God bless that girl and her family who took you in and supported you when you first left. I hope they know what a huge impact they had on your life and future. To be willing to help 3 random boys no questions asked....the world needs more people like that.
Are we ever going to get to meet your brother, friend and the kind family that originally helped you three boys out? Those would be amazing interviews!
I think it's important to remember that it's easier for boys to leave the FLDS because most of them have resources, a vehicle, a means to earn an income, contacts in the "outside" world. And they also aren't a commodity, like the girls. When you have a culture where men are encouraged to marry multiple women, you will always have men around who can't find a wife because some other dude has five. So the boys in this church are almost encouraged to leave because it means there's one less man to compete with for the limited number of available girls.
Yes and don’t have so many children or younger siblings that they used to take care of. Bun now nobody is getting married or having kids as far as I understand uncle Warren
This is actually a common thing in polygamist cults. Sometimes they just kick the boys out for very minor offenses just to eliminate competition for women. I forgot the name of it, but there was one cult in Florida, where boys were typically kicked out at the age of 16 to get rid of competition.
Sometimes don't these FLDS orders toss the young men out because the old guys don't want competition among the young women for their wives? Aren't they known as Lost Boys in SLC and just beyond The Crick?
This is a very interesting story. I left JWs and although I had worked for years with non JWs, I didn't have anyone who knew what I was going through losing my family and friends as I was never allowed to speak to anyone who had left before and thus lost touch with anyone else. Plus when you are JW you are not allowed to build friendships outside the religion (very similar) so I just started my life from scratch at 24. It's definitely weird not having any family and friends and starting out fresh. I don't know how I came across your videos but I see a lot of similarities and can relate to starting new. You look like you have adjusted well and it's nice to see that. Keep posting it's very educational.
This is a remarkable story.......the reason why you boys were successful in your exit was primarily due to your job skills in construction. This is why it is possible for FLDS boys to leave while girls find it very difficult since they will typically not have a readily marketable job skill to enable their exit. In fact, you may have covered the topic of FLDS girls leaving the community (I have not as yet watched all your videos)....but if you have not covered that subject, it would be of great interest to your viewers. I and all your viewers find the videos immensely interesting and I applaud your work. It takes a STRONG AND TALENTED person to accomplish what you have since your departure.
It’s also why women struggle to leave abusive relationships especially if they’ve been stay at home mothers for any amount of time or had to give up their education.
I became interested in and began researching polygamy and Joseph Smith after watching sister wives. So far I found that not all polygamists live the pretty lives of the show- And that 11 of Joseph Smith's wives were married to other men . I truly appreciate your videos. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us. You are such an adorable couple.
I would absolutely love to know more about this, and I would be interested to hear from the family Sam initially stayed with. Had they taken in former FLDS folks before? Have they done it again since? What was it like from their perspective helping these three boys get out of the FLDS and into the world?
That is a great idea! I have tried to respect their privacy as much as possible throughout this, but I'll reach out and see if that is something that they are open to! =)
She says your mom must have been worried that you weren’t safe at the same time he said she was worried you would leave the religion! Goes to show the difference in your upbringing.
Absolutely. By our standard of "safety" -- which she certainly must have perceived even on an unarticulated level -- he was already so much safer than she was. He'd been able to move about safely, he could leave without threat of physical harm, and he could return and "talk it over" safely.
It is amazing how you made it through all of this. And went on to be educated and continue on with your life. From other blogs you have done I know you loved your family and respected your parents. That had to be a very hard decision.
This channel is doing great things! Keep on talking, don’t stop, the FLDS needs, at least, to know what their choices are in life, as well as any high demand religion or group, including mainstream LDS
First of all. Loved this video. I kinda think it was a blessing in disguise that you left at such a young age. Your brain weren't fully developed at the time. Furthermore you were at the age were you'd be prone to make in the moment decisions without fully being able to really comprehend and process the consequences at the same time. If you were 5-8 years older, chances are you'd over analyze your choices and their consequences and end up not leaving. Clearly you've found happiness outside the FLDS and it's so nice to see that. ☺️
Are u guys still going to do a video on the rules that changed when Warren became prophet & how Sam’s dad was taken away from his family? Would love to hear that story!
Sam, you are so so sober, sensitive, greatful person. The way you look at Melissa, your eyes speak tour love for her. I believe you are a very compassionate empathetic person
I just love your videos. I love that you are so respectful of your parents and your former life and it is so nice to get a glimpse into your journey. I hope you keep these videos coming. I look forward to each new one coming out. You are both adorable.
