Cohabitation ≠ marriage | reTHINK TANK

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 128

  • @hughmcgrath7964
    @hughmcgrath7964 6 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Make divorce less financially disastrous for men and you might see an increased uptake in marriage?...

    • @matthewmontalvo5066
      @matthewmontalvo5066 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      amen I think cohabitation is perfect fine im not looking to break up but I like the fact I can break fair and square

    • @G1CAAAAEO
      @G1CAAAAEO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@matthewmontalvo5066 Says enough about your true commitment, you basically say that you can opt out if you want to, doesn't work that way in marriage because you can't walk away anymore.

    • @lloovveellyy742
      @lloovveellyy742 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's called a prenuptial. You (men too) can completely outline this document. The next time a guy complains about his divorce ask if he signed a prenuptial. If he didn't, he needs to not bitch about his "loss".
      *women are no exception to this approach

    • @inquaanate2393
      @inquaanate2393 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@G1CAAAAEOmeans they can’t ever treat you like shit, much nicer.

    • @inquaanate2393
      @inquaanate2393 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@lloovveellyy742prenups are meaningless in court. Never binding.

  • @blurglide
    @blurglide 6 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Why would I want to get the government involved in my relationship? That's all marriage is now days; betting someone half your stuff that THEY will love you forever.

    • @duniagallo4223
      @duniagallo4223 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      so true are you married ? hahhhah

    • @lloovveellyy742
      @lloovveellyy742 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      In the event you go comatose the doctor(who is required by the government) will ask for next of kin. A baby momma is not considered next of kin. She can plead with the family all she wants, but it falls on deaf ears. I would know.

    • @omarimack194
      @omarimack194 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lloovveellyy742 It’ll be your wife who will pull the plug on you anyway 😂🤦🏿‍♂️

    • @lloovveellyy742
      @lloovveellyy742 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@omarimack194 I am the wife 😈🖤

    • @user-u7u8b
      @user-u7u8b 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@lloovveellyy742So true, if you die in a car accident, baby moma who didn't need a stupid paper can legally go homeless

  • @aldomalaj1322
    @aldomalaj1322 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Than change the laws in divorce and you'll see an increase in marriage. The problem is that people that make laws profit from divorces so much that they can't leave their milk cow get away. Divorces take years and years now and by the time you're divorced you're not splitting you're money but you're debts.

  • @hoofed
    @hoofed 6 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    No mention of no-fault divorces. I guess that would undermine the message.

    • @MarinaMeoli
      @MarinaMeoli 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      hoofed but divorce is the lowest it's been in the last 40 years?

    • @johnclesi3758
      @johnclesi3758 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Well his pragerU video on marriage affects on men. Doesn't take into account if the wife/women is or has a narcissist nature/personally.

    • @MarinaMeoli
      @MarinaMeoli 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Muh Russia salad a quick Google search for divorce rates in the US would give you your answer, but here's one of them for you:
      "The U.S. divorce rate dropped for the third year in a row, reaching its lowest point in nearly 40 years, according to data released Thursday.
      Marriage rates, on the other hand, increasedlast year. In 2015, there were 32.2 marriages for every 1,000 unmarried women age 15 or older, according to the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University. This represents a jump from 31.9 in 2014 and is the highest number of marriages since 2009, which suggests that marriage rates may be stabilizing after decades of decline.
      On the divorce side, the 2015 rate was 16.9 divorces per 1,000 married women age 15 or older, which is down from 17.6 in 2014 and a peak of almost 23 per 1,000 divorces in 1980."
      time.com/4575495/divorce-rate-nearly-40-year-low/

    • @richdobbs6595
      @richdobbs6595 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Marina Medieros - nice cherry picking of time periods and statistics. I presume that Time did that, rather than you. Divorce and Marriage rates both dropped down almost in lock step from 1980 to 2010. Yet the comparison for divorce is picked at the beginning of the period, rather than at the end, while opposite for marriage rates. Also, the basis for your rates are "interesting", selecting marriage rates relative to unmarried women and divorce rates relative to married women. But in addition to rates, you should be including age at marriage as well as length of marriage. Other analyses like those from Pew Research indicate that marriage is stabilized for college educated, but continues to decline among those who are not.

    • @MarinaMeoli
      @MarinaMeoli 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "Also, the basis for your rates are "interesting", selecting marriage rates relative to unmarried women and divorce rates relative to married women."
      You mean instead of using the number of divorce rates relative to unmarried women? hahahaha and compare marriage rates relative to what then, if not to the number of unmarried people? wtf
      Yes, of course divorce and marriage rates dropped down since the 80s. Sexual revolution, women starting to work, consider that any of those might, just maybe, have had an impact on that. But we are post-sexual revolution now and baffling, the number are finally going back up. That's a good thing.

