It was uncomfortable to watch this video. I felt so called out. Literally thankyou so much. I've been feeling stuck since like 4yrs. Ty for making me realize what i was doing wrong.
Haha sorry if it was a bit uncomfortable watching this video (ik I got pretty passionate at some points haha), but I'm super glad to hear that you could relate to my own personal struggles, and maybe the tips will help save you from a few more years of feeling "stuck"!! And just remember, even if the past 4ish years (like you said) weren't the best, tomorrow is always a new day!:)
7:19 another analogy similar to this would be: if there was ice cream on top of a hill, and you wanted the ice cream, you would run up to get it, but if the path up is too hard/complicated, you may no longer want that ice cream. however, if a serial killer was behind you, and you had to run up the hill, you would persist to go up because all the hardship would get you away from "danger" and to something better: ice cream.
Yeah uncomfortabality brings a strong a motivation to move ahead. But should we have danger to change our position? I mean not everyone can be in that position; honestly I'm replying you to watch this video again bc it's helpful, but anyway, this sequence you said is very true but the situation is a bit complicated...
This makes complete sense. Which is why I want to get fired or hit rock bottom. I feel it would light fire under my ass to go hard and not give up, because I don’t have any other choice. It sounds crazy. I know I can do it, but it’s like I need something to push or force me to do it.
My parents are sick this year (2024), so I need to change my self and have stable job (I'm a freelancer). Like you said, sometimes bad things should happen first for someone to change.
Yep, fear and the “adrenaline rush” we get before deadlines/exams, or when running from bad situations (rock bottom, family problems, etc) can be a HUGE motivating/energy factor that helps us survive & get out of a hard time. Obviously it’s not ideal to always be pushed by outside negative forces, but in my experience, sometimes bad things happen that really shake us up / motivate us to change, and if you use that for good it can be really powerful! I think a healthy balance between focusing on what you’re running from and what you’re going to is the biggest key (not just looking at the destination, but also at the starting point)!😊🫶
She literally said all the opposite things like "not to plan thing earlier", "stop seeing your self in five years" Stuff like that and motivated so freaking good..... Thanxx
I read somewhere (probably watched a TikTok) that said psychologically when you’re planning the brain feels like it’s accomplished something already so you feel less pressure to work towards it or something like that
Impatience- this right here is my problem. When I begin to envision who I want to be and what I want to achieve, as soon as I set my goals, I become paralysed as a result of comparing how far I am from achieving it and how long it would take me to do that. Also like you pointed out it is always scary to think of the possibility of not achieving the goal after putting in all the effort and this makes me back out. My logic for this was that it was better to stop trying than to disappoint myself. I didn’t realise that by not trying at all I was disappointing myself. There are valuable insights I have gained from watching the first 8 minutes of this video and I intend to continue but I have to read so many when I take a break in the next hour, I will get right back to it.
9:56 wow, that hits. I always thought hyper planning was supposed to help but that was just an excuse and majority of the time I could not follow through my plans. Yes planning is great but only to an extent. As you said, we learn during the process not before we start. I just love this video, thank you for sharing
at the beginning i think you were describing task paralysis! as someone with adhd, a lot of this resonates and i would look into ADHD! “laziness” if often actually just something else in disguise like shame or anxiety. best advice is: just plan things for yourself without thinking about it and force urself to follow up :) look into adhd techniques and good luck with everything!!!!
I think i have adhd too as the symptoms are very similar. After Since i have literally gave up on everything. I feel paralyze. I have this habit of perfectionism as well. I research a lot and end up doing nothing. It's really frustrating when you cant even complete the simple task without thinking too much nowadays. But now I've decided to restart my life this new year I'm going to join meditation programme hoping it will help me for some extent.
@@ssbedits2924 i relate with the "research alot but end up doing nothing" perfectionism and paralasis are a strong rreoccurent in my life... it can be extremely fusturating to myself and others, trying ot figure out ways to deal with simplw tasks seems impossible sometimes. im getting into meditation aswell hopefully it helps us both!
You got me at the first minute 😂. I've been living "stuck" since I left grad school because I quickly realized that career wasn't for me and living in identity, loser crisis mode for 2 years 🫠. Everything you're saying is LITERALLY what I am still struggling with. Love this 💕💕 I'll definitely keep this in mind 🙏🏼
Reversing stuff is such good advice, "what would you do if you could succeed at anything" is basically useless, but "what would be worth doing trying even if you knew you wee going to fail" can be really clarifying.
A big part of overcoming this hurdle for me, as someone with inattentive type ADHD and c-ptsd, is learning that trauma = avoidance, the difference between self confidence (I believe I can do this) and self efficacy (I believe I can do a good job at this), and practicing how to separate my thoughts from feelings from reality. I've always been a very internalizing person, I'd intellectualize and pick apart my feelings instead of letting them move me to action, like I'd try to gaslight myself out of being sad instead of changing what upset me. It wasn't something I realized I did as often as I was until therapy. CBT did wonders, and it's not hard to find the whole multi-week workbook online
Honestly an eye-opener! I genuinely felt like I was just going to procrastinate throughout this video but I ended up listening intently. I feel like these are the things that a lot of people know but don't actually tell you straight to your face. I'm genuinely grateful to you cause this really made me appreciate things more and be less negative.
Aw I'm so glad you found the video helpful and appreciated my (blunt) honesty!!🥰 And thank you for watching through the whole video - speaking for myself, I know how hard it can be to watch a whole long-form TH-cam video sometimes haha.😅
It’s crazy how I watched the whole video in one sitting and felt so inspired to finally start making my way towards those small goals that I’ve been dragging for so so long. Thank you, Estella. 😊
My exams are going on. It was supposed to be in January but my school changed the dates. This is our "second" midterms. As a burnt out straight A+ student, I am failing to keep going. I just can't do it anymore. For the last couple of years I have seen Cs and also As. I just wanna thank you Estella for always keeping me going and motivating me. Thanks for being there as a virtual big sister.
