I very recently learned that I’m autistic in my early 30s, and I’ve strongly suspected that my biological dad is autistic. He’d get defensive and brush it off if anyone suggested it to him, but I see him struggling and it hurts. Yet, him being told he may be autistic would hurt him, so it feels like a lose-lose situation.
Sorry to hear about the challenges your dad is facing, and I (Debby) can definitely see that being a huge struggle. Chris was actually very resistant to the idea at first, so I brought it up in a variety of different ways, but it was mostly when he would share some of the challenges he was having and I could connect it sometimes to common issues for autistic people, like executive functioning challenges. I didn't even say autism for a while after I had initially broached the idea, but we focused instead on the symptoms that were bothering him the most and ways to help him out with them. You can hear more about the specifics of his diagnosis story in his video (and he also talks some about how I helped guide him towards this): th-cam.com/video/zerlIKPEgTU/w-d-xo.html But I do feel like if the goal is to help your dad in areas where he's struggling, the focus doesn't really have to be on the diagnosis just yet, but on ways to support him where he struggles the most. So basically you could be operating under the assumption he is autistic, but just helping to make adjustments rather than focusing on diagnosis just yet. I will be sharing a video soon where I talk about some of the adjustments I help with, but it's also something very individual based on the person, as I'm sure you're seeing with yourself. Chris and I are working on creating more information for this too, so if you want to be updated when it's ready, you can sign up for our email list here: chrisanddebby.mykajabi.com/join-us Your dad is lucky that you're trying to learn and support him though! But it can be challenging for sure, and not something you could do on your own. (You also might still be learning about this for yourself, just like Chris still is too.) It might be good for other people in the family or who spend a lot of time with him to talk about what adjustments might be possible for him, such as helping him out with things that are particularly stressful or areas where he struggles. Feel free to email if you'd like to discuss this further! contactchrisanddebby@gmail.com Thanks for sharing your experiences and for being here!
What a TEAM! You both are doing a fantastic job by helping the world not only grasp the challenges of living with autism, but loving better! Thank you, thank you for your wonderful work!! ❤
In the uk we have Wetherspoons. It's a chain pub, who also do food. Basic and predictable. Every "spoons" you go to has exactly the same menu with exactly the same cutlery and plates. This is Uk wide. They used to serve waffles with blueberry compot and icecream. Then one day in 2012, they stopped. Without warning. I'm still upset. And my raspberry coloured skinny jeans, spent years trying to find another pair. Still upsets me 🙃
This is somewhat different from my family’s experience. We are AuDHD & sensory seekers. For example, we are more likely to enjoy something strongly flavored. I also want to point out that often times we are not aware that we are getting uncomfortable until we are melting down or shutting down. There is a lot of lack of insight, at least in my experience. What we experience is all we know, so it takes such a reframing to even get to a point where we can understand why so many of our senses are experienced differently by the majority of people. For the longest time, I thought I should try harder to tolerate everything that was making me uncomfortable, because everybody else must be doing it so much better than me.
Does anyone with ADHD/ASD have what they'd call a foggy brain, just always feels like there is a fog in your brain stopping you form thinking and you just can't get your head around the issue/s at hand let a lone solve it?
@@ChrisandDebbyits there all the time, ive been on a new anti depressant that went a bit south so they gave me seditives, any way I took 2 as 1 wasn't working, wow I had no idea i was so tense all the time, it was the first time i felt relaxed in a long time. that night I sleep great woke up bacck didn't hurt as much and apparently i didn't snore, that day problems that I could not come at for so long suddenly were easy to solve I felt the fog lifting a fog that had been there so long i didn't know it was there but for 6-8 hours I could think and it was clearer then it has ever been, I could think properly and I want that back so badly.
I’m not a doctor so I can’t say too much about prescription meds. I would however strongly suggest you talk to your doctor and express your concerns with the medication. You might also want to research a good psychiatrist and find out whether or not you are autistic. Meds and therapy are different based on what’s happening in your brain. If you don’t know what’s happening or are misdiagnosed, you can create some serious long term health problems.
@@ChrisandDebbySorry, DR gave me a med that did not agree, I went a little off track, more myself again now. ADHD has been diagnosed but I have to wait for the ADHD/ASD assessment in however many months before medication can be looked at.
I’m sensitive to loud sounds, but what seems to bother me more is multiple sounds at once. For example, the tv will be playing and my husband will turn on his iPad and be listening to music next to me. The combination of sounds together make my brain want to explode, lol. 😊
Friends have observed that I can't tell where sounds are coming from, so I get really scared. Having PTSD and being hypervigilent is exhausting. I am also afraid of electric gadgets like dishwashers.
I have a really strong sense of smell too, I always get told off for blurting out ‘it stinks in here’ in shops and stuff but it tends to come out before I realise I’m meant to keep that inside, it embarrasses whoever I’m with but it’s such a strong smell that it’s overwhelming and I’m always sure they’re smelling it that strongly too but they’re either not or just want me to shut up and keep it to myself 😬🤦♀️🤦♀️ I can smell cigarette smoke a mile away too and if someone’s been drinking alcohol, I don’t even have to be close to them to smell it but cigarettes I can smell quite a long way away, like on other floors behind multiple shut doors it’s horrible 🤦♀️ I also HATE being hot! In the summer I’m so annoyed cuz I want to rip off my own skin cuz I can’t cool down enough 😭😭 I also do the whole headphones on and hide in the corner hoping to be ignored to regulate thing 🤦♀️it’s awful it’s like we’re super tuned into the world or something? Like all feelings and senses are amplified and it’s so overwhelming 😭
Hi Debby and Chris, thank you so much for this resource! I was thinking it would be really interesting to have a video like this from your non autistic perspective on executive dysfunction 😊
I agreed with everything in this list. I was finally professionally diagnosed with autism (in addition to a childhood Dx of ADHD) last year after a lifetime of being told by everyone I know that I am just too sensitive and picky. It took a long time to actually identify the things that push me over the edge, like food textures, smells, lights, and sounds because all the things are happening at once and it's really hard to identify the one thing that is causing the problem. Now, I try to isolate the thing that is bothering me by removing stimuli one by one until I find the culprit. Safe foods were and are a big thing for me. Today even as an adult if given the option I will always pick turkey hot dogs over every other food available. Fluorescent lights-especially in spaces where there are no other lights like a grocery store-destroy me. Thanks for this video!
I don't have an issue with fluorescent lights, but the sun is my nemesis. It feels overbearing bright. If I am exposed to it for too long it can trigger migraines.
I'm glad you mentioned the sun, I always see fluorescent light but that's ok. I always stick my sunglasses on when I'm driving if there's any bright sun shine, as any reflection can cause me issues.
Thanks for sharing! Why did I not find this video 3 months ago? Not many neurotypical brains can put the outward visible signs into logical descriptions without subjective opinions. Between both sides of the sleep issue and too exhausted to want to deal with other's overwhelming problems, it is no wonder why I hate leaving my home.
@leilap2495 I'm also AuDHD and a sensory seeker (AuDHD - I like that - thanks! I think I'll use it), and this has often been to an extreme degree I can't tell you how many times I've had people say "you can't possibly be autistic - you like loud rock music" (well, sometimes - that's complicated) my earliest stadium concert was Led Zeppelin, when I was 15, and I had seats in the nosebleed section. That wasn't good enough for me, though, and I got up out of my seat and went right down to the front of the stage (security was not being aggressive about people doing that), and I stood their looking up at Robert and Jimmy from about 10 feet away - I just didn't feel like I would be really experiencing it unless it was actually overpowering me. I think there are a couple of possible reasons for this: one is that in a world where I'm constantly being bombarded with multiple sources of sound, being in a situation where there's only one actually feels really energizing. The second is that in a world where I felt like I had to be very tightly under control all the time (attempting to be a high masker - unsuccessfully, however), situations where I could just cut loose were also both energizing and relaxing. When I would come out of a concert, I always felt both relaxed and super energized. It is good for me to have someone I trust with me, however - or picking me up in front of the venue, at the very least - because being too relaxed can cause my defenses to be down, and I can be vulnerable to predators - of the human kind. Another thing that I have always liked to do (though this really requires me taking someone who I trust to kind of watch out for me, and run interference if staff get the wrong idea) is to go to the state fairs and watch the rides -- from REALLY up close. My favorite is the roundup, where the riders stand in booths around the outside of a large disc, which is then set to spinning, and once it reaches the velocity wear centrifugal force takes effect, it moves up into a vertical position, so that when you're on the upside of the disc you're looking down. I do like to ride this thing (I actually like riding all kinds of really scary rides), but I can't afford to ride it all the time I'm there, so the next best thing is to stand next to the ride, so that when it gets vertical, you've got lights either coming down or going up in front of you - depending on which side of the ride you're standing on - and then you can get this "2001: a Space Odyssey" kind of effect (I first saw that movie when I was about 10 or 11, and that was my favorite part of the movie - I like to sit right up in the front of the theater). So I guess you could say I was probably like an overstimulation junkie! I'm 68 now, and I don't really seek out over stimulation to that extent, anymore, however. Of course, I haven't been able to get anyone to take me to the State Fair in quite a few years - about 13 years, in fact. Another form of overstimulation from my childhood was to have my parents take me to the trampoline park, which was down by the beach, and jump up and down on the trampoline for as long as I wanted (a favorite birthday outing). I didn't try to do any kind of tricks - I just wanted to jump up and down looking out over the ocean while I did so. The trampoline park gave you a generous amount of time for your 2 dollars - in fact, I think you got a whole hour, if I remember right - so I would ask my father to pay for me to get a couple of hours of jumping in. I also owned a pogo stick, and I would Pogo around our very large block over and over again for several hours at a time, or put on my street skates and skate around the block for a few hours. (These last two may be more the ADHD side of my nature.) All of this was back in the days when kids were allowed to be free range, which gave me a great deal more outlet for my boundless energy then I would have had if my parents had wanted to watch over me all the time. Of course the thing is, that high functioning autism was not a thing in the DSM back then, so I never really got any kind of diagnosis as a child. Naturally I got all kinds of wrong diagnoses as an adult, later on… On the other hand, I didn't much like to go to certain kinds of street festivals as I got older, because there were always people on the move around me, leaving me in a situation where I was going to get bumped a lot, and occasionally get groped. Too little control in those kinds of situations! (However, in a concert venue I was perfectly able to take care of myself - once I was standing on a chair, and a guy walked past behind me and groped me: I spun on one foot on the chair (I'm a dancer), so that he was just coming past me as I was just coming towards him - with my fist! So he got punched out for his little endeavor. If he'd been moving fast enough to get further past me, I would have chased him down and punched him. I was adamantly in favor of asserting my women's rights - as I still am, though at age 68, I don't really have guys trying to grope me anymore - thank goodness!) So anyway, my sensory responses have always been very much situational. I have never gotten to the point where I could tolerate being in a room with multiple sources of sound going at the same time, and the typical various physical stimulus averse responses I had applied - eg, tags in clothing, scratchy seams, and socks bunching up underneath my feet when I was little, it socks were made of cotton, and did not have spandex/elastane in them, so they very quickly stretched out after you put them on, and began to slide down underneath your heels and bunch up underneath your instep. It never even occurred to me until I was an adult that this was most likely why my parents didn't take us out to parks very often - whenever we were out and needed to walk any distance, every 20 ft or so, I would start to wail, and have to sit down and pull my socks back up. There was one botanical garden where they took me, where the paths were covered in this really tiny gravel, which would get down inside your shoes as you walked. So when we went there, it was not just the socks, but also the gravel. I started walking off the path on the grass, which worked a little better (at least I didn't have to deal with the gravel), and went on this way until park personnel through us out because they had to keep off the grass policy. I was walking behind my parents, and they didn't notice that I had started walking on the grass, but they were lectured about " your not being able to control your children", etc. the situation was very easily solved by letting me wear flip-flops, but my parents grew up in the forties, and believe that polite little girls wore leather shoes and socks in nice places, and flip flops were only suitable for beachwear. I also have the usual sorts of food issues, which since my parents did not know I was autistic, were a source of huge contention: my father would get angry at me for not wanting the different foods on my plate to be touching each other, and once he came over and snatched my spoon and stirred all of the food up together. A really really bad meltdown ensued, and I was carried off to my room and shut up to “cry it out” alone. My father was so frustrated with my meltdowns, that he initiated a very bad practice with me: he would give me a glass of wine when I couldn't stop crying. Unfortunately, this kind of set me up for a number of years of problem drinking, later on, but I did eventually get a handle on that. My control freak nature worked in my favor, in quitting both drinking and smoking, because I could not tolerate anything or anyone else having control over me. The ADHD part of me always gets the better of me when I reply to comments: I start writing, and my stream of consciousness just carries me away! "I would have written a shorter response, but I didn't have the time" (a response attributed variously to Blaise Pascal, Cicero, John Locke, Henry David Thoreau, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin and Woodrow Wilson, by different sources. Whoever said it, it certainly fits me! 😄)
I have been realizing that i am autistic and have been living with adhd because of watching videos like yours and other adults who are also autistic. I have tons of issues with sleep and temperature regulation. For myself, it takes time for my brain to unwind and shutdown from the day. I just had a thought that it could be possible that since my brain is information focused, it may be starting the usually unconcious process of aifting through information, processing it, and placing in memory cells. I find myself orten ruminating about the day or week when i should be falling asleep. In addition to this, i wake up often at night. I would say i am a light sleeper, so light that even turning over wakes me up. And finally, my body runs hot, so it is harder to find that comfortable temperature and position where i can sleep better. I tend to like it cold, the cooler the better. During summer i uae the coolest setting on our heat pump which is 64, and on our standing a/c in our bedroom at 60 degrees. I live in Oregon, and winters in general are mild... that is to say that 30 degrees doesn't really feel that cold.
