ready, willing, and able to be in a relationship with you, it will happen with relative ease.
Don’t see this man as a “project.” Major red flag. Not to sound awful, but he won’t come around, or, he’ll break your heart. Spare yourself, please
I agree. When it’s the right one, she’ll know. It’s as easy as BREATHING. (Most of the time). Especially right off the bat.
Yes! I thought the struggle was how things were supposed to be until I met my awesome husband. I'm still amazed at how much I don't have to guess and worry anymore.
@@StephieGsrEvolution Yes! I was in what I thought was a “relationship,” only to realize I was being used for... you know. I also realized that I should not have to make excuses or “stand by him to help him not be broken.”
When I met my husband of 15 years he was ready, I was ready, and I said to myself, “THIS is how is ‘should’ be!” It was easy, no “wait and see,” no “I can help him be into me,” etc.
Cassie, don’t be a “standby gal.” He’ll feel better and guess what? He’ll probably find someone else. Harsh words, but please be kind to yourself.
@@merylbonderow5993 Cassie is one of those (like me) that it takes a while to learn the hard way that we give up our power too easily. We leave everything to the guy because we're pleasers, helpers.
@@StephieGsrEvolution Exactly!
From what I gathered last time, he wasn't ready for a relationship and/or had issues which was preventing him from getting into a relationship with you, so he left. After he left, he met someone else, who he was ready to have a relationship with, (see where I'm going with this?). He wasn't ready for a relationship with you, but along comes another girl, and he's in a relationship with her in a hot minute. Then she supposedly screwed him over, and they broke up.
If he got to the place where he was relationship ready before, why didn't he contact you then, instead of getting into a relationship with someone else?
Now, even though he's 'broken', he contacts you again, with issues, and on the second date he's pulling away. RUN! He's just playing games with you.
And I bet that ex might be reaching out to him or he is and she’s probably responding and that’s why he’s pulling away from her again!
@@itsnotme5370 yeah, that thought crossed my mind too.
I hate when guys villianize their ex because you have no way of hearing the other girls side of the story. Most of the time if he does this he wants you to feel bad for him and understand why he can't get himself together. But I have learned the hard way that one day you will be that crazy ex he villianizes to another poor girl who sees his potential. Good luck Cassie, I will follow your adventure whatever you choose.
Very true!!
Omg I was going to write the same thing! Wish I could give this a million likes!
That is a major red flag for me in a man!
Any man that claims his ex is crazy or a bitch to his new partner for sympathy, 🤮🤮🤮
I was giving this guy the benefit of the doubt until she said he told her he was broken and that his ex was a bitch or whatever.
Those are manipulation tactics girl! Eew
100% this!!!
Exactly! Like why do you want to punch his ex? Sounds like manipulation
100% true! Never trust a man that throws his ex under the bus to prove to you how "it is not his fault"....run away, right now....
Omg I say this with love. You need to grow up. You dont have to save anyone, if he really likes u he’ll be by your side. And the ex thing... really? You wanted to punch her because? Do u have any idea what he told her about u after u broke up? Seriously... learn to be alone and then think about letting someone in... best of luck.
yeah she seems really immature as far as relationships go
Running late because he was studying korean after breakfast lmaooo sure he was.
AussyAngelx Right?? lol soo specific and just kinda odd.
If he truly was excited to see you he would of been counting down each minute.
@@moominmay I read another comment saying they’re so curious now what he looks like! 😁
Trust issues huh?
@@emmad9799 I think he’s probably more attractive than the men that usually give her attention and that’s why she was hanging on for dear life
'working through stuff' is just an excuse not to commit...yeah he's available as much as he wants to be available...
Exactly.
"Working through stuff" means "fucking around"
Agreed. If he really wanted a relationship with her, he'd be in one... and working on his issues at the same time.
Girl...nooooooooooo. Let him go. Let him work on this baggage without you. Easier said than done, I know.
My dad's advice to me is when a man wants to be with you he will, it won't be complicated. You'll know
Preach, girl!
That's true. If they're low on time, then he'll drop his buds and make plans with you with the little time he has. He will call, text and do everything to make sure you aren't looking for someone else because he wants to lock you down. Men are pretty simple when it comes to this. If they want you, they'll show you.
Yup. If he cared, he’d make an effort. It’s just that simple.
* same goes for all genders :)
and sometimes it can be complicated if the person is immature..
I remember this guy who got very upset when I started dating my current boyfriend. Apparently, he wanted to be my bf all of a sudden after giving me all the signals that he wanted me for nothing more than a booty call.
