When my son was growing in his mothers belly, I couldn't stop thinking about what it must be like to think before we have words. What it must feel like to be completely loved and embraced and cared for in every way before you even have words to describe that sensation. How does one pray from that state of wholeness and bliss? How does one exist before words complicate things into smaller and smaller separations? How do we return to that? It feels like we spend all of our lives trying to return to that state of being. In the end, the meaning we seek is Being. Suzanne, thank you for sharing your thoughts. From this light to yours, keep shining.
In my experience, we're all on a path to understanding birth and death are two sides of the coin of life. We must first become that which we despise so we can know the unknowable (duality). We desire unconditional love, yet learn to be conditional hate. Enlightenment, for anyone, is the break in the wall of self-made delusional suffering. Once we step through into the light of understanding, we cannot go back, but once we realize everyone else is trapped in their own prison of the Self, we either run forward into the oblivion of no-Self (Suzanne) where those still imprisoned believe us to be insane, or we hide in the shadows of the Great Illusion of existence until we succumb to the existential end. Either way, once awakened, you will never want to go back to sleep. Lastly, we must know that those who sleep, like day walking zombies, do not want to be awakened, and you can not help them. You can not. People may say they wish for Enlightenment, but they are ultimately not prepared to do the work that is required for change. In this, they will never know Love or Truth because the unconditional Love we seek IS the work and IS the action of the verb that our limiting languages so readily are taught to confuse us from the moment we are born to keep us in our Illusion till death.
Hello, illusory ego here. Thanks for the video. It's really comforting to see and realize that awakening isn't something that only mythical figures and the archetypal monk get to have, with an insane amount of practice and a insane amount of time. I realize more and more that Reality truly does not depend on any practice, philosophy, belief, amount of time...The modern Buddha looks just like you and me, making TH-cam videos and talking in plain English. It is truly settling in lately how much my own seeking works against me (or rather, for my own perpetuation). Meanwhile the philosophies and practices and communities reveal themselves as systems of seeking: built by seekers, for the past-time of seeking. There is no end to it, and yet it seems like this endless seeking is the final disillusionment: the paradox of seeking which dissolves into non-seeking. In the same sense that this intense suffering becomes the fuel that leads to non-suffering. But I don't know. I don't know what I am doing. I don't know anything. I have realized all this, all of what you are alluding to, several times, for moments or days or months at a time. I fall back into it; a fear slithers its way into the back of my consciousness and I'm born again. It is the most intense suffering and horror I can imagine: to know Absolute freedom and to slip and fall back into illusion. The fear itself is an indication of my desire not to "lose" it, and in that very act seperation is implied. After this my mind becomes consumed by the desire for transcendence; I simultaniously watch myself feed into its own paradox. I suppose in the end its a clensing process: every time I find my way "back" it is only when I have found the strength to surrender to an even greater fear than the last, and succumb to the futility of effort. I let that fire consume me whole and trust that it is the only thing there IS. I don't know how long it will take, but I sure pray that someone real can come to help me, and I can help them. Thank you for your video, you give me strength and hope to perservere despite the pain. [I say in frustration as I continuily contradict my own insight XD]
I feel a lot of sadness/ aloneness she feels is the repressed emotional trauma surfacing, now that the ego is dissipating (with her actions). I am somewhere there as well, so I empathise ❤ It will take time - our egos like to cling onto the certainty of "what we have learned this world is like". ❤ Many ways to adress it; a therapist is a good idea (if possible), finding people struggling with similar challenges (offline or online), meditation, past-authoring by Jordan Peterson are some useful tools on the way there... Much Love
Aleister Crowley has helped me understand this a lot in what I feel are helpful ways. He talks about yoga as the Union of subject and object - a marriage of two separate elements. Like when a sperm cell fertilizes and egg and both are essentially destroyed in the process, but a new thing comes about. He says “we are divided for loves sake, for the chance of Union.” So love is the uniting of two estranged elements that destroys both and creates a new thing, which then seeks love with the other itself. It’s this ongoing process of isolation and Union that never stops but the catalyst or the essence of the whole thing is Love.
you have helped me to understand that I perhaps do not want to go all the way to this level of awareness at this point in my life. Deconstructing and zooming out seems helpful, but only to the level of connection to planetary life and nature. On top of this, thank you! I think I'm out to experience my illusions for now :) 💚 in knowledge that they do not exist, but are real all the same by the simple merit of the there-being of experience. yay absurdism! Would still love to hear the story with your friend
I think to think that they, you, etc. do not exist is maybe an illusion, or a delusion, itself. We're in the space of the mind, so everything is, to some degree, constructed, right? Even that construction of nothingness and detachment from I seems to be that. If I is a coping mechanism than Not I most certainly is, it seems to me. Either way, I guess what matters is that it works for you, truly?
The mind is never prepared for this awareness because an awakening means the death of the ego so it would do anything to distract you or trick you from reaching that state, your own thoughts.
I definitely have the longing in my heart for the Truth and I pray God keeps it there . Above all else I wish to see . And the rest of my days here build connections based on the Truth of our hearts Divinity .
In my experience you don't become nothing, you become a new thing. But it feels like nothing for a long time because you've let everything go and it's all you've ever known. If you're carrying your bag and you drop it, there's nothing in your hands but the hands remain the hands. People believe they're the bag when in reality they're the hands. You mention yourself that there is experience. There can not be nothing when there is experience. It's just that you realize "you"re not the one making decisions anymore. Things happen, you notice things happening, you notice internal life, you see yourself taking action. "You" are dead, but the thing remains and that thing is you.