Smell? No, I barely smell anything. I remember smelling things when I was a small child. I was 58, when a friend's pastor said to him, "Do you realize your friend Tentoes is autistic?" I thought he was nuts. "He works with autistic people." Oh, i guess he might know what he is talking about. Over the next few months, two other people, who would know what they are talking about said things to me, so I did a little research. Oh, THAT's why I hate sudden noises, or lights in my sight, or any "glooey" food, or knit clothes, ot tags, or shoes... I don't have an official paper saying, "this brat is autistic," but now I know why I don't keep my hands still, or look people in the eye, or stay still during worship. 😳
You don't know you're autistic if you don't have an official diagnosis. You think you are from the sound of it, but you are just going off of what other people told you so you don't have solid proof that you're not neurotypical yet. You can think you're autistic, but you cannot claim to know that you are right now.
What do you mean by glue-ey food? Is this food that clumps together in a big mass? I for instance don’t like when sushi has cream cheese in it, changes sushi (different, loosely connected parts) into a giant cream cheese glob in your mouth, that is contradictory to the idea of sushi to me.
When I realized who the host of the video was I…. Became so SHY!! I mean I am SHY right now!! SHYYYYY! lol. And I promise I am saying this lovingly. I think about Chris’ reaction to Debby coming home and I smile so big. ❤
Neat to see you talk about smells and odors, out of all my senses that’s what bothers me the most personally. I can smell gross smells that other people don’t smell at all, but to me it smells very strong and drives me crazy
Question, if you don't mind. 😊 **Would the 4 and a half hour, neuro-psyche-cognitive tests that I took when I got my ADHD diagnosis also have picked up ASD? Because they added depression, ptsd, and "some sort of brain damage" that they couldn't pin a name to. 🤷♀️ They put it in the diagnostic write-up because of the way I melted down and used words and phrasing when they'd exhausted my brain to it's limita. I found that weird, and I'm pretty aggravated at the way the doctors are fine with the diagnosis and don't think it necessary to delve into exactly what KIND of damage was found. I'd like to know so I can find ways to try to make myself feel better. Those tests were given to me because I was experiencing some cognitive decline along with pretty serious memory issues. Those tests are brutal though! How embarrassing. I melted down during the wooden blocks section. I started crying and came so close to throwing them across the room. 😵💫🤯 Thank you. 😊
You mentioned the temperature in Celsius. Are you guys Canadian? I'm in Quebec :) Thank you for the content! All of your videos are giving me a lot to think about. I'm pretty sure I'm AuDHD. And that explains A LOT. So thank you and keep up the good work 💜
This is exactly my son. I just never saw this. Just recently found out because Chris told me. He’s having a lot of meltdowns now. Ur video has helped me to understand what’s happening and what he’s going through. Thank you 😢
OMG the fricking sleep deprivation! I don't need that much sleep day to day and I always feel like I need to catch up because I have a tendency to hyperfixate on my personal special interests (Mainly video games). I love video games! I could talk to you for, seemingly years, constantly info dumping to my closest friends. I know from experience that if I info dump to you, it means I really like you(although some info dumps(especially the game "oxygen not included") are so thick that, unless you played it, you probably can't keep up with my intellect. it frustrates me a little when it happens like this because I just shared my most prized game recommendation with a person and they might as well have missed every word(but accompanying the frustration is also understanding that I just used a lot of really huge words that the person that I'm talking to may need time to process the meaning of, yet I can't seem to stop myself from going too fast in my excitement.)) there's another dump for you funny enough...🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I love this channel!
I am not officially diagnosed, and if I am on the autism spectrum, I am definitely on the less severe end, but I also think I have ADHD and they fight each other out in my brain. I find myself craving a schedule but find it difficult to upkeep a set schedule. When my work schedule gets really packed, I have a hard time focusing and feel like I need to go lie down in a dark room and be alone in order to regain any focus. I am consistently stimming, they aren't super large stims like hand flapping, but I do a lot of leg bouncing, and playing with my hair. When im by myself I do a lot of rocking back and forth. Sometimes if im not paying attention to what im doing to stim I will put stuff in my mouth such as jewelry/sweatshirt strings (really embarrassing to do in public as an adult so i have to put a lot of energy into doing more socially acceptable stimming). I even recently realized I do stuff that I didn't even know was stimming, like focusing on a specific spot out of the corner of my eye, picking my nails, picking my skin etc. I don't have a super bad sensitivity to most smells but car air fresheners give me an awful headache. The sun is a big sensory issue for me, even when it is overcast outside I have a hard time being present and having a conversation without wearing sunglasses to block the sun. Ive noticed if i dont allow myself to stim i carry even more tension in my body, my shoulders and jaw are always clenched. I hate hate hate eating stuff like beans by themselves or anything like super mushy, and tomatoes. I only have like three actual friends, all of whom also have adhd/bipolar disorder/on the spectrum. Ive never thought I was on the spectrum until recently when I started graduate school. Looking back though in high school and at my childhood there are many other signs I can think of. As a kid I think the signs may have been less obvious because I was doing gymnastics and got a lot of energy out and had my parents helping me manage my needs. But I was never good at sports involving moving objects, I dont have the motor skills for that. Gymnastics/tumbling got more difficult for me once I got to certain level (trying to do full twists/flips on the beam) because I dont think I have a good sense of where my body is in space. Im an incredibly slow walker, and people still to this day sometimes have to guide me out of people's way when Im out and about because i have a hard time paying attention to where other people are. I was always super into science, school, and following the rules. My parents tried to get me to watch this one movie where a guy gets killed by a bear when I was little and I said why would you let me watch this, this isnt for kids? I started outsmarting my older siblings who are 12+ years older than me at a very young age. I dont remember a lot of my interactions as a very young child, I think I was less unmasked and unaware then. As I went to high school and started learning and being made more aware of whats "normal," being around other kids all day long and in the general high school environment made me sweat profusely. I didn't have many friends at all, people only talked to me beside my one best friend when they needed help with something. College was better because I got more breaks in my class schedule and felt less like an outsider at a clickly high school. Now in graduate school I have to teach undergraduates and it is very stressful for me. I think I have an auditory processing disorder and I get easily overwhelmed by there being so many people expecting me to be able to help them at once. Sometimes I will not know the answer to a question a student asks, and then I think of it immediately once Im by myself again. I just want to work in a lab I like, make my own schedule, and see the same people everyday, then I will know what to expect and wont feel like my environment is constantly so chaotic. I also can pick up on other people's feelings very well when its someone i care about and I feel what they are feeling to the point of which it is painful to me and make me need to shutdown/not say much until I can get away and ball my eyes out on my own time. I also sometimes dont know how I feel about something until much later after Ive had time to calm down and process it. I currently cannot go to sleep very well and turn my brain off without smoking a small amount of marijuana. Then once I do go to sleep its like im dead, im an extremely deep sleeper and dont even get me started on how difficult it is for me to get out of bed in the morning. I also feel like I need way more sleep than most people, especially after having a lot of extra things to do that aren't normally a part of my schedule. Ive slept for 14 hours straight before on a Friday after a long week. But im not depressed, I have hard days for sure, but my overall out look and functioning does not match up with someone who just has depression. If you read all this and think I could have ASD too plz let me know, thx.
I also do not like making eye contact at all and have a hard time listening if I do. I in general have a hard time listening to auditory information, but if I read something I will remember it and understand it no problem
I really hate traveling. I need a reason to travel somewhere. I like to see other places sometimes because of the history of this place or beautiful nature. No, I need it warm at home. But Im a woman too. Could be a reason. It´s very nice that you two create the videos together. I think you are a good couple 😁
Thanks for your nice words! And I don't think I'd travel very much (or nearly as far) if it wasn't for Debby, so I am pretty lucky. Also makes a difference where you are probably - I didn't travel much growing up because I was in a pretty remote area and would have been a lot of hassle to travel. But we'll try to bring some of the travel to you in our videos in the future 😊 we also have some ideas for ways we'd like to make travel easier for the autistic community
@@ChrisandDebby the airport is not to far away but I still have to reach it by car, which I don´t have. I love my home. I don´t care staying here the whole year. It´s also a tourist destination. Rüdesheim, not so far away from me, is very famous.
In high school, I used to say hi to my friends when they came up about 10 feet behind me. They were all creeped out that I identified them by smell. For sleeping, I’ve got a comforter from Rest Duvet. It has terrific temperature-regulating properties. I didn’t believe it would do anything and thought for sure I’d be returning it. Nope. It’s wonderful!
