Titanic Propeller Jumper With Sound Edit

#jamescameron #titanicmovie #titanicsinking
The videos of me throwing rocks down the cliff resemble the scene from Titanic where a man strikes the propeller when he jumps to his death. I realized that the sounds from my original video fit well into that scene. I added my cliff video so people can see where the sound is coming from. It's a coincidence that my video resembled this scene. My inspiration behind this video came from something that you would not imagine. There's a dark side to my original video. The details may be disturbing. During the time that I recorded the video I was actively suicidal. I filmed it during the spring of 2019. I threatened to jump off of this cliff. It's a lethal height. I tried to figure out whether to jump onto or over the "propeller". I wondered which impact would cause greater destruction. They were both equally difficult choices. That's why I threw rocks and other objects down the cliff. The self-preservation instinct resisted my urge to kill myself. I could not voluntarily choose to die.
I've had symptoms of depression ever since age 16 as far as I can remember. During the fall of 2015 I began losing interest in my favorite activities for no apparent reason. I was on antidepressants at the time. They were prescribed to me in 2012. I became suspicious towards the antidepressants. I blamed them directly for causing my depression. The late half of the 2010s were my worst years. During the winter of 2015 I began considering suicide for the first time. In 2019 I was desperate to end my own life. I threatened to kill myself by whatever means possible. My primary intention was to jump to my death. Negative life experiences have aggravated my depression and suicidal thoughts.
I'm doing better than I did during those years. Just because I'm doing fine at the moment does not mean that I don't have depression. To this day I continue to have symptoms of depression. Relapsing into depression is one of my greatest fears today. Depression can be extremely brutal. It can cause pain equivalent to being physically tortured. It feels like prison. It’s terrifying. To this day I’m still struggling to recover.
/ richard.gusmanov.16
/ bus_manova