I relate to this. Sometimes i feel like i’m gonna fail or i feel insecure because others get 100’s easily. Coming from a top student since well, kindergarten, i’m finding it hard to keep it up while trying to manage my stress, my parent’s expectations and other personal problems, but we can do this, even if it’s difficult, we can go through this. Good luck 🫶🏻
I needed to watch this. This validated me so much. I am overly ambitious but I’m lazy and I procrastinate and didn’t know why. I studied over 4+ years for a degree I learned I hated. Now I’m trying to do something different and I’ve been mad at myself for years going for a degree that makes a lot of money instead of personal joy. I’m trying to focus on being grateful for the things I have and self love. For the past 2 years I tried what they say “focus on your ideal self” mine was a millionaire and not surprisingly that didn’t happen. I just had a lot of anxiety attacks instead. But this year will be focus on enjoyment and what works well for me to complete my goals. Thanks!
I loved this. Thank you. I've been in paralysis mode for about 8 years now. It's horrifying to think about. I felt a sense of community watching your video, and it was genuinely helpful. Truly, thank you so much 🫂
You don't have any idea how impactful this video is to my current situation now. It's like God sent you to remind me keeping my progress and stop over-planning and do nothing 😭you're my life saviour 🥹❤🩹thank you to kick my ass to get away from this lazy era and comeback to be better and embrace the imperfection. ✨
this vid hit different--so often I consume productivity content to cope with how far I am from my goals, it's hard to knowingly distract yourself with movies or videos when you are painfully aware of your flaws, but watching productivity vids feels like I'm doing something. This video was very well done, convicting and extremely (almost painfully) relatable. I don't want to give up on my dream life but the ambition mindset is a HUGE HUGE HUGE problem for me. Thanks for the thoughtful vid!
this helped me so much, thank you. I've yet to watch a video as relatable as this, the description of your goals being "paralyzing" resonates with me so much and I'm so glad someone gets how I feel.
This video is truly inspiring! I don’t usually share recommendations, but I have to tell you about the book women’s magic truths on borlest. It offers unique perspectives on wealth and self-care that you won’t find elsewhere. Wishing everyone all the best
I feel like you've captured an issue so prominent in this generation and universally people all throughout history. So thank you for being a source most of us can deeply relate to and helping and prompting us to understand and reflect on our own struggles individually and collectively.
The lesson to look into myself and see where is the starting point, not running towards some unrealistic myself that I created inside my head, is actually mind blowing for me
Everything you said was a discovery I made after I started treating my anxiety and my brain changed. It's really interesting how planning too much inhibits us from taking action. I loved your video!
Aint no way this worked 😭 I literally got up out of my bed after lying here for the past 2 days! 🙈 Ty so much, sis, and i really like this form of content! ❤
2:55 you’ve just explained something that I’ve struggled with! That gap creating the unhappiness that breeds impatience and stops us being consistent! Thank you so much ❤
I completely agree with you as I had also gone through the same and had even discovered all the backlogs of my ambition just like you did. Thanks for posting.
I tell myself what I’m not changing I am choosing. If I don’t make the effort to change it I am actively choosing to be ok with it. You should pick your battles but don’t complain about the things that you aren’t willing to change.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO!! I always create huge goals and end up procrastinating because the goals are too overwhelming idk but still..and i woukd reach nowhwre and then i hate myself and the cycle just continued...YOU GAVE ME SOME LIGJT TODAY THANK YOU SO MUCH!! ILL MEET MYSELF WHERE I AM AND START WITH WHAT I HAVE AND BE BETTER THAN WHAT IAM!!!
1. Look at little things you don't like or haven't done and fix that. Baby steps. 2. Be picky with your goals, pick 1 or 2 and focus on that. 3. 80% action 20% research as you go on. You learn more during the process. 4. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR GOAL EVEN IF THERE IS A 1% CHANCE OF YOU SUCCEEDING AT IT. 1% is a bigger probability than 0. Be extremely dedicated. Be STUBBORN. 5. Be clear with your goals. How rich is rich for you? Have clarity. 6. Have goals that you wanna achieve solely for you, not to appease anyone else. Something you are emotionally attached to. What would you want to put your all into achieving if you were invisible and were to not get any appreciation or validation from anyone but yourself? 7. Setting realistic goals that are actually achievable and believe you can and will achieve it. 8. Breaking down goal to smaller levels till you believe you can actually achieve it. 9. Know and implement your first step and then, in accordance, make daily or weekly plans. 10. Know your limits. Think practically about your goal. 11. Be flexible with it. You're not cursed, you are just not doing what would work for YOU. Try different methods towards the same goal. Sometimes the wrong train takes you to the right destination. 12. Start taking action, this instant, just do it. Praise yourself every step of the way. Acknowledge the fact that you show up for yourself and are taking active steps towards your goals, it makes everything a little easier, makes you wanna do it and show up for yourself everyday.
Life changing,thank you for telling me what I could never figure out, something was missing but I couldn’t put to words why I was not doing what I knew I should be doing
wow, it's like the universe really sent me this video. I've always thought why i have been stuck despite constantly making vision boards and writing down my goals, i knew what i wanted, but I'm not taking any actions to do it 🙃 the video really helped clear a few things
this is one of the only self help videos I've seen in my life that actually helped me a LOT. AND I WATCHED A LOT OF THEM. I LOVE UR ENERGY TOO THANK YOU SO MUCH
This is literally what I've been thinking of recently. I make really long to-do lists too and end up getting nothing done in the day and also don't hold myself accountable because a part of me just knows that I'm probably not gonna get this much done anyways. I was much more productive when I didn't give myself a mental barrier or trick myself into thinking planning was productive. It really is best to just start doing it. Don't think about it. I play music in the background so that I stop thinking about the process and just let myself do it.
