girl i'm responding from tomorrow to say NOT YET please.. today is not it. honestly my bday is the 9th. i think the 8th or the 9th will be our best bet
There’s no “bad vibes” in this video, just real life. While I understand why you feel guilty about not being there for your dad, death is not always something you can predict or plan for. A lot of the time, all you can do is handle it where you can, however you can, the best you can, and you’re doing an amazing job with that from what I’m seeing here. Very sorry for your loss and trials Adam. It will get better. Much love from NYC 🩷
Very much this. When I lost my grandma, I couldn't go back to family to be with anyone and spent the next day at work, crying as I rang up customers. I didn't even get along with my grandma, but I hurt for the people who did, and who'd loved her. Grief is...intense. No matter who it's for.
"What I am mourning the most is that my dad has lost his mom" you are such a caring person adam. I felt this very same way when my dad lost his dad and it just hits you 10x harder knowing that. I really did feel it when you said that. Hope you allow yourself some time to get through this. Please dont feel pressured to post while you continue to grieve the loss unless posting helps you feel better
heavyyyyy on this, when my dad died almost 4 years ago now that WAS my mindset… the day after he died i went in for a job interview ,got the job and started work a week later.. I went to my college grinding full time and then a year passed it was the anniversary of his passing and I flew to Mexico to not only go to his grave but see it for the first time.. for some context he went to his hometown for a business trip when he passed so he was buried there and i wasn’t there for his funeral or nothing.. back to the point on his year anniversary when i saw his grave,it all became real and all the trauma and grief i “ pushed” through came crashing down at that moment and i collapsed to the ground yelling a type of cry and screams i have never experienced and never want to again… I definitely regret it a bit because I had went on autopilot and just kept going and my mental health probably would’ve been better if i had just allowed myself to just feel it.
My mom’s house burned down last night and she lost everything, including childhood memories and my diploma, valuable items, literally everything. It’s been a rough start. I’m sorry Adam, glad you’re taking care of yourself and I’m going to do the same while u talk❤
Good to have you back, Adam! I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard to lose someone so close to you and not be able to spend time with your family. I’m so excited for you in February though, I hope you have the best time at all the shows!
I lost my Daddy, my Pa-Pa & my Mom (grandma who raised me) ALL passed away in March. The hardest part is the couple seconds when you wake up & its not real till it hits you
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through it. If it's any comfort, I'm feeling a similar way, and this update has been a little glimmer for me today! Your videos feel like I'm on facetime to a chatty friend and far less alone 🩷
I’m so sorry for your loss Adam. I recently lost my grandma as well, which was my first loss of a close family member for me. I truly am not saying this to try and trauma dump/make it about me, but I’ve found it somewhat comforting to know others are going through the same thing as it’s been hard. I think it’s so weird to think tnis is a natural part of life everyone goes through, but I know we’ve got this mucker❤ please feel free to share all about your nana to keep her memories alive if that would help :). I can’t wait to meet you on tour and hope you can continue to heal and find peace
I don't celebrate New Years until February (aka Lunar New Year), so starting the new year in early January is _early_ tbh, from my perspective. Let yourself have the time that you need.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My grandma died on January 2 and it's been a rough start of the year for me as well. This was also my dad's mom and it's hard to see your dad lose a parent like that. For me, this was my last living grandparent. I'm 31 and I'm blessed to have had so many years with her. She was 95. Please don't feel bad for being away for the funeral. They sure did move fast and that's not on you. Wishing you love and support! 💜
So sorry for the loss of your granny Adam. Lost my grandpa last year the first week of January and it’s so shocking to lose a grandparent. Sending hugs ❤
I don’t know if you’re looking for solutions to the nightmares, but in therapy for recurring dreams I would write down the story of what happens in detail but then change the ending. then rehearse it for bed. it sounds silly but i’ve found it helps. Sending love to you and your family❤️
I loved what you said about “What I am mourning the most is that my dad has lost his mom”. I had the same feeling a couple years ago when my aunt died. The most awful part was that my mom lost a sister. I had some friends who didn’t understand why I was still having grief about it after I told them I wasn’t close with that aunt and it was really frustrating. It’s a different kind of mourning, but it certainly is one.
Thank you for talking about your dad's feelings in that regard. I always feel guilty putting it in the perspective of my mother instead of my own feelings. I still care about my grandma of course, but I know it's harder for my mother.
I’m so sorry for your loss Adam. Though I’m sure the start has been rough, I am hopeful with tour and other opportunities arising, you will begin to feel yourself and fulfilled again. Sending you lots of love. 💗
Watching this on your official first day of the year and I hope you’re having a great day Adam❤ my grandma, fathers mom, passed away as well and I really understand what you’re feeling for your dad. It’s hard. Hugs and have a great start to your year ❤
It can only go higher from here, Adam. My advice is to deal with the loss rather than push it back because from my experience, pushing pain back has always had those feelings coming back and hitting me when I least expected it. Hugs and support ❤
I started my New Year today too Adam. I think our year starts when we say. Stay true to you always, and fuck the rest. Much love and support, keep going!
