I can’t keep this up anymore
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 พ.ย. 2024
- Bit personal on main thanks for listening
Vlog channel / evanedinger
Thank you so much for watching! Hope you enjoyed it!
If you're new to my channel and videos, hi! I'm Evan Edinger, and I make weekly "comedy" videos every Sunday evening. As an American living in London I love noticing the funny differences between the cultures and one of my most popular video series is my British VS American one. I'm also known for making terrible puns so sorry in advance. Hope to see you around, and I'll see you next Sunday! :)
If you want to know HOW I make my videos including gear, lighting, all the tiddly bits that connect it all together, (with cheaper alternatives and kit I used to use), I've listed each item, what it's great at, and why I use it on the gear section of my website here:
www.evanedinge...
Otherwise: here's a quick list of some of my kit without descriptions from the above link:
Camera: Sony A7siii
geni.us/Evana7...
Main Lens: Sony 24mm f/1.4 G-Master
geni.us/Evan24
Secondary Lens: Sony 16-35mm f/2.8 G-Master
geni.us/Evan1635
Main Light: Aputure 120d mkii
geni.us/Evan120d
Shotgun Microphone: Sennheiser MKH-416
geni.us/Evan416
Really useful SSD: SanDisk Extreme Portable 2TB
geni.us/EvanPo...
The background music I use is all from Epidemic Sound! I highly recommend it: geni.us/EvanEp...
Store: (LUTs, Presets, & Prints) ► evanedinger.com...
Patreon: / evanedinger
Second Channel: / evanedingertravel
Twitter: / evanedinger
Instagram: / evanedinger
Facebook: / evanedinger
Discord: / discord
Twitch:(4 days a week!) ► / evanedinger
Evan my dude. I say this to every TH-camr getting burnt out. Just make videos you enjoy. Make the content you like rather than what the algorithm decides. As a content consumer, I have the best time seeing people being passionate about their subject.
You talked about travel vlogs being on your second channel, but you expressed working on them makes you happy. Promote them, get them here, make the channel an expression of your joy rather than a chore. If you’re happy, then it translates, and you’ll build a base of viewers who get buzzed of your excitement and enjoy the direction.
exactly!! I never thought I'd genuinely care about lighting in videos but when Evan started getting hype about it I started getting hype about it. The happiness always shows through the video.
I’ll drink to that. In fact, I probably subscribed to this channel precisely because I could see myself drinking pints with Evan at the pub talking about these topics. Sidenote: I am an American who spent a good bit of time hanging out in the pubs of London back in the ancient times of the early 90s. I didn’t know anything about a Sunday publishing schedule and don’t care. When I see your videos pop up, I watch them and that’s great. So Evan, buddy, mate, cut yourself some slack and just go hang out with some friends and talk. Recharge. Come back here whenever you want, at whatever pace you want. We’ll be here. 😊
Problem is, when is your job you stop having that luxury
I just like it when he sits on the couch and talks about stuff that makes him laugh, it makes me laugh! Now that’s a good job if you can do it!
*This*
But also him making some secondary contact by way of a contact list that can update across platforms as things change.
He can survive with a core audience returning as he returns and consuming what he is willing to put out...
But the algorithm is a harsh mistress.
Once it was enough to engage with a doobly doo
Then you had to subscribe
Then it was subscribe and choose the bell icon
Then it was sub with the bell icon, doobly doo engagement *and* clicking on the majority of their posted output
or else it didn't think you liked that creator anymore
and would let their new posts slide down the listings until you weren't informed of them.
Gotta change with the times
*and* hedge your bets
to protect against the times changing too fast to keep up with/going in a direction you can't work with.
Here's hoping he finds his way and also keeps in contact with those who will always give a roll of the dice to any project he might be putting out.
I'm a 73 year old, semi-retired professor who has been enjoying your videos for years. I can't tell you how many times your delight with learning, your contagious giggles, and your authenticity overall have lifted my spirits, roused my curiosity, and given me a silly giggle of my own. Thank you so much for all you've shared. But it's vital to share with yourself, as well. Time for friends, no demands, spontaneity, aimless enjoyment - we all need those moments in our lives, preferably some every day. If streaking is seductive, make a streak of finding time for those each day. Add two weeks in the mountains or a beer garden or the sea now and then. I bet it would make the busy streaks happier, too.
You have no idea how helpful and inspiring that is, as an almost twenty-something year old student working to the bone, reading this makes a big difference.
This was so lovely to read
This whole comment thread gives me hope yet for humanity; thank you for sharing something so heartfelt
This comment right here.
It's okay not to be able to do everything
It's okay to give up (let go, stop doing) some things even though in the past you committed to them. It's okay to choose well-being over continuing something just because you said before that you would do it, if it is now impacting your well-being in a negative way.
It's not okay in his mind.
Here's an analogy for you, say you're playing a video game, and you get to the final boss, but you can't beat them no matter what you do. In this scenario, no one else knows you are playing this game, or if they do, they aren't fussed if you beat it, so it's okay to give up and not finish the game. But you wouldn't, would you? Because you'd feel like you failed if you did that, it may not matter to anyone else if you finish the game, but it matters to you. That's what not being able to do something you really want to do feels like.
@@Tillyard86 oh shut up
As someone who has adhd it doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself this that’s not how my brain works 😂
@@Tillyard86 to use your analogy, we know he’s playing he game, he just told us.