Perfect timing, I've been stuck in a loop, and I needed this... I don't even know what I'll do if I don't get into my dream University, and I've been feeling so pressurized and numb because of it, because of which I don't even start doing anything Your videos really help thank you so much
oh my god! I came across this video just when I needed it the most. I just got my results for my 3rd semester and I was so deeply disappointed with myself because of how low I scored. I had planned everything from the beginning, got all those fancy apps, bought every cute stationary I could find, promised all my friends and family that I would score the best. But each time I failed to understand a concept, solve a sum, answer a question or even had a remotely negative interaction with one of my professors, I would get so detached with the subjects that I was studying. Instead of working on learning more and overcoming those problems I chose to constantly imagine myself being smart and scoring well and avoid anything that made me face the fact that I am unprepared. This led me to not study when I should've and I completely messed up on my exams :,)
I’m so glad this video came to you when you needed it! I’m sorry to hear your 3rd semester results didn’t turn out like you’d hoped, but mistakes are always there to teach us how to grow!!😊 Of course it’s disappointing, but I can tell you have great self-awareness, and I know you can bounce back and do even better next semester.💪 Hopefully some of the tips in this video will help, as well as your own analysis of yourself/and what works for you!!🫶 You’ve got this!👏
girllll you saved my life i swear this video AND thea study!! ive been so 'stuck' since 2020 and for the first time i feel that i can actually accomplish my goals
You turned to the PAIN CAUSE, and it worked. So many people are buried in suffering because their pain senses are dulled, numbed, paralyzed. Just because one doesn't achieve their goals doesn't mean they shouldn't be happy. Several lots of unsuccessful people are very happy people who prioritize joy over ambition. This can be so dangerous.
Literally you stole my words.. it's been 4 years since I feel stuck and recently i am realising why other motivation videos don't work for me.. your video came on my feed and i never feel so understood by someone... Thank you dear ❤️
Gurl, this is the first video I’ve seen of yours, and damn, FINALLY, someone who understands what I’ve been going through for YEARS. Always believing I was just “a bad student, a procrastinator, and I always will be.” But this video gave me hope! ❤ truly, thank you!
Thank you so much for this I've been stuck for the last couple of years just barely hanging on not liking myself very much. Setting all the goals for the future I'm stressing that I can't get there. I'm glad to not feel so alone after seeing this video.
Hey I needed this so badly I was consistently struggling with my goals of getting fit and ministry posting and family and friends etc. this have helped I will start implementing these things today
Omg Thank you so much Estella this really helps! ❤❤❤ 😭😭😭😭I also feel stuck and miserable myself too... Thank you so much Estella ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤You're amazing! ❤❤❤❤❤
Girl u have no idea how helpful this video is. I thought I was a weirdo because conventional stuff isn't for me. Deadline makes me sluggish because I underestimate myself and planning is a curse for me. I'm more productive when I got little things on my plate. I'm so grateful to find this video. Thank you for reminding that "I'm me"
I’m so happy you found this video helpful!!😊🫶 Embrace the fact that “You’re you”, because there’s absolutely beauty in that! It’s just about finding what works for people like us.😌
tbh I feel so called out on this video, but It helps me a lot. I've been feeling stuck since I got graduated from high school (like 3 years). Thank you for making this, share your story with us and actually give valuable tips!
I reposted this video on X to promote you. "If you're a dreamer, and wanting your dreams to come true, watch this, some of the most powerful self programming lessons, I have ever witnessed. This woman is an absolute genius. Bravo!" You have a new fan, I have never seen better, and this is a subject I've put a lot of time into figuring out, but you are beyond genious, thank you for your work!
I could not thank you more for this message. Like others have reiterated, it could not have come at a better time. Thank you for this encouragement to help me go forward. Have a great week!
Honestly, I really appreciate you were being so simple. You were just being you and that is so relatable. In any other videos I saw, there’ll be like girls with perfect makeup/appearances talking about big things with big words, and tbh it was more depressing for me. Every time I look at those videos, I was like I can never be that girl. Everything I did was not perfect like those girls and I wanted to pursue perfection to be like those girls. And like you said, I was stuck in this phase for very long time. But since the start of last December, I’ve changed my mindset bit by bit and been seeing results. So I was really pleasantly surprised to see someone talking out loud my thoughts these past few days and succeeded doing all that, meaning I’m on the right path now. Thank you for keeping trying and sharing your experience with us. I’ll also keeping trying till I become who I always wanted to be.
I'm just about to make my own vision board for next year, and yeah just like what you had explain I almost tripped to unrealistic goals which would definitely stress me in the future. Thank you for sharing, this is the most honest motivational video I ever watched.
Thank you so much for this video! You spoke to many students around the world including myself, who constantly set goals for themselves, but do not even attempt to accomplish them. Please keep up with your amazing talents!
Thank you for making this videooooo. It's really nice to see someone who shares the same mindset that works for me too. I did all of these when I was younger and was very true to my actual "goals" and "wishes". I think throughout the years i sort of disconnected to this and started conforming to this "it-girl", dream-big, manifesting concept and narrowing myself to goals more because I would like the way it would make me look to others from their perspectives rather than them being my own interests. I realised this and am wanting to unlearn it, and this video really resonated with me. Felt like breath of fresh air, thank you so muchhh.
Honestly l have to recommend the book called: Hidden Discipline Methods! It’s packed with powerful techniques and reveals methods you won’t find in mainstream advice… if you’re looking for clarity, focus and personal growth in this chaotic world…
I've been called "too ambitious" all my life, and honestly I love that I have ambitious goals, and that I want to get all these things by 5 years time, but I've started to learn to prioritize my mental health, to prevent burn out, to control my anxiety and overthinking, and to celebrate my small wins like just setting up the website, posting that first video, or doing that workout! You can get all those ambitious goals without beating yourself up, being too unrealistic with your goals; instead start small and messy, just prioritize being consistent, and just do the damn task instead of researching and planning too much!
