A wizard, a bard and a barbarian are out adventuring when they come across a mystical portal. The portal's wizened guardian tells them that to pass, they must state one true thing, or be lost forever. The wizard steps forward and says 'I think that I am the smartest' and passes. The bard steps forwards and says 'I think that I am the most talented' and also passes. The bar barian steps forward. 'Me think -' and is suddenly swept into the portal. An elf and a dwarf come across a drow in the woods while adventuring. Preparing to attack, they are shocked to find an Efreeti which offers the three each one wish. The dwarf asks for his home hold to be filled with the best defensive weaponry possible. Not to be outdone, the elf asks for his home city to be surrounded by a huge, impenetrable wall, with no crack, crevice or even gate to fully ensure his people's safety. When it comes th the drow's turn, he thinks for a minute. 'How high is this wall?' he asks. 'About 30 feet' replies the Efreeti. 'And it's completely impenetrable?' 'Yes'. Again, the Drow thinks, before finally opening his mouth to declare his wish. 'Fill it with water'
A high elf, halfling and human are locked up in a dwarvish stronghold and are sentenced to one year in private cells. The dwarves, as an act of kindness, decide they should allow the prisoners one request before their long year in solitary. The high elf asks for a years supply of fine wine; the dwarves begrudgingly provide him with several hundred bottles. The halfing asks for a years supply of whisky; the dwarves provide him with thousands of bottles. The human asks for a years supply of fine cigars which the Dwarves gladly provide. After a year the prisoners are released. First, the door to the Elves cell is opened, he staggers out and, with the last bottle of wine in his hands collapses on the ground dead from alcohol poisoning. Then, they open the halflings cell to find that she has already met a similar fate. Now, by this time every dwarve in the whole mountain is excited to see what sort of state the human is in. After all the various bets have been made the door to the cell is opened. The human strides out and asks, "Have any of you got a light?"
An orc, an elf, and a dwarf find themselves being granted wishes by an Efreeti. The orc says, "We orcs need to return to power. I wish all the orcs and half-orcs were returned to their ancient lands." The Efreeti nods his head, and the orc vanishes. The elf says, "The elves need to get back to their roots. I wish all the elves and half-elves were returned to their ancestral home." The Efreeti nods his head, and the elf vanishes. The dwarf looks around. "Let me get this straight," the dwarf says, "the orc wished for all the orcs to be gone, and the elf wished for all the elves to be gone?" The Efreeti nods. "Very well, then," said the dwarf, "I'll have an ale."
The fighter, rogue, cleric, and wizard are battling a lot of ghouls. The fighter does his best in the midst of them hoping his high AC keeps him healthy. The rogue can't sneak attack so pings away with a bow from afar. The cleric joins the fighter battling the ghouls after spending three rounds casting Divine Favor, Bull's Strength, and Protection From Evil on himself. The wizard casts Web hoping to hold off some of the ghouls, a Flaming Sphere to help the fighter with hit point attrition, and uses a scroll of Mirror Image for defense. It's a tough battle lasting several rounds. The cleric heals himself a bit. The wizard eventually has to resort to Magic Missile and even firing a crossbow. At last the final ghoul drops to the fighter's blade, but too late, that ghoul had already killed the cleric. After the party drinks several potions of healing and a few rounds after that, they get ready for battle again as the cleric's corpse rises as a ghoul. The rogue exclaims, "Oh so now he turns undead!"
A barbarian walks up to one of the accessory vendors in the marketplace to get a Barbie doll for his daughter. So he asks the vendor, "How much is Barbie?" "Well," she says, "we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for 90 plat, Barbie Goes to the Ball for 90 plat, Barbie Goes Shopping for 90 plat, Barbie Goes to the Beach for 90 plat, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for 90 plat, and Divorced Barbie for 1690 plat." "Hey, hang on," the barbarian asks, "why is Divorced Barbie 1690 plat when all the others are only 90 plat?" "Yeah, well, it's like this....Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
Durin Ironshield of the iron hills pays a visit to the Elven King of Mirkwood. "Sir", says Durin, "We have decided to go to war with ye." The elven king looks incredulous, but takes war seriously. "We? Who is this we?", he says sternly. "Well, that would be me, me brother Thorin, his son Durin, our cousins Olin and Golin, and our pop Thrain." "My good Dwarf, I have 1100 elves at my command that can be ready to move on a moment's notice.", says the king. "Oh.", replies Durin. "Let me get back to ye on that." The Dwarf leaves, but returns two days later. "Ok king, I have rounded up two more cousins and we a few axes between us all." "Sir Dwarf, I have 300 of the finest archers around, plus my royal guards are all spellsingers, armed with swords of sharpness." "Oh, well, I see." The Dwarf lord thinks a bit. "Let me come back to ye." And he leaves to return again in two days. "Ok king, we have rounded up a few more swords and I think we are ready". "You should know my good dwarf that I have since raised the size of my elven army to 1300." "Ah hek!", and the dwarf leaves. He comes back the next day. "Well king, I am afraid we have to call off the war." "I am sorry to hear that. Was it the power of my elven army to changed your mind?" "Nah, I spoke to all my kin and we decided that we just did not have the room for 1300 prisoners."
