This is the kind of content thst saves lives. Dead, swollen, bruised bodies and autopsy reports of what killed them. Not "look how thin I was". That is just triggering.
when i was at the height of my severe ED, that type of video is what i searched up on purpose as “inspiration” 🥴… they were basically bulimia and anorexia tutorial videos, and they taught me everything i used to hurt myself with for so long 🙁
the autopsy report was more disturbing than the image itself, i think. horrifying. my heart goes out to anyone who suffers from any sort of eating disorder.
Moira Piper that is what led to Karen Carpenter’s death - she was regularly abusing syrup of ipecac and it caused her heart to give out. I hope you are now free from your eating disorder, or at least in a better place
The picture itself is disturbing, yes, but can we talk about the autopsy report? Her stomach *split open* from eating too much food from starving herself. Her brain swelled up and bursted through her skull *before she died.* That. That is graphic. That would make me stop. Imagine going through that type of pain, alone, huddled over your toilet, feeling the sensation of your stomach rupturing and your brain swelling so much to the point it starts to pop out of your head. I would never want to experience anything like that, and no one else should either.
"It's a terrible way to live. It's a terrible way to die." I've never heard a better way to explain eating disorders/ even mental health problems in general
dina marie I don't think that they chose to live like that but I think what they mean is that you can always choose to get help and at least TRY to recover
hi im coming back a year after watching this to tell you this video saved my life, thank you. edit: you guys comments are making me tear up, I hope you all find recovery ❤️ and yes i’m doing good and haven’t purged in a very long time :)
I learned psychologie and I thought if one of my child had to present symptômes of any kind of mental or comportemental behaviour problem or deseases I would be able to recognize it and act fast. Well I was so wrong. My daughter is anorexic.. i forgot one elementar lesson : every individu live his or her sickness differently. I had the théorique knowkedge but it wasn't enough. Now we , me ,my husband, my son and my other daughter are unite to help her and she wants to get better. But its hard because everytime she gain just 200 or 300 gr she cries : " I don't want to be fat. I don't want people telling me that I am fat " because it is how all started, people saying to her "you are chubby " " I thought asian girls where suppose to be skinny why are you chubby?". (My husband is chinese and I am belgo moroccan. So our kids are mixed. ). All those words haunted her mind and then it started. The worst thing is that those who were mocking her changed their discours and complimented her for her weight loss. People are so shallow. Every meal is an fight but she hold on. I told her to leave behind her all those idiots that were toxic for her. She doesn't contact them anymore. We still have a long road but she start to realize that she have a lot of project and if she want to be able to reach her objectifs she have too gain weight. And of course we are help by our family doctor. Thank you for your testimony. I wish you the best. Sorry for my basic english but its hard to explain proprely in another language something so deep.
@@ericabassi7728 Thank you. I wish you the same. You are courageous and you care for others. Continue to fight you are a light for those who are still in the dark of this deseases. Good continuation.
Poor girl. She literally died alone not only in such physical pain but with those thoughts that have been festering in her mind for years 😢 and then to imagine the people that cared about her...
I'm a mortuary student that's been struggling with anorexia and purging as a desperate measure (the irony isn't lost on me...I know....) I'm trying to find the full autopsy report out of my own curiosity, but from what the video said, the poor girl was most likely comatose before she even knew what was happening to her. Not saying she died instantly. But I'm pretty certain she just went dark and never came back. Not trying to diminish the message of the video. I just thought I'd share because I know we're an empathetic bunch.
@@texas1949 eating disorders stem from trauma, typically. The appearance is typically enmeshed with low self esteem, a warped perception of oneself etc. By the time someone is very ill, it is so incredibly more complex than someone being concerned about their appearance.
@@DaveyDingles was saying the same thing the brain and body shouldve gone into shoke the moment of the tear,if she felt anything it was a fast presure release
@@xtwoonetwosixxx even tho they dont have an ED, they still can try and say helpful words for people who has an ED (not like the ED voices, like try and recover kind of things) But i do see why you lashed out like this but still should do that to random people online. Hope all have a good day and who ever has an ED, i hope you seek help b4 it's too late.
The most terrifying part of the picture is thinking that that could've been you. It brought back memories of cold bathroom floors and purging until my throat felt like it was on fire and my heart felt like it was trembling and my stomach was cramping. We're often told that eating disorders kill but to truly see it with your own eyes is chilling. Meanwhile there's people on TikTok glamourising and romanticising eating disorders.
It all starts so innocent 😳. First you cut a few hundred calories and exercise a little more. Then you read every single food label and record every single calorie you eat including a piece of gum. Then you find yourself obsessing over the fat on your legs and stomach and face every moment of the day. All day long you think about food and your weight and how it's never good enough. The anorexia lead me into bulimia for two years. I would eat normally but purge and under eat and then binge. I have not purged or straved myself since 2014. I am finally free. The bad thoughts still linger but I've chosen to be stronger than they are 💖.,
Kara Bear I wish you all the best! Don't let these thoughts EVER convince you, they ARE wrong! Keep being the wonderful and healthy person you are and strive to be! ❤️ I celebrate your freedom!
I'm in that first phase but I'm trying not to let it evolve too much. One week I was eating around 450 calories a day but now I'm up to 800-1000. Kinda hate eating cos I have trouble controlling it but then I go into days where I just don't. It's pretty confusing but I'm definitely more aware of it now and try to have a good balance. Congrats on beating it
‼️‼️ I just want to warn everyone. 8 years in with bulimia, I’ll say that the video shows a very natural progression of the disease that is scary but in no way surprising. No one is in the clear, even those who don’t binge. Yes her stomach rupturing was the catalyst of her death, but purging normal amounts of food, even just casually a few times a week, can lead to the same end. My bulimia started off as just restricting and purging as a ballet dancer. But when the body doesn’t get enough calories and physical and mental stress develop, binging becomes a natural defense reaction that is NOT under conscious control, 1. Mentally due to the addiction that develops as a reliever of the constant torture the brain/body is under and 2. Physically, Due to the limbic system taking control upon starvation. I ended up in the hospital like the deceased girl due to a binge. Because I was so thin my stomach stretched to unnatural volumes when binging to the point that it was physically hard to breath and walk. I starved myself into eating about as much as the deceased girl did, at which point I could hardly breathe. To accommodate for this my spine, that is supposed to curve inward, curved outward and overstretched to the point where my torso looked like an egg. This put a strain on my spine and the caused compression of the nerves made worse with the blow of vomiting. One night a bad binge caused both a ruptured stomach ulcer, leading to loss of blood, while the pressure of the vomiting caused sudden damage to the nerves in my spine leading to a condition called neurogenic shock (the same condition that the girl in the video faced, but I was lucky enough to recover). I was alone driving home from a binge after work around 1 am when I lost feeling in my limbs, felt heat fill up in my stomache and my heart/breath slow way down all at once. I stopped the car and called 9-11 half conscious but there was no service, so in complete terror, nearly unconscious, I crashed my car pulling into the nearest gas station where the police found me gasping for air, heart rate in the 20s-30s, limbs shaking uncontrollably from the cold, unable to move. I was lucky enough to get to the hospital and recover from the shock. The incident caused decreased control over my lower body and now I can never dance like I used to, can barely feel anything beneath the site of the injury and have permanent muscle tension in my thighs. This disorder is so addictive because it’s like a voice reassuring you that you are the one calling the shots. NEVER listen to that voice because it is simply wrong and it is out to kill. With enough poor choices the disorder becomes something that is in no way your choice, with lethal consequences. I never imagined this outcome as a 12 year old little dancer who wanted a trick to look pretty enough to be in the spotlight. I never imagined it would take over my life. It is not worth it. If you have ANY form of this disorder however severe. Please do not deny the fear of the consequences because they are VERY real. and Even when they don’t take your life they might take what was most important to you. Thanks, let’s continue to support each other ❤️
Thank you for sharing us your story. I cried watching this. Hope you will fully recover from eating disorder and this will never happen again on anyone.
Wow. Reading this made me tear up.. that is so incredibly scary. Im 13, and I am currently suffering with disordered eating, reading your comment, and the others has made me want to recover. Thank you for sharing your story :) you’re so strong
Thank you for sharing your story. I've had an eating disorder since I was 12 years old! I am in my 50s!! I've been hospitalized 3 times. Even now, I have an occasional bout of binges and purging. My body weight is normal , so you can't tell by looking at me that I'm always watching every single bit of food I put in my body. It's a horrible disease of the mind . It really takes over your brain and your life. So many things I didn't do because of the way I felt about my body. I missed out on a lot of social gatherings because I've always felt too fat. Nobody knew my pain inside. I covered it very well. But when I was younger, I couldn't stop purging through vomiting and compulsive exercising. I'm better now, but after hearing your story and watching this video, I'm still considered a bulimic . It's just has become a way of life for me. When I go for a physical and my sugar and pressure is low, I know it's from dieting, purging , and exercising. I never tell a doctor that I've been purging for over 40 years! Wow, to even admit that and come to terms with that ,makes me feel sad. So many years I've wasted on this disorder! Well, I'm saying too much. But, thank you for sharing your story again. I hope you're doing much better now.
And her stomach being that taught and bloated was from gases building post-mortem. Saw some comments saying there was no way she weighed so little. Smh. The body does crazy shit when we die. (Sorry...Mortuary student with an ED here)
Yes, the blood had pooled to the lower extremities due to the fact that the heart had stopped pumping it through the body and gravity as you mentioned. Which caused the blood to pool beneath the skin. And that... Is called bruising.
It would have been quite painful too... it wouldn't have lasted terribly long though, For What Little comfort that might give to her parents. Kudos and gratitude to them for their generosity and courage in sharing her story ...knowing the picture is out there or they could stumble upon it and still being willing to share it.
Ive had this disease for 36yrs.. Im now 48yrs old .... Im ready now. My heart / my brain/ my stomach and colon lining are shedding and I kno I will die from this. I needed to see this video. I kno its not too late to get help. Im sobbing as I type this and I am exhausted from this illness. All I kno is that I need help. Thank you for sharing . ❤
@Really Though it is not easy I have to say.. But I do my best everyday to lessen the urge and am on a waiting list to see a counsellor.. As I know support and help will be needed. Its a big illness to tackle alone and I do want to be free from this no matter how hard it will be at first. Thanks for asking. :)
hope you get all the help you can. Don't hesitate to contact ANYBODY when you feel bad or feel the urges. I'm thinking of you. You deserve to live the rest of your life peacefully and not in hell. You are worth so much more than this. Please recover. You can do it, you deserve it, you are wonderful. Don't binge and purge today, don't restrict today, love yourself today and then do the same tomorrow and everyday from now on. Sending you lots and lots and lots of love
@@hannahw4990 thank you so ,so much. I truly appreciate that.. Its a daily struggle..somedays are better than others, but, I am determined to get better, and I thank you again for the well wishes. 🙏🙏😉
I pushed myself to recover while I was pregnant. I had to feed myself in order to feed my daughter. She was our first baby to ever make it full term. We lost two babies mid pregnancy before her. She's the most important thing in my life. My husband supported me through good and bad days and I still struggle sometimes. My postpartum body and depression took a huge toll on me and my body image isn't the best. But I have a beautiful 7 month old to show for it
I can't even get a chance to get the chance of getting my only thing that I have ever wanted out of my life and I wanted to be a mom and I was for only one hour and I lost my baby boy due to stress that my husband was putting me through this was a horrible day and I have no chance to try to have a baby again I had lost to much and I had to go to surgery and have hysterectomy I don't know how much you have been through but honey I have to say that you are so blessed and I don't have a doubt in my mind that God has given you a little child and is sending you a message from him to you and that is not to be so unhappy about the amount of weight that you have. You are created in his image and it is not about what you weigh or don't weigh in Gods eyes your perfect imperfections or not you have been given the greatest gift that he is also able to do that is the best gift ever and it's your child now it's time for you to be the best role model for the rest of your child's life and with that you are never going to be seen less than the greatest of all in the world to this child be happy with your own self and that will reflect on your child and be a proud lady don't ever let anyone tell you anything else no one is judged by god for what you weigh just remember that God loves you so much and so will your child.
I'm so glad you're able to share your story. My mother had postpartum depression when she had me, and it completely held her back from taking care of me (I had lots of care from grandparents and I am extremely close with my mom, so pls don't think she neglected me) You did a great job to bring a beautiful baby into this world to loving parents. The harsh reality is that the struggle will always be there some days, and that's okay. You got through the tough part. You can get through even more.
It's so great to hear that you both have made it this far, everyone here is proud of you for achieving this for not only yourself, but for her too. Stay strong.
TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT THE PICTURE IS BEFORE THEY LOOK: It's basically a girl. You can't see her face but she is covered in bruises and is on the bathroom floor on her knees with her head bowed. She is not alive. The story is about her stomach splitting because she ate too much food after starving. Don't watch if death/EDs trigger you or if you have a weak stomach/can't hear stories about these things x
I think it was when she was binging, her stomach expanded. When your stomach expands to much it will crush blood vessels and cause bruises. Her blood vessels were crushed just above the genitalia, causing everything below her stomach to bruise.