I have subscribed to this channel for years now. I need these videos on my feed, I never used any social media so my only source for getting knowledge has always been YT or just good old reading stuff. Now for some time, my YT feed has been totally effed up with so much nonsense that I hate using YT now, after installing the shorts block extension and all I thought that YT would be less distracting but for some reason, the recommendation algo is messed up like bro idaf that some random guy dropped a plate to see how many balloons popped, I need study, career, and people improving themselves, actual knowledge videos like 3B1B, veritasium. I need that YT.
Thank you so much for this. This topic really resonated with me. I'm a perfectionist so it lead to a lot of unnecessary suffering for me. I think it's really important to give compassion to ourselves. To remind ourselves that it's okay to not be perfect and to fail sometimes.
I always relate myself with you Estella, and honestly, I have been stumped with goals over the last 4 years, (even though I am very young), so thank you for this video!
I saw a comment on tiktok a few years ago that rewired my brain for the better. It was a video of someone learning a complicated skill and someone commented on that video saying like, this will take years to learn so why is the creator even bothering with it. The creator just replied "the time will pass anyway," and honestly? Yeah, it will. You can absolutely mourn that you didn't start something earlier, but the time really will pass no matter what. If you're not dead, it's not too late. Start today.
Ooh that’s a really great quote/response to that TikTok comment! I totally agree that it’s better to start now and just do your best to make a baby step a day, as the time will pass anyway, an each step accumulates over time and makes a huge difference!!😊
You have vocalized everything in my mind and my actions in a way that I could never. I truly resonated with this video more than all the self help books I've read in the last 4 years. I am grateful and am saving your video to replay and take these steps to change my life. I thought there was something wrong me. I think this helped heal a bit of myself
I love your video. Today I'm researching something to study my English and I found it, how I'm grateful for this video have appeared to me, what you say is totally right, some methods of mindset that I've already tried too, it's so bad for us, but the important that we continue to learn and principal learn things that really help us look like that, thank you to sharing good things 💕💕
Omg I used to watch you all the time during my undergrad during the pandemic IM SO HAPPY you’re back on my recommended! just as I’m about to start grad school 🥹♥️
Study smarter for FREE using this link: www.thea.study/register?referralCode=studytosuccess no hidden fees or paywalls!!:)
heey estella you have been the motivation for me to study since last 3 yrs but lately i have been feeling so procastinating could you please help?
plus could you also make more videos cuz your vids are best
Got me by the title 😂😭
I just want to say how amazed I am at how inclusive your video is. I love that you have subtitles.
I just signed up and it's amazing what it did when I put a few key terms in. I cant wait to use it next semester for Medical Billing and Coding
I IMMEDIATELY CLICKED BRO BUT THE THUMBNAIL DESCRIBED MY LIFE
Glad you can relate, and hopefully the video helps!!😉💪
Same
@@StudyToSuccess It helped so much! Thank you 😊 I love all your content 💕
Same😭
SAME 😭
It was uncomfortable to watch this video. I felt so called out. Literally thankyou so much. I've been feeling stuck since like 4yrs. Ty for making me realize what i was doing wrong.
I think all of us are called out😭
Haha sorry if it was a bit uncomfortable watching this video (ik I got pretty passionate at some points haha), but I'm super glad to hear that you could relate to my own personal struggles, and maybe the tips will help save you from a few more years of feeling "stuck"!! And just remember, even if the past 4ish years (like you said) weren't the best, tomorrow is always a new day!:)
Omgg same I feel stuck too since like 2020. Glad I’m not the only one loll
7:19 another analogy similar to this would be: if there was ice cream on top of a hill, and you wanted the ice cream, you would run up to get it, but if the path up is too hard/complicated, you may no longer want that ice cream. however, if a serial killer was behind you, and you had to run up the hill, you would persist to go up because all the hardship would get you away from "danger" and to something better: ice cream.
Yeah uncomfortabality brings a strong a motivation to move ahead. But should we have danger to change our position? I mean not everyone can be in that position; honestly I'm replying you to watch this video again bc it's helpful, but anyway, this sequence you said is very true but the situation is a bit complicated...
This makes complete sense. Which is why I want to get fired or hit rock bottom. I feel it would light fire under my ass to go hard and not give up, because I don’t have any other choice. It sounds crazy. I know I can do it, but it’s like I need something to push or force me to do it.
My parents are sick this year (2024), so I need to change my self and have stable job (I'm a freelancer). Like you said, sometimes bad things should happen first for someone to change.
Yep, fear and the “adrenaline rush” we get before deadlines/exams, or when running from bad situations (rock bottom, family problems, etc) can be a HUGE motivating/energy factor that helps us survive & get out of a hard time. Obviously it’s not ideal to always be pushed by outside negative forces, but in my experience, sometimes bad things happen that really shake us up / motivate us to change, and if you use that for good it can be really powerful! I think a healthy balance between focusing on what you’re running from and what you’re going to is the biggest key (not just looking at the destination, but also at the starting point)!😊🫶
00:10 girl chill, you just described my whole life for the past two years-
Same here like after covid i am kind of lost and lost 4 years...😢😢😢
She literally said all the opposite things like "not to plan thing earlier", "stop seeing your self in five years" Stuff like that and motivated so freaking good..... Thanxx
Yeah, the opposite stuff just works for me for some reason haha.😅 Glad the video motivated you!!🥰
*SAMEEE!!! I was shook. She said so many things that are very accurate and not really emphasized by other self-help TH-camrs.*
I read somewhere (probably watched a TikTok) that said psychologically when you’re planning the brain feels like it’s accomplished something already so you feel less pressure to work towards it or something like that
Impatience- this right here is my problem. When I begin to envision who I want to be and what I want to achieve, as soon as I set my goals, I become paralysed as a result of comparing how far I am from achieving it and how long it would take me to do that. Also like you pointed out it is always scary to think of the possibility of not achieving the goal after putting in all the effort and this makes me back out. My logic for this was that it was better to stop trying than to disappoint myself. I didn’t realise that by not trying at all I was disappointing myself.
