Conflating our past with our children's present

"As young girls we view our parents through rose colored glasses. Mothers tend to view their daughters through dark colored glasses" - Bethany Webster.
There is also something here for us around our parenting. This has a few layers when something difficult happens.
- Slow down and pause
- Separate my inner fears and memories from my childhood from what is actually happening in current time
- Address my inner experience
- Then deal with the situation in front of me
- Allows for working things out in our relationship
All of this is embedded within the stories we have about children and who they are. Our cultural stories about children can undermine the kinds of relationships we're trying to build.
When our kids tell us that we don't understand, that what we're doing is unfair, or that they hate us, these are moments that we might want to pause and check in about where we are reacting to our old experiences and where we are responding to the situation right in front of us.
Jill Doneen Clifton
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www.LandscapeOfMothers.com