Lauren Basham it is not bruising. When you die your blood stops circulating so it pools at the lowest place, which for her was where she looks bruised. A person that dies on their backs has that discoloration on their back parts of the body. I only know because I have been in health care for most of my life and dealt with death. The picture is so heart breaking though.
I did NOT expect the autopsy report to hit me so hard. I felt physical discomfort in my stomach and head when you talked about her stomach ripping and her brain swelling. I do not have anorexia or bulimia but I have binge ate for years. I... I will not be binging ever again. I am shaking.
binge eating isn’t necessarily wrong … unless you are trying to throw it all up after .. if you’re body needs the nutrition and you haven’t eaten much through the day then binge eating is okay.. i have adhd and tend to forget to eat .. yes that’s one of the messed up things from this mental disability but if i have forgotten to eat and i finally remember i’m going to binge eat because my body needs the vitamins / etc
@@zayraroa I have ADHD as well. Binging isn't good for you regardless. I understand what you're saying and that it's at least getting nutrients to you - but it does damage the body and cause long-term effects. Eating until you're full or almost full, even if you only had one meal, is better for the body than binging at night. Binging stretches your stomach (the organ) and causes and exacerbates more medical problems like acid reflux disease/GERD. Have you tried setting alarms to eat ealier in the day? I have 6 alarms to eat set because with ADHD, taking a lot of meds, and low blood sugar, I need to at least have a snack every couple of hours. Do you carry snacks with you when away from home? (Genuinely worried - not trying to judge🖤)
To everyone without an ed, please understand, we hate this, don't tell us what to do, the best thing you can do is to stand by us and ask us what we need, support us, don't put us down
She's not putting us down. She's giving everyone a wake up call. You need help, not to ask anyone what you need because your perception of what you need is so distorted from that ED voice. It's not your fault but it is a problem and it needs to be stopped. Please get help sweetheart, don't suffer anymore :( 💜
@@idlybye5002 Your insight into my experience from reading my reply is so accurate. You seem to know that I had a horrible experience with a bad psychiatrist. And that is why I cannot seek help from one. Good call...
@@idlybye5002 You didn't overstep! It is comforting to know that someone empathizes and even has practical ideas. Ideas that can open doors that are locked shut. So I thank you.
My mother died from years of anorexia. She did not have bulimia. She was misdiagnosed for decades. I watched it my whole life till she died. I was 17 and I really needed my mother. But when I got the news my reaction was that I was so glad she didn't have to suffer any more.
My mother died from anorexia when I was 11 she was diagnosed when I was around 7 years old, she wouldn’t binge she just didn’t eat! If someone forced her to eat she would purge I grew up watching her slowly kill herself 💔
I have been suffering from bulimia everyday for the past ten years. I watched this video 7 days ago and for the first time in ten years I have had 7 days of freedom from the binge and purge cycle. As the fog clears I'm realizing that I just might really like the girl that's under the eating disorder. Thank you for giving me the reason ♡
@@katherinepatrick1582 thank you for your comment! I've had a few slip ups here and there and it's been hard as heck but I am still in and sticking with my Recovery ♡
I’m 14, and recently, I’ve started behaving in the beginning stages of an eating disorder, restricting, counting calories, etc. and I want to thank you, because this video is making me see what I’m really doing, and want to change while I still can. People on tiktok are glamorizing EDs, and it’s so sick. People like you are making everyone realize how truly dark and horrible EDs are, and helpings so many people. Thank you. ❤️
@@sugarfree6959 not completely, but I’m improving! It’s really hard to stop counting calories since it’s something I have become mentally accustomed to, but I don’t restrict like I used to, and pretty much eat whenever I’m hungry.
I love u gabby and I struggle with anorexia and my mom thinks I throw up in the bathroom cause I spend a lot of time in there and I don’t but I feel she doesn’t believe me and I just feel alone and sad and don’t like school anymore and not much anything anymore I don’t really see the point
Are u alright darling? How have you been lately? Just to remember that you are capable of everything, I wish you are doing fine, drink water and let your body be free
Regan Ross Same, it’s not easy to kick these habits. I binged and purged last night when I said I would try not to for the whole week. I know I can die at any second but just can’t stop, it’s fucking awful. We’re in such a bad position, hopefully one day we can kick this
it's very rare to see a person who's never had ED and who can truly understand (or try to understand at least) and not to devalue our feelings like "you're just pretending", "why you can't just eat normally","you just don't have a willpower to eat healthy " or smth like that. i don't know you but i already appreciate and respect you! wish you a happy life
I haven't either, but I have a friend who had one and it really leaves you feeling helpless. Thankfully she is doing much better. She has gained 20 pounds and looks so much better.
When I started watching, I was expecting a photo of a really skinny girl or something simmilar, and I kind of wanted to test myself... but the moment I saw it, I was shocked. When you explained what happenned to her, I couldn't stop crying. I'm still not sure if it was a good idea to watch this video
The body bloats after death and with her stomach ruptured combined with all that internal bleeding, well, there is your answer. Jobulást és minden jót.
Rywokast Given the phenomenon of lividity, in which blood pools under gravity distending limbs in such a position post-mortem, without a living heart to maintain circulation, there is nothing obvious at all about the conclusions you seek to draw from the distressing picture.
Thank you -_- I saw nothing wrong with the video until she said "girls" I hate when people exclude boys from mental illnesses or disorders that just means them feel worst because most people stereotype men like this insensitive people that could never be sad.
I've suffered with it for 5 years (I've since recovered) and I hate that people always act like us men don't and can't deal with horrible, horrible mental disorders.
@@lyleskinner1914 yeah man i feel you. Men are often thought of tough,strong,alpha and all that bs. And thats why people cant fathom mental health issues with men. Which makes things way more horrid.
@@lyleskinner1914 im glad you recovered and it makes me sad since i feel like it would be harder for men to get help since most support groups are advertised for women, like its a "girly disorder" or something, i swear when covid is over and i go back to school ill bring awarness for men's mental health in there, they litterally have a support group in there for woman but not for men and I- aaahhh im so mad anyways rant over and hope you all stay safe :)
Oh Mia. I don't have anorexia or bulimia, but I binge. sometimes so much that it hurts and I feel sick. I never thought that it was dangerous to binge. I just thought it was disgusting and makes you a terrible person because you have no self control. I'm terrified after seeing this. You're so passionate about wanting to help people. Thank you.
Jessie Irvine It's also dangerous because it might graduate into purging. I started out binge eating for years before I began purging. I didn't feel I was "sick enough" then to get help. But some of the most miserable periods of my life have been when I was bingeing. You deserve help xx
esperanza rodriguez You should know that purging doesn't work - you still absorb the majority of the calories and the binges tend to increase in size. So the likelihood is you'll end up absorbing more than you did when just bingeing. It's also painful, exhausting and leaves you feeling even more ashamed. Your problem as it is is valid.
Louisyed thanks for the information. I feel down know that purging has nothing good come from it. I need to learn to stop binging though. I appreciate your comment
I'm a 21 year-old man and have been bingeing daily for at least a month now. I never thought I'd go from being healthy and fit to miserable and bloated. I binge on anything I find tasty, not necessarily desserts. I don't purge but I still feel horrible after binges. Thank you for making this video. Sometimes the brutal truth is the only way to get someone to change.
@@Julia-b9x Hi Julia. Yes, fortunately I was able to limit my portion sizes, but only after filling up my day with more activities so I don’t get bored.Thank you for asking.
@@zicoelsamo6921 you really don't see it when your experiencing it. people with anorexia have a voice in their head that tells them that they'd rather die than not purge. it tells them that they'd rather die than eat a slice of cake. its messed up but we rarely can't control it. it would be so much easier if I could eat whatever what whenever I craved it or whenever I was hungry.
ermm i mean your stomach is used to it, hers wasnt because she was starving herself for so long then consumed so much food so her stomach stretched greatly which was not normal for her.
I think how she must have suffered as she died, and how her family must have suffered. But like you said, it was the culmination of years of suffering for her and her family. No one wants this. My heart goes out them, and to all the people who are going through it now.
This is it. I’ll make no more excuses anymore. I will stop my disordered habits and replace them with positive habits. I’ll ditch the all or nothing mentally.
I wish you a smooth recovery, quitting can be painful but I promise the other side is worth it. Be kind to yourself when you slip up and take what victory you can ❤
you absolutely can do this ... please.... you're worth it please let us know how you're doing! it's been 3 weeks since you said this... what steps have you taken to get help? you have our support!! ❤❤❤❤
i'm here after a binge and i'm so so scared rn i wish i could stop with this sickness i just want a normal relationship with my food intake to everyone who is reading now and continues to respond to this comment: I wish the best for each of you. fortunately, i have improved and nowadays (9 months after) i can say that i am free from this damn cycle. all i did was listen to my body, respect it and nourish it the way it deserves. of course it was not easy, nor did i get to where i am instantly. what i mean is that there is a solution to this even if you think theres not. you can recovery. i did it myself, but please don't hesitate to ask for professional help if necessary. i’ll be here for more conversations if you want.
hey,if you need anyone to talk to im here if you want! (also im an army too if that helps ease you into it sksksk) the same applies for anyone reading this,if you wanna talk im here
One of the biggest breakthrough moments of my life is when I learned that binge eating (with out vomiting) was an eating disorder. I will always want to binge and I fight the urge every day.
@@fresia7878 some illnesses/medications can make you hungry all the time too. I was diagnosed by a therapist with binge eating/B.E.D. It's not hard to know without being diagnosed in some cases. Keep your head. I would recommend you see a Dr for underlined causes or a therapist if there is not a medical cause. Good luck xx
@@fresia7878 I am pretty good at identifying my binges because I can remember my first binge vividly. I was overweight my entire life but I wasn't anywhere near obese. That is until my first year of high-school when I moved to a new school where I didn't know anyone and to make matters worse I developed very severe social anxiety to the point that I almost dropped out of school because of it. I remember sitting at home one night and thinking about my next day of school and suddenly I felt a dread that I've never felt before. I didn't know what to do or how to stop it and I was so distressed that I opened the fridge and I devoured everything I found to the point that I was uncomfortably full. Now,I am a person that always ate a lot but the difference is that 1) my binges are usually motivated by negative feelings and are usually a coping mechanism for stress 2) I feel completely out of control while binging like even if I feel like my stomach is about to explode I have to finish whatever I'm eating and sometimes I eat even more, it's a compulsion 3) I don't have cravings for specific foods and neither am I hungry most of the time but I still feel the need to devour everything and I will eat like literally anything, even plain butter ( I know gross) 4) during the binge I eat so fast that I can't even taste the food,I just shove it down my throat and I eat massive amounts of food and while I eat I'm totally out of it, it feels almost like I'm possessed by something, I zone out,kinda like a drug addict and 5) I feel horrible after the binge, both physically (obviously) and mentally,I feel very guilty but I don't purge. Oh and I usually binge at night because I am ashamed of how much I eat. I would say that the difference between binge eating disorder and someone who simply likes food and overeats is like the difference between a person who enjoys alcohol and an alcoholic. Someone who enjoys alcohol does drink more than the average person and they might overdo it when they are with friends or at a party per say but they are not dependent on it. An alcoholic constantly uses alcohol to self meditate and usually drinks a lot alone and he can't stop drinking. That's how I see it. In my mind its a compulsion to eat massive amounts of food and it's usually triggered by negative emotions. I hope this helped and sorry for the rant.
@@fresia7878 To know how much is too much you need to count calories and be honest with yourself over how much you eat and how much you workout. You can do this!
I think someone is watching over me. I have 30 minutes until a doctors appointment to get eating disorder treatment and this video popped up in my feed, i did not search for it. You may have just saved my life. Thank you
I love how everyone is trying to speak out and spread awareness. I was bulimic and anorexic for a yr and my parents didn’t care until my relatives saw how skinny I was. My grandma scolded my parents about my condition and it upset me knowing the fact that my parents got blamed at from my own problem. I stopped the binging and purging progress when my mom started physically hitting me and dragging me around of the house and beating me because she was pissed of me for making her friends see me, a sick person. Her friends kept on talking behind her back calling her names and my mom is beating me for it. I can’t say this method works because I still end up relapsing in some days, but please spread awareness. Skinny is not beautiful, it’s deadly.
My family caused mine by starving me/neglecting me, so I had to get by on whatever I could find, I recently cut them out of my life and relapsed the worst I have ever relapsed. My husband is scared and so am I but we’ve dealt with it before so now we’re trying to get it under control. My family beat me because I stopped singing in the church choir after my boyfriend died because I was grieving. “Parents” like this don’t deserve children. I’m sorry you had this experience. I don’t wish it on anyone.
You have had and still face what is abuse, no way around it. It's no wonder you have turned to the control of your life that is yours, yours alone, ED. I don't know how old you are. I wish I had solutions along with my observation but I don't. If anyone has some solutions for you here I hope you get help. If there is anyway to remove yourself from living with your Mom you very well may be released from the grip of ED, imo. I will pray for you, I hope you find strength to stop and receive the love and support you so richly deserve. From one ED sufferer to another.