Adam, much love for you and yours. Loss is never easy. Your video wasn’t a negative vibe. It was an articulation of VALID grief and loss. Your emotions, reactions, and any emotions in between is 10000% valid. Grief is hard. Especially when it’s at a point where you can not physically be there for support for loved ones. But, do not be hard on yourself about your not being there. Support does not have to be confined to purely physical measures. Simply holding space for your family (like your father, since you conveyed feeling bad about not being able to be there with him) to talk and remember the one your lost can still be just as comforting. It’s not always the path to, sometimes it’s the intention. I’m sure your family understands. Once again, much love from Canada. ❤️
i was in the same situation as you 5 years ago. around the same time and everything, i lost my grandfather at the beginning of the year. seeing my mom lose her dad, and how affected she was by it, made me heartbroken. sending my sympathies to you and your family during this hard time. it will get better. ❤
Adam, I can 110% sympathize with you. My first experience of losing a close family member was my great grandma when I was about your age. I was in school, dealing with some health issues, but also getting ready to do a semester at sea. I was very caught up in my own thing. I knew GG could die, but she was invincible in my mind...there's nothing like that first experience of loss no matter how much you prepare or don't. So, I understand not wanting to cry, but please PLEASE give yourself permission to cry for whatever reason WHENEVER you feel the tears coming. Also give yourself permission to smile, laugh and just be. Grieving the loss of a loved one is complex. It's not a straightforward line, it doesn't have a deadline or a destination, and you have to let yourself experience all of it. So take whatever time you need or don't, but remember that it's okay to not be okay. Also, I say we should all let go of this idea that every year has to be better and greater than the previous year. My 2024 sucked. I lost my dog who I raised from puppy hood to cancer a month before my birthday. A month before that my boyfriend of 6 years lost his mom to dementia, and a month before that, my best friend's fiance was in a fiery car crash 3 days after a camping trip we had together and almost died. 2023 I lost my grandpa who I grew up with. I wasn't able to go to his funeral and had to wait months before going to a memorial for him. 2022 was fine, 2021 was chaos, and 2020 was freaking 2020. 2019 I hustled myself to exhaustion and took that in to 2020, making 2020 even worse. 2018 I lost my grandma who was like a second mom to me just a few months after my boyfriend and I started dating. I got the news of her passing during a layover in the Seattle airport. 2017 is a blur because in 2016 I fell through the floor at work and got trapped in the basement a month after abdominal surgery and developed PTSD. I could go on, but the point is, we never know what a new year has in store for us, no matter what we have planned, and we just have to be prepared to roll with the punches. Surround yourself with good people, let go of what you can't control, and be prepared to forgive yourself and others. Cheers to a new year. Let's do this shit.
You gotta follow your gut and do what you feel is best for you. Sometimes people won’t understand where you’re coming from or you’ll feel guilty. But ultimately you’ve got to just do what you feel is best for you. Enjoy your travels! much love and support, happy new year!
i'm so sorry! going through something similar rn, some people in my family just always seem active and then certain things hitme, i was not quite expecting... ... mostly healthy and right now i just cannot quite stop these random painful crying sessions every few hours... Keep being kind to yourself!
The New Year can start whenever you want it to.❤ You just focus on you. The Gregorian Calendar has it on the first day of Spring and I love that. Things are blooming. Real growth begins. January things are typically cold. And dying. 😂 I like the concept of celebrating a new year when the earth is "waking" up. No bad vibes in this video at all. It's like chilling with a friend. Again, I'm so very sorry for what you and your family is going through. Sending you all love and prayers ❤
I lost my grandma a few years ago three days before Valentine’s Day. I live in New York and she was across the country from me. I got a flight scheduled (which was so incredibly hard to go last minute. Everything was so booked). The night I was going to go, I got a stomach bug. I got incredibly lucky again and was able to reschedule the flight for the next night because I did have a little time to spare before missing the funeral. The night of the rescheduled flight our only snow storm of that winter happened and all flights got canceled. I missed the funeral and had to watch it on a live stream. I listened to my mother sobbing over the loss of her mother. I absolutely relate to these feelings of guilt and grief. The nightmares and anxiety that I still go through are so intense. I’m so so incredibly sorry Adam. Look for her in the breeze, the rain, in people’s eyes, in their kindness. She’s all around you. She knows how much you want to be with her and your family. She knows.
I got sick on New Year's Eve and had to cancel my plans, so I'm on to start the year today! I'm so sorry for your loss, Adam. It's never easy. Don't forget to take care of yourself 🤍
I know it isn’t much but I’m sending my condolences to you and your family, Adam. I’m so sorry for your loss. Take as much or as little time off as you need. We’re here for you ❤
Adam I’m so sorry. It’s so good to see you taking care of yourself. A few weeks ago I found out my friend passed away in August. It’s been a rough start to this year
My boyfriend’s dad passed away on the 1st. I’m so heart broken. I can’t bare seeing him in so much pain. I’m so so sorry for your loss and I’m sending all of my love.
i lost my grandmother a few months ago and it has been so so hard. seeing my family suffer is heartbreaking. and i miss her so much myself too. sending so much love adam
Sincerest condolences to you and your family 🫂 your granny sounds like a very loved woman and now all of us will honor her as well. Happy new year, may the rest of it be much brighter ❤
Kicking off the year on the epiphany isn’t too bad ❤❤I had a few hit new years in a row in my twenties so I started putting less stock in nye/nyd. It’s actually helpful, I just chuck resolutions and focus on keeping myself together. Mental health and physical health with that can be so poor at the end of the year so best to put it front and center. Sadly you cannot change or build your life around the what ifs , you will never get anything done. I am so so sorry for your loss. My grandmother on my Dad’s side was the first go and yes being the child and watching your parent go through it fucking sucks. About 15 yrs later my mom’s parents went in may and then the following Valentine’s Day. One small silver lining is my dad going through it helped my mom a lot. He even stayed overnight with my grandma so she wasn’t alone and then in feb held down the fort while mom was there for her dad. All this to say, it’s not always the people you expect to be there at someone’s end. It may not always be you but, you can be there for him as life goes along. It’s not like grief lets us go after a week. It can be stressful but I hope you are taking best care of yourself ❤❤ Oh and just a suggestion, if you’re having issues with the winter wind try doing extra toner layers 2-3 times in a row and then go with the serums n moisturizer. An overnight mask can also help keep in moisture. Water sucks 😅
Sending you all the love. I lost my grandpa 3 months ago and also watched his funeral on a livestream… It was tough having a front row seat of everything. Be gentle with yourself Adam, good plan extending your trip so you’re not watching in the airplane. This was also my first loss ever, hit me like a truck.
Grieving is so complex. I am so so sorry Adam, my sister died on New Year’s Eve 2 years ago and I just felt a shift in my entire existence..I just knew. But ironically, this year’s Eve I felt so fucking ready. As broken as I feel I’m ready to put this shit back together. And it’s okay if it doesn’t take just days to get through, you got this biiiiitch!! We love you Adam!!!
Adam I can’t resonate with you more. I felt devastated about losing my nanny, I was also on holiday, thousands of miles away when she passed, so I was told via FaceTime by my mum. But I can’t even begin to explain how sad and upset it made me feel to think “my mum has lost her mum”. I cry everytime I think about it. I think because we are both so close with our mums, the thought of losing them and being in that position is heart wrenching. Sending you all the love. Xxx
I'm so sorry for your family's loss, and for yours, Adam. Your first death in the family is always difficult. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to be mad, it's okay to feel however you feel. There is no roadmap for grief, no matter what people tell you. You're allowed to grieve for yourself, and for your dad, and for everyone who loved her. Sending you so so much love.