Thanks for sharing this! We actually just ordered a Rest Duvet set based on your recommendation and after reading lots of other reviews like yours - can't wait to see how this helps with Chris's sleep too. And wow, your sense of smell sounds so impressive - a real super-sense! I feel like that could come in handy for a lot of situations
I bought that same comforter. It's so luxurious, in that beautiful cream color. It feels great on skin, so I push the top sheet down to feel the comforter on my back and shoulders. It doesn't help with the heat I feel when waking up, unfortunately. @ChrisandDebby
I used to be a bank teller, which I loved, but I HATED that my hands smelled like coins at the end of the day, no matter how many times I washed my hands. My husband would say they didn’t smell like anything, but they definitely did!
If you are ever able to do another video like this, please mention that some autistic people run cold not hot. I am always freezing cold, I can touch things right out of the oven, my husband bought me eating food strait out of the hot frying pan. I almost always have burns on my hands and arms that I don't even remember getting. For every hyper-sensitive autistic person, there is a hypo-sensitive one. I am hyper sensitive to sound though. Also, I feel the slightest hunger pain so I eat all the time. Also, I find eating is a kind of fidgeting that stops me from feeling other things like uncomfortable clothes. I want to crunch food all the time for the sensory experience. I force myself to not constantly eat, but it is so hard. Now that I understand stimming and allow myself to do it, I find sometimes I can rock and hum to get my mind of wanting to eat. Other than not mentioning those possibilities in autistic people, it was a good video.
36. recently diagnosed as ASD level 1. Chris and I share a lot of the same experiences. I never knew my "outbursts" were actually having a meltdown. Now that I know, I have taken steps to understanding what individual things lead up to me having that meltdown. One of the biggest things I have identified is that I overextend myself in social situations because I want to "fit in." Forcing myself to interact and put on a show (otherwise known as masking) always made me exhausted and tired, but I never knew WHY. I never realized that my overly self-conscious analytical brain was actually me not being able to follow what was going on in a conversation or group setting while everything else in the background was amplified and crazy. Cheers to understanding!
25 years with my undiagnosed partner has given me lots of time to observe him. He records and watches tv shows over and over. He can’t handle commercials, and by recording them, he can skip over them. He has watched episodes of Big Bang Theory so many times, he can mouth the script along with the actors. Self-medicating. To quote him, a particular substance helps “quiet my brain”. About meltdowns; not only are they exhausting for the person having them, they’re also exhausting for the person witnessing them. Most of the time, I can be patient and understanding, but if I’m not feeling well, or I’ve had a difficult day, I have to extricate myself from the situation. Since he doesn’t have an official diagnosis, he has no way of learning techniques to help him, and as he ages and is 11:11 developing physical health issues, his meltdowns are becoming more frequent and public.
I have a dear friend of the opposite sex that I'm convinced is on the spectrum. She is a very young 67 years old and talks about her many symptoms often. I wonder if I should share what I've learned with her.
Before my mom died, I’m not sure if she believed me when I told her I couldn’t smell the presumed bad odor of teenage me and cats making messes in my bedroom before I moved away from home. She was convinced I’d become nose-blind and simply was accustomed to the odor. No. Body odor is a concept to me. So is the scent they put into natural gas to make it easy to smell a gas leak. Deodorant? That’s something I use on faith. My sense of smell is at least 99% useless. If you count on my sense of smell to determine if food or whatever is safe, you’ve earned your death. I’ve never smelled food I eat in my life that I can be sure of. There’s the medical model of disability, and then there’s the social model. For sense of smell? It’s truly medical for me, I’d have to say: it’s a safety issue, even! And yet, sometimes I can detect certain things, like smoke or vape or some colognes or perfumes, but those often get me with an asthma attack first, but I think in all those cases, I’m likely tasting particles in the air with my tongue. Not once can I remember smelling something I wanted to smell.
Yes! Very helpful! I think my daughter is in the spectrum and other members of my family! But she doesn't want to talk about it cause she thinks that she's only an introvert. Well I will be patient ...thank you ❤
Good video! I can relate to most all of it except for any food textures .. that has never bothered me. I love 💕 love your pink hoodie top. Where can I buy one?
@@DanniBby The list under the timestamps is also a list that TBI’ers experience. All of them match a pattern of symptoms for TBI, which in many cases can recover, different post TBI, but can regain functionality. Flat affect can be added too.
For me when I wake up in the night, the breaths of my husband and daughter sleeping make me hard to impossible to fall asleep again, same with ticking clocks, I also hear buzz of a lamp and ticking watch on a wrist so I don’t wear it. I also had to leave my auntie’s car because of smells there and her fragrance perfume. It was absolutely awful to me, hard to breathe
@@shevawnbasye7404 yes, I use them during the day at home because I used to have panic attacks caused by the noise my little daughter makes. But I’m the night I sleep on my left side so it hurts my left ear if I have anything in it. So unfortunately it’s not a solution for me. The only solution is sleeping alone on the sofa but then my husband get sad that I’m sleeping alone.
On the runnin hot part and needin the temp under 20c, i feel this one even harder than all the rest i feel hard heh My room is the only room in the house with a closed heater and the rest of the house is kept at 18-20c; bcuz we all are rather heat sensitive in this house... But im the one who has the heater closed and window fan left in even in winter so i can keep my room as cold as possible. Like my ideal is i can see my breath, bcuz then i can comfy wear my footed pjs and also feel far better than i do when its even just 10-15c and im naked Im actually rly happy its 0 **F** outside around here (like -18c), as ive been the comfiest in my room feelin so cold i need my pjs on sometimes
Wow, those temperatures are just like me! I would also keep the windows open in the winter if I were in a place like that - and I also prefer to layer up in cold temperatures than to be at all warm. Being too hot just makes me cranky
@@ChrisandDebby Felt sm on that part, it didnt even warm up much, just a bit above freezin today, but i woke up and felt sweaty and uncomfy for it just cuz my body warmed up overnight even tho my rooms still prty cold
6:28 oh god I HATE the dentist--the sound and feeling of the drill or cleaning tools is just horrible i cant stand it i wish they would knock me out for a tooth cleaning because its literal torture, i cry the entire time every time and relive the feeling over and over for YEARS.
All of these are so relatable. I ate peanut butter sandwiches for six months on grade school and would gag on broccoli (the stem is awful). I don’t mind changing of plans as much only because I don’t expect anything to go right ever l, which is probably bad but it’s better than having an emotional reaction when it does go wrong, but I hate interruptions. I tend to need a lot of visual stimulation though and am calmed down by flashing lights (ADHD must be doing that I guess).
It is very good to listen to a NT thinking person describe our whole life. Understand, I believe you do! You MUST be good for him! Understanding is not something we typically get… I’ll have to look and see if you guys have a vid on how to find a Dr or therapist who has a clue! Thanks for the video.
Yes to smells, absolutely, to the point of vomiting and migraines sometimes. Seams and tags can be painful. I thought it was simply fibromyalgia. I only have a texture problem with slimy foods, like raw oysters or prime rib. I hate any kind of pickled foods. Lights can definitely mess with me. Can’t stand fluorescent lights. Loud sounds, sudden sounds, too many different sounds all at once. Constantly feeling fight or flight, panic attacks (meltdowns). I used to be a good sleeper as a child. As I got past 40, sleep has been an issue. I set alarms to remind me to eat. I am ALWAYS cold.
Huh...I was diagnosed with being on the Autism spectrum at 55. I knew some of these traits but not all. Several times I have punched a wall when someone sprayed cologne or cleaner in the house. I have been told I am nuts. I have to eat Reeces peanut butter cups every night before bed or I can't sleep. I like the textures of the hard chocolate and soft peanut butter. Of course I love the taste too. I hate clothes not 100% cotton. I cut the tags out of my clothes.
@@vickiamundsen2933I know! And all the clothes on Amazon are coming from China who has been making a lot of clothes with weird shiny polyester material. Ugh.
Sensory issues can also be undersensitivity. My husband mostly exhibits as undersensitive to pain or discomfort, which causes him to get hurt more severely and not get medical help when he should. He craves more strong flavors than other people. He desires physical touch and doesn't mind things that would normally cause discomfort, sometimes to the point of getting rashes from irritants on the skin that he doesn't notice.
I run cold. Incredibly cold. All the time. Not anemia, not other health issues. I get upset at any amount of coolness or even wind from the fan. Hate it. My home is at 80-82* F at all times, and I use a heat blanket all the time when I sleep. I also wear pants and a hoodie until it's over 95* outside.
Oh my god, I do the food thing. Sometimes I will get fixated on one particular food and it's the only thing that will satisfy me... It even gets to the point that I might even skip a meal if I can't have the food I'm fixated on for at least one meal. It'll go on until I get tired of it or something happens to break the cycle.
What makes you say he seems unaware? Like he wears heavy coats when it’s hot? Or never gets cold? I’d love to know more! Also what else does he seem to be unaware of about himself? Sorry for probing, you just said enough to get me interested, but not enough for me to understand. 😄😄
@@ChrisandDebby haha, yes, he wears too much in summer and not enough in winter... Your latest video covers the subject more, as he can't express how he feels, particularly when he's ill. He will say he feels sick just the moment before he vomits as a crude example. Does this make sense? I find it hard to explain things sometimes, and that's why I go for the short answer... Thank you for your channel. It is most helpful!
Quite many things matched. Except I have issues dealing with cold, I can’t withstand hunger at all and I’d rather have variety in the stuff I eat or drink than go with the same stuff over and over again. But I realized from my stepdaughter things that I used to have in childhood when the symptoms were much stronger and everything felt and tasted wrong. Also I pretty much know what’s happening in my system but I have only recently understood that those things are not normal. Also different people have different cases of autism. My partner didn’t realize I’m having a shutdown and tried to force me have the conversation at the moment many years ago. They need to resolve things immediately and I need breaks to function. It’s a path of constant learning.
I am hyposensitive to smell and sound. I will seek for the smell of coins, clinics, and the smell from electrical shop (that's really addictive for me). And then I need music to regulate and calm myself down. I am hypersensitive to the feeling of hunger and I feel I will die if I do not eat immediately.
McDonald’s stopped making hot mustard sauce for a while, and that really triggered my mom and me bad. We still talk about it. There was also a recall on Excedrine at the same time. That was a rough year. 😬
Love the content--but have to do audio-only, due to the moving text effects, plus whatever's going on with the camera changing every few seconds. Would you consider making the visuals more neuro-divergent-friendly?
Thanks for the nice words! And yes - this was one of our earliest videos so we’re adjusting based on feedback (including having no background music and adjusting the flashing transitions). Hope you’ll check out some of our newer content and let us know what you think!
I always buy the exact same groceries for over 4 months and have to get that specific brand and flavor. I get scared so easily even when I see someone walking towards me. I do hear every sound around me like the sound of the refrigerator or fan when it is quiet. Yes the ac will be so loud and will keep me up.
Thanks, Debby. I have a nose like a dog. I once was rejected for a job as a perfume tester because my nose was too sensitive. I can smell people in passing cars.. As I sit here typing I can smell soap that isn't mine; soon, someone will walk past the front door. And so on.