It’s when you’re reading the comments that you realize that so many people suffer from ED... as I am part of that too, I wish you all to be able to recover from that. We’re all together in this guys. God bless you
I want to recover from anorexia but i always say "maybe tomorrow" " i'm scared" "next week". i want to live until, 80 i want to have kids, i want to be healthy, i want to enjoy food, but i can't. I need this. Do you have any tips?
@@Ilovehamburger005 honestly you have to really want it. Ana is lying to your face.no it doesnt feel better to starve than to feel full. You will eat and feel guilty a lot for the first few weeks and Itll feel like hell. But it WILL be worth it. Picture your life, do you really want to live like this forever? Do you really want to be obsessed with FOOD out of all things for the rest of your life? It is never too late to change that. If you wanna keep in touch my insta is @ariettx ❤
Thank you for this. Edit: I've watched this everyday since youve posted it and EVERY time it gets better. More powerful. I have never wanted to stop binging and purging more than I do after this video. Mia, I'm going to do this. I am going to recover. I will be a success story. I really hope this video goes viral because its message is so powerful. You are so strong and I am so grateful for you.
Recovery Flower Hi I want to virtually sent you all the strenght you need. When I read your comment I thought of this poem (Im not religious but didnt want to change the original and maybe you are). Our Deepest Fear By Marianne Williamson Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness That most frightens us. We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small Does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking So that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, As children do. We were born to make manifest The glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.
@VICC acc🌻 In English 🌻 I am telling you that you are NOT Ugly or Fat. Only you can really tell yourself that. I don't know You but I do know that anytime we go around trying to telling others about themselves ..we are off track. and usually talking about ourselves in some twisted way. Your mom should be telling you about the things that are beautiful in you. Thats what you deserve to hear. We all do. I'm sorry that she is not. Thats her job. I assure you....those words have much more to do with her self worth than what she thinks of you. Best recipe for moms being innappropriate with daughters, is to Be Healthy . Great Choice. 💛🌷💛
@@nguyenquynhtrang5556 I'm sorry that You also were treated inappropriately by your mom... Her job is to pump you up not pull you down. Speaks volumes about her own self worth. I'm sorry. You deserve better. Be healthy ..You deserve it. 🌲🧘🏻♀️💗
@@avivacrichton6922 2 years in recovery. It's been hard but worth it. Haven't binged & purged in two whole years. This video helped save my life. Thank you
I used to not understand ED at all. I'm horrid that teen me would roll her eyes at the subject and say bullshit like "I wish I had that willpower". It's so destructive, it's terrifying. I'm scared for the people with disordered eating I know. The way your brain can just utterly tear you to shreds is true horror.
When I was a child, I did not understand this issue a lot. I had sympathy for the people that suffered Anorexia and Bullimia. But once you grow up, you begin to understand the severity of it and how scary our brains can become when a person develops those conditions, specially when although you don't have the same condition, you can relate with the others about having obssesive behaviors or feelings of shame over your body. I hope everybody can recover from this agonizing illness.
I didn’t and still can’t to a large degree. As someone who had to fight to live, claw, swing and bite. Not just for me but my mom and little sister. I’ve only valued strength, still do. What these people do doesn’t give strength, just self hate and weakness. So things like this and wanting to be pretty just don’t click to me.
Trauma and illness. Your brain is YOU. You do not obviously want to kill yourself. These thoughts comes from the OUTSIDE This is why LOVING yourself is the cure!
I had no words. I remember crying while eating, and then purging in the shower, or in my bedroom in a bag. One day, i was home alone, and I purge. The vomit came to my nose and I couldn't breath for 5 seconds. I know it sounds a little bit crazy but... I feel I was going to die, alone. And the fact here is thay my low steem was so bad that... I think I deserved... Im okay now, I finished that horrible circle, I was afraid of my parents when they found out..But I was more afraid of the way I was slowly killing myself. Your video is incredible, its eye-opening. Nobody, NOBODY deserves waking up without knowing if he/she will end the day alive. Thank you, you are beautiful, have a nice day❤
We all wake up not knowing if we will make it to bedtime. You know...natural stuff- murder, accidents. But my assisting the grim reaper is what shames me.
I'm getting through phase 1, the one when you start doing more excercise, skipping breakfast somedays, quiting dinner, quiting junk food, eating less, trying to stay stand moving, doing chores, walking to everywhere and checking on yourself in the mirror everytime you finish a meal so you can get sure you didnt get fat. I havent see the video yet, but I really hope it makes me stop, before this gets any far, because this is already driving me insane. I'm sorry about my writting, english is not my first language.
hey, i know its only the first 'stage' but its still very dangerous. i cant say much but it is still deadly especially if it gets worse but just because you're not at the worst that other people have been at doesn't mean you dont deserve help. i remember telling myself i wasnt sick enough. Please get help before it gets any worse my love
I wish I could say something wise and informative, but I feel a bit numb after watching this video. I watched it twice (crying both times).. ... I feel only a great love for you, and send prayers that you can do what is best for your body and soul , getting better every day, one day at a time.... With much love A sister from Ireland, P ♥️
This photo did it for me about 10 years ago. I still purged after seeing it (as I wasn’t cured over night) but every time I did it, I saw that photo. I’ve been recovered for about 8 years. Still, whenever I get full and start to feel like I’m mindlessly binging, she pops up in my head 😕
When you started talking about the emotions and how you could feel what she felt...I had to stop watching. It became all to real. This is such a needed video.
All I can think about is how scared and alone she must have felt in those moments leading up to her death. I clicked on this video not expecting to be moved or shocked that much. Boy was I wrong. That image and its gruesome context is well and truly burned into my mind forever now. I never knew her, but I'll never forget her. RIP.
I realized last night that I have an eating disorder. It happened in a flash of second. From the past few months all I've been doing is finding ways to starve my body so I can look at myself in the mirror again. I've tried fasting, stupid diets but nothing works because I end up binging as soon as I end my fast. Last night I binged after fasting for 5 days. I didn't think how bad that would affect me till I couldn't breathe. My stomach hurt and I couldn't breathe. So I purged. And quickly opened TH-cam to search for a new way to starve myself till a short movie about eating disorder was recommended by TH-cam. So I watched it. And it hit me. But I ignored it and continued looking for ways. This morning I woke up to this video in my recommendation and I hesitated to watch it at first. But I thank God I did. I'm going to respect my body and the life that is given to me. I'm done.
You really made me face the fact that if I continue this, I will be dead at my own hands, and my loved ones could find me like this, just like her, organs ruptured, on the floor. May the powers that be bless you for what you've done for others by sharing this. Today is the day I change.
Years ago, when my binging was really bad, I would sometimes eat so much food it was difficult to breathe. Once I was lying on my back crying, I couldn't breathe in cause my stomach was so stretched it was painful and I was thinking: 'God, it feels like my stomach is ripping'. I was afraid but I wasn't sure it was an actual possibility!!! And I didn't know that expanding the stomach could kill the tissue. I'm shocked and in tears right now. I don't want to binge ever again. I will definitely keep this story in mind when I measure my portions.
to the girls and boys going through EDs, stay strong. whether you have been clean for 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 week, 1 month, or 1 year. congratulations, that’s incredible. i personally do not deal with an eating disorder, but it’s incredibly saddening the amount of people who have to deal with this. please, please, please, know that people are always here to help.
Good on ya for making this and having the courage to show that image..... And bless that poor girls family for doing something that just may save a life or two. I have never had an ED but I really appreciate the education you are providing.
What Mia Did Next, it's wonderful of you to be dedicated to helping others struggling like you did! I'm so glad you're better now. Keep up the good work.
There was this girl i went to school with who was significantly skinnier than me (lets call her K) and one day after lunch i went to my locker and got a cheese stick because i didnt have enough time to finish my food and was a little hungry. I was already embarrassed that i was eating right after lunch and K said something like "We got a foodie over here!" Kinda loud (then again the building was small and it didnt take that much to be loud). My face turned red and i asked her "Can you please not" trying to be my badass persona, when she left i ran to the bathroom and tried to throw it back up (luckily i couldn't) and i sat there for a minute crying. I didn't eat at school for a solid 3-5 weeks after that
Awwww 😓😔😭 I'm sooo sorry for u, just remember Ur amazing, every single human being is unique and the world would be a worse place without any one of us 💔💛 Btw sry I'm not that good about talking bout stuff but just want u to know that u an amazing unique individual
Love, I'm so sorry someone said that to you 💙💙💙💙 if only hurt people didnt turn around just to hurt more people. I pray you know your worth and no one ever says something like that to you again 💙💙💙💙
THANK YOU for posting this. At 13 my friend, Ellie, showed me how she keeps her weight from going up further by binging and purging. Lucky for me, I could not stand vomiting, instead I chose exercise and eating healthy. While Ellie continued and eventually died due to heart failure. I wish we would have known then what we know now.
I personally have spoken with you over social media and you are singlehandedly been the most beneficial and inspiring people i've ever had the privilege and absolutely honor to view and speak to. you're truly doing the most amazing thing and using a platform like youtube to spread a positive and real message. You give a voice I wish I had for years and for that I thank you endlessly.
Oh my god I remember this website. I never came across that post though. I was in denial in the same way you were. I always justified my b/p because I was on the chubbier side and I told myself eds are only serious if you're too skinny (I know that's bullshit but that's what I told myself). Unfortunately I had severe depression and was suicidal for a long time, so I actually started hoping it would kill me. I'm starting to cry thinking about that. I was actually that miserable I hope what happened to that girl would happen to me because I was in so much emotional pain. I'm still not sure how I made it out of that alive, but I did and I am so grateful for that. Thank you for this video. My heart feels so heavy for that girl and her family. It brings tears to my eyes to know that I could've missed out on being as happy as I am now because that could have been me.
I am SO grateful for that website, I should really write to whoever is running it to say thank you. Might have taken a while but it definitely contributed and still contributes to my recovery. I am so glad that you are still here Georgia, and that you are HERE and HAPPY!
Georgia I've been in the same position and I've always felt my ED is not serious enough because I'm overweight. I stopped caring what my ED did to my health because I didn't want to be here anyway. Those memories are awful. I'm finally getting support and I'm not suicidal anymore, but it still feels a long way to go. Well done for persevering xx
It's always been glamorised that you die from heart failure or an arrithmyia. I've never heard of ruptured stomach but that's so scary and makes so much sense. The damage we've done to ourselves is overwhelming. The gas. The pain. The heartburn. I'm so glad I got help when I did. I hope people gain something from this! I was never underweight that's why it baffled so many people that I battles bulimia for nearly 5 years xx
Diane Piddock glamorized heart failure? 😢 honey, I stopped purging about 10 years ago, and I’ve had two open heart surgeries since. Heart failure is a sad, sad life. I am always weak and my highest weight ever, and if I weren’t a mom with a wonderful son, I would give up. I understand what you are thinking, though, I’ve been there. Honestly though, I’d choose a ruptured stomach over heart failure.
First: I have the same bed. Second: since seeing that photo and hearing you discuss what she went through as she died.... Zero bingeing. Thank you for postng this. I don't want to die from food. I'm now eating like a reasonable human being and healing myself with the thing I used to poison myself with. And getting on with my life and my dreams.
kayla gutierrez I recovered bulimia after 4,5 years - from I was 17 to 21-22ish. I'm now 28. Keep on fighting, it is hard - it is worth it, you will feel so free! I
Man, I wish I had seen that photo years ago... maybe it would've woken me up... how am I even alive?! I battled for almost 20 years. Thank you for showing that photo. It's graphic and disturbing but real. I'm in near hysterics after seeing it. Feeling upset and sad and guilty and yet lucky to be alive... I want more people to see what can happen. I don't want anyone dying that way. I don't want anyone else to go through this.This is yet again, an incredibly important point being made. Thank you for having the guts to stand up and talk about these things. I need this channel! Thank you.
The trolls always end up finding these videos. Don't worry about them too much; if they want to leave a comment demonstrating their idiocy, that's their prerogative.
decayedcake The stomach is a muscular organ, your other organs are also partially made of smooth muscle but that has nothing to do with whether or not it can rupture. Your stomach absolutely can rupture and the medical term for this is gastrointestinal perforation. I don't think doing a google search implies a wasted mind, but it definitely prevents you from sounding like an idiot on the internet.
decayedcake I don't have an eating disorder, but my stomach almost ruptured from another illness and surgeons had to remove part of it, so yes it most definitely can rupture.
Thank you sooo much for sharing this. I too was under the impression that bulimia was more safe than anorexia and therefore I didn't need to be concerned. IT IS NOT TRUE and there needs to be more education that explains this. Thank you for adding that content to the world. I pray that this prevents someone from going down this road.