Sorry for the loss of your Gran, Adam 💔. I know how you’re feeling, I lost both of my grandpas on both sides of my family within months of each other last year. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. 🙏🏻❤️
My grandfather has had a year of health scares, starting with him breaking his back. He recently signed a DNR after having a heart attack and it's been hard on our family. Like you with your dad, I feel a lot for my mom losing a parent. It's hard getting older, knowing that one day that will be me with my mom. When my mom goes, I'm climbing in the coffin with her I swear 😂 Sending you love during this time of grief ❤
That sounds incredibly similar to what happened to my grandfather. Breaking his back and a heart attack. Unfortunately, he didn't make it. It'll be 5 years this summer.
We're all here for you, Adam. I'm sending your family all the love and well wishes. Holding space for you and your loved ones.💜 Have a safe trip! I'm so excited to see what this year has in store for you with your tour and whatever else you have planned!!! 💜💜
So sorry for your loss it is never easy and never gets easier its the one thing in life you really can't prepare for because it can happen in any moment at any time in any manner . My thoughts and prayers are with u and ur famliy..
Lost my mom, grandma, and childhood dog in less than two years. When you have that first death in the family, it really shocks you how fragile life is. Like, not even one’s own mortality is scary imo, but the mortality of everyone you love? That’s terrifying. It doesn’t help that we’re such a death denying society, and it makes it harder to accept and deal with death. My condolences, Adam, and I hope you’re taking care of yourself.
I'm so so sorry for your loss, Adam. I lost my grandma about a year and a half ago and it's my first family member that I lost and she basically raised me. There was a lot of family drama before she passed and it made me realize she wasn't as happy as I thought she was in her marriage life, etc. Sucks.
OMG Adam i am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Sadly I learned how bad death is when I was 9 when my Daddy died. Then my bio mother was murdered the day after I turned 19, but losing my Pa-Pa who raised me at 24, my childhood truly ended. I gotta say that it never goes away, it becomes part of you. Just remember that as long as we remember them, they're never truly gone. My heart & prayers to you & your family🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I completely empathize with your feelings of guilt for not being there for your dad. The unpredictability of death is something that cannot be anticipated or prepared for. Often, the best approach is to manage the situation as best as you can, given the circumstances, and I commend you for the effort you are putting forth in this difficult time. My deepest condolences for your loss and the challenges you are facing, Adam. Things will improve in time. I've been in your shoes before and I understand the pain you feel and let's restart the year tomorrow.
Sorry for loss .Try to hang in there. You and your family are in my prayers. If you are taking anything for sleep it might be contributing to your bad dreams to. I was taking meds and my dreams wasn't scary as much as strange. ❤❤
Death is a part of life, but it’s hard. For a few days, it feels impossible. For months it won’t feel fair. And for years you will long for her. But forever you will have those memories, and she will have her peace. I’m sorry for your loss, one griever to another, don’t tuck these feelings away because they only come up stronger. Talk about her and cry and do what you need. Hugs
My dad unexpectedly passed at the start of November and it’s been so hard starting this new year without him. I was just starting to move when I found out, had to drop everything and fly to Florida to make all the arrangements we needed. When I came back I had under two weeks to pack up all my shit and deep clean my apartment. It was all such a blur of grief and fatigue but after that period it’s gotten a little easier every day. Life will be life, we’ll start the real new year tomorrow with you. Much love Adam 🩷
oh adam, i'm so sorry to hear about your loss, but i hope your new start to the year is absolutely amazing!! we're here for you diva, so glad to see you back
I totally feel you on the weird feelings of grief. I lost my last two grandparents in 2021 & 2022, and the knowledge that my parents are now both orphans and are "next up" aka now among the older generation in my family was a WILD realization to make. These thoughts are the ones that truly force you grow up and mature into your next phase of adulthood, and your life is forever changed into a new normal without certain people in it anymore. Acknowledge those feelings, make peace with them if you can, and cherish the fleeting moments you have with loved ones.
I'm so sorry for your loss Adam. I've literally been paralyzed with back pain since New Years Eve and have been feeling sorry for myself because "what a way to start the year" but you're so right, the year starts when we decide it does, and it starts when we're ready to start it on the right foot 💕
I lost my father on Thanksgiving last year. Even though it’s never on the same day but the feelings are going to be there. Sending you so much support and good wfor the days to come! ❤
About halfway through the video now, but just wanted to go ahead and comment. First of all, there is no need to apologize to us for your lack of content recently. Life happens. And despite that being the case, you are allowed to be sad and mourn your loss. At the same time, you can feel like the year WILL get better (and it will), and try to have a positive attitude. Anyway, SO sorry for the loss of your granny, Adam. My grandma, mom's mom, passed away at the end of the Summer last year. And we lost my papa, dad's dad, in the Summer of 2022. It's always so hard to lose grandparents as our time with them seems so incredibly limited. But the love you have for them and their love for you will never go away. Just take your time and be there for your dad, Adam. Lastly, as for everything else and the drama in Brighton, it will pass. You have a BIG year ahead of you, so take things as they come, and look forward to continuing to grow and mature in your life and the changes that will come with that. And, as always, us muckers will be here to listen and watch whenever you need to debrief ❤ .
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My grandma passed in summer and watching my mom go through the process of losing her mom, selling her house, rehoming her cat, watching her grieve, ALL that was the worst part. We're a very small family and neither of my parents have siblings (nor do I) so she was moving through the process with just dad and I. My dad and I. Who both have two parents when my mom lost both already... I felt guilty that I couldn't have been there to help my grandma (it's a pretty dark situation), but my poor mom... That time genuinely brought me so much closer to her and further away from my dad. It goes by fast, but eventually we all made it out. One more thing, nothing about this is your fault at all. Time makes choices no matter what we have to say about them. The muckers have got your back. Your year starts as soon as time decides to be kinder to you.
Death is not, and imo, never will be easy or something you can plan for. Take as much time as you need, Adam. As someone who recently lost his godmother within the last two months, I feel you. If it's any comfort, I live by a motto that the person is not really dead even after they, yknow, are no longer with us PHYSICALLY. That as long as you remember them, speak of their memory, that they never truly leave us, that they're never completely absent. At least, that's how I see it. Stay safe, happy and healthy the best you can, much love yall !! ^^
I really hope that things get better for you, you deserve some piece and dreams rather than guilt and nightmares. The new year starts tomorrow, make it count.