Definitely a good thing I never ended up with him!
I know this is super shallow of me but I’m dying to see what this guy looks like! Anyone else?? Lol
Yes. If he is this much trouble, he'd better be handsome.
yeah! of course! 😅😅
Lol...yeah it is shallow, but I agree totally. Gotta have something going for you.
Yes
i'm very curious about his height lol
How can you allow him to disrespect you so much? He breaks up with you cause he's not ready and gets into the relationship right after that. Can't you see he didn't want to date YOU?
He knew you'd take him back. Until he finds someone else he wants to date.
100%
Isn’t this relationship too new to be this complicated?
Cassie, I'm saying this for your own good: you say you want to punch his ex. This is exactly what he wants. He wants to paint his side of the story so that you feel sorry for him and feel anger towards this other woman. What exempts you from the same treatment? Somewhere in the world is a woman who has never met you but dislikes you based on lies this same guy undoubtedly told her about YOU. Nobody is perfect, but if you get burned on a stove, maybe you shouldn't go touching the same hot burner that burned you the first time. You are pinning your happiness on the illusion of what you want this guy to be.
If I liked someone, I would not be late bc i was learning Korean after breakfast.
Wait, he broke up with you last time because he didn’t have the capacity for a relationship but then dated another girl?? Naw sis. This ain’t it.
DROP HIM!! If he says he’s broken, BELIEVE HIM AND WALK AWAY
Yes, Cassie shouldn’t waste her time
Yep. When someone tells you who they are, BELIEVE them. He's warned her already about not being ready and how "messed up" he is. Good, off you go and sort yourself out. It isn't women's jobs to fix effed up men. They never wanna do the emotional labour themselves.
The bottom line is he is an ex for a reason. He is sniffing around because you are comfortable and this is nothing but an ego stroke for him. Personally I would move on and close that door. People do not change.
Be careful gurl. If he’s bashing his ex-girlfriend to you, more than likely he’ll bash you to the next girl.
He prob called her psycho to his now ex, when she texted him several months after the breakup when she wanted to show him her stitch work piece that she finished. He prob said "oh it's just a text from this girl who was obsessed with me, I don't know why she texted me, I broke up with her 6 months ago."
@@calliew311 exactly. Guys like that just can’t be trusted.
He definitely sounds like a narcissist who lost his last supply and it's trying to get with someone he thinks he can manipulate and get a new supply from.
THIS!
absolutely
i agree
relationships shouldn’t be this hard! they should come naturally and the person should validate you and ease your worries
he broke your heart because he “wasn’t in the right place for a relationship”
and then went on to have a relationship with someone else
got his heart broken and now he’s back and even more broken because of this other girl, that he actively chose over you?
red freaking flags 🚨
you deserve so so so much better ..🧡
Yeah
For real
red flags is an understatement
Maybe let's not advocate (even sarcastically) for violence against women who present as romantic competitors or obstacles (or for any reason)
100%. Also, if he’s using his ex as an excuse for his “broken” personality, no doubt he’s going to be saying the exact same thing about Cassie (if he already hasn’t).
Exactly. It’s pathetic.
Yeah she’s very immature. There are always two sides to a relationship, and Cassie is only hearing one side. Reminds me of an ex I dated who said all his ex girlfriends were crazy...😒 red flag!
Maybe let's just not say anything to avoid offending people like you.
She’s giddy talking about him. Headed for a big heartbreak. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice....
Hold on hold on....
So he was too emotionally "damaged/unavailable" to be with you before. Yet... he got into another relationship. Now he's back again, and NOW he's been hurt by the most recent ex, so he's even more "unavailable". This guy is screaming red flags to me.
If he truly is hurt or whatever then he needs to take time to heal on his own. Why did he reach out to YOU if he doesnt want to explore those feelings. You want someone who is emotionally mature.
He is the only one responsible for healing himself. He is sounding like he may have NPD. These are classic red flags. You are clearly very empathetic and he sees that in you. These people are masters at appearing so charming, intelligent, cultured, BUT hurt...just very hurt. So they meet people who want to "help" them. He is a big boy... we have all been hurt. Somehow these people are always thr victim and they are so good at making people feel sorry for them. I married one and this is so so so similar to how he was in the beginning. Please beware.
Bingo!
Definitely sounds like a narcissist looking for a new supply.
👌👌👌
Him talking to you about the person he dated after you is a warning sign for me. Tread lightly my friend.