I just turned 70 years old. I have 5 people I know that have dealt with this. Different outcomes. 1) My cousin. Always battling with her weight. She is 3 years older than I. So, when she was in high school , I believe, she confessed to me that she decided she’d “purge” after eating to use that to control the amount she ate. It just seemed a logical way to be able to eat h things you loved/wanted, without the discipline & no having to deal with the consequences (of gaining weight). BUT why she told me was I believe she needed to tell someone this fact, & I never forgot it. She got to the point where she couldn’t control the vomit mechanism & that scared her very much. After eating, her body would go right into wanting to vomit. The fear of lost control wasn’t something she expected. I’m happy to say, she somehow stopped, got married & had children & is a grandmother today. 2) In high school was a very nice sweet girl named Debbie Washburn. Freshman year (age 14-15) she was normal. But by 16 she was a walking skeleton. Literally. With the whole bobble head! We wore wool uniform skirts for school, so you wouldn’t notice. But in the summer, she babysat these children at my swim club. She’d wear a 2-piece/bikini bathing suit. She was blind but no tan. Pure white! And she was absolutely a skeleton. Because of no nutrients, her bruises wouldn’t heal or scabs would be on her legs. She would walk around the pool & you couldn’t help stare. She looked GASTLY!!! Awful! Scary. No one had ever heard of anorexia before. This is like 1968. I felt so sorry for her because of all the staring. But I now understand, SHE LOVED IT! She believed that people marveled at how thin she was. No! We were looking at a Nazi concentration camp victim! And it certainly wasn’t pretty! In 1970 she ended up in the hospital. My oldest friend went to visit her twice. She would have panic attacks about getting fat. She believed she was fat! She couldn’t see it. I was in Europe when my parents wrote me that she had died. At 17 years old. It just devastated her family. They dedicated this garden at my high school in her name. I just sobbed. 3) Another high school classmate. She seemed fine in high school She did go to college. May even have graduated. But soon after, she died of anorexia! I couldn’t believe it because she knew Debbie Washburn & what happened to her! She was only in her early 20’s! Such a waste!! 4) My cousin, a year older than me. She was adopted, so not sure how that played into her self esteem. But YEARS of anorexia & then bulimia. Then drugs & alcohol. Many trips to rehab but only to learn more tricks. She never married. No children. Lived in a trailer. Had crazy boyfriends. Maybe even abusive ones. Died alone. Never found for days until some friend, a guy maybe a “boyfriend”. No one knows how long she had been dead. The guy found her brother’s phone number & told him. It could have been a month that she had died! Ended up being buried in a mass grave with strangers who had no money. She was in her late 60’s. Awful. 5) A girlfriend. I was living in an apartment building & leaving as she & her parents were helping her move in. I could tell she was around my age. This is now 1980’s & I’m 30-ish. She was wearing sweats - sweat pants & a sweatshirt. But I knew “that look”. The skinny neck & bobble head. A year-ish late, I decided to initiate a conversation & we came friends along with my other friend who also lived in the building. The 3 Amigos! She battled terribly, horribly with it all! Starving, then purging. It ruined all her teeth. The acid when you purge destroys your teeth. She was dating a dentist, so he put in all this lead. (Porcelain hadn’t been “invented” then for teeth.) She lost her period for years. To be very honest, I asked her if she wanted to give her life to Jesus & ask Him into her heart. She did. And her life started to change. It was instantaneous but little by little. First thing was her period was restored! Then, after being a vegetarian, she realized it was just another control mechanism. She was set free of that. She got married, had a child. She was trying for a second child but he doctors said (even though she already had a child without doing this) that the mercury from all the lead in her teeth was restricting her from getting pregnant again. She gets it all taken out. But now years later, she had to replace most of her mouth/teeth that cost her $35,000!!! Better that than death!! But she sure is a success story! Praise Jesus! Please get all the help you can. It’s an evil spirit that speaks lies to you! Or it’s a deeper lie you are believing. All lies!!! And only death. You don’t become more attractive. It’s the opposite! And then all your time is spent on THAT. No room for boyfriends. Or just friends! DON’T DIE ALONE!! Just like that photo. Ask God to help you AND HE WILL!!! And tell those lying demons to shut up!! And loudly, too! Say: “In Jesus’ Name, LEAVE ME!” They HATE the name of Jesus because He has the power to cast them out. They don’t want to leave you. But they must, especially when you say that name! The Bible says: “Resist the devil & he will flee!” Blessings on this channel & blessings on a you who slogged through all my stories. May certain ones scare you to stop & others that encourage you that you will live & thrive!! Get yourself better dreams!
God I remember when my tongue became white and i couldn't eat because of it , and I remember drinking 2.5 liter coke bottle just to throw up hard and get all the food out , god I can't believe how toxic my mind was , bulimia is horrible and its really isn't worth it .now im overweight but you know what ? Im so fucking happy with my self . (Update: still fighting . )
Re Re its not worth it. when I was in recovery it took me years to accept that I am born to be a curvy type of woman not the thin models in the media they're not living in your life. it took me years just to be comfortable in a curvy body like I have today.
mangoplantbased im so happy for you !!! ❤️❤️ same thing with me , we don't have any "skinny" people in our family , either average or overweight. But the thing is my mom used to fat shame me .. and thats how my "DIEt" started .. then i became anorexic then bulimic. Which is sad . But i forgave her .
Wow, I mean, I frightened myself recently with bringing up blood and a tooth falling out (i also make videos about eating disorders) but I didnt really realise just how bad it can get, people mostly focus on anorexia as the main killer with eating disorders, bulimia always felt like the lesser evil, I am slowely realising this is not the case, I was nervous to click on this video as I knew it would be a little slap in the face, but thank you for making it! Sending love to anybody who is still going through this, I try to support people through the videos I make but only have a small platform, its nice to see people with a bigger platform making these videos
That doesn't make you a bad person! It's always depicted as a female teenagers problem primarily, it's nice to know I'm not the only mum too, I feel extremely selfish with my eating disorder!
TY for being real, direct and honest. You will change lives with your truth. I too knew anorexia=death but, did not believe bulimia killed or even had such dangerous consequences. I had always been a fat child but, I had an neck injury doing gymnastics in highschool and it kept me in traction for months in hospital allowing me to lose weight. Suddenly I was beautiful, I was stopped in the street and offered modeling and pageant work. Highschool boys asked me out & girls who bullied me now wanted to be my friend. I hated them all for being such hypocrites. I fell back to old habits and started gaining weight. I panicked but, my model friends said "no, come with me" and taught me to purge. We had gorging parties like drug addicts then took turns vomiting ( it was disgusting. Many drank or did drugs because they hated themselves so they made mistakes and messes. This photo is so vivid because I saw it in person many times. I went twice to rehab left modeling and gained lots of weight but, it was better then the vicious cycle and physical assault to my body daily. Please hear me and this lovely brave woman. YOU need to stop justifying and glamorizing b&p it is a dance with the devil. YOU are so much more, so much better. Reach out there is much help and sisterhood. Blessings and THANKS.
I'm 62 now, have struggled with disordered eating all my life but left behind the active binging and purging in my early 20s after there was blood in my vomit. (Probably just a ruptured vessel in my throat, but it still scared me.) My niece, age 30ish, is a full blown purger--not sure if she binges, too, probably she doesn't eat much. She got scary skinny a couple years ago and is now in therapy, has gotten up to culturally acceptable skinny, but when I last saw her I watched her eat 3-4 cake pops at a shower, then spend time in the bathroom, so...she's still struggling. I wish I had the courage to send her this video. 😔
Just send it and tell her to watch. You don’t need courage, just take a deep breath and then hit send. This could potentially save her, which makes it worth it
As soon as you showed the picture and read the speech , I cried so much. I finally realised what I was doing is wrong. TO ANYONE WHO SUFFERS FROM EATING DISORDERS, I'M SO SORRY AND STAY STRONG.
I think the scariest part about this is that even when she saw the photo and made her realize truly how deadly it was, she didn't get into recovery for *2 years.* Believe it or not, a lot of people with ED's KNOW they will die from it. Hell, I don't even think I'm gonna make it past 20. It's a scary and terrifying illness and is the most deadly mental illness. First time I saw this image was about a year or two ago. It was weird to think about but by now I've accepted this as reality and that this kills, doesn't matter how old you are, what race/ethnicity you are, what gender, anything. Eating Disorders do not discriminate.
@@urmom-np8yq i guess it would depend but go ahead. of course it's not always gonna work but it might give them a reality check if they don't already know of all the dangers of bulimia
@@hqmemelords2240 yeah they are sucidal as well so im worried they might be like "oh well, guess I'll just die like this". also idk if it world be better to send the link or the video? hmm
@@urmom-np8yq maybe try to tell them first smth like "please watch this video, this is what can happen if you keep doing this" or "please watch this video, hopefully this'll make you think about recovery" bc forcing someone into recovery doesn't work. just hope it'll push them towards recovery even just a bit
This video is going to help a lot of people. I was bulimic for 2 years in high school. The day I moved out of my parents' house, it just stopped. I was under such traumatic stress at home that the only comfort I found was food. Then I would feel regret and I'd worry that I was going to get fat. I'd eat sugary things and then purge. I thought I was going crazy because way back then, there wasn't even a NAME for this disorder and Anorexia Nervosa had just been named. Anyone out there who is having binging and purging, you CAN get better. Things WILL get better and you WILL BE LOVED. May all find the strength within to conquer this condition. I am in my late 60's now and I am so glad I didn't give up the fight. I made a good life for myself, all by myself. You can too.
I am pretty sure I have some type of eating disorder. I am terrified of gaining weight and only eat during a small period of the day. When I do eat, I sometimes end up binging, and will become extremely upset with myself. I have no idea what to do. I can't tell my parents, because they don't seem to be understanding or legitimate with this kind of stuff. Please help 💕
Same!!! I binged tonight and I feel like I have to diet hardcore tomorrow. There are times Whenever I come downstairs to look in the fridge or pantry for food, I always look at calories and turn away snacks I think are too much. Then there are times I full on binge, leaving me feeling extremely upset with myself wanting to exercise more. I would like to exercise more but since I have a bulging disc, I don’t get to exercise everyday, and that discourages me. I can totally relate to you. I am so caught up in gaining weight, that I check how much I weigh nearly everyday. I make sure u burn half of what I eat when I’m at the gym. And I’m constantly caught up in how my thighs look, considering for the fact I have a pear shaped body.
@@summerchild_ Something that helped me when I was at my peak with suicidal thoughts: You’re going to die. It’s inevitable. It doesn’t change for anybody because nobody is special with death. However, not everybody gets to live, either. It’s such a rarity to be alive, to experience pain and sadness and joy and elation, and you might as well enjoy it with the tiny amount of time you have, because it will be gone soon no matter what.
@maggypetrov Beautfully put, darling. Yes, everyone has a chance to recover and live life to the fullest! There was a time for me when I found comfort in the fact that I could always turn back to my ED, but being FULLY recovered now and knowing the truth about food, why would I want to? I guess it eventually stops giving you a hard time. Just be patient and don't depend on what you think you know in the beginning.
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it’s not the picture that disturbed me it was the autopsy report
I know, it’s terrifying itself.
Same...
Me to tbh
Me too. It actually made my limbs feel like jelly when I was hearing it.
Yes - unutterably sad and desperate 🥺
What a horrible waste of a beautiful young woman 😔
I haven’t purged since I watched this video. Just wanted to put that out there
Congratulations! I'm trying too....so, fighting!!
i hope you keep going 🥺🥺 i’m proud we are proud, know that.
Been two months since I posted the comment and had a temporary slip up about a week ago but that was it.
@@siennafreyja5400 slipping up can be hard, but keep trying to get better, we'll be here for you
Well done guys, keep strong xxx
Today I binged and didn't purge tomorrow I will stop restricting my calories too please wish me luck guys 🙏🏻
Pretty Oz how r u now? Hope you’re going well ❤️
update?💕
Almost a year later i hope you're doing well
Update?
Pretty Oz how are you ?
This is the kind of content thst saves lives. Dead, swollen, bruised bodies and autopsy reports of what killed them. Not "look how thin I was". That is just triggering.
when i was at the height of my severe ED, that type of video is what i searched up on purpose as “inspiration” 🥴… they were basically bulimia and anorexia tutorial videos, and they taught me everything i used to hurt myself with for so long 🙁
Yes dear. You are correct. Show THIS at high schools.
the autopsy report was more disturbing than the image itself, i think. horrifying. my heart goes out to anyone who suffers from any sort of eating disorder.
Fawkes definitely
@Fawkes thank you. 🙏❤️
Thank you
It really puts binging into perspective in a way that I'm sure other unaffected people like myself were not aware of. Jesus Christ.
Moira Piper that is what led to Karen Carpenter’s death - she was regularly abusing syrup of ipecac and it caused her heart to give out. I hope you are now free from your eating disorder, or at least in a better place
The picture itself is disturbing, yes, but can we talk about the autopsy report? Her stomach *split open* from eating too much food from starving herself. Her brain swelled up and bursted through her skull *before she died.* That. That is graphic. That would make me stop. Imagine going through that type of pain, alone, huddled over your toilet, feeling the sensation of your stomach rupturing and your brain swelling so much to the point it starts to pop out of your head. I would never want to experience anything like that, and no one else should either.
I wasn't shocked by the picture but when she started to read and describe de autopsy... that really made me uncomfortable
That made me stop 🙏
@@nathana4963 I hope you're doing good
Reading this made my body convulse out of sheer horror and disgust. Really sounds AWFUL!!