I also understand this in the sense of, I think a lot of people are still heavily focused on the idea of no one, because of how long they forced certain things and people to relate to them that they don’t relate with anymore, so their apparent falling away is so focused on this idea of no one bc in order to accept themsleves again they have to let go of so many things they “don’t like” anymore that they completely related to themselves in the past. Like I’ve noticed most people actually relate so much to themselves based on their immediate environment and what they are used to from growing up completely regardless of their actual preferences or lack of, and that’s what seems to create obligations and feelings of unworthiness based on apparent comparison and just things that the person feels extremely attached too but doesn’t actually like. It creates this extreme sense of individuality that divides people even in small ways, like small personality differences that prevent certain people from creating relationships with certain others all because of apparent conditioning that instills fear of certain behaviors which leads to extreme apparent misinterpretation and just otherness I guess. In order to drop this you have to see that you were never doing it, and the people around you also were never doing it. But I also agree with you where you will still be something like these certain characters, all on their own paths and that there will actually always be a location of me it seems, even though it’s not personal. And a location of all the other mes, and that that seems to mean something, even tho it is not personal
Or maybe not location, but I definitely still believe in some sense of uniqueness. Including and because of location I guess. Like…. The simple fact of skin/eye and hair color… like I think these differences are simply beautiful and awe striking just as nature is. if I’m ever zoning out with a person it’s because I am observing them but as I would a beautiful plant. It’s basically what she is saying… how everything is the same in that way. But something about me still observes this so strongly, but completely neutrally in the sense of what is normally used to compare, but I am still comparing…. But it doesn’t mean anything… but it kinda does. But completely not in any sense of worthy or un worthy ness or anything ljke that. I guess I am saying something here doesn’t like the idea of or the emphasis of complete neutrality or their not being an actual location of me or anyone else bc everything is so vibrant bc of location…. Idk. Maybe that is still what she is saying lol… that its all equally unique or rare or special whatever you want to say… so it doesn’t even need to be acknowledged
Suzane, I am getting your videos recommended in my feed these days, I find the titles and the whole aesthetic of calmly sitting in a cemetery fascinating - so I ‘ve started watching you. And wow… I do not grasp everything yet but I cannot stop watching, there is something very alluring here. I do agree with you that accepting the ego, the I, is illusionary is liberating (I have experienced and “felt” strongly the concept of egodeath through psychedelics). I will keep following your work and will watch more of your past videos (and like you i use “i” and “you” linguistically mostly). Keep up the good work!
We are machines with competing desires. The desires are carrots on sticks, like Suzanne says. If we could fulfill our desires completely they would disappear and we would no longer have them, we would no longer be motivated to do anything. But that's not what life wants. For some reason unknown to us, whatever created life wants life to keep trying, thus the desires persist.
The TH-cam algorithm recommended your channel. So I've been hearing you state a lot about emptiness and void. As I a child, I've been on a quest to seek answers about life, I've had glimpses of my past lives, I was brought up Catholic, but it wasn't answering my questions. Until I started listening to talks from Swami Sarvapriyananda and the philosophy behind Advaita Vedanta, I have fully become aware and realized the truth. I believe Buddha was very close but he erred in stating all is void, all is emptiness. I've realized it's a total 180 from Buddhism, in that all is Consciousness. And I'm not talking about what neuroscientists believe, that consciousness is an epiphenomena of brain activity. I'm talking about the foundation of all existence. In Advaita Vedanta, you can discern between the seer and the seen by making a distinction between that which is transient or temporary and that which is eternal and unchanging. Your body, your thoughts, your emotions, your mind (the contents of your mind) are all transient, therefore illusory. They are not our true nature. What is our true nature is the Eternal Witness of all our experiences. From 10 yrs of age to now, you have physically transformed, your body is not the same as before, your thoughts have changed (how many times does your mind change in a day?), your emotions fluctuate. Basically all these experiences or material objects are transient, but are witnessed by an unchanging awareness. Anything that can be perceived is an illusion. The same awareness you had at age 10 until now remains unchanged, untarnished and unaffected by experiences or objects. It is not your awareness which suffers, or shares in joyful experiences. Consciousness is Eternal and everywhere, not empty or void. I had the experience of the Eternal Consciousness which pervades the entire existence in a dream. In that dream, I was everything and everywhere at once. It was the most enlightening experience of my life. We are like waves in the ocean, rising and existing temporarily in many forms from the ocean. The waves cannot exist without the water in the ocean. Likewise, we as temporary corporeal vessels, which are subject to pain, suffering, joy, and pleasure cannot exist without the one true Consciousness. The hardest part is letting go of what you perceive as your mind, body, ego & experiences. Anything which can be perceived by the eternal Consciousness is not your true nature. Everything is momentary and temporary and cyclic. The only thing that is unchanging is Consciousness. You probably know the meaning of the mantra AUM aka "OM." A = the waking state, U = the dream state, M = the deep sleep state. Throughout these 3 transient states is the underlying unchanging observer, namely Consciousness. That is the silence which follows "OM." Neuroscientists will state that deep sleep is the absence of consciousness. They couldn't be further from the truth. When in deep sleep, we are pure Consciousness. Deep sleep is not the absence of consciousness, but rather the absence of experience. That is why when we awaken we know that we dreamt, but in between dreams there were periods of nothingness or blackness, the absence of experience. There had to be an observer to be aware of this absence. This can be formulated into a philosophical equation: Consciousness + Object = Experience. Remove the object and we have no experience, we are only pure Consciousness. This is the true underlying nature of everything. It is not emptiness or void, there is only Consciousness which pervades the entire universe. Just like the water in the ocean, water pervades throughout the ocean and manifests as waves. We are the waves, and we return to the ocean when we reach the shore. 🙂✌
Thank you!!! For everything including your humility. Thanks for not having an intro advertisement like most other videos. I love how you get right into it.
Hi Suzanne. You’re very comfortable in silence. It takes strength and an acceptance that the message has been delivered and nothing more need be said. More and more I have the need to be silent when in conversation and just listen. Knowing by doing such a simple thing I will gain more insight into a person. I have a quotation tattooed along the outside of my forearm that reads, ‘Those who know do not say. Those who say do not know.’ I think about this a lot, and it gives me peace of mind I can control something in this construct we call life. 😊
It seems like, if I let go in this way….that I will end up doing nothing at all in my life. 😢. That I will loose interest in my family, my passions, my business…any “forward” motion of this human existence…
Probably not. You will still do everything that you would do otherwise but without the sense of need or urgency. Because of course what will be will be.
THE infinite being explodes into countless pieces, each having its own FREE WILL. ALL will take multiple highways and byways, from the heights of Heaven, even to the depths of Hell. until all come to LOVE, through which is recognized our ONENESS in the infinite being. Yet never ever loosing ourselves, since God gives forever. But bringing with us the richness of our experience. For to dance in the Glory of Glories, the HEAVEN above all heavens, which even now IS. THE CREATOR ITSELF, ALL IN ALL...