I lost my guinea pigs two days ago I feel you when u say it’s not a great start to the NY Not to compare our deaths but death is never fun I didn’t see my pigs death coming I loved them so much. Loved everything that came with having them, even changing their box. I love happy they got when I’d change it and give them their treats. I’ll miss them so much breaks my heart I was at work when it happened. Still have a lot of exciting things up to come this new year so I hope it all goes well Love you Adam sending you much love❤ take your time with your loss we’ll understand 🫶 take care of you mucker
it doesn't matter that it's an inevitable part of life. it's okay to be sad and let the sadness out. you don't have to apologize; you're grieving and processing. 💙
Adam, I also lost someone in my family actually on New Year’s Eve last week. I can completely understand how it feels to try to be happy and looking forward to the new year while also grieving and trying to work through that at the same time. Sending you so much love during this time and hoping the absolute best for you and your family while you go through the grieving process. ❤
thank God for an adam update - I broke my leg on the 30th and will be in the hospital most of Jan. love ur videos Adam and will be watching each video ten times this month ✨
Welcome to the new year! I've had a couple of these new years in a row, and trust me, it does get better! Usually indicative of a lot of beneficial change. You got this!
I'm sorry for you're loss, It's been 3 or 4 years since my grandparents have passed and it always hurts during the holidays. I feel so bad for you, grandparents are a treasure. The holidays aren't always the "most wonderful time of the year" and they especially not wonderful with a family death, pet death, friend death, or general mental health problems. We, the Muckers, love you so much Adam.
I made it a point to take my son to visit both sets of his living great grandparents this holiday season. I'm not close to my grandparents at all but my Dad really wanted us all to come down when they were staying with him & it really hit me that they are his parents for the first time. So much that I planned a weekend trip to take my son to see his great grans on his Dads side (we are divorced and his Dad isn't very close with his family) because life is so fleeting. No regrets. Sending you so much love Adam!
My grandma passed away the day before Thanksgiving. I have been not only mourning the loss of my grandma, but I’m mourning my mom’s loss of her mom, and her best friend. It breaks me up in an instant, I’m so sorry Adam.
Hey Adam I’m experiencing something similar. I just lost my grandad late December, and he is everything to me. It’s been a hard start to a new year, and I’ve never gone through something like this. It’s been a lot emotionally. Grief is a struggle, but get through it the best you can. I wish I had seen my grandad more leading up to this, even though I never expected it to happen. He passed near Christmas, I miss him. But I hope you get through! Stay strong. Also super close to his cat who had to go to a new home, he’s with family, but just miss the kitty too! I hope to go visit him one time.
I was present when my dad lost both his father and mother. And my Mum, when she lost her mum, I was on holiday. I was sad my grand parents passed, but my heart broke for them losing their parents. Then, my father passed away in July (4th-a US holiday) 2018, and my Mum passed away in 2022, all before I was 40, and it's so rough. You think these people are going to live forever. But their passing reminded me to just live life to the fullest. Bless your parents and family, and may your grandmother dance in the graveyards with your family that went before her. She'll live on in the hearts and memories of all who knew her. ❤❤
Adam, I lost my first grandparent, my grandpa unexpectedly in June and it still eats me up. Nothing can prepare you for it, especially being a first loss. Sending you love and good vibes for 2025 ❤
My sympathies to you Adam. My grandma had been sick for awhile now. She died on the 3rd. I feel you and I’m here with you in the grieving process. I miss and love my grandma so much.
I love you adam, I am truly sorry for your loss…the only thing I WOULD like to say is take your time allow yourself to cry when you feel it… remember all the good memories and just feel great full to have known such a beautiful soul…
New Year's Eve my bearded dragon passed away, figured I'd go out to some friends that live 40 minutes away out in the middle of nowhere and party, car breaks down around 10pm. New years I learn my mom's stepmom is passing away three states away, a day or two goes by things seem okay and then my car breaks down again after I pay $300 to my car payment. This year has started rough for many but what matters is how we deal with it and react. Please remember anyone who is reading this that yes this doesn't define you're year but it's okay to feel upset be kind to yourselves.
You have my Deepest & Most Sincerest Sympathies 😞🕊️ I lost my Grandparents 1yr apart & it's been 3yrs since they passed but it still feels like Yesterday. My 💓 goes out to You & Your Entire Family ... May She RIP 🕊️
adam i'm so sorry for your and your family's loss. you were trying not to cry in the video, but i hope you allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels natural to you off camera. love to you and your family from nc
The "Let's restart the year tomorrow" is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you Adam
I‘ll also join you in starting tomorrow.
Yes please! This has been awful so far. We are starting the new year tomorrow!!!!!
I’m with you! Thank you so much!♥️♥️♥️
Girl me too! Been a bad start for me as well. I wish you all the very best lets get back on track to kick 2025's ass! 🥰
girl i'm responding from tomorrow to say NOT YET please.. today is not it. honestly my bday is the 9th. i think the 8th or the 9th will be our best bet
There’s no “bad vibes” in this video, just real life. While I understand why you feel guilty about not being there for your dad, death is not always something you can predict or plan for. A lot of the time, all you can do is handle it where you can, however you can, the best you can, and you’re doing an amazing job with that from what I’m seeing here. Very sorry for your loss and trials Adam. It will get better. Much love from NYC 🩷
Well said! ❤
Very much this. When I lost my grandma, I couldn't go back to family to be with anyone and spent the next day at work, crying as I rang up customers. I didn't even get along with my grandma, but I hurt for the people who did, and who'd loved her. Grief is...intense. No matter who it's for.
This!!
"What I am mourning the most is that my dad has lost his mom" you are such a caring person adam. I felt this very same way when my dad lost his dad and it just hits you 10x harder knowing that. I really did feel it when you said that. Hope you allow yourself some time to get through this. Please dont feel pressured to post while you continue to grieve the loss unless posting helps you feel better
You don’t have to just push thru. You can sit in this moment and allow yourself to grieve.
heavyyyyy on this, when my dad died almost 4 years ago now that WAS my mindset… the day after he died i went in for a job interview ,got the job and started work a week later.. I went to my college grinding full time and then a year passed it was the anniversary of his passing and I flew to Mexico to not only go to his grave but see it for the first time.. for some context he went to his hometown for a business trip when he passed so he was buried there and i wasn’t there for his funeral or nothing.. back to the point on his year anniversary when i saw his grave,it all became real and all the trauma and grief i “ pushed” through came crashing down at that moment and i collapsed to the ground yelling a type of cry and screams i have never experienced and never want to again… I definitely regret it a bit because I had went on autopilot and just kept going and my mental health probably would’ve been better if i had just allowed myself to just feel it.