There are valuable insights I have gained from watching the first 8 minutes of this video and I intend to continue but I have to read so many when I take a break in the next hour, I will get right back to it.
So happy you found this video valuable, and yep, impatience was always one of my biggest issues!!😅
9:56 wow, that hits. I always thought hyper planning was supposed to help but that was just an excuse and majority of the time I could not follow through my plans. Yes planning is great but only to an extent. As you said, we learn during the process not before we start. I just love this video, thank you for sharing
Glad you could relate to that part and it helped!!🥰
you are me, I am you.
Never in my life have I felt this called out or related to someone on this level.
Glad you can relate, and I hope the tips help you (and me, since I am you and you are me 😉)!!
at the beginning i think you were describing task paralysis! as someone with adhd, a lot of this resonates and i would look into ADHD! “laziness” if often actually just something else in disguise like shame or anxiety. best advice is: just plan things for yourself without thinking about it and force urself to follow up :) look into adhd techniques and good luck with everything!!!!
I wonder if I have ADHD too. I have anxiety and depression. My current therapist once told me to get checked for ADHD
I think i have adhd too as the symptoms are very similar. After Since i have literally gave up on everything. I feel paralyze. I have this habit of perfectionism as well. I research a lot and end up doing nothing. It's really frustrating when you cant even complete the simple task without thinking too much nowadays. But now I've decided to restart my life this new year I'm going to join meditation programme hoping it will help me for some extent.
@@ssbedits2924 follow the concept of just doing the work , and create concepts for yourself that can help you
@@ssbedits2924 i relate with the "research alot but end up doing nothing" perfectionism and paralasis are a strong rreoccurent in my life... it can be extremely fusturating to myself and others, trying ot figure out ways to deal with simplw tasks seems impossible sometimes. im getting into meditation aswell hopefully it helps us both!
You got me at the first minute 😂. I've been living "stuck" since I left grad school because I quickly realized that career wasn't for me and living in identity, loser crisis mode for 2 years 🫠. Everything you're saying is LITERALLY what I am still struggling with. Love this 💕💕
I'll definitely keep this in mind 🙏🏼
haha glad you like the first minute, and I hope the video helps!!
Reversing stuff is such good advice, "what would you do if you could succeed at anything" is basically useless, but "what would be worth doing trying even if you knew you wee going to fail" can be really clarifying.
A big part of overcoming this hurdle for me, as someone with inattentive type ADHD and c-ptsd, is learning that trauma = avoidance, the difference between self confidence (I believe I can do this) and self efficacy (I believe I can do a good job at this), and practicing how to separate my thoughts from feelings from reality. I've always been a very internalizing person, I'd intellectualize and pick apart my feelings instead of letting them move me to action, like I'd try to gaslight myself out of being sad instead of changing what upset me. It wasn't something I realized I did as often as I was until therapy.
CBT did wonders, and it's not hard to find the whole multi-week workbook online
wow! thanks for sharing, was helpful
What workbook did you use
That's wonderful! I'm really happy for you
@@caitlinsmith8974Just answering so I get a notification cause I wanna know too hahaha
I have ADHD too and started using chat GPT for as my CBT coach and it has been amazing
Honestly an eye-opener! I genuinely felt like I was just going to procrastinate throughout this video but I ended up listening intently. I feel like these are the things that a lot of people know but don't actually tell you straight to your face. I'm genuinely grateful to you cause this really made me appreciate things more and be less negative.
Aw I'm so glad you found the video helpful and appreciated my (blunt) honesty!!🥰 And thank you for watching through the whole video - speaking for myself, I know how hard it can be to watch a whole long-form TH-cam video sometimes haha.😅
It’s crazy how I watched the whole video in one sitting and felt so inspired to finally start making my way towards those small goals that I’ve been dragging for so so long. Thank you, Estella. 😊
Good luck with your goals!! Im on the same journey, we got this ❤
Happy to see you confident in front of the camera again 🎀🫶✨
Btw, I love ur voice gurrll 😭🤌
Thank you!!🥹🫶
Ur welcome 🤗🫶🏻🌷
The queen posted yall wake up!. You really helped me improve my grades and confidence! Love from India 🇮🇳
Me tooo❤
i related SO BADLY when you were talking about planning more than actually acting omg
My exams are going on. It was supposed to be in January but my school changed the dates. This is our "second" midterms. As a burnt out straight A+ student, I am failing to keep going. I just can't do it anymore. For the last couple of years I have seen Cs and also As. I just wanna thank you Estella for always keeping me going and motivating me. Thanks for being there as a virtual big sister.
I relate to this. Sometimes i feel like i’m gonna fail or i feel insecure because others get 100’s easily. Coming from a top student since well, kindergarten, i’m finding it hard to keep it up while trying to manage my stress, my parent’s expectations and other personal problems, but we can do this, even if it’s difficult, we can go through this. Good luck 🫶🏻
good luck to you. Let's take it one step at a time
I needed to watch this. This validated me so much. I am overly ambitious but I’m lazy and I procrastinate and didn’t know why. I studied over 4+ years for a degree I learned I hated. Now I’m trying to do something different and I’ve been mad at myself for years going for a degree that makes a lot of money instead of personal joy. I’m trying to focus on being grateful for the things I have and self love. For the past 2 years I tried what they say “focus on your ideal self” mine was a millionaire and not surprisingly that didn’t happen. I just had a lot of anxiety attacks instead. But this year will be focus on enjoyment and what works well for me to complete my goals. Thanks!
I want to do something I’ll enjoy too but I don’t know what to do
I loved this. Thank you. I've been in paralysis mode for about 8 years now. It's horrifying to think about. I felt a sense of community watching your video, and it was genuinely helpful. Truly, thank you so much 🫂
Perfect timing! I have to study for my finals next week😭 wish me the best of luck ! I’m also very happy you’re back
Good luck!
Good luck with your finals!! 🙌
Same here finals is next week and try to motivate myself
Wish you all the luck ❤
All the productivity videos I’ve watched this is the only out of a few who actually helped me
This is the only self-help video that has ever helped me oh my god😭😭 thank you for this
You don't have any idea how impactful this video is to my current situation now. It's like God sent you to remind me keeping my progress and stop over-planning and do nothing 😭you're my life saviour 🥹❤🩹thank you to kick my ass to get away from this lazy era and comeback to be better and embrace the imperfection. ✨
I'm so happy you found this video helpful, and you've got this!!😊
this vid hit different--so often I consume productivity content to cope with how far I am from my goals, it's hard to knowingly distract yourself with movies or videos when you are painfully aware of your flaws, but watching productivity vids feels like I'm doing something. This video was very well done, convicting and extremely (almost painfully) relatable. I don't want to give up on my dream life but the ambition mindset is a HUGE HUGE HUGE problem for me. Thanks for the thoughtful vid!
this helped me so much, thank you. I've yet to watch a video as relatable as this, the description of your goals being "paralyzing" resonates with me so much and I'm so glad someone gets how I feel.
This video is truly inspiring! I don’t usually share recommendations, but I have to tell you about the book women’s magic truths on borlest. It offers unique perspectives on wealth and self-care that you won’t find elsewhere. Wishing everyone all the best
I feel like you've captured an issue so prominent in this generation and universally people all throughout history. So thank you for being a source most of us can deeply relate to and helping and prompting us to understand and reflect on our own struggles individually and collectively.
The lesson to look into myself and see where is the starting point, not running towards some unrealistic myself that I created inside my head, is actually mind blowing for me
Everything you said was a discovery I made after I started treating my anxiety and my brain changed.
It's really interesting how planning too much inhibits us from taking action.
I loved your video!
Aint no way this worked 😭 I literally got up out of my bed after lying here for the past 2 days! 🙈 Ty so much, sis, and i really like this form of content! ❤
2:55 you’ve just explained something that I’ve struggled with! That gap creating the unhappiness that breeds impatience and stops us being consistent! Thank you so much ❤
I completely agree with you as I had also gone through the same and had even discovered all the backlogs of my ambition just like you did. Thanks for posting.
I tell myself what I’m not changing I am choosing. If I don’t make the effort to change it I am actively choosing to be ok with it. You should pick your battles but don’t complain about the things that you aren’t willing to change.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO!! I always create huge goals and end up procrastinating because the goals are too overwhelming idk but still..and i woukd reach nowhwre and then i hate myself and the cycle just continued...YOU GAVE ME SOME LIGJT TODAY THANK YOU SO MUCH!! ILL MEET MYSELF WHERE I AM AND START WITH WHAT I HAVE AND BE BETTER THAN WHAT IAM!!!
1. Look at little things you don't like or haven't done and fix that. Baby steps.
2. Be picky with your goals, pick 1 or 2 and focus on that.
3. 80% action 20% research as you go on. You learn more during the process.
4. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR GOAL EVEN IF THERE IS A 1% CHANCE OF YOU SUCCEEDING AT IT. 1% is a bigger probability than 0. Be extremely dedicated.
Be STUBBORN.
5. Be clear with your goals. How rich is rich for you? Have clarity.
6. Have goals that you wanna achieve solely for you, not to appease anyone else. Something you are emotionally attached to. What would you want to put your all into achieving if you were invisible and were to not get any appreciation or validation from anyone but yourself?
7. Setting realistic goals that are actually achievable and believe you can and will achieve it.
8. Breaking down goal to smaller levels till you believe you can actually achieve it.
9. Know and implement your first step and then, in accordance, make daily or weekly plans.
10. Know your limits. Think practically about your goal.
11. Be flexible with it. You're not cursed, you are just not doing what would work for YOU. Try different methods towards the same goal. Sometimes the wrong train takes you to the right destination.
12. Start taking action, this instant, just do it. Praise yourself every step of the way. Acknowledge the fact that you show up for yourself and are taking active steps towards your goals, it makes everything a little easier, makes you wanna do it and show up for yourself everyday.
Thanks..I was lazy to watch the video
but the hard one is ...set realistic goal ...how .....idk my dream is realistic or not ??????
Life changing,thank you for telling me what I could never figure out, something was missing but I couldn’t put to words why I was not doing what I knew I should be doing
wow, it's like the universe really sent me this video. I've always thought why i have been stuck despite constantly making vision boards and writing down my goals, i knew what i wanted, but I'm not taking any actions to do it 🙃 the video really helped clear a few things
this is one of the only self help videos I've seen in my life that actually helped me a LOT. AND I WATCHED A LOT OF THEM. I LOVE UR ENERGY TOO THANK YOU SO MUCH
Ive always struggled with over dreaming about stuff and never completing it your video helped me so much thank you!!!
I’m so glad it helped!!🥰
This is the most influential video I've ever watched. Thanks for bringing this up ❤
Girl, it felt like I was UNDERSTOOD. You articulated everything so well! 🎀
This is literally what I've been thinking of recently. I make really long to-do lists too and end up getting nothing done in the day and also don't hold myself accountable because a part of me just knows that I'm probably not gonna get this much done anyways. I was much more productive when I didn't give myself a mental barrier or trick myself into thinking planning was productive. It really is best to just start doing it. Don't think about it. I play music in the background so that I stop thinking about the process and just let myself do it.