I thought the same. Clearly he’s not over her
Wait, HE LEFT YOU TO GET BACK WITH AN EX!?!?! Cassie, nnnoooooo. Please, no
Right?? Like he likes to cycle through his "safety" girlfriends??
Yes, I took an ex back once. Yes, it was a mistake. Huge, massive mistake. People show you who they are. Believe them the first time.
How easy it is to blame the ex... he talks badly about her, probably not a good sign.
Agree
Totally! Plus you KNOW he talked the same way about Cassie when he started going out with his now ex. Pff, this guy is a piece of work.
Let him be an Ex. He needs to figure himself out before he tries to make a relationship work.
If he’s not willing to open up and work on himself, he’s not going to be there for you.
Edit: talk to him about fixing himself. If he wants you around while he’s working on it (therapy) you’ll be there but you don’t need him to play games with you.
Cassie, with anyone that I’ve ever dated who was worth dating, I never had to think twice about who was contacting who, or whether or not I felt like I could tell him I wanted to see him. It just felt completely natural. The games are only for those guys who aren’t worth dating.
This really does seem like such exhausting work.
Preach.
This shouldn’t be so anxiety inducing for you. You shouldn’t need any games or tips for it to work. He’s the problem not you. He should stay an ex
If someone makes you feel uncomfortable asking them to spend time with you, it’s a huge blinking sign that that’s not the person for you.
Him saying he was not ready for a relationship but getting a gf after just straight out says he was not into you , dont make up excuses for him you deserve better
EX: small word. Big meaning.
My stance at age 42: there’s a reason they’re an ex and it usually comes up again as to why they were an ex.
You always say you hate the games, but you keep on playing them. Just don't play them perhaps?
If he's telling you that he's broken, then he is not ready to heal. He needs to be an ex. To me, I had an ex that told me all of that, he tried working through it... but labelling yourself as broken is not fixing anything... It's not healing. I think he needs to be by himself, Cassie. It's gonna be a long and bad road to be on right now. This is why you should never date an ex... the same issues come up time after time.
Well.... I dated my ex and we have been married for 3 years now 🙂
@@AnetteL.Nielsen in most cases. You got lucky.
It is totally dependant on the individual. We don't know people's stories, and people do actually change for the better sometimes. I used to say that you can't date an ex, it's like reading a book you already read. It's never the same the second time. I was wrong. I was scared to feel a different way. Very protective of myself. I've gotten older, and changed alot myself. I try not to be judgemental. I take every situation as a brand new one. I try to give people a fair shake, and just enough rope for them to hang themselves 😹👍
@@deannahampton8906 again, IN MOST CASES. I have been there and seen people go through it. Yes, some do get married, cool. But thats like 1%.
Experts even say not to.
@@AnetteL.Nielsen Don’t be surprised when you don’t last though...
Basically it sounds like you just want his attention. Doesn’t matter how he perceives you just as long as he’s around. good attention, bad attention, as long as he gives you any attention. He’ll eventually find someone he’s interested in and leave you hanging. You’re too good for that. Don’t allow anyone to use you and take advantage of you. Maybe a counseling appointment about this might help you.
Remember you’re too good for this.
So its seems to me as though last time he said "hes not in a place to date ANYONE" THEN DATED SOMEONE.... really concerns me. *my opinion* He should stay an ex, hes using you (a person who really liked him) as a confidence booster. If he didn't really want to date you then he doesn't now and just wants to hear you say how great he is.
That's just my opinion I have been in the literal same situation more times then I care to relive.
I agree, just the fact that he dated someone else after that shows he was lying to her when he broke up with her the first time. And who knows, that relationship probably went bad for whatever reason and he went back to Cassie for a rebound to feel better about himself. Yikes.
He wants to date and have a gf he just doesnt want to date her.... it's sad and it sucks and like I said I've been there 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Yes she’s an ego booster for him. The guy is a red flag walking and she feels lonely. He’s using her and I hate to see anyone think they Deserve this little.
People will treat you the way you let them. You do have control over that. And the ex thing? Really? He was not so great to you before he got back with her, right? That’s not her it’s him making excuses. I don’t need to know you to tell you that you deserve better because everybody deserves better than that.
Most men who say “my ex was crazy” really mean “my ex didn’t like it when I was mean, manipulative, and abusive so she left me, but I can’t say I was the problem or you won’t fall for my tricks.”