I once lived near a fragrance factory. Curious about their payscale, I went in 1 day. A few of their chemistry lab staff heard me say my nose was sensitive. They asked me if I would be willing to sniff & identify some fragrances. I obliged & did well answering what layers were in the samples. (Woodsy, fruity, flowery.. ) They offered a job. I refused, knowing that the odors would be too much for me & result in headaches & frustration. It was bad enough living a few blocks away. I hate patchouli & some other woodsy fragrances. Sometimes, even a short exposure to a fragrance can cause a bad headache, or an irritated & not easily shaken bad mood. Also, hate it if a server has cologne on that I smell after I leave a restaurant, even if I am only getting coffee to go. My sister knows I won't hug or kiss her if her patchouli residue she put on 3 days ago is irritating me. I hate it if I shower & am by a smoker & can later smell it in my hair & then cannot wait to shower it off. Ugh- so infuriating!
i lack an organic understanding of people. that alone should tip off most people that i'm autistic, no matter how hard i try to hide it and "be" normal. also, please remember that hypoglycemia can trigger or help trigger meltdowns. the last time i had a crying screaming meltdown in public, it was because of a long string of irritations + hypoglycemia: EXTREMELY LOUD PERSISTENT COMPETING NOISE + nasty facility smells and filth and sticky floor feeling and sound sensations and general chaos at my dad's nursing home + our food order being over an hour late + because of the horrible noise, there being NOWHERE for us to sit and eat when lunch finally did arrive...and because food is more stimulus than i can cope with in the morning, lunch was really breakfast, and it arrived at 2 in the afternoon and i couldn't even settle down enough to be able to eat until 3 pm. and i was well over 50 yrs old at the time, and i can't remember ever having a meltdown like that in public as an adult because i mask so well. thankfully, my dad slept through the whole "storm," and when he woke up from his nap, i was calm enough so we could both eat. and i was thankful that my adhd friend who'd come with was driving that day (she almost had a meltdown at the noise, too, it was so bad) because i'm not sure i could have gotten myself home safely.
That meltdown sounds like it was so hard! You’re really lucky you had your friend with you - I also have had issues with hypoglycemia and that is really, really hard. I wonder how much is also connected with alexithymia? The whole situation sounds like it would have been so hard and I can’t imagine the sensory overload you went through 😥 I doubt I would have made it more than 5 minutes
@@ChrisandDebby lol!! i have to look up "alexithymia." i've seen the word go by on video thumbnails but haven't dug into it yet. i only just learned about monotropism (and of course saw my photo under the definition as an exemplar). XD the funny thing about that meltdown is that 99.9% of the time, of the two of us (my adhd friend and me), I'M the one with the working executive function. hers cuts out randomly, and she has almost made a mantra of "oh, i wasn't thinking." so--no dig at her intended!!!!!--i can't exactly trust her to help when i need it most because she just doesn't have the wiring. so even when i'm out of control myself, i still have to at least direct her or nothing happens that needs to happen. so thank goodness that, even at my worst, once i regain fluency, i can at least start directing her and asking for help (which, of course, she may not understand enough to provide, even when i am dead literal in my direction...and that, of course, demands every iota of my patience to manage civilly). she's been my best friend for decades, and i wouldn't trade a hair on her head for anything on earth, but we sure are an odd pair! all of that said, neurotypical brains are weird, nonlinear, and patently unreliable, so in my heart of hearts, i really don't think either of us neurodivergent peeps is badly off when it really comes down to brass tacks. :)
well, [expletive]--i haz alexithymia. read the article, took the online test, flunked (scored 131, well into the rule-in category). dammit. and i thought i was doing so well digging into understanding and identifying my emotions for my sanity's sake for all these years...going from bambi in bambi vs godzilla to godzilla in bambi vs godzilla...rushing in where even fools fear to tread...! [expletive, expletive, and more expletives] ...*sigh*...well, at least now i know...and i thank you mightily for cluing me in!
I’m sure the men would be lucky to have you too! It’s tricky and took time for me to understand too, but it also always seems to be a matter of finding the right person who you can truly be yourself with - for both people. I’m hoping some of what we are sharing can help more people be more understanding but also help other people, like some autistics, better understand what could be happening (that they didn’t even know was “different”) and put it into words as well. We both didn’t realize for so long how different our brains worked and that made it hard for us both sometimes. Hope you’re able to find someone who truly values you for you - you deserve it!
Is it really possible that neurotypical can make a adequate diagnosis for autism. I‘m shure its just a case of appearance; means: if we would have more autistic people on this planet they would make a diagnosis for the neurotypical. Of course this diagnosis would be much more precise. Until we reach this point we have to arrange with the „standard disabled“ .
My step-son woke me up last night with video games at 1:11am.... i had a complete and utter meltdown......several times a week it happens for one reason or another......i am so tired......i just want someone to take me seriously....
The smelly thing is reeeealy not funny! I can smell blood...pretty helpful just before someone's period starts. I can smell rain the day before it rains. Perfume is hell! Especially on the weekends, when everyone seems to be spraying perfume by the bottle. ...Wet animal fur, full baby diapers, fried or cooked mushrooms, certain spices... there's a long list
sorry, but self diagnosis of autistic adults is actually what led them to finally get diagnosed if they fell through the cracks as kids/teens. you need to be organized as hell so they won't dismiss you right away. most of us know for quite some time that we're autistic but waiting lists etc. are extremely long and it can take up years to finally get diagnosed as an adult. that's why it's not ok to dismiss self diagnosis. as if we don't know we're autistic... it's a bit funny, since you "diagnosed" your partner first and even made a video about some autistic traits in adults. so it's a form of self diagnosis and yet, act dismissive. nobody questions a self diagnosis of a cold or depression, because without, you won't consult a doctor, would you!? but somehow, we're made a target cause we figure out what's going on with us actually and we need to justify everything and are expected to reveal every little bit of information regarding why we came to this conclusion.
That’s a good question, but can you give a bit more context? Do you mean about asking for things from the other person? Or starting a conversation but the other person isn’t participating? Spoken vs written communication? I’ll check back and try to respond after knowing a bit more of what you mean 😊
Yes, totally valid - and certainly not a low temperature to a lot of people. And you’re right - that’s definitely not “low” by many standards (about 68F for Americans)! We are currently living in Taiwan, so tropical climate (summer is around 34-36C every day and humid 🥵 ) and the normal temperature they keep buildings at is generally 25C or 26C but feels hotter. So the flip side is anything below 22C is chilly to them. Even our colleagues originally from the U.S. will say 20C is cold after being in Taiwan for a while! But you’re right that what’s a “low” temperature or chilly is all relative to what you’re used to
I dont like bad smells or too much noise , but i think lots of people are like that they dont have to be Autistic. My partner is Autistic . I just want to know how it is for them.
What is the opposite of sensitivity? I’m so unaware of textures, tastes, smells, clutter, anything that normal people reacting to anything is strange to me 😂
I love this channel and the videos you guys create but I feel the expression "having autism" is not really what being autistic is all about. Autism isn't something you "have" as you can't "give it away" but rather the way you ARE. 🙃
Just a tad bit insensitive, my eyes really felt, when you stated that fluorescent lights can be an issue for some and then you proceeded to add in an edit of a Fluorescent. Light. 🤦🏾♀️😒😑😵😵💫😮💨 This comment is serious and not meant to be a joke in any way.
I enjoy the videos on this channel here... don't love the use of "with autism" instead of autistic people since it sounds like there is something wrong with us.. that we have or are a problem (something I've experienced within a professional environment).. also prefer has autistic traits to "on the spectrum" since the spectrum is... a spectrum of traits that scale in intensity for an individual. Don't think I'm telling you guys anything you don't already know.. but it causes my ears to 'perk up' every time I hear them in your videos.
Thank you for using the term" non- autistic" instead of "allistic". The word "allistic" bothers me because well it was ostensibly coined as slightly less clunky way of saying non- autistic I have only ever seen it used as a slur against people that aren't autistic or especially against neurotypicals. I am 90% sure that allistic WAS conceived as a slur and the explanation it's proponents put forward is a lie.
Hey thanks for sharing this. I’m not aware of the history of the word allistic to be honest with you, and I’ve never seen it used as a slur, but after reading your comment I’m going to investigate. I have to admit (don’t be mad) that I’ve used the term allistic before - fairly recently. I sure as heck am not trying to bash neurotypicals though. There’s too many I like! 😂😂 Thanks for being here and sharing!
"Freeze" Fight, flight or freeze. More like, "my brain is still trying to process (think electrical static storm) all the options possible in that "simple" choice you just gave me."
There is no such thing as a “non autistic” or autistic, there’s simply people who are or who are not on the ASD spectrum. The language you use is othering, ableist and invalidating. Try better next time.
First issue is thinking AuDHD is like someone with ASD and someone with ADHD and squished into one person. It would basically be like me as a man describing menstrual cramps and how it feel to give birth and claiming I'm an expert on being a woman and women just need to put on their big boy pants and stop whining. I'm all for more AuDHD content, but don't confuse it with the world of someone having ASD or ADHD.
I very recently learned that I’m autistic in my early 30s, and I’ve strongly suspected that my biological dad is autistic. He’d get defensive and brush it off if anyone suggested it to him, but I see him struggling and it hurts. Yet, him being told he may be autistic would hurt him, so it feels like a lose-lose situation.
Sorry to hear about the challenges your dad is facing, and I (Debby) can definitely see that being a huge struggle. Chris was actually very resistant to the idea at first, so I brought it up in a variety of different ways, but it was mostly when he would share some of the challenges he was having and I could connect it sometimes to common issues for autistic people, like executive functioning challenges. I didn't even say autism for a while after I had initially broached the idea, but we focused instead on the symptoms that were bothering him the most and ways to help him out with them. You can hear more about the specifics of his diagnosis story in his video (and he also talks some about how I helped guide him towards this): th-cam.com/video/zerlIKPEgTU/w-d-xo.html
But I do feel like if the goal is to help your dad in areas where he's struggling, the focus doesn't really have to be on the diagnosis just yet, but on ways to support him where he struggles the most. So basically you could be operating under the assumption he is autistic, but just helping to make adjustments rather than focusing on diagnosis just yet. I will be sharing a video soon where I talk about some of the adjustments I help with, but it's also something very individual based on the person, as I'm sure you're seeing with yourself. Chris and I are working on creating more information for this too, so if you want to be updated when it's ready, you can sign up for our email list here: chrisanddebby.mykajabi.com/join-us
Your dad is lucky that you're trying to learn and support him though! But it can be challenging for sure, and not something you could do on your own. (You also might still be learning about this for yourself, just like Chris still is too.) It might be good for other people in the family or who spend a lot of time with him to talk about what adjustments might be possible for him, such as helping him out with things that are particularly stressful or areas where he struggles. Feel free to email if you'd like to discuss this further! contactchrisanddebby@gmail.com
Thanks for sharing your experiences and for being here!
What a generous and supportive reply, I'm sure it will help other people too ❤@@ChrisandDebby
I have noticed that it is not so much about being hot, but not being able to regulate bodytemperature correctly. I am cold all of the time.
Yes, that is a good way to phrase it! Seems that a lot of autistic people are on both ends of the hot-cold spectrum
I have POTS which is not uncommon for autistic women. It makes me get both too hot and too cold.
I was always unbearably cold until I hit menopause and now I am unbearably hot.
My temperature regulation seems average, but I sweat excessively during exercise. Even when I am physically fit I sweat more than most other people.
Geeeeze that to?! 😅😅😅
What a TEAM! You both are doing a fantastic job by helping the world not only grasp the challenges of living with autism, but loving better!
