This is a good way of explaining things, readers are willful and if you try to squish them into one way of looking at things, they just get thrown outta the story!
I definitely like the second version of the paragraph more. I don't know where I heard this, but what you're saying is kind of analogous to a tour guide at work. A good tour guide doesn't go around with his tourists and incessantly tell them to look at every little novelty along the way. They let the tour breath, and point out only what they need to.
when i'm writting, I feel that the mechanism that do the biggest part of immersion, is the older ones, those that you'll find on old epics and poems, like metrics, rhythm and melody. to the reader, the act of reading is hypnotic when the text flows like a song, phonemes that match each other, connected pieces of story with actual writting to concieve the impression of time or emotion (the break in sequences force the reader to erase the imagination and engage again when a new sequence or chapter begin and that's a terrible immersion killer that's too often used to achieve other goals, not immersion) and actual sense of pacing ("when this should happen after that?")... as I said, just like a piece, a song. of course, you won't complicate it like with old english and extremelly difficult vocabulary, you'll use the language that'll fit the atmosphere of your story. the part of "fondly" won't do any harm to your writting when you take the first sentence and change it to a more creative and beautier way to say it, instead of that blank straight forward writting (nothing wrong with straight forward style of writting, but it fits better in to deliver straight forward stories, not immersion). at least, that's what I can percieve when people read my stories.
Pretty true how people interpret in their own way. Im figuring things out and enjoy writing as putting out the words that say so much in a few. This video reassures that im on track in some way. Thanks.
Thanks for watching. This kind of thing feels a lot like a balancing act to me. You've got to steer the story in a way that only you can, but let it be open enough for your readers to enjoy it in a way that feels personal to them 🙂
Solid advice. I always have to remember as a writer, sometimes the less is more. I like to purposely. Put writing constraints on myself. It makes me think creativity on how to approach a sentence and story.
It really is, and sometimes they do perfectly well, but I always find it's worth that extra push, especially when you don't really feel like it 🙂 that kind of effort over a long period like a novel really makes a huge difference to the overall feel of it I think.
love your videos! very to the point and concrete examples! drives me crazy when authors just say the exact lines over and over again without any context or playing with the advice.
Thank you so much! I definitely believe in providing examples and demonstrating concepts where I can. Everyone learns differently and I try my best to cater to that where I can.
Thank you! I'll look at that, I think I've covered bits of both on the channel here and there but I can't remember if there are whole videos on these topics, or if there are, if they're in-depth. ☺
This is great advice and it is a valuable tool I can use when revising my books. Remove "on the nose" writing. Respect the reader. Stop telling him what to feel.
If I could give you 1000 likes, I would have. Your explanations are so clear and detailed, and the example is well chosen. Thanks. You gotta new subscriber here. 👌
I like both, the 1st even more actually. I think it would depend in the type of story im reading, 2nd feels best for a lot of subjectivity, like a film with little dialogue. I dont think i would want everything like the 2nd but i dont read fiction books so.
I agree with those points. But one of my favorite authors Stephen King does the exact opposite. He puts in so much irrelevant detail that any editor would be inclined to cut that all out. But those are the details that enable him to slowly and steadily create his world
I think you could have left in the specific hypothetically narration that if the table was sold, she would definitely never see it again. And I think that was the intent by the author to make you feel the sadness of the protagonist. They just shouldn't have 'double stated' it by actually saying she was sad. The author should trust the audience to be sympathetic
I have a question. I am an author who writes in the third person limited perspective, so sometimes I like to describe things in a way that gives somewhat of a direction but not quite. For example: The Blood sun reigned the sky, tainting the world in its crimson hue. The Evergreen conical forest remained still like ever; its thick crowns dampened the atmosphere, adding more oppressiveness to the overwhelming silence. It was as if, the entire world had appeared just out of a mystery. Here, I kind of gave a direction 'It was as if' part. Practically, It didn't lower the scope for the reader as much but it still gave a direction of sorts. What do you think? Should I remove that part?
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This is a good way of explaining things, readers are willful and if you try to squish them into one way of looking at things, they just get thrown outta the story!
Absolutely 🙂 They definitely are, we have to roll with that I think, or at least as much as we can.
I definitely like the second version of the paragraph more. I don't know where I heard this, but what you're saying is kind of analogous to a tour guide at work. A good tour guide doesn't go around with his tourists and incessantly tell them to look at every little novelty along the way. They let the tour breath, and point out only what they need to.
I like the tour guide analogy for sure, that makes a lot of sense to me. That's how I'd choose to be I think ☺
when i'm writting, I feel that the mechanism that do the biggest part of immersion, is the older ones, those that you'll find on old epics and poems, like metrics, rhythm and melody. to the reader, the act of reading is hypnotic when the text flows like a song, phonemes that match each other, connected pieces of story with actual writting to concieve the impression of time or emotion (the break in sequences force the reader to erase the imagination and engage again when a new sequence or chapter begin and that's a terrible immersion killer that's too often used to achieve other goals, not immersion) and actual sense of pacing ("when this should happen after that?")... as I said, just like a piece, a song. of course, you won't complicate it like with old english and extremelly difficult vocabulary, you'll use the language that'll fit the atmosphere of your story. the part of "fondly" won't do any harm to your writting when you take the first sentence and change it to a more creative and beautier way to say it, instead of that blank straight forward writting (nothing wrong with straight forward style of writting, but it fits better in to deliver straight forward stories, not immersion). at least, that's what I can percieve when people read my stories.