I’ve had exes do that exact thing! If you ask his previous partners (and listen to them, not just be angry BECAUSE they’re his ex), they’ll probably all have something in common that he’s done to them.
Come on, Cassie, I’ve been watching you for years, you’re WAY smarter than this. 2020 has ALL of us really lonely, tired, and confused. You’re jumping into this too eagerly for how he treated you before. Please be cautious. You’re young and you’ll find someone, but take the time to work on yourself and it’ll come to you naturally. Also, you shouldn’t be feeling scared like you said you are. Not a good sign.
There is someone worse than the guy that ghosts you. What's worse is the guy that leaves and comes back, leaves and comes back- over and over, because he will RUIN. YOUR. LIFE. 👏 if you let him. You will look back years later and wonder what the heck you were thinking. What the heck did you even see in him. How the heck did you not know and realize your own worth. (Speaking from experience here.....I know it's not easy when you're caught in the moment and emotions, but please listen to us Cassie! We're trying to save you from immense heartache. Take a look from the outside in- what would you tell a friend in this situation?)
Ruin your life and waste your time😪 thank god I was strong enough to cut off my ex and take control!!
This reminds me of people that say they want "something casual" but then don't we all want something casual until it's the right person???? If you're special enough to them, they want to be with you! You deserve to be special!!!
I dont know, I feel like it doesn't even seem like hes an 'ex'. You were casually dating and he didn't want a relationship with you. I know it sounds harsh but clearly he did want a relationship because he went on to have one with someone else. If he tells you hes broken right away, he is grooming you to be prepared for poor behavior.
Yesssss 👌
"grooming you for poor behaviour" SPOT ON!
Hi, Cassie, I'm a 60 year old woman (from Austria) and I have followed your channel for many years....you're doing a great job and you are a very sweet person.
If you want my advice read on, if not, don't.
1. Please don't start again with this man. It will hurt you a lot. You are worthy of having someone who truly loves and supports you. Once you find out how to love yourself you will attract a man like this.
2. Please try Keto Diet (you can also do it vegan) - its not only about loosing weight or keeping a healthy weight - it also helps with skin issues and most of all Depression! Also prevents cancer, Alzheimer, etc. - Sugar is really really bad for the body and mind. I started it when I was 58 and felt old and tired - and now I feel like newborn. My mind is fresh again and my memory too, my skin is better than 10 years ago and episodes of depression almost disappeared. Before you start, inform yourself very well- there are youtubechannels (of doctors, dr.berg for instance....)
3. Go for a walk once a day, everyday, for one hour. No need to run or something. Make about 8000 to 10000 steps outside in the fresh air. That also clears your mind and helps with depression and all kinds of self struggles.
I am saying this not because I want to patronize you or tell you you're not good enough. I just wish I had known it when I was younger, because I struggled too - a lot.
I wish you all the best - and a good life.
This is the second date and it’s already this complicated, do what makes you happy but I think you should definitely be guarded with him and for good reason it sounds like. If he’s not into you as much as you seem to be into him, walk. Listen to your gut, even if it’s telling you something you don’t want to hear.
I think the fact that you are anticipating this heartbreak speaks VOLUMES.
I hope you watch this back and revaluate your readiness to date
Never 👏🏾believe👏🏾 EVERY👏🏾 bad👏🏾 thing 👏🏾the 👏🏾guy 👏🏾says👏🏾 about👏🏾 his 👏🏾ex.👏🏾. NEVER.
That could be you someday.
My ex husband started "conditioning" me on our first date... about how broken he was... we dated for almost 2 years before we got married and he cheated the whole time and continued to cheat through the marriage. By the end of the marriage I didn't even trust myself to order a meal in a restaurant. We divorced and less than a year later he wanted to get back together so we did. I thought everything wrong in our relationship was my fault. We got remarried in just a few months. Less than 2 months later I found out he was cheating again. That was finally enough for me to be secure in the fact that I didn't deserve all of the emotional abuse. Ex's are ex's for a reason. It's so rare that someone really realizes what they had and puts in the work to override their nature. Of course this video is like 4 weeks old now... so I'm praying that you are doing well and you're happy and things work out way better for you!! You deserve the world and someone who loves you deeply and completely!
I'm SO glad that you got out of that toxic place. You deserve better
I’m so sorry! Thank goodness it’s over now
Is this the guy that she was madly in love with, dated for a while, and has held every date since up to this guy's standard and they have all fallen short??
Normal communication between adults isn't bewildering, isn't humiliating, and isn't angst-ridden...if it is...red flags 🚩🚩🚩
Sorry if this seems harsh, but this whole thing doesn’t sit well with me.