  • @LancerDL
    @LancerDL 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I feel cohabitation is indecision masquerading as "a big step in our relationship". If you're not sure whether you want to marry a person, why would you want to become financially dependent/interdependent on them through cohabitation? It actually discourages breaking up with them, and if you're not sure you want to marry, presumably there's a reason behind it. Either that, or you're practicing the habit of being (inter)dependent while being open to leaving. Both factors are probably what contribute to the higher rates of divorce among those who cohabited before marriage, than those who never cohabited.
    Because if you'd be okay with marrying them, you'd probably just marry them.

    • @JoeDirtisawsome
      @JoeDirtisawsome 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      its not about being unsure. some people dont want to get married. im an atheist, why should i get married? why do i need a stupid piece of paper to validate my relationship? why do i need some silly ceremony? why do i need the government in my bedroom? marriage is just a formality. unmarried couples can be committed to each other.

    • @LancerDL
      @LancerDL 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If there was no paper and no government, people would still get married. It's a non sequitur. Marriage is the living arrangement, the commitment, and the intent to have a family. The legal status is rather irrelevant to the reason why people do it.

    • @JoeDirtisawsome
      @JoeDirtisawsome 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      "Marriage is the living arrangement, the commitment, and the intent to have a family." where did you find that definition? wouldnt cohabitation count as a marriage if we used your definition?
      according to Webster its "the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law"
      according to google its "the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship"
      "The legal status is rather irrelevant to the reason why people do it." thats true, but it doesnt change the fact that you need the legal status to have a valid marriage.

    • @feferosette
      @feferosette 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I totally agree with you!

    • @jayg.2066
      @jayg.2066 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@JoeDirtisawsome It's not just "a stupid piece of paper to validate my relationship". Going through the entire ceremony, sweating your armpits out, your balls off. Standing in the hot sun for two hours, paying $12391. Is a pain in the ass. Then you have to tell everyone you'll commit to a relationship for the rest of your life. If you don't you'll disgrace everyone around you and they'll start talking behind your back. TF I wouldn't go through all that just to get divorced and pay 5 times that to separate. Unfortunately most 80% of men out there are beta, lovestruck, and believe they can change a hoe to a housewife!!??!???

  • @metalgrinch
    @metalgrinch 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "What is good will be evil and what is evil will become good." It doesn't matter what effect this has on kids. Adults now have absolutely no care for other people besides themselves. Scripture also states that people will become lovers of money and of themselves. This is all leading to the end, and things have already started. Things will NOT get better. They won't. I'm sorry. Things will continue to get worse and worse until everything we know will end. It's just how God has it all planned. Very few, VERY few will ever find the road to heaven.

    • @Luka23567
      @Luka23567 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      💯 facts!

    • @angievol09
      @angievol09 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Amen! Jesus is the way, the truth and the life!

  • @TheChrismsanchez1
    @TheChrismsanchez1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    What's the divorce rate percentage? Tell me again how marriage works out for kids?

    • @OoMaTaRoO
      @OoMaTaRoO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What about breakups ? How does that work for kids ?

    • @TheChrismsanchez1
      @TheChrismsanchez1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@OoMaTaRoO the same as divorce.

    • @jayg.2066
      @jayg.2066 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What are the cohabitation success rates? Lmfao cohabitation is even worse than being a single parent. At least you have some form of stability with only one parent in the house

    • @mrepix8287
      @mrepix8287 ปีที่แล้ว

      30% for first-time marriages

  • @williamthomas5788
    @williamthomas5788 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I and my partner aren't married and our kids are fine and in college. Marriage, alas, is not merely an emotional or cultural commitment. It's a complex tax and property contract that has downsides for many couples. The real issue here is seriousness and commitment. Choosing to have kids is choosing to make a long-term commitment. People just need to realize that, as far as that goes, marrying or not isn't the issue: commitment is.

    • @jayg.2066
      @jayg.2066 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I agree with you completely. All you really need is commitment. Unfortunately, not everyone has the same amount of maturity as you and your partner. I'm willing to bet a large majority don't

    • @G1CAAAAEO
      @G1CAAAAEO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Marriage as a sacrament is the highest form of commitment possible (if the couple takes it seriously and doesn't do it for the photos or purely out of tradition).

