【SERIOUS TALK】Luca talks about his relationship with his brother
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2024
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【RECORDER CONCERT】PLAYING RANDOM SONGS WITH RECORDER 【NIJISANJI EN | Luca Kaneshiro】
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Liver: Luca Kaneshiro (ルカ・カネシロ)
Channel: / @lucakaneshiro
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![Luca talks about affection between siblings [NIJISANJI EN | Luca Kaneshiro]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PibqEM5TZ50/mqdefault.jpg)
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![Luca's middle child problems [NIJISANJI EN | Luca Kaneshiro]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Vkgw2dK4JC4/mqdefault.jpg)
honestly lucas so mature i cant
its so annoying when people call him innocent or naive like- being so cheerful takes strength
honestly i agree 100%
I will point out that innocent/naive doesn't necessarily contradict maturity and cheer. Luca is pretty innocent/clueless about lighthearted, banal topics (such as him having believed, say, hash browns were made of fish) but that does no way mean that he is emotionally immature or responsible.
Same with Mysta- he fools around a lot and is clueless on a lot of topics, but when it comes to the things that matter, he cracks down and handles it in ways that impress me more and more each time.
Indeed, being dense is NOT the same as being stupid.
Agree with unbirthdays, innocent and naive doesn't mean immature. I sure have seen and known people whom I would consider as innocent because of how they act in many things but the way they handle their things are more mature and responsible than some people that aren't naive/innocent.
Edit : grammars and typo, still suck though
@@364-unbirthdays8 true, i agree with you
i was more so addressing the people who baby him or just act like they don't know he's a grown individual.
i would say mysta is very mature though- i might be biased
Someone in chat said that:
“See this is why boss is my oshi, it’s these talks. Such a beautiful mind and heart on this lad”
I honestly couldn’t agree more. Sometimes he trolls so much to the point we forget he is actually very mature and knows what he’s doing. His willingness to forgive is admirable and the advice he gives to chat from time to time is super helpful. It’s definitely something you wouldn’t expect from normal content creators but he does it simply because it’s in his nature. That’s our wonderful, sunshine, golden retriever mafia boss for you!
People often forget these vtubers are real life adults, not anime characters or the "content creators" persona that they think they are
now that luca has mentioned this in a non-membership stream, i feel more comfortable expressing just how tilted i get seeing comments that are... not necessarily hate, but are just ignorant.. the fact that he's been through so much yet he still shows so much kindness and positivity is really a testament to his character. most people lash out and become jaded when they're hurt which is often perfectly valid, but it is really inspiring to see how strong luca is to move beyond that
same, i get so tilted when people think luca is naive and hasn't been through hardship. just because he doesn't show it doesn't mean he hasn't been through it
@@jas8288 also its partially a character he's playing
@@Despotic_Waffle he doesn't play a character. That's just how he is.
@@Despotic_Waffle just a tiny bit. I feel like this is how his personality is really like
Lad has a good heart. He understands to an extent, it's a sibling relationship but there is a line and to need to stop people when they cross it. Respect to him and his forgiveness and understanding
god, when he started talking about how he would flinch any time anyone raised a hand at him, i felt my heart drop cuz it reminded me of myself when i was younger. unfortunately, my older sibling wasn't as... unintentional? i guess? with their treatment towards me as it seems luca's bro was to him and it kind of fucked me up while i was growing up. i just really admire luca cuz of this and wish i had even an ounce of his positivity or capacity for forgiveness, and I'm glad he seems to have everything sorted out. my heart goes out to anyone who's grown up with others putting their hands on them in any way.
I am so sorry to hear that you also experience the same thing :'(((( Sending all my virtual hugs, warmth, and love your way and I hope you sort these things out and feel better soon ❤️
@@hannahbanana5144 thank you sm for the kind words ♥️
Mine wasnt really physical(but we did get into a bunch of fights, i even threw a chair at him lol). For me it was more verbal or behavioral. There were times where i genuinely thought he didnt have any respect for me at all. He would judge and call me out for everything i did no matter how miniscule the problem was. He would degrade me, say i belong in the streets and that im a failure. Everytime he stepped into the room i felt like i could vomit. Due to some family problems when i was in junior high, i became especially vulnerable to what people say and from then on i got an anxiety attack every few months until lately. Now we dont interact often after he left the house for college, we dont even say hello if ever we even meet each other on rare occasions. If there is someone toxic in your life, its ok to cut all ties with them.
Knowing there are so many people out there that i can relate to really calms me. Luca is really brave for sharing something so personal to a large audience. I really look up to that.
Thx for sharing and I don’t think one can ever erase such trauma…. I also got into physical fights where it did fuck me up but similar to Luka I have moved past it. Like u have to work on it urself and in ur own pace and I still can’t forgive the events cus there was no excuse that would have worked. I have accepted that it happened and that it will stay with me for the rest of my life so what I want to say is go with ur own pace. It should define your life and it’s ok if u can’t get over it or move away. Just set ur boundaries and stay healthy :)
Glad he's talked about this to non members. He's honestly so wholesome and I'm glad he exists right now as himself
Ah, so he finally told the non-member lucubs. When I heard this story during a membership stream, I honestly teared up. I’m so happy he’s doing so much better now
can i know which membership stream? cuz i think i missed it :
@@Melfarrrr Phony Raw Vocals
@@hetastic_bro oh i see. i didnt finished that stream. thank u. i'll watch it again if i have time :
@@Melfarrrr yeah, there's a person in the comments that has all the timestamps for the stream
@@hetastic_bro yeah i watched it earlier. I wanna hug him so bad. Our boss is really strong. 😭
Luca is a kind soft soul. Even after it got to a point where he unconsciously reacted, he doesn’t hold ill feelings. He knows that nobody can do that though. He is mature lion.