My mom’s house burned down last night and she lost everything, including childhood memories and my diploma, valuable items, literally everything. It’s been a rough start. I’m sorry Adam, glad you’re taking care of yourself and I’m going to do the same while u talk❤
im so sorry ❤
i’m so sorry, hope you’re all safe and well ❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. She will rebuild and come back better than ever. ❤
I'm so sorry that happened. Wishing you so so much love and healing and easier times.
Good to have you back, Adam! I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard to lose someone so close to you and not be able to spend time with your family. I’m so excited for you in February though, I hope you have the best time at all the shows!
I lost my Daddy, my Pa-Pa & my Mom (grandma who raised me) ALL passed away in March. The hardest part is the couple seconds when you wake up & its not real till it hits you
I know. *hugs* ❤
❤️✝️
So much loss at once! I'm so sorry. 😢
this broke my heart to read, sending love & healing your way, so sorry for your loss 🩷
I’m so sorry. 😢 Lost one of my parents in August. Much love to you.
People put so much pressure on having a “perfect” start to the new year. I think that this year will be amazing for you 💗
please make sure you’re okay before ever giving anything to us we care about you before anything else please make sure you’re as okay as can be
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through it. If it's any comfort, I'm feeling a similar way, and this update has been a little glimmer for me today! Your videos feel like I'm on facetime to a chatty friend and far less alone 🩷
Hugs and support for you, love. So sorry for your loss. Very proud of you for the positivity!
I’m so sorry for your loss Adam. I recently lost my grandma as well, which was my first loss of a close family member for me. I truly am not saying this to try and trauma dump/make it about me, but I’ve found it somewhat comforting to know others are going through the same thing as it’s been hard. I think it’s so weird to think tnis is a natural part of life everyone goes through, but I know we’ve got this mucker❤ please feel free to share all about your nana to keep her memories alive if that would help :). I can’t wait to meet you on tour and hope you can continue to heal and find peace
Been going through the exact same thing as my nana died two days ago aswell💔 sending lots of love, light and healing in these somber times😔❤️🩹
I don't celebrate New Years until February (aka Lunar New Year), so starting the new year in early January is _early_ tbh, from my perspective. Let yourself have the time that you need.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My grandma died on January 2 and it's been a rough start of the year for me as well. This was also my dad's mom and it's hard to see your dad lose a parent like that. For me, this was my last living grandparent. I'm 31 and I'm blessed to have had so many years with her. She was 95. Please don't feel bad for being away for the funeral. They sure did move fast and that's not on you. Wishing you love and support! 💜
So sorry for the loss of your granny Adam. Lost my grandpa last year the first week of January and it’s so shocking to lose a grandparent. Sending hugs ❤
I don’t know if you’re looking for solutions to the nightmares, but in therapy for recurring dreams I would write down the story of what happens in detail but then change the ending. then rehearse it for bed. it sounds silly but i’ve found it helps.
Sending love to you and your family❤️
I loved what you said about “What I am mourning the most is that my dad has lost his mom”. I had the same feeling a couple years ago when my aunt died. The most awful part was that my mom lost a sister. I had some friends who didn’t understand why I was still having grief about it after I told them I wasn’t close with that aunt and it was really frustrating. It’s a different kind of mourning, but it certainly is one.
Thank you for talking about your dad's feelings in that regard. I always feel guilty putting it in the perspective of my mother instead of my own feelings. I still care about my grandma of course, but I know it's harder for my mother.
I’m so sorry for your loss Adam.
Though I’m sure the start has been rough, I am hopeful with tour and other opportunities arising, you will begin to feel yourself and fulfilled again.
Sending you lots of love. 💗
Watching this on your official first day of the year and I hope you’re having a great day Adam❤ my grandma, fathers mom, passed away as well and I really understand what you’re feeling for your dad. It’s hard. Hugs and have a great start to your year ❤
It can only go higher from here, Adam. My advice is to deal with the loss rather than push it back because from my experience, pushing pain back has always had those feelings coming back and hitting me when I least expected it. Hugs and support ❤
I started my New Year today too Adam. I think our year starts when we say. Stay true to you always, and fuck the rest. Much love and support, keep going!
The year can begin whenever you want Adam! You can take some time to grieve and I’m so sorry for your loss ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss
Adam, much love for you and yours. Loss is never easy. Your video wasn’t a negative vibe. It was an articulation of VALID grief and loss. Your emotions, reactions, and any emotions in between is 10000% valid. Grief is hard. Especially when it’s at a point where you can not physically be there for support for loved ones. But, do not be hard on yourself about your not being there. Support does not have to be confined to purely physical measures. Simply holding space for your family (like your father, since you conveyed feeling bad about not being able to be there with him) to talk and remember the one your lost can still be just as comforting. It’s not always the path to, sometimes it’s the intention. I’m sure your family understands. Once again, much love from Canada. ❤️
i was in the same situation as you 5 years ago. around the same time and everything, i lost my grandfather at the beginning of the year. seeing my mom lose her dad, and how affected she was by it, made me heartbroken. sending my sympathies to you and your family during this hard time. it will get better. ❤
Adam, I can 110% sympathize with you.
My first experience of losing a close family member was my great grandma when I was about your age. I was in school, dealing with some health issues, but also getting ready to do a semester at sea. I was very caught up in my own thing. I knew GG could die, but she was invincible in my mind...there's nothing like that first experience of loss no matter how much you prepare or don't.
So, I understand not wanting to cry, but please PLEASE give yourself permission to cry for whatever reason WHENEVER you feel the tears coming. Also give yourself permission to smile, laugh and just be. Grieving the loss of a loved one is complex. It's not a straightforward line, it doesn't have a deadline or a destination, and you have to let yourself experience all of it.
So take whatever time you need or don't, but remember that it's okay to not be okay.
Also, I say we should all let go of this idea that every year has to be better and greater than the previous year.