Im nearly 3 years into - having another person seemingly trigger a lot of this…process. I can only describe this as the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I found your channel a few months ago. The suffering of this is not only inevitable, it seems unending. I hear the message and the pointing…and most things I can allow or let go of. Except for one. And if I can for a moment - it returns to trigger more pain.
Because there's untapped potential inside of you. Terrany and evil is pulling at your strings because once they come undone your capable of manifesting positivity and light. As above so below, The cause of the light within can be an effect of your suffering. You could be the bridge for so much positivity. Trust in your path. Those of us walking the path along side you do and we believe in you. Have a bright festive season! The best gift is the Light coming fourth.
It can feel unending whatever you are going through but trust it is not, it will pass. Have you heard of Maharishikaa Preeti? I'm thinking her words and methods to possibly help you with the pain. Much love
I hear you. I stayed in a relationship with a narcissist for far too long. The repercussions of her after the fact was what destroyed me, all mental resources diverted to her. I'm glad to say it's finally losing its hold on me.
In every video of yours that I have seen, you give that same smile when you say that there is nothing. You look so relieved when you say it. I think I can relate to that feeling. If energy and consciousness are not one in the same, then I think your assessments would probably be correct. But if they are one in the same, then maybe it's more like matter doesn't matter, only intent matters.
After the ME drops.. every visitor comes to greet the new no you. Yet there is now the Self as the self to re look at these. It's not easy. Great posting.
I think for me the biggest thrill is to see the lovely mystery of this life, the ordinary life. Just the fact that the body works, we all live in this beautiful, physical world. This feels soooo precious in the context of the nothingness on one hand and the fullness on the other ... The obvious ordinary nothingness when I close my eyes and the emotions and thoughts pass by my mind. And the nothingness of the inevitable end of this particular physical existence as a person living here! The end of life as experienced by the disappearance of the bodies of my loved ones...
Haven't seen all of your videos fully coz we don't have to, just by reading your headlines we know what you gonna say & where are your energy levels are. God bless beautiful! ❤️🙏
I feel a lot of sadness/ aloneness you feel is the repressed emotional trauma surfacing, not that the ego is dissipating (with your actions). I am somewhere there as well, so I empathise ❤ It will take time - our egos like to cling onto the certainty of "what we have learned this world is like". ❤ Many ways to adress it; a therapist is a good idea (if possible), finding people struggling with similar challenges (offline or online), meditation, past-authoring by Jordan Peterson are some useful tools on the way there... Much Love to you.
I’ve been doing this alone me for three years. It’s hard, I don’t have anyone in my life who is going through this and whom I can share. A man I met triggered me and forced my awakening journey.
I'm not religous. But isn't that "unconditional love" what Jesus brought into the world with his Christian religion? "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:43-48). That's unconditional love. While in the older Jewish Torah (Exodus 21-23) it says "you are to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise." Perhaps the West is going backwards by abandoning Christianity.
Hey Suzanne. I am you and you are I, but aside from the everlasting dance of words,sounds and vibrations… I want you to continue your flow as you are perfect as you are but don’t block rebirth if it comes knocking on the gate less gate. I know you know what I’m talking about. You’re a clean slate or void as you mention it at this time, but when the personality is dead, the individual that is in unity with all becomes revealed. Sending you peace, bliss and love! Love you! BE well!
It's funny, if theres no me, how is Suzanne so earnest and sincere ☺️. these talks makes me feel strange sometimes, but I know, the strange, honest truth of buddha, and that being your simple self is not exclusive to samsara, I just feel so attuned when I come home wit the oness of body, being, emptiness, helping me negagate and confront and, even replace on over all my insane crap, and earnestness! 😅😊. a true bodhissatva! ☺️💟
Get a dog,feel what unconditional love is and I promise a answer for some of them open ends you speak of...all yous reading adopt a dog or buy a puppy and learn from him or her,they are zen masters and Great teachers,they will help you connect with other people you need in your life and help bring a solidifying satisfaction to the "not knowing"...I've been through the darkest darks and could not and would not have made it with out the guidance of 4 legs..get a dog💚🐶💙🐾
Hi .... I hope and trust you're well.. 😊. After 6 years its appears I am finally coming out of the dark consciousness. I would highly recommend drawing light from the left of yourself.... Into Your chakras. Subtle drawing of light to your chakras through the left hand side of your body. Be blessed my friend. There is a lot of strength to have abide in you from the light... Don't worry so much about the heart..... Light from your left 👌.. * Love to ya x
Miss Suzanne, I wish I could talk to you. We could compare suffering. I'm an old man. Nights ago I dreamt I was acknowledged by a sangha as a venerable old monk. Oft have I wondered why I have lived so long. And I realize now it was so I could hear you and talk to you this moment. Take heart. And blessings be upon you.
I am having this emptiness since last 12 months.. trying to divert my attention to my hobbies but this emptiness she leaving me still so fresh After this suffering I have discovered myself more in deep sense what I am doing why I am here which I am still persuing
I had a similar awakening but i didn't completely allow the separation of thought and consciousness to take place. I feel so dumb to have snapped out if it. It seemed so easy when i stumbled into it. Yet now i can not find the way back. 😒
It sure is triggering all of those things as you said :) I dont really know if this is what I want....But today it was clearly seen that what I have been using to try to navigate through this world is nothing but a traumatic feedback loop...I wrote this.... 'Seems that I am nothing but a traumatic feedback loop trying to heal trauma through none other than the loop... The loop is dead... A cycle of a wounded child trying to heal itself by recreating the tragic relationship with its mother through other relationships... Haha how the hell was that ever going to work.... The feedback loop is dead matter... An old narrative maybe constructed in order to feel safe once... But now it's outdated, worn out, dying, dead... Proven to not work' Felt like sharing this incase it resonates/helps or gives insight to anyone.....Thank you Suzanne for these videos....I feel that you are the 'help' the support that I need right now...I totally agree, how the hell could anyone go through this alone! Lots of love ❤
the loop is fed by unconditional love(spiritual force), which wants to expand,heal,save the matter (void force ). Its pointless because everything is already complete,everything already is where it needs to be . Its your choice with which force you want to associate because you cant be passive in a wheel of life .