This was such an interesting video!! The mother in me was so concerned about your mother! Just can't imagine how worried she must have been, however... thank goodness for you guys that you were supported so well by your "adopted" family!! I kept thinking just how wonderful they are!! Unconditional support and love!! Their actions of support warmed my heart!!! Thank you for sharing!!!
I would love to see a part 2, I'm always so curious about the details. Thank you so much for sharing your story! TBH I would watch a whole series of them going up to present day.
I recently found your channel and have enjoyed learning so much about the culture you grew up in. Thanks for being so open, matter of fact, and sharing your life story!
Love the channel! Id love to hear the compare and contrast in being raised lds vs flds. Also you guys would make a great podcast in my opinion, very easy to listen to.
That is a great video idea! And thank you! We have considered it, but honestly don't even know how to start a podcast. hahaha We will have to look into it!
So glad to see you guys posted a video! The bravery you guys had at that age is so remarkable. I’m so glad that you guys had the courage to leave. Do you keep in touch with everyone that was there for you in the beginning of your journey?
Thank you! The family that I stayed with that first night are family now. I am so lucky to have them and have continued to have their love and support ever since that first night.
So I found your channel yesterday and I’m hooked! Binge watched all your videos in 2 days! So interesting hearing the stories from someone who lived it. Also, so happy you are out and have found happiness. Can’t wait for future videos to watch 😃 much love from British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦
In essence the church and your family made the decision. The family choose to break ties. I can’t imagine choosing FLDS over my children. But when you know better you do better.The support was God letting you know that good exist despite what you were taught. Sam God ordered your steps. What you three experienced after leaving was God’s hand. I am not highly religious and I felt his presence in your life.
You are a lovely inspirational couple! You also have a powerful ministry to help others who are trapped in the FLDS & are afraid to make a move away from them. You have a real story to tell & I would love reading your book if you ever decided to write one! God loves you! God bless you both!
Do you still remain in contact with the girl and her family that you stayed with originally? Y’all were so lucky to have that family to help you out in the beginning. Have you been able to see your Mom very much since leaving?
The family that I stayed with originally has become my family. I am soo lucky to have them and they have continued to be my biggest support since the first night I left. Unfortunately, I have not been able to see my biological Mother in almost 10 years.
I’d really love to know what weddings were like before Warren took over and after he took over in the FLDS church (before they were stopped) and how it compared to your own wedding in the LDS church. Also, if there are any things about your own wedding you would go back and change if you could. Love your videos. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
I live on the east coast where I don’t believe there are people living in LDS families, but if I lived near there..I know without a doubt I would be there with one arms to help anybody wanting to leave! I am so glad that you were in a safe and moreover LOVING situation when you decided to leave so sporadically which I know couldn’t have been an easy situation and probably let scary as well. I’m so glad it worked out for the best for you! I’m glad I found your channel because I appreciate your story and look forward to watching more from you both!
Wow, can you imagine if this had been one of your sisters? I can't help but think how totally powerless the females are. The males have so many more contacts/help then they would ever have.
I really appreciate these conversations and your honesty. My other thought was can you imagine the dad of the girl you stayed with being ok with 3 other dudes? Did he know that y'all were innocent and would never harm her? You guys knew you would be in trouble for breaking curfew but, wow, she was out with all of you and her dad didn't bat an eye at her bringing ya'll home and offering the couch? She must have had a lot of independence at home.
Sorry, second comment. Sam & Melissa, there's a series about an Amish family here on YT - Breaking the Silence by Joseph Graber. I found the second episode (when they left) more interesting than the first but, regardless, it would really speak to you, Sam. It's very respectful, particularly about how these families work in communal organizations which can often be lovely.
Sorry if I missed it but are you still in touch with any of the people who helped or supported you & your brother's when you first left? Oppps, if I waited seconds later my question would have been answered...😁
Hi, do you ever share on one of your videos what denomination, if any, you eventually joined? How did the two of you meet? Thank you! It’s just a different world than anything I have ever known. Very educational! Karen
Thanks for this great video! Yes we want a part 2! How was it being in control of all of your own finances? What did you spend money on that you weren’t able to before? What was it like being able to choose what you eat for the first time? What are some things you we’re excited to try for the first time that you weren’t allowed to do?
New fan of your channel! Thanks for sharing with us. I would love to know about what happens to the family structure once kids move out. Do the wives and husband all stay together or live separately since the kids are gone? Do they keep the giant house?
That's a great question! I honestly can't think of many households without children. I think it was probably because younger women would marry older men. On the rare occasion that all the children were moved out they would be assigned to a smaller home.