Thank you, thank you for your wonderful work!! ❤
In the uk we have Wetherspoons. It's a chain pub, who also do food. Basic and predictable. Every "spoons" you go to has exactly the same menu with exactly the same cutlery and plates. This is Uk wide. They used to serve waffles with blueberry compot and icecream. Then one day in 2012, they stopped. Without warning. I'm still upset. And my raspberry coloured skinny jeans, spent years trying to find another pair. Still upsets me 🙃
Waffles with blueberry compote and ice cream? Sounds American, though only if it's a giant plate with 4 scoops of ice cream.
@@barrydworak it was on a big plate, probably only 2 scoops though...
This is somewhat different from my family’s experience. We are AuDHD & sensory seekers. For example, we are more likely to enjoy something strongly flavored. I also want to point out that often times we are not aware that we are getting uncomfortable until we are melting down or shutting down. There is a lot of lack of insight, at least in my experience. What we experience is all we know, so it takes such a reframing to even get to a point where we can understand why so many of our senses are experienced differently by the majority of people. For the longest time, I thought I should try harder to tolerate everything that was making me uncomfortable, because everybody else must be doing it so much better than me.
Does anyone with ADHD/ASD have what they'd call a foggy brain, just always feels like there is a fog in your brain stopping you form thinking and you just can't get your head around the issue/s at hand let a lone solve it?
Do you have this pretty often or does it come periodically or in cycles?
@@ChrisandDebbyits there all the time, ive been on a new anti depressant that went a bit south so they gave me seditives, any way I took 2 as 1 wasn't working, wow I had no idea i was so tense all the time, it was the first time i felt relaxed in a long time. that night I sleep great woke up bacck didn't hurt as much and apparently i didn't snore, that day problems that I could not come at for so long suddenly were easy to solve I felt the fog lifting a fog that had been there so long i didn't know it was there but for 6-8 hours I could think and it was clearer then it has ever been, I could think properly and I want that back so badly.
really I don't know anymore its been so long
I’m not a doctor so I can’t say too much about prescription meds. I would however strongly suggest you talk to your doctor and express your concerns with the medication. You might also want to research a good psychiatrist and find out whether or not you are autistic. Meds and therapy are different based on what’s happening in your brain. If you don’t know what’s happening or are misdiagnosed, you can create some serious long term health problems.
@@ChrisandDebbySorry, DR gave me a med that did not agree, I went a little off track, more myself again now. ADHD has been diagnosed but I have to wait for the ADHD/ASD assessment in however many months before medication can be looked at.
I’m sensitive to loud sounds, but what seems to bother me more is multiple sounds at once. For example, the tv will be playing and my husband will turn on his iPad and be listening to music next to me. The combination of sounds together make my brain want to explode, lol. 😊
Same - I occasionally flip out a little then feel so embarrassed
SAME
Yep....🤯
Friends have observed that I can't tell where sounds are coming from, so I get really scared. Having PTSD and being hypervigilent is exhausting. I am also afraid of electric gadgets like dishwashers.
Sameeeeee when my husband and baby are gone, I like the house extremely quiet, except a TH-cam video I'm watching on my phone.
I have a really strong sense of smell too, I always get told off for blurting out ‘it stinks in here’ in shops and stuff but it tends to come out before I realise I’m meant to keep that inside, it embarrasses whoever I’m with but it’s such a strong smell that it’s overwhelming and I’m always sure they’re smelling it that strongly too but they’re either not or just want me to shut up and keep it to myself 😬🤦♀️🤦♀️ I can smell cigarette smoke a mile away too and if someone’s been drinking alcohol, I don’t even have to be close to them to smell it but cigarettes I can smell quite a long way away, like on other floors behind multiple shut doors it’s horrible 🤦♀️ I also HATE being hot! In the summer I’m so annoyed cuz I want to rip off my own skin cuz I can’t cool down enough 😭😭 I also do the whole headphones on and hide in the corner hoping to be ignored to regulate thing 🤦♀️it’s awful it’s like we’re super tuned into the world or something? Like all feelings and senses are amplified and it’s so overwhelming 😭
Hi Debby and Chris, thank you so much for this resource! I was thinking it would be really interesting to have a video like this from your non autistic perspective on executive dysfunction 😊
I agreed with everything in this list. I was finally professionally diagnosed with autism (in addition to a childhood Dx of ADHD) last year after a lifetime of being told by everyone I know that I am just too sensitive and picky. It took a long time to actually identify the things that push me over the edge, like food textures, smells, lights, and sounds because all the things are happening at once and it's really hard to identify the one thing that is causing the problem. Now, I try to isolate the thing that is bothering me by removing stimuli one by one until I find the culprit. Safe foods were and are a big thing for me. Today even as an adult if given the option I will always pick turkey hot dogs over every other food available. Fluorescent lights-especially in spaces where there are no other lights like a grocery store-destroy me. Thanks for this video!
I don't have an issue with fluorescent lights, but the sun is my nemesis. It feels overbearing bright. If I am exposed to it for too long it can trigger migraines.
I'm glad you mentioned the sun, I always see fluorescent light but that's ok. I always stick my sunglasses on when I'm driving if there's any bright sun shine, as any reflection can cause me issues.
I dislike l.e.d. lights but I know theres a b-vitamin than can affect tolerance to them.
@@catsthinkoutsidetheboxI never knew this…I hate LED lights- a real problem as so many Christmas decorations are made with them! Xx
The sun!
Thanks for sharing! Why did I not find this video 3 months ago? Not many neurotypical brains can put the outward visible signs into logical descriptions without subjective opinions. Between both sides of the sleep issue and too exhausted to want to deal with other's overwhelming problems, it is no wonder why I hate leaving my home.
@leilap2495 I'm also AuDHD and a sensory seeker (AuDHD - I like that - thanks! I think I'll use it), and this has often been to an extreme degree I can't tell you how many times I've had people say "you can't possibly be autistic - you like loud rock music" (well, sometimes - that's complicated) my earliest stadium concert was Led Zeppelin, when I was 15, and I had seats in the nosebleed section. That wasn't good enough for me, though, and I got up out of my seat and went right down to the front of the stage (security was not being aggressive about people doing that), and I stood their looking up at Robert and Jimmy from about 10 feet away - I just didn't feel like I would be really experiencing it unless it was actually overpowering me. I think there are a couple of possible reasons for this: one is that in a world where I'm constantly being bombarded with multiple sources of sound, being in a situation where there's only one actually feels really energizing. The second is that in a world where I felt like I had to be very tightly under control all the time (attempting to be a high masker - unsuccessfully, however), situations where I could just cut loose were also both energizing and relaxing. When I would come out of a concert, I always felt both relaxed and super energized. It is good for me to have someone I trust with me, however - or picking me up in front of the venue, at the very least - because being too relaxed can cause my defenses to be down, and I can be vulnerable to predators - of the human kind. Another thing that I have always liked to do (though this really requires me taking someone who I trust to kind of watch out for me, and run interference if staff get the wrong idea) is to go to the state fairs and watch the rides -- from REALLY up close. My favorite is the roundup, where the riders stand in booths around the outside of a large disc, which is then set to spinning, and once it reaches the velocity wear centrifugal force takes effect, it moves up into a vertical position, so that when you're on the upside of the disc you're looking down. I do like to ride this thing (I actually like riding all kinds of really scary rides), but I can't afford to ride it all the time I'm there, so the next best thing is to stand next to the ride, so that when it gets vertical, you've got lights either coming down or going up in front of you - depending on which side of the ride you're standing on - and then you can get this "2001: a Space Odyssey" kind of effect (I first saw that movie when I was about 10 or 11, and that was my favorite part of the movie - I like to sit right up in the front of the theater). So I guess you could say I was probably like an overstimulation junkie! I'm 68 now, and I don't really seek out over stimulation to that extent, anymore, however. Of course, I haven't been able to get anyone to take me to the State Fair in quite a few years - about 13 years, in fact.
Another form of overstimulation from my childhood was to have my parents take me to the trampoline park, which was down by the beach, and jump up and down on the trampoline for as long as I wanted (a favorite birthday outing). I didn't try to do any kind of tricks - I just wanted to jump up and down looking out over the ocean while I did so. The trampoline park gave you a generous amount of time for your 2 dollars - in fact, I think you got a whole hour, if I remember right - so I would ask my father to pay for me to get a couple of hours of jumping in. I also owned a pogo stick, and I would Pogo around our very large block over and over again for several hours at a time, or put on my street skates and skate around the block for a few hours. (These last two may be more the ADHD side of my nature.) All of this was back in the days when kids were allowed to be free range, which gave me a great deal more outlet for my boundless energy then I would have had if my parents had wanted to watch over me all the time. Of course the thing is, that high functioning autism was not a thing in the DSM back then, so I never really got any kind of diagnosis as a child. Naturally I got all kinds of wrong diagnoses as an adult, later on…
On the other hand, I didn't much like to go to certain kinds of street festivals as I got older, because there were always people on the move around me, leaving me in a situation where I was going to get bumped a lot, and occasionally get groped. Too little control in those kinds of situations! (However, in a concert venue I was perfectly able to take care of myself - once I was standing on a chair, and a guy walked past behind me and groped me: I spun on one foot on the chair (I'm a dancer), so that he was just coming past me as I was just coming towards him - with my fist! So he got punched out for his little endeavor. If he'd been moving fast enough to get further past me, I would have chased him down and punched him. I was adamantly in favor of asserting my women's rights - as I still am, though at age 68, I don't really have guys trying to grope me anymore - thank goodness!)
So anyway, my sensory responses have always been very much situational. I have never gotten to the point where I could tolerate being in a room with multiple sources of sound going at the same time, and the typical various physical stimulus averse responses I had applied - eg, tags in clothing, scratchy seams, and socks bunching up underneath my feet when I was little, it socks were made of cotton, and did not have spandex/elastane in them, so they very quickly stretched out after you put them on, and began to slide down underneath your heels and bunch up underneath your instep. It never even occurred to me until I was an adult that this was most likely why my parents didn't take us out to parks very often - whenever we were out and needed to walk any distance, every 20 ft or so, I would start to wail, and have to sit down and pull my socks back up. There was one botanical garden where they took me, where the paths were covered in this really tiny gravel, which would get down inside your shoes as you walked. So when we went there, it was not just the socks, but also the gravel. I started walking off the path on the grass, which worked a little better (at least I didn't have to deal with the gravel), and went on this way until park personnel through us out because they had to keep off the grass policy. I was walking behind my parents, and they didn't notice that I had started walking on the grass, but they were lectured about " your not being able to control your children", etc. the situation was very easily solved by letting me wear flip-flops, but my parents grew up in the forties, and believe that polite little girls wore leather shoes and socks in nice places, and flip flops were only suitable for beachwear.
I also have the usual sorts of food issues, which since my parents did not know I was autistic, were a source of huge contention: my father would get angry at me for not wanting the different foods on my plate to be touching each other, and once he came over and snatched my spoon and stirred all of the food up together. A really really bad meltdown ensued, and I was carried off to my room and shut up to “cry it out” alone. My father was so frustrated with my meltdowns, that he initiated a very bad practice with me: he would give me a glass of wine when I couldn't stop crying. Unfortunately, this kind of set me up for a number of years of problem drinking, later on, but I did eventually get a handle on that. My control freak nature worked in my favor, in quitting both drinking and smoking, because I could not tolerate anything or anyone else having control over me.
