Should you quit riding when you have kids? A deeply personal discussion.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ต.ค. 2024
- Should you quit riding when you have kids? A deeply personal discussion. We all know there are risks with motorcycling. But maybe the greatest risk of all, would be to quit riding, lose your identity, your passion and not live the life you wanted? Do you need to sacrifice your hobbies when you start a family? What about the risk? Is it justified? If so, how?
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Well said. I’m 75 years old. I put riding aside after an ankle fusion. After 3 years away from riding, I found I was missing something from my life. I was retired, playing golf most everyday. Yet, the bell wasn’t ringing.
I have to thank my wife for getting me back to riding. She would engage other motorcycle riders in conversation about their bikes and their rides.
So, here we are, back riding again. It does free the soul. Alaska is our goal.
👍❤🏍
Well said! Alaska is on my bucket list - once the border opens, if I can do it, I am going. This summer or next summer.
@@BigRockMoto That has always been on my list as well. Hit me up if you need a riding partner!
@@damachine3 Thats awesome that your wife helped get you back into motorcycling. We have two things in common, wives helping us get back into the game, and we want to ride (and eventually move to) Alaska.
I plan on riding it when I retire, in the next year or two. I'm third on the list at my dealer for a Pan America. My other bikes would be too low or too slow. lol
congrats again!
I’m now 74. From when I was a little kid reading Popular Mechanics and R&T I was interested in someday boating, buying fast cars and riding motorcycles. I married young, right after college, lived overseas, did a Ph.D., had a child in my 20s and worked constantly so there was neither the time nor the money to pursue these things, or at least that’s what I thought. In my 40s I got divorced and thought that I might take up motorcycles. My son was about 12 then and when I shared my thoughts about riding with a friend, he shocked me by turning around, pulling off his T-shirt and showing me his back that was horrible scarred. “This is from a fall on a motorcycle. You have a young kid that you’re responsible for; you can’t do something risky like riding.” I thought about what he said, how vulnerable my son was already because of the divorce and decided not to take up something I had never done before. Around the same time I also turned down a terrific job on the other side of the country because it would take me away from my son when I thought he needed me. By my 50s I was remarried, the son was graduating high school and I decided I would try to take up motorcycling again. I’ve been riding every since. I started on a Suzuki Bandit 600 and have owned a 2004 FJR1300 since it was first introduced to the US. Now in my 70s I’m thinking about buying a smaller, lighter motorcycle in the hope that it will allow me to ride a few more years before worries about eyesight, coordination and balance may intrude on the thrill I get riding. So, I guess my conclusion is that for me personally, a young, vulnerable child who depended on me meant that I should avoid excess risk. An older, more independent child meant that I could tolerate more risk for something that brought me such pleasure and, by the way, helped me relate to my young grandson (“grandpa isn’t afraid of anything!”). I can understand different choices for others, but I think these were the right choices for me.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Now, I’m not 74 yet, but reading your comment now at the age of 46 it was like riding a time machine. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I got licensed fairly late at 35 but I dreamed about it from my early teenage years. After getting my first son I had the exact same personal struggle and discussion in my head. Should I really pursue this? Is it worth the risk. My wife never really loved my hobby (commuting on road bike and casual trackdays) and eventually a dirt bike for enduro riding. But she never denied it and she respected my desire for it. It ended with an extra life insurance and she accepted my passion for riding. I paused it all for a year when the second son came 8 years later, and I was on parental leave and did not want my infant son never to know his father. And also I did not want my wife to be left alone, me being dead, and no support from Kindergarten (they start at 1-1,5yo here in Sweden most oftenly). But even though I paused it all and knowing it was the right choice for me and my family, it was such a rejoice getting the next bike and resume the ride again. I hope the physical training Im doing 4-5 days a week let me stay healthy to reach my 70s and perhaps 80s as a rider still. The day I stop needs to planned as thorough as replacing work when retiring to keep my sanity. I could so relate to your own experience and thoughts.
Kudos...I am on my 2nd GSA at 65 ...a 2021 Rallye ...I have to train hard to ride it offroad but doable...I live in Vancouver Canada and 4 hours from here...is remote....we are so lucky to have this passion...ride safe.
Great video - please listen to him.
20 years ago I lost my wife to cancer at the young age of 35 when my daughter was 17 months old. I had stopped riding when I got married but always missed it. Five years ago, when my daughter turned 15 I got the bug again. Even though I'm a single parent I have to do this for myself. I'm very happy to be back on a bike (well, six of them now!) and enjoying street and dirt riding more than ever. I hope to keep riding for many more years.
There's no guarantee you'll be here tomorrow, life doesn't go on forever! 'Life is Short' is not just a slogan it's a fact. Get out there and ride, it'll improve your mental state...
thanks for sharing. so sorry about your wife.
Great share Ian. Exactly the type of video the world needs to see. Real, raw, authentic.
Much appreciated
I appreciate your transparency, it made me think as well. I may not agree with some of the things you said but I appreciate what you just did. God Bless
Love seing humans talking about being human. Thanks Ian
You should never quit your hobbies or passions, but you can modify the way in which you do them to better suit your circumstances. Thanks for the open book video -
Great point!
Modify?
Yes! Add a side-car! On one of the bikes. Timing is everything... Kids love riding in side cars with their non-driving parent from 2 or 3. When 4 years old they love to ride in side cars both with and without the second parent.
But keep a few bikes without side car.
Motorcycle with side car is the optimal good weather small family vehicle!
I disagree
I recently lost my 28yr old son to a motorcycle accident (CRF300) but despite that, me and my older son still love riding and won't quit, to the contrary, we have another reason to continue and in doing so, we believe we honor his memory. He died doing what he loved most in this life, and that bring us consolation. If it is your passion, practice it responsibly as opposed to quit it, because your passions feed your spirit and help you maintain the focus of what it is really important in this life. The cliche or "ride to live and live to ride" it is actually true for all of us 2 wheel riders. May God bless us all and keep you as sharp as you are with these videos
I just got back into riding after a 25 year hiatus. The day I bought the motorcycle I bought all the gear (riding suit, helmet, gloves,boots) at considerable expense. The safety features that the KTM adventure 890 R came with weighed heavily in my decision to buy this particular bike. I am 50, married with 4 kids. I tell my family this is a calculated risk. But, I am taking all the precautions to decrease the risk as much as possible. I am signed up for a 2 day adventure riding course as well. The fact is, I snow ski, water ski, Mtn bike, run chainsaws, hunt from a tree stand; everything I enjoy has some inherent risk. Life is short. Tomorrow is not guaranteed even if you are sitting on the couch every day. If you think you can wait to do something you really want to do, you are taking tomorrow for granted. I know myself, I will always regret not getting the motorcycle. And if I don’t do it now, each year that goes by will only increase my risk, or I will end up never doing it. And regretting that fact. So, I am all in. We will see how it goes. I love every mile I am putting on the bike. I hope I stay safe, just like I hope I don’t get cancer. But in the end, if you are really going to enjoy life, you have to take some risks. Thank you for sharing your personal story.
thanks for posting
I will be 49 in July. I have a beautiful wife of 29 years. We have two sons one 28 in the Air Force and one 7 that is heading to the marines….. 😁. I just made the decision to ride again too. I believe I will be purchasing the Tiger 900 Rally Pro. I made this decision while laying in bed for last 3 months due to a herniated disc. Loosing my ability to walk more than 20 yards and stand for more than 2 minutes, made me realize that time is short and life is meant to live. Motivation for my rehab is to be able to continue this adventure. I road motocross from 8 until about 13. I had a GS 1100 between 19-20. This is all new to me and I am encouraged to read your post and see this video.
How has the riding gone for you?
What do you think? Have you ever considered quitting riding? What does your spouse, or your kids, think about your hobby? How do you manage the risk? Let's have a discussion.
Ask any kid whether he'd rather have a hefty life insurance payout or a mother/father who loves them. If I am ever blessed with children, I am not sitting on a motorcycle until they are grown up.
I'd imagine that if I really did have an itch, it'd be on familiar roads with light traffic -- somewhere where I feel the risk of death is not significantly higher than being in a cage.
I have considered quitting because of the kids. I still ride. Your candid talk was very relevant.. not alone
@@Don2006 I’d argue that you’re choosing to live small. And also, you’re teaching your child that it’s okay to live small. I have a five year old son, and I love adventure riding. Wouldn’t quit it for my kiddo, and I think that’s the bigger, more important lesson. Find what you love to do, and go do it. Find a way to figure it out, to make it work, and to make time.
Being an example to your kid in a positive way is what’s important to me IMO. I could get smoked by a vehicle sure. I could also be diagnosed with cancer today, or have an stroke when I go to sleep next week. Tomorrow is never promised, and so choosing to not do the things that fire you up is a mistake, IMO
@@DJMocha10 I'll be the 1st to defend your point about not wussifying our kids. It ultimately depends on each individual's risk assessment (consequence & probability), skill level, and passion; what I wrote is for my particular case. It's important to make your assessment intelligently, and without any biases grounded in complacency.
Driving a car on a freeway, living in a high crime area, poor lifestyle habits -- these are possibly even riskier activities that most people partake in.
Personally I would never give up powerlifting, which is also capable of killing me. I do not pass judgment on parents who ride if that's a core part of their identity... as long as they're not doing anything blatabtly stupid.
@@DJMocha10 To some extent, I also disagree that it's teaching children to be wusses. Rather, I see it more as a lesson in sacrifice, delayed gratification, cost/benefit reasoning... things that actually make a person successful in life.
This is not to say that folks who choose your path in life lack any of these things. It just doesn't HAVE to be a lesson on fear.
My dad had similar passion flying. He stopped when I was around 10 years old, and became a "worm of his former self".
He started with a passion forged toward the end of WW2, continued with a private plane, then pulled the plug (likely financial).
He could afford to get back into planes but never did, and his light got dimmer and dimmer until his 80's and passed away.
I fully agree with everything you said, and accept the risks. Seize the day.
This video is so needed for parents. We often think our journey has ended once we have kids. I've learned that, for me, it's important to thrive in what I'm passionate about. It's only then that I give the best of me to my son.
That was an amazingly honest vlog from the heart. I was supremely fit but was diagnosed with a rare cancer at 29, just weeks after getting married. I survived but now have chronic kidney disease and other issues as a result of the treatment. My mental health is often not good. However, last year at the age of 53 I decided to take up motorcycling. Unfortunately due to covid I haven't been able to take my test but I bought a 125 and have ridden all through winter. The benefit to my mental health has been amazing and anyone who doesn't ride wouldn't understand. Hopefully I'll get my full licence in the very near future. Motorcycling can be dangerous but as you say it's all about mitigating the risk. Luckily my boys are in their late teens so it doesn't really play on my mind. Take care and ride safe.
Thanks for sharing. I hope your health improves
I pray you are well.
10 years ago I quit riding because of my kids and my wife. Now I am back and I am so happy.
great!
What does riding have to do with a wife and kids? I don't see the correlation?
Never entered my mind. There are risks in everything, you cant stop living!
Your story is inspiring. I wonder if you realize that you make a big difference (for the better) in the lives of your viewers and fellow riders with each video, whether it's a review or a "how to" or a journal or a quip. Motorcycling is passion and very spiritual. As we ride, we're IN the picture and not just looking at it through a window. You reminded me that my passions are my most precious gifts, even to share with others, and it's really "use it or lose it." We'll see you out there on the road. Keep the shiny side up!
Awesome. Thank you and ride safe.
The look on my 3 year old boy when ever i come home from a ride wearing my helmet, just priceless! .. will never stop riding, the focus, the concentration and the happiness nothing else provides me this than riding a motorcycle.
Great video and god bless
I have a four year old. I love him more than anything, but at the same time, raising kids is extremely time and energy consuming. If I’d quit riding I would go absolutely crazy. You should make a follow up video «how to make time to ride while having kids» 😂
Great idea! Time is a huge challenge
Question? Are you going to introduce riding motorcycles to your children or I can do it, but it's too dangerous for you kid. #The family that rides together stays together. #Motorcycles a hobby the whole family can enjoy.
@@carls.2071 Not sure if this was aimed at me or Ian, but I’ll share my thoughts anyways. If my son wants to start riding when he is old enough I’m absolutely going to let him and help him with everything, from teaching him maintenance to riding technique. At the same time, I know how reckless 18 year old boys can be, so I’d probably be afraid out of my mind each time he is out riding.
Your motorcycle videos are the best on TH-cam! This one was both a surprise and a very, very good one.
Ian, I have followed you for a couple of years and always been impressed by your professional attention to detail when reviewing bikes, in all that time I would never have guessed that you had these burdens and I am deeply impressed that you shared your inner feelings with us and personally I have never been so deeply moved by any video than I have with this one because you have openly expressed so many life challenges that most people at one level or another at some period in their life, experience. Many congratulations for having the sheer courage to share this with your viewers and I am sure it will be an inspiration to so many, you certainly are to me. I totally get the comparison with your father and all I can say is that a guy at your level is probably safer on a motorcycle than 90 per cent of people are in a car. When you achieve a certain level of situational awareness, quite frankly, a motorcycle gives you more, not less, opportunities to avoid accidents. Thank you so much once again for sharing this and God bless you and your wonderful family. Stay chilled and stay happy.
real people talking real stuff from their heart. love this courage, honesty and YOU for doing this.
a big thank you
It's funny that at the time we can feel completely alone and lost, but when you describe your experiences and thoughts I completely indentify with everything you said.
Me too .
Hello Ian.
I watched this video for the first time, today, 17th August 2022, and I want to thank you very much for sharing your story and your thoughts about this subject.
I’m a 30 years old rider from Romania, Europe, and I have 3 kids, 4 yo, 1 yo and the third on the way.
My riding experiențe begun several years ago with a Piaggio scooter, and after years I bought a maxi scooter wich needed a driving license and after that a bought a V-Strom, and I have it today.
My wife, at the beginning, wasn’t excited about me riding a motorcycle, but now, she realises that this passion is a cure for me, a thing that brings a real joy and confort and something that helps even our relationship. She is the best wife and a very wise woman.
I even took my kids with me on the motorcycle, on very short rides, and they enjoyed them a lot 😀
I would like that, at least, my son will love motorcycles and we’ll could have nice trips together, in the future.
Thank you for sharing your story. Many parallels. Riding for nearly 30 years over 300k ridden...have wife, 2 teenage daughters, mortgage, terrific career etc... and I discovered a long time ago that I could not have the life I have WITHOUT the joy, growth, appreciation and self-refection motorcycling has brought to my life. When I thank the lord for all my blessings the experiences motorcycling has facilitated in my life are all intertwined for sure. Like you I managed depression early in life and motorcycling has been for me the best therapy year after year. A recent cancer diagnosis hasn't diminished my love and need to ride in the slightest.....in fact its made it more joyful. And yes, tomorrow is promised to NO ONE ....whether you ride or not. So why not live each day like the way kids do---they simply look to enjoy each day in the moment .
Such great points. Sorry about your cancer. I hope you beat it. Yes- I wish us adults could live in the moment like kids do. We have lost that.
This is powerful. I have a 15-year-old son and I have been riding for the last six years. He and my wife would be fine financially if something happened to me but I am very conscious of the loss that he was feel. On the other hand, like you, this is part of who I have become, part of what motivates me to stay in shape, part of what energizes me to be a better husband and father. So I do everything that I can to stay safe, take training once or twice a year, all the gear all the time, and never ride at night. But also stay off pavement as much as I can. None of these things are guarantees hi, along with being a sensible rider, give me the confidence to keep doing what I love. Thank you again. Never seen anything like this on social media
Thank you for watching and posting your thoughts. I wish I could stay away from road riding, but honestly touring is my favorite type of riding.
Well said! I too became very sick with diverticulitis (crippling gut problems) after a blown disk in my neck and back and also had two wonderful children and so gave up on my hobbies as a result. After 4 years of not focusing on myself left me at rock bottom, as a mentally and physically exhausted Father. Just started riding again and what a life saving and changing gift from God to have 2 wheels soaking in the sights again. Freedom isn't free. There is a cost but well worth it.
thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the video, Ian. This may be the most important video you ever make. I appreciate the rawness and honesty - I know so many people who have quit riding for similar reasons of feeling an obligation to stop for others, but lost an important piece of joy in their lives as a result.
There isn't a right or wrong answer, but it's unique to everyone's situation. I'm glad you have chosen to keep doing something you love and are passionate about and that has given you so much in return. Being emotionally available to your family because you are personally fulfilled also makes you a better husband and father.
You are a good rider, a talented and successful person at everything I've seen you pour yourself into, determined, have a lot to share with others and have started an important conversation here. Thank you for your friendship over the years, you big jerk. 😁
So far the most interesting video on this channel. Are used to ride Suzuki 650 even after our first child. My wife did not feel comfortable when our second child was on the way and she had me sell it. Since that day the love of riding motorcycles is still in my heart and always makes me turn my head watching riders pass by. Kids are in high school right now and I’m saving for their college. I know someday in the future I will go back to riding a motorcycle. This video really touched my heart and how I feel
Wow Ian. It's really not easy baring your soul in front of a camera and let the whole world witness your deepest vulnerabilities and insecurities. Just shows what a solid, real man you are. Kudos, and much love from Bangalore, India.
I have no idea why but I have just found your TH-cam channel
I'm a 59-year-old pediatrician is been in private practice for 30 years
who has been riding for more than 40 years
what you have presented here means more to me and of course the other 500+ people who have commented and the thousands who have seen this and not commented than you can possibly imagine
thank you for sharing your life with us beyond just what can be seen over the front wheel of your motorcycles
I don't enjoy riding alone as much as I used to but most of my friends have stopped doing so and if I'm not out there by myself I'm going to be sitting in front of the television eating Doritos becoming less healthy
so I'm trying to ride 500-1,000 miles a week here on the West Coast of Florida
enjoying every one of them even though I'm still working six days a week
I will watch this video 40 times
and dig deeper into your channel
sorry I'm late to the party
thank you for being here and thank you for all that you are doing
my thoughts are with you and your family now and always
Greg
Thank you, Ian. That was incredibly raw and honest of you. I'm a rock climber and a skier and I discovered riding last year during the pandemic shutdown. I bought a KLR out of the blue, taught myself to ride, and toured forest roads around VT all summer. It did wonders for my mental health during that time and I can't imagine what I would have done without it. Now a year and 6000+ miles in I can't ever go back. That "flow state" you described is something that previously I had only gotten from climbing and skiing, but now I see it on the bike too. I don't have a family and I'm not even sure I want kids, but I don't think I could ever give up these passions and still be me.
thanks for sharing
Dear Ian,
Thank you for sharing. I can totally relate to the mental health effect of riding a motorcycle.
I'm living a similar situation, having three kids now, the oldest 14y, and the youngest only 3y young.
I've had to sell my bike several times, whenever a child was born, or when we moved house. Each time ending up buying another one, just to have it sell again a couple of years later, over and over again.
My last bike (a 2012 F658GS) was sold over 2 years ago as it was sitting still in the garage for over a year since my youngest son was born.
Two years without riding now, and I feel frustrated on both professional and personal level. and had a negative impact in my family life and my behaviour towards my wife and kids.
This uncomfortable feeling started to increase and get worse since over a year now.
I just started to feel that I have missed out on so much these past 10 or 15 years, even though I realise that I have been blessed with so many other things, a loving wife, lovely kids, a nice house, professional opportunities, etc... but still ... something important is missing ...
I feel I have not fully explored my motorcycle passion.
I started riding motorcycles at 16y, and got my full power licence at 20y. (I'm 41y now)
And my dream since I was a teenager was to live big adventures on a motorcycle, with Paris-Dakar obviously being the summum, although less realistic ;-))
...
So ... I have now recently decided to pick-up riding again, but this time more off-road focussed. (First maxi-trail off-road trainings have been booked !!!)
It's not an easy overnight decision, but now I finally have to guts to be a little bit more selfisch, and try to get closer to actually living the passion I've been dreaming so long about.
...
I'm hoping this will have a positive effect on myself and the people close and dear to me.
Take care of yourself and your family, stay safe, ride safe, and enjoy the moment.
Kind Regards,
Jappe.
Thank you, Ian. I really respect and appreciate you making this video. I've been praying for some clarity on this subject and to have your video pop up in my feed as a motocycler whose opinion I respect is fortuitous. I also have been diagnosed with Crohn's Disease and have had surgery for it. As you say some days you wake up and you don't have the opportunity to even do the most basic things you could the day before. I've had my share of laying in bed week after week dreaming of being able to do anything again, but particularly motorcycling. Also and equally coincidentally (if that even what ti is) I have fought depression since high school, although I am very blessed to have a positive outlook on life to combat the physical attack of depression I know what it is like to fight off suicidal thoughts and not want them at the same time.) I don't like sounding cliche but motorcycling has been like no other experience for me in my life. Part of my condition too is I can't sit down for more than 30 minutes so driving in a car is out, but on a bike it is more of a standing position so I use it for my daily transportation too. Not to ramble, but I'm coming off a cascading concussion I got from riding a little over a month ago from a bad windshield (as stupid as that sounds). I've not been able to do anything, and I'm wondering if it is a sign or something that I'm supposed to let this go and stop being selfish. My wife and I can't have kids but we are foster parents and want to continue that. I just don't see me being able to replace motorcycling with anything else. If I do stop I don't want to blame anyone for it, and I don't want to use it as a crutch to be able to think, meditate, or pray better. I should be able to do those things without it. I'm struggling here and I don't have the answer, and I'm not satisfied by using it as an excuse to be a better person, which maybe I am doing right now, and that is just being selfish and lying to myself. Sorry for the wall of text...I'm just really appreciative of you and a bit stunned that this has been on my mind...especially yesterday, and then this popped up. Peace.
thanks for sharing your story. life is all about change. no one has the answers. i hope your disease can be managed. cheers
I think TH-cam can read my mind. I bought a bike (Cb650f) just a week ago. I am 40, having 2 kids. This was exactly the question that was bothering me. I asked my wife and she said it’s your passion and you should do it. I personally felt guilty of having put my passion(greed?) above the safety/priority of my family. Thank you very much for the perspective. I think I got a few points to ponder over from this video
thanks. be safe out there
I love this video because it has an excellent handling of a sensitive topic. I'm 65 and I put in over 30,000 miles on motorbikes. Enjoyed them all. In 1997 I quit motorcycling and kept up bicycling as a commuter and utility rider. At age 63, I took up unicycle and I also use it to commute short distances and for exercise. I love the mental and physical health benefits that these have brought me. Even though I now travel at a way slower pace, my grin and happiness are still there. As for family they understand and accept my passion. I had to make some adjustments in my life and they accept the fact that I'm still enjoying the benefits of doing things that keep me fit and happy. Yes there are risks but the benefits are far greater. Thanks again for your video...
Ian, thank you so much for doing a video and talking about things like family, risk, mental health, and passion for a (not entirely risk free) hobby. I appreciate your story and vulnerability in telling it. I too was a nerdy kid that got picked on and found a love for motorcycle while I was in college. It boosted my self confidence and like you said, it's almost like meditation at times on those perfect rides. Like you, I eventually got married in my 30s, have 2 toddler boys, and sold my Buell street bike a couple years ago. The bit about your dad giving up his passion to start a family and then feeling resentment really hit home for me. I too have felt this way on those long days with the kids when I just wanted to be out skiing, or riding motorcycles like my old single self. I don't want to feel like that and I take it day by day trying to have a different mindset. Which brings me to why I am subscribed to your wonderful channel. My 5 year old has expressed a interest in motorcycles and I think we're gonna get him a beginner Pee-wee bike. So of course I need one too now. Boom, I'm gonna be back in the MC world (one of my passions) but this time with my little guy right along with me. Looking at a small dual sport like a Honda or Kawa 300.
Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling but just wanted to thank you again for bringing up this topic, doing a video on it, and starting a conservation about family and mental health.
Thanks for sharing your story. This is the best video I have ever seen on youtube . I have 3 kids. I did not ride when they where younger. Now the youngest is 14 and she loves ride with me. I try to ride safe and to stay alive. Greetings from Sweden.
Thanks
I very much enjoyed hearing your reasoning. I'm a father of 4 and have given up a lot of my past passions. Becoming a father of a big family was a rapid transition for me as it took place over only 3 years. 3 of my kids are stepchildren. I've still hung onto many of my passions including motorcycling fortunately. I used to do long adv tours, spirited sport bike rides, and weekly dirt bike session. Now it's 1 single track day every other month or so on a dirt bike and my commute to work everyday on my street bike. Every blue moon as well my wife and I will ride around the nearby lake or go to a bike night when the grandparents generously babysit. Motorcycling is a much smaller part of my life these days, but the flame hasn't gone out. I feel keeping the flame lit shows day to day to my kids. Risk is ever present, but I hope even if I left this earth early, them having a passionate and courageous father would be better for them than the opposite. Thanks for sharing man. Hope in the future to be getting back adv touring. Maybe even a TAT or BDR ride with my kids riding with me.
Brave man! Thanks for this! This story, so efficiently conveyed, is really many stories packed into one. I surely don't think you appear tired at all! Quite the contrary, sharp, thought-through, well-prepared, to the point and intelligent. (As far as I'm able to judge.) And in addition, brave enough and open enough to share a video like this. (And smart enough to understand it will do good for channel.) Thanks man! And well done! By far the most interesting (in many aspects) new channel I have seen in a very long time. Thanks.
thanks
This video hits home on so many levels. Everything Ian said I can relate to. I just had my first child two months ago and I have this internal debate with myself almost daily. Most of my friends and family also question why I still find it necessary to ride motorcycles with a newborn at home. What they seem to not understand is the idea that riding is more than the simple act of “riding”- it’s a sense of release and meditation that I have come to love and crave at a level I never thought I would when I picked the hobby up 5 years ago. I too work a soul crushing corporate 9-5 and have suffered from bouts of anxiety, depression and insomnia. It seems the best medicine for all of those things has been the ability to hop on my KTM even just for a 1-2 hour ride once a week at times. Riding is my therapy and has become such a pivotal piece of my mental and spiritual happiness. Sure, if I stopped riding I’d be safer and have less inherent risk in my everyday life but at the same time, what life is worth protecting if you’re not living how you want to live, and doing the things that bring you the most joy?? LIFE IS SHORT! Lastly, I’ve been lucky enough to own sports cars too (Porsche 911) and while fast cars are fun in their own right, once you ride motorcycles, driving a car will never feel the same. So while I do make an effort to ride safer than I did before my daughter came along, I don’t ever see myself giving up riding altogether (God willing)
Thanks so much for sharing. Ride safe
I started watching your videos because I was interested in buying a GS. I have found all your clips to be really helpful in that you approach the whole subject with an open mind, you point out the pros and cons and do so in a way which is easy to listen to and easy to watch. I have learnt a great deal. Because all of your videos I had watched so far had been about the bike, this one took me by surprise, but in a really positive way. We men rarely talk about our feelings and so it was deeply refreshing and deeply moving to hear you talk about your experiences. It cannot have been an easy decision and I really admire you for it. It is so easy to make assumptions about people from what you see on the surface, but underneath things are often very different. Sharing our troubles is so important for our mental wellbeing and yet we are so bad at it. I hope this video inspires more of us to speak more openly about issues such as mental health and the impact of having a family on the pursuits we love. I too find riding a motorcycle and a mountain bike to be key to my retaining my sanity. They definitely benefit my mental health and without them I think I would go under. Thank you.
Best part of your videos is your honesty.
And some of us are struggling with the same issues, just different versions.
I have lost my son to a motorcycle accident TBI injury has left him in near vegetable state (barely there). I struggle with the high risk of motorcycling too. It is frowned upon by some as a selfish endeavor. I wouldn’t want anyone to end up like this where someone has been nearly killed on a motorcycle yet hanging in limbo with no solution. I wouldn’t want that to be me on anybody else I would just rather die as I’m sure my son would too. But we all make our choices and take high risk sometimes and have to suffer the consequences. I’d like to think that God is in control in my ending will come In whatever fashion. But these are truly difficult topics.
Wow. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I recently started following you and I’ve never had to answer this question because I don’t have kids but I’m so glad I watched this video. I too was diagnosed with a deadly disease (leukemia) in my late teens and was fortunate enough to make it through. Like you, it really shaped the rest of my life because you learn that important lesson that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. I believe it’s so important to live your life now and don’t put things off for “someday”. Two wheels (in one form or another) have always been my passion and I suspect always will be. Thanks for sharing this personal story, Ian. The world needs more of this.
thanks
Thank you!
This is my favorite channel on TH-cam! And this video blew me away! And I think what you communicate in this video will be valued by very many other people equally as high: This is about riding motorcycles, but even more; about appreciating life and living! -Thank you!
And BTW: There are many other risks: Driving a car; which we all do: It feels safe, but statistically, it is actually quite dangerous. And as you mention-sedentariness and nutritionally deficient, but addictive and craveable food stuff-Doritos and potato chips😊-are maybe even more risky than motorcycle riding. Figuring out what to do with our life is what it is all about!
Thank you for contributing to my life.
wow thank you for sharing and for your kind words - it helps keep me going
I really appreciate your reflections on the life you've experienced so far in the context of riding a motorcycle. I think you have achieved a balanced view on what motorcycling means for you (and your family). I wish you and your family many happy years together and eventually to be able to look back on this part of your life with the knowledge that it was good.
Young man, It’s great to have a family, Reality is we do not know what tomorrow is going going to bring. GO, don’t stop.
Stay safe, good luck
Everything said is right on the nose. I have pulled back on my hobbies after a child and I do bring stress to the family because of it. Some activities have stigmas from a small subset of people but done safety the stats indicate motorcycles are not more dangerous. I'm a volunteer firefighter which has high risks, but we have rules and don't break them. And for that reason the additional risk is acceptable for my family. Without that position my mental health would be worse, causing anger, stress, and health issues. Also, children need to see "dangerous" activities are safe when performed correctly to show them the need to do activities safely. Otherwise they will not grow up with all the proper tools they need in life.
OMG! I started out with a C70 too! Great kid bike. My dad was like your dad--marriage and fatherhood ended his youthful dream of becoming a solitary forest ranger, and his regret was palpable. I took the other route, swerving the conventional lifestyle in favor of continuing to pursue my passion for outdoor sports. I knew early on that being gone every weekend was no way to raise a family. I don't regret my own decision, but I sometimes wonder what might have been. Not having kids, you miss a lot--but you're spared a lot, too. Thanks for a great story!
I have been a subscriber for a while and somehow missed that video..
I'm 53 years old, been riding on and off since I was 14 (growing up in France) when my first marriage ended I was devastated and took up riding again and use to go on mondays, every week, on a 650 miles loop. That was the best help ever. Been able to empty your head, relax and focus at the same time. My 12 years old son now come with me on longer ride, we do about 250 miles round trip going for brunch in Oatman AZ. He loves it. When I had my drz 400s he always ask to go for a ride in the desert (Vegas) so we would go for maybe 1.5 hours then stop at the gas station to get ice cream /snack. He is hooked, everyday I pick him up from school on the bike, he is so proud...lol
Great video, Ian. I don’t ride (yet), but have been considering for a good amount of time. You’ve made solid points on this video and I admire your authenticity. Very courageous of you to do that. Thank you for sharing.
Keep on connecting. Keep inspiring. Keep being you.
Kudos.
Just don’t wait too long like me. I started at 39. Should have started many years before
Absolutely perfectly said! As a married police supervisor with 2 girls (5&7) this is a great statement about mental health, physical health, and risk management. You’re like the Savage Geese of the MC YT world. Keep it up! I’ve watched a few of your reviews before, but this one earned you a sub/notification. Thanks for putting yourself out there, it will benefit others...I promise!
savagegeese! My favorite TH-camr! I take that as a huge compliment. @savagegeese
I was a junkie at 16....after a year in foster home's and overdosing...fell in love with motorcycles and I was saved...fast forward 2016...broke my neck in a MVA while working in Brazil...sold my 2010 GSA....got cancer in 2018...beat it...lost 30lbs and retired....bought a 2021 GSA Rallye as a retirement present...going strong...I don't mention family as lost my loved ones in a plane crash years ago.I too have a digestion issue that's getting better from the esophagemetery and aging weight..in the gym every day...I wear a full rally suit /collar brace and riding my GSA is a drug...I never know where I am going...but I am going....great post....I subscribed...thanks for the balls to put it out there...I am 65 and I am in awesome shape and think cross-training like mountain biking help...be safe.
I stopped riding after my first son was born and stayed away for almost 20 years not long after hitting a big deer on my beloved Yamaha Seca II. Due to this close call my wife encouraged me to sell my motorcycle. To be honest I was constantly pushing the envelope. I sold my Honda CBR600F2 after a close call at 140 mph. I found myself dreaming of motorcycles and got back in 10 years ago and ride every day. I took a job in Bangkok and sold my F800, FJR, and Bonneville, but went straight to a bike shop here and bought a XSR155. I don't even own a car and ride to work rain or sun every day. I will be riding across America when I move home in 19 months and I watch your videos to help me decide what to buy. You do a great job. I agree on the training classes. I took BRC and ARC twice. For me fatherhood took precedence over my desire to ride, but I always missed it, nd got back in when my kids were older.
I am 35 years old and single... been riding a GSA for the last six years and I am scared shitless every time I go on the motorcycle. I like long multi-week adventure rides on my own and I think more about how dangerously exposed I am every single day that I ride, but I do feel exactly the same feeling you mention on your video, being happy on the road. Adventure motorcycling is my exit valve. I guess I would re evaluate my position when I get married and have kids but I don’t see myself ever quitting riding. Thanks for the video 👍
thanks for posting
It's good to have some fear it keeps you alert and keeps you from riding aggressive. Not sure if it's necessary to be overly scared though. I always ride with caution and follow safe riding practices.
Great video. I watch your videos for the advice and stories you tell. I recently lost my best friend. He got into a really bad motorcycle accident. Because of that, my family got super scared and had to stop riding. I've been emotionally troubled these past few months. Not only do I miss my best friend but also miss my passion for riding. I'm slowly hinting that I want to get back to it. It's the best therapy for me and help get me through internal struggles in my life. There's no other activity that can replace the love we have for riding. I'm hoping to get back to it reignite my passion.
Thanks for having the testicular fortitude to share your story like this. I have both a toddler and a teenager as my kids. My wife was extremely supportive of me getting back into my old high school hobby I after reminisced about. It's now became a bonding thing between my teenage son and I. I got him a little Suzuki DR200 dual sport after much begging to have his own bike and get his motorcycle license. It's now our weekend thing to work on our bikes and ride around together down back roads in the evening. I know it won't last forever, but I know he will remember these days.
Great story and thank you for sharing. I have asked those questions to myself before and gave up riding after my first child was born when I was 27. Everyone said motorcycles were death machines. I missed it terribly. I wanted to be here for my wife and child. Fast forward to December 3rd 2019 and three more children, I was 35 and found myself being airlifted to the hospital from having a major stroke. A chiropractor popped my neck causing a dissection in my right carotid artery. A tense surgery later, that I was awake for, and had to make a life or death decision was a very scary moment. MRI after MRI later the doctors say they see spot on my brain. Fast forward to May 2020 I undergo two brain surgeries and it is determined that I have a grade 2 infiltrating astrocytoma. So here I am trying to take care of myself, in very good physical shape with no medical problems, four kids, a successful business, and BOOM! Brain cancer. After an 95% recovery and a limited life span, according to the doctors, I decided to start riding again. I bought a 2020 F850GS and loaded it with every farkle available, then up graded to a 2020 R1250GS and hit the order button at revzilla for it too. Riding again has been the best decision I have made for myself, my wife, and my walk with God. I may be a little over top with gear to some people, ALL GEAR ALL THE TIME, for my wife and I, she rides with me. It is a time I can get away and talk to God with out any distractions from kids, employees, or anyone else. Perfect moments to clear my head. Tomorrow is not promised so enjoy the time you have.
Thank you for sharing. Inspiring story
Wow, heck of a story! Good luck with your medical issues.
There is so much humanity in this video. Few people can do. Much respect for this self-reflection.
Thanks for being so open and honest. My Dad raised and showed horses all my life, so growing up I got to see how important having that personal hobby was to his health. I don't know that I'd made the connection quite so strongly until hearing you talk about what it was like to grow up with someone who had given up their passions. I didn't expect this reminder from your channel, but I greatly appreciate it.
Dear your video has touched me, I have a new family and in the last few years I gave up my motorcycling, my annual long trip and taking care of my hobby. I become grumpy with family and resentfull.Last year my wife encouraged me to buy my dream bike BMW r1250gs adventure. This year took courage and had a 2500 miles lonely trip around Europe. I felt your same emotions. Thank you for this video indeed very touching for me.you are a great person thank you for what you do
I’m 29 and grew up riding dirt bikes and just got into motorcycles 2 years ago. My uncle died on a Goldwing 10 years ago and my sister just passed away in a vehicle accident (not her fault) back on April 1st so it’s not been easy to convince myself it’s still worth it but it’s so hard to give it up. My wife rode her own bike with me and still supports me in it. We love it but I quit for about a year after my son was born (he’s a 1 now) because of complications he had and needed me to take care of him. If I was a single parent I wouldn’t ride, but I know he will be looked after if something happens to me. That being said, I am saved by the grace of God and wear all my gear, all the time. If it’s too hot to wear it, I just don’t ride. Stay safe and God Bless!
thanks for sharing. I am sorry for your family losses.
Thanks for sharing your story. It totally resonates with me. I suffer from mental health, just last year I discovered motorcycling and it has been my safe Haven for finding myself.
Great, thanks for sharing
I'm a rider on exactly that point you said, mid 30's, thinking in family, wife asking for kids... You did help me a lot sharing your life story and experience! Thank you very much for the best motorcycle content on YT! Greetings from Palos Verdes!
Ian thank you so much for this video!
Like you I have been mad about motorcycles since I was a kid.
When I grew up and got a job I used to go riding all weekend every weekend. I rode to work too.
But now as an ageing adult I also suffer from a debilitating auto-immune condition (ME/CFS). I am forced to spend a huge amount of time bed or house bound, it’s very hard to live with.
One of the things that gets me through the dark times when I’m trapped in bed suffering is my passion for motorbikes. I am an ‘armchair motorcyclist’ for much of the time but my passion for motorcycles still burns so strong. Books, magazines and videos feed my passion for bikes when I’m sick. I close my eyes and remember those perfect rides I did years ago through France and Germany, the Nurburgring and the Alps. There were many perfect moments in my life on a bike.
Now on just a few occasions per year when my health allows I can ride for just a few miles. It’s a tiny tiny fraction of what I could do before the illness. But those few miles on a bike are pure gold to me. I’m still a biker!! The illness hasn’t taken that away from me. If I got too weak to ride at all I would go pillion just to be on a bike.
I am a husband and father too. My family understand that motorbikes are who I am and they would never ask me to stop and I love them for that. But I also know it’s my duty to ride safe and make sure I come back in one piece. I never ride when I’m too weak to ride safely. When I do ride safety comes first; I’ve learnt to be professional minded about riding properly. The illness has been a humbling experience and made me accept that riding is not about speed or competitive riding or having the best machine. Just being on two wheels in the countryside bimbling along at 30mph makes my heart sing. For me motorcycling is a necessity if I am to maintain my mental health.
I believe once a biker always a biker at heart, it gets in your blood.
I sometimes think of the scene in The World’s Fastest Indian when the nurse smiles at Burt Munro and says ‘I’m afraid your motorcycling days are over’ and he laughs and says ‘Like hell they are!!’
That’s me that is…. 🙂
The mental health benefits to riding motorcycles are undeniable. It’s kept depression away from me for years.
I have 2 kids now so I just sold my bikes, an RSV4 and a FE350, mostly for financial reasons. Now I’m relying on sports to keep me balanced mentally, but it’s not as efficient as motorcycling, I must admit.
To all motorcyclists: keep riding and be safe!
P.S. Ian, during my first motorcycle race I went beyond “meditation”, closer to a spiritual experience I’d say so I totally get it. Thanks for opening up. Keep up the good work!
You know, I'm 38 and I have discovered that I'm into riding Motos just 5 years ago. I'm still growing my habilities and experiences, specially when talking about traveling on and offroad. Yes, I wanna have kids and it will be in the next 5 years or so. Recently I also have asked myself:
"what is it gonna be when the kids come? Am I gonna stop riding? Will I consider it too dangerous, too risky?"
If I stop riding now and (maybe) restart it when my kids are 15 or 20, I'll be 55 or 60 already. Maybe not too old, but defenitly I'll have lost 2 decades of something that makes me feel good with myself. Riding, just like swiming, It's a kind of meditation and a feel I need it.
Having an insurance is essencial and also taking safe riding courses, etc. Traveling and thinking that your family is at home, waiting for you to come back is something that should make our trips much safer 'cause you know that somebody is counting on you to come back home.
Excellent topic to be discussed!
Always ride safe, fellows! Your family waits for you at home...safe and sound.
I rode dirt bikes since I was 10 and got my riders license the moment I was eligable. Rode bikes with passion until I got married and it took 10 years before I threw a leg over a bike again. At first the bike sat in the garage a lot, but now that my kids are teens I've reconnected with riding - esspecially adventure riding and bike camping. My wife and kids are very supportive and know that I'm responsible. My kids are into dirt bikes now and my wife is surprisingly supportive of that too - even after my older son took a spill and fractured his wrist and bruised his ribs she encouraged him to get back on the bike. I definately did dream about riding during my hiatus and did feel that sense of resentment the you talked about. I felt that I worked my tail off and did everything for my family (esspecially since my wife did not work for most of that time) and I got nothing back as a realease and a mental health fix. But time heals and if you're lucky enough to have partner where your relationship gets stronger over time you realise that you need to do things together and apart - motorcycling is my apart thing and there's mutual respect and understanding for that as long as we see eye to eye on what the priorities are that trump riding.
thanks for posting
Thank you for your wonderful video and sharing your story. As a doctor I can only try to imagine what you’ve gone through. I went through the same problems when we had kids. I stopped riding my bicycle and motorbikes. I’m now trying to find a balance and my wife supports me. Your videos are inspiring. Thanks Ian.
thanks. ride safe
Same here; I stopped bicycles and then motorcycles. My soul was dying. Eventually got back into both, cut way back on work. It’s been a long process, but balance is being restored!
Ian, thanks for opening a window to your world. Every single one of us can relate in some way. We enjoy your moto journalism so very much, please take care of yourself, your family, and keep the light on with Big Rock Moto....
Yesterday I watched your '8 mistakes ADV riders make'-video. And I thought "This is his best one."
It is not.
It is this one. I am very moved by your story and I think it is so brave that you give so much of yourself in this video. Must be weird talking this personally to a camera. But I felt like I sat there with you all the way through.
I have tremendous respect for you now and the way you handle your life situation through motorcycling. It is so inspiring.
I have ridden motorcycles since I was 18. So that is 15 years now. And I am a hobby kind of guy. I play many musical instruments and love that too. But recently I have gotten a job as a music teacher. Suddenly, music is work. Which makes motorcycling my only refuge from the stress of everyday life (I have kids too).
I think you explain so well how motorcycling is more than a hobby, but really a way of reconnecting with who you are at times when you forget.
Thank you for sharing Ian. Amazing stuff.. Holy crap.
Hi Ian, John here... I have commented a couple of times on your videos... I may have said this before, but this video serves to affirm my thought that your vids and reviews are the best out there. I am 72, and have been riding (again) for 22 years, after a crash ( no injuries) when I was in college. I now have a 2022 Africa Twin Adventure Sports (just like yours), and I have done some light off-roading, although I have some reservations (fears) about off-roading. The electronics of this bike allay some of my fears, and I think (as you have said you do) I ride safely, but I really need to get more formal training. My kids are now grown, and I am blessed with a very understanding spouse (who rides with me sometimes for short distances.) I really appreciate your level of disclosure - so genuine and forthcoming...
Take Care, and I wish you and your family well... and as I have done for some time now, look forward to future vids... (btw, I have ridden the 890R... what a hoot!!!)...
John
I'm glad you are talking about this, Ian. I started riding 11 years ago when my son was 18. My current spouse would probably prefer that I not ride, but I was riding when we met, so that wasn't going to change. Like you said, everyone has to decide for themselves what feels right. Everyone's acceptable risk level is different. If we don't take care of our mental health we are not going to be any good for anyone else. That's why people become depressed and addicted to things like food and substances and end up on their death bed full of regret. I say, lets keep our hobbies but don't do them recklessly. Motorcycles and adventures are food for the soul. Thanks for sharing your story, this is a great discussion.
Thanks for chiming in. Food for the soul - so right on.
Love you sharing this. I am a healthcare worker also return to riding after 20 years. Raised my family and realized something was missing. Return to riding and life has resumed. Life is short. We need to live our best life.
Thanks very much Ian for doing what you do and for sharing your gifts with us. This video especially shows who you are -- a good son, husband, father, and rider. I started riding at 56 and just turned 70. The last 2 years have been quiet because of a heart attack but I just bought another ride for the same reasons you shared about self-care and not being the best person you should be for your family. Ride safe and thanks very much!
Rod
You have the best of both worlds. A loving family and your bike!
Incorporating this kind of change in your motorcycling vlogs is welcomed and appreciated. You probably helped many think about the solemnity of life, what's more important and how can we balance personal decision with loved ones without appearing too selfish. No doubt, life is very precious and special.
When I ride onto a mountain's plateau and look out over the expanse and see just how small and insignificant I am, I immediately consider there's a higher being than I am, my Creator; and I often thank Him for the gift of life and the privilege just to be here, no matter of my mere circumstance in life. There's always someone who has it much more worse in life than I do. Outstanding video content!
thank you.
Wow, a truly inspiring and thoughtful piece! I recently started riding again after nearly a 40 year break but went through a lot of same thinking with respect to skiing and solo hiking when my kids were young. You hit the nail on the head, it is necessary to take care of your mental health and stay active so you can be the best father and spouse that you can. Thank you.
You nailed where I’m at right now in life. I’m 32. My wife and I had our first child last year. I’ve been riding since my early teens, and it has become something of a tradition for my dad and I to do a long trip every year. We had a trip planned to ride the blue ridge parkway that we’ve debated doing ever since my daughter was born. My dad feels responsibility for enabling and encouraging me to ride and put myself at risk with a daughter/his granddaughter at home. We are both big proponents of riding as safely as possible and mitigating risk. We’ve had many conversations about this and ultimately decided to do the trip this summer. I’m on day 3 of riding the parkway right now, and I couldn’t be happier that we chose to do this trip!
Bud I rode sports bikes in the uk for many years and yes to fast.when my girls were born I sold everything and for fifteen years went without.
Now I ride again and my girls love it as much as me and my wife .its one thing that brings us all together I’m 52 and really enjoying the life again on two wheels.like you said we all have to make the best decision for yourself.good video keep up the good work.
Thank you. Incredibly authentic and inspiring. Love watching your videos. Please keep them coming. Respect!
Thank you! Will do!
Wow Ian! I’m so happy I found this video. I happened upon it searching to see if you did a review of a Super Tenere since I think you are the best motorcycle reviewer on TH-cam. What I found instead was this and I loved this video on so many levels. First, I feel like you should pin it, or maybe re-title weighing the mental health benefits with safety risk motorcycling. You spoke so personally on the mental health benefits for you, and I loved your reference with your dad losing surfing as both an outlet and identity. I’m 46 and have a 10 year old daughter. I bought a vintage Triumph as my first motorcycle when I moved to WA and turned 40. Seemed irresponsible on financial and safety risk as a husband and father. But like you, I feel there has to be something in a man’s life that is his that brings him joy and motorcycling is one of those things I wanted to have for me. When I am happy and healthy, it makes me a better friend, co-worker, husband, father, brother , son etc.
Mental health is so incredibly important. I feel like more people need to see this video. I almost considered not replacing my Triumph when I sell it soon, since motorcycling is dangerous. But you hit the nail on the head that you can slow down and manage the risks (I already do that) and can enjoy a hobby that has wonderful benefits to your mental, and physical wellness. It’s not necessarily irresponsible. It can be the right choice for many of us. You’ve got to pin this or highlight it somehow. I got diagnosed with Adult ADHD last year and dealt with some anxiety and depression and this is really helpful. Thanks so much. I look forward to supporting Big Rock Moto when I get my first ADV Bike (still deciding). - Aaron
thanks for sharing.
Ian, your story was very compelling.
With our first "little dude" on the way, the thoughts of "hanging it up" have been spiraling out of control in my head. To be fortunate enough to have been on a bike since childhood, it feels ignorant to merely delete this hobby I find so much joy in. Especially when the wife voices some serious concerns on letting go of our "rocket ship".
The condescending, frugal, inner-critical voices I hear (in my mind) driving me to sell the bike, tend to come from those particular people in my life who'll never understand the true joy of motorcycling, much less the dire importance of personal mental health.
It will be an absolute honor to hand this passion down to my son one day.
Thanks for putting all of this into such a wonderful video format brother, ride on!🤟
My dad was a big sailer and would be gone for the whole summer. I think it made him a better dad, and I never held it against him. Later, as we got older, dad did include us both on trips and working on the boats. One of many great gifts my dad gave me was to let me work on his boats. Kids are like dogs, they don't care, just as long as they're loved and get included from time to time. Dude, same here, that was my first bike at the age of 11. My sister worked at a bank and got it for me, it was a repo. I LOVED that bike. I'm single and don't have or want kids, and at 65 I'm so past that.
This kind of content really gives your channel a type of backbone others lack - thank you..
I’m so glad i found your video. I had to sell my bike about a year ago for financial reasons, my wife and 2 kids felt bad I had to sell it but they always hated that i rode. I miss it so much every day. I read/watch/listen to so much about motorcycles which only makes me want one more, i love everything about riding a motorcycle. The amount of fear and anxiety my family has always made me feel guilty for riding. I wore full gear, have life insurance and ride pretty conservatively, as you said this is no guarantee of safety but I do what i can to mitigate. i’m so conflicted with my family’s resistance and my love for riding. We’re doing a little better financially to where I can get a bike in a few months, I’m just not sure if it’ll cause too much conflict. Do
I ask permission to do it or forgiveness after i bring one home. 🤔 Thank you for the honest sincere video, it’s beautiful.
Rode as a teenager and later in my late 20's for commuting (Riding 250 cc and below) Was a purely practical means of transport. Didn't really get the motorcycling "thing" until my very late 40's after marriage and kids. Bought a 650 Suzuki Vstrom, biggest bike I had ever ridden. The guy I bought it off followed me half way home because he was concerned with my lack of practice. My kids were 9 and 13 at the time. Had a mortgage free house and the wife agreed to the purchase as it would be a "business expense" (My excuse) . Seeked advanced rider training after several incidences that should have been non events with the right training. 7 years later, I ride a Vstrom 1000 and I am coaching other riders up to the standard I was taught to (iam.org.nz). So look to upskill any activity you choose to partake in, not necessarily motorcycling. That's the best you can do. I could be skydiving (which I have done) or other "risky" activity's, but I almost always ride like I want to get home safely at the end of the day, (but to be honest, not always). Do that for any other activity you do outside your family unit. Don't feel guilty.
I’m a 34 year old father of 4. This hit home on every base you covered. 6 years ago I ended up hospitalized with diverticulitis. I still have the disease, I regularly get sick with it and battle that, depression also has been a periodic issue. Riding has been an awesome therapy to balance it all, work, parenting, being a good husband. I’m purchasing my first GS and love your channel. Thank you for sharing
thanks for sharing
My daughter is almost two years old and I was thinking "now I sell the bike to be a good father instead". I'm glad I did not. Raising kids is fun but also takes a lot of energy. Riding motorcycle helps me to recharge energy so I can actually be a better father. Of course I can not do as long trips or as often as before but it does not matter. I think about risks, cost and time a lot so I have to limit where I ride and how I ride to not get into accidents. Avoiding traffic, highways and riding with proper safety gear have made riding even more fun and made me explore areas I would not do. Then you have the social factor that meeting other riders is also important when having kids and family you need to meet other people. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and ride safe!
Been ridding since the summer of 84, got married in 88 have had 2 children been ridding throughout on several different bikes. Put a bike down on a low side crash at 55mph in 05 coming home from work at 11:30 pm I didn’t get a scratch! Wife freaked out, but she got over it and I’m still ridding to work rain or shine! Ridding is a peaceful and calming thing for me I love it! I currently ride a 2015 klr 650 old school and slow like me!
thanks for posting
Great discussion of something I've thought about a lot in the last few years. I totally agree about all the points... mental health issues, following your passion not to resent your family, weighing the risks of biking vs other things we do on a daily basis, and riding safely due to the responsibility you have as a father and husband. Thanks again!
thanks
Before entering any relationship I made absolutely clear that my hobby will stay. I understand people that do not want their partners to ride motorcycles but in this case I would not be the right person anyway for them.
I told my wife that when we got together. Great point.
One of the best videos I've ever seen, I definitely agree with also being key to taking care of yourself and do what makes you happy, riding is super important for those of us who love riding, keep riding safely for many more years to come. Thank you sharing!.
Totally agree!
Thank you for opening up. Great to get to know you better. You are one of us with problems, challengers and accomplishments Great video.
Ian. Your very strong to share this. Thank you. I stopped riding for 23 years. Didn't live vicariously through my sons lives. But did become richer. By becoming a black belt, a Scout master a coach, chauffer, etc. While my other friends kept riding. I was always too busy. I played golf, etc. But like others said: Didn't ring the bell for me. When I turned 50. I said to my family. Well kids, you know who your old man is. So if I don't make it. ?? so be it. Dad's buying a dirt bike. KTM500. My wife said, "about time!" I raced that bike, dual-sported. And this summer. I soloed the TAT. My advice. ** don't stop riding!** I wasn't resentful or angry. But looking back. I would have been a better example of a dad. By doing family things and taking time out to do things that meant a lot to me. Living fully.
I'm a relatively new fan of yours Ian, you've put yourself out there in this video, respect to you for doing that. I rode a lot in my younger years but hung up my riding boots for different reasons, also raising two children and going through a divorce and my truck driving career pretty much occupied my time. 4 years ago at the age of 53 I got back into motorcycling and I have been enjoying my weekend Escapes ever since. Extremely therapeutic for me at this point in my life
thanks for sharing
Thanks Ian. I have thoroughly enjoyed your videos because of your thorough rider's perspective and technical rigor. But this video was excellent in a totally different way. Thank you for being vulnerable in sharing your struggles and how this relates to why motorcycling is important to you. I have 2 friends with Crohn's disease, so I've seen some of how tough it is and mental health challenges are the hardest of all. I'm just thrilled that this planet has a guy like you overcoming his challenges to add value to your family, friends and the motorcycle community. Keep it up! I think your perspective in this video is excellent and as a father of four kids, who rides a motorcycle, flies a hang-glider and does ocean swims, I feel the same sobriety about risks and the need to mitigate risk as much as possible, but also the critical need to live life abundantly and thereby be all you can be and share all the resulting joy with others. All power and respect to you. And kudos to you for honouring your wife in this video.
thank you
I’m 59 and have been riding for over 40 years in No Cal. I have a 20 yr old son and a great wife that never guilt trips me regarding my adventures aboard my orange bikes. I do, however shoulder a bit of guilt every time a throw a leg over my bike. Should I be riding, what if? I am in my 30 th yr of a stressful job that consumes the better part of my being. My conclusion is summed up in your comment “ sitting on the couch is dangerous too”. I need to ride, it makes me a better dad, a better husband, a better friend, and better at my career. The self reflection, appreciation of nature, and thankfulness gained from riding simply cannot be replicated. I try to mitigate the risk by using my head, and I have slowed down over the last 7 years as my body and mind slowly degrade. This applies to many things in my life, cars, snowboarding, etc. My mantra is “ check your ego at the door” . For me, it has now become a marathon. I ride for no one but myself, I try to impress no one, I simply ride in a fashion that will allow me to ride tomorrow. If I wake up tomorrow with terminal cancer, I will look back on the time I have spent with friends in the saddle as some of the most meaningful in my life, a close second to raising my son with an amazing wife. Your videos are fantastic and bearing your sole takes guts. Thank you!
thanks for sharing. ride safe.
I’m so glad to find this video. In the past 6 years my wife and I have had 4 amazing kids. I’ve gone from surfing daily, gym 3 times a week and riding every weekend to surfing twice a year, not gone to the gym in 5 years and sold my bike. My health has deteriorated and I’m in the worst shape of my life. I bought a bike two months ago because it’s all I think about. It’s my ‘happy place’ (in addition to my family). I’m now trying to balance a life where I can be me again AND raise my family.
thanks for sharing
Interesting subject and I think fathers can relate including myself. Im 44 with 2 boys 4 and 8. I started riding at 21 and was hooked from the first day. It was a big part of my life up until I had kids. Being a father takes time and resources something has to give. My life changed big time and the re adjustment is huge. I have suffered from depression and have had days where you just can't see your life returning to where you have time to tinker and do your hobbies. It is a hard pill to swallow and has played on my mind and if I'm honest resentment has creep in very much at times. I still ride, just nowhere near as much as I would like and to be honest I am just so tired sometimes and other things require more attention and priority. That is also the cycle of life. Last weekend I took my 8 year old for his first big ride on the back with me and he loved it. I can see as my kids get older with more independance my bike time will slowly return. I also want to take my sons camping and adventure riding so I would like to buy a new Yamaha Tenere 700 this year. Enjoy the time with your kids and appreciate your free time to explore. My wife is supportive of me riding which helps and I think you just have to remember that there are little ones at home waiting for you to return that depend on you a great deal. Ride to survive and have fun. With my job so close to home I have a 10 minute ride which I enjoy and it's almost meditative, just a brief ride which puts a smile on my face. Great channel and keep up the great work. All the best from Sydney, Australia
thanks for sharing
Love your channel and have been watching for a while but skipped over this video several times because I do not have children and am unmarried. But wow, am I glad I finally did watch it! I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease at age 24 (I am now 47) and I am also very thankful for it. It lit a big fire under my arse to really get into health and nutrition and as a result I am the healthiest I hav ever been and arguable the healthiest in my family. I also have an ileostomy, which really makes pooping in the woods a piece of cake! I see it as a convenience when I am ADV riding off road. I am pleased to say I am RX free and stay in remission with a grain and legume free whole foods diet of plants (cooked veg and raw fruits) and animals. Anyway, I totally have an added respect and connection with you after seeing this video. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for this Ian. I'm struggling with the same thinking now. Sold my beloved dual purpose in 2020, after only two years of riding (started mid thirties), using money, time, and family responsibilities as the reason. I miss it and think about it daily, and catch all your videos, MADTVs vids, Fortnine, etc.... haven't forgotten and why the heck do I still watch the videos. I know quite a few people who had unfortunate accidents and lost their lives on the bike. But all were road/hwy etc. My logic now is that I still need it for mental health, with a demanding job, and despite activites with the kids and wife (canoeing, hiking, biking, camping, shooting etc.)...I think there's a need out there have something that you do, solo, that's challenging and rewarding. I have an ATV, but that's just not the same... there's no challenge, no feedback reward. My argument with myself now is that I can pick up another dual purpose, and only do pavement riding to access trails near the town, thus reducing risk and still getting out to ride....