A gnome and a half-orc find themselves being granted three wishes each by a pair of Efreet. The half-orc smirks and says, "I wish that I was the leader of my tribe, and that the orcs and half-orcs of my tribe were beautiful women." The first Efreeti nods and grants his wish. The gnome says, "I wish for a riding-dog." The second Efreeti nods and grants his wish. "Why are you wishing for a riding-dog?" the half-orc asks the gnome. "There's no limit to what you can wish for!" He thinks for a second, then turns to the first Efreeti and says, "I wasn't thinking big enough last time. I wish that all the orcs and half-orcs on the continent were beautiful women." The first Efreeti nods and grants his wish. The gnome says, "I wish for a saddle for my riding-dog." The second Efreeti nods and grants his wish. The half-orc watches the gnome put the saddle on the riding-dog, an incredulous look on the half-orc's face. "You're wasting your wishes by thinking too small, fool! See?" He turns to the first Efreeti and says, "I wish that all the orcs and half-orcs in the world were beautiful women!" The first Efreeti nods and grants his wish. The gnome smirks and shakes his head slowly. He climb into the saddle, and as he leaves, he says, "I wish the half-orc was gay."
A Kobold, A Warforged, and a zombie walk into a bar. Kobold says, "my warren was invaded last week, only me and my best friend made it out alive." Bartender says, "That's too bad." The Kobold gets a free beer. Warforged says: "I went with my creator and his party to stave off an invasion from armies of Terrasques. I was the only one to survive." Bartender silently hands him a beer. Zombie says "Well, Me and some friends headed into the Tomb Of Horrors..." Bartender cuts him off: "Hey buddy, no one likes a showoff."
Does Colton still do shit like this because I’m on episode 10 and he’s still doing it. Jacob literally has the patience of a saint to put up with his shit
A gnome entered a bar. He stood by the counter and asked by some wine. Seconds passes. He asks again... nothing.. he starts to jump, trying to look over the counter, and asking "I want a wine! I want a wine!. He gets upset and walks around it, and finds another gnome jumping, trying to look over the counter, asking "red or white? Red or White?" The knight is leaving the bar, when he sees his mount was stolen. Angered, he yells "I'm gonna go get another drink. If, by the time I'm back, my mount is not here, I'll do what I did yesterday". He walked in, asked another drink, drank it, exited the bar... and there was his horse. A halfling that was standing there all the time, curious asked "but what you did yesterday"? To which the knight replied "went home by foot." A human was selling melons in the fair, when a huge orc approached him, and said outloud "I WANT TO BUY HALF OF A MELON". The guy, intimidated with the orc's size, replied "I can't sell you half of a melon... I'll have to ask my boss..." he leaves to one of the tents, and the orc follows him without he noticing. Getting in there he says "boss, there's a darned son of a whore out there, wanting to buy half of a melon". He looks back, and finds the orc standing right behind him "... and this genleman want to buy the other half".
A half orc wizard and a human wizard went to the Rusty Nail tavern after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the half orc bet the human $50 that he wouldn't jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the half orc gave the human $50. The human said, "I can't take this, you're my friend. But the half orc insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet." Then the human said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money." The half orc replied "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
I like the fact that all three vistani rode up the stairs into the room on there mounts. It reminds me of robot chicken skit with the Trojan man on his horse going up the stairs.
Kittz (an Elf) walks into the Golden Wing Inn and clears her voice to the crowd of dwarven drinkers. She says, "I hear you dwarves are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give 500 gold to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Dirty Kobalds back-to-back." The room is quiet, and no one takes up her offer. Obsiddean (a dwarf) even leaves. Thirty minutes later Obsiddean shows back up and taps Kittz on the back. "Is your bet still good?" asks the dwarf. Kittz says yes and asks the pub keep to line up 10 pints of Dirty Kobalds. Immediately the dwarf tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the elf sits in amazement. Kittz gives Obsiddean the 500 gold and says, "If you don't mind me asking, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" Obsiddean replies, "Oh... I had to go to the Bogwater down the street to see if I could do it first."