The ADHD part of me always gets the better of me when I reply to comments: I start writing, and my stream of consciousness just carries me away! "I would have written a shorter response, but I didn't have the time" (a response attributed variously to Blaise Pascal, Cicero, John Locke, Henry David Thoreau, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin and Woodrow Wilson, by different sources. Whoever said it, it certainly fits me! 😄)
I have been realizing that i am autistic and have been living with adhd because of watching videos like yours and other adults who are also autistic.
I have tons of issues with sleep and temperature regulation. For myself, it takes time for my brain to unwind and shutdown from the day. I just had a thought that it could be possible that since my brain is information focused, it may be starting the usually unconcious process of aifting through information, processing it, and placing in memory cells. I find myself orten ruminating about the day or week when i should be falling asleep. In addition to this, i wake up often at night. I would say i am a light sleeper, so light that even turning over wakes me up. And finally, my body runs hot, so it is harder to find that comfortable temperature and position where i can sleep better. I tend to like it cold, the cooler the better. During summer i uae the coolest setting on our heat pump which is 64, and on our standing a/c in our bedroom at 60 degrees. I live in Oregon, and winters in general are mild... that is to say that 30 degrees doesn't really feel that cold.
Not sure what I have but I definitely have all these symptoms! Smells bother, things that don’t work and loud people then I get overwhelmed
Smell? No, I barely smell anything. I remember smelling things when I was a small child. I was 58, when a friend's pastor said to him, "Do you realize your friend Tentoes is autistic?" I thought he was nuts. "He works with autistic people." Oh, i guess he might know what he is talking about.
Over the next few months, two other people, who would know what they are talking about said things to me, so I did a little research. Oh, THAT's why I hate sudden noises, or lights in my sight, or any "glooey" food, or knit clothes, ot tags, or shoes...
I don't have an official paper saying, "this brat is autistic," but now I know why I don't keep my hands still, or look people in the eye, or stay still during worship. 😳
Autistic people tend to go to extremes. Some of us smell everything, some of us smell nothing.
Same. Thank you for sharing 🙏
You don't know you're autistic if you don't have an official diagnosis. You think you are from the sound of it, but you are just going off of what other people told you so you don't have solid proof that you're not neurotypical yet. You can think you're autistic, but you cannot claim to know that you are right now.
What do you mean by glue-ey food? Is this food that clumps together in a big mass? I for instance don’t like when sushi has cream cheese in it, changes sushi (different, loosely connected parts) into a giant cream cheese glob in your mouth, that is contradictory to the idea of sushi to me.
When I realized who the host of the video was I…. Became so SHY!! I mean I am SHY right now!! SHYYYYY! lol. And I promise I am saying this lovingly. I think about Chris’ reaction to Debby coming home and I smile so big. ❤
Hahaha love this comment so much!! And yes, Chris has been very SHY today - Monday is a pretty shy day for us 🤣
Neat to see you talk about smells and odors, out of all my senses that’s what bothers me the most personally. I can smell gross smells that other people don’t smell at all, but to me it smells very strong and drives me crazy
Question, if you don't mind. 😊 **Would the 4 and a half hour, neuro-psyche-cognitive tests that I took when I got my ADHD diagnosis also have picked up ASD? Because they added depression, ptsd, and "some sort of brain damage" that they couldn't pin a name to. 🤷♀️ They put it in the diagnostic write-up because of the way I melted down and used words and phrasing when they'd exhausted my brain to it's limita. I found that weird, and I'm pretty aggravated at the way the doctors are fine with the diagnosis and don't think it necessary to delve into exactly what KIND of damage was found. I'd like to know so I can find ways to try to make myself feel better. Those tests were given to me because I was experiencing some cognitive decline along with pretty serious memory issues. Those tests are brutal though! How embarrassing. I melted down during the wooden blocks section. I started crying and came so close to throwing them across the room. 😵💫🤯
Thank you. 😊
You mentioned the temperature in Celsius. Are you guys Canadian? I'm in Quebec :) Thank you for the content! All of your videos are giving me a lot to think about. I'm pretty sure I'm AuDHD. And that explains A LOT.
So thank you and keep up the good work 💜
This is exactly my son. I just never saw this. Just recently found out because Chris told me. He’s having a lot of meltdowns now. Ur video has helped me to understand what’s happening and what he’s going through. Thank you 😢
This is so good! I was dx with ADD, but I relate to most of these. I can't function or sleep if I'm hot, and my thermostat is always 64-68. How funny!
OMG the fricking sleep deprivation! I don't need that much sleep day to day and I always feel like I need to catch up because I have a tendency to hyperfixate on my personal special interests (Mainly video games). I love video games! I could talk to you for, seemingly years, constantly info dumping to my closest friends. I know from experience that if I info dump to you, it means I really like you(although some info dumps(especially the game "oxygen not included") are so thick that, unless you played it, you probably can't keep up with my intellect. it frustrates me a little when it happens like this because I just shared my most prized game recommendation with a person and they might as well have missed every word(but accompanying the frustration is also understanding that I just used a lot of really huge words that the person that I'm talking to may need time to process the meaning of, yet I can't seem to stop myself from going too fast in my excitement.))
there's another dump for you funny enough...🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I love this channel!
I am not officially diagnosed, and if I am on the autism spectrum, I am definitely on the less severe end, but I also think I have ADHD and they fight each other out in my brain. I find myself craving a schedule but find it difficult to upkeep a set schedule. When my work schedule gets really packed, I have a hard time focusing and feel like I need to go lie down in a dark room and be alone in order to regain any focus. I am consistently stimming, they aren't super large stims like hand flapping, but I do a lot of leg bouncing, and playing with my hair. When im by myself I do a lot of rocking back and forth. Sometimes if im not paying attention to what im doing to stim I will put stuff in my mouth such as jewelry/sweatshirt strings (really embarrassing to do in public as an adult so i have to put a lot of energy into doing more socially acceptable stimming). I even recently realized I do stuff that I didn't even know was stimming, like focusing on a specific spot out of the corner of my eye, picking my nails, picking my skin etc. I don't have a super bad sensitivity to most smells but car air fresheners give me an awful headache. The sun is a big sensory issue for me, even when it is overcast outside I have a hard time being present and having a conversation without wearing sunglasses to block the sun. Ive noticed if i dont allow myself to stim i carry even more tension in my body, my shoulders and jaw are always clenched. I hate hate hate eating stuff like beans by themselves or anything like super mushy, and tomatoes. I only have like three actual friends, all of whom also have adhd/bipolar disorder/on the spectrum.
Ive never thought I was on the spectrum until recently when I started graduate school. Looking back though in high school and at my childhood there are many other signs I can think of. As a kid I think the signs may have been less obvious because I was doing gymnastics and got a lot of energy out and had my parents helping me manage my needs. But I was never good at sports involving moving objects, I dont have the motor skills for that. Gymnastics/tumbling got more difficult for me once I got to certain level (trying to do full twists/flips on the beam) because I dont think I have a good sense of where my body is in space. Im an incredibly slow walker, and people still to this day sometimes have to guide me out of people's way when Im out and about because i have a hard time paying attention to where other people are. I was always super into science, school, and following the rules. My parents tried to get me to watch this one movie where a guy gets killed by a bear when I was little and I said why would you let me watch this, this isnt for kids? I started outsmarting my older siblings who are 12+ years older than me at a very young age.
I dont remember a lot of my interactions as a very young child, I think I was less unmasked and unaware then. As I went to high school and started learning and being made more aware of whats "normal," being around other kids all day long and in the general high school environment made me sweat profusely. I didn't have many friends at all, people only talked to me beside my one best friend when they needed help with something. College was better because I got more breaks in my class schedule and felt less like an outsider at a clickly high school.
Now in graduate school I have to teach undergraduates and it is very stressful for me. I think I have an auditory processing disorder and I get easily overwhelmed by there being so many people expecting me to be able to help them at once. Sometimes I will not know the answer to a question a student asks, and then I think of it immediately once Im by myself again. I just want to work in a lab I like, make my own schedule, and see the same people everyday, then I will know what to expect and wont feel like my environment is constantly so chaotic.
I also can pick up on other people's feelings very well when its someone i care about and I feel what they are feeling to the point of which it is painful to me and make me need to shutdown/not say much until I can get away and ball my eyes out on my own time. I also sometimes dont know how I feel about something until much later after Ive had time to calm down and process it.
I currently cannot go to sleep very well and turn my brain off without smoking a small amount of marijuana. Then once I do go to sleep its like im dead, im an extremely deep sleeper and dont even get me started on how difficult it is for me to get out of bed in the morning. I also feel like I need way more sleep than most people, especially after having a lot of extra things to do that aren't normally a part of my schedule. Ive slept for 14 hours straight before on a Friday after a long week. But im not depressed, I have hard days for sure, but my overall out look and functioning does not match up with someone who just has depression.
If you read all this and think I could have ASD too plz let me know, thx.
I also do not like making eye contact at all and have a hard time listening if I do. I in general have a hard time listening to auditory information, but if I read something I will remember it and understand it no problem
I think the sensory overwhelm is why I can't remember or think until I am alone.
Music when I'm not ready kills
I really hate traveling. I need a reason to travel somewhere. I like to see other places sometimes because of the history of this place or beautiful nature.
No, I need it warm at home. But Im a woman too. Could be a reason.
It´s very nice that you two create the videos together. I think you are a good couple 😁
Thanks for your nice words! And I don't think I'd travel very much (or nearly as far) if it wasn't for Debby, so I am pretty lucky. Also makes a difference where you are probably - I didn't travel much growing up because I was in a pretty remote area and would have been a lot of hassle to travel. But we'll try to bring some of the travel to you in our videos in the future 😊 we also have some ideas for ways we'd like to make travel easier for the autistic community
@@ChrisandDebby the airport is not to far away but I still have to reach it by car, which I don´t have. I love my home. I don´t care staying here the whole year. It´s also a tourist destination. Rüdesheim, not so far away from me, is very famous.
In high school, I used to say hi to my friends when they came up about 10 feet behind me. They were all creeped out that I identified them by smell.
For sleeping, I’ve got a comforter from Rest Duvet. It has terrific temperature-regulating properties. I didn’t believe it would do anything and thought for sure I’d be returning it. Nope. It’s wonderful!
Thanks for sharing this! We actually just ordered a Rest Duvet set based on your recommendation and after reading lots of other reviews like yours - can't wait to see how this helps with Chris's sleep too.
And wow, your sense of smell sounds so impressive - a real super-sense! I feel like that could come in handy for a lot of situations
I bought that same comforter. It's so luxurious, in that beautiful cream color. It feels great on skin, so I push the top sheet down to feel the comforter on my back and shoulders. It doesn't help with the heat I feel when waking up, unfortunately. @ChrisandDebby
I used to be a bank teller, which I loved, but I HATED that my hands smelled like coins at the end of the day, no matter how many times I washed my hands. My husband would say they didn’t smell like anything, but they definitely did!