It shouldn’t be this complicated.
Just remember that one day YOU will be called the crazy one.
Don't give this boy any more chances. You are worth more than his empty promises!
Aaand that's exactly what he is... a damn immature boy! 💯
I certainly have taken back an ex. One too many times. We “dated” on and off for 5 years. Looking back I realize how foolish it was. He wasn’t worth it. I don’t think taking back an ex is always bad. But when they start acting and treating you the same as before, it most likely won’t be good. I wish you all the best!!
If seeing you without making is enough to make you feel like you're 'sabotaging' things with this guy it doesn't sound like he's that promising of a guy?
Ok so he broke up with Cassie cuz his ex wanted him back and now that his ex dropped him he’s lonely and going back to 2nd best Cassie. Nooooo 😩 girl don’t do it
There is so much internalized misogyny in this video that it was painful to watch.
Please think long and hard about where some of these beliefs about dating stem from and try to re-frame that thinking. He is benefiting off of you viewing the relationship from this point of view.
Wait , I thought he wasn't ready to date and that's why he broke up with you but he got into a relationship after?
This whole thing is screaming major borderline/codependency issues to me.
This is frustrating to listen to
Girl, aren’t you like 30? This is nonsense.
The right person won’t make you feel this on edge and anxious. Trust me, been there done that.
"feelings, they hurt, but they're also nice" now if that isn't a big ole MOOD.
Yes. It's really easy to become addicted to drama. I've learned this year that a good way to navigate in life and relationships is to look for the things that you and the people around you are addicted to in order to feel good. It can be anything from hard work, no sleep and self-destructive patterns to compliments and hugs.
My god this boy sounds all kinds of messed up...
Is he broken or bored? And are you just bored? Sometimes the way you describe encounters with these men is like a weird project your trying to make better or test out...you can't treat people like a game or school project as you see fit, but then be suprised when hes being wishy washy with you. Honestly you're throwing red flags too just as much as he is. You're both not sure what you want and are wasting each others time imo.
My fiancé was also “broken” by a previous relationship, but he made a very deliberate decision to heal in order to be the man I needed. Not just by saying he would, but by showing me every single day that he was. Now 5 years in, he’s still the person I fell in love with, I didn’t try to fix him, I didn’t hope he’d come around, he just made the effort to become the best version of himself because he wanted to. For himself first, then for me. You deserve that. Please don’t give more of yourself away to people like this. If he wanted to he would.
Men are not complicated. If they want you they WILL make it happen. Excuses of not wanting a relationship or ex’s will not be a issue.
Girl I have BEEN WHERE YOU ARE. But please be careful when you talk down about other women you don’t know anything about and haven’t heard all sides of the story.. Men lieeee. And if he’s talking shit about her.. he probably talked shit about you too. To me, it sounds like that relationship ended, and now he’s bitter and lonely. Love you and your videos. Guard your heart!! 💛
Yesssss. My ex made everyone believe I was unstable, when in reality the reason I was unstable is because of his constant abuse, cheating and lying. He conveniently left those details out.
So true!
i took back an ex and it was possibly one of the worst decisions I have ever made tbh.
REMEMBER CASSIE:
taking back an ex is like reading a book a second time and expecting a different ending!! it never changes!!
It sounds like this guy wants a therapist more then a girlfriend. Or he's just looking for a longterm booty call...... Sorry to be blunt. But people will show you who they are when you first meet them. Believe it.......
👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Exactly. She is signing up for role of therapist and emotional punching bag.
I seriously hope you value the people who are commenting on this video enough to listen to, or at least entertain, their opinions. You say they are your tribe, and valued.
If you can't listen to them, then watch this video over and over and tell me where true excitement, happiness, and joy are a part of any of this. Listen to yourself.
If they're blaming the ex for their emotionalissues, it usually wasn't the ex that was the problem
He was talking about his ex, and about being wounded? Woe is him? Oh gawd, grow up. I would stop dating right there. Move on. Thats such a lame, red flaggy thing to say by anyone not 14-18 years old frankly (because they say all kind of foolish things) but people in their 30s and beyond? God no.
Cassie, I wish you nothing but the best. I read a quote about life being hard. Being single is hard, being in a relationship is hard. Choose your hard.
This is never going to work because you're telling him how he has to act so anything he does just wont be genuine.