You have no idea how relatable and impactful this video is! Thankyouuuuuuu so much❤
0:52 i cannot stick to my plans even for a day.
Hey, so happy you’re back. Missing your productive aesthetic vlogs 🥺
OMGG- THIS ENTIRE VIDEO CALLED ME OUTTT!! like the examples and everything exactly meee, thank you sooo muchhh for this videooo
SO HAPPY IT HELPED!! Glad there’s another me out there and the examples were useful!☺️
Perfect timing, I've been stuck in a loop, and I needed this...
I don't even know what I'll do if I don't get into my dream University, and I've been feeling so pressurized and numb because of it, because of which I don't even start doing anything
Your videos really help thank you so much
oh my god! I came across this video just when I needed it the most. I just got my results for my 3rd semester and I was so deeply disappointed with myself because of how low I scored. I had planned everything from the beginning, got all those fancy apps, bought every cute stationary I could find, promised all my friends and family that I would score the best. But each time I failed to understand a concept, solve a sum, answer a question or even had a remotely negative interaction with one of my professors, I would get so detached with the subjects that I was studying. Instead of working on learning more and overcoming those problems I chose to constantly imagine myself being smart and scoring well and avoid anything that made me face the fact that I am unprepared. This led me to not study when I should've and I completely messed up on my exams :,)
I’m so glad this video came to you when you needed it! I’m sorry to hear your 3rd semester results didn’t turn out like you’d hoped, but mistakes are always there to teach us how to grow!!😊 Of course it’s disappointing, but I can tell you have great self-awareness, and I know you can bounce back and do even better next semester.💪 Hopefully some of the tips in this video will help, as well as your own analysis of yourself/and what works for you!!🫶 You’ve got this!👏
@@StudyToSuccessThank you so much! I love your channel it has helped me through so many things❤
9:42 THAT FELT LIKE A PERSONAL ATTACK
Girl you have no Idea how much you've helped me throughout the years!This was so helpful!
girllll you saved my life i swear this video AND thea study!! ive been so 'stuck' since 2020 and for the first time i feel that i can actually accomplish my goals
I USED TO WATCH U WHEN I WAS SMALL, IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE U BACK AGAIN
AW THAT’S SO COOL!! Welcome back!🤗
You turned to the PAIN CAUSE, and it worked. So many people are buried in suffering because their pain senses are dulled, numbed, paralyzed. Just because one doesn't achieve their goals doesn't mean they shouldn't be happy. Several lots of unsuccessful people are very happy people who prioritize joy over ambition. This can be so dangerous.
Literally you stole my words.. it's been 4 years since I feel stuck and recently i am realising why other motivation videos don't work for me.. your video came on my feed and i never feel so understood by someone... Thank you dear ❤️
I HIGHLY RESPECT YOU GIRL💗💗💗THIS IS THE FIRST VIDEO I EVER WATCHED OF YOU AND I CAN'T BE MORE THANKFUL THEN THIS THAT I GOT YOU
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPER SWEET AND KIND WORDS!!🥹🫶
Gurl, this is the first video I’ve seen of yours, and damn, FINALLY, someone who understands what I’ve been going through for YEARS. Always believing I was just “a bad student, a procrastinator, and I always will be.” But this video gave me hope! ❤ truly, thank you!
Thank you so much for this I've been stuck for the last couple of years just barely hanging on not liking myself very much. Setting all the goals for the future I'm stressing that I can't get there. I'm glad to not feel so alone after seeing this video.
This is the ONLY video on productivity that I have found on youtube which is actually helpful to me. Thank you so much.
Thanks girl, this is the video I need know .
oh my gosh the ambitions things where manifesting made me lazier spoke to me so much, i’ve finally found my people
I never felt so understood before and all her old bad habits were actually the ones that I did! She really helped me
This is the most realistic video I’ve been waiting for, thanks!
The realest video to success truly. PERFECT timing
Hey I needed this so badly I was consistently struggling with my goals of getting fit and ministry posting and family and friends etc. this have helped I will start implementing these things today
YOU LITERALLY SAVED MY LIFE WITH THIS VIDEO , m so thankful
I did not expect to relate to this video so hard. Scary relatable. ☀️💛
I really hope the tips help you, and I’m glad you found the video relatable!!🥰🫶
Omg Thank you so much Estella this really helps! ❤❤❤ 😭😭😭😭I also feel stuck and miserable myself too... Thank you so much Estella ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤You're amazing! ❤❤❤❤❤
will start now and bring out the best academic comeback and will get into my dream college this coming year
Girl u have no idea how helpful this video is. I thought I was a weirdo because conventional stuff isn't for me. Deadline makes me sluggish because I underestimate myself and planning is a curse for me. I'm more productive when I got little things on my plate. I'm so grateful to find this video. Thank you for reminding that "I'm me"
I’m so happy you found this video helpful!!😊🫶 Embrace the fact that “You’re you”, because there’s absolutely beauty in that! It’s just about finding what works for people like us.😌
tbh I feel so called out on this video, but It helps me a lot. I've been feeling stuck since I got graduated from high school (like 3 years). Thank you for making this, share your story with us and actually give valuable tips!
I reposted this video on X to promote you. "If you're a dreamer, and wanting your dreams to come true, watch this, some of the most powerful self programming lessons, I have ever witnessed. This woman is an absolute genius. Bravo!" You have a new fan, I have never seen better, and this is a subject I've put a lot of time into figuring out, but you are beyond genious, thank you for your work!
Wow, that’s so sweet of you! Thank you so much for the repost and the kind words!!🥰🫶
Gurrrrrrl I needed to hear this today. Thank you!!! 🙏🏽 ❤
I could not thank you more for this message. Like others have reiterated, it could not have come at a better time. Thank you for this encouragement to help me go forward. Have a great week!
I’m so happy to hear that this video came at the perfect time for you!!😊 And I hope you have an amazing week as well!🫶
Caught in 15 sec
Caught in 3.😂
Honestly, I really appreciate you were being so simple. You were just being you and that is so relatable. In any other videos I saw, there’ll be like girls with perfect makeup/appearances talking about big things with big words, and tbh it was more depressing for me. Every time I look at those videos, I was like I can never be that girl. Everything I did was not perfect like those girls and I wanted to pursue perfection to be like those girls. And like you said, I was stuck in this phase for very long time. But since the start of last December, I’ve changed my mindset bit by bit and been seeing results. So I was really pleasantly surprised to see someone talking out loud my thoughts these past few days and succeeded doing all that, meaning I’m on the right path now. Thank you for keeping trying and sharing your experience with us. I’ll also keeping trying till I become who I always wanted to be.
I'm just about to make my own vision board for next year, and yeah just like what you had explain I almost tripped to unrealistic goals which would definitely stress me in the future. Thank you for sharing, this is the most honest motivational video I ever watched.
I LOWKEY STOPPED IN MY TRACKS BC UR SOOO PRETTYYY 💗💗💗💗💗
Thank you so much for this video! You spoke to many students around the world including myself, who constantly set goals for themselves, but do not even attempt to accomplish them. Please keep up with your amazing talents!
Thank YOU for your support!!🫶
@@StudyToSuccess You're welcome!
Thank you for making this videooooo. It's really nice to see someone who shares the same mindset that works for me too. I did all of these when I was younger and was very true to my actual "goals" and "wishes". I think throughout the years i sort of disconnected to this and started conforming to this "it-girl", dream-big, manifesting concept and narrowing myself to goals more because I would like the way it would make me look to others from their perspectives rather than them being my own interests. I realised this and am wanting to unlearn it, and this video really resonated with me. Felt like breath of fresh air, thank you so muchhh.
Honestly l have to recommend the book called:
Hidden Discipline Methods! It’s packed with powerful techniques and reveals methods you won’t find in mainstream advice… if you’re looking for clarity, focus and personal growth in this chaotic world…
I need that… I procrastinate a lot
i read it on Keezano.. mind blowing read
W book for sure
Who’s it by? For some reason I can’t find it
what's the author's name? ;-;
This literally spoke to me bc I struggled like this for years and felt embarrassed to explain it to other people this validated me
I've been called "too ambitious" all my life, and honestly I love that I have ambitious goals, and that I want to get all these things by 5 years time, but I've started to learn to prioritize my mental health, to prevent burn out, to control my anxiety and overthinking, and to celebrate my small wins like just setting up the website, posting that first video, or doing that workout! You can get all those ambitious goals without beating yourself up, being too unrealistic with your goals; instead start small and messy, just prioritize being consistent, and just do the damn task instead of researching and planning too much!
BRAIN EXPLODED! OMG thank you for this, I NEEDED this. So much. 💖
I have subscribed to this channel for years now. I need these videos on my feed, I never used any social media so my only source for getting knowledge has always been YT or just good old reading stuff. Now for some time, my YT feed has been totally effed up with so much nonsense that I hate using YT now, after installing the shorts block extension and all I thought that YT would be less distracting but for some reason, the recommendation algo is messed up like bro idaf that some random guy dropped a plate to see how many balloons popped, I need study, career, and people improving themselves, actual knowledge videos like 3B1B, veritasium. I need that YT.
Thank you so much for this. This topic really resonated with me. I'm a perfectionist so it lead to a lot of unnecessary suffering for me. I think it's really important to give compassion to ourselves. To remind ourselves that it's okay to not be perfect and to fail sometimes.
I literally cried last night and barely got any sleep because of this issue because I felt like I was failing at life. Thank you 😔✊
I always relate myself with you Estella, and honestly, I have been stumped with goals over the last 4 years, (even though I am very young), so thank you for this video!
aggh dont post ur age online
@@Lizzie-gv5si Well, I do not care. This is my mother's account and no one can track me anyway.
@@Lizzie-gv5si BTW, thank you for caring.
I saw a comment on tiktok a few years ago that rewired my brain for the better. It was a video of someone learning a complicated skill and someone commented on that video saying like, this will take years to learn so why is the creator even bothering with it. The creator just replied "the time will pass anyway," and honestly? Yeah, it will. You can absolutely mourn that you didn't start something earlier, but the time really will pass no matter what. If you're not dead, it's not too late. Start today.
Ooh that’s a really great quote/response to that TikTok comment! I totally agree that it’s better to start now and just do your best to make a baby step a day, as the time will pass anyway, an each step accumulates over time and makes a huge difference!!😊
You have vocalized everything in my mind and my actions in a way that I could never. I truly resonated with this video more than all the self help books I've read in the last 4 years. I am grateful and am saving your video to replay and take these steps to change my life. I thought there was something wrong me. I think this helped heal a bit of myself
It’s mind blowing how spot on you described my struggles
I love your video. Today I'm researching something to study my English and I found it, how I'm grateful for this video have appeared to me, what you say is totally right, some methods of mindset that I've already tried too, it's so bad for us, but the important that we continue to learn and principal learn things that really help us look like that, thank you to sharing good things 💕💕
So much of this was such a bad callout to me. I know what I was doing wrong I think I got to work on reasonable goals to help me achieve my lofty ones
i feel so called out, im done with being lazy, hope this woks
Omg I used to watch you all the time during my undergrad during the pandemic IM SO HAPPY you’re back on my recommended! just as I’m about to start grad school 🥹♥️
I have been miserable for 6 years i don't want it to become 7. Thank you for making this video i really needed this.
This was so good! It's as authentic as it could get! Thank you for this! I hope I could get at least a part from this video and start doing!✨
I feel so called out omg….. thank you for this!