If you are ever able to do another video like this, please mention that some autistic people run cold not hot. I am always freezing cold, I can touch things right out of the oven, my husband bought me eating food strait out of the hot frying pan. I almost always have burns on my hands and arms that I don't even remember getting. For every hyper-sensitive autistic person, there is a hypo-sensitive one. I am hyper sensitive to sound though. Also, I feel the slightest hunger pain so I eat all the time. Also, I find eating is a kind of fidgeting that stops me from feeling other things like uncomfortable clothes. I want to crunch food all the time for the sensory experience. I force myself to not constantly eat, but it is so hard. Now that I understand stimming and allow myself to do it, I find sometimes I can rock and hum to get my mind of wanting to eat. Other than not mentioning those possibilities in autistic people, it was a good video.
36. recently diagnosed as ASD level 1. Chris and I share a lot of the same experiences. I never knew my "outbursts" were actually having a meltdown. Now that I know, I have taken steps to understanding what individual things lead up to me having that meltdown. One of the biggest things I have identified is that I overextend myself in social situations because I want to "fit in." Forcing myself to interact and put on a show (otherwise known as masking) always made me exhausted and tired, but I never knew WHY. I never realized that my overly self-conscious analytical brain was actually me not being able to follow what was going on in a conversation or group setting while everything else in the background was amplified and crazy. Cheers to understanding!
25 years with my undiagnosed partner has given me lots of time to observe him. He records and watches tv shows over and over. He can’t handle commercials, and by recording them, he can skip over them. He has watched episodes of Big Bang Theory so many times, he can mouth the script along with the actors. Self-medicating. To quote him, a particular substance helps “quiet my brain”.
About meltdowns; not only are they exhausting for the person having them, they’re also exhausting for the person witnessing them. Most of the time, I can be patient and understanding, but if I’m not feeling well, or I’ve had a difficult day, I have to extricate myself from the situation. Since he doesn’t have an official diagnosis, he has no way of learning techniques to help him, and as he ages and is 11:11 developing physical health issues, his meltdowns are becoming more frequent and public.
I have a dear friend of the opposite sex that I'm convinced is on the spectrum. She is a very young 67 years old and talks about her many symptoms often. I wonder if I should share what I've learned with her.
Before my mom died, I’m not sure if she believed me when I told her I couldn’t smell the presumed bad odor of teenage me and cats making messes in my bedroom before I moved away from home. She was convinced I’d become nose-blind and simply was accustomed to the odor.
No.
Body odor is a concept to me. So is the scent they put into natural gas to make it easy to smell a gas leak. Deodorant? That’s something I use on faith.
My sense of smell is at least 99% useless. If you count on my sense of smell to determine if food or whatever is safe, you’ve earned your death. I’ve never smelled food I eat in my life that I can be sure of. There’s the medical model of disability, and then there’s the social model. For sense of smell? It’s truly medical for me, I’d have to say: it’s a safety issue, even!
And yet, sometimes I can detect certain things, like smoke or vape or some colognes or perfumes, but those often get me with an asthma attack first, but I think in all those cases, I’m likely tasting particles in the air with my tongue.
Not once can I remember smelling something I wanted to smell.
you are just like the main character from thr movie the nice guys
Yes! Very helpful! I think my daughter is in the spectrum and other members of my family! But she doesn't want to talk about it cause she thinks that she's only an introvert. Well I will be patient ...thank you ❤
Good video! I can relate to most all of it except for any food textures .. that has never bothered me. I love 💕 love your pink hoodie top. Where can I buy one?
Thanks for watching! And here's a link for the hoodie - I have it in a few colors and love it! amzn.to/3O8mwWq
@@ChrisandDebby Oh wow, thanks for the link!! 😁
These are very much like the post-TBI symptoms too.
If someone has had a TBI it’s normally quite obvious.
Can you elaborate on this & if you know the differences?
@@DanniBby The list under the timestamps is also a list that TBI’ers experience. All of them match a pattern of symptoms for TBI, which in many cases can recover, different post TBI, but can regain functionality. Flat affect can be added too.
For me when I wake up in the night, the breaths of my husband and daughter sleeping make me hard to impossible to fall asleep again, same with ticking clocks, I also hear buzz of a lamp and ticking watch on a wrist so I don’t wear it. I also had to leave my auntie’s car because of smells there and her fragrance perfume. It was absolutely awful to me, hard to breathe
I've used earplugs to sleep for 45 years.
@@shevawnbasye7404 yes, I use them during the day at home because I used to have panic attacks caused by the noise my little daughter makes. But I’m the night I sleep on my left side so it hurts my left ear if I have anything in it. So unfortunately it’s not a solution for me. The only solution is sleeping alone on the sofa but then my husband get sad that I’m sleeping alone.
On the runnin hot part and needin the temp under 20c, i feel this one even harder than all the rest i feel hard heh
My room is the only room in the house with a closed heater and the rest of the house is kept at 18-20c; bcuz we all are rather heat sensitive in this house... But im the one who has the heater closed and window fan left in even in winter so i can keep my room as cold as possible.
Like my ideal is i can see my breath, bcuz then i can comfy wear my footed pjs and also feel far better than i do when its even just 10-15c and im naked
Im actually rly happy its 0 **F** outside around here (like -18c), as ive been the comfiest in my room feelin so cold i need my pjs on sometimes
Wow, those temperatures are just like me! I would also keep the windows open in the winter if I were in a place like that - and I also prefer to layer up in cold temperatures than to be at all warm. Being too hot just makes me cranky
@@ChrisandDebby Felt sm on that part, it didnt even warm up much, just a bit above freezin today, but i woke up and felt sweaty and uncomfy for it just cuz my body warmed up overnight even tho my rooms still prty cold
6:28 oh god I HATE the dentist--the sound and feeling of the drill or cleaning tools is just horrible i cant stand it i wish they would knock me out for a tooth cleaning because its literal torture, i cry the entire time every time and relive the feeling over and over for YEARS.
So much easily digestible resonance. Thank you.
Thank you Debbie!
Thanks for watching and for your message!!
I don’t want a wedding or reception because I don’t want to be around strangers on my “happiest day”.
Thanks, all very helpful 🙂👍💕🇨🇦
Thank you for watching - and more are on the way! Glad you're finding this helpful
All of these are so relatable. I ate peanut butter sandwiches for six months on grade school and would gag on broccoli (the stem is awful). I don’t mind changing of plans as much only because I don’t expect anything to go right ever l, which is probably bad but it’s better than having an emotional reaction when it does go wrong, but I hate interruptions. I tend to need a lot of visual stimulation though and am calmed down by flashing lights (ADHD must be doing that I guess).
It is very good to listen to a NT thinking person describe our whole life. Understand, I believe you do! You MUST be good for him! Understanding is not something we typically get… I’ll have to look and see if you guys have a vid on how to find a Dr or therapist who has a clue! Thanks for the video.
Yes to smells, absolutely, to the point of vomiting and migraines sometimes.
Seams and tags can be painful. I thought it was simply fibromyalgia.
I only have a texture problem with slimy foods, like raw oysters or prime rib. I hate any kind of pickled foods.
Lights can definitely mess with me. Can’t stand fluorescent lights.
Loud sounds, sudden sounds, too many different sounds all at once.
Constantly feeling fight or flight, panic attacks (meltdowns).
I used to be a good sleeper as a child. As I got past 40, sleep has been an issue.
I set alarms to remind me to eat.
I am ALWAYS cold.
The constant body tension and exhaustion!!!
Huh...I was diagnosed with being on the Autism spectrum at 55. I knew some of these traits but not all. Several times I have punched a wall when someone sprayed cologne or cleaner in the house. I have been told I am nuts. I have to eat Reeces peanut butter cups every night before bed or I can't sleep. I like the textures of the hard chocolate and soft peanut butter. Of course I love the taste too. I hate clothes not 100% cotton. I cut the tags out of my clothes.
effing polyester
@@vickiamundsen2933I know! And all the clothes on Amazon are coming from China who has been making a lot of clothes with weird shiny polyester material. Ugh.
Sensory issues can also be undersensitivity. My husband mostly exhibits as undersensitive to pain or discomfort, which causes him to get hurt more severely and not get medical help when he should. He craves more strong flavors than other people. He desires physical touch and doesn't mind things that would normally cause discomfort, sometimes to the point of getting rashes from irritants on the skin that he doesn't notice.
I run cold. Incredibly cold. All the time. Not anemia, not other health issues. I get upset at any amount of coolness or even wind from the fan. Hate it. My home is at 80-82* F at all times, and I use a heat blanket all the time when I sleep. I also wear pants and a hoodie until it's over 95* outside.
That’s awesome! I’m the complete opposite. I’ll take cold and chilly any day!! 🥶
Extremely helpful. Thank-you!!
Oh my god, I do the food thing. Sometimes I will get fixated on one particular food and it's the only thing that will satisfy me... It even gets to the point that I might even skip a meal if I can't have the food I'm fixated on for at least one meal. It'll go on until I get tired of it or something happens to break the cycle.
My son seems totally unaware of his body temperature or other factors about himself.
What makes you say he seems unaware? Like he wears heavy coats when it’s hot? Or never gets cold? I’d love to know more! Also what else does he seem to be unaware of about himself? Sorry for probing, you just said enough to get me interested, but not enough for me to understand. 😄😄
@@ChrisandDebby haha, yes, he wears too much in summer and not enough in winter... Your latest video covers the subject more, as he can't express how he feels, particularly when he's ill. He will say he feels sick just the moment before he vomits as a crude example. Does this make sense? I find it hard to explain things sometimes, and that's why I go for the short answer... Thank you for your channel. It is most helpful!
Subscribed 👍🏼🙂
What about sounds??! I hate the sound of people chewing!!! I cant stand it.
Oh yeah, misophonia's a real issue too.
LOL!!! The thing about smell. 🤣🤣🤣
Oh the scenes I’ve made because of smells! 🙈🙉🙊
And I’m being checked out for autism now.
How do you distinguish this hyper reactivity to sensory stimuli from high sensitivity.
Quite many things matched. Except I have issues dealing with cold, I can’t withstand hunger at all and I’d rather have variety in the stuff I eat or drink than go with the same stuff over and over again. But I realized from my stepdaughter things that I used to have in childhood when the symptoms were much stronger and everything felt and tasted wrong. Also I pretty much know what’s happening in my system but I have only recently understood that those things are not normal.
Also different people have different cases of autism. My partner didn’t realize I’m having a shutdown and tried to force me have the conversation at the moment many years ago. They need to resolve things immediately and I need breaks to function. It’s a path of constant learning.
I am hyposensitive to smell and sound. I will seek for the smell of coins, clinics, and the smell from electrical shop (that's really addictive for me). And then I need music to regulate and calm myself down.
I am hypersensitive to the feeling of hunger and I feel I will die if I do not eat immediately.
McDonald’s stopped making hot mustard sauce for a while, and that really triggered my mom and me bad. We still talk about it. There was also a recall on Excedrine at the same time. That was a rough year. 😬
I hear you! I’m still mad about the french toast.
Love the content--but have to do audio-only, due to the moving text effects, plus whatever's going on with the camera changing every few seconds. Would you consider making the visuals more neuro-divergent-friendly?
Thanks for the nice words! And yes - this was one of our earliest videos so we’re adjusting based on feedback (including having no background music and adjusting the flashing transitions). Hope you’ll check out some of our newer content and let us know what you think!
@@ChrisandDebby Oh, okay. I didn't realize this was an early one. Thanks for the response--and the responsiveness! You guys rock.