If his winning scenario is to make the final boss like him then he just needs to put out content he loves, not what’ over 50% of us love.
Sure, he may lose subs, but they’ll be backfilled with folks who enjoys new direction.
My duties make content he enjoys to stop feeling like this is job, this is a hobby that can bring in money, do what you love and your passion, wool, sure I’m bringing the people who love what you love.
All I'm hearing is that you don't ever give yourself the appreciation you deserve. That you're only able to celebrate your own success in retrospect because you're not prepared to accept you're good enough right now.
Your followers (myself included) are here because we all see the awesome in you. Here, and now.
I am a pensioner and have watched your channel for a number of years because I like you, whatever content or quality you produce. Don’t be so hard on yourself x
Thanks for sharing, you're one of the only youtubers i still watch - a true legend
Evan, please be as kind and patient with yourself as you are towards your audience. As someone who struggles with similar perfectionism and control issues, YOU 👏 ARE 👏ENOUGH 👏 You have accomplished so much and worked SO HARD, please let yourself revel in that. There is nothing to fix, just to discover and explore. I hope you are doing okay underneath what you share with us. And thank you for being so candid.
Exactly this! ❤
Chiming in to say I agree with Taylor. Evan, you deserve good things just being who you are. You are enough.
@@dragonwings36 syncapations
This video is the very human embodiment of the saying “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”
The reason I’ve come back time and time through the years is your content is comforting. It’s like catching up with an old friend you aren’t really in each others lives, but you like who they are and enjoy supporting them through all their accomplishments. You can’t do everything, and no one expects you to. Be easy on yourself, do what you enjoy and the people who matter will stick around.
Evan, I felt emotional for you watching this. You HAVEN'T let anyone down. You're doing a fantastic job just being you. Stop the Sunday streak and focus on yourself. We'll be here when you choose to come back. You have given us so much. Make sure to give you just as much as well.
It’s ok to not be ok. You don’t need to be perfect or do everything. Just be you.
Evan, thanks for being open about this. As a fellow content creator, I don't think there's ever been a video I've related to more strongly. All I can say is, let's stop taking everything so seriously and just put 'enjoying life' above 'doing everything right'. You're one of the TH-camrs I really look up to, it's not just about big productions and massive views. It's about heart, which you have plenty. Let's feel good about dropping some juggling balls every once in a while 😅
The irony is that I can pretty much guarantee your videos are in the top, top percentage of quality content and production on TH-cam. I watch people reacting to your videos and they're always so complimentary and grateful for your content. You're not failing at all in OUR eyes, you're top-notch, I can completely reassure you of that. You're being too perfectionist, which I guess is your nature, but really need to learn the concept of 'good enough'. You're way, way too hard on yourself, Evan. We love you and won't mind if you want to take a break at all, and will be waiting here to catch up with you when you've recharged. Take care of yourself.
Hugs for you Evan. No-one can be all the things. There are too many things, you're not a failure. You're a human. You're allowed to be a human. A creative one. We appreciate you 💜
i think the reason we all watch you is because of how genuine you are. that won’t change no matter what happens with your skills or perceived successes and failures. i’ve been watching you for about five years and i’m a different person now too but i still appreciate you, so thank you. also might help to get off social media because nothing makes you compare yourself or feel unworthy more than social media, in full honesty.
Ivagree been watching even for about 8 years and he is such a lovable guy, genuinely brillent take a break even get away for a little while we will be here when you come back if you want to come back
I recently got off social media and it has helped me a lot
I agree! And may I add Evan brought together a community of really great people! Evan is so authentic and kind!
I am also someone who strives for excellence (for me it's in the academic/employment world). Last year, my younger brother died and my brain completely lost it. Turns out what I needed for growth and finding more joy was a psychologist and a whole lot of self reflection. I hope you find whatever it is that you need. Unrelenting standards are damaging in the long run.
Hey Evan, I've been following you for 5+ years and I follow because of your personality- your willingness to be vulnerable, your humor, your enthusiasm to learn different things (it may not be interesting to me sometimes) but regardless of your videos, you're always genuine and that's why I've been subscribed all these years. You're not failing by acknowledging your needs. You deserve the same grace you give others. As I'm sure you've read here, we're all behind you regardless of the choices you make. You're not a failure.
"I'm someone who wants to do everything and refuses to admit that he can't" - omg this is so relatable!
Fuck, I am so called out by this video. You're not alone in these feelings at all but I hope that you can find your way through and realise that you are enough, without "doing" anything, you are enough just being.
I agree that also hit me hard
Agreed, and I relate to what he said too.
"I'm at a low point of the wave right now. Just gotta catch the next wave up." This means so much to me, to know that these awful feelings aren't permanent. It's so touching to hear and heartbreaking to see you like this, Evan, but I've full faith that you can get through it and do what's right for you! ❤
I’m a mother of two children and I feel like an absolute failure almost every single day of my life. It’s OK to be vulnerable and to feel as if you can’t do it all because you really can’t do it all. Your feelings are valid and a lot of people can relate to you, thank you for sharing.
If you’re a mum of two it’s the most unlikely thing in the world that you’re ever a failure.
The fact that you get back up everyday and try again makes you a success. A really good mum never feels good enough because we will always want for more for our children.