My 2024 sucked. I lost my dog who I raised from puppy hood to cancer a month before my birthday. A month before that my boyfriend of 6 years lost his mom to dementia, and a month before that, my best friend's fiance was in a fiery car crash 3 days after a camping trip we had together and almost died.
2023 I lost my grandpa who I grew up with. I wasn't able to go to his funeral and had to wait months before going to a memorial for him.
2022 was fine, 2021 was chaos, and 2020 was freaking 2020.
2019 I hustled myself to exhaustion and took that in to 2020, making 2020 even worse.
2018 I lost my grandma who was like a second mom to me just a few months after my boyfriend and I started dating. I got the news of her passing during a layover in the Seattle airport.
2017 is a blur because in 2016 I fell through the floor at work and got trapped in the basement a month after abdominal surgery and developed PTSD.
I could go on, but the point is, we never know what a new year has in store for us, no matter what we have planned, and we just have to be prepared to roll with the punches. Surround yourself with good people, let go of what you can't control, and be prepared to forgive yourself and others.
Cheers to a new year.
Let's do this shit.
You gotta follow your gut and do what you feel is best for you. Sometimes people won’t understand where you’re coming from or you’ll feel guilty. But ultimately you’ve got to just do what you feel is best for you. Enjoy your travels! much love and support, happy new year!
i'm so sorry! going through something similar rn, some people in my family just always seem active and then certain things hitme, i was not quite expecting... ... mostly healthy and right now i just cannot quite stop these random painful crying sessions every few hours... Keep being kind to yourself!
I am very sorry for your loss. You sound like you have a great family and good support system. Sending condolences to you and your family
Sending you all the love and healing. I hope you find the comfort and peace that you are seeking this year. 💙
My deepest condolences.... ❤ I can feel you. I know it hurts... But grief is active and grief is love. All my thoughts are with you and your family.
Love you Adam 💝. My condolences. You’re a strong diva~ this is your year and I’m so proud of you! 💞💞💞
I'm so sorry for your loss, Adam. Wishing you so much love and healing.
I’m so sorry for your loss Adam 😢. One of my folks passed in August; I miss them so much. Sending you love from the Rocky Mountains. ❤
The New Year can start whenever you want it to.❤ You just focus on you. The Gregorian Calendar has it on the first day of Spring and I love that. Things are blooming. Real growth begins. January things are typically cold. And dying. 😂 I like the concept of celebrating a new year when the earth is "waking" up.
No bad vibes in this video at all. It's like chilling with a friend. Again, I'm so very sorry for what you and your family is going through. Sending you all love and prayers ❤
I lost my grandma a few years ago three days before Valentine’s Day. I live in New York and she was across the country from me. I got a flight scheduled (which was so incredibly hard to go last minute. Everything was so booked). The night I was going to go, I got a stomach bug. I got incredibly lucky again and was able to reschedule the flight for the next night because I did have a little time to spare before missing the funeral. The night of the rescheduled flight our only snow storm of that winter happened and all flights got canceled. I missed the funeral and had to watch it on a live stream. I listened to my mother sobbing over the loss of her mother. I absolutely relate to these feelings of guilt and grief. The nightmares and anxiety that I still go through are so intense. I’m so so incredibly sorry Adam. Look for her in the breeze, the rain, in people’s eyes, in their kindness. She’s all around you. She knows how much you want to be with her and your family. She knows.
I got sick on New Year's Eve and had to cancel my plans, so I'm on to start the year today! I'm so sorry for your loss, Adam. It's never easy. Don't forget to take care of yourself 🤍
I know it isn’t much but I’m sending my condolences to you and your family, Adam. I’m so sorry for your loss. Take as much or as little time off as you need. We’re here for you ❤
Adam I’m so sorry. It’s so good to see you taking care of yourself. A few weeks ago I found out my friend passed away in August. It’s been a rough start to this year
My boyfriend’s dad passed away on the 1st. I’m so heart broken. I can’t bare seeing him in so much pain. I’m so so sorry for your loss and I’m sending all of my love.
I’m sorry my love. Be there for your dad, Ik he will love and appreciate it so much. Hope your new New years go great ❤
i lost my grandmother a few months ago and it has been so so hard. seeing my family suffer is heartbreaking. and i miss her so much myself too. sending so much love adam
tbh ive had a rough start of the new year too :'3 i hope everything can work out fine for you, and anyone going through a rough patch ♡
Sincerest condolences to you and your family 🫂 your granny sounds like a very loved woman and now all of us will honor her as well. Happy new year, may the rest of it be much brighter ❤
Kicking off the year on the epiphany isn’t too bad ❤❤I had a few hit new years in a row in my twenties so I started putting less stock in nye/nyd. It’s actually helpful, I just chuck resolutions and focus on keeping myself together. Mental health and physical health with that can be so poor at the end of the year so best to put it front and center.
Sadly you cannot change or build your life around the what ifs , you will never get anything done. I am so so sorry for your loss. My grandmother on my Dad’s side was the first go and yes being the child and watching your parent go through it fucking sucks. About 15 yrs later my mom’s parents went in may and then the following Valentine’s Day. One small silver lining is my dad going through it helped my mom a lot. He even stayed overnight with my grandma so she wasn’t alone and then in feb held down the fort while mom was there for her dad. All this to say, it’s not always the people you expect to be there at someone’s end. It may not always be you but, you can be there for him as life goes along. It’s not like grief lets us go after a week.
It can be stressful but I hope you are taking best care of yourself ❤❤
Oh and just a suggestion, if you’re having issues with the winter wind try doing extra toner layers 2-3 times in a row and then go with the serums n moisturizer. An overnight mask can also help keep in moisture. Water sucks 😅
Sending you all the love. I lost my grandpa 3 months ago and also watched his funeral on a livestream… It was tough having a front row seat of everything. Be gentle with yourself Adam, good plan extending your trip so you’re not watching in the airplane. This was also my first loss ever, hit me like a truck.
Grieving is so complex. I am so so sorry Adam, my sister died on New Year’s Eve 2 years ago and I just felt a shift in my entire existence..I just knew. But ironically, this year’s Eve I felt so fucking ready. As broken as I feel I’m ready to put this shit back together. And it’s okay if it doesn’t take just days to get through, you got this biiiiitch!! We love you Adam!!!
Adam I can’t resonate with you more. I felt devastated about losing my nanny, I was also on holiday, thousands of miles away when she passed, so I was told via FaceTime by my mum. But I can’t even begin to explain how sad and upset it made me feel to think “my mum has lost her mum”. I cry everytime I think about it. I think because we are both so close with our mums, the thought of losing them and being in that position is heart wrenching.
Sending you all the love. Xxx
Condolences to you and your family. Take the time you need to heal but don’t be hard on yourself for the things you can’t do. Tomorrow is a new day ❤
So sorry for your loss. Its hard losing a loved one. Keep your head up mother mucker 😊
I'm so sorry for your family's loss, and for yours, Adam. Your first death in the family is always difficult. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to be mad, it's okay to feel however you feel. There is no roadmap for grief, no matter what people tell you. You're allowed to grieve for yourself, and for your dad, and for everyone who loved her. Sending you so so much love.
Sorry for the loss of your Gran, Adam 💔. I know how you’re feeling, I lost both of my grandpas on both sides of my family within months of each other last year. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. 🙏🏻❤️
My grandfather has had a year of health scares, starting with him breaking his back. He recently signed a DNR after having a heart attack and it's been hard on our family. Like you with your dad, I feel a lot for my mom losing a parent. It's hard getting older, knowing that one day that will be me with my mom. When my mom goes, I'm climbing in the coffin with her I swear 😂 Sending you love during this time of grief ❤
That sounds incredibly similar to what happened to my grandfather. Breaking his back and a heart attack. Unfortunately, he didn't make it. It'll be 5 years this summer.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I think it’s beautiful that even in the depth of your grief you can see and feel for your father’s pain.
We're all here for you, Adam. I'm sending your family all the love and well wishes. Holding space for you and your loved ones.💜
Have a safe trip! I'm so excited to see what this year has in store for you with your tour and whatever else you have planned!!! 💜💜
So sorry for your loss it is never easy and never gets easier its the one thing in life you really can't prepare for because it can happen in any moment at any time in any manner . My thoughts and prayers are with u and ur famliy..
Lost my mom, grandma, and childhood dog in less than two years. When you have that first death in the family, it really shocks you how fragile life is. Like, not even one’s own mortality is scary imo, but the mortality of everyone you love? That’s terrifying. It doesn’t help that we’re such a death denying society, and it makes it harder to accept and deal with death. My condolences, Adam, and I hope you’re taking care of yourself.
Thinking of you and your family right now❤ So sorry your year started off this way
I'm so so sorry for your loss, Adam. I lost my grandma about a year and a half ago and it's my first family member that I lost and she basically raised me. There was a lot of family drama before she passed and it made me realize she wasn't as happy as I thought she was in her marriage life, etc. Sucks.
OMG Adam i am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Sadly I learned how bad death is when I was 9 when my Daddy died. Then my bio mother was murdered the day after I turned 19, but losing my Pa-Pa who raised me at 24, my childhood truly ended. I gotta say that it never goes away, it becomes part of you. Just remember that as long as we remember them, they're never truly gone. My heart & prayers to you & your family🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I completely empathize with your feelings of guilt for not being there for your dad. The unpredictability of death is something that cannot be anticipated or prepared for. Often, the best approach is to manage the situation as best as you can, given the circumstances, and I commend you for the effort you are putting forth in this difficult time. My deepest condolences for your loss and the challenges you are facing, Adam. Things will improve in time. I've been in your shoes before and I understand the pain you feel and let's restart the year tomorrow.
Sorry for loss .Try to hang in there. You and your family are in my prayers. If you are taking anything for sleep it might be contributing to your bad dreams to. I was taking meds and my dreams wasn't scary as much as strange. ❤❤
Death is a part of life, but it’s hard.
For a few days, it feels impossible.
For months it won’t feel fair.
And for years you will long for her.
But forever you will have those memories, and she will have her peace.
I’m sorry for your loss, one griever to another, don’t tuck these feelings away because they only come up stronger. Talk about her and cry and do what you need. Hugs
So sorry for your loss Adam, hope the best for you and your family. Rest In Peace Nana
My dad unexpectedly passed at the start of November and it’s been so hard starting this new year without him. I was just starting to move when I found out, had to drop everything and fly to Florida to make all the arrangements we needed. When I came back I had under two weeks to pack up all my shit and deep clean my apartment. It was all such a blur of grief and fatigue but after that period it’s gotten a little easier every day. Life will be life, we’ll start the real new year tomorrow with you. Much love Adam 🩷
oh adam, i'm so sorry to hear about your loss, but i hope your new start to the year is absolutely amazing!! we're here for you diva, so glad to see you back
I totally feel you on the weird feelings of grief. I lost my last two grandparents in 2021 & 2022, and the knowledge that my parents are now both orphans and are "next up" aka now among the older generation in my family was a WILD realization to make. These thoughts are the ones that truly force you grow up and mature into your next phase of adulthood, and your life is forever changed into a new normal without certain people in it anymore. Acknowledge those feelings, make peace with them if you can, and cherish the fleeting moments you have with loved ones.
I'm so sorry for your loss Adam. I've literally been paralyzed with back pain since New Years Eve and have been feeling sorry for myself because "what a way to start the year" but you're so right, the year starts when we decide it does, and it starts when we're ready to start it on the right foot 💕
I lost my father on Thanksgiving last year. Even though it’s never on the same day but the feelings are going to be there.
Sending you so much support and good wfor the days to come! ❤
About halfway through the video now, but just wanted to go ahead and comment. First of all, there is no need to apologize to us for your lack of content recently. Life happens. And despite that being the case, you are allowed to be sad and mourn your loss. At the same time, you can feel like the year WILL get better (and it will), and try to have a positive attitude.
Anyway, SO sorry for the loss of your granny, Adam. My grandma, mom's mom, passed away at the end of the Summer last year. And we lost my papa, dad's dad, in the Summer of 2022. It's always so hard to lose grandparents as our time with them seems so incredibly limited. But the love you have for them and their love for you will never go away. Just take your time and be there for your dad, Adam.
Lastly, as for everything else and the drama in Brighton, it will pass. You have a BIG year ahead of you, so take things as they come, and look forward to continuing to grow and mature in your life and the changes that will come with that. And, as always, us muckers will be here to listen and watch whenever you need to debrief ❤ .
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My grandma passed in summer and watching my mom go through the process of losing her mom, selling her house, rehoming her cat, watching her grieve, ALL that was the worst part. We're a very small family and neither of my parents have siblings (nor do I) so she was moving through the process with just dad and I. My dad and I. Who both have two parents when my mom lost both already...
I felt guilty that I couldn't have been there to help my grandma (it's a pretty dark situation), but my poor mom... That time genuinely brought me so much closer to her and further away from my dad. It goes by fast, but eventually we all made it out.
One more thing, nothing about this is your fault at all. Time makes choices no matter what we have to say about them. The muckers have got your back. Your year starts as soon as time decides to be kinder to you.
lets just make the new year start on chinese new year 🎉
Spring Equinox really. That’s when my year really starts :)
Tender blessings to you and your family for your loss, Adam.
You'll be okay this year. You'll shine like the bright flame that you are!
I'm so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family. May your grandmother rest in peace.
Death is not, and imo, never will be easy or something you can plan for. Take as much time as you need, Adam. As someone who recently lost his godmother within the last two months, I feel you. If it's any comfort, I live by a motto that the person is not really dead even after they, yknow, are no longer with us PHYSICALLY. That as long as you remember them, speak of their memory, that they never truly leave us, that they're never completely absent. At least, that's how I see it. Stay safe, happy and healthy the best you can, much love yall !! ^^
I really hope that things get better for you, you deserve some piece and dreams rather than guilt and nightmares. The new year starts tomorrow, make it count.
I lost my guinea pigs two days ago
I feel you when u say it’s not a great start to the NY
Not to compare our deaths but death is never fun
I didn’t see my pigs death coming I loved them so much. Loved everything that came with having them, even changing their box. I love happy they got when I’d change it and give them their treats. I’ll miss them so much breaks my heart I was at work when it happened.
Still have a lot of exciting things up to come this new year so I hope it all goes well
Love you Adam sending you much love❤ take your time with your loss we’ll understand 🫶 take care of you mucker
I'm sorry they couldn't wait for you to get there. Believe me she & your dad understand, so don't put yourself thru that guilt
it doesn't matter that it's an inevitable part of life. it's okay to be sad and let the sadness out. you don't have to apologize; you're grieving and processing. 💙
Sending love and condolences to you and your family
Adam, I also lost someone in my family actually on New Year’s Eve last week. I can completely understand how it feels to try to be happy and looking forward to the new year while also grieving and trying to work through that at the same time. Sending you so much love during this time and hoping the absolute best for you and your family while you go through the grieving process. ❤
thank God for an adam update - I broke my leg on the 30th and will be in the hospital most of Jan. love ur videos Adam and will be watching each video ten times this month ✨
Welcome to the new year! I've had a couple of these new years in a row, and trust me, it does get better! Usually indicative of a lot of beneficial change. You got this!
hugs and support adam, i hope you’re doing okay 🤍 i’m happy you feel so comfortable to tell us these things
I'm sorry for you're loss, It's been 3 or 4 years since my grandparents have passed and it always hurts during the holidays. I feel so bad for you, grandparents are a treasure. The holidays aren't always the "most wonderful time of the year" and they especially not wonderful with a family death, pet death, friend death, or general mental health problems. We, the Muckers, love you so much Adam.
I made it a point to take my son to visit both sets of his living great grandparents this holiday season. I'm not close to my grandparents at all but my Dad really wanted us all to come down when they were staying with him & it really hit me that they are his parents for the first time. So much that I planned a weekend trip to take my son to see his great grans on his Dads side (we are divorced and his Dad isn't very close with his family) because life is so fleeting. No regrets. Sending you so much love Adam!
My grandma passed away the day before Thanksgiving. I have been not only mourning the loss of my grandma, but I’m mourning my mom’s loss of her mom, and her best friend. It breaks me up in an instant, I’m so sorry Adam.
Hey Adam I’m experiencing something similar. I just lost my grandad late December, and he is everything to me. It’s been a hard start to a new year, and I’ve never gone through something like this. It’s been a lot emotionally. Grief is a struggle, but get through it the best you can. I wish I had seen my grandad more leading up to this, even though I never expected it to happen. He passed near Christmas, I miss him. But I hope you get through! Stay strong. Also super close to his cat who had to go to a new home, he’s with family, but just miss the kitty too! I hope to go visit him one time.
I was present when my dad lost both his father and mother. And my Mum, when she lost her mum, I was on holiday. I was sad my grand parents passed, but my heart broke for them losing their parents.
Then, my father passed away in July (4th-a US holiday) 2018, and my Mum passed away in 2022, all before I was 40, and it's so rough. You think these people are going to live forever. But their passing reminded me to just live life to the fullest.
Bless your parents and family, and may your grandmother dance in the graveyards with your family that went before her. She'll live on in the hearts and memories of all who knew her.
❤❤
Adam, nothing to apologize for!!! All my love to you and your family ❤ and I wish you a great 2025 whenever you decide to start it 😘😘😘
Adam, I lost my first grandparent, my grandpa unexpectedly in June and it still eats me up. Nothing can prepare you for it, especially being a first loss. Sending you love and good vibes for 2025 ❤
the part about your reoccurring dream was so heartbreaking cuz I can relate in a way sending so much love
I’ve missed your videos so much! I’m so sorry for your loss.
Love you bestie ! Hope the year is the best for us all !
My sympathies to you Adam. My grandma had been sick for awhile now. She died on the 3rd. I feel you and I’m here with you in the grieving process. I miss and love my grandma so much.
im so sorry!
I love you adam, I am truly sorry for your loss…the only thing I WOULD like to say is take your time allow yourself to cry when you feel it… remember all the good memories and just feel great full to have known such a beautiful soul…
New Year's Eve my bearded dragon passed away, figured I'd go out to some friends that live 40 minutes away out in the middle of nowhere and party, car breaks down around 10pm. New years I learn my mom's stepmom is passing away three states away, a day or two goes by things seem okay and then my car breaks down again after I pay $300 to my car payment. This year has started rough for many but what matters is how we deal with it and react. Please remember anyone who is reading this that yes this doesn't define you're year but it's okay to feel upset be kind to yourselves.
You have my Deepest & Most Sincerest Sympathies 😞🕊️ I lost my Grandparents 1yr apart & it's been 3yrs since they passed but it still feels like Yesterday. My 💓 goes out to You & Your Entire Family ... May She RIP 🕊️
adam i'm so sorry for your and your family's loss. you were trying not to cry in the video, but i hope you allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels natural to you off camera. love to you and your family from nc