There's sadness being conveyed in your videos, you're seeing the world for what it is....tangled mass of suffering. Once you've moved past this stage the real awakening begins and in it the true form of letting go.
The most beautiful things in life you can not see or touch, they are are felt by the soul. Just follow the path of your dreams not the Highway of somebody else his expectations.
You may want to connect to Kiran Trace. She also experienced awakening and the removal of the buffer of ego. She navigated and learned some things. There are others who have met the truth and found it is not the end of the journey.
Much of this I did alone and I understand completely what is being said here…all the layers and deeper and deeper complexity but all in some essences leading to simplicity. If anyone as watched the movie Dune where his hand is in the box and the extreme pain almost becomes unbearable this can capture a bit of it…lean into the pain and suffering and reliance heavily on lots and lots of researching and reading and reflection helped me. I think there is always more learning and things can always be said in many different ways kinda reminiscent of Anekantavada. In some ways also what’s called the Dark Night of the Soul and the Maya/Mitote is seen more clearly. The conclusion I have some to is that Love is what can fill this new found void. Empty myself so I become less and Love becomes greater and I gathered that from New Testament authors and Islamic philosophers such as Rumi and looking into the Kabbalistic teachings of Judaism as reference points in our human experience . Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Taoism also provide a very very valuable framework when interpreting all of the immense amount of data.
There are no human words to describe the indescribable. One can’t grasp any word with our five senses nor can we grasp emptiness. And the mind, as useful it might appear on the surface, appears as a hindrance the deeper we descent. Truth becomes tainted, corrupted, by words swelling from the mind. Nature is always true. The tree behind you is true nature. The tree can speak to us with no words. The same nature dwells in you. You are the source. Imagine, without you, there is no tree!
You have that silence coming out from you. Wish I could die one day too 😅 but that's just a thinking since the ego still hangs on. If this life isn't my last, I can't even imagine how it'll go. I can't imagine myself living a next life, it's nightmare!
How pleasing to see the coming out of waking up. Tell me how do you see the oneness is what. You use emptiness a lot. How else can that be defined for the purpose of understanding?
you cant define undefinable ,there is no words because existence is non existence on meta level. "Moment" is good example, it comes and goes , becoming past or future depending or your perspective ,but in reality you just are,the present moment,can you define that?no because its constantly fleeting. Everything happened already, the big flash ,the spiritual god(unconditional love) meeting material god(the void),its the source of duality ,the "i am" saviour, its the story of samsara wheel of life. We just spawn in ceirtin points of samsara to experience memory,maybe have some fun .
@@mast3r346 thank for your comment. That question was directed to Suzanne an it was to encourage her to dive deeper. And that is possible. The realisation of the essential nature mind is really just the beginning of the dawn of wisdom. Now her life is only going to get going deeper and deeper with every breath.
Disfruta, conecta desde el corazón... Toda tu energía está en la mente!... Deja de perderte en un laberinto de conceptos... Ese es el verdadero infierno. Practica Zhineng Qigong y comprenderás la vida desde el corazón, no desde la mente. La vida se comprende desde el corazón, no desde la mente...
I’m so tired of feeling so disconnected with myself and what seems like the human experience 😢 I literally cannot take this torture anymore I just long for the feeling of just more peace and feeling like me
What a lot of people are describing here sounds like like “awakening” to me and more like the anxiety symptom called Depersonalization/Derealization. Often times it can feel like a new reality has dawned because of the strange sensation it brings, but it’s actually a common anxiety response even found in animals. Rest assured that whatever you are feeling is a natural biological process, nothing more. I encourage you to look into DP/DR and seek help if you can. Much love
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When my son was growing in his mothers belly, I couldn't stop thinking about what it must be like to think before we have words. What it must feel like to be completely loved and embraced and cared for in every way before you even have words to describe that sensation. How does one pray from that state of wholeness and bliss? How does one exist before words complicate things into smaller and smaller separations? How do we return to that? It feels like we spend all of our lives trying to return to that state of being. In the end, the meaning we seek is Being. Suzanne, thank you for sharing your thoughts. From this light to yours, keep shining.
take heroic doze of chrystal lsd and find out yourself what means to "i" trully die and be embraced by uncoditional love
In my experience, we're all on a path to understanding birth and death are two sides of the coin of life.
We must first become that which we despise so we can know the unknowable (duality). We desire unconditional love, yet learn to be conditional hate. Enlightenment, for anyone, is the break in the wall of self-made delusional suffering. Once we step through into the light of understanding, we cannot go back, but once we realize everyone else is trapped in their own prison of the Self, we either run forward into the oblivion of no-Self (Suzanne) where those still imprisoned believe us to be insane, or we hide in the shadows of the Great Illusion of existence until we succumb to the existential end. Either way, once awakened, you will never want to go back to sleep.
Lastly, we must know that those who sleep, like day walking zombies, do not want to be awakened, and you can not help them. You can not.
People may say they wish for Enlightenment, but they are ultimately not prepared to do the work that is required for change. In this, they will never know Love or Truth because the unconditional Love we seek IS the work and IS the action of the verb that our limiting languages so readily are taught to confuse us from the moment we are born to keep us in our Illusion till death.
Believe🤍
I wonder the same because all i got was hate
The fetus doesn't know that it's "completely loved".
"Nirvana is not the blowing out of the candle. It is the extinguishing of the flame because day is come." - Rabindranath Tagore
This. ^^
Wow!! I really like that
Damn I'm bout to write this down lol
Hello, illusory ego here. Thanks for the video. It's really comforting to see and realize that awakening isn't something that only mythical figures and the archetypal monk get to have, with an insane amount of practice and a insane amount of time. I realize more and more that Reality truly does not depend on any practice, philosophy, belief, amount of time...The modern Buddha looks just like you and me, making TH-cam videos and talking in plain English.