1) An elf, a human and a dwarf are all enjoying drinks in a tavern when each notices a fly in their glass. The elf places his napkin over the glass and pushes it off to the side. The human removes the fly and keeps drinking. The dwarf pulls out the fly and starts yelling, "Spit it out, ya wee b@stard! Spit it out!" ------------------ "Hey, nice 20's, are they natural?" ------------------ Did you hear what happened when Richard had to Save vs. Poison? Rickrolled. ------------------ When life turns it's back on you, sneak attack it for extra damage. ------------------ A warrior comes home very drunk from the pub with a Duck under his arm, his wife answers the door "what's this?" The warrior replies "this is the dragon i've been shaggin'" The angry wife shouts "That is not a Dragon that is a duck" The warrior looks at her and says "I was talking to the duck! ------------------ DM. The door is shut and locked. Fighter. I kick the door down... ...DM. The door is unlocked. Fighter. I kick the door down... ...DM. The door is ajar. Fighter. I walk over to the door, shut it and kick it down.
0:35 I laughed a true outloud laugh, and man.. I haven't heard myself laugh like that in a long time. thank you for continuing this series and being amazing
I think for curse of Strahd it was 5 times caught eating including this one. where you were mid bite. 2 of them u had food but were not in mid bite and 1 u were playing with somthing . Tis my conclusion of what colton has done at the very beginning of the intro good day
Seven dwarfs: Brannigan, Mayce, Moraadin, Chasek, Smitey, Bruttus and Verengor go to see the Vatican of the Silver Flame and because they are the famous Stormreach Seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Arch Priest. Brannigan steps forward and bends down on one knee... "Brannigan, my son," says the Arch Bishop, "What can I do for you?" Brannigan asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf Nuns in the Church ?" The Arch Bishop wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Brannigan, there are no dwarf nuns in the Church of the Silver Flame ." In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Brannigan turns around and glares, silencing them. Brannigan turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all Of Stromreach ?" The Arch Bishop, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Brannigan, there are no dwarf nuns in Stormreach . This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Brannigan turns around and silences them with an angry Glare. Brannigan turns back and says, "Mr. Arch Bishop Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the whole of Xendrick?" The Arch, really confused by the questions says, "I'm sorry, my Son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world." The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, Pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin Chanting...... "Brannigan snogged a penguin!" "Brannigan snogged a penguin!"
YOO I predicted the future or something, way back when they started the spiral staircase I thought this would be a really cool and useful minecraft build to help people orient themselves. And later there they go and mention that exact idea! I mean, yeah! Absolutely! This location confounded my party as well when we went through it.
Two rangers that are out hunting for food are walking through Tangleroot Forest, and discover a large well in the ground. One of the rangers curious as to how deep this well was threw a small stone into and turned his head to listen............nothing. He then gathers up a larger stone, picks it up with both hands and throws it in the well, turns his head to the side to listen............nothing. He exclaims to his buddy, man, that is some well. Lets find something bigger to throw off in there. Well the two find a cross tie. One says to the other, pick up one side, I'll get the other. Surely when this thing hits the bottom we'll know it. So the two throw this cross-tie into the well and begin to listen. After a few seconds they hear a goat, wailing at the top of its lungs, while it is running straight toward the two hunters. The goat continues toward them, passes right between the men, and goes off in the well. One hunter in excitment and disbelief, proclaims to the other, did you see that crazy goat!!?? That damn thing just jumped in that well!! The commotion attracted the attention of a local farmer, and he made his way over to the hunters. He asked the guys, "Have you seen my goat, I cant seem to find him?" One of the hunters still excited tells the farmer, sure we have seen your goat. He just ran down that hill straight toward us and jumped off in this well. The farmer replies back, nah, that couldnt have been my goat, my goat was tied to a cross-tie.
So... @15:00 I guess we're just going to ignore that they carried those bodies down to the courtyard and had hands pop out of the graves? Oof, notes failure.
The chaos bolt kill around 2:10:00 (maybe earlier/later) was cool. But nothing tops her Inflict Wounds where she just eviscerates her target. Inflict wounds sounds like what the daughter needs in the joke about the 3 guys who encounter a farmer. The joke isn't very appropriate, so I won't tell it here. Let's just say, if his daughter had inflict wounds, she wouldn't need a razor in her hoo ha.
Tim - For Changelings it say: You can make yourself appear as a member of another race, though none of your game statistics change. You also can’t appear as a creature of a different size than you, and your basic shape stays the same; if you’re bipedal, you can’t use this trait to become quadrupedal, for instance. Another race....not another species.