I feel like everyone in nijisanji has a strong sense of themselves, and this is a great example. You are your own mind if you let it tear you down then you won't be able to move on.
this! you put what i was feeling into words perfectly!
man, i really love this community, it's amazing how niji creators attract similarly good-natured viewers 💮
Awww Luca, he's so kind mafia boss. He knows how to forgive people who wrongs him 😭
With the fact that he's still positive after what he went through shows soo much about his character. He's very strong
I’m just glad he’s okay now, but this story is still heartbreaking to me
i kinda relate to luca about not holding grudges, for me it's hard not to hate someone (or heavily dislike). even if they'd do something to me, not terribly bad but enough to annoy the hell outta someone, it wouldn't really bother me. plus people who try to make a rasict asian joke towards me just for a reaction, i'd usually just laugh at them, cause they're stupid.
*hard to hate
@@raccoonchild oh yeah thank you XD
What a sweet person Luca is. I don’t think people understand how much it takes to be in that mindset. Me personally resent my older siblings for the longest time though when I grew older i just decide to not care and associate myself with them anymore. We have different mothers so i guess that was the start of everything. I’ve always been a shy kid, that has bigger physical build and often got bullied at school alone. But then even whenever my brothers are home they would punch me, stack on top of each other on me, calling me names such as the Hulk and humpty dumpty because again, I’ve always being well not necessarily fat but definitely on the bigger side and i do have a hunched back. All the low self esteem and shyness that i felt made me hunch because i was so self conscious about my body and people’s perception towards it. They would hold me by my ankle and spin me around in circle. At that time I thought all of it was just a playful fight that all siblings gone through so I’m just play along with it. After i turn 18 years old I realized that the relationship i have with my all of my brothers are not normal and they just straight up bullied me. Now I’m 25 years old, never once did they offer to help me with my studies, college fees or basically anything. But like i said, at this point of age i really don’t care anymore about them. I stopped trying so desperate to be a good youngest sister for them when they’re not even trying once to be a good older siblings to me. I hope other people who went through the same case of family members being the toxic one, i hope u guys found ur peace and i agree with what luca said about stand up for yourself. If we won’t stand up for ourselves then who else will? I pray that everyone who went through similar things healed from all the trauma and pain. Sending u guys love and hugs 💕
This is very important. And it is also very true that the harm is not always physical. I don't feel any kinship or familiarity to a couple of my older brothers and a younger sister. Not only did they destroy me mentally, but they felt it was their duty to humiliate me for being depressed and useless. After my father was killed I became a hikkikomori. I didn't work or study, and I understand I was a burden to my family, but my eldest brother and younger sister took it upon them to constantly remind me that if it wasn't for our mother loving me, they would kick me off to the streets to die. And how I was undeserving of everything I had for giving up to sadness and depression. They said things to my face I would never say to my worst enemy. It took me years to get back up and get my life together. Today they act normal, while I don't even talk to them unless they speak to me. I decided to move on but I would lie if I said I don't carry any resentment in me.
I love hearing personal stories like this. Idk. It's nice to hear part of his life experience and wisdom. I love seeing him open up. I like seeing anyone open up, be vulnerable, and share their stories. I love listening. It's relatable and it's the human experience.
I also have that sort of relationship with my only older brother.
Luca is without exaggeration the strongest person I've ever met. Our boss is so cool🥺
I kinda relate to Luca. Just gonna share this, don't mind if I do.
Honestly, when I was younger, I was the type to cry when I’m mad and one of my older brothers will always make fun of me knowing I have a personality like that. Even my other siblings do tease me. It got to the point that I started hating myself, but I can never say anything to them cause they were my siblings. So when I reached high school, I acted tough and brave, so I won’t be picked on, and it was going well. Until my sister started to tease me about something and I honestly just didn’t want to respond cause I knew it’ll be my loss. But that day, I just really snapped at her cause I’ve been always hiding it in me. I told her how I’ve always felt about how she treated my weakness that way. After that, we didn't talk for days, and then we were ok again.
I’m not even expecting any sort of apology cause that thing wasn't apparent in my family and maybe that's why I tend to hide my thoughts and feelings. It’s like what happened didn’t happen. We just went to our normal ways but I was feeling less suffocated after I told her that. And I admire Luca for not holding grudges. I can never do that cause for me the only reason I was able to be myself is to remember these scars and learn from them. But Luca’s right, do stand for yourself cause in the end, it’ll only fester inside you the longer you keep it. Doesn’t matter if they're your blood, sometimes blood is even worse than strangers.
I've been told the "You share the same blood" quote so many times but it doesn't work for me I've been pushed so many times by my sister that now I just don't want anything to do with her anymore
When I was younger I was the abusive older sibling that Luca talks about here, i would always hit my brother whenever he did the smallest thing that “annoyed” me but he never even did anything that deserved me hitting him it got really bad to the point we had to be separated and not really be in the same room, to this day I don’t know why I ever thought it was okay to hit him but I do know at some point I realized what I was doing was wrong and I immediately started to try to mend my relationship with him. I know that it will never be as if I wasn’t the devil to him but nowadays we talk a lot more we hardly fight and when we do we just talk it out rather than fight. He seems to have forgiven me but I’ll still always feel terrible for what I did, I was young and full of angry but that’s no excuse.