As long as you are doing the important things, being there for your children, if you don't get the house dusted or the clothes folded or whatever you are doing the best job. Hugs.
Same! 🧡 💕 💜
That sounds depressing. Hope I don't feel that way as a mother all the time 😅
Hi Evan, I found your channel when I gave birth and I was up every 2 hours and your channel was the only one that didn't make me feel like a shit Mum. Obviously at the time I was watching a lot of mummy vloggers and trying to prep myself but after birth I couldn't watch them. I felt so alone so it was just your channel I would watch. I watched your channel so much Hubby would joke our baby was going to have an American accent. Some your videos I would watch on repeat, and even now if I've had a shit day I put them on and feel better. I felt like the biggest failure when I became a Mum, my body wouldn't work how it should, I wasn't recovering how I should my baby wasn't gaining weight my house was a disaster. I learnt very quickly I couldn't do all the things, I was spiralling.. I know it's hard to fight logic against your brain and your goals, but you can't juggle all the things. To be honest I know your channel looks better than all the other videos I watch, but I don't tune in for the fancy editing, I tune in because I like your take and opinion on things, I like your personality. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Could you save the fancy editing for your big projects and keep your Sunday videos more stripped back? Anyway I'm rambling, sending lots of positive vibes your way.
I suspect this resonates with a lot of people, Evan. I think there is a point in our lives where our career becomes all consuming, almost out of one's control. And that's when all the anxiety kicks in because you realise you're no longer exceeding expectations, but have set high expectations and are now struggle to maintain all of them. I'm not creative, I'm an engineer and I dont have the energy I once did. I get up at 7 each morning, shower, dress, drive to work, spend the day dealing with every concern that all the other engineers have, and every concern that HR and other management have, try to fight every little battle, then have to find time to do the planned work that I haven't started. Then at 7pm, I head home to cook a meal before bed and that's when the anxiety kicks in because I'm behind on everything and I'm procrastinating by watching TH-cam when I should be returning to my PC. Then weekends come and that's the time for catch up so you have to tell anyone who's still a friend that you cant meet up, and that makes you feel even more guilty and anxious.
Before you know it, you realise you've gone years without going on any vacation and haven't seen the majority of your friends and you want to be you 20 years ago.
I think this is just society 2023, sadly.
You put that well, I identify with this too
As a relatively new subscriber, I want to tell you that I subscribed not because of your content, but because of you. I'm an American studying in Ireland, away from everyone and everything I know, and I found comfort in your content comparing the US to London. I love your humor and how you express yourself. The people who have subscribed for so long stayed for you, not necessarily for the content. So do what makes you happy, and most importantly, take care of yourself. Cheers
Evan, I feel for you. Having gone through burn out myself I think you need to ask yourself why you think your not good enough. I had a lot of professional help. Perhaps consider that. It was an awful process but I feel so much more at peace having come through the process. Love your videos and sending love from Surrey.
Always remember to be kind to yourself. your real fanbase will be around no matter what you chose to do. ❤
Evan, I've been watching your channel for about 10 years now. You asked why people who have watched for a long time keep watching because your content is so different now than it was years ago... and the answer is, we watch for YOU. I looked through the comments and other people have said the same thing - watching your videos are comforting. It feels like sitting with a friend to catch up (even though it's sadly one-way). Your channel isn't just about British culture vs. American culture, or your love for making videos, it's distinctly YOU. Being someone who loves to do all the things you do, it is a challenge to balance everything and things do start falling to the wayside as you age. I've struggled with that a lot myself, and it's hard to let things go that you love doing. You'll find a new pattern of balance that works for you for a while soon... until it stops working, and then you'll have to do it over again. But you'll find your groove again. You will.
Agreed, same here. We watch Evan, not a product/Actor. The creative, funny, smart, honest, inclusive, lovable Dude.
yes 100% this! also an old viewer here
We all change during our lives - I'm nearing 62 (WHAT!) and my life and how I've lived it have changed unbelievably. I'm now self employed and outsource certain things I know I can't do well. My thoughts for you are just to follow your dreams - forget your Sunday Vlog and focus on what you want to do. Just take the leap and let go. Get a VA onboard, someone who can organise your work - I'm a VA, but I have no time. I would suggest taking a look at the Society of Virtual Assistants, you'll find someone with the qualities you need. Just take care of yourself... you aren't failing.
Ohhh, Evan . As a fellow anxious bean / perfectionist this hit hard. I'm sorry you have to feel like this, it's the worst
Sometimes, breaking the cycle not because you want to, but rather because it comes by the right time or chance, is the one true way to freeing yourself.
It's ok to say no. It's ok to say no. It's OKAY to say NO.
Evan "my older videos were more relatable."
Us, "nope, this. This is really really relatable.".
As fellow TH-cam creators who try to do everything ourselves and get content out on schedule and unable to pay for an editor too... We feel you. You are doing amazing and this was so incredibly relatable. Good job.... Also damn that light! Our light box isn't nearly so big!!
Not even a fellow youtuber here, just a random person who absolutely relates!
Not a TH-camr either, but this is honestly very relatable.
Honestly, this is oddly comforting to watch. I’ve felt the exact same way in recent years, so it’s nice to see that I’m not alone in those feelings. People always say to be kind to yourself, and for a long time I was like, “I AM, though!” When my kindness to myself was trying to force myself to learn something or to force myself to binge a popular tv show. . . That’s not really kindness. You don’t always have to be aiming for something, it’s ok to take a break now and then.
