You Cannot Change or Control Your Thoughts (Podcast Ep 207)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- “Change your thoughts, change your life!”
NO.
This is a thing we hear all the time in self-help and personal development but in all honesty, it's nonsense. Let’s talk about the fact that you cannot stop, control, or change your thoughts through force.
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Drew, I recently found you on TH-cam. What an incredible help you are to me. I have been dealing with anxiety pretty much my entire life. Watching your podcasts, getting your daily emails, visiting your website, and more has been incredibly helpful. I love your down to earth, tell it like it is, and your authentic approach to anxiety and anxiety recovery.. Thank you so very much 🙏
It saddens me that you don't have thousands of subscribers, you are a literal life saver,as someone who struggles with Gad and panic attacks your videos have helped me immensely thank you for all you do ,I imagine it's tons of work believe me it doesn't go unnotice..link to your book plz
Hi Teresa. Thank you for the kind feedback. I appreciate it and I'm happy that I can help in some way. I'd have way more subscribers if I started talking about tapping or putting ice on your wrists to stop panic attacks, but I can't do that. LOL
All the ways to get my books can be found on my website at theanxioustruth.com
You are the real deal, Drew 👍🏻
In one youtube video, I learnt that categorising different thoughts such as catastrophising, jumping to conclusions, fortune telling, daydreaming like this help us detect overthinking conciously and then maybe it can be stopped naturally. It works for me sometimes.
This is true! It does help to understand those cognitive distortions and to work on recognizing when you're engaging in them. "Oh, I'm doing it again." is a powerful statement when learning a new way to relate to thoughts. Great comment! :-)
Thanks for your video. In an age when manifestation, visualization, power of the mind, etc. seem to be so prevalent, it’s actually very relieving to know we cannot change our thoughts. There’s a lot of stress and pressure added onto the situation when we’re led to believe that we can change our thoughts. Letting it be and accepting it just feels right.
I get that much of that advice is good intentioned. I don't think any proponent of manifestation is out to cause harm. However, that message can wind up being harmful in our community so I try to set the record straight as often as I can. Thanks for the feedback Daniel!
This episode really changed my week, I’m a new subscriber and this was the first one i heard. I’m coming back to it for a second listen to reinforce the things you said, your words really spoke to me. You are brilliant and i hope you make a tonne of money from this career you’re building, you deserve it!
Welcome Ciara! I'm glad you're finding the content helpful in some way, and thank you for the kind words. :-)
Thank you for another great topic, I found that it was somehow helpful seeing you talking in an outdoor setting and using the umbrella example was super helpful too!!
It gets so boring always shooting these in the office. Glad you enjoyed the different scenery! :-)
Thanks, my Dad likes to tell me to stop thinking about my anxiety and my stress and health anxiety. It's really hard to deal with.
A good response might be "I can't stop thoughts. You can't either, Dad. You're just better at moving on from them when they happen, and I'm working on that!"
Hello!
Thank you!
Thanks for another excellent presentation. I have your book (s) really helpful and life changing. You are doing amazing work, thank you!
Hi Simon. You're very welcome. I'm glad I can make a difference for you. :-)
12:52 was so accurate because my head literally feels like it’s being hit with a bat 😂
This is great advice also for loved ones & care providers who want us to "just snap out of it." Instead, maybe they should encourage movement & activities.
"Just snap out of it" is brutal advice, isn't it? I think loved ones and caregivers can encourage the incremental behavioral challenging of avoidance and retreat habits. That might be more widely applicable than the concept of movement and activities, but those two things would certainly be part of this in many situations. Thanks for the comment!
OMG...the method I was trying before to calm the limbic( aka amygdala etc) system.....(which is a big method for those working with chronic illness)....was literally to say Stop Stop Stop with hand gestures and body movements, then to logically go "this is just the automatic amygdala flight fight", then to intensionally go into good thoughts, visualizations twice for 20 min....Then do this exercise multiple times a day ...also in mini quick versions. But I literally felt like I had to constantly monitor and watch out for the thoughts so that I could apply this method so that my amygdala would eventually calm down. But yeah, literally STop stop stop.....I think there was a part of it about accepting....but the almost nonstop having to visualize.....Zoinks. It felt like a frantic monitoring....having to catch your thoughts....then try to change it all with happy visualizations...Yikes
That part where you got caught in a monitoring cycle is exactly why "stop and change" is terrible advice. I know you're working hard to change that, Cara. Keep going. :-)
Great video thank you 🙏
There are 'therapists' out there, the majority, who are in it for the money, to say I am a therapist and are purely book, without sensitivity and experience of self reflection. I had one once who just wanted to go shopping and I stood shaking while she tried on clothing. Great....
Ouch. That is a horrible experience for to have with a helper. I'm really sorry you had to go through that.
Too true
How do you not have a mil subs?
HA! Good question. :-)
How do we stop believing those thoughts & feelings when they feel so overwhelming.
The change comes through action and by changing the way you relate to those thoughts and interact with them. You will still fear them and they will still feel very important and strong, but we work on changing our reaction to them and even when this is the case. So the change in "belief" comes over time. I hope this helps.
Authentic acceptance
@@TheAnxiousTruth thank you this helps alot ❤
I think we have to learn not to trust any of them
I’ve just stopped seeing a psychologist who insists on teaching distractions. She teaches psychology students. She wants to know why I appear frustrated with our sessions. I’ve tried distractions with panic attacks which have worked for me in the interim but don’t work in the long term. She’s asked me what she can do differently to help.
She could learn more about the mechanics of anxiety disorders and maybe view recovery as a learning and growing process rather than a "learn how to make myself feel better as quickly as possible" process. Many helpers want to make us feel better, which is really noble and appreciated, but it can lead them to completely dismiss the idea that the lessons in the challenges are valuable if we allow discomfort to happen. I don't blame her though. This type of approach is often a hard sell, even among therapists because they just can't be OK with allowing a client to feel bad even when they understand logically and academically that its an effective strategy.
How about doing a show on air hunger.
Episode 89 of the podcast.
theanxioustruth.com/breathing-and-breath-anxiety/
Is it the same with feelings?
That's a good question.
No, you cannot change your thoughts or feelings. The only thing you can change is what you DO. Which is Nothing, non-reaction. That in itself re-wires the brain over time to not associate thoughts, feelings, situations, with "danger".