I understand, almost, my younger brother is very hyperactive and short-tempered, and just emotional because he is such a child and this is normal... but it's funny that at the beginning of his birth, I was a loving older sister... but because of the difference in upbringing and character (I am very slow, lazy, calm and not social), he often tried to get me into a fight, I started and stopped fighting and quarreling with him (almost, but it's better than before) because I was tired and stopped trying to ignore him. But because of his short temper (which almost all family members seem to have, although if you compare, I'm the calmest) he can get angry for no reason, throw things at me or my parents (more often at me), once a saucepan flew into my head hehe... anyway, now, thank God, the relationship is better and he has friends (although not the best company to be honest)
Damn he really explained this in an eloquent way. Good shit Luca, keep it up.
The way I just started crying... I wish I had a friend like Luca. ;_;
aaaa I cried while watching this😭 I'm glad boss is doing good
Man I'm crying, I can heavily relate to Luca as middle child and having trouble to your older, I don't wanna trauma dump but as Luca once you stand up for yourself they will stop but you'll never get the sorry it feels really heavy but for someone outhere who's struggling, I swear you'll get better and start a boundaries away from them
I went through something pretty similar to luca with my older brother. Me and my brother are 5 years apart so there was always a big power imbalance to us so I couldn't ever defend my self i knew id just get blocked off or hurt regardless. I do relate to luca on where he would put his arms up to protect himself(?), because I did/do this a lot, like luca said it's sort of a reflex. I'm not very affected by it aside from other problems (mental issues/health that I sadly can't get therapy for). I'm really proud of him for mentioning this though, that probably took a little balls! ♡
I would never think that someone as cheerful and bright like him had this kind of experience. Lucaaa 😭😭
I hate how so many viewers are sl ignorant of the hardships that are went through. They call him "innocent" and "naive" even through he's gone through lots of things. They should be aware that you can hide things about yourself and express yourself in a different way than you are deep down. Doesn't mean that because he has gone through a lot that he has to show it. He can still have fun. I'm just glad that he shared this through
Sadly relatable i spent 18 years having nightmares about my brothers abuse when we were younger. He’s been a drug addict and an alcoholic for most of his life but we aren’t on good terms he’s 28 now and hasn’t made the choice to get his life together I hope he can change himself for the better, but until then I don’t want anything to do with him.
Being positive is difficult in this cruel world. I hope you stay the way you are. You are such a strong person with warm heart. And you deserve all the love💛
After hearing him I can't help but increase my respect to him 1000000 times more; He is a strong person and I'm glad he's doing well now. He made it pretty clear that it's all in the past, he stood up for himself and didn't hold a grudge which I admire him for it because I'm the opposite lol
I also liked the way he worded it, it was pretty chill while still giving us the advice to stand up for ourselves (which I also recommend btw). I can't put all my thoughts into words, but I respect and appreciate Luca a lot
Luca really embodies the word beautiful and mature. it’s must’ve been really tough having to go thru that but i’m happy he’s passed that. he’s in a better place and much happier. what a wonderful person
I remember Luca talking about this in a membership stream as well. I definitely relate a lot to Luca in that aspect with siblings. I hope you don't mind me sharing- When I was younger I was pretty much bullied by my brother. purposely annoying me to get a reaction out of me, yelling at me and all sorts of other things. It was like our every interaction I had with him was dreadful. But although I would get angry, even to the point I cried, I never held too much of a grudge over the years. It was just something you moved on from, almost like it never even happened. That's when I learned to just take it and not respond. I really admire Luca for having such strong mindset. his willingness to to forgive is truly admirable. After hearing Luca's words and looking at all the stories in the comments here, I feel comfortable knowing that I'm not the only one who had something similar and how there is a line that never should be crossed but you can be strong. I remember on one of his public streams as well, Luca had expressed how it was weird to hear his brothers said "I love you" and to be honest, I wanted to cry because I related to that so much. After some time of my brother and I not talking-He was very kind to me all of the sudden. At first I was uncomfortable because I had no idea what to think. Him saying "Love you" to me was shocking to hear. But like Luca said, people do change and I really do take those words to heart. Thank you for the wonderful talk, Luca. So much respect and love for you!
people need to understand that "blood is thicker than water" isn't the complete sentence and it has actually the opposite meaning, the complete sentence is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"
source : apparently the bible, also trust me bro.
I can relate to Luca in this sense. My big brother used to be my protector when I was 11 in England. But after when we moved to Canada, he changed. I dunno what happened to him, I had a feeling somewhat due to some past trauma he might have, but he started being verbally abusive towards me for a long while. It was to the point that I had enough and stood up for myself, shouted back at him for his ways and for the shit he put me through. After that event, we didn't speak for a little bit and he apologized to me. Being the guarded and quiet child I was, I just told him I had enough and that we should not speak to each other anymore. And we hadn't talked since then, always just avoided each other. We talked again though, like 10 years after that happened. He's changed again, but for the better. So, I finally just let my anger go and moved on. Hell, we even watched Squid Game together.