The sweater & pillow match.
Evan camouflage!
Not usually one to write comments but I have to let you know that your videos and content in general bring a lot of joy to so many. Thank you for being authentic. Thank you.
I studied audiovisual design in college and now I am a teacher at my old university. It's basically film production. One of the things I loved of my studies, and that I love to get to teach, is how, in film production ( and probably elsewhere too), there are roles. You can't make a film on your own. I love how everyone specializes in a task: directing, producing, camera, art department. Every single person is important to the project and they all care. They care by making sure they do their part to the best of their ability, and by trusting their colleagues to do their best. You can't to everything. And you shouldn't. No one is supposed to be 100% self sustained. I am a freelance video editor, I like to think that when I work for someone who has a vision, I can bring the best of myself to the job as well. It doesn't mean the person who hired me now isn't working, or has lost control of the project. It means that they are open to listening to other people who can bring a new spirit, and their best. And it allows them to do their best in their specified areas. Sometimes the best way to let a project grow is to trust others.
I've been watching on and off since I was 16, I'm 23 as of this month. I think I've been able to come back to you so often because of how much your content has changed I've grown up along with your videos. It's ok to grow and change and it's even ok to not be capable of things you use to be. I'm autistic and really get the appeal of consistency and streaks, but I'm also chronically ill and my body has never really allowed for that and in a way I think thats a good thing. Because its forced me to have to make concessions and do what's best for my own well being. Maybe cutting back to fortnightly or monthly would help, it might allow you to soley make the content you like instead of having to make a video every week and out of necessity making something you're not happy with and also take the pressure off a bit.
Oh man, same! I'm also 23 and watched Evan during my GCSES.
He's the only youtuber I'm still subscribed to
Thank you for sharing this. I have just started to watch your videos and I like your attitude. But this video is special for me. I understand your thoughts and feel with you so much! It's like "I am not alone!" I really love how you are just letting it all out so naturally. The mind is confusing. I love, that you don't censor yourself.
I don't remember if it was UK citizenship or Duolingo that got me to your channel, but for what it's worth, you come across as an awesome human being (who reminds me a tiny bit of Adam Savage which is super rad)-- anyway, I can't say anything more than this: I pop by because I like you. And for what it's worth, it's totally cool for you to do whatever it is that you'd like to. If that means slowing the pace to focus on other stuff, that's totally cool. It only requires you to give yourself permission.
You aren't giving up; life is not a conflict to be prevailed upon. They can't win if we don't keep score. Total respect and positive energy from the Colonies!
"Never good enough..." i can relate to it so much
Someone else made your sofa, sofa cushions, mirrors, lights, etc. But you brought them together to make this beautiful home and aesthetically pleasing backdrop.
Someone else picks your vegetables, they go through many different steps with many different people, until you buy them and use them to make delicious food.
Someone else flew the plane that took you to all the wonderful places you've been to and shared with us.
Everything you do relies on other people. From within your home all the way up to all the big adventures.
There is no shame in getting help with your videos, too.
If you are struggling to let someone else edit, what about have someone help with equipment setup, research and scripts? Those are still things you can have a lot of input in and adjust while actually filming, but they can also be quite time consuming where instead you could be focusing on other things.
I'm also in my early 30s now and I definitely feel the shift in friend groups. We get older, have our own families and lives. It's inevitable. Ive also had to move away from where I grew up so making new friends as an adult in a new area with no kids is really hard. This is definitely a relatable video!
So many people, organizations, businesses, twist themselves into a pretzel trying to turn what they have to offer into a scarcity offering - it can be so artificial. But Evan, your energy, focus and work IS finite and scarce. I agree - stop uploading every Sunday. Do what you love to do. When I say, sincerely "I can't wait to see your next video" that means - I sure as heck CAN wait, but will be eager to see it ESPECIALLY if I have to wait a bit. You're the best!
PS Also - can I just send you a hug?
bro i wish i had 10% of your drive, you have done so much, its ok to slow down!
I've been watching you since I was in highschool, I'm 23 now. I was interested in you being in the UK + learning German (i was in german class in hs) but now i just feel very comforted by your videos every week. No matter what the topic, I really enjoy seeing how interested you are in whatever you've decided to film about. You obviously love the process of making videos and it shows so it's nice to see how you progress over time. Every Sunday is fun, but if it's burning you out taking a break is understandable and very deserved, we'll always be here to watch!!
Same!!
You are just the loviest guy. Not only that, it’s obvious that you are super talented in so many areas it’s insane. You have a brilliant sense of humour and you was born to do this. The simple fact is you are more than good enough and we adore you! You’ll figure it out, we all have struggles like this from time to time. Be KIND to yourself. 🙏🏼 LOVE yourself cos we love ya! ❤❤❤
He’s funny and doesn’t know how entertaining he is.
I honestly can't imagine the stress of having to upload a video every week, especially when you're a perfectionist. You deserve holidays just like everyone else, and even though we enjoy your videos it's more important that you're not constantly stressed!
As others have said, deciding to stop doing something that you’ve been doing or deciding against pursuing a goal that you’ve previously set is not failure. Nobody can do everything and it’s not “giving up” to let go of some things in order to prioritize the things that you truly value. It’s certainly admirable to want to learn new skills and accomplish things but it can also become overwhelming and get in the way. FWIW, I always enjoy your content and will do so whatever schedule or type of videos you pursue.