It is truly settling in lately how much my own seeking works against me (or rather, for my own perpetuation). Meanwhile the philosophies and practices and communities reveal themselves as systems of seeking: built by seekers, for the past-time of seeking. There is no end to it, and yet it seems like this endless seeking is the final disillusionment: the paradox of seeking which dissolves into non-seeking. In the same sense that this intense suffering becomes the fuel that leads to non-suffering.
But I don't know. I don't know what I am doing. I don't know anything. I have realized all this, all of what you are alluding to, several times, for moments or days or months at a time. I fall back into it; a fear slithers its way into the back of my consciousness and I'm born again. It is the most intense suffering and horror I can imagine: to know Absolute freedom and to slip and fall back into illusion. The fear itself is an indication of my desire not to "lose" it, and in that very act seperation is implied. After this my mind becomes consumed by the desire for transcendence; I simultaniously watch myself feed into its own paradox.
I suppose in the end its a clensing process: every time I find my way "back" it is only when I have found the strength to surrender to an even greater fear than the last, and succumb to the futility of effort. I let that fire consume me whole and trust that it is the only thing there IS. I don't know how long it will take, but I sure pray that someone real can come to help me, and I can help them. Thank you for your video, you give me strength and hope to perservere despite the pain. [I say in frustration as I continuily contradict my own insight XD]
this comment is quite profound. how has the last 10 months been for you?
So beautifully written, resonates a lot
"This was never an out." That hit the mark for me. 🤩 This is the wisdom found in no escape.
I feel a lot of sadness/ aloneness she feels is the repressed emotional trauma surfacing, now that the ego is dissipating (with her actions).
I am somewhere there as well, so I empathise ❤
It will take time - our egos like to cling onto the certainty of "what we have learned this world is like". ❤
Many ways to adress it; a therapist is a good idea (if possible), finding people struggling with similar challenges (offline or online), meditation, past-authoring by Jordan Peterson are some useful tools on the way there... Much Love
I totally agree. This was just what I needed to learn today. I'm going to go write it down.
Yea that was a hard hitter for me too
Aleister Crowley has helped me understand this a lot in what I feel are helpful ways. He talks about yoga as the Union of subject and object - a marriage of two separate elements. Like when a sperm cell fertilizes and egg and both are essentially destroyed in the process, but a new thing comes about. He says “we are divided for loves sake, for the chance of Union.” So love is the uniting of two estranged elements that destroys both and creates a new thing, which then seeks love with the other itself. It’s this ongoing process of isolation and Union that never stops but the catalyst or the essence of the whole thing is Love.
you have helped me to understand that I perhaps do not want to go all the way to this level of awareness at this point in my life. Deconstructing and zooming out seems helpful, but only to the level of connection to planetary life and nature. On top of this, thank you! I think I'm out to experience my illusions for now :) 💚 in knowledge that they do not exist, but are real all the same by the simple merit of the there-being of experience. yay absurdism! Would still love to hear the story with your friend
I think to think that they, you, etc. do not exist is maybe an illusion, or a delusion, itself. We're in the space of the mind, so everything is, to some degree, constructed, right? Even that construction of nothingness and detachment from I seems to be that. If I is a coping mechanism than Not I most certainly is, it seems to me. Either way, I guess what matters is that it works for you, truly?
The mind is never prepared for this awareness because an awakening means the death of the ego so it would do anything to distract you or trick you from reaching that state, your own thoughts.
Spiritual awakening. The dark night of the soul, followed by the void. ❤️
You have built a community here…through the dying process which happens many times in a given life…the community is a gift to All✡️💟☮️
I definitely have the longing in my heart for the Truth and I pray God keeps it there . Above all else I wish to see . And the rest of my days here build connections based on the Truth of our hearts Divinity .
The silence ant the end while gazing at the world around you...♡
In my experience you don't become nothing, you become a new thing. But it feels like nothing for a long time because you've let everything go and it's all you've ever known. If you're carrying your bag and you drop it, there's nothing in your hands but the hands remain the hands. People believe they're the bag when in reality they're the hands. You mention yourself that there is experience. There can not be nothing when there is experience. It's just that you realize "you"re not the one making decisions anymore. Things happen, you notice things happening, you notice internal life, you see yourself taking action. "You" are dead, but the thing remains and that thing is you.
I also understand this in the sense of, I think a lot of people are still heavily focused on the idea of no one, because of how long they forced certain things and people to relate to them that they don’t relate with anymore, so their apparent falling away is so focused on this idea of no one bc in order to accept themsleves again they have to let go of so many things they “don’t like” anymore that they completely related to themselves in the past. Like I’ve noticed most people actually relate so much to themselves based on their immediate environment and what they are used to from growing up completely regardless of their actual preferences or lack of, and that’s what seems to create obligations and feelings of unworthiness based on apparent comparison and just things that the person feels extremely attached too but doesn’t actually like. It creates this extreme sense of individuality that divides people even in small ways, like small personality differences that prevent certain people from creating relationships with certain others all because of apparent conditioning that instills fear of certain behaviors which leads to extreme apparent misinterpretation and just otherness I guess. In order to drop this you have to see that you were never doing it, and the people around you also were never doing it. But I also agree with you where you will still be something like these certain characters, all on their own paths and that there will actually always be a location of me it seems, even though it’s not personal. And a location of all the other mes, and that that seems to mean something, even tho it is not personal
Or maybe not location, but I definitely still believe in some sense of uniqueness. Including and because of location I guess. Like…. The simple fact of skin/eye and hair color… like I think these differences are simply beautiful and awe striking just as nature is. if I’m ever zoning out with a person it’s because I am observing them but as I would a beautiful plant. It’s basically what she is saying… how everything is the same in that way. But something about me still observes this so strongly, but completely neutrally in the sense of what is normally used to compare, but I am still comparing…. But it doesn’t mean anything… but it kinda does. But completely not in any sense of worthy or un worthy ness or anything ljke that. I guess I am saying something here doesn’t like the idea of or the emphasis of complete neutrality or their not being an actual location of me or anyone else bc everything is so vibrant bc of location…. Idk. Maybe that is still what she is saying lol… that its all equally unique or rare or special whatever you want to say… so it doesn’t even need to be acknowledged
"Burn in the fire of unconditional love" - this is so poetic and beautifully said. Love all of you.