    • @xerxeskalfan2313
      @xerxeskalfan2313 ปีที่แล้ว

      William Thomas bastard children

    • @williamthomas5788
      @williamthomas5788 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@xerxeskalfan2313 Bastardy in the pejorative sense you mean isn't relevant anymore. No one cares. My kids have a Mom and a Dad, and that's what mattered for them growing up.. And indeed, even among married couples in my city, it's quite common for the kids not have the last name of one of the parents, because usually the parents don't change last names to be the same. How would anyone know in these cases if the parents were married or not?

  • @skylinefever
    @skylinefever 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Brad Wilcox and his friends will do anything not to talk about laws and courts. It is like watching cigarette salesmen trying to avoid discussions of addiction and premature death.

  • @JoeDirtisawsome
    @JoeDirtisawsome 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    half of marriages end in divorce. the chances increase if you get re-married. why are you only talking about a child living with their mom and boyfriend? there are single fathers that date too. what about kids that live with their unmarried biological parents? how long were these people living together? you didnt address any of these things. your not taking into account their financial backgrounds. what if two unmarried lawyers have kids?

    • @mrepix8287
      @mrepix8287 ปีที่แล้ว

      That is fake news

  • @thebibosez7949
    @thebibosez7949 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Divorce lawyers were growing morose,
    As marriage rates fell by a gross,
    With others entrapping,
    Their wives were off napping,
    With thoughts turned to crimes bellicose!

  • @eliseweusthuis
    @eliseweusthuis 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Just that it might not be a good idea to have children outside of marriage doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with unmarried childless people living together.

  • @jonnyd7908
    @jonnyd7908 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I would have to question how one defines marriage. My partner and I have been together for over 12 years now. I refer to her as my wife, but we haven't had any fancy ceremony or government certification of our union. We just have the commitment to eachother and our children. We have had some rough spots but we work it out. Our kids are well behaved, socialize well with others, and perform well academically. All without what is typically defined as marriage. I wonder if it is the marriage or the understanding of how to pick a good partner and maintain a healthy relationship that is the real issue.

    • @staciwhite4276
      @staciwhite4276 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jonny D I especially like the last sentence in your comment and it is always great to hear when someone has a successful relationship and family! My husband and I have been married 21 years and it’s still great. Good people and genuine, lasting love can be found in the right person.

    • @jayg.2066
      @jayg.2066 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You would have to have some type of ceremony for it to be considered a proper marriage to most people. There are unofficial marriages, proper marriages, and proper legal marriages to most people. Either way, you can still call it a marriage. If you want, you can call it a full proper marriage but most people wouldn't call it that. As long as your committed and the relationship is working out great, everything is fine imo

    • @lloovveellyy742
      @lloovveellyy742 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wait. You weren't willing to marry your partner, but you were more that willing to make her a statistic. She's a baby momma with a ring and no it is NOT the same as being a wife.

    • @beanz156
      @beanz156 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@lloovveellyy742 Silence fool

    • @lloovveellyy742
      @lloovveellyy742 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      🤷‍♀️ Just making an observation.

  • @Peteraddavideo
    @Peteraddavideo 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The situation that led to Abraham having his first son with Hagar and the jealousy that arose with Sarah when she bore Isaac, tells us; stepfamilies will have complicated relationships that are difficult to solve.Someone will have to leave the household if it is to live in peace.

  • @Hatemtommy131313
    @Hatemtommy131313 6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    When the vast majority of divorces are initiated by women for no apparent reason other than her finding a better husband for her (hypergamy) and destroying her own family and kids for some selfish desires, yet you make that video and you hope that men would change their minds.
    Whatever you do, don't get married unless the laws change in the favor of men. Our system is so corrupt even cohabitation is something you would never do unless you're in a state that doesn't consider cohabitation = marriage.
    It's in uncle Sam's favor to own and break the families for monetary reasons and control. It's no brainer -- whatever you do, don't get married or let the common law apply to you as you will regret it. Currently more than 99% of ALL relationships including marriages end and LESS than 1% make it till senior age, it's because of sane women that choose so. Why on earth do you think you'll be that one if there are no guarantees? Of course, there's are many tests you could apply on her to think she might be a good long-term fit or not, but again, there's no guarantee of any sort! Essentially trusting her doesn't equal trusting the state/government, which is what you have to do when you get married and the government and the wife will most definitely fail you like all the 99% that thought "but she's different". If you can transfer your assets to a trust fund where no one including the government has no access to (i.e.Switzerland banks), you for it, you'll only suffer the pain of the relationship but at least you won't be 70 years old contemplating the thought of suicide after the ex took all your money mercilessly to sleep with another guy in your own house around your own kids that you didn't get the right to see them except once in a blue moon for an hour. And parent-alienate you to your own children because of course--she would NEVER admit to her kids that she's a selfish promiscuous greedy thief and that their dad was a complete loser and that's why she had to leave. This is reality, not anecdotal or exceptions of the rule, you make your own inference. Go figure!
    Most men aren't anti-marriage as an idea, but rather anti-"didn't see it coming" fools' classics