The new skill is self care
self care hyperfocus let's gooo!
Been watching you for years, both channels. keep doing what you are doing. Great vlogs. 🕶
Once a week. Once a month, Once a year! Whatever and whenever you want to upload we are here for it and here for you. Don't do anything that makes you unhappy. It's not fair that a good person like you isn't happy.
thanks for your honesty! be yourself as you wish ❤
I found this incredibly relatable (as a freelancer myself, although a different industry)...the feeling of juggling everything yourself and yet trying to appear in perfect control, the increasing isolation when you're in your thirties as everyone seems to go a different way (and worse post pandemic as you said)...it's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to change boundaries. Love watching your videos, because you stay true to who you are.
Evan, I have ADHD and I feel the EXACT same way you do. I never feel good enough for anything, I always want to do so much, but when I start, it is so overwhelming, and I want to do it all. I hate asking for help. But, it is okay to ask for help. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. I know, it's easier said than done, but you are great at everything you do. Maybe you are just trying to do too much at once. I feel like it helps me to start one thing and make myself finish it before I start on something else. I love your vidoes, and thank you for being so open about how you feel. I thought I was the only one. ♥
Evan, you're one person, please don't be so hard on yourself. Take the final step into British life and take some well needed time off if you can!
I've watched you for the past 10 or so years, why do I keep watching? Because you're great to watch no matter the topic, when you bring something up or show an old video quite often I can remember what stage of life I was at when I watched it, from being a hungover uni student to having my dream job, to quitting my dream job and to now. You're videos are memorable because of you, yes you're editing is superb, yes the effort you put in is amazing, but we watch because of you, the gorgeous graphics are a bonus.
It is good that you made a video talking about your concerns. Talking about this will help you clear your mind and it is not only you that benefits from it. Sharing your problems is good for all of us to feel that we are not alone, that we can all find a different way to look at things. Thank you for sharing.
Really feeling this today, been sat crying and admitting that I’m not good at what I’m trying to do and I should let someone that is do it instead.
It’s really hard to find what makes us happy and it’s a constant chase to the next and the next thing.
Even though it’s hard, I’m glad you’ve shared this with us Evan. It certainly reminds me that everyone can feel this way and gives me comfort in the knowledge that I’m not alone in this feeling. ❤
I’ve been watching you for absolutely ages, truly because you pursue so many different passions. I’m pretty sure that your 17 yr old Evan would be astounded at how many things you CAN actually do now… really fucking well too. Man, being a TH-camr is such a hard job especially around self esteem… You got this Evan! True icon.
Youve been building this amazing, positive, supportive community. Now it's your time to trust that community and allow us to support and encourage you, as you so often do for us❤ Trust us, we will be here and we WANT you to feel good.
You're such a gift, Evan, I've followed your TH-cam journey for years and you always make my day better. We can't do it all, admitting that isn't a sign of failure, it's you setting your priorities and boundaries. I wish people in the media said this more often, you should find a producer and bring your skills to the table and find a producer who can do what you have less practice on. We all have something valuable to bring to the table, and by combining our strengths we discover something amazing. Team work makes the dream work 🙌
I'm a fairly recent viewer and was like damn that sounds like my adhd - googled and saw you've discussed adhd before 😅 wishing you all the best evan
Killer ending. Beyond brilliant.
It's okay to not do all the stuff all the time. Learn to take breaks this year, okay?
Fairly new to your channel but really enjoy what I've seen. You have an easy approachable/accessible style. I have read a lot of the comments and they are spot on. Those that watch you will be here whenever you are ready to post a new video. Personally I don't need 4G all singing, all dancing on every video. Some of the most enjoyable videos out there are very relaxed and "home made" . Do what you enjoy and it will come across, take time out for yourself and look after yourself. We'll see you when you're ready.
Change is not failure x
I can’t believe how unbelievably relatable this is. I have to keep up streaks, I can’t break them because I want to do it all, I just- I just juggle a lot.
I absolutely understand what you’re going through. I’m glad to have someone who might understand what I’m going through too.
Always gonna love the streak king, even if he ain’t streaking anymore. 👑
On a serious note: I’m 33 now, and I’ve been watching for ages. I was the lucky comment who got pulled for “welcome back to a man who defeated the final boss on the London property ladder.” I remember what you were going through when I was going through things in my life.
I deeply relate to the feeling of not being good enough. My world fell apart, my mother died and I filed bankruptcy and lost my ability to be in the UK… and it comes down to trying to do everything all the time. All at once.
Evan, know you’ve been there without knowing it for many people. You may be falling up the steps, but you’re still getting there. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support it and I’m sure many others will too.
I do hope you're doing alright now. 🤗
As a mid 30s viewer whos been watching since my 20s, I do find you very relatable. The 'how about that' is how my brain works and I appreciate the variety of content. I also appreciate that you are a person who needs to be more accepting of yourself and specifically the aspiration and effort you put in, I'm sure you can Google fails and find all sorts of 'first attempt in life' quotes, but just know you're not alone in feeling that you should be able to do more, and that it's ok not to be able to
I relate to this video so aggressively. It is wonderful to see you processing these emotions, these very human emotions, and also understanding you’ll catch the next wave. Much love to you Evan, keep taking care of yourself♥️
I relate so hard 😞 Thanks for sharing this.