I always buy the exact same groceries for over 4 months and have to get that specific brand and flavor. I get scared so easily even when I see someone walking towards me. I do hear every sound around me like the sound of the refrigerator or fan when it is quiet. Yes the ac will be so loud and will keep me up.
this is me as well
Thanks, Debby. I have a nose like a dog. I once was rejected for a job as a perfume tester because my nose was too sensitive. I can smell people in passing cars.. As I sit here typing I can smell soap that isn't mine; soon, someone will walk past the front door. And so on.
I once lived near a fragrance factory. Curious about their payscale, I went in 1 day. A few of their chemistry lab staff heard me say my nose was sensitive. They asked me if I would be willing to sniff & identify some fragrances. I obliged & did well answering what layers were in the samples. (Woodsy, fruity, flowery.. ) They offered a job. I refused, knowing that the odors would be too much for me & result in headaches & frustration. It was bad enough living a few blocks away. I hate patchouli & some other woodsy fragrances. Sometimes, even a short exposure to a fragrance can cause a bad headache, or an irritated & not easily shaken bad mood. Also, hate it if a server has cologne on that I smell after I leave a restaurant, even if I am only getting coffee to go. My sister knows I won't hug or kiss her if her patchouli residue she put on 3 days ago is irritating me. I hate it if I shower & am by a smoker & can later smell it in my hair & then cannot wait to shower it off. Ugh- so infuriating!
Patchouli is evil and man does it linger.
i lack an organic understanding of people. that alone should tip off most people that i'm autistic, no matter how hard i try to hide it and "be" normal. also, please remember that hypoglycemia can trigger or help trigger meltdowns. the last time i had a crying screaming meltdown in public, it was because of a long string of irritations + hypoglycemia: EXTREMELY LOUD PERSISTENT COMPETING NOISE + nasty facility smells and filth and sticky floor feeling and sound sensations and general chaos at my dad's nursing home + our food order being over an hour late + because of the horrible noise, there being NOWHERE for us to sit and eat when lunch finally did arrive...and because food is more stimulus than i can cope with in the morning, lunch was really breakfast, and it arrived at 2 in the afternoon and i couldn't even settle down enough to be able to eat until 3 pm. and i was well over 50 yrs old at the time, and i can't remember ever having a meltdown like that in public as an adult because i mask so well. thankfully, my dad slept through the whole "storm," and when he woke up from his nap, i was calm enough so we could both eat. and i was thankful that my adhd friend who'd come with was driving that day (she almost had a meltdown at the noise, too, it was so bad) because i'm not sure i could have gotten myself home safely.
That meltdown sounds like it was so hard! You’re really lucky you had your friend with you - I also have had issues with hypoglycemia and that is really, really hard. I wonder how much is also connected with alexithymia? The whole situation sounds like it would have been so hard and I can’t imagine the sensory overload you went through 😥 I doubt I would have made it more than 5 minutes
@@ChrisandDebby lol!! i have to look up "alexithymia." i've seen the word go by on video thumbnails but haven't dug into it yet. i only just learned about monotropism (and of course saw my photo under the definition as an exemplar). XD the funny thing about that meltdown is that 99.9% of the time, of the two of us (my adhd friend and me), I'M the one with the working executive function. hers cuts out randomly, and she has almost made a mantra of "oh, i wasn't thinking." so--no dig at her intended!!!!!--i can't exactly trust her to help when i need it most because she just doesn't have the wiring. so even when i'm out of control myself, i still have to at least direct her or nothing happens that needs to happen. so thank goodness that, even at my worst, once i regain fluency, i can at least start directing her and asking for help (which, of course, she may not understand enough to provide, even when i am dead literal in my direction...and that, of course, demands every iota of my patience to manage civilly). she's been my best friend for decades, and i wouldn't trade a hair on her head for anything on earth, but we sure are an odd pair! all of that said, neurotypical brains are weird, nonlinear, and patently unreliable, so in my heart of hearts, i really don't think either of us neurodivergent peeps is badly off when it really comes down to brass tacks. :)
well, [expletive]--i haz alexithymia. read the article, took the online test, flunked (scored 131, well into the rule-in category). dammit. and i thought i was doing so well digging into understanding and identifying my emotions for my sanity's sake for all these years...going from bambi in bambi vs godzilla to godzilla in bambi vs godzilla...rushing in where even fools fear to tread...! [expletive, expletive, and more expletives] ...*sigh*...well, at least now i know...and i thank you mightily for cluing me in!
I always thought my husband had the issue because he couldn’t smell anything I could. 😂 😊
Thank you.
My bedroom is always roasting which I’m used to, I hate being cold. However to fall asleep I need the room to be cold-ish
He’s lucky to have you. I wish men would have been more understanding when in a relationship with me.
I’m sure the men would be lucky to have you too! It’s tricky and took time for me to understand too, but it also always seems to be a matter of finding the right person who you can truly be yourself with - for both people. I’m hoping some of what we are sharing can help more people be more understanding but also help other people, like some autistics, better understand what could be happening (that they didn’t even know was “different”) and put it into words as well. We both didn’t realize for so long how different our brains worked and that made it hard for us both sometimes. Hope you’re able to find someone who truly values you for you - you deserve it!
i swear i can see the flickering in those old-style tube fluorescent bulbs.
Oof, this checks a lot of boxes for me 😞
I'm still tickes at K rogers for getting rid of their blueberry vanilla icecream with lemon waffle cone bits.
Sounds like you have a very legitimate complaint!!
Is it really possible that neurotypical can make a adequate diagnosis for autism. I‘m shure its just a case of appearance; means: if we would have more autistic people on this planet they would make a diagnosis for the neurotypical. Of course this diagnosis would be much more precise. Until we reach this point we have to arrange with the „standard disabled“ .
Yes! Thank you
IHOP stuffed French toast, huh? Lol
My step-son woke me up last night with video games at 1:11am.... i had a complete and utter meltdown......several times a week it happens for one reason or another......i am so tired......i just want someone to take me seriously....
The smelly thing is reeeealy not funny! I can smell blood...pretty helpful just before someone's period starts. I can smell rain the day before it rains. Perfume is hell! Especially on the weekends, when everyone seems to be spraying perfume by the bottle. ...Wet animal fur, full baby diapers, fried or cooked mushrooms, certain spices... there's a long list
Yes, I don't perform well in society, I can barely hold a jobs. ugh. Education? I couldn't even finish high school.
Where are the doctors or therapists?
sorry, but self diagnosis of autistic adults is actually what led them to finally get diagnosed if they fell through the cracks as kids/teens.
you need to be organized as hell so they won't dismiss you right away.
most of us know for quite some time that we're autistic but waiting lists etc. are extremely long and it can take up years to finally get diagnosed as an adult.
that's why it's not ok to dismiss self diagnosis. as if we don't know we're autistic...
it's a bit funny, since you "diagnosed" your partner first and even made a video about some autistic traits in adults. so it's a form of self diagnosis and yet, act dismissive.
nobody questions a self diagnosis of a cold or depression, because without, you won't consult a doctor, would you!?
but somehow, we're made a target cause we figure out what's going on with us actually and we need to justify everything and are expected to reveal every little bit of information regarding why we came to this conclusion.
What about communicating? Is it sometimes only one sided?
That’s a good question, but can you give a bit more context? Do you mean about asking for things from the other person? Or starting a conversation but the other person isn’t participating? Spoken vs written communication? I’ll check back and try to respond after knowing a bit more of what you mean 😊
Well good grief, that's me! Most people just refer to me as an oddball. May have to speak to my GP
how is 20 °c low temperature
Isn’t that like 90 degrees Fahrenheit? 😂
Yes, totally valid - and certainly not a low temperature to a lot of people. And you’re right - that’s definitely not “low” by many standards (about 68F for Americans)! We are currently living in Taiwan, so tropical climate (summer is around 34-36C every day and humid 🥵 ) and the normal temperature they keep buildings at is generally 25C or 26C but feels hotter. So the flip side is anything below 22C is chilly to them. Even our colleagues originally from the U.S. will say 20C is cold after being in Taiwan for a while! But you’re right that what’s a “low” temperature or chilly is all relative to what you’re used to
Definitely feels like it sometimes 🤣 but it’s about 68F
I dont like bad smells or too much noise , but i think lots of people are like that they dont have to be Autistic. My partner is Autistic . I just want to know how it is for them.
18-20 degrees is "pretty chilly"? what? That is very warm. Better is 17 or 16 degrees
I agree with your temperature preferences! Around 10-12 degrees is my ultimate happy spot 😊
Are you editing yourself?
Car washes are terrible!
I mean if anyone cares to actually look at the autism spectrum virtually everyone fits on it to some degree.
That sounds like dealing with a child.
What is the opposite of sensitivity? I’m so unaware of textures, tastes, smells, clutter, anything that normal people reacting to anything is strange to me 😂
hyposensitivity
I love this channel and the videos you guys create but I feel the expression "having autism" is not really what being autistic is all about. Autism isn't something you "have" as you can't "give it away" but rather the way you ARE. 🙃
Wait, doesn’t everyone keep their home between 18 and 20 degrees? 👀
❤😊
I have autism the worse smells I think is out there, the smell of bugs like auts and beatle
Just a tad bit insensitive, my eyes really felt, when you stated that fluorescent lights can be an issue for some and then you proceeded to add in an edit of a Fluorescent. Light. 🤦🏾♀️😒😑😵😵💫😮💨
This comment is serious and not meant to be a joke in any way.
I enjoy the videos on this channel here... don't love the use of "with autism" instead of autistic people since it sounds like there is something wrong with us.. that we have or are a problem (something I've experienced within a professional environment).. also prefer has autistic traits to "on the spectrum" since the spectrum is... a spectrum of traits that scale in intensity for an individual. Don't think I'm telling you guys anything you don't already know.. but it causes my ears to 'perk up' every time I hear them in your videos.
I completely agree. Should be identity first language. The kind of language used here is not neuro-affirming.
Thank you for using the term" non- autistic" instead of "allistic". The word "allistic" bothers me because well it was ostensibly coined as slightly less clunky way of saying non- autistic I have only ever seen it used as a slur against people that aren't autistic or especially against neurotypicals. I am 90% sure that allistic WAS conceived as a slur and the explanation it's proponents put forward is a lie.
Hey thanks for sharing this. I’m not aware of the history of the word allistic to be honest with you, and I’ve never seen it used as a slur, but after reading your comment I’m going to investigate. I have to admit (don’t be mad) that I’ve used the term allistic before - fairly recently. I sure as heck am not trying to bash neurotypicals though. There’s too many I like! 😂😂
Thanks for being here and sharing!
"Freeze" Fight, flight or freeze. More like, "my brain is still trying to process (think electrical static storm) all the options possible in that "simple" choice you just gave me."
There is no such thing as a “non autistic” or autistic, there’s simply people who are or who are not on the ASD spectrum. The language you use is othering, ableist and invalidating. Try better next time.
First issue is thinking AuDHD is like someone with ASD and someone with ADHD and squished into one person.
It would basically be like me as a man describing menstrual cramps and how it feel to give birth and claiming I'm an expert on being a woman and women just need to put on their big boy pants and stop whining. I'm all for more AuDHD content, but don't confuse it with the world of someone having ASD or ADHD.
Your comment makes absolutely zero sense to me. I would like to understand better. Can you explain this in more detail?