*Arguing if shapeshifters can be beasts* First, they're SHAPE shifters, and beasts have a shape. Logan argues that there's 4 legs but forelegs are just arms, they're structurally similar. Same with wings. They can't become insects or octopi, too dissimilar. I would say that if you could shapeshift to beast, but you gain no physical benefits. You can't turn into a bird and fly because you're just bird-shaped, you lack the musculature, bones, and know-how to fly. You also suffer disadvantage on physical checks like Atheletics or Acrobatics because you're not used to the body design. So it wouldn't be practical to become an animal unless you're trying to use it to stealth, like to resemble local fauna and do some spying or something.
I agree with the other comments - Irah was extra talkative (being nice). Or extra annoying if we're being blunt. Just let things happens and don't lead the way if you don't know what you don't understand the map.
The interaction Tim(Seamore) has with Strahd himself. Was amazing. I love it. Thank you Jacob, I’m about to start my own curse of Strahd this Saturday 4/6 and I will be DMing. This has been enlightening to help with playing Strahd.
Colton is very argumentative in this episode, don’t know if it’s tiredness or he’s trying to play the game as a DM not a PC. I understand some people struggle without maps but it’s best not to use them in exploration because some people can’t read the map and it confuses the PC and DM and just disrupts the game, like Logan said just listen to what he’s saying and work from that, if you can’t then don’t try take the lead and just ask for more detail instead of “meta gaming” from the map.
Yes, but trying to invision where everything is in relation to each other is hard. I speak as someone who has gone through a campaign for about half a year as theater of the mind.
maybe, but I also think Jacob and Logan were acting combative through out, possible because they were self admittedly tired, which made things equally worse. All in all though I've seen worse from both perspectives, and these little tense interactions are normal to an extent and happen in every campaign I'd say. I have yet to play in a campaign, or listen to a podcast that doesn't have them.
Irah wanted Tallman to lead, but Tallman told that Irah was leading and Colton gave in, stating that he had issues with the map. Logan also didn't understand what Jacob tried to understand. While the other two didn't involve themselves at all about moving around.
Changelings can change there color hair length and sex as well as what race they look like wouldn't you agree that a panther is a race of animal. They just don't change the size or stats
There is no debate if you can use bardic inspiration on death SAVES because they are SAVES like any other and bardic inspiration is intended to work on death saves. It's a weird call to decide to disallow the intended use if the class feature.
It says that you can cast bardic inspiration on someone within 60ft of you as long as they can hear you. I would say it’s DM judgement whether an unconscious PC can hear them. It’s like someone talking to you while you’re asleep, your ears heard them but you won’t know what they said.....because you were asleep. DM could call for it to apply on a subconscious level. Unconscious creatures are incapacitated, can’t move or speak and are unaware of their surroundings, if you go by the book I would say it doesn’t work.
@@Fleewood52 According to the guy who wrote the rules it works as I said. DMs can change any rule they like and that's fine but facts remain as they are. Unconscious people can hear fyi. Not arguable medically.
@@wuzillah can you link the source to where you found this? Because from what is in the PHB it pretty much says that it doesn’t work. Like I said your ears and brain register sounds but can you honestly say you could say what you “heard” whilst you were unconscious? That’s why is say it’s totally upto the DM, I wouldn’t say it’s weird to disallow it.
@@Fleewood52 Google the sage advice in reference to how bardic inspiration works with death saves. Also YOUR interpretation of the PHB says it doesn't work which is NOT the same thing as the PHB saying it doesn't work.
I love the random break to enjoy the rain.
A wizard, a bard and a barbarian are out adventuring when they come across a mystical portal. The portal's wizened guardian tells them that to pass, they must state one true thing, or be lost forever. The wizard steps forward and says 'I think that I am the smartest' and passes. The bard steps forwards and says 'I think that I am the most talented' and also passes. The bar barian steps forward. 'Me think -' and is suddenly swept into the portal.
An elf and a dwarf come across a drow in the woods while adventuring. Preparing to attack, they are shocked to find an Efreeti which offers the three each one wish. The dwarf asks for his home hold to be filled with the best defensive weaponry possible. Not to be outdone, the elf asks for his home city to be surrounded by a huge, impenetrable wall, with no crack, crevice or even gate to fully ensure his people's safety. When it comes th the drow's turn, he thinks for a minute.
'How high is this wall?' he asks.
'About 30 feet' replies the Efreeti.
'And it's completely impenetrable?'
'Yes'. Again, the Drow thinks, before finally opening his mouth to declare his wish.
'Fill it with water'
calm down, micah.
A high elf, halfling and human are locked up in a dwarvish stronghold and are sentenced to one year in private cells. The dwarves, as an act of kindness, decide they should allow the prisoners one request before their long year in solitary. The high elf asks for a years supply of fine wine; the dwarves begrudgingly provide him with several hundred bottles. The halfing asks for a years supply of whisky; the dwarves provide him with thousands of bottles. The human asks for a years supply of fine cigars which the Dwarves gladly provide.
After a year the prisoners are released. First, the door to the Elves cell is opened, he staggers out and, with the last bottle of wine in his hands collapses on the ground dead from alcohol poisoning. Then, they open the halflings cell to find that she has already met a similar fate. Now, by this time every dwarve in the whole mountain is excited to see what sort of state the human is in. After all the various bets have been made the door to the cell is opened. The human strides out and asks, "Have any of you got a light?"
An orc, an elf, and a dwarf find themselves being granted wishes by an Efreeti.
The orc says, "We orcs need to return to power. I wish all the orcs and half-orcs were returned to their ancient lands." The Efreeti nods his head, and the orc vanishes.
The elf says, "The elves need to get back to their roots. I wish all the elves and half-elves were returned to their ancestral home." The Efreeti nods his head, and the elf vanishes.
The dwarf looks around. "Let me get this straight," the dwarf says, "the orc wished for all the orcs to be gone, and the elf wished for all the elves to be gone?" The Efreeti nods. "Very well, then," said the dwarf, "I'll have an ale."
2:04:05 The D&D team go OUTSIDE IRL to observe "the rain"🌧☔ 😂.
The fighter, rogue, cleric, and wizard are battling a lot of ghouls.
The fighter does his best in the midst of them hoping his high AC keeps him healthy. The rogue can't sneak attack so pings away with a bow from afar. The cleric joins the fighter battling the ghouls after spending three rounds casting Divine Favor, Bull's Strength, and Protection From Evil on himself. The wizard casts Web hoping to hold off some of the ghouls, a Flaming Sphere to help the fighter with hit point attrition, and uses a scroll of Mirror Image for defense. It's a tough battle lasting several rounds. The cleric heals himself a bit. The wizard eventually has to resort to Magic Missile and even firing a crossbow. At last the final ghoul drops to the fighter's blade, but too late, that ghoul had already killed the cleric. After the party drinks several potions of healing and a few rounds after that, they get ready for battle again as the cleric's corpse rises as a ghoul. The rogue exclaims, "Oh so now he turns undead!"
A barbarian walks up to one of the accessory vendors in the marketplace to get a Barbie doll for his daughter. So he asks the vendor, "How much is Barbie?"
"Well," she says, "we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for 90 plat, Barbie Goes to the Ball for 90 plat, Barbie Goes Shopping for 90 plat, Barbie Goes to the Beach for 90 plat, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for 90 plat, and Divorced Barbie for 1690 plat."
"Hey, hang on," the barbarian asks, "why is Divorced Barbie 1690 plat when all the others are only 90 plat?"
"Yeah, well, it's like this....Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
As somone from Washington state it legitimately amuses me that they went outsde because it was raining
Durin Ironshield of the iron hills pays a visit to the Elven King of Mirkwood.
"Sir", says Durin, "We have decided to go to war with ye."
The elven king looks incredulous, but takes war seriously. "We? Who is this we?", he says sternly.
"Well, that would be me, me brother Thorin, his son Durin, our cousins Olin and Golin, and our pop Thrain."
"My good Dwarf, I have 1100 elves at my command that can be ready to move on a moment's notice.", says the king.
"Oh.", replies Durin. "Let me get back to ye on that."
The Dwarf leaves, but returns two days later.
"Ok king, I have rounded up two more cousins and we a few axes between us all."
"Sir Dwarf, I have 300 of the finest archers around, plus my royal guards are all spellsingers, armed with swords of sharpness."
"Oh, well, I see." The Dwarf lord thinks a bit. "Let me come back to ye."
And he leaves to return again in two days.
"Ok king, we have rounded up a few more swords and I think we are ready".
"You should know my good dwarf that I have since raised the size of my elven army to 1300."
"Ah hek!", and the dwarf leaves. He comes back the next day.
"Well king, I am afraid we have to call off the war."
"I am sorry to hear that. Was it the power of my elven army to changed your mind?"
"Nah, I spoke to all my kin and we decided that we just did not have the room for 1300 prisoners."
A gnome and a half-orc find themselves being granted three wishes each by a pair of Efreet.
The half-orc smirks and says, "I wish that I was the leader of my tribe, and that the orcs and half-orcs of my tribe were beautiful women." The first Efreeti nods and grants his wish. The gnome says, "I wish for a riding-dog." The second Efreeti nods and grants his wish.
"Why are you wishing for a riding-dog?" the half-orc asks the gnome. "There's no limit to what you can wish for!" He thinks for a second, then turns to the first Efreeti and says, "I wasn't thinking big enough last time. I wish that all the orcs and half-orcs on the continent were beautiful women." The first Efreeti nods and grants his wish. The gnome says, "I wish for a saddle for my riding-dog." The second Efreeti nods and grants his wish.
The half-orc watches the gnome put the saddle on the riding-dog, an incredulous look on the half-orc's face. "You're wasting your wishes by thinking too small, fool! See?" He turns to the first Efreeti and says, "I wish that all the orcs and half-orcs in the world were beautiful women!" The first Efreeti nods and grants his wish.
The gnome smirks and shakes his head slowly. He climb into the saddle, and as he leaves, he says, "I wish the half-orc was gay."
Lesbian, since his last two wishes already made him a woman.
A Kobold, A Warforged, and a zombie walk into a bar.
Kobold says, "my warren was invaded last week, only me and my best friend made it out alive."
Bartender says, "That's too bad." The Kobold gets a free beer.
Warforged says: "I went with my creator and his party to stave off an invasion from armies of Terrasques. I was the only one to survive."
Bartender silently hands him a beer.
Zombie says "Well, Me and some friends headed into the Tomb Of Horrors..."
Bartender cuts him off: "Hey buddy, no one likes a showoff."
Oooof. I see the limits of Jacob's patience in this video. I'm sorry dude, I've been there.
Does Colton still do shit like this because I’m on episode 10 and he’s still doing it. Jacob literally has the patience of a saint to put up with his shit
"I wish we had made any other sequence of decisions."
Yep. Me in every campaign ever.
A gnome entered a bar. He stood by the counter and asked by some wine. Seconds passes. He asks again... nothing.. he starts to jump, trying to look over the counter, and asking "I want a wine! I want a wine!.
He gets upset and walks around it, and finds another gnome jumping, trying to look over the counter, asking "red or white? Red or White?"
The knight is leaving the bar, when he sees his mount was stolen. Angered, he yells "I'm gonna go get another drink. If, by the time I'm back, my mount is not here, I'll do what I did yesterday". He walked in, asked another drink, drank it, exited the bar... and there was his horse. A halfling that was standing there all the time, curious asked "but what you did yesterday"? To which the knight replied "went home by foot."
A human was selling melons in the fair, when a huge orc approached him, and said outloud "I WANT TO BUY HALF OF A MELON". The guy, intimidated with the orc's size, replied "I can't sell you half of a melon... I'll have to ask my boss..." he leaves to one of the tents, and the orc follows him without he noticing. Getting in there he says "boss, there's a darned son of a whore out there, wanting to buy half of a melon". He looks back, and finds the orc standing right behind him "... and this genleman want to buy the other half".
Spoilers
Strahd: I have misjudged this relationship... *Stares in confusion.*
Luke and Leia vibes Intensifies
A half orc wizard and a human wizard went to the Rusty Nail tavern after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the half orc bet the human $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the half orc gave the human $50.
The human said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend.
But the half orc insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the human said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The half orc replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
"Wow thats so much rain."
Me an oregonian: That sounds like a drizzle
Where I live it rains that light about five times a year
@@hellfire286 lol
Me an orangutan: OOH AH!
I like the fact that all three vistani rode up the stairs into the room on there mounts. It reminds me of robot chicken skit with the Trojan man on his horse going up the stairs.
Kittz (an Elf) walks into the Golden Wing Inn and clears her voice to the crowd of dwarven drinkers. She says, "I hear you dwarves are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give 500 gold to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Dirty Kobalds back-to-back."
The room is quiet, and no one takes up her offer. Obsiddean (a dwarf) even leaves.
Thirty minutes later Obsiddean shows back up and taps Kittz on the back. "Is your bet still good?" asks the dwarf.
Kittz says yes and asks the pub keep to line up 10 pints of Dirty Kobalds. Immediately the dwarf tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the elf sits in amazement. Kittz gives Obsiddean the 500 gold and says, "If you don't mind me asking, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
Obsiddean replies, "Oh... I had to go to the Bogwater down the street to see if I could do it first."
Colton eating in 6 episodes out of 8. It was actually pretty hilarious to check this little detail.
1) An elf, a human and a dwarf are all enjoying drinks in a tavern when each notices a fly in their glass.
The elf places his napkin over the glass and pushes it off to the side.
The human removes the fly and keeps drinking.
The dwarf pulls out the fly and starts yelling, "Spit it out, ya wee b@stard! Spit it out!"
------------------
"Hey, nice 20's, are they natural?"
------------------
Did you hear what happened when Richard had to Save vs. Poison?
Rickrolled.
------------------
When life turns it's back on you, sneak attack it for extra damage.
------------------
A warrior comes home very drunk from the pub with a Duck under his arm, his wife answers the door "what's this?" The warrior replies "this is the dragon i've been shaggin'" The angry wife shouts "That is not a Dragon that is a duck" The warrior looks at her and says "I was talking to the duck!
------------------
DM. The door is shut and locked.
Fighter. I kick the door down...
...DM. The door is unlocked.
Fighter. I kick the door down...
...DM. The door is ajar.
Fighter. I walk over to the door, shut it and kick it down.
0:35 I laughed a true outloud laugh, and man.. I haven't heard myself laugh like that in a long time. thank you for continuing this series and being amazing
Spoilers
In the middle of a dangerous situation...
Seamore: Guys, I broke the balitisas!
???: What!
Ary: Was that your goal? *Sounds shocked.*
I think for curse of Strahd it was 5 times caught eating including this one. where you were mid bite. 2 of them u had food but were not in mid bite and 1 u were playing with somthing .
Tis my conclusion of what colton has done at the very beginning of the intro good day
Seven dwarfs: Brannigan, Mayce, Moraadin, Chasek, Smitey, Bruttus and Verengor go to see the Vatican of the Silver Flame and because they are the famous Stormreach Seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Arch Priest.
Brannigan steps forward and bends down on one knee...
"Brannigan, my son," says the Arch Bishop, "What can I do for you?"
Brannigan asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf Nuns in the Church ?"
The Arch Bishop wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No, Brannigan, there are no dwarf nuns in the Church of the Silver Flame ."
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Brannigan turns around and glares, silencing them.
Brannigan turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all Of Stromreach ?"
The Arch Bishop, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, Brannigan, there are no dwarf nuns in Stormreach .
This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Brannigan turns around and silences them with an angry Glare.
Brannigan turns back and says, "Mr. Arch Bishop Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the whole of Xendrick?"
The Arch, really confused by the questions says, "I'm sorry, my Son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."
The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, Pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin Chanting......
"Brannigan snogged a penguin!"
"Brannigan snogged a penguin!"
That's an original! Thanks!
40:57 headphone users beware. Momentary audio problem.
Are you guys going through the E$@&#%^65
@@ArcaneArcade it honestly scared me when I heard it.
YOO I predicted the future or something, way back when they started the spiral staircase I thought this would be a really cool and useful minecraft build to help people orient themselves. And later there they go and mention that exact idea! I mean, yeah! Absolutely! This location confounded my party as well when we went through it.
I prefer your jokes rather than you guys being serious all the time, it helps to relieve tension😃👍
Two rangers that are out hunting for food are walking through Tangleroot Forest, and discover a large well in the ground.
One of the rangers curious as to how deep this well was threw a small stone into and turned his head to listen............nothing. He then gathers up a larger stone, picks it up with both hands and throws it in the well, turns his head to the side to listen............nothing.
He exclaims to his buddy, man, that is some well. Lets find something bigger to throw off in there. Well the two find a cross tie. One says to the other, pick up one side, I'll get the other. Surely when this thing hits the bottom we'll know it. So the two throw this cross-tie into the well and begin to listen.
After a few seconds they hear a goat, wailing at the top of its lungs, while it is running straight toward the two hunters. The goat continues toward them, passes right between the men, and goes off in the well. One hunter in excitment and disbelief, proclaims to the other, did you see that crazy goat!!?? That damn thing just jumped in that well!!
The commotion attracted the attention of a local farmer, and he made his way over to the hunters. He asked the guys, "Have you seen my goat, I cant seem to find him?"
One of the hunters still excited tells the farmer, sure we have seen your goat. He just ran down that hill straight toward us and jumped off in this well. The farmer replies back, nah, that couldnt have been my goat, my goat was tied to a cross-tie.
1:41:40 I almost lost it too Spencer.
Micah Bahr how long did it take you to come up with all of these jokes if you came up with the jokes
I didn't come up with them I'm not that original I just found them online.
its been a while, time to continue with strahd :D
2:04:00 Rain
So... @15:00 I guess we're just going to ignore that they carried those bodies down to the courtyard and had hands pop out of the graves? Oof, notes failure.
The chaos bolt kill around 2:10:00 (maybe earlier/later) was cool. But nothing tops her Inflict Wounds where she just eviscerates her target.
Inflict wounds sounds like what the daughter needs in the joke about the 3 guys who encounter a farmer.
The joke isn't very appropriate, so I won't tell it here. Let's just say, if his daughter had inflict wounds, she wouldn't need a razor in her hoo ha.