I’ve watched you (and your hair ☺️) grow over the past few years and I’ve never once thought that you “hadn’t fulfilled my life” because the number of vlogs you produce was limited. The vlogs that I have watched over the few years have been fun, entertaining and most often amusing.
I have never watched anything that I thought I should merit your work on a levels of greatness or perfection, I’ve just sat back with a cup of tea and a biscuit and “listened” to you and never judged your presentation or editing skills.
Don’t beat yourself up matey, if you want to hang loose and not have to worry about what thought provoking Vlog topics you need to study, in order to inform, thrill and entertain us out in YT land - just put the telly or some music on and relax. Remember, in the UK and most of Europe, you are ENTITLED to take time off!! So just do it - please - I do not want to see an Evan Edinger Burnt Out production. 😯😖
You've just described something I've been going through for years at this point, and I never knew other people struggled with this, I feel so relieved.
I didn't use to think I was a perfectionist. My mom was, but I always thought "that's not me, I procrastinate all the time and I'm super casual", I don't hold streaks like you do [cause of mental illness] and that lends credence to that idea. How can you be a perfectionist and "lazy" at the same time?
But you can, and I am. The idea of collaborating on a project with someone else and trusting their vision and advice with even the most mundane things irks me to no end. Even in high school, when we would be assigned class projects I would ask if I could do the slides and presentation alone, and not be assigned a team. It didn't always work but when it did I was super happy I could talk about/create something up to my standards of quality.
When I'd be forced into a group I'd offer to put the presentation together on powerpoint and I would even do extra research on the topic for the classmates that would half-ass their parts because I wanted the overall quality of the project to be consistent.
Somehow I didn't clock I was a perfectionist until senior year, when I burned out studying for exams and fell into a deep depression [but overall aside from the first exam I actually did really good before graduating, it didn't feel that way at the time tho].
I very much think our reasons for being perfectionists come from different places however. I do wish I could do everything by myself, but that comes from my desire to not interact with other people. I dislike being social and many times I've been let down in a myriad of ways, particularly on group activities or conventions of any kind. I've developed a rather intense social anxiety disorder and I will learn anything to not have to interact with anyone aside from my close circle of friends and the fan conventions I wanna go to.
You're not failing. You're living. As you said yourself, it's ups and downs. Sometimes it feels like you can't get anything right, and other times you feel like you're in full control. The reality is somewhere in the middle. 🥰
Wow this is so honest. It's crazy how relatable it is at the same time that, listening to you talking about yourself, I felt an urge to just tell you to be kind to yourself, that you are more than enough, that if we are still here after many years is because you enjoy watching YOU, and we don't care that much about the theme, the lights, the sound, etc. I mean, I'm a teacher, I don't know the first thing about the technicalities of video making, and I bet most of your public can agree on that. Now, that being said, I did relate to your feelings, and I do understand that your perfectionism has little to do with the public, it's mostly about yourself... and that makes it much harder. I try to forgive myself for "giving up" or "not being enough" every day. It's annoying, it's frustrating, it's lonely and impossible to explain (although you did a great job of it here). But it is necessary. I have been trying to congratulate and reward myself for giving up, and that might work for you too... My newest streak is of days where I did not stress because of work, or days where I choose to be done with a project even though I don't think it's perfect yet. It sounds ridiculous, but it's kinda working for me. Kinda. I'm not as good at keeping that type of streak going. Anyhoops, I hope you can find some strategies that work for you, and some peace. I appreciate your honesty in this video, and in many others throughout the years.
I really appreciate you talking so openly about this. You don't have to be able to do everything, and it's okay to change or leave things behind that just aren't working anymore. I've been here for around 8 years and you've always been such a comforting presence, even if your content has changed. Thank you for being you ❤
Aww, Evan, I want to just give you a massive hug!! I'm the same as you, I get really overwhelmed by things I need to do and my fear of failing myself and others. It does help to let it all out, so well done for sharing your feelings with us!
I only came across your channel a few weeks ago, but I think I must watch at least one of your videos every day. I think you are absolutely brilliant, and are similar to myself (from what I've viewed anyway) on how you flap your hands when stressed, and your sense of humour, and the way your voice goes up when you think something is ridiculous...I do all that (and more) too.
You can let others help you.
You can have a Sunday off sometimes - we don't mind if you do.
Keep editing the super important ones if you enjoy that part so much and let others help with the lesser videos that you don't mind? Or get others to help and support you in other ways.
None of us can possibly do it all, and really, those of us that really enjoy your channel, won't care if you need a Sunday off, or are slightly differently edited to your usual, or if your eyes aren't quite as sparkly one week, because it's YOU that we come to watch. It's YOUR personality that makes your videos shine. And regardless of how it's edited, I always find your videos extremely informative - I can tell how much effort has gone into making your videos.
Keep doing what you do, cos regardless of fluctuations of views, your channel is brilliant, and you are absolutely awesome!
Much love to you, Evan, from Carol-Anne, East lothian, Scotland 🏴❤
16 minutes of Evan confessing he is an absolutely monumental streaker on the internet
In the 70s that meant something entirely different! 😮
@@rachele4593 It... it still does. I have no idea what OP means there. That Evan is a boat, maybe?
I feel like Evan needs a big hug.
You're not alone. It's okay to not be able to do everything.
Hey Evan,
I'm glad you're able to share this, if you feel like expressing your feelings and getting them out of the system helps you.
You might want to consider going over this with a psychotherapist. They are (also) there to help people that are in distress and have unhealthy habits. I feel like from what you said, that one might describe it as "unhealthy habits / way of thinking". This doesn't make you broken or any less human or a failure.
I don't watch every video you produce but I regularly find myself "how the hell does this guy do and know so much stuff to this detail?" It's impressive. It really is. But I understand that it can overwhelm you at the se time. Therefore my recommendation.
I concur 100%
It's the algorithm not you. Please continue making your content it will be seen by the people who matter. Please be kind to yourself x
Adjusting expectations and redefining your path are not failures, Evan! You have to pivot this mindset or you're going to drive yourself crazy (as you know.) Just know that you're doing a mature thing and realizing everything isn't possible at the level you want it at and that's okay! You always will have shifts in what is in your life (events and people) as you prioritize your life as more and more gets brought in. That's age and I know that's not a good answer. Remember that failing upwards is a good outlook, but in reality, you're not failing. You're growing. Thanks for letting me grow with you.
Couldn’t of said this better myself! ❤
Evan the last frames of this video…. Just. Yes.
You make incredible videos. And you care. And that’s why we are all here.
You are an artist, an artist can paint the picture, he doesn’t have to be the one who makes the canvas, the paint, the brushes…
Be kind to yourself. 🥰
Evan you are one of the most hard working people that I parasocially know. I also understand that I am only seeing your best self - the one you are comfortable posting to TH-cam. Hopefully you know that all the people you're comparing yourself to on social media are doing this too. Nobody is perfect, and we can only do so much on our own before we burn out. I don't believe a therapist is for everyone but it sounds like this would be something they could help you with if you're not seeing one already. Take care of yourself, you deserve a break. ❤
i don’t know what to tell you so i’ll just say: THE SWEATER✨💙💛🧡
you are a phenomenon evan, honestly a peak person and someone to look up to, that’s just from what you shared i hope you see that sometimes:)
We always appreciate your work!! Everything looks wonderful, the graphics the sound, I also really love your crew neck!! I'm glad you're so open about everything with yourself, even if it's difficult. Again I appreciate everything you've done! Its been insanely interesting to me! But breaks are necessary especially with a pressuring job like this one.
i've been watching you for years, and while not a creator, i really relate to the emotions you're going through. it's hard to accept that we can't do it all, despite our passion to. you're an incredible creator and one who has stayed genuine for over a decade. you haven't let anyone down, i promise. take some time to figure it out, we will be with you the entire way :)
Evan, you're one of my absolute favorite content creators. I think the way you always feel so genuine is a big part of why I kept coming back after the first video of yours that I stumbled on. I couldn't even tell you when or what video, but it feels like forever.
Please be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself, and know that no matter what happens, your efforts are so valuable. You've shown us that you're more than capable of doing a fantastic job at every step in the process. Remember that your content is still worth every view, like, and comment, and lessening the load on yourself by having someone help won't change that. Regardless of what you do, you'll still be one of my faves. ♥
So relatable Evan! I struggle with so many of the same issues as you’ve shared. I enjoy your content and honesty immensely. Be kind to your self and keep doing what brings you joy
I can relate. A psychologist (or a psychotherapist) can help you find what's actually most important for you and what you should leave for others. Mostly it's not about them giving you advice but helping you put your jumbled up thoughts into words so you can decide what needs to be done. They guide you through the process. Sometimes if feels like "if I go and get mental help, that means I've failed" or "but it will cost money", but you have to ask yourself which is worse, struggling with your issues for a few years and maybe successfully dealing with them, or getting a personal trainer (for your mind) so you can get it done in a few months and don't have to deal with it anymore. We're so okay with having illnesses and medical help for our bodies, but when it comes to our minds, suddenly it's only home remedies (like alcohol) and struggling in silence because help is for the weak (and so you remain weak instead of actually dealing with the issues).
I have a very broad spectrum of interests, a strong urge to micromanage everything, I'm a perfectionist, and I like to make every project a challenge (because hey, I can make it even more betterer). This has made me burn out at work (not just kinda but the several months at home legit kind) and piled up so many projects and little things in my private life that even taking out the trash is an ordeal right now. Trust me, it's not fun.
Unless you really actually NEED to do everything the way you're doing for monetary reasons, I suggest that you simply don't. Find out what matters the most. You're only one person. And even if you were two people, you'd just keep adding more projects because it's a personality trait you have. It's great in small doses but can absolutely wreck your life if left unchecked.
Part of growing as an adult is also learning to let go of what other people think. You're not beholden to the image other people might have of you, or the image you might like them to have. Not to people close to you, not to casual acquaintances, and especially not to some random people on the internet. It takes a certain amount of cohones to go and say "Yeah, I don't care, I'm going to do this" because it's the way how you want to live your life. Stop living for others and the image they have in their head of you. Live for you. Doing yourself harm because someone on the internet might get a few minutes of mild amusement is not the way to live your life. You can still learn new skills and do things, but at a reasonable, sustainable, and most importantly, enjoyable pace. Find out what works for you, not what works for others. You'll thank yourself later.
Thank you for sharing this was us. I relate at right now and it made me feel less alone ❤
It's ok to take a step back or post videos with a different kind of content. This is your channel, just do what you want! We love you because you have shared different things and thus your channel is never boring. Give yourself some slack, get some rest, and believe me your fans are not going anywhere, you're stuck with us!
I feel you dude. I'm an author and I'm constantly living in this bubble of anxiety because I find it so hard to actually write. All the life admin stuff gets in the way, and I have a disability and a kid so it's endless. Then I feel bad because I see someone else who's in a similar position and has somehow written 10 novels, and I feel like I'm lazy and awful. The truth is I'm trying my best and maybe certain things are harder for me and easier for them. Maybe they gave a team of cleaners and nannies taking care of their whole household. Maybe they just have less pain or anxiety than I do. Who knows! It's really hard to do but I try to just focus on myself and what I'm doing.
I have to say though that if I could outsource a bit of my work, I definitely would! I think if there's any way you can make that work for you it's worth another try.
That's the thing isn't it? We never really know if others have the same struggles or what's going on in the background that's different. We can only do what we can do and dagnamit that's fine. May the writing flow for you.
been watching you for seven years now (crazy how 2016 was seven years ago, god) and my simple answer to the question of why am i still watching if the content has changed is that we have all changed. expecting someone to stay the same for so long is just not reasonable and seeing you grow and evolve as a human while the viewers do the same is what i really enjoy about the internet. you are an amazing human being and sticking with you for this long has been nothing but a pleasure, excited for this new chapter for you :D
Small business blues. Xx thanks for the honesty. I'll keep watching
Your channel has changed a lot, but so have we. Your audience has grown with you, and im sure most of us stay as we like you as a person. You don't have to be perfect - no one is! I hope you are doing better soon but if you need a break we will be here for when you come back
Evan, you are wonderful. Thank you for so joyously, candidly and deeply sharing your life over the years. And thank you for sharing the less joyous parts like what you’re feeling at the moment. You have TIME! You have so much time to do the things you want to do, and I hope you manage to take a little more of that time for yourself without feeling the need to keep up an endless streak. You are much more than the X amount of days you’ve achieved something. You have an excellent brain with an inspiring level of inquisitiveness and curiosity, but that can also give way to always feeling behind and overwhelmed. You’re brilliant, I hope you’re doing a little better today and are enjoying the sunshine this weekend.
I always appreciate how honest and open you are. I dont think anyone would expect you to keep up with all you have been doing and I know its more internal then that but I want you to know how many people that are here because we enjoy watching you for you and we aren’t going anywhere ❤
Sending so much compassion out to you Evan. I have had similar battles with self doubt in the past. The negative self talk that happen in our brain sometimes can be brutal. What I found helpful was learning that I am not my thoughts. That I can actually disagree with the unhelpful thoughts that pop up in my head, and learning to cheer myself on even when my brain is telling me otherwise. It really does take practice to learn how to be kinder and more gentle with ourselves.
I’ve been watching you for years. Introduced my wife to you, she thinks you’re great too. You don’t owe anybody anything. Do what you need you need to do. You can’t fail us, that would imply an obligation. There isn’t one.
i have always enjoyed your content (for like 8 years) because it authentic and you seem to actually enjoy making it; not because it is frequent. it’s fun to watch someone have fun. i would rather watch one video a year you enjoyed making than 365 videos you didn’t
One of the most relatable videos ever… its the duck floating majestically on the water lookout all calm but its feet are frantically flapping away!
Its always good to remind ourselves that the people who’s content we enjoy are human not machines and the fact we get the content we do is incredible and we should be really grateful for it ❤️
This is so relatable. We all feel like we’re carrying too much, sometimes. This is something so many people battle with. Maybe not with TH-cam, but in work or hobbies/passions. What I’m saying is, you’re not alone in this. Give yourself some grace. It’s not worth sacrificing your mental health. We’ll all be alright, as long as you’re alright🤍
Thank you for being vulnerable and honest with us. Your editing really makes every video feel so personal and warm. It makes sense that it’s part of the process that you love so much. It does show.
This video is absolutely relatable, because it's kind of how I felt like during university. It was more than I could handle on my own, but not because I was unable to learn the things that I needed to, but because I was constantly frozen by fear of failure. I failed a lot of classes at first try, because I was afraid of not being able to learn the subject, so sometimes I didn't even try. Then when I had to retake the class and it was a now or never opportunity, the fear of dropping out (aka the complete failure) became big enough that it forced me to sit down and study. Then most of the time I realized that I was completely able to learn the subject, and I could have done it the first time, had I just tried. But I also had to realize that I needed to let go of less important things to concentrate on the more important subjects. So by 3rd year, I was able to let go of a few classes without guilt and feeling like I failed, because I knew that I simply didn't have the capacity for them, but I could just try them next semester. By the time I graduated, I finally learned how to deal with all of it, because I learned about how I MYSELF worked, and I knew that I was capable if I really tried. So I ended up getting As on my final exams. But I'm still a bit sad that I suffered through the first few years because I didn't trust myself enough. So what I'm trying to say is that you also have to learn how to prioritize your tasks. Keep some that earns you money, and keep some that brings you joy. It's not failing to realize your limits, it's actually a great strength.