    • @MarinaMeoli
      @MarinaMeoli 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Tommy AbdAllah divorce is the lowest it's been for the lasst 40 years. Careful with all that anger toward women. Most of us are not like that. Most people in general asre not shitty like that, men or women.

    • @Hatemtommy131313
      @Hatemtommy131313 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      (Reciprocation) NAWALT + shaming tactic = a spinster with a bunch of cats and a musty smelling apartment. When you or if you study psychology and the female brain, you'll understand that I'm talking about the science of the female brain so all women darling think the same due to hard-wired evolutionary obvious reasons that ain't going away. Also, the reason why your shaming tactic don't work is because you go straight into the ad hominem fallacy/attack, it is a logical fallacy that just made you look and sound unintelligent. Good luck with your manly cats sweetheart

    • @j3d89
      @j3d89 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Marina Medeiros of course is going to be lower.. LESS MEN ARE GETTING MARRIED.. it would be idiotic if the rate increase, is nature... come on...that's like a rat trying to eat cheese but Everytime it touch it, the rat get an electric shock.. the rat will learn that the cheese is bad and will try something Else

    • @billsmith1965
      @billsmith1965 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MarinaMeoli Divorce is only lower because fewer are formally marrying. It remains much too high and is still very destructive.
      Would you fly in a plane if it had a risk of crashing that was as a high of a risk of being divorced and stuck paying for years, for men?

  • @donna8779
    @donna8779 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Marriage is a commitment to love and care for that person and stay with them thru thick and thin times-yes this is the best way to bring up children and have them feel more bonded and secure.

  • @_JellyDonut_
    @_JellyDonut_ 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'm sure it would suck to be in a bad marriage but if you're happily married it's seriously the best thing ever. Rather than misleading men to think marriage is bad, we should be stressing the importance of choosing the right woman

    • @guillermosilva5905
      @guillermosilva5905 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jelly Donut that exactly what it is.

    • @omarimack194
      @omarimack194 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The right woman today, can be the wrong woman in 10 years.

    • @_JellyDonut_
      @_JellyDonut_ ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@omarimack194 Choose a woman of high character and be a loving husband to her and things will be fine. God intended men to be the leaders of their families. If you marry a good woman and she gets worse over time it's probably because you failed her in one way or another

    • @omarimack194
      @omarimack194 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@_JellyDonut_ Or some women just suck as wives despite you being a good husband. Good luck with that hope strategy though. 👍🏿

    • @_JellyDonut_
      @_JellyDonut_ ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@omarimack194 I'm sure you're right. My advice would be don't choose one of those. I'm nearly 20 years in and going strong so my strategy seems to be working just fine 👍

  • @matildatrussell6854
    @matildatrussell6854 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What. I was born outside of marriage and I never had any issues, not all children born outside of marriage are gonna suffer due to their parents choice.

  • @Joemantler
    @Joemantler 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    "Gaining acceptance" is a long way from "as good as" or even "benign". You entirely ignored the fact that it makes things worse.

  • @MrCcd23
    @MrCcd23 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The arguments stated here are flawed and heavily biased. There's also much more nuance to the issue. More marriages are failing, while cohabitation couples are prospering more than if they were married.
    Granted, family structure is important for children. However, marriage has not only become antiquated, it has become unstable in today's socioeconomic climate. There are benefits for children or prospective children, but adults are seeing diminishing returns on investing in a marriage. Not to mention there are fewer incentives to do so in the first place.

    • @user-u7u8b
      @user-u7u8b 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      No, cohabitations are not prospering, in fact they have even worse rates it s just that no one cares to do statistics. If 50 % of marriages fail with all the hardships that follow the process, imagine how many cohabitations end where you're free to walk away as you please

  • @jennytaylor3324
    @jennytaylor3324 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    If you wouldn't marry them, don't.