Suzane, I am getting your videos recommended in my feed these days, I find the titles and the whole aesthetic of calmly sitting in a cemetery fascinating - so I ‘ve started watching you. And wow… I do not grasp everything yet but I cannot stop watching, there is something very alluring here. I do agree with you that accepting the ego, the I, is illusionary is liberating (I have experienced and “felt” strongly the concept of egodeath through psychedelics).
I will keep following your work and will watch more of your past videos (and like you i use “i” and “you” linguistically mostly). Keep up the good work!
We are machines with competing desires. The desires are carrots on sticks, like Suzanne says. If we could fulfill our desires completely they would disappear and we would no longer have them, we would no longer be motivated to do anything. But that's not what life wants. For some reason unknown to us, whatever created life wants life to keep trying, thus the desires persist.
Thank you❤
The TH-cam algorithm recommended your channel. So I've been hearing you state a lot about emptiness and void. As I a child, I've been on a quest to seek answers about life, I've had glimpses of my past lives, I was brought up Catholic, but it wasn't answering my questions. Until I started listening to talks from Swami Sarvapriyananda and the philosophy behind Advaita Vedanta, I have fully become aware and realized the truth. I believe Buddha was very close but he erred in stating all is void, all is emptiness. I've realized it's a total 180 from Buddhism, in that all is Consciousness. And I'm not talking about what neuroscientists believe, that consciousness is an epiphenomena of brain activity. I'm talking about the foundation of all existence. In Advaita Vedanta, you can discern between the seer and the seen by making a distinction between that which is transient or temporary and that which is eternal and unchanging. Your body, your thoughts, your emotions, your mind (the contents of your mind) are all transient, therefore illusory. They are not our true nature. What is our true nature is the Eternal Witness of all our experiences. From 10 yrs of age to now, you have physically transformed, your body is not the same as before, your thoughts have changed (how many times does your mind change in a day?), your emotions fluctuate. Basically all these experiences or material objects are transient, but are witnessed by an unchanging awareness. Anything that can be perceived is an illusion. The same awareness you had at age 10 until now remains unchanged, untarnished and unaffected by experiences or objects. It is not your awareness which suffers, or shares in joyful experiences. Consciousness is Eternal and everywhere, not empty or void. I had the experience of the Eternal Consciousness which pervades the entire existence in a dream. In that dream, I was everything and everywhere at once. It was the most enlightening experience of my life. We are like waves in the ocean, rising and existing temporarily in many forms from the ocean. The waves cannot exist without the water in the ocean. Likewise, we as temporary corporeal vessels, which are subject to pain, suffering, joy, and pleasure cannot exist without the one true Consciousness. The hardest part is letting go of what you perceive as your mind, body, ego & experiences. Anything which can be perceived by the eternal Consciousness is not your true nature. Everything is momentary and temporary and cyclic. The only thing that is unchanging is Consciousness. You probably know the meaning of the mantra AUM aka "OM." A = the waking state, U = the dream state, M = the deep sleep state. Throughout these 3 transient states is the underlying unchanging observer, namely Consciousness. That is the silence which follows "OM." Neuroscientists will state that deep sleep is the absence of consciousness. They couldn't be further from the truth. When in deep sleep, we are pure Consciousness. Deep sleep is not the absence of consciousness, but rather the absence of experience. That is why when we awaken we know that we dreamt, but in between dreams there were periods of nothingness or blackness, the absence of experience. There had to be an observer to be aware of this absence. This can be formulated into a philosophical equation: Consciousness + Object = Experience. Remove the object and we have no experience, we are only pure Consciousness. This is the true underlying nature of everything. It is not emptiness or void, there is only Consciousness which pervades the entire universe. Just like the water in the ocean, water pervades throughout the ocean and manifests as waves. We are the waves, and we return to the ocean when we reach the shore. 🙂✌
Thank you!!! For everything including your humility. Thanks for not having an intro advertisement like most other videos. I love how you get right into it.
We are all just songs echoing through the infinite, fleeting and ephemeral.
Hi Suzanne. You’re very comfortable in silence. It takes strength and an acceptance that the message has been delivered and nothing more need be said. More and more I have the need to be silent when in conversation and just listen. Knowing by doing such a simple thing I will gain more insight into a person. I have a quotation tattooed along the outside of my forearm that reads, ‘Those who know do not say. Those who say do not know.’ I think about this a lot, and it gives me peace of mind I can control something in this construct we call life. 😊
I love you.
Rumi was a good poet . Sending you lots of 💙💛
It seems like, if I let go in this way….that I will end up doing nothing at all in my life. 😢. That I will loose interest in my family, my passions, my business…any “forward” motion of this human existence…
I feel the same way 😢 I feel troubled connecting to my love ones and life already
Probably not. You will still do everything that you would do otherwise but without the sense of need or urgency. Because of course what will be will be.
Im glad you all found each other
THE infinite being explodes into countless pieces, each having its own FREE WILL. ALL will take multiple highways and byways, from the heights of Heaven, even to the depths of Hell. until all come to LOVE, through which is recognized our ONENESS in the infinite being. Yet never ever loosing ourselves, since God gives forever. But bringing with us the richness of our experience. For to dance in the Glory of Glories, the HEAVEN above all heavens, which even now IS. THE CREATOR ITSELF, ALL IN ALL...
Im nearly 3 years into - having another person seemingly trigger a lot of this…process. I can only describe this as the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I found your channel a few months ago. The suffering of this is not only inevitable, it seems unending. I hear the message and the pointing…and most things I can allow or let go of. Except for one. And if I can for a moment - it returns to trigger more pain.
Because there's untapped potential inside of you. Terrany and evil is pulling at your strings because once they come undone your capable of manifesting positivity and light. As above so below, The cause of the light within can be an effect of your suffering. You could be the bridge for so much positivity. Trust in your path. Those of us walking the path along side you do and we believe in you. Have a bright festive season! The best gift is the Light coming fourth.
It can feel unending whatever you are going through but trust it is not, it will pass.
Have you heard of Maharishikaa Preeti? I'm thinking her words and methods to possibly help you with the pain.
Much love
I hear you. I stayed in a relationship with a narcissist for far too long. The repercussions of her after the fact was what destroyed me, all mental resources diverted to her. I'm glad to say it's finally losing its hold on me.
Ditto my advice re: Kiran Trace. Look her up.
In every video of yours that I have seen, you give that same smile when you say that there is nothing. You look so relieved when you say it. I think I can relate to that feeling.
If energy and consciousness are not one in the same, then I think your assessments would probably be correct. But if they are one in the same, then maybe it's more like matter doesn't matter, only intent matters.
If you love Me, love My words.
Heart (Luke 12:34) = Authority (Mark 1:22) = Perception (John 14:15-21) = Kingdom (Mark 12:28-34)
After the ME drops.. every visitor comes to greet the new no you. Yet there is now the Self as the self to re look at these. It's not easy. Great posting.
I think for me the biggest thrill is to see the lovely mystery of this life, the ordinary life. Just the fact that the body works, we all live in this beautiful, physical world. This feels soooo precious in the context of the nothingness on one hand and the fullness on the other ... The obvious ordinary nothingness when I close my eyes and the emotions and thoughts pass by my mind. And the nothingness of the inevitable end of this particular physical existence as a person living here! The end of life as experienced by the disappearance of the bodies of my loved ones...
This is so beautiful against the backdrop of the thunder the airplanes the traffic noise and wind this amazing silence, thank you!
can't wait to hear your story with your friend!
Authentic and honest- thanks for making sharing these messages and thoughts.
Haven't seen all of your videos fully coz we don't have to, just by reading your headlines we know what you gonna say & where are your energy levels are. God bless beautiful! ❤️🙏
I feel a lot of sadness/ aloneness you feel is the repressed emotional trauma surfacing, not that the ego is dissipating (with your actions).
I am somewhere there as well, so I empathise ❤
It will take time - our egos like to cling onto the certainty of "what we have learned this world is like". ❤
Many ways to adress it; a therapist is a good idea (if possible), finding people struggling with similar challenges (offline or online), meditation, past-authoring by Jordan Peterson are some useful tools on the way there... Much Love to you.
Danke!
Thanks so much Jan! ♡ ♡ ♡
I love that you leave the long pauses.
Thanks, Suzanne, for sharing 🙂🙃.
I’ve been doing this alone me for three years. It’s hard, I don’t have anyone in my life who is going through this and whom I can share. A man I met triggered me and forced my awakening journey.
Cool
Same here, 2 1/2 years of isolation, a man came into my life and triggered all my past traumas which lead me to multiple dark nights of the soul
It's the road less travelled.., to becoming your own best friend and teacher. You can do this, yes you can 😘
🥰🤗 Thank you 😊
Thank you for giving voice to this. ❤
"Unconditional love" is a great term. It implies love all the time for everyone and everything.
I would add to your comment: “no matter what”
It doesn't imply, but states clearly, "love without condition".
I'm not religous. But isn't that "unconditional love" what Jesus brought into the world with his Christian religion? "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:43-48). That's unconditional love. While in the older Jewish Torah (Exodus 21-23) it says "you are to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise." Perhaps the West is going backwards by abandoning Christianity.
But humans don't love unconditionally...only god can love you unconditionally
Thanks for sharing
wow - and thank you
In the ultimate truth "illusory self" and "God" are equal🙏❤
Hey Suzanne. I am you and you are I, but aside from the everlasting dance of words,sounds and vibrations…
I want you to continue your flow as you are perfect as you are but don’t block rebirth if it comes knocking on the gate less gate.
I know you know what I’m talking about. You’re a clean slate or void as you mention it at this time, but when the personality is dead, the individual that is in unity with all becomes revealed.
Sending you peace, bliss and love! Love you! BE well!
Thanks Sweet Heart♡
Thank you!
There is a word... unconditional.
Thats what I ues to love you ALL.
Everyone of us and every thing that is here now.
thank
"God is love. Our God is a consuming fire."
Thank You❤️🔥
It's funny, if theres no me, how is Suzanne so earnest and sincere ☺️. these talks makes me feel strange sometimes, but I know, the strange, honest truth of buddha, and that being your simple self is not exclusive to samsara, I just feel so attuned when I come home wit the oness of body, being, emptiness, helping me negagate and confront and, even replace on over all my insane crap, and earnestness! 😅😊. a true bodhissatva! ☺️💟
Clarity comes with the brevity of a lightning strike, and that maybe once a year. It keeps me searching.
God bless you, thank you for what your energy is passing to us.
from nothing comes everything and new life of beauty
Thanks
Thank you for sharing, making me want to know more and experience the true self
ty for sharing ❤....I' m alone in this....
Apparently, you are not alone.
Nailed it! Good talk. Great clarity.
Exactly🏵️
I understand you 🙏🙏🙏
Get a dog,feel what unconditional love is and I promise a answer for some of them open ends you speak of...all yous reading adopt a dog or buy a puppy and learn from him or her,they are zen masters and Great teachers,they will help you connect with other people you need in your life and help bring a solidifying satisfaction to the "not knowing"...I've been through the darkest darks and could not and would not have made it with out the guidance of 4 legs..get a dog💚🐶💙🐾
Hi .... I hope and trust you're well.. 😊.
After 6 years its appears I am finally coming out of the dark consciousness.
I would highly recommend drawing light from the left of yourself.... Into Your chakras.
Subtle drawing of light to your chakras through the left hand side of your body.
Be blessed my friend.
There is a lot of strength to have abide in you from the light... Don't worry so much about the heart.....
Light from your left 👌.. *
Love to ya x
Miss Suzanne, I wish I could talk to you. We could compare suffering. I'm an old man. Nights ago I dreamt I was acknowledged by a sangha as a venerable old monk. Oft have I wondered why I have lived so long. And I realize now it was so I could hear you and talk to you this moment. Take heart. And blessings be upon you.
I am having this emptiness since last 12 months.. trying to divert my attention to my hobbies but this emptiness she leaving me still so fresh
After this suffering I have discovered myself more in deep sense what I am doing why I am here which I am still persuing
Don't resist feel into emptiness fully in body.. ❤
Healing is fun!
Sounds like a bestseller.
I had a similar awakening but i didn't completely allow the separation of thought and consciousness to take place. I feel so dumb to have snapped out if it. It seemed so easy when i stumbled into it. Yet now i can not find the way back. 😒
It sure is triggering all of those things as you said :) I dont really know if this is what I want....But today it was clearly seen that what I have been using to try to navigate through this world is nothing but a traumatic feedback loop...I wrote this....
'Seems that I am nothing but a traumatic feedback loop trying to heal trauma through none other than the loop... The loop is dead... A cycle of a wounded child trying to heal itself by recreating the tragic relationship with its mother through other relationships... Haha how the hell was that ever going to work.... The feedback loop is dead matter... An old narrative maybe constructed in order to feel safe once... But now it's outdated, worn out, dying, dead... Proven to not work'
Felt like sharing this incase it resonates/helps or gives insight to anyone.....Thank you Suzanne for these videos....I feel that you are the 'help' the support that I need right now...I totally agree, how the hell could anyone go through this alone! Lots of love ❤
the loop is fed by unconditional love(spiritual force), which wants to expand,heal,save the matter (void force ).
Its pointless because everything is already complete,everything already is where it needs to be .
Its your choice with which force you want to associate because you cant be passive in a wheel of life .
There's sadness being conveyed in your videos, you're seeing the world for what it is....tangled mass of suffering. Once you've moved past this stage the real awakening begins and in it the true form of letting go.
The fakeness can never come back the ignorance can never come back.
And that's "ok"
Hugs.
I hate that 😢 i wanna go back to living in ignorance and feel human again
It's ok
To "hate "is to regress.
Don't do it
Hugs
I'm hearing the experience of union, our natural state. The relief of separation.
aw stop it, you’re killing meee . . 💥 ah, there’s no way to control it. it’s totally automatic. all of my systems are down (x3) 👻 automatic
What a angel ur wisdom is very deep u have find truth
The most beautiful things in life you can not see or touch, they are are felt by the soul.
Just follow the path of your dreams not the Highway of somebody else his expectations.
As one who is going through this I will add "it's rough is an understatement" but it gets easier.
Suzanne Non-duality
all I can say is thank you for sharing with us...who still are dying...
Words become so ineffectual but the meaning is clear.
,,,When you smile, you feel joy
💗
🌠
Suzanne, 🙏for bringing such life to death.
F@*k, you’re now even making it attractive! (He says with his heart skipping a few beats 🙃)
Don’t make me wait for your stories😊
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You may want to connect to Kiran Trace. She also experienced awakening and the removal of the buffer of ego. She navigated and learned some things. There are others who have met the truth and found it is not the end of the journey.
She had to figure it out on her own with a lot of old trauma to release. She may yet be of service to you.
🌷
🌵🌺
Now you must learn to live in the world, that is a daily job.
Yesterday subs at 8k, today almost 11k
Much of this I did alone and I understand completely what is being said here…all the layers and deeper and deeper complexity but all in some essences leading to simplicity. If anyone as watched the movie Dune where his hand is in the box and the extreme pain almost becomes unbearable this can capture a bit of it…lean into the pain and suffering and reliance heavily on lots and lots of researching and reading and reflection helped me. I think there is always more learning and things can always be said in many different ways kinda reminiscent of Anekantavada. In some ways also what’s called the Dark Night of the Soul and the Maya/Mitote is seen more clearly. The conclusion I have some to is that Love is what can fill this new found void. Empty myself so I become less and Love becomes greater and I gathered that from New Testament authors and Islamic philosophers such as Rumi and looking into the Kabbalistic teachings of Judaism as reference points in our human experience . Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Taoism also provide a very very valuable framework when interpreting all of the immense amount of data.
❤❤❤🎉
Fear is an illusion
There are no human words to describe the indescribable. One can’t grasp any word with our five senses nor can we grasp emptiness. And the mind, as useful it might appear on the surface, appears as a hindrance the deeper we descent. Truth becomes tainted, corrupted, by words swelling from the mind. Nature is always true. The tree behind you is true nature. The tree can speak to us with no words. The same nature dwells in you. You are the source. Imagine, without you, there is no tree!
when you are ready the teacher will show up. In your case, you and He were each others teachers.
You have that silence coming out from you. Wish I could die one day too 😅 but that's just a thinking since the ego still hangs on. If this life isn't my last, I can't even imagine how it'll go. I can't imagine myself living a next life, it's nightmare!
How pleasing to see the coming out of waking up. Tell me how do you see the oneness is what. You use emptiness a lot. How else can that be defined for the purpose of understanding?
you cant define undefinable ,there is no words because existence is non existence on meta level.
"Moment" is good example, it comes and goes , becoming past or future depending or your perspective ,but in reality you just are,the present moment,can you define that?no because its constantly fleeting.
Everything happened already, the big flash ,the spiritual god(unconditional love) meeting material god(the void),its the source of duality ,the "i am" saviour, its the story of samsara wheel of life.
We just spawn in ceirtin points of samsara to experience memory,maybe have some fun .
@@mast3r346 thank for your comment. That question was directed to Suzanne an it was to encourage her to dive deeper. And that is possible. The realisation of the essential nature mind is really just the beginning of the dawn of wisdom. Now her life is only going to get going deeper and deeper with every breath.
we both wear red beanies 🤓
Disfruta, conecta desde el corazón...
Toda tu energía está en la mente!...
Deja de perderte en un laberinto de conceptos...
Ese es el verdadero infierno.
Practica Zhineng Qigong y comprenderás la vida desde el corazón, no desde la mente.
La vida se comprende desde el corazón, no desde la mente...
I’m so tired of feeling so disconnected with myself and what seems like the human experience 😢 I literally cannot take this torture anymore I just long for the feeling of just more peace and feeling like me
What a lot of people are describing here sounds like like “awakening” to me and more like the anxiety symptom called Depersonalization/Derealization. Often times it can feel like a new reality has dawned because of the strange sensation it brings, but it’s actually a common anxiety response even found in animals. Rest assured that whatever you are feeling is a natural biological process, nothing more. I encourage you to look into DP/DR and seek help if you can. Much love
It's all just memory isn't it? No memories, no person. Only now.