How is it humanly possible to eat that much?!
"It's a terrible way to live. It's a terrible way to die." I've never heard a better way to explain eating disorders/ even mental health problems in general
Lol not everyone can control what happens to them...
Vesta Strega Actually you can, you just have to *work* for it and NEVER give up
But can you choose to live like that? Uhm I certainly cannot.
dina marie I don't think that they chose to live like that but I think what they mean is that you can always choose to get help and at least TRY to recover
Lol 😝
hi im coming back a year after watching this to tell you this video saved my life, thank you.
edit: you guys comments are making me tear up, I hope you all find recovery ❤️ and yes i’m doing good and haven’t purged in a very long time :)
I’m so proud of you ❤️
I’m proud
im just here to say i’m extremely proud of you❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so proud of you! ❤️ Keep up the good work, you can do this! 💪
i'm sooo proud of you❤
My heart goes out to those poor parents This was their little baby once.
As a mother I feel the parents pain
I learned psychologie and I thought if one of my child had to present symptômes of any kind of mental or comportemental behaviour problem or deseases I would be able to recognize it and act fast. Well I was so wrong. My daughter is anorexic.. i forgot one elementar lesson : every individu live his or her sickness differently. I had the théorique knowkedge but it wasn't enough. Now we , me ,my husband, my son and my other daughter are unite to help her and she wants to get better. But its hard because everytime she gain just 200 or 300 gr she cries : " I don't want to be fat. I don't want people telling me that I am fat " because it is how all started, people saying to her "you are chubby " " I thought asian girls where suppose to be skinny why are you chubby?". (My husband is chinese and I am belgo moroccan. So our kids are mixed. ). All those words haunted her mind and then it started. The worst thing is that those who were mocking her changed their discours and complimented her for her weight loss. People are so shallow.
Every meal is an fight but she hold on. I told her to leave behind her all those idiots that were toxic for her. She doesn't contact them anymore. We still have a long road but she start to realize that she have a lot of project and if she want to be able to reach her objectifs she have too gain weight. And of course we are help by our family doctor.
Thank you for your testimony. I wish you the best.
Sorry for my basic english but its hard to explain proprely in another language something so deep.
@@myriammachiche1030 Thank you for sharing. I am wishing you and your family all the best.
@@ericabassi7728 Thank you. I wish you the same. You are courageous and you care for others. Continue to fight you are a light for those who are still in the dark of this deseases. Good continuation.
Omg complete shattered their world, finding their beautiful baby like this 😪😪😪
Poor girl. She literally died alone not only in such physical pain but with those thoughts that have been festering in her mind for years 😢 and then to imagine the people that cared about her...
😣😖😫😭😥😞
I'm a mortuary student that's been struggling with anorexia and purging as a desperate measure (the irony isn't lost on me...I know....)
I'm trying to find the full autopsy report out of my own curiosity, but from what the video said, the poor girl was most likely comatose before she even knew what was happening to her. Not saying she died instantly. But I'm pretty certain she just went dark and never came back.
Not trying to diminish the message of the video. I just thought I'd share because I know we're an empathetic bunch.
@@texas1949 eating disorders stem from trauma, typically. The appearance is typically enmeshed with low self esteem, a warped perception of oneself etc. By the time someone is very ill, it is so incredibly more complex than someone being concerned about their appearance.
andrielisilien no one cared about her. So many signs people just don’t care
@@DaveyDingles was saying the same thing the brain and body shouldve gone into shoke the moment of the tear,if she felt anything it was a fast presure release
*Clicks even tho I don't have an ED*
I am sooo sorry for however suffers from this..
Sad Youth I’m sorry, but what’s wrong with that?
Sad Youth why are you so bitter? She was being nice
@@xtwoonetwosixxx even tho they dont have an ED, they still can try and say helpful words for people who has an ED (not like the ED voices, like try and recover kind of things)
But i do see why you lashed out like this but still should do that to random people online.
Hope all have a good day and who ever has an ED, i hope you seek help b4 it's too late.
thank you... *appreciates*
@@xtwoonetwosixxx Get some helps and get well soon of your ED.
When people say you shouldn't glamorous eating disorders, this is what we mean!!! This photo is the true face of eating disorders.
The most terrifying part of the picture is thinking that that could've been you.
It brought back memories of cold bathroom floors and purging until my throat felt like it was on fire and my heart felt like it was trembling and my stomach was cramping.
We're often told that eating disorders kill but to truly see it with your own eyes is chilling.
Meanwhile there's people on TikTok glamourising and romanticising eating disorders.
Twitter's proana community is flabbergasting. but mostly I was heartbroken at what all these kids were doing to themselves.
TikTok is so toxic
During 2020 I was so close to being just like her if I hadn't turned it around this would've been me that's terrifying
It all starts so innocent 😳. First you cut a few hundred calories and exercise a little more. Then you read every single food label and record every single calorie you eat including a piece of gum. Then you find yourself obsessing over the fat on your legs and stomach and face every moment of the day. All day long you think about food and your weight and how it's never good enough. The anorexia lead me into bulimia for two years. I would eat normally but purge and under eat and then binge. I have not purged or straved myself since 2014. I am finally free. The bad thoughts still linger but I've chosen to be stronger than they are 💖.,
Kara Bear You're so strong! I wish you the best in life ❤ ❤ ❤
Kara Bear I wish you all the best! Don't let these thoughts EVER convince you, they ARE wrong! Keep being the wonderful and healthy person you are and strive to be! ❤️ I celebrate your freedom!
I'm in that first phase but I'm trying not to let it evolve too much. One week I was eating around 450 calories a day but now I'm up to 800-1000. Kinda hate eating cos I have trouble controlling it but then I go into days where I just don't. It's pretty confusing but I'm definitely more aware of it now and try to have a good balance. Congrats on beating it
Kara Bear So glad you are doing well.
Kara Bear omg ur inspirational
The photo wasn’t what did it for me, the paragraph made things real. For me.
Same.
I didnt really get the photo to be honest
‼️‼️ I just want to warn everyone. 8 years in with bulimia, I’ll say that the video shows a very natural progression of the disease that is scary but in no way surprising. No one is in the clear, even those who don’t binge. Yes her stomach rupturing was the catalyst of her death, but purging normal amounts of food, even just casually a few times a week, can lead to the same end.
My bulimia started off as just restricting and purging as a ballet dancer. But when the body doesn’t get enough calories and physical and mental stress develop, binging becomes a natural defense reaction that is NOT under conscious control, 1. Mentally due to the addiction that develops as a reliever of the constant torture the brain/body is under and 2. Physically, Due to the limbic system taking control upon starvation. I ended up in the hospital like the deceased girl due to a binge. Because I was so thin my stomach stretched to unnatural volumes when binging to the point that it was physically hard to breath and walk. I starved myself into eating about as much as the deceased girl did, at which point I could hardly breathe. To accommodate for this my spine, that is supposed to curve inward, curved outward and overstretched to the point where my torso looked like an egg. This put a strain on my spine and the caused compression of the nerves made worse with the blow of vomiting.
One night a bad binge caused both a ruptured stomach ulcer, leading to loss of blood, while the pressure of the vomiting caused sudden damage to the nerves in my spine leading to a condition called neurogenic shock (the same condition that the girl in the video faced, but I was lucky enough to recover). I was alone driving home from a binge after work around 1 am when I lost feeling in my limbs, felt heat fill up in my stomache and my heart/breath slow way down all at once. I stopped the car and called 9-11 half conscious but there was no service, so in complete terror, nearly unconscious, I crashed my car pulling into the nearest gas station where the police found me gasping for air, heart rate in the 20s-30s, limbs shaking uncontrollably from the cold, unable to move. I was lucky enough to get to the hospital and recover from the shock.
The incident caused decreased control over my lower body and now I can never dance like I used to, can barely feel anything beneath the site of the injury and have permanent muscle tension in my thighs.
This disorder is so addictive because it’s like a voice reassuring you that you are the one calling the shots. NEVER listen to that voice because it is simply wrong and it is out to kill. With enough poor choices the disorder becomes something that is in no way your choice, with lethal consequences. I never imagined this outcome as a 12 year old little dancer who wanted a trick to look pretty enough to be in the spotlight. I never imagined it would take over my life. It is not worth it. If you have ANY form of this disorder however severe. Please do not deny the fear of the consequences because they are VERY real. and Even when they don’t take your life they might take what was most important to you.
Thanks, let’s continue to support each other ❤️
Thank you for sharing us your story. I cried watching this. Hope you will fully recover from eating disorder and this will never happen again on anyone.
Wow. Reading this made me tear up.. that is so incredibly scary. Im 13, and I am currently suffering with disordered eating, reading your comment, and the others has made me want to recover. Thank you for sharing your story :) you’re so strong
I am so, so sorry. I’m just so sorry you’ve been through this.
@@user-pc8hx5jk7b I’m glad it motivated you, you and everyone suffering from EDs deserve to be healthy and strong ❤️🩹
Thank you for sharing your story. I've had an eating disorder since I was 12 years old! I am in my 50s!! I've been hospitalized 3 times. Even now, I have an occasional bout of binges and purging. My body weight is normal , so you can't tell by looking at me that I'm always watching every single bit of food I put in my body. It's a horrible disease of the mind . It really takes over your brain and your life. So many things I didn't do because of the way I felt about my body. I missed out on a lot of social gatherings because I've always felt too fat. Nobody knew my pain inside. I covered it very well. But when I was younger, I couldn't stop purging through vomiting and compulsive exercising. I'm better now, but after hearing your story and watching this video, I'm still considered a bulimic . It's just has become a way of life for me. When I go for a physical and my sugar and pressure is low, I know it's from dieting, purging , and exercising. I never tell a doctor that I've been purging for over 40 years! Wow, to even admit that and come to terms with that ,makes me feel sad. So many years I've wasted on this disorder! Well, I'm saying too much. But, thank you for sharing your story again. I hope you're doing much better now.
I'm an overeater. And my hugs and prayers go out to everyone - overeating, undereating, binging... God bless us all!
Hugs 🤗
I am an overeater as well. I want to stop 🙏🏻
I’m sending you & everyone reading this prayers to overcome our ED. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Same, now I'm scared because I binge sometimes
god bless you honey ♡
Hugs! We all need to stick together. 💜
I watched this during my eating disorder and called it stupid. now, in recovery for 6 months, im crying so hard. Thank you.
Kenzie H ah well girl you got this!!
@Kenzie H So happy for you.
@@glasshalffull1992 That comment was a year ago and im so glad you replied so i could see it. Damn has it been awhile. Thank you.
@@kenzieh419 i am so glad you are recovering!!! i hope you are still doing well! sending love and support!
💗💗💗💗💗
For any interested.
The photo? This young girl wasn't bruised... the blood had pooled due to gravity.
"Dependent lividity" if I remember correctly
yep yep
Algor livor
And her stomach being that taught and bloated was from gases building post-mortem. Saw some comments saying there was no way she weighed so little. Smh. The body does crazy shit when we die. (Sorry...Mortuary student with an ED here)
Yes, the blood had pooled to the lower extremities due to the fact that the heart had stopped pumping it through the body and gravity as you mentioned. Which caused the blood to pool beneath the skin. And that... Is called bruising.
This is probably one of the saddest most terrifying ways to die
It would have been quite painful too... it wouldn't have lasted terribly long though, For What Little comfort that might give to her parents. Kudos and gratitude to them for their generosity and courage in sharing her story ...knowing the picture is out there or they could stumble upon it and still being willing to share it.
Ive had this disease for 36yrs.. Im now 48yrs old .... Im ready now. My heart / my brain/ my stomach and colon lining are shedding and I kno I will die from this. I needed to see this video. I kno its not too late to get help. Im sobbing as I type this and I am exhausted from this illness. All I kno is that I need help. Thank you for sharing . ❤
@Really Though it is not easy I have to say.. But I do my best everyday to lessen the urge and am on a waiting list to see a counsellor.. As I know support and help will be needed. Its a big illness to tackle alone and I do want to be free from this no matter how hard it will be at first. Thanks for asking. :)
hope you get all the help you can. Don't hesitate to contact ANYBODY when you feel bad or feel the urges. I'm thinking of you. You deserve to live the rest of your life peacefully and not in hell. You are worth so much more than this. Please recover. You can do it, you deserve it, you are wonderful. Don't binge and purge today, don't restrict today, love yourself today and then do the same tomorrow and everyday from now on. Sending you lots and lots and lots of love
@@hannahw4990 thank you so ,so much. I truly appreciate that.. Its a daily struggle..somedays are better than others, but, I am determined to get better, and I thank you again for the well wishes. 🙏🙏😉
Kara Gerlock how are you today?💕
I hope you're doing better!