  • @spear8403
    @spear8403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    this divorce lawyer need to line his pockets somehow

  • @brandenpiert2795
    @brandenpiert2795 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    The research was very misinforming, and neglected a lot of groups. The kids whose parents were never married or cohabited, would be better off with this practice. Also the kids whose parents saw a divorce early would have benefited from cohabited parents. This whole study is garbage and needs to be done properly. Marriage in not the answer.

  • @gloriahuarcaya9948
    @gloriahuarcaya9948 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Congratulations Brad, you are a good researcher and spreader, and of course, an excellent husband and family. Thank you for your incredible work! You believe and live what you teach and defend

  • @rsplaine
    @rsplaine 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Is it just me, or does this video really seem to miss the point?

  • @anthomore4269
    @anthomore4269 ปีที่แล้ว

    Is just like marriage but you dont involved the state/government in the couple business.

  • @-Muhammad_Ali-
    @-Muhammad_Ali- 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Islam is the answer to EVERYTHING. Every single problem and more problems to come in the future is already taken care of in the religion of Islam. Alhamdulillah, I am married and our culture strives for and keeping that marriage because our country has Islam. Read about it guys, join the big family.

  • @ytams1
    @ytams1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    There are some social things we can do to encourage marriage. When a girl announces that she is pregnant her friends and relatives can ask her when she is getting married. Birthday card for 25 year old women can show pictures of marriage and babies. Churches could remember that they make money from weddings and have priests line up to marry cohabiting couples - when they want to start a family. Men may pop the question but the bride has probably been nagging him about getting married for a year.

  • @marlonmoncrieffe0728
    @marlonmoncrieffe0728 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It is selfish, immature, and irresponsible to have children outside of wedlock.
    My libertarian belief that people have the right to behave stupidly prevents me from advocating making having kids out of wedlock illegal BUT it does NOT prevent me from advocating of limiting child support to only kids conceived or adopted while the parents were married.

    • @JoeDirtisawsome
      @JoeDirtisawsome 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      why is it selfish, immature, and irresponsible? a good parent is a good parent. you do know that half of first marriages end in divorce right? your second and third marriages have a higher chance of ending. if you want to pay alimony and lose your house be my guest.

    • @marlonmoncrieffe0728
      @marlonmoncrieffe0728 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Joe Dirt
      Yes, divorce laws are messed up (I am against no-fault divorce myself) but that is a separate issue when it comes to having children out of wedlock.
      I would rather fight the unfair system from the inside out, and probably lose, than subject my children to being born out of wedlock.
      Actually, your divorce argument shows that people-at least men, in this case-are being selfish and immature to get out of paying alimony if the marriage fails.

    • @JoeDirtisawsome
      @JoeDirtisawsome 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      so im immature for wanting to keep my money? lol you never explained why its wrong for 2 people to have a kid out of wedlock. whats wrong with 2 college educated professionals having kids out of wedlock? like i said before, a lot of marriages end in divorce. how does that help the child? being married doesnt turn you into a good parent or a good person. being married doesnt guarantee that your kid will have a stable home-life.

    • @kobbdl
      @kobbdl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Abolish child support. There is nothing "libertarian" about stealing a man's children and then stealing his income too.

    • @Ali08
      @Ali08 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Huh? My commitment to my partner is similar to my own parents 40+ years of marriage. Our child is not suffering from it unless it is coming from silly judgmental people who needs to mind their business. The way you describe it, it’s safe to say at least 95 percent of uncivilized humans came from unmarried couples. How ridiculous! What makes unmarried couples so irresponsible and selfish? What makes marriage so different outside the government recognizing marriage as a legal commitment?

  • @FirstWorldProblemz
    @FirstWorldProblemz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Lol I didn’t even know he was married

  • @evacat66
    @evacat66 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very good

  • @Tweedle457
    @Tweedle457 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    .... there’s a reason those 2 chose not to marry ...... maybe, just maybe SHE wanted to have a life and not be a “yes, dear” person the rest of her life ........

    • @spear8403
      @spear8403 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      what's wrong with being a yes dear person if your husband rakes in the cash working every day sometimes harder than you(shoutout to the blue collar workers), does the taxes and most of the laborious chores such as vacuuming and lawn mowing, and in general isn't a butthole. If he doesn't do 2/3 then you have ground to stand on

    • @sofiabravo1994
      @sofiabravo1994 ปีที่แล้ว

      If that’s what you think marriage is you should stop watching films from the 50s.

    • @Tweedle457
      @Tweedle457 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sofiabravo1994 maybe you shouldn’t comment on comments made 3 years ago, catch up …..