Pretty true how people interpret in their own way. Im figuring things out and enjoy writing as putting out the words that say so much in a few. This video reassures that im on track in some way. Thanks.
Thanks for watching. This kind of thing feels a lot like a balancing act to me. You've got to steer the story in a way that only you can, but let it be open enough for your readers to enjoy it in a way that feels personal to them 🙂
Thanks, KW!
I'll go back through my WIP and cut cut cut!
Only if it makes sense for you, and for your book of course 😊
Solid advice. I always have to remember as a writer, sometimes the less is more. I like to purposely. Put writing constraints on myself. It makes me think creativity on how to approach a sentence and story.
Great idea. Anything that tests you or causes you to think differently seems worth doing I think! 🙂
Thanks, that was a great example with the table. It's so easy to stick an adverb in the sentence when you're tired, lol.
It really is, and sometimes they do perfectly well, but I always find it's worth that extra push, especially when you don't really feel like it 🙂 that kind of effort over a long period like a novel really makes a huge difference to the overall feel of it I think.
love your videos! very to the point and concrete examples! drives me crazy when authors just say the exact lines over and over again without any context or playing with the advice.
Thank you so much! I definitely believe in providing examples and demonstrating concepts where I can. Everyone learns differently and I try my best to cater to that where I can.
I'm all for taking words out, of course!
As always, amazing video! Thanks!
Thank you my friend 😀
Wow! Thank you! This is food for thought, and I can now try to apply this to my own writing. 👍
It's definitely something I feel has helped my writing 🙂 Thanks for watching!
I love these videos! You have a way to motivate people,anyway you can do an in depth look at tenses and dialogue?
Thank you! I'll look at that, I think I've covered bits of both on the channel here and there but I can't remember if there are whole videos on these topics, or if there are, if they're in-depth. ☺
This is great advice and it is a valuable tool I can use when revising my books. Remove "on the nose" writing. Respect the reader. Stop telling him what to feel.
Wow. This is fantastic advice. I understand this approach better now of how to omit details to immerse the reader. Thanks.
Thanks! Much appreciated :)
Thank you for this video. 🙂
Thanks. Great advice. Reminds me of the advice to leave room for the reader.
If I could give you 1000 likes, I would have. Your explanations are so clear and detailed, and the example is well chosen. Thanks. You gotta new subscriber here. 👌
Thanks so much! Really appreciate that :)
This was great advice. Thank you.
Thank you, I really appreciate you watching 🙂
Ahhh I truly felt the sadness mor after the change
These are really helpful thank you 😊
I like both, the 1st even more actually. I think it would depend in the type of story im reading, 2nd feels best for a lot of subjectivity, like a film with little dialogue. I dont think i would want everything like the 2nd but i dont read fiction books so.
This was helpful. Could You have used vivid, descriptive words?
Absolutely yeah, whatever fits for your story and helps you bring it life for readers!
Love how you explain
I can say as an avid read that readers ARE wilful 😂
I definitely know one that is... 😋
Your second version is really good.
Thank you!
Good to come across this, very helpful 👍
Wow!
Thank you for this.
Thanks for watching!
I agree with those points. But one of my favorite authors Stephen King does the exact opposite. He puts in so much irrelevant detail that any editor would be inclined to cut that all out. But those are the details that enable him to slowly and steadily create his world
I think you could have left in the specific hypothetically narration that if the table was sold, she would definitely never see it again. And I think that was the intent by the author to make you feel the sadness of the protagonist. They just shouldn't have 'double stated' it by actually saying she was sad. The author should trust the audience to be sympathetic
Thank you. This is really helpful.
Please how can I learn other principles of good writing like immersion
I love you and your videos
I love you and your nice comments 😃
Great video bro
You and I Kieren think a lot a like.
I have a question. I am an author who writes in the third person limited perspective, so sometimes I like to describe things in a way that gives somewhat of a direction but not quite.
For example:
The Blood sun reigned the sky, tainting the world in its crimson hue. The Evergreen conical forest remained still like ever; its thick crowns dampened the atmosphere, adding more oppressiveness to the overwhelming silence. It was as if, the entire world had appeared just out of a mystery.
Here, I kind of gave a direction 'It was as if' part. Practically, It didn't lower the scope for the reader as much but it still gave a direction of sorts. What do you think? Should I remove that part?
There's nothing wrong with the odd phrase like that, as it's a facilitator of the reader's understanding and helping them form a picture.
@@KierenWestwoodWriting I see, thanks very much!
Detail bombardment takes me out of the moment in a story. Sometimes it's enough to make me stop reading. A good flow is important.
Absolutely. It gives me the same feeling as when someone hands me a bunch of stuff and I can't hold it all in only two hands.
@@KierenWestwoodWriting an excellent analogy :)
I like your way better
Thank you!
That was great advice. Thank you.