That's my experience. I suspect people bully because there is always something going on with their life that was beyond their control and power. But that doesn't give them the right to be bullies and is an immature way to handle their emotions, but it's really hard to show your vulnerable side to someone. But yeah like Luca said, stand up for yourself if this goes on, because it will keep on going until you somehow manage to resolve it. Physical or verbal, doesn't matter. They just need to get the hint that enough is enough. By adulthood, they will most likely regret what they have done, which most adults do from what I can see. So yeah.
god moments like this reminds me of why i love him so much. his heart is so full of love, joy and tenderness. i’ve never seen so much love and positivity packed into one person even though he’s been through his share of bad stuff. it makes me respect him all the more. boss we love you so much
he doesnt deserve to have that kind of reaction when someone raises a hand at him : ( if anything he deserves to feel all the love that comes in physical forms like high fives and hugs
I strive to think like luca but sometimes the pain is too much to ignore
Man..........He's so inspirational..... like this personality this kind of carefree (idk if this is the correct word) but man........and btw 3:49 LOOOOOOOK AT THIS ADORABLE FACE!!!!
As an older brother who picks on his younger brother alot back then. Sometimes I feel guilty thinking his meek attitude and absolutely inconsiderate behaviour today is my fault. From being put down so much and apologising for things for the sake of it and never learning from his mistakes or behaviour. Of course I have no clue if thats the case as he does stand up for himself now and is more confident, I have been trying to improve the relationship but his current attitude which can only be summarised as Patrick but just the enraging moments where he is inconsiderate has made both me and the family so tired of him we even named our whatsapp group after him due to how negligent and needy he can be. (which makes me question whether i need to grow up or he does. Also case in point about picking on him)
Luca is a real one 🙌
Pains me to hear he had to endure such thing, no one should ever feel unsafe in their own family and home 😔
It's odd but that's another hardship he shares with a certain aquatic ninisani member: she also was on the receiving end of violence by her brother when she had to care for him, thankfully it no longer happens now that they found the right medication, but it's still a terribly awful experience for anyone living this. It takes courage to still get back up and love & trust people, kudos to all the folks who made it through!
I love that luca said he doesn’t know why he never hit back, because I’m the same way. And I know it’s because I don’t have the sort of anger in me to hit back. I feel like it really says a lot about him that he doesn’t have that sort of anger either.
I'm 30 years old and I will tell all the younglings here, always, fucking always stand-up to yourself in school, in home in every place. When I was younger I got bullied 1 year in my life, when we got in holidays I told to myself, this shit won't continue, first day back in school I threw the first punch in my life and after that I beat the guy with a chair, I got a suspension but it was the best day in my life, after that no one in school messed with me, no one! They knew that I was business, you fuck with me? I will fuck with you even harder, do never let anyone abuse you, get everything in your way and fuck with them.
EDIT: People always tells that violence leads to nothing, but try smashing a chair our table at your bully and no one will ever bully you again.
Yeah like, siblings bantering is normal, but sometimes they would cross boundaries with or without them knowing. A teasing from their pov could've made the other felt threatened or fear.
It is not always the older sibling be the one bully, younger siblings are sometimes the bullies, at least that was what happen in my case.
I am the oldest of three, got a younger sister and a little brother, my brother is over 10 years younger than me sonI have no problem with him, in fact I cared him so much if anyone hurt him I will fight. But my sis is just a year smaller than me, and since we were little, I have kept being bullied by her. I could never forgot how she threw my beloved dolls intentionally out of the window (we lived on 14/F), and how she always use those hard plastic toys hit me on the head then fake innocent in front of the adults when I cried. What worse is because I am the older one, the adults always told me to tolerate her, and that I should not blame her since she was smaller than me. If I ever tried to fight back, I am definitely the one who got scolded and punished. One time she hit me with toys again and my head got a massive bump, I told my mother about that and all she said to me is I have to tolerate.
The worst thing ever happen is on my bunny. I once got a rabbit as birthday gift, I loved him so much and I would take care of him everyday. However, my sis got a magic stick that can extend into a long stick and she always use that thing to hit the cage of the rabbit when I am away (that stick is made of metal). I tried to stop her so many times, but even I told me mother she did not believe my words and she never behave my sis. Eventually one day morning, I was on my daily morning routine to check up my bunny, that was when I noticed tragedy happened. My rabbit never wake up again (he was just 2 years old so it was far not an old age). I could never forgot about this till now.
We both are all grow up and in our 20s now, I sill don’t know how I feel about her. Even now, sometimes we still argue with each other. It is no doubt that I love her as my family, but at the same time I have complex feeling about her. I have always have very low self-esteem and social phobia because I am afraid to have contact with people. Sometimes I will think that if there is any adult that are willing to stand up for me when I was little, maybe I can be a better me now.
I am also the oldest among my cousins so it is kinda hard for me to relate to being abused by older siblings as I don’t have any among the whole family tree.
I have always tried to be nice to every single family members that are younger than me, and I think I have been doing well so far as I always got surrounded by my cousins whenever I visited them and they will tell me that they miss me, and their parents also approved me as they know I love them.
4:13 cause he's a survivor and not a victim . And he learned what he had to learn from that experience too.
As a older child I always get annoyed with my brother but I will not say I never hit because that would be a big lie But I noticed he would take after me and pick on people smaller then him and when I saw that it made me realize what I had made him out to be hurt me and if I could go back I wish I could stop my self but I was jealous my parents put so much pressure on me saying how I have to go to college and have to have straight A’s or that I won’t get a good job and he didn’t have to work hard and my mom would help him so I took my anger out on him by yelling and said horrible things and I remember he said something to when I was doing my homework he said “sister do you really hate me” and I started crying I know what to I went to and hugged him so much I told him I didn’t and I just didn’t understand why i had to do my homework by myself and he could wait for my mom after that I never raised my voice at him and would talk to him about why I was mad now he is playing nice using his manners and doing really good in school. Even tho I might still get a little jealous I just go write in a book then throw the paper out .