We don’t all have to be strong and confident but I sense a low self esteem here that will put you into toxic relationships. He is already the one calling the shots
I was like you who tried to fix people who didn't want to be fixed. I wanted someone to understand me and be wholesome with me like I did for them; but in the end, I was so tired of being disappointed with them and myself. It's fine to give second chances, but don't blame yourself for being forgiving. It's okay to keep trying, but remember to try something different if it didn't work out the first time. Don't look back anymore for someone who took it all for granted. Please be kind to yourself and always strive to make yourself happy. A stronger self-love would carry you longer than letting your insecurities control your relationship. I hope you find happiness and peace of mind.
Taking back your ex is like taking your underwear out of the hamper and putting them back on; it's gross lol...
Cassie, Honestly just stop dating and work on yourself, you are acting desperate. And when people are desperate they make poor choices. To answer your question in the comments, No. I would NEVER take back a ex, a ex is an ex for a reason. I have more self worth than to allow a man to treat me like garbage a second time around.
This is the one of the few videos I gave a thumbs down. It's horrible to see you be so weak. Weak to him. He has all the control and he probably knows it.
Me too. I just can't even like this video. It's a little infuriating because of allllll the men around, she is choosing to stick by a man who dumped her, got with someone else, came back and then acts 'off' again.
If I ever saw someone wanting to make their life hard, it's this it.
So he dated someone else (read: someone he liked more) after claiming he wasn't ready to date? Oh, Cassie. Run. Pull the band-aid off before it gets worse. Yikes, this isn't going to end well.
The fact that you wanna punch his ex without knowing the situation is alarming to say the least. You don't need to be his defender or his therapist. Value yourself a little more than that and realize that he's incapable of being in a healthy relationship.
There are some great books out there on anxious / insecure attachment
Girl you absolutely need to stop watching those dating videos that advice is so toxic!! Open communication is always the way to go! Every person is different so you can't generalise that dating advice (aka the whole they need to feel like a hunter thing, YOU ARE NOT PREY!!!)
relationships shouldn't start with overanalyzing. i've seen friends do this, too. you either feel it or you don't. if things aren't just right for YOU, it's not right. the pain of "trying to make it work" when you're starting out is a sign that you should move on.
I’m a little confused because I thought he broke up with you because he didn’t want to be in a serious relationship but then he dated someone after you?
I’ve taken back an ex before and he broke my heart a second time. I can’t do it a third time, my heart can’t handle it again.
I did it 3 times with the same person. It was dumb in retrospect but I guess necessary for me to learn the lesson that taking back exes is almost always a mistake.
I’m going to be blunt here-you don’t have to accept this treatment from men because you’re a bigger girl or anything else you might feel about yourself. I know you struggle with some self confidence stuff but you are way too grown to be accepting treatment like that from men who aren’t worth it. He’s not worth the time or chance. Just some advice from a bigger girl who also used to date the worst men and would constantly be bouncing between bad relationships/situationships and getting on dating apps: just stop for a while and take a significant break. I would also recommend therapy. It’s nearly impossible to find the right person and a healthy relationship without working on your own self worth first. But don’t fall for this guys BS...he is damaged and he is not going to be worth fixing. He wants to use you because you’re easy to use, so don’t allow it. The best thing I ever did was take a few months off of dating and do therapy and work on my self confidence and physical health. The right man truly fell into my lap and it’s the easiest, healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. You CAN find someone who loves you easily just the way you are, without the games or questions in your head. They exist and you will find them when you care for yourself first. I hope you don’t let this guy get to you (I know this was on Halloween) and truly take time for yourself and your own mental health.
He's not worth it, especially if he talks shit about his ex to you. That' s a huge red flag.
Bottom line: When its right, it won't be this hard/confusing/dramatic.
Wait a minute.. he broke up with you because he wasn’t ready for a relationship but he got with someone after you..?????
Whenever a guy says “I’m not ready for a relationship” the YOU is silent! He just doesn’t want a relationship with you girl, iv been in this situation and when I look back I want to slap myself because it was sooo obvious! Men are EXTREMELY simple creatures if he wanted to he would, they know if they want to date you after like a week so if it hasn’t happened it won’t, you deserve better! 😊
Yup I did the same shit on and off for 7 years. I wish I never cried over him, or sent texts first, or went over at 3 or 4 am. The first girl he dated seriously, he married, but he was the biggest player in my entire social world. When I met my husband, he was willing to do anything to keep me. It really is that simple.
Girl if they make out that the ex is crazy... run, usually it’s the men that make them act crazy with their actions