1:41:37
Spencer (Ary) Face
Hahahahaha
Tim - For Changelings it say: You can make yourself appear as a member of another race, though none of your game statistics change. You also can’t appear as a creature of a different size than you, and your basic shape stays the same; if you’re bipedal, you can’t use this trait to become quadrupedal, for instance.
Another race....not another species.
Logan was grumpy this episode.
*Arguing if shapeshifters can be beasts*
First, they're SHAPE shifters, and beasts have a shape. Logan argues that there's 4 legs but forelegs are just arms, they're structurally similar. Same with wings. They can't become insects or octopi, too dissimilar.
I would say that if you could shapeshift to beast, but you gain no physical benefits. You can't turn into a bird and fly because you're just bird-shaped, you lack the musculature, bones, and know-how to fly. You also suffer disadvantage on physical checks like Atheletics or Acrobatics because you're not used to the body design. So it wouldn't be practical to become an animal unless you're trying to use it to stealth, like to resemble local fauna and do some spying or something.
Tallsmerelda got me dead xD
I agree with the other comments - Irah was extra talkative (being nice). Or extra annoying if we're being blunt. Just let things happens and don't lead the way if you don't know what you don't understand the map.
OH MY GODDDD
The interaction Tim(Seamore) has with Strahd himself. Was amazing. I love it. Thank you Jacob, I’m about to start my own curse of Strahd this Saturday 4/6 and I will be DMing. This has been enlightening to help with playing Strahd.
If you do serious then ever so often I just look really close and just remember oh right it's a board game. But when your funny well it's funny
watching this 5 years later is wild. 3 seasons of vox machina later lol.
Curse of Logan
My cousin plays a pladin halfling and got a toy hamer and named it jesous
Colton is very argumentative in this episode, don’t know if it’s tiredness or he’s trying to play the game as a DM not a PC. I understand some people struggle without maps but it’s best not to use them in exploration because some people can’t read the map and it confuses the PC and DM and just disrupts the game, like Logan said just listen to what he’s saying and work from that, if you can’t then don’t try take the lead and just ask for more detail instead of “meta gaming” from the map.
Yes, but trying to invision where everything is in relation to each other is hard. I speak as someone who has gone through a campaign for about half a year as theater of the mind.
@@quendi5557 lol same we still do battle without a grid and am a drunk monk so it really hard to put myself out of range
@@Undead_Grius You are lucky, in the time we played in that campaign we got exactly one battle map. That being said, I really get it.
maybe, but I also think Jacob and Logan were acting combative through out, possible because they were self admittedly tired, which made things equally worse. All in all though I've seen worse from both perspectives, and these little tense interactions are normal to an extent and happen in every campaign I'd say. I have yet to play in a campaign, or listen to a podcast that doesn't have them.
Irah wanted Tallman to lead, but Tallman told that Irah was leading and Colton gave in, stating that he had issues with the map. Logan also didn't understand what Jacob tried to understand. While the other two didn't involve themselves at all about moving around.
Changelings can change there color hair length and sex as well as what race they look like wouldn't you agree that a panther is a race of animal. They just don't change the size or stats
their hair color* They would have to know what something looks like to change into it.
40:57 bro wtf was that.
They play Titanfall 2 AND Apex Legends?
There is no debate if you can use bardic inspiration on death SAVES because they are SAVES like any other and bardic inspiration is intended to work on death saves.
It's a weird call to decide to disallow the intended use if the class feature.
It says that you can cast bardic inspiration on someone within 60ft of you as long as they can hear you. I would say it’s DM judgement whether an unconscious PC can hear them. It’s like someone talking to you while you’re asleep, your ears heard them but you won’t know what they said.....because you were asleep. DM could call for it to apply on a subconscious level.
Unconscious creatures are incapacitated, can’t move or speak and are unaware of their surroundings, if you go by the book I would say it doesn’t work.
@@Fleewood52 According to the guy who wrote the rules it works as I said. DMs can change any rule they like and that's fine but facts remain as they are.
Unconscious people can hear fyi. Not arguable medically.
@@wuzillah can you link the source to where you found this? Because from what is in the PHB it pretty much says that it doesn’t work.
Like I said your ears and brain register sounds but can you honestly say you could say what you “heard” whilst you were unconscious? That’s why is say it’s totally upto the DM, I wouldn’t say it’s weird to disallow it.
@@Fleewood52 Google the sage advice in reference to how bardic inspiration works with death saves.
Also YOUR interpretation of the PHB says it doesn't work which is NOT the same thing as the PHB saying it doesn't work.
Lol, rules lawyer.
First 😁