So the lesson I learned and some people know that no matter how jealous you may be don’t hurt someone else and just try another way or talk it ou.
I'm ashamed of myself for doing the same to the middle brother.... built up too much that I had an emotional burst out of the blue.
i super relate to him abt having a bully older brother, but the difference is i still hold a grudge against him. i definitely have the trauma because of multiple physical abuse. up to this day, it still irks me the fact that he has a girlfriend now to protect and to take care of but he can't even protect me as his younger sister and the worst thing is, he's the one hurting me.
Kinda reminds me of my little brother and I but it wasn’t anything as serious. We both used to argue and at times yell at each other often, but when I was 16 I realized I was the problem, starting these useless arguments that didn’t make my mood any better and it’s not like I hate him either so….. I just stopped lol.
We’re not the closest of brothers, if anything we stay out of each other’s business most days but we do help each other when we ask. So, as far as I know, we’re cool.
It hurts to learn that Luca went through that in silence for years.
I'm really blessed to have older sisters who were always caring towards me.
Also, "blood is thicker than water" is only an abridged statement; the origins lie in "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". Just because someone is kin doesn't mean that the hurt they cause you is any less than if it were to come from non-family.
i was the youngest and my middle sister and i had a similar power dynamic. nothing physical, but every time she gave any sort of criticism i would take it badly. if she insulted me i took it to heart, i worried about every single one of my actions around her to make sure that she didn’t think of me as a disappointment. i never stood up for myself whenever it happened, never set any boundaries, and to this day it’s still Iike this. she’s away for college, and i’ve become a hell of a ton more accepting towards my mistakes now that she’s gone.
I really understand where he's coming from but not because of the sibling. I'm an older sister and have just one brother, we had our share of fights in which, some ending in minor injuries, sometimes I'd hope didn't have any siblings but I'm actually glad I do. One thing I also noticed reading the other comments is that I would probably have been bullied if I was the younger sibling... But the part where I related was the first thing he said, about being wary of any hands approaching me or something like that, my mother would hit us quite a lot... She had issues controlling her nerves and would make a big deal out of every single thing. Due to that I'd was quite good at dodging oncoming hits and make up entire schemes for me to get away with doing something I knew I would be hit for. When I had my first boyfriend and he'd come to hug me from behind or touch my hair without warning I'd automatically flinch and try to dodge his approach. Nowadays it doesn't happen that much but damn when I noticed the impact this had on me it was frustrating.
i had a family friend who used to bully me and hit me all the time, and my mom said to hit her back and defend myself! so the next time she did i hit her back and she cried and were still good friends today & she never hit me again !! lmao
Omg..i dont want to trauma dump in here but i actually thought this was a universal experience. Im the youngest of three kids. The only girl, too. They are three and six years older and a lot stronger than me. I guess as we grew older it kinda stopped, but i still have this reflex of protecting myself even though i never could. My parents always saw it as play fighting and never stopped them. "If youve experienced that, go to therapy." When luca said that i didnt know what to make of it. I mean, I've never been to therapy before. Probably explains alot actually
I always think when kids does that thing (especially if they're siblings), it is to stablish dominance to one another. I had the same experience with Luca as I don't have good relationship with my brother before like we would always fight every time and he would always beat me physically and of course I'll hit back but I'm not as strong as him so I tried different approach where I would mentally and logically beat him instead, and it worked. Fortunately, we kinda got over who's the dominant one.
this really hits home for me. my famliy and i grew up really poor, (still are but we are trying our best) due to this, we had very stong bonds, well most of us. one of my younger siblings would always make things about them and throw a tantrum when she didnt get their way. it would mostly be my mom getting nagged out by them about wanting to go here and there to get this and that when we couldnt afford it, mostly petty stuff. one thing they would do often is tick me and my other siblings off on purpose ( they admitted that it was funny to see us annoyed and frustrated) so, for the longest time we thought that ignoring them would be the best bet just so they cant get a reaction out of us. this continued for years (it was usually verbal but the times that it was physical was when they were following stupid internet trends like that old neck slap thing from like 2017 or jabbing us in the sides really hard) me and my siblings were getting really sick of it. one time they specifically ticked me off continuously for like 2 weeks straight, i was already tired of it within the first few days but the longer they persissted the more angry i got. eventually i had enough and it ended in a physical fight. since then its been better, but it definitely hasnt stopped to this day. the fight was a few years ago now and they are still the most annoying little shit in my life atm, definitely not my best story but thats siblings for ya lol ( we are on good terms but these terms could be a lot better with a little more kindness from their end lol)
Message from a bully victim:
Strike back
I'm also a middle child, but with two sisters. And middle child syndrome in my case is on extreme level, because my whole family is just fucked up and toxic. I just rather have no interaction with them than being treated like a black sheep or a mistake, or being proven wrong all the time, or being blamed for everything and misunderstood, and basically being forgoten and put aside all the time, because there is no time or need for making me a part of a family. I feel happy for Luca to be able to have normal(maybe not perfect or even great) relationship with his older brother, because mine relationships are just awful. I feel like I will never be able to change it, I think that my whole family would have to be fixed from the core to let it happen. This is why I just stopped trying to be a part of that group, because these are just toxic, narcistic, immature, racist and homophobic people and I don't want to call myself a part of that family anymore. I don't want to adapt their pathological behaviors to be included as a member of a pack. I just hope that after I move out and start to live on my own I will be able to find people that will replace that family.
Well I believe that’s what Luca did he left but had to move back and things happened to change but most won’t be that lucky
My elder sibling was a tad toxic when I was younger. Used to bully me relentlessly since I was pretty tiny and skinny.
Now that we are older, they realised their mistakes and actually respect me. I get where they were coming from (bullying is common in my area), so I’m glad that they were trying to toughen me up in their own way. I legit hated them for years but I forgive them alr.
I never stopped looking up to them.
Thank you Luca! Standing up for yourself is a difficult thing to learn especially for those who had been “a good person” their whole life. We were told to be nice to people and were never properly taught how to protect ourselves when people hurt us. But it’s ok. We can teach ourselves.
I’m the oldest I used to hit my siblings too, I’m not proud of it or anything it was mostly pressure from my mom to be the mom when she wasn’t there and watch my siblings and be the adult,, I stopped and I don’t hit them anymore in fact I only ever really hit the second oldest, she flinches when I raise my arm around her still which is not cool and we joke about it but ik it’s not fun for her, it’s starting to go away which is good, throughout those times I also developed pretty bad anger issues which never went away only now instead of taking it out on other i take it out on myself which isn’t good either but better I think, self harm isn’t the answer i know that much it’s a solution for now for better relationships, even though my sister and I will never be perfect anymore we’re happy with how we are i think even if we still argue.
I... I can relate to that way too much, but the only part is that fighting back didn't quite stop it. It just made him angrier. I just had to cut him out of my life.
i honestly couldnt believe there were people who had good realtionships w their sibling, i also have the same experience with luca but not only that my brother was just mean in general and really hurt my feelings alot of times... we dont talk alot now only like 10 words to eachother everyday
When your the younger you neither you get picked on or doted by your parents, if your the oldest you get relieved on and you are trusted with responsibility.......but what happens when your the middle child. In my experience i feel like i was the do ever for them to get a girl.....i know i shouldn't but sometimes i just think about it...
If only sibling abuse wasn't so brushed off by everyone. "Sibling rivalry" needs to stop being used as an excuse to ignore things that are clearly worse than just some friendly competition between siblings.
I hit my sister constantly when I was younger, not sure how much of it was my fault, and how much of it was because my parents were creating a hostile and uncaring environment where I, being autistic, felt extremely misunderstood and was scolded at for not acting like a "normal" child. All I know is that I eventually stopped. The fact that it stopped the same year I got my diagnosis to me signals that I hit her only out of frustration at my home situation.
Then my sister started bullying me in my teenage years, by doing what my parents stopped doing when they learned that I'm autistic. She would scold me for showing my autistic traits (read: being myself) in my own home, and use my mom's tendencies to play victim to my autism as an excuse to be on my back about my autistic traits. My parents had to talk with her at least a dozen times over a time span of 8 years, and she never learned to accept me for who I am. And because of her, neither will I, either.
Luca is so bright. Omg this baby 😢
I can kind of relate because my younger sister is very self-centered and physically lashes out against things and my mom. Our personalities are so different and I can’t really understand why she has these issues, and I just feel bad for my mom.
I was never really close with her because we were born almost a decade apart; I just accepted that I was going to be living with her but still can’t see her as a sibling per say.
To all those that aren’t the closest with their siblings, please know that that’s okay and if you are being abused, stand up for yourself as Luca said and get yourself out of the situation as soon as possible.
The full quote is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
People shorten it to twist it's meaning.
My older brother and I neber get along, we barely talked, and we were never physical with each other (unless it was needed in extreme cases.)we still don't have a relationship to this day. I took out all my anger on his friends in an attempt to try and keep him to myself because he kept avoiding me. It got to a point that I beat up a few of his friends and an ex-girlfriend. I managed to ruin his life without even touching him. He resented me...
Now years later, I've started to accept the fact that we'll never have a relationship and started learning to be by myself again. My brother is now happily engaged to the love of his life and has found family in his closest friends. My brother and I will never be close and I'm fine with that now. Now I'm starting to transition into a man and suddenly he wants to do so much with me. I have to push him away just like he did me back then. He's my big brother but sometimes you just have to go different paths.
I somehow understand, I'm the youngest, and this older sister of mine often gaslights me, saying she's the eldest and I wouldn't understand her ever, she often do this to me I actually grew up with her gaslighting me, and it continued until last year, I got so tired with how she raises every suggestions I give to become an argument and it always end up of me being the youngest and would never understand 🤦🏽♀️, so in return I resorted to not talking with her anymore, and she became angrier saying I didn't respect her as her sister even though she's the eldest and I don't care anymore, I just let her be since she only listens to herself, let her be by herself, I know what I did was not right, but I got to keep my self in check so I wouldn't lose my self whenever she makes me feel unworthy, and that's about that, I'm not mad at her or anything, I just realized that I don't wanna argue with her anymore cause it's tiring, so I'm just letting her be, anyways, if anything happens, she can always come home to us, we are family, but there'll be boundaries and will not be the same as we were once when we're kids. So yeah, listen to boss when he says, learn to stand up for yourself, because it will continue until you stand your ground.
god that hit closer to home, this is why luca is my oshi hes so kindhearted 😢
So fucking relatable with my older sister!! She took out her anger on me when i was little... But you know what, i am grateful for that cus i won't be the strong person i am now if that didn't happened but still 'till this day i can't feel anything in the deep core of myself...... All i wanna say is to you luca... We are with you don't think you are alone 💛💛and you can trust us to hug you 🫂💛💛 AND I AM SO FUCKING PROUD YOU !!!! ☺️💛
I wanna hug him so bad
I can relate to this. I have a younger sister and we both have been trained in martial arts. I never hit her. We may verbally fight, but in the end it's always her who hits me, playfully or not. It's gotten to the point where I do the same thing. If someone in my family raises their hand even remotely towards me I flinch or go to block what I think might be a hit. (Note: My family is not in any way abvs1v3 but it's just a mixture of my sister hitting me and my training in martial arts and competition training)
Unlike Luca im the youngest of 3 (one brother one sister), but i never had the chance to grow up and have the kind of sibling relationship. Right now im 15 and both brother and sister are in their 30's now. I never knew them as the immature or annoying Siblings, only as the two grown ups.
My relationships with both are kinda awkward sometimes. My sister i tend to not know what to talk about and it gets really awkward and distant. My brother im more chill with because we share interests but he still is a fucking sarcastic asshole (it runs in the family).
But what Luca says is true. They may not outright say it but they are definetly going to help you out if you need it (most of them). As soon as my brother learned i had trouble in math he learned me all the basics of what i was struggling with, while my sister would anyday let me come over to her house if my parents were being annoying.
This is a heavy topic.. but i am so glad they now have a good relationship now.
Awww luca...big boy.. 🥹
Luca 😭
True, I'm an older sibling and I can't really put my finger on it but I can't actually outwardly show my little sibling I love them, but yeah I pretty much have their back (when we're not fighting anyway)
Feels like this clip goes to show how forgiving and genuinely kind he is. To be able to constantly be smiling so brightly despite what he’s gone through, that takes genuine skill and effort 🫶 wishing to have his mindset fr :33
Luca 💛😭
I can kind of relate to Luca’s experience. I also had a reflex whenever my sister raises her hands because she’s basically helped raised me since young and often playfully slaps me. While it was an affectionate gesture on her part, sometimes it hurts me. I held a very close relationship with her, closer than any other siblings in fact. My situation is different but i guess unintentional actions can be hurtful to someone. I agree that you do need to stand up for yourself. While my sister now rarely playfully slaps me, we are still as close as ever.
I know how it feels. I'm an older sibling with one younger sister. I'm not very affectionate towards her but I do by sharing food and things with her. however, we do share things in common when we talk about video games or kpop. my dad always told me to be nice and take care of her. my sister and I can be chaotic and wild when we get excited and happy like siblings. That shows how we're both get along and care for each other.
aww luca
As a younger sister my brother does this and it’s also a reflex to flinch idk what to do
Depends on where you live (culturally it changes a lot between countries), how your parents do their parenting, and if you can live on your own at your age and financial situation.
If domestical violence is big no no in your country's culture, I guess you can reach out other people about it. Even if it doesn't result in solutions right away, it helps being able to let it out of your chest.
If domestical violence is rather common where you live, there's always your closest friends: some of them might be experiencing a similar situation, so then you might share the emotional burden and find protective solutions together. Don't unload everything at once, but step by step, mention how it goes and see their reactions. You might not be alone.
If your parents aren't really fond of physical punishment either, you could mention that to one of them (the most likely to listen to you), then the other one on another occasion. I think one-on-one discussion would be more fruitful: if both parents are presents at once, they will have a harder time empathizing emotionally, as they will also have their SO watching them, in such case they often stick to their "parent of family" role and fail to understand the deeper meaning of this. Even if the physical hits aren't leaving bruises, not feeling safe in your own family and your own home is not normal at all: it shouldn't be left that way.
Then it's blocking out contact with the abusive sibling: locking yourself in your bedroom (if possible), staying at your friends place or school more often, refusing to join the family group if the abuser is there (exception for dinner I guess, but not staying around). Ghosting the abuser as well: minimum contact. The abuser might then find another outlet for their violence elsewhere, letting you breath a little more as you adapt to your new life without them.
If you're an adult and able to live on your own, then it's the same process but applying that minimal contact with more ease, as you can decide where you live and do your every day life.
...
Thing is, hitting back might work in _some_ cases, but sometime it just won't work: it could simply result in years of mutual physical violence, until the older abuser grow out of it, or leave the house.
Btw the age of the abuser matters little, you won't make them change:
- if they're still a teenager, they often have no idea why they're doing this (possible growth hormones and maturity issues) so not much chances they would listen and change their behavior before they're an adult and settle down ;
- if they're an adult already and still do this, their development is broken and they have violences issues that will stick to them for decades, even if they somehow realize it, so as you're not their therapist, don't try to fix them: save yourself first.Depends on where you live (culturally it changes a lot between countries), how your parents do their parenting, and if you can live on your own at your age and financial situation.
If domestical violence is big no no in your country's culture, I guess you can reach out other people about it. Even if it doesn't result in solutions right away, it helps being able to let it out of your chest.
If domestical violence is rather common where you live, there's always your closest friends: some of them might be experiencing a similar situation, so then you might share the emotional burden and find protective solutions together. Don't unload everything at once, but step by step, mention how it goes and see their reactions. You might not be alone.
If your parents aren't really fond of physical punishment either, you could mention that to one of them (the one most likely to listen to you), then the other one on another occasion soon after. I think two one-on-one discussions in a short period of time would be more fruitful: if both parents are presents at once, they will have a harder time empathizing emotionally, as they will also have their SO watching them, in such case they often stick to their "parent of family" role and fail to understand the deeper meaning of this. Even if the physical hits aren't leaving bruises, not feeling safe in your own family and your own home is not normal at all: it shouldn't be left that way.
Then it's blocking out contact with the abusive sibling: locking yourself in your bedroom (if possible), staying at your friends place or school more often, refusing to join the family group if the abuser is there (exception for dinner I guess, but not staying around). Ghosting the abuser as well: minimum contact. The abuser might then find another outlet for their violence elsewhere, letting you breath a little more as you adapt to your new life without them.
If you're an adult and able to live on your own, then it's the same process but applying that minimal contact with more ease, as you can decide where you live and do your every day life.
...
Thing is, hitting back might work in _some_ cases, but sometime it just won't work: it could simply result in years of mutual physical violence, until the older abuser grow out of it, or leave the house.
Btw the age of the abuser matters little, you won't make them change:
- if they're still a teenager, they often have no idea why they're doing this (possible growth hormones and maturity issues) so not much chances they would listen and change their behavior before they're an adult and settle down ;
- if they're an adult already and still do this, their development is broken and they have violences issues that will stick to them for decades, even if they somehow realize it, so as you're not their therapist, don't try to fix them: save yourself first.
PS: stay strong! there is a life after that - protect yourself until you're free.
I feel so bad for him hearing about that happening with his childhood. I’m the eldest and being relied on is the worst. I hate it. So being the middle child must be the worst too, and I have 8 younger siblings
People usually don't get how incredibly hard it is to forgive someone and let go just simply forgive them for what they have done to you. Horrible humans like me will put together schemes upon schemes to tear that person down just to have a sense of accomplishment or victory which is vain because you just end up with more negativity with time. Luca is mature and strong for being able to forgive someone and not hold a grudge while being positive and our literal sunshine. Luca pogg!
even worse when your parents see this and leave it be cause it easier to do that then stop them. ive been told daily by my sibling that i should kms, that she would kill me, that noone cares about me, that i should leave and just die. she has punched, kicked and bit me. shes thrown toys and blocks at my head, broken my shit. pushed me downstairs on multiple occasions. threaten me with a knife and cut me with one too but my parents just leave it cause its easy for them that way. i expected that since they honestly dont even care about me. its too long a list to type what shit they've done or haven't done but they told me to my face that im their punching bag for when they are stressed, angry, mad or just anything.
1:47 honestly rlly relatable- I don’t really have a good relationship with my older brother for the same reason :))
honestly i completely understand, i have a youger brother with a short temper, we have a good relationship but i do often flinch when someone raises a hand, it doesnt happen often but reflexes yknow
And I thought chat would say pog, nice community
for some reason I think he's repressing his feelings and I just want to hug him
or suppress is a better word
Nah... Hit back. He's not saying it. But I'm saying it. Bullies always attack and keep attacking because of the lack of negative consequences. Don't count on a person's remorse either. They don't have the perspective until they experience the same thing.
So yes, hit back. There's no equality until you demonstrate that if a fight really happens, neither of you are going to come out fine. Until that understanding is established. It will just keep going.
I wonder if it’s really okay to clip this…? Although he brought it up during livestream, it feels like an information that is way too personal to be clipped like this. I imagine that when he shares those kind of experiences, he’s considering that only lucubs would sit through god-knows-how-long vods to access this kind of information after livestream, so it doesn’t feel right that such personal information is being clipped. I don’t mean to be rude, I’m just considering how he would feel to see such a topic being clipped, hope it won’t make you feel bad because that’s not my intention. ):
oh he's just like me fr fr (literally) (my older brother was just crazy like that)
Oh nooo, who put onions here T-T
나는 외동이라 형제 관계에 대해서 잘모르지만 루카가 정말 정신적으로 강하다는걸 느낀다
I'm not gonna lie I'm the older brother that like this, but I've com to realize that I'm actually hurting my brother so I'm trying to stop my self. Also i have the same reflex if putting my arm up when someone high fives me even tho I've never been hit lol i think it might be from play fighting with my brother or something like that
My little sister (there’s only two of us) was friends with some little kid that was bullying me and some other people I knew so I warned her not to be friends with him. She didn’t listen and one day he started bullying her. She lost all her friends and was depressed but tried to hide it. I knew she was hiding it because I was too. My dad was and still is very homophobic and incredibly rude, making disgusting remarks about all sorts of things. The only thing I could do was promise her a safe place to talk about whatever she wanted to. I came out to her hoping she just wouldn’t tell my dad, but she ended up taking it very well and being supportive. But I also get the bully thing. I had a friend that had become like a brother to me, we spent hours every day together just talking about all sorts of stuff. One day he got into a fight with some kid over something stupid, and every day after that he got worse. One day he slapped my sister and I had to cut off all communication with him. I know it’s not that easy when you live with them, but it went very quickly from brother and sister mentality to “stay away from me and never show your face to anyone in my family again” mentality.
Luca is truly such an amazing person for being open about his past, even with all that I said there’s still a lot of that story I’ll probably never be comfortable sharing
Я люблю його так сильно
this makes me feel a lot better of the things my sister says and does
Bro my older brother used to beat the shit outta me; like there be bruises and shit. The only reason it stopped was cause he moved (it left an impact on me) but I honestly got what he meant; I love my brother but.. where not really brothers anymore lol
Also I love the way Luca spoke about this and I kinda thought I was the only one, but ay
Dang he got the golden retriever buff