Thank you for blessing us with another informative video! You two seem like such wonderful people. The kind of people you hope to be your neighbor. Looking forward to the next video. I have another question, also. You mentioned in another video there may have been a little tension sometimes amongst the mothers in your home when it came to "my child didn't do it," or something along those lines. Were you there long enough (maybe your sister was, and I would love to see her back on here!) to notice if the mother's relationship improved as the children got older and possibly moved away, or was it more strained because there were no young children to distract from their relationship? If you don't know, I completely understand. I just thought I would ask, because this is all so fascinating, as I'm sure I've said before. Lol Thank you for your time.
What happened to your brother and friend? Are they married, families, close still? Y'all are so cute together and she is madly inlove with you Sam if you could see how she looks at you. Lucky to have each other. Thanks for sharing a part of your life with us. Jennifer
Would love to hear so much more about your background. Like what was an average day like before? And when you came out do you manage to maintain any relationships with siblings or other people?
I'm learning so much from your videos. Thank you for making them! I'm just wondering if there any connection to the Sam Zitting in the 2010 documentary "Sons of Perdition"?
You would have been surprised, it actually wasn't that bad! Mother taught us how to clean, and Father always taught us to keep things orderly and neat. He would always say to leave any place you go better than you found it.
Thank you for sharing your story. I know it had to of been so hard to leave, but I’m so glad you followed your heart. Such bravery. And now you have this beautiful life with Melissa. What religion was the family that you stayed with?
In your video with Tephi you all mentioned that there was a brother who left when he was only 16. How did that work that he was underaged? Did he have any concerns about being arrested as a runaway?
So glad you got out but so sad that you can never have your family around you. I'm also very glad that us evil outsiders were so kind and supportive to you.
I am so grateful for the evil outsiders sooo much! haha It is hard, but I still hold out hope that someday I will get to see them all more. As of now, I have 14 siblings that have left that I get to have relationships with, which is great!
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy Oh I never realised you have so many siblings outside right now. Good for all of them too. Oh and obviously I sincerely hope you are able to reconnect with all of your family again one day. You seem like a very decent folk to me.
How did you travel? Were you able to keep a vehicle? After the first night and you went home to get your things, how did you get back out of the community? If you didn't have your own vehicle, how did you get to Las Vegas looking for work?
When Sam was growing up with such a large family how did they afford to pay for dentists and doctor visits? I would think it would be difficult to get health insurance for such a large amount of people.
From my understanding they had a handful of nurses that would do a lot of the medical care at a Clinic but they often would be faced with situations outside of a nurses realm. If that makes sense. Rachel Jeff’s has a book called breaking free and she tells a couple of stories where she was not allowed to take her son to get medical help when he severely needed it. They need approval from The prophet or other men high in the church. And since the way the community is ran everyone gives of their services or skills some what freely because it’s god’s work.
So I’m confused, like what happens when your 18,19,20 plus? You always live in the same house with your parents ( until you get married ( is it arranged?) what about this one brother who left with you ( is he still out ?) and what about your older brothers kids before you ( did any of them leave?)
I must be odd because personally I think we all have choices in our lives, you choose your own path in life, and everyone should respect your choices, you had your reasons and deserve respect from others
very impressed with both of ur mental health. amazing story of self empower meant.. by making that big choice to be a freed slave. well done and thanks for the podcast u are doing an amazing job to help others by leaving ur crumbs or experience online so others can do the same and be brave enough to make the big choices in life...peace
Wow .... I am glad your transitions went so well. Curious to know what church you went to that first day and if you still go to church. Also surprised they let you get your things. Have you seen any of your family since that first meeting? Can you specifically tell us how many children each mother had and of those how many left/stayed. Are you connected to the siblings who left before and after you?
I have a question about your accent, Sam. I've noticed that you and other FLDS have an accent similar to Amish rather than a typical Utah accent. Any idea why that would be?
Does the FLDS group you grew up in keep themselves quite segregated from the non-FLDS community, like the Amish community do? (Sorry if this sounds ignorant or if you’re sick of this question; this is the second video of your that I have watched) That might explain it. I grew up in a very close-knit family, but sound nothing like them, as we lived overseas and I went to an international school with more than 40 nationalities attending. My British family think I sound American, my American friends think I sound British, taxi drivers always asked if I was Australian and a customer of mine once asked if I was Dutch!
I have a theory that this particular accent is due to isolation from wider American influence. I believe it's an earlier form of standard American accent. When they say it's as if Sam grew up in the 1800's, it's not far off the mark. Culturally, he did, and his accent reflects it. As he's integrated into mainstream culture, his accent has reflected that change.
Love listening to your story. Y’all are a wonderful couple. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Are you still in touch with your friend that left with you and your brother? Are you close with your other siblings that have left? Thanks 😊
Was the family who helped you out in the beginning LDS? When you were in the car that first night talking with the girl, was she answering faith questions? When did you decide to join the LDS church?
I think there were 11 bedrooms. We were split up by gender and we all had to share rooms. Each mother had their own room and then father had his own room.
I don't know if you've been asked before, but, what long term effects have you experienced due to your upbringing? I was brought up very strict Jesus name Pentecostal and even though I've been out of the church for decades, it still effects me in my day today life.
It's hard to pinpoint. I was lucky enough to be brought up in a loving family without abuse, so I would say that the biggest impact has been on the way I think from the religious aspect. I definitely think twice before doing anything because of being taught that God was constantly watching me and judging me for every choice I made.
I don't know if you've heard of Holding out HELP but they're a charity based it Utah that do everything from providing gas money to providing legal aid to arranging host families for people leaving. They have a website that talks about donations and volunteer organizations.
I am a new subscriber and just wanted to say that I love your videos! I appreciate how you share your unique experiences in an honest, entertaining and frank way. I would love to hear about what the marriages were like. Did the father and first wife get married in a courthouse and the other wives get married to him at church? Do they have temples that they get married in like in the LDS religion?
Welcome!!! Thank you so much for watching! All marriages were just done in the church leader's offices. The only temple the FLDS had was in Texas, but only certain members were "invited" to go and live in that compound and had access to it.
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I love how his wife is so attentive and prompts the conversation. Beautiful conversation!
They have such a great conversational flow!
Yes! Melissa does a great job of asking questions to help fill in the gaps for outsiders.
God bless that girl and her family who took you in and supported you when you first left. I hope they know what a huge impact they had on your life and future. To be willing to help 3 random boys no questions asked....the world needs more people like that.
Agreed. That is who we are as Americans, (not unlike most other cultures) but evil is are trying to make life ugly.
You need to write a book. You are a very good storyteller. Melissa is an excellent interviewer! 25 minutes fly by! So glad you have had a great life!
Are we ever going to get to meet your brother, friend and the kind family that originally helped you three boys out? Those would be amazing interviews!
I think it's important to remember that it's easier for boys to leave the FLDS because most of them have resources, a vehicle, a means to earn an income, contacts in the "outside" world. And they also aren't a commodity, like the girls. When you have a culture where men are encouraged to marry multiple women, you will always have men around who can't find a wife because some other dude has five. So the boys in this church are almost encouraged to leave because it means there's one less man to compete with for the limited number of available girls.
Yes and don’t have so many children or younger siblings that they used to take care of. Bun now nobody is getting married or having kids as far as I understand uncle Warren
This is actually a common thing in polygamist cults. Sometimes they just kick the boys out for very minor offenses just to eliminate competition for women. I forgot the name of it, but there was one cult in Florida, where boys were typically kicked out at the age of 16 to get rid of competition.
Sometimes don't these FLDS orders toss the young men out because the old guys don't want competition among the young women for their wives? Aren't they known as Lost Boys in SLC and just beyond The Crick?
This is a very interesting story. I left JWs and although I had worked for years with non JWs, I didn't have anyone who knew what I was going through losing my family and friends as I was never allowed to speak to anyone who had left before and thus lost touch with anyone else. Plus when you are JW you are not allowed to build friendships outside the religion (very similar) so I just started my life from scratch at 24. It's definitely weird not having any family and friends and starting out fresh. I don't know how I came across your videos but I see a lot of similarities and can relate to starting new. You look like you have adjusted well and it's nice to see that. Keep posting it's very educational.
it takes a ton of courage to make your own choice in life, hugs and bless all who do that.
Good for you for going your own way. I sincerely hope that you're doing well today and have been successful out in the world.
This is a remarkable story.......the reason why you boys were successful in your exit was primarily due to your job skills in construction. This is why it is possible for FLDS boys to leave while girls find it very difficult since they will typically not have a readily marketable job skill to enable their exit. In fact, you may have covered the topic of FLDS girls leaving the community (I have not as yet watched all your videos)....but if you have not covered that subject, it would be of great interest to your viewers. I and all your viewers find the videos immensely interesting and I applaud your work. It takes a STRONG AND TALENTED person to accomplish what you have since your departure.
This is a very good point
It’s also why women struggle to leave abusive relationships especially if they’ve been stay at home mothers for any amount of time or had to give up their education.
Super video. Melissa is an excellent journalist/wife!! She asks all the questions we want to hear and Sam is eloquent in his answers. Thank you.
I became interested in and began researching polygamy and Joseph Smith after watching sister wives. So far I found that not all polygamists live the pretty lives of the show- And that 11 of Joseph Smith's wives were married to other men . I truly appreciate your videos. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us. You are such an adorable couple.
I would absolutely love to know more about this, and I would be interested to hear from the family Sam initially stayed with. Had they taken in former FLDS folks before? Have they done it again since? What was it like from their perspective helping these three boys get out of the FLDS and into the world?
That is a great idea! I have tried to respect their privacy as much as possible throughout this, but I'll reach out and see if that is something that they are open to! =)
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy Yes! I'd love to hear from them (if they're willing)!
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy it would be interesting just to hear you retelling their point of view, even if they aren’t interested in being on camera.
She says your mom must have been worried that you weren’t safe at the same time he said she was worried you would leave the religion! Goes to show the difference in your upbringing.
Very good point!
Absolutely. By our standard of "safety" -- which she certainly must have perceived even on an unarticulated level -- he was already so much safer than she was. He'd been able to move about safely, he could leave without threat of physical harm, and he could return and "talk it over" safely.
It is amazing how you made it through all of this. And went on to be educated and continue on with your life. From other blogs you have done I know you loved your family and respected your parents. That had to be a very hard decision.
Thank you, Liz! It was a very difficult decision but I was so lucky to find such amazing people and support on the "outside".
This channel is doing great things! Keep on talking, don’t stop, the FLDS needs, at least, to know what their choices are in life, as well as any high demand religion or group, including mainstream LDS
Thank you so much for all of the support!
Melissa you ask great questions, these are often questions we would ask. I enjoy your channel - love your human interest stories.
Thank you so much!
I was thinking the same thing. She asks questions as if it's her first time hearing it. It's very refreshing compared to more scripted videos.
First of all. Loved this video. I kinda think it was a blessing in disguise that you left at such a young age. Your brain weren't fully developed at the time. Furthermore you were at the age were you'd be prone to make in the moment decisions without fully being able to really comprehend and process the consequences at the same time. If you were 5-8 years older, chances are you'd over analyze your choices and their consequences and end up not leaving. Clearly you've found happiness outside the FLDS and it's so nice to see that. ☺️
Thank you so much for your love and support!
Are u guys still going to do a video on the rules that changed when Warren became prophet & how Sam’s dad was taken away from his family? Would love to hear that story!
Yes! Those are both on the video list. I think the one about my Father will be within the next few weeks! Stay tuned! =)
Sam, you are so so sober, sensitive, greatful person. The way you look at Melissa, your eyes speak tour love for her. I believe you are a very compassionate empathetic person
You guys are an amazing couple! Thank you for sharing so much of what you have gone through!
Meant to add the way Melissa and Sam look into each others eyes is just beautiful!
Aww thank you!
I just love your videos. I love that you are so respectful of your parents and your former life and it is so nice to get a glimpse into your journey. I hope you keep these videos coming. I look forward to each new one coming out. You are both adorable.
Thank you so much! You are so sweet!
This was such an interesting video!! The mother in me was so concerned about your mother! Just can't imagine how worried she must have been, however... thank goodness for you guys that you were supported so well by your "adopted" family!! I kept thinking just how wonderful they are!! Unconditional support and love!! Their actions of support warmed my heart!!! Thank you for sharing!!!
Yes!! I am excited to hear about what it was like to support others who got out...and maybe more sibling interviews? Y'all are so fun to watch!
We are definitely hoping to do more sibling videos soon!
Just love watching you two! Thank you for sharing your story, it’s so eye opening to see the world through another lens - you two are treasures!
Thank you so much! You are too sweet!
I would love to see a part 2, I'm always so curious about the details. Thank you so much for sharing your story! TBH I would watch a whole series of them going up to present day.
Thank you so much! That is good to know!
I recently found your channel and have enjoyed learning so much about the culture you grew up in. Thanks for being so open, matter of fact, and sharing your life story!
Love the channel! Id love to hear the compare and contrast in being raised lds vs flds. Also you guys would make a great podcast in my opinion, very easy to listen to.
That is a great video idea! And thank you! We have considered it, but honestly don't even know how to start a podcast. hahaha We will have to look into it!
I listen to them “podcast style” just playing in my headphones with my phone in my pocket most times. So I agree they’d easily make a great podcast
This is so good. I’ve binged all their videos.
Thank you so much for watching! =)
So glad to see you guys posted a video! The bravery you guys had at that age is so remarkable. I’m so glad that you guys had the courage to leave. Do you keep in touch with everyone that was there for you in the beginning of your journey?
Thank you! The family that I stayed with that first night are family now. I am so lucky to have them and have continued to have their love and support ever since that first night.
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy thanks amazing so glad you still have them
Melissa you would make a great interviewer or host of a show. You ask every question I’m thinking most videos!
Would love a part two. Thanks for sharing your story, keep the content coming. Your subscribers have grown significantly, that's great!
Thank you so much! We definitely will! We are blown away by all the love and support we have received!
Can you have your brother in an interview, his recollection could be different and may trigger additional memories. Curious to see the resemblance…
So I found your channel yesterday and I’m hooked! Binge watched all your videos in 2 days! So interesting hearing the stories from someone who lived it. Also, so happy you are out and have found happiness. Can’t wait for future videos to watch 😃 much love from British Columbia Canada 🇨🇦
Welcome! We are so glad you found us! Thank you so much for watching! =)
Double your subs in the last month that I’ve been here. Congratulations!
Thank you :)
In essence the church and your family made the decision. The family choose to break ties. I can’t imagine choosing FLDS over my children. But when you know better you do better.The support was God letting you know that good exist despite what you were taught. Sam God ordered your steps. What you three experienced after leaving was God’s hand. I am not highly religious and I felt his presence in your life.
You are a lovely inspirational couple! You also have a powerful ministry to help others who are trapped in the FLDS & are afraid to make a move away from them. You have a real story to tell & I would love reading your book if you ever decided to write one! God loves you! God bless you both!
Melissa, you would be a great news reporter!!!
The family you initially stayed with sound amazing. They were placed in your life at just the right time 💗.
Do you still remain in contact with the girl and her family that you stayed with originally? Y’all were so lucky to have that family to help you out in the beginning.
Have you been able to see your Mom very much since leaving?
The family that I stayed with originally has become my family. I am soo lucky to have them and they have continued to be my biggest support since the first night I left. Unfortunately, I have not been able to see my biological Mother in almost 10 years.
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy that is so sad and hard, it took a lot of courage to leave.
I’d really love to know what weddings were like before Warren took over and after he took over in the FLDS church (before they were stopped) and how it compared to your own wedding in the LDS church. Also, if there are any things about your own wedding you would go back and change if you could.
Love your videos. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
This sounds like a great topic for a video =)
The kindness showed by your friends family (and neighbours) give me faith in the goodness of people.
That’s great to hear that you are still friends with that family.
I live on the east coast where I don’t believe there are people living in LDS families, but if I lived near there..I know without a doubt I would be there with one arms to help anybody wanting to leave! I am so glad that you were in a safe and moreover LOVING situation when you decided to leave so sporadically which I know couldn’t have been an easy situation and probably let scary as well. I’m so glad it worked out for the best for you! I’m glad I found your channel because I appreciate your story and look forward to watching more from you both!
Wow, can you imagine if this had been one of your sisters? I can't help but think how totally powerless the females are. The males have so many more contacts/help then they would ever have.
I really appreciate these conversations and your honesty. My other thought was can you imagine the dad of the girl you stayed with being ok with 3 other dudes? Did he know that y'all were innocent and would never harm her? You guys knew you would be in trouble for breaking curfew but, wow, she was out with all of you and her dad didn't bat an eye at her bringing ya'll home and offering the couch? She must have had a lot of independence at home.
@@sco222 Yes, I love that this family were okay with this. What a blessing!
It is definitely harder for women to leave. Luckily, now my sisters know that they have our love and support if they ever left.
Thanks! I've wanted to hear the details since watching your first video.
Sorry, second comment. Sam & Melissa, there's a series about an Amish family here on YT - Breaking the Silence by Joseph Graber. I found the second episode (when they left) more interesting than the first but, regardless, it would really speak to you, Sam. It's very respectful, particularly about how these families work in communal organizations which can often be lovely.
Thank you! We'll definitely check out the channel.
She asked good questions! Such a great interview!
Growing Up in Polygamy Rocks! Thank You for exposing the FLDS!
You guys are so strong, Hope many blessing come to your family.
So interesting. You're so brave to follow your heart to try to make a life for yourself. I'll look for the other videos. Thank you for posting.
Thank you so much. =)
Sorry if I missed it but are you still in touch with any of the people who helped or supported you & your brother's when you first left? Oppps, if I waited seconds later my question would have been answered...😁
I would love to see a part 2 of this video!
Look at y'all with 5000 subs!!!❤️
Thank you! :) And thank you for being with us since the beginning!
I’m so thankful you had support and even if it hurt your parents they still helped you get started.
Hi, do you ever share on one of your videos what denomination, if any, you eventually joined?
How did the two of you meet?
Thank you! It’s just a different world than anything I have ever known. Very educational!
Karen
You should do a video of the family who helped you and ask them questions on what they thought of helping you.
Thanks for this great video! Yes we want a part 2! How was it being in control of all of your own finances? What did you spend money on that you weren’t able to before? What was it like being able to choose what you eat for the first time? What are some things you we’re excited to try for the first time that you weren’t allowed to do?
Why is it your business about their 💰 situations?
New fan of your channel! Thanks for sharing with us. I would love to know about what happens to the family structure once kids move out. Do the wives and husband all stay together or live separately since the kids are gone? Do they keep the giant house?
That's a great question! I honestly can't think of many households without children. I think it was probably because younger women would marry older men. On the rare occasion that all the children were moved out they would be assigned to a smaller home.
Thank you for blessing us with another informative video! You two seem like such wonderful people. The kind of people you hope to be your neighbor. Looking forward to the next video.
I have another question, also. You mentioned in another video there may have been a little tension sometimes amongst the mothers in your home when it came to "my child didn't do it," or something along those lines. Were you there long enough (maybe your sister was, and I would love to see her back on here!) to notice if the mother's relationship improved as the children got older and possibly moved away, or was it more strained because there were no young children to distract from their relationship? If you don't know, I completely understand. I just thought I would ask, because this is all so fascinating, as I'm sure I've said before. Lol Thank you for your time.
This is a great question that I don't know the answer to. I will ask my sister and see if she knows more that she is willing to share! =)
What happened to your brother and friend? Are they married, families, close still? Y'all are so cute together and she is madly inlove with you Sam if you could see how she looks at you. Lucky to have each other. Thanks for sharing a part of your life with us. Jennifer
They are both married now with families. Thank you so much for all the love and support!
Would love to hear so much more about your background. Like what was an average day like before? And when you came out do you manage to maintain any relationships with siblings or other people?
I'm learning so much from your videos. Thank you for making them! I'm just wondering if there any connection to the Sam Zitting in the 2010 documentary "Sons of Perdition"?
Love your vlogs and learning your past life style.. you guys are amazing. Congratulations on your growing channel🌸
How were you three boys at housekeeping in your first apartment??? 😬😆 I can only imagine!
You would have been surprised, it actually wasn't that bad! Mother taught us how to clean, and Father always taught us to keep things orderly and neat. He would always say to leave any place you go better than you found it.
Thank you for sharing your story. I know it had to of been so hard to leave, but I’m so glad you followed your heart. Such bravery. And now you have this beautiful life with Melissa. What religion was the family that you stayed with?
In your video with Tephi you all mentioned that there was a brother who left when he was only 16. How did that work that he was underaged? Did he have any concerns about being arrested as a runaway?
How accurate is the movie "Sons of Perdition"?
I am fascinated with your story!
once you got established did you help any other people leave the community? even if not family?
So glad you got out but so sad that you can never have your family around you. I'm also very glad that us evil outsiders were so kind and supportive to you.
I am so grateful for the evil outsiders sooo much! haha It is hard, but I still hold out hope that someday I will get to see them all more. As of now, I have 14 siblings that have left that I get to have relationships with, which is great!
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy Oh I never realised you have so many siblings outside right now. Good for all of them too. Oh and obviously I sincerely hope you are able to reconnect with all of your family again one day. You seem like a very decent folk to me.
Hi! Melissa, what is your background and family?
Hi Katie! Melissa here! =) I grew up LDS, although now my family is mixed faith. Some family members are still active LDS and some are not. =)
How did you travel? Were you able to keep a vehicle? After the first night and you went home to get your things, how did you get back out of the community? If you didn't have your own vehicle, how did you get to Las Vegas looking for work?
My older brother that I left with owned a truck that we used.
When Sam was growing up with such a large family how did they afford to pay for dentists and doctor visits? I would think it would be difficult to get health insurance for such a large amount of people.
From my understanding they had a handful of nurses that would do a lot of the medical care at a Clinic but they often would be faced with situations outside of a nurses realm. If that makes sense. Rachel Jeff’s has a book called breaking free and she tells a couple of stories where she was not allowed to take her son to get medical help when he severely needed it. They need approval from The prophet or other men high in the church. And since the way the community is ran everyone gives of their services or skills some what freely because it’s god’s work.
Correct me if I have incorrectly described something. 🥰
So the need of insurance is not completely necessary.
Yeah! Part 2!🤩
You two are a beautiful couple! Thanks for sharing your story. ❤️
Thank you! And thank you for watching! =)
So I’m confused, like what happens when your 18,19,20 plus? You always live in the same house with your parents ( until you get married ( is it arranged?) what about this one brother who left with you ( is he still out ?) and what about your older brothers kids before you ( did any of them leave?)
I must be odd because personally I think we all have choices in our lives, you choose your own path in life, and everyone should respect your choices, you had your reasons and deserve respect from others
Hi guys, im from the uk and just found your channel. Love the content and you are so cute together ❤
Thank you so much and welcome! =)
It would be really cool if they interviewed someone from the family that helped them out initially
very impressed with both of ur mental health. amazing story of self empower meant.. by making that big choice to be a freed slave. well done and thanks for the podcast u are doing an amazing job to help others by leaving ur crumbs or experience online so others can do the same and be brave enough to make the big choices in life...peace
Thank you so much.
GreT visir. Thanks for sharing🥰
Wow .... I am glad your transitions went so well. Curious to know what church you went to that first day and if you still go to church. Also surprised they let you get your things. Have you seen any of your family since that first meeting? Can you specifically tell us how many children each mother had and of those how many left/stayed. Are you connected to the siblings who left before and after you?
What about when you were 17,18 19 + and worked, did you get to keep your money or did you have to like pay rent to live there?
I have a question about your accent, Sam. I've noticed that you and other FLDS have an accent similar to Amish rather than a typical Utah accent. Any idea why that would be?
No idea why it is the kind of accent it is, but it is very prominent in that community.
Does the FLDS group you grew up in keep themselves quite segregated from the non-FLDS community, like the Amish community do? (Sorry if this sounds ignorant or if you’re sick of this question; this is the second video of your that I have watched) That might explain it.
I grew up in a very close-knit family, but sound nothing like them, as we lived overseas and I went to an international school with more than 40 nationalities attending. My British family think I sound American, my American friends think I sound British, taxi drivers always asked if I was Australian and a customer of mine once asked if I was Dutch!
I have a theory that this particular accent is due to isolation from wider American influence. I believe it's an earlier form of standard American accent. When they say it's as if Sam grew up in the 1800's, it's not far off the mark. Culturally, he did, and his accent reflects it. As he's integrated into mainstream culture, his accent has reflected that change.
do you know where tom green has the plot of land all the way out there.?
Do you still keep in touch with the brother and friend that left with you? How are they doing?
Love listening to your story. Y’all are a wonderful couple. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Are you still in touch with your friend that left with you and your brother? Are you close with your other siblings that have left? Thanks 😊
I have relationships will all of my siblings that have left, including the brother I left with. Thanks for watching!
That is awesome! 😊
Was the family who helped you out in the beginning LDS? When you were in the car that first night talking with the girl, was she answering faith questions? When did you decide to join the LDS church?
How many bedrooms did your house have? Do all kids have to share rooms or different for your age group/ gender?
I think there were 11 bedrooms. We were split up by gender and we all had to share rooms. Each mother had their own room and then father had his own room.
Sam, do you still have contact with your mother and father? I hope you are happy in your new life.
When your other siblings left did they try to contact you?
Hi! Yes, when my siblings leave, they reach out. I've been able to help several of them start their new life on the outside.
Super interesting that you just kind of left on a whim!
Do you still stay in touch with the original family?
Absolutely! They have become family and we are still close to this day!
I don't know if you've been asked before, but, what long term effects have you experienced due to your upbringing? I was brought up very strict Jesus name Pentecostal and even though I've been out of the church for decades, it still effects me in my day today life.
It's hard to pinpoint. I was lucky enough to be brought up in a loving family without abuse, so I would say that the biggest impact has been on the way I think from the religious aspect. I definitely think twice before doing anything because of being taught that God was constantly watching me and judging me for every choice I made.
Are you still in contact with the family you first stayed with?
Has the sibling(s) /friend that Sam left with remained “out” and in contact?
The young lady asks great questions. She could have her own channel interviewing people b
(Melissa) Aww thanks! =)
Are you related to Sam Zitting from
Sons of perdition?
How can decent people outside the FLDS community help the girls that want to break free?
I don't know if you've heard of Holding out HELP but they're a charity based it Utah that do everything from providing gas money to providing legal aid to arranging host families for people leaving. They have a website that talks about donations and volunteer organizations.
There's a TV show called escaping polygamy, you might be able to find info through that
What would you tell someone that was thinking of leaving? Besides family what do u miss the most? What was the biggest surprise for u
I am a new subscriber and just wanted to say that I love your videos! I appreciate how you share your unique experiences in an honest, entertaining and frank way. I would love to hear about what the marriages were like. Did the father and first wife get married in a courthouse and the other wives get married to him at church? Do they have temples that they get married in like in the LDS religion?
Welcome!!! Thank you so much for watching! All marriages were just done in the church leader's offices. The only temple the FLDS had was in Texas, but only certain members were "invited" to go and live in that compound and had access to it.
How would you react if one of your kids wanted to practice polygamy just wondering