I pushed myself to recover while I was pregnant. I had to feed myself in order to feed my daughter. She was our first baby to ever make it full term. We lost two babies mid pregnancy before her. She's the most important thing in my life. My husband supported me through good and bad days and I still struggle sometimes. My postpartum body and depression took a huge toll on me and my body image isn't the best. But I have a beautiful 7 month old to show for it
be strong for her, she deserves the best version of yourself! take it easy everything will be ok ;)
I can't even get a chance to get the chance of getting my only thing that I have ever wanted out of my life and I wanted to be a mom and I was for only one hour and I lost my baby boy due to stress that my husband was putting me through this was a horrible day and I have no chance to try to have a baby again I had lost to much and I had to go to surgery and have hysterectomy I don't know how much you have been through but honey I have to say that you are so blessed and I don't have a doubt in my mind that God has given you a little child and is sending you a message from him to you and that is not to be so unhappy about the amount of weight that you have. You are created in his image and it is not about what you weigh or don't weigh in Gods eyes your perfect imperfections or not you have been given the greatest gift that he is also able to do that is the best gift ever and it's your child now it's time for you to be the best role model for the rest of your child's life and with that you are never going to be seen less than the greatest of all in the world to this child be happy with your own self and that will reflect on your child and be a proud lady don't ever let anyone tell you anything else no one is judged by god for what you weigh just remember that God loves you so much and so will your child.
I'm so glad you're able to share your story. My mother had postpartum depression when she had me, and it completely held her back from taking care of me (I had lots of care from grandparents and I am extremely close with my mom, so pls don't think she neglected me)
You did a great job to bring a beautiful baby into this world to loving parents. The harsh reality is that the struggle will always be there some days, and that's okay. You got through the tough part. You can get through even more.
Katrina Farias-Bissonnette OMG you're a child look at the profile pictures seriously that's so messed up >:(
It's so great to hear that you both have made it this far, everyone here is proud of you for achieving this for not only yourself, but for her too. Stay strong.
TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT THE PICTURE IS BEFORE THEY LOOK:
It's basically a girl. You can't see her face but she is covered in bruises and is on the bathroom floor on her knees with her head bowed. She is not alive. The story is about her stomach splitting because she ate too much food after starving. Don't watch if death/EDs trigger you or if you have a weak stomach/can't hear stories about these things x
Lauren Basham im really wondering how she got allll those terrible bruises 😞
emma g I think it’s when some has passed away their skin bruises due to the tissue decaying but I’m not 100%
I think it was when she was binging, her stomach expanded. When your stomach expands to much it will crush blood vessels and cause bruises. Her blood vessels were crushed just above the genitalia, causing everything below her stomach to bruise.
Lauren Basham it is not bruising. When you die your blood stops circulating so it pools at the lowest place, which for her was where she looks bruised. A person that dies on their backs has that discoloration on their back parts of the body. I only know because I have been in health care for most of my life and dealt with death. The picture is so heart breaking though.
yes, all dead people will get these bruises/marks after a couple of hours being dead. it's called livor mortis.
I did NOT expect the autopsy report to hit me so hard. I felt physical discomfort in my stomach and head when you talked about her stomach ripping and her brain swelling. I do not have anorexia or bulimia but I have binge ate for years. I... I will not be binging ever again. I am shaking.
I hope you are doing better❤️best wishes to you
@@fresia7878 same girl
How are you doing now?
binge eating isn’t necessarily wrong … unless you are trying to throw it all up after .. if you’re body needs the nutrition and you haven’t eaten much through the day then binge eating is okay.. i have adhd and tend to forget to eat .. yes that’s one of the messed up things from this mental disability but if i have forgotten to eat and i finally remember i’m going to binge eat because my body needs the vitamins / etc
@@zayraroa I have ADHD as well. Binging isn't good for you regardless. I understand what you're saying and that it's at least getting nutrients to you - but it does damage the body and cause long-term effects. Eating until you're full or almost full, even if you only had one meal, is better for the body than binging at night. Binging stretches your stomach (the organ) and causes and exacerbates more medical problems like acid reflux disease/GERD. Have you tried setting alarms to eat ealier in the day? I have 6 alarms to eat set because with ADHD, taking a lot of meds, and low blood sugar, I need to at least have a snack every couple of hours. Do you carry snacks with you when away from home?
(Genuinely worried - not trying to judge🖤)
To everyone without an ed, please understand, we hate this, don't tell us what to do, the best thing you can do is to stand by us and ask us what we need, support us, don't put us down
Thank you so much for this comment. I do not like to give insincere advice, nor do I want to send anyone to a psychiatrist.
Very helpful.
She's not putting us down. She's giving everyone a wake up call. You need help, not to ask anyone what you need because your perception of what you need is so distorted from that ED voice. It's not your fault but it is a problem and it needs to be stopped. Please get help sweetheart, don't suffer anymore :( 💜
@@idlybye5002 Your insight into my experience from reading my reply is so accurate. You seem to know that I had a horrible experience with a bad psychiatrist. And that is why I cannot seek help from one.
Good call...
@@idlybye5002 You didn't overstep! It is comforting to know that someone empathizes and even has practical ideas. Ideas that can open doors that are locked shut.
So I thank you.
@@idlybye5002 I was referring to people who haven't struggled with eating disorders
My mother died from years of anorexia. She did not have bulimia. She was misdiagnosed for decades. I watched it my whole life till she died. I was 17 and I really needed my mother. But when I got the news my reaction was that I was so glad she didn't have to suffer any more.
Sorry for the loss of ypur mother
Also sorry for the pain you both endured from your Mom suffering and you having to watch her suffer.
My mother died from anorexia when I was 11 she was diagnosed when I was around 7 years old, she wouldn’t binge she just didn’t eat! If someone forced her to eat she would purge I grew up watching her slowly kill herself 💔
Sorry for the loss of your mom❤❤❤❤
I'm so sorry to hear this, it really breaks my heart.
@@christinesaltmarsh782 Thank you.
I have been suffering from bulimia everyday for the past ten years. I watched this video 7 days ago and for the first time in ten years I have had 7 days of freedom from the binge and purge cycle. As the fog clears I'm realizing that I just might really like the girl that's under the eating disorder. Thank you for giving me the reason ♡
Jessica Brantley hey girl, hope you are still doing well and were able to break the cycle ❤️
@@katherinepatrick1582 thank you for your comment! I've had a few slip ups here and there and it's been hard as heck but I am still in and sticking with my Recovery ♡
Jessica Brantley you’re welcome! Glad to here you are still sticking with it 😁
@@jessicabond9729 good luck queen, you're doing great!! :)
Please keep up the good work!!!!
I’m 14, and recently, I’ve started behaving in the beginning stages of an eating disorder, restricting, counting calories, etc. and I want to thank you, because this video is making me see what I’m really doing, and want to change while I still can. People on tiktok are glamorizing EDs, and it’s so sick. People like you are making everyone realize how truly dark and horrible EDs are, and helpings so many people. Thank you. ❤️
@@sugarfree6959 not completely, but I’m improving! It’s really hard to stop counting calories since it’s something I have become mentally accustomed to, but I don’t restrict like I used to, and pretty much eat whenever I’m hungry.
@@guesswho5314 im proud of you!!
exactly the same
how are you doing? 🥺
we are in the exact same boat word for word and I hope we can both recover 💕
Tomorrow I'm going to tell my treatment team the truth about me purging. I don't want to live like this anymore. Thank you for this video
LifeOfDanni please tell
LifeOfDanni that's awesome! Good luck I'm praying for you😚 your so strong and beautiful and I know you can beat this❤️❤️
LifeOfDanni this is six days later, any updates?
stay strong!! so proud of you
pleaselet is know how you're doing, stay strong don't give in to bulimia xxxx
This scared the hell out of me.. but I needed it. I’m scared of what my ED will do to me. I will try my best to overcome this.
Thank you.
I truly hope you are able to overcome this snd I’m so sorry you’re dealing with it.
There is so much love and support behind you groggymonster!
You got this!!🤗🤗🤗
Best of luck for you. Its challenging but you can do it.
ok
This video is saving lives
Fancy Vlogs By Gab ❤️❤️❤️
Fancy Vlogs By Gab This video saved me
I love u gabby and I struggle with anorexia and my mom thinks I throw up in the bathroom cause I spend a lot of time in there and I don’t but I feel she doesn’t believe me and I just feel alone and sad and don’t like school anymore and not much anything anymore I don’t really see the point
@@ritaholdorff601 then show your mum this video
well done!
I’ve been bulimic for almost 3 years, this is really motivating me to stop. Thank you
i really hope you do get the help you need to stop
@@alexrojas9013 thank you, I hope it’s a sign
Are u alright darling? How have you been lately? Just to remember that you are capable of everything, I wish you are doing fine, drink water and let your body be free
How is your recovery journey going? Wishing you all the best!
@UC5PhaP1-oMnf0omnrfY1xTA it’s not that simple. Shut the fuck up.
I think I’m done binging
I'm proud of you ♡
Becc Spitler :)
You go girl! Live your life to the fullest
Yaaaaaay
Regan Ross Same, it’s not easy to kick these habits. I binged and purged last night when I said I would try not to for the whole week. I know I can die at any second but just can’t stop, it’s fucking awful. We’re in such a bad position, hopefully one day we can kick this
man, guys
I'm on your side
I've never had an eating disorder but my heart goes out for you guys
it's very rare to see a person who's never had ED and who can truly understand (or try to understand at least) and not to devalue our feelings like "you're just pretending", "why you can't just eat normally","you just don't have a willpower to eat healthy " or smth like that. i don't know you but i already appreciate and respect you! wish you a happy life
I haven't either, but I have a friend who had one and it really leaves you feeling helpless. Thankfully she is doing much better. She has gained 20 pounds and looks so much better.
dead beat I have anorexia
Kanashii Sora it is not “Very rare” lmao, it’s probably just common with the people you’re accustomed with to think in that way.
thank you
When I started watching, I was expecting a photo of a really skinny girl or something simmilar, and I kind of wanted to test myself... but the moment I saw it, I was shocked. When you explained what happenned to her, I couldn't stop crying. I'm still not sure if it was a good idea to watch this video
Júlia Józsa
That was exactly what I was expecting too, and I was also expecting not to be shocked, but I, like you, was shocked.
3337
The body bloats after death and with her stomach ruptured combined with all that internal bleeding, well, there is your answer. Jobulást és minden jót.
@@michaeljames4904 yea but she clearly wasnt skinny.... arms, legs... having an eating disorder doesnt mean youre stick thin or morbidly obese
Rywokast Given the phenomenon of lividity, in which blood pools under gravity distending limbs in such a position post-mortem, without a living heart to maintain circulation, there is nothing obvious at all about the conclusions you seek to draw from the distressing picture.
Actually I saw that image when I was dealing with my ED. And yeah… I was shocked and it impacted me to the core. ED free for 10 years now :)
Congratulations! You are so strong and beautiful ❤️
@@SofieRivian thank you, dear!
Amazing I’m so proud of you and happy ❤️
Congrats hon.
Congratulations!
Ttust me, boys also do go through this
Thank you -_- I saw nothing wrong with the video until she said "girls" I hate when people exclude boys from mental illnesses or disorders that just means them feel worst because most people stereotype men like this insensitive people that could never be sad.
Abby 531 I think she didn’t mean like that but ur right
I've suffered with it for 5 years (I've since recovered) and I hate that people always act like us men don't and can't deal with horrible, horrible mental disorders.
@@lyleskinner1914 yeah man i feel you. Men are often thought of tough,strong,alpha and all that bs. And thats why people cant fathom mental health issues with men. Which makes things way more horrid.
@@lyleskinner1914 im glad you recovered and it makes me sad since i feel like it would be harder for men to get help since most support groups are advertised for women, like its a "girly disorder" or something, i swear when covid is over and i go back to school ill bring awarness for men's mental health in there, they litterally have a support group in there for woman but not for men and I- aaahhh im so mad anyways rant over and hope you all stay safe :)
I saw this video a year ago today. Haven’t purged since. Thank you!
That’s amazing proud of you !
That’s wonderful!
👍👍👍
Proud of you. God bless you and I hope you continue to stay healthy ❤️❤️
Oh Mia. I don't have anorexia or bulimia, but I binge. sometimes so much that it hurts and I feel sick. I never thought that it was dangerous to binge. I just thought it was disgusting and makes you a terrible person because you have no self control. I'm terrified after seeing this. You're so passionate about wanting to help people. Thank you.
Jessie Irvine It's also dangerous because it might graduate into purging. I started out binge eating for years before I began purging. I didn't feel I was "sick enough" then to get help. But some of the most miserable periods of my life have been when I was bingeing. You deserve help xx
Jessie Irvine yea shocked me too. I will admit I've recently thought about purging. I've binged always but never purged.
esperanza rodriguez You should know that purging doesn't work - you still absorb the majority of the calories and the binges tend to increase in size. So the likelihood is you'll end up absorbing more than you did when just bingeing. It's also painful, exhausting and leaves you feeling even more ashamed. Your problem as it is is valid.
Louisyed thanks for the information. I feel down know that purging has nothing good come from it. I need to learn to stop binging though. I appreciate your comment
Jessie Irvine Oh darling no, it doesn't make you disgusting at all and there's nothing terrible about not being able to stop eating
I'm a 21 year-old man and have been bingeing daily for at least a month now. I never thought I'd go from being healthy and fit to miserable and bloated. I binge on anything I find tasty, not necessarily desserts. I don't purge but I still feel horrible after binges. Thank you for making this video. Sometimes the brutal truth is the only way to get someone to change.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I hope you are doing better these days 💜
i hope you recover and stay safe! best of luck.
How are you doing these days, Chris? Hope you are okay.
@@Julia-b9x Hi Julia. Yes, fortunately I was able to limit my portion sizes, but only after filling up my day with more activities so I don’t get bored.Thank you for asking.
I don’t want to die with my head in the toilet, covered by vomit and food.
Bouh isn’t it crazy that alot of people are afraid to die this way YET living like this for many years?
@@zicoelsamo6921 you really don't see it when your experiencing it. people with anorexia have a voice in their head that tells them that they'd rather die than not purge. it tells them that they'd rather die than eat a slice of cake. its messed up but we rarely can't control it. it would be so much easier if I could eat whatever what whenever I craved it or whenever I was hungry.
Kokili Kpop i genuinely feel like my life is going to end and i’m going to die LMFAO it’s so pathetic but it’s different for everyone
@@user-tatibaby Purging isn't apart of Anorexia so no, you're talking about Bulimia.
Hmmm... have any of you heard of Avalon Hills RTC?
I have binge eating disorder without the purging, and I never considered how dangerous it could be for my stomach. Massive wake up call
Same here!
Me too!!!
@@deo3367 Same here! This scared the hell out of me.
ermm i mean your stomach is used to it, hers wasnt because she was starving herself for so long then consumed so much food so her stomach stretched greatly which was not normal for her.
@@kimora69 either way. It still helped them which is good :)
It's not the picture that bothered me or the autopsy report, it's the persons suffering that lead to this is what is depressing.
I think how she must have suffered as she died, and how her family must have suffered. But like you said, it was the culmination of years of suffering for her and her family.
No one wants this. My heart goes out them, and to all the people who are going through it now.
Brutal torture
This is it. I’ll make no more excuses anymore. I will stop my disordered habits and replace them with positive habits. I’ll ditch the all or nothing mentally.
I wish you a smooth recovery, quitting can be painful but I promise the other side is worth it. Be kind to yourself when you slip up and take what victory you can ❤
you absolutely can do this ... please.... you're worth it please let us know how you're doing! it's been 3 weeks since you said this... what steps have you taken to get help? you have our support!! ❤❤❤❤
good luck!!
Hope you are doing well on your journey ❤
You are worth more than your ED. You deserve to be healthy and happy. I hope your recovery is going well.
i'm here after a binge and i'm so so scared rn i wish i could stop with this sickness i just want a normal relationship with my food intake
to everyone who is reading now and continues to respond to this comment: I wish the best for each of you. fortunately, i have improved and nowadays (9 months after) i can say that i am free from this damn cycle. all i did was listen to my body, respect it and nourish it the way it deserves. of course it was not easy, nor did i get to where i am instantly. what i mean is that there is a solution to this even if you think theres not. you can recovery. i did it myself, but please don't hesitate to ask for professional help if necessary. i’ll be here for more conversations if you want.
mirleide Same, and I can’t stop it IDK what should I do
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
hey,if you need anyone to talk to im here if you want! (also im an army too if that helps ease you into it sksksk)
the same applies for anyone reading this,if you wanna talk im here
@@mery5395
oh :( I hope you get over this horrible cycle!
@@_mrld we can talk through discord! @oop#5048 (psst,dont thank me,you deserve it
One of the biggest breakthrough moments of my life is when I learned that binge eating (with out vomiting) was an eating disorder. I will always want to binge and I fight the urge every day.
Stay strong love 💜
I hope you’re doing well, I have that issue as well and I hate it.
@@fresia7878 some illnesses/medications can make you hungry all the time too. I was diagnosed by a therapist with binge eating/B.E.D. It's not hard to know without being diagnosed in some cases. Keep your head. I would recommend you see a Dr for underlined causes or a therapist if there is not a medical cause. Good luck xx
@@fresia7878 I am pretty good at identifying my binges because I can remember my first binge vividly. I was overweight my entire life but I wasn't anywhere near obese. That is until my first year of high-school when I moved to a new school where I didn't know anyone and to make matters worse I developed very severe social anxiety to the point that I almost dropped out of school because of it. I remember sitting at home one night and thinking about my next day of school and suddenly I felt a dread that I've never felt before. I didn't know what to do or how to stop it and I was so distressed that I opened the fridge and I devoured everything I found to the point that I was uncomfortably full. Now,I am a person that always ate a lot but the difference is that 1) my binges are usually motivated by negative feelings and are usually a coping mechanism for stress 2) I feel completely out of control while binging like even if I feel like my stomach is about to explode I have to finish whatever I'm eating and sometimes I eat even more, it's a compulsion 3) I don't have cravings for specific foods and neither am I hungry most of the time but I still feel the need to devour everything and I will eat like literally anything, even plain butter ( I know gross) 4) during the binge I eat so fast that I can't even taste the food,I just shove it down my throat and I eat massive amounts of food and while I eat I'm totally out of it, it feels almost like I'm possessed by something, I zone out,kinda like a drug addict and 5) I feel horrible after the binge, both physically (obviously) and mentally,I feel very guilty but I don't purge. Oh and I usually binge at night because I am ashamed of how much I eat. I would say that the difference between binge eating disorder and someone who simply likes food and overeats is like the difference between a person who enjoys alcohol and an alcoholic. Someone who enjoys alcohol does drink more than the average person and they might overdo it when they are with friends or at a party per say but they are not dependent on it. An alcoholic constantly uses alcohol to self meditate and usually drinks a lot alone and he can't stop drinking. That's how I see it. In my mind its a compulsion to eat massive amounts of food and it's usually triggered by negative emotions. I hope this helped and sorry for the rant.
@@fresia7878
To know how much is too much you need to count calories and be honest with yourself over how much you eat and how much you workout. You can do this!
This was powerful. That poor girl, I can't even imagine the pain she must have been in, dying alone in such a horrible way.
I can't even imagine the mental agony and despair she must have been in in the last hours of her life. Such a horrible disease.
RIP
I think someone is watching over me. I have 30 minutes until a doctors appointment to get eating disorder treatment and this video popped up in my feed, i did not search for it. You may have just saved my life. Thank you
Angie Cox yayy
That poor girl...such a terrifying and painful way to die. Breaks my heart for her, and her family.
thank you. This has stopped me from binging and purging today. I’ll watch it every day if I have to.
There is so much more life can offer. I wish it is all soon behind you, so you don't need to watch it as much any more ❤❤
How are you these days?
I love how everyone is trying to speak out and spread awareness. I was bulimic and anorexic for a yr and my parents didn’t care until my relatives saw how skinny I was. My grandma scolded my parents about my condition and it upset me knowing the fact that my parents got blamed at from my own problem. I stopped the binging and purging progress when my mom started physically hitting me and dragging me around of the house and beating me because she was pissed of me for making her friends see me, a sick person. Her friends kept on talking behind her back calling her names and my mom is beating me for it. I can’t say this method works because I still end up relapsing in some days, but please spread awareness. Skinny is not beautiful, it’s deadly.
Your parents are absolute monsters. im so sorry
My family caused mine by starving me/neglecting me, so I had to get by on whatever I could find, I recently cut them out of my life and relapsed the worst I have ever relapsed. My husband is scared and so am I but we’ve dealt with it before so now we’re trying to get it under control. My family beat me because I stopped singing in the church choir after my boyfriend died because I was grieving. “Parents” like this don’t deserve children. I’m sorry you had this experience. I don’t wish it on anyone.
You're so strong my baby!
I pray you're in a better place now 💖
You have had and still face what is abuse, no way around it. It's no wonder you have turned to the control of your life that is yours, yours alone, ED. I don't know how old you are. I wish I had solutions along with my observation but I don't. If anyone has some solutions for you here I hope you get help. If there is anyway to remove yourself from living with your Mom you very well may be released from the grip of ED, imo. I will pray for you, I hope you find strength to stop and receive the love and support you so richly deserve. From one ED sufferer to another.
It’s when you’re reading the comments that you realize that so many people suffer from ED... as I am part of that too, I wish you all to be able to recover from that. We’re all together in this guys. God bless you
Im starting to recover 🌻
I want to recover from anorexia but i always say "maybe tomorrow" " i'm scared" "next week". i want to live until, 80 i want to have kids, i want to be healthy, i want to enjoy food, but i can't. I need this. Do you have any tips?
@@Ilovehamburger005 honestly you have to really want it. Ana is lying to your face.no it doesnt feel better to starve than to feel full. You will eat and feel guilty a lot for the first few weeks and Itll feel like hell. But it WILL be worth it. Picture your life, do you really want to live like this forever? Do you really want to be obsessed with FOOD out of all things for the rest of your life? It is never too late to change that. If you wanna keep in touch my insta is @ariettx ❤
yOuRoNFiReBrO thanks ill try my best and i will follow you
You got this!
How r u doing?💕🙏
Thank you for this.
Edit: I've watched this everyday since youve posted it and EVERY time it gets better. More powerful. I have never wanted to stop binging and purging more than I do after this video. Mia, I'm going to do this. I am going to recover. I will be a success story.
I really hope this video goes viral because its message is so powerful. You are so strong and I am so grateful for you.
Recovery Flower... I'm glad you saw this 😌
I was just thinking of you and that I hope you saw this. my heart dropped imagining that this was you.
your channel has helped me so much! you mia and and shanny are amazing
Recovery Flower Hi I want to virtually sent you all the strenght you need.
When I read your comment I thought of this poem (Im not religious but didnt want to change the original and maybe you are).
Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
You are going to recover love, YOU ARE.
the day after i watched this video i started recovery for anorexia. thank you for saving my life.
I'm glad you got better 💝
Thank you for making this video
❤️❤️
I was starting to restrict my food and calories, I lost 13 lbs my mom told me I was fat, i wanted to lose more but now I just want to be healthy.
BE HEALTHY GIRL.
Girl same, ed suck, my mom basically called me a stupid c when I told het about my ed
@VICC acc🌻 In English 🌻
I am telling you that you are NOT Ugly or Fat.
Only you can really tell yourself that.
I don't know You but I do know that anytime we go around trying to telling others about themselves ..we are off track. and usually talking about ourselves in some twisted way.
Your mom should be telling you about the things that are beautiful in you.
Thats what you deserve to hear. We all do.
I'm sorry that she is not.
Thats her job.
I assure you....those words have much more to do with her self worth than what she thinks of you.
Best recipe for moms being innappropriate with daughters,
is to Be Healthy .
Great Choice.
💛🌷💛
@@nguyenquynhtrang5556 I'm sorry that You also were treated inappropriately by your mom... Her job is to pump you up not pull you down. Speaks volumes about her own self worth. I'm sorry. You deserve better.
Be healthy ..You deserve it.
🌲🧘🏻♀️💗
@VICC acc different dads?
My f"ckin god, girl... This exact picture literally STOPPED my bulimia 2 years ago right after I found it.
So pleased it's now behind you!
I'm still stuck on it ...
@@princealice5367 you can recover, I promise you
This video is what motivated me to finally seek help. I am 5 months in recovery from bulimia :)
Bless you. Hope you are doing OK now.
Wahoo!!
That is fantastic! Recovery is hard. I hope you still see that you are worth so much more than your ED. You deserve health and joy.
@@avivacrichton6922 2 years in recovery. It's been hard but worth it. Haven't binged & purged in two whole years. This video helped save my life. Thank you
I used to not understand ED at all. I'm horrid that teen me would roll her eyes at the subject and say bullshit like "I wish I had that willpower". It's so destructive, it's terrifying. I'm scared for the people with disordered eating I know. The way your brain can just utterly tear you to shreds is true horror.
When I was a child, I did not understand this issue a lot. I had sympathy for the people that suffered Anorexia and Bullimia. But once you grow up, you begin to understand the severity of it and how scary our brains can become when a person develops those conditions, specially when although you don't have the same condition, you can relate with the others about having obssesive behaviors or feelings of shame over your body. I hope everybody can recover from this agonizing illness.
I didn't understand at all until I started purging
I can’t even Handel my thoughts some days my Ed has caused me to have insomnia, raynauds, iron deficiency and more 😓
I didn’t and still can’t to a large degree. As someone who had to fight to live, claw, swing and bite. Not just for me but my mom and little sister. I’ve only valued strength, still do. What these people do doesn’t give strength, just self hate and weakness. So things like this and wanting to be pretty just don’t click to me.
Trauma and illness. Your brain is YOU. You do not obviously want to kill yourself.
These thoughts comes from the OUTSIDE
This is why LOVING yourself is the cure!
I had no words. I remember crying while eating, and then purging in the shower, or in my bedroom in a bag. One day, i was home alone, and I purge. The vomit came to my nose and I couldn't breath for 5 seconds. I know it sounds a little bit crazy but... I feel I was going to die, alone. And the fact here is thay my low steem was so bad that... I think I deserved...
Im okay now, I finished that horrible circle, I was afraid of my parents when they found out..But I was more afraid of the way I was slowly killing myself. Your video is incredible, its eye-opening. Nobody, NOBODY deserves waking up without knowing if he/she will end the day alive. Thank you, you are beautiful, have a nice day❤
Lovely Aurora83 I’m so proud of you for ending with this. You are Amazing ❤️🙏🏼
How is it going? You doing great? Stay strong and never give up ❤️
We all wake up not knowing if we will make it to bedtime. You know...natural stuff- murder, accidents. But my assisting the grim reaper is what shames me.
You're incredibly strong, keep your head up ❤️
Sending love❤❤❤❤
I'm getting through phase 1, the one when you start doing more excercise, skipping breakfast somedays, quiting dinner, quiting junk food, eating less, trying to stay stand moving, doing chores, walking to everywhere and checking on yourself in the mirror everytime you finish a meal so you can get sure you didnt get fat. I havent see the video yet, but I really hope it makes me stop, before this gets any far, because this is already driving me insane.
I'm sorry about my writting, english is not my first language.
hey, i know its only the first 'stage' but its still very dangerous. i cant say much but it is still deadly especially if it gets worse but just because you're not at the worst that other people have been at doesn't mean you dont deserve help. i remember telling myself i wasnt sick enough. Please get help before it gets any worse my love
How are you doing, Gisselle? I hope you are doing better and/or you have reached out for help. Either way, I am here if you want to talk.
I really hope you’re better now I wish you luck and good health mentally and physically
I wish I could say something wise and informative, but I feel a bit numb after watching this video.
I watched it twice (crying both times)..
... I feel only a great love for you, and send prayers that you can do what is best for your body and soul , getting better every day, one day at a time....
With much love
A sister from Ireland,
P ♥️
Actually, your English is really good! ❤️
This photo did it for me about 10 years ago.
I still purged after seeing it (as I wasn’t cured over night) but every time I did it, I saw that photo. I’ve been recovered for about 8 years. Still, whenever I get full and start to feel like I’m mindlessly binging, she pops up in my head 😕
I think I saw this photo almost 20 years ago. It definitely changed me and made me think twice about my actions.
Wow😮 amazing
When you started talking about the emotions and how you could feel what she felt...I had to stop watching. It became all to real. This is such a needed video.
ok
All I can think about is how scared and alone she must have felt in those moments leading up to her death. I clicked on this video not expecting to be moved or shocked that much. Boy was I wrong. That image and its gruesome context is well and truly burned into my mind forever now. I never knew her, but I'll never forget her. RIP.
If you're impatient the photo appears at 4:26 . You should listen to what she has to say but just in case there you go
If you wish to skip the photo, go to 5.15.
What dose it look like? I’m kinda scared lil
i didnt really understand what was happening in the picture, can anyone explain
@@freezing5 thank you, I wanted to hear the story but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the photo.
@@mirah9550 listen to what she says after please and you'll understand
I don't have an eating disorder, but wow...this showed up in my feed. Good for you sharing this. You have saved lives.
Picture is at 4:26
Saya N you're a saint
Saya N yay
Thanks
I thought she was gunna show 2 pics
Saya N thanks
I realized last night that I have an eating disorder. It happened in a flash of second. From the past few months all I've been doing is finding ways to starve my body so I can look at myself in the mirror again. I've tried fasting, stupid diets but nothing works because I end up binging as soon as I end my fast. Last night I binged after fasting for 5 days. I didn't think how bad that would affect me till I couldn't breathe. My stomach hurt and I couldn't breathe. So I purged. And quickly opened TH-cam to search for a new way to starve myself till a short movie about eating disorder was recommended by TH-cam. So I watched it. And it hit me. But I ignored it and continued looking for ways. This morning I woke up to this video in my recommendation and I hesitated to watch it at first. But I thank God I did. I'm going to respect my body and the life that is given to me. I'm done.
I don't know if I've ever cried this hard. Thank you for making this, you've quite possibly, and I mean this with no exaggeration, just saved my life.
You really made me face the fact that if I continue this, I will be dead at my own hands, and my loved ones could find me like this, just like her, organs ruptured, on the floor. May the powers that be bless you for what you've done for others by sharing this. Today is the day I change.
Years ago, when my binging was really bad, I would sometimes eat so much food it was difficult to breathe. Once I was lying on my back crying, I couldn't breathe in cause my stomach was so stretched it was painful and I was thinking: 'God, it feels like my stomach is ripping'. I was afraid but I wasn't sure it was an actual possibility!!! And I didn't know that expanding the stomach could kill the tissue. I'm shocked and in tears right now. I don't want to binge ever again. I will definitely keep this story in mind when I measure my portions.
How are you doing now?
You should give a TED talk.,This is a fantastic video ! Thank you so much for sharing your story and the sad story of that poor young lady.
Watching this video made me force myself to go downstairs and eat a spoonful of peanut butter. I feel extremly guilty after, but this is for the best.
Omg u know bout subliminals
Yess! That's good that you realized it's for the best! I hope all the best for you❤❤
wilted_subliminals you’ve got this, love. keep fighting. ❤️
wilted_subliminals hope you’re doing well, love! We don’t know each other but I’m here if you ever need to talk💗
Peanut butter is fucking crack! I can never get enough of it!
"Let's get really comfortable with being uncomfortable"
this scared the shit out of me
to the girls and boys going through EDs, stay strong. whether you have been clean for 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 week, 1 month, or 1 year. congratulations, that’s incredible. i personally do not deal with an eating disorder, but it’s incredibly saddening the amount of people who have to deal with this. please, please, please, know that people are always here to help.
Ranbamboo
Also, thank you for spreading this
just say people, oh my god
@@dlmhdlmd it's not that serious they can just say that
@@hannahtfdthbkktffrd it is that serious, it’s literally excluding the existence of a huge amount of people
@@dlmhdlmd I'm hoping they didn't mean that.
Good on ya for making this and having the courage to show that image..... And bless that poor girls family for doing something that just may save a life or two. I have never had an ED but I really appreciate the education you are providing.
So glad that you're here willing to listen and be educated on the subject!
What Mia Did Next, it's wonderful of you to be dedicated to helping others struggling like you did! I'm so glad you're better now. Keep up the good work.
There was this girl i went to school with who was significantly skinnier than me (lets call her K) and one day after lunch i went to my locker and got a cheese stick because i didnt have enough time to finish my food and was a little hungry.
I was already embarrassed that i was eating right after lunch and K said something like "We got a foodie over here!" Kinda loud (then again the building was small and it didnt take that much to be loud).
My face turned red and i asked her "Can you please not" trying to be my badass persona, when she left i ran to the bathroom and tried to throw it back up (luckily i couldn't) and i sat there for a minute crying.
I didn't eat at school for a solid 3-5 weeks after that
Awwww 😓😔😭 I'm sooo sorry for u, just remember Ur amazing, every single human being is unique and the world would be a worse place without any one of us 💔💛
Btw sry I'm not that good about talking bout stuff but just want u to know that u an amazing unique individual
@@greenbudgieplays8092 wtf, why would you say something like that?
i'm quite proud i'm a foodie
Love, I'm so sorry someone said that to you 💙💙💙💙 if only hurt people didnt turn around just to hurt more people. I pray you know your worth and no one ever says something like that to you again 💙💙💙💙
@@greenbudgieplays8092 did your parents drop you as a child?
THANK YOU for posting this. At 13 my friend, Ellie, showed me how she keeps her weight from going up further by binging and purging. Lucky for me, I could not stand vomiting, instead I chose exercise and eating healthy. While Ellie continued and eventually died due to heart failure. I wish we would have known then what we know now.
I personally have spoken with you over social media and you are singlehandedly been the most beneficial and inspiring people i've ever had the privilege and absolutely honor to view and speak to. you're truly doing the most amazing thing and using a platform like youtube to spread a positive and real message. You give a voice I wish I had for years and for that I thank you endlessly.
You are so, so welcome Tashi. Much love to you.
Oh my god I remember this website. I never came across that post though.
I was in denial in the same way you were. I always justified my b/p because I was on the chubbier side and I told myself eds are only serious if you're too skinny (I know that's bullshit but that's what I told myself). Unfortunately I had severe depression and was suicidal for a long time, so I actually started hoping it would kill me. I'm starting to cry thinking about that. I was actually that miserable I hope what happened to that girl would happen to me because I was in so much emotional pain. I'm still not sure how I made it out of that alive, but I did and I am so grateful for that.
Thank you for this video. My heart feels so heavy for that girl and her family. It brings tears to my eyes to know that I could've missed out on being as happy as I am now because that could have been me.
I am SO grateful for that website, I should really write to whoever is running it to say thank you. Might have taken a while but it definitely contributed and still contributes to my recovery. I am so glad that you are still here Georgia, and that you are HERE and HAPPY!
Georgia I remember this website also. Since I saw that picture, it's always in the back of my head and it's now a few years ago.
oh and I had the same thoughts you had
Georgia I've been in the same position and I've always felt my ED is not serious enough because I'm overweight. I stopped caring what my ED did to my health because I didn't want to be here anyway. Those memories are awful. I'm finally getting support and I'm not suicidal anymore, but it still feels a long way to go. Well done for persevering xx
ShockheadedFranzy I'm sorry you had those thoughts too. It's a pretty miserable way to feel.
It's always been glamorised that you die from heart failure or an arrithmyia. I've never heard of ruptured stomach but that's so scary and makes so much sense. The damage we've done to ourselves is overwhelming. The gas. The pain. The heartburn. I'm so glad I got help when I did. I hope people gain something from this! I was never underweight that's why it baffled so many people that I battles bulimia for nearly 5 years xx
Diane Piddock as someone who has arrythmias... its not glamourus. its terrifying, can be painful, and i imagine a horrible way to die.
Diane Piddock glamorized heart failure? 😢 honey, I stopped purging about 10 years ago, and I’ve had two open heart surgeries since. Heart failure is a sad, sad life. I am always weak and my highest weight ever, and if I weren’t a mom with a wonderful son, I would give up. I understand what you are thinking, though, I’ve been there. Honestly though, I’d choose a ruptured stomach over heart failure.
One death isn’t more glamorous than another nitwit.
First: I have the same bed. Second: since seeing that photo and hearing you discuss what she went through as she died.... Zero bingeing. Thank you for postng this. I don't want to die from food. I'm now eating like a reasonable human being and healing myself with the thing I used to poison myself with. And getting on with my life and my dreams.
I have the same bed lol
I'm trying really hard to beat bulimia, wish me luck
kayla gutierrez If you want to, I believe you can and will! 👏👏👏
kayla gutierrez I believe in you 💗
kayla gutierrez I recovered bulimia after 4,5 years - from I was 17 to 21-22ish. I'm now 28.
Keep on fighting, it is hard - it is worth it, you will feel so free! I
kayla gutierrez good luck 💙
Good luck, babe💜💜💜
Man, I wish I had seen that photo years ago... maybe it would've woken me up... how am I even alive?! I battled for almost 20 years. Thank you for showing that photo. It's graphic and disturbing but real. I'm in near hysterics after seeing it. Feeling upset and sad and guilty and yet lucky to be alive... I want more people to see what can happen. I don't want anyone dying that way. I don't want anyone else to go through this.This is yet again, an incredibly important point being made. Thank you for having the guts to stand up and talk about these things. I need this channel! Thank you.
decayedcake are you serious. Please use google for once in your life.
decayedcake did you google if it's possible to rupture a stomach? And I didn't know working as an IT repair agent was a wasted brain 💁🏻
The trolls always end up finding these videos. Don't worry about them too much; if they want to leave a comment demonstrating their idiocy, that's their prerogative.
decayedcake The stomach is a muscular organ, your other organs are also partially made of smooth muscle but that has nothing to do with whether or not it can rupture. Your stomach absolutely can rupture and the medical term for this is gastrointestinal perforation. I don't think doing a google search implies a wasted mind, but it definitely prevents you from sounding like an idiot on the internet.
decayedcake I don't have an eating disorder, but my stomach almost ruptured from another illness and surgeons had to remove part of it, so yes it most definitely can rupture.
Thank you sooo much for sharing this. I too was under the impression that bulimia was more safe than anorexia and therefore I didn't need to be concerned. IT IS NOT TRUE and there needs to be more education that explains this. Thank you for adding that content to the world. I pray that this prevents someone from going down this road.
Ryann Williams Yes, and I only wish the medical professionals would take it as seriously
I just turned 70 years old. I have 5 people I know that have dealt with this. Different outcomes.
1) My cousin. Always battling with her weight. She is 3 years older than I. So, when she was in high school , I believe, she confessed to me that she decided she’d “purge” after eating to use that to control the amount she ate. It just seemed a logical way to be able to eat h things you loved/wanted, without the discipline & no having to deal with the consequences (of gaining weight). BUT why she told me was I believe she needed to tell someone this fact, & I never forgot it. She got to the point where she couldn’t control the vomit mechanism & that scared her very much. After eating, her body would go right into wanting to vomit. The fear of lost control wasn’t something she expected.
I’m happy to say, she somehow stopped, got married & had children & is a grandmother today.
2) In high school was a very nice sweet girl named Debbie Washburn. Freshman year (age 14-15) she was normal. