Dear Future Wifey Podcast 107: Purpose vs Preference (Rickyl Wesson)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 พ.ย. 2024
- When choosing a love interest, do you ever consider purpose versus your preference? Do you really know what is important to you? What if it's not wrapped in your preferred appearance. Let’s challenge our pickers on today’s episode as Rickyl Wesson takes the hot seat and shares how she chooses who to give her attention to.
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I never cared about having a "fine" guy because I believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The only preference I have is having a black man who is family oriented, prayer warrior, provider,protector.
But he gotta at least look decent lol
@@kingdomaffairs2373 of course but for me when I am with a man he is so fine can't no body tell me otherwise lol.
college grad absolutely girl..your man will always be sexy to you no matter what
Axzrd.ep
Well I believe that God will give you your heart desires I've been listening to and I pray for hh
I am amazed at the criticism she is receiving about a good looking man. Men do this ALL the time! Men pass up good women all of the time! They will choose a woman with no character with nothing going on over a woman who is wonderful and full of favor.
Exactly.
Amen! There's a guy who I have known most of my life, as a friend only, now he's pursuing me-AFTER he went for his choice of body shapes and bad treatment.. Now he's "all in love" (right") and wants the good woman, pretty & solid.. I am not willing to give him a chance
Amen. And I’m so unbothered by their comments. lol.
I share in her believe that God can send you a good looking man that loves Him also, then so be it. I'm believing for one myself because that is what I desire. He can do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask or think.
I think it has become the expectation that if most men had to chose between their purpose mate who may not look like a celebrity, but may have all that he needs to take him to the next level, he will choose the fine sista. In no way are we expecting women to react the same. Yes I commend her for her transparency & the fact that she loves herself a fine brother but let me tell you purpose is different. Not everyone gets that. She seems to be on a journey to that place and let me tell you I won't be surprised if her husband is not as fine as a Krispy Kreme donut after a diet and she will be deeply in love with him! Lol I mean God really does have a sense of humor.
That prayer based upon pain/trauma part...a gem!!
I’m 4yrs late watching this episode 🤭 but enjoyed how LRW and Rickyl were comfortable enough with one another to kept it 100%. Discernment and wise stewardship should play a big role when we utilize the “purpose over preference” navigation system in the dating streets. I just learned a big lesson on this in my personal dating life. Anyhoo, it would be nice to get an update on how Rickyl is doing! Also, I like how LRW spun the definition of “catching flights not feelings” at 28:19 👏🏾👏🏾
I have a friend who prayed for a VERY specific woman (a Gabriel Union type).. Fast forward he met an absolutely gorgeous lady that was everything he prayed for... and they've been happily married now for many years. People like what they like.
I absolutely loved this episode. I’m at the same point where my wants and desires and prayers are no longer birthed out of previous traumas. Keep up the good work
❤️❤️
Wasn't that so powerful?
Dear Future Wifey definitely and it shows maturity and care about her future and her future spouse. Once we stop praying based on traumas we learn not to respond to our loved ones out of our traumatic triggers but from a perspective of being whole. That way you are only managing the emotions from the present relationship.
She was awesome in sharing and being transparent and honest. She will meet Him.
I love her transparency... we all feel this way and need to be REAL.
She sounds just like K MICHELLE vocally and in her mentality,she favors her also.
Agreed!!
YezzzzZzzZz Sissy 🤦🏽♀️💃🏾she Does sound Like K Michelle Indeed 💫
Lol! I get this a lot
This is so true. She has low self esteem. Needs therapy.
@@franjohnson6140 you are so far off! I do go to counseling but the low self esteem part... try again and resubmit your answer
A God fearing Man ... a Man that loves God more than me not just me, loves God more than his Mother. If Mama dislikes me, her son looks past her opinions and rest on the Fact that God lead him to me. Communication is a MUST as well. Your so right to tell her ... That’s It... everything she mentioned was it. When you get all that, loyalty..God fearing... etc... everything else will fall into place. That’s why we must start with the Kingdom FIRST, then everything else In life will line up.
@keiaJohn4:15 YES!!! Kingdom FIRST!!
This is so good. She makes me think of the list of qualities and characteristics that we pray for in a mate. We tend to ask for those things based off what we want at present.
A wise woman once said that lists can be limiting, and to simply ask God to help you choose because He knows not only what we want/need right now, but also what we'll want/need 10 to 20 years from now. I'm learning that being mindful of our wording is so essential.
She's so self aware, and that's really amazing. I love her spirit and openness. Loved the episode 👌
HAVING A MAN WHO WILL PROTECT YOUR HEART ...AND HONOR AND RESPECT YOU..
That's very true with the Always Love.... Must be careful with the intent behind the TYPE of love you are holding. You're speaking of making room and being available in your heart. I get it Sir!
Love this podcast. Praying for my purpose over preference as well. I believe we really dont even know what our ideal man is until we actually meet him and realize our purposes match.
Yep true
Its interesting how many people get married who know they shouldn't get marry.
I so agree
A lot I did it and regretted it.
Yes this is the third video I have watched where someone stated on their wedding day that they knew they should not have married the person 🤔🙄🤦🏿♀️
That’s a fact! Just to say they were married. Being single is still viewed as being less than a woman.
Absolutely, I'm in that number as well. It wasn't for the sake of being married,but it was for fear of backing out after moving so far forward.
Love the transparency and sense of humor. 😂
She's brave bc she was honest and very vulnerable. Good stuff❤❤
I was listening to a message one time and says the ones that may not be your type may be the right one for you and would treat you like a queen and all and lots of people was saying that my husband of 10-15 years wasn’t my type but he was everything I’ve ever wanted and more
This was really good! Making me reflect over my failed marriage and making more purposeful prayers. I like that she is aware that she is not ready, yet. She is beautiful. Wishing her the best!
Glad it caused reflection.
I find that a great point.... always saying you will always have a “love” for someone, could cause your new partner to compete with a ghost....
I am very impressed by her transparency. Let's be real ladies she's keeping it funky real. She's a beautiful woman in a beautiful space. Even if she can't help what she wants at least she can acknowledge her short comings. This level of self awareness will allow God to move in her life. ❤
Yeah, she's pretty dope!
Thank you!
I agree wholeheartedly. Transparency and self-awareness allows the Holy Spirit to breathe into our daily lives.
I could listen to this girl all day... loved her humility.
Thank you!!!! I appreciate it
@@rickylwesson7309 Agree!....REAL TALK, AUTHENTIC - one of his best podcast
@@brightmeadow1880 thank you!!
Great episode! Love Rickyl's honesty and transparency! I agree with the host that we have to be careful with our words...I will always love him is a verbal agreement. The enemy hears it and can use it to bring a familiar spirit on the scene. Whatever is said after I am and I will is gonna come looking for you! When we do it it important to come out of agreement with those word covenants, never statements and I wills.
That's real. We gotta be careful about declarations. Thank you for watching.
I agree with this, I have a person in my heart that I may always feel that love for him but I would never give him the stronghold over me of saying "I will always love you"even though he's said I could never be done with him which is a lie because I blocked him from all resources to get in touch with me because I'm starting believe since I started counseling that he's manipulative and stringing me along.
I dare to believe that because you have honored God with your desire for purpose over preference that he is going to give you both. She will truly be, bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.
This was so good! “Prayers from a place of pain and not from purposed brought me my last mate as well. Much more careful and specific with my prayers now!! 🔥🔥🔥
Loved loved her ... thank you both for this episode. God bless you.
My my my linking up with the right person at the right TIME.🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I’m so in love with this channel! Your guest on this show was so amazing & transparent! I love her spirit! Please bring some more brothers on your show we are needing the encouragement to know that there are still some REAL BROTHERS out here❤️🙏🏽
After going through so much in past relationships God is literally going to have to get my attention in a major way to let me know this man is my husband...
Rickyl you are so transparent. Whether you know it or not you are a blessing. Keep dropping those gems hun. Counseling is helping, keep pushing.
Yep, she's pretty amazing.
Thank you!!
Some podcast episodes deserve a second, and often a third look. The first time I watched it, it was within the first hours of it airing and I chuckled all the way through it. I wrote a response and received a response from Rickyl and DFW. A few weeks later, I deleted that comment. Not my most shining moment, but a reminder to take a closer look nevertheless.
This is my second and third time watching this episode. And I am so thankful for second opportunities. This time, I paid more attention to what Rickyl shared. This time, I took note of this beautiful, talented, gifted, sophisticated, and goal-driven woman who loves God so much that she is willing to wait for exactly what she asked for...and expecting to receive just that! Yes, she has her preferences, like most women do, but the growth she displays when talking about the purpose of the man God is preparing just for her is eye opening. Her openness and willingness to share about past relationships, as well as being vulnerable to offer insight on her part in the breakups, inspires me to dig deeper.
As I watched, I marveled at how such and beautiful and poised woman was experiencing many of the same things that I have faced. Surely, her inbox is flooded and her date night calendar is full. Unlike my dry desert 🏜 of an inbox and nonexistent calendar. (I am actually not sad about that one bit, because I AM NOT READY!!). Yet, she is taking time to heal and work on herself. She is excelling at being a mom and leading a middle school in excellence as a principle. All while waiting on God to mold her man of purpose with a bonus dash of her preference. Inspiring.
Thank you Rickyl for your openness and transparency. You inspire me to greatness!
I like what she said about praying the opposite of past traumas.
I’m team counseling doing it now. And purpose outweighs preference . But I do understand that it is important to be attracted to your mate.
This gives me life. I am in the same season where I am praying for purpose over preference.
That’s POWERFUL 💥💥transparent statement!
Great conversation. She was funny and helped change my perspective on not Praying from my pain but for my Purpose.
Men I love this show, so real and transparent looking forward to seeing what the brothers have to say, we need shows like this.
You can love someone and not be with them! EVER AGAIN!
Ooh yes... we fall for potential most of the time🙈. We seem to see guys beyond what they are. We see the whole future and who they can be. We get hurt because he has not gotten to that point yet and might never get there. 💔
This was a fun show to watch. She was honest and you don’t find that a lot. I pray God will send her exactly what she asked for and more. We all deserve someone who will love us, accept us, protect us, cover us spiritually and financially, comfort us and play as well as laugh with us. God sees and knows what each and every person needs and I truly believe, He will allow us to have that, if it’s His will and desire for us to be married one day.
I loved how this episode had so many "nuggets" to glean from regarding the challenges that many single/unmarried people struggle with in dating. Rickyl (l love your name), I absolutely loved your candor in sharing what many of us experience. I can relate!!! What resonated with you during this episode, was how challenging it is to trust that God knows what we like (our preferences/desires) because He created us. That can bring peace to enjoy the process. He's got it covered. Rickyl...you're just dope!!
Thank you so much!!
I remember when my ex proposed to me, I knew he wasn't it. I couldn't marry. I'm let him go a couple months later. Marrying him would have ended in divorce.
Truth!
I TOTALLY understand.
I refused to marry my ex fiancé because I KNEW it wouldn’t be long before I would be begging God to release me from this tragic situation. I’m so grateful God allowed me to admit that he wasn’t for me and that I can’t make decisions based on loneliness, past trauma, sympathy for his past, or his “potential.”
First, God continue to bless this brother and this podcast. Such great value in the content you produce. The title of this one hits home for me. I thank you for shining light on this topic and all points that support it. ✌🏾
I appreciate that
Oooo I appreciate the realness in this episode. I love her name, Rickyl and unique spelling. Liked the honesty and transparency. Listen I know we have all picked someone based on appearance, it’s natural and normal. No one wants to be with someone they are not attracted to. I hear you lady. Love the bits of wisdom and growth that come from relationships.
Great episode! She is so real! 'Love it!
This is my first podcast listen of your show. I must say I'm here for it. I need to finally make use to all of these happy planners I have. The Dear future wife letter is great.
Thanks
We have all had our moments. It is good that she is getting counseling, and that she is willing to speak her truth openly. For me I can see a guy whether they are what people call nice looking or not, and I would not be faded by it. I think it is because I have been through so much. So for me if I even decide to let a guy in my main focus is on taking things extremely slow. If they are just playing games or whatever. They will remove themselves from your life rather quickly. I sense a bit of immaturity in her, and a lot of people when it comes to a romantic relationship. I'm not trying to insult anyone, but that is what I see. You can learn a lot about a person if you just sit and listen to them talk.
I appreciate her honesty.Lots of reprogramming is required. Dont care how good he looks he must meet good man qualities character. He must be able to give you the relationship you want. Looks wont sustain or keep you fufilled. After hi babe then listen, observe him.
I stumble on your TH-cam channel. She has spoken upon many women issues. Let's make this clear it's not an age it's a heart thing. Love it transparency is everything
You Got Me this time. Am I going to hold out for my preference or am I going to allow God to fulfill His purpose for my life? I feel like I'm torn on this one. But, ultimately I'll have to let God have his way. 🤷🏾♀️
It's definitely a struggle. I'm there with you.
I believe I just got a free,fun, honest conversation counseling session. This was so perfect. Thank you.🙏🏽💕
Thank you Felicia for watching
This was good to see. I’m
Glad you were gently checking her on the things that sounded crazy
Hey! I’m all here for it! We all prob sound crazy a time or two a day 🤷🏾♀️
I totally Sympathize with her she openly admitted she’s working on it and that’s all that matters!!! #SelfWork #G.O.A.L.S.... one day at a time
Im so glad you said that WE HAVE TO STOP MAKING COVENANT PROMISES WITH PPL,and expect GOD to give us his best when your committed to someone else already. Soul Ties are real and can be unhealthy and treacherous to your life.
I Looooved it!! This was SO relatable and real, the transparency is VERY nice.
Thaaaank you!!!!
Thank you for your continued support.
I believe the reason why you got to a point where you did not say anything anymore it’s because there’s nothing else to say..and you stopped caring because we only fought for what we love and still want..once you don’t want them anymore you stopped fighting! Periodt
Now watching. Great so far. I'm with you girl. Choosing purpose this time round.
Laterras got me ready to write letters to my future hubby after every episode I watch! Lol think I’m gonna do just that
This was another great interview. I’m new to the channel and the content is refreshing so far. Her experience is relatable.
Glad you enjoyed it!
I truly enjoyed Rickly energy and transparency. God’s Purpose over my Preference. 💯❤️
Thank you!!
Thank you!!
Amen God choice
I’m with you. God he don’t have to be fine, fine but please don’t let me get cross eyed looking at him. Lol.
suzlan2 Lol you know 😂
She is the epitome of growing in love. Awesome show.
Thank you so much
That's deep, "I will ALWAYS love..." That is a huge and great perspective!
💛Enjoyed this one on my jog today! #REALTALKWithRickyl!🙌🏾
Another great one LRW!!
Thanks Wendy!
I love the letters that share your heart at the end of the podcast!
Love her vibe and transparency! Definitely can relate! 💖
I think she should have let him finish when he was speaking about giving someone a pass when we are speaking of fighting for a relationship. I think women need to learn how to listen more. Women have learned how to be verbal, but at times we haven't learned how to listen correctly. And men generally don't know how to ve verbal. They may hear you, but not be able to articulate themselves correctly.
Yes. And we want so much to get our points out that we sometimes do not listen to his thoughts or his heart.
I’m sure he would love to finish 😉
@@ms.lisabailey1491 Yes. I totally agree. It is challenging for me even more so because of who I know God called me to be. A few gentlemen had said to me in a polite manner. That it would be beneficial if I learned how to speak to me a man in a respectful manner, and if I learn how to listen and not respond so quickly. We all need to mature and grow one way or another. God bless you all in Jesus name. Amen.
@@ladennayoung2939 If I am excited, and I am safe with the person, then I will be having a free speech. But if it is the opposite, I will be more quiet, listen to you to ensure that my response is safe and protects me.
I think that's one of mens major complaints. Not being heard, we won't listen!
I really enjoyed this podcast & loved the transparency!.
Thank you. We keep it L.I.T.
Your manifestation letters are everything!!👌🏾❤
Thanks, Paige. I bleed on every one.
@@DearFutureWifey It shows!
I really enjoyed this video. This channel has popped up in my feed many times, but this is my first time watching and I really enjoyed the content. TFS.
I appreciate that
For 2 are better than one 😇. Continuing to choose God's purpose over my preference. Have your way Lord 🙏. Thanks for sharing 💞
I can relate to Rickyl in being misjudged and misunderstood. People take my kindness for weakness. I judge no one and I genuinely love everyone. I’m quiet unless I have something to say. When my energy is matched I have alot to say. People cannot read me so they come up with their own conclusions based on previous life experiences. Which is natural but I guess that’s Gods way of protecting me from people that don’t have any specific purpose in my life . When people talk to me they get a completely different impression. People judge based on their own life experiences. I always give the benefit of doubt until proven otherwise because I have met some amazing people that way. As far as a partner, I’ve completely surrendered that part to God. I’ve been married and divorced 3 times. The 3 were long term so I was married most of my adult life. My forever husband will be my last and God ordained so when and if he shows up I will be informed. If not I’m grateful to have healed to the point that I don’t have to repeat old lessons. Love is patient. If I don’t have the patience to wait on God than I don’t have the patience to sustain forever. So I surrender to Him completely in my waiting period. Great conversation. Yet again.
Stop looking & truly Wait so that you can get filled with all the love you need!! God will send him!
Yep. Sometimes we just need to grow and mature in Him first.
The laughter on "Could he get you back?"
I was laughing to keep from going “there”. Lol
Wow I’m telling you girl we are the same way! Definitely FORGIVENESS BECAUSE EVERY DAY WE ARE GOING TO GET ON EACH OTHERS NERVES AND YOU WILL DO SOMETHING AND I WILL DO SOMETHING TO YOU AS WELL AND STILL FORGIVENESS COMES HANDY ANd we both truly forgive each other and MOVE ON!!
bring her on as a co-host.!
Ayyyyyeree
This reminds me of a Facebook post I made, WILL IT BE PASSION or PURPOSE when finding a mate....
"When she says, I cant wait to get home-I believe her" LMBO #GOALS :)
Loved this episode. Rickyl’s transparency was awesome!
It really is a difference between being “in love” which could be I love through the good and bad and “loving someone” which for me is I can tolerate you but I’m not in love with you.
Love this. Rickyl, your transparency was everything.
Thank you love!!
I love her openness and authenticity
So very proud of you Rickyl! I needed this! 🥰
That doesn't sound like love. That sounds like a soul tie. There in the danger lies🙏🏾
No more passes for me! Exactly we KNOW WHAT PURSUE LOOKS LIKE FOR REAL!!!!
The "Manifestation part" gets me EVERY TIME!!
This was really good!!!!!! I agree with the statement of the saying "I'll always love him/her" that is a set up mentally. Also yes I totally agree having a man who loves and adores you is so special and top it off y'all both can't wait to see each other at the end of the day. Lastly your ending letter was Great!! #catchflightsnotfeelings #frfr 🤞🏽❤
Thank you so much.
We can’t always love someone and be committed to the one God has sent!
It's the residue of past relationships that drift into a current relationship and leaves dust bunnies that create "allergies" that could end a current relationship.
Wow... Prayer based on Pain - not PURPOSE!!! She just spoke/wrote an entire book. Spiritually sound.
Thank you 🦋
She on point with everything
Gave me chills
Truly enjoyed this podcast. Can relate to a lot of what she said.
Loved this episode Whitfield! And Yes bring K. Burton on here
Love her transparency🤗
Enjoyed this 😊
That's not personality, that's carnality when it comes to your preference
Oh my goodness. Your letter gave me goosebumps.
I like how she took accountability for her choices
She is speaking about not only herself, but for millions of women AND men. My male friend is a head-turner and when we were young and trying to date, too many other women became involved and he had literally nothing. It took me about a month and decided all we could be were friends, maybe. We became the best of friends and still are after 45 years! He says now he has learned that looks aren’t everything, yet he still allows himself to be put in commitment after commitment because SHE wants him. He wants her for convenience. He always did like the easy way. But the price he has paid over the years, has been and is costly, yet he doesn’t believe so. And I can’t tell him this because it offends him. His current mark is a woman who fell for him 30 years ago although during that time she was married. After his 15 year relationship ended, there she was; like a nest on the ground and there he was; jumping in. Four years later, he’s still there and they are pretend playing husband and wife.
Ms. Wesson is right. Just because it comes back around doesn’t mean it’s going to be around, especially as we age. My friend said he’s getting counseling and I hate to ask him just what he’s telling him/her, but it’s not working because counseling is private and he’s not allowing himself to heal. He did say he was seeking counseling for three loses in his life ; one a friend, a brother and someone else. As a behavioral scientist, I believe he can’t handle loss so he uses these women as cushions as to not experience the loss and heal THEN move on. Of course she said she can help him through his pain. She’s making it worst and I see it in his behavior everyday (we talk or text everyday due to our physical distance (I’m in a nearby state.) Again, I just sit back and pray, not only for him but for all of the women who hearts he has broken and will continue to break if he doesn’t stop his reckless behavior.
Purpose is the preference!
When you are in a dark place sugar may appear as salt , that responsibility is our bad choice , I have dated previous partners that would be classed as very plain looks wise , I was interested in their personality , however personality does not mean good character , and that goes for men or women,
If you can’t have love for an ex especially if their was no abuse , you are not free situations may change, but real affection never dies .
Ms Wesson thanks for your expressions, on relationships .
DFW
I think that people are only upset by other people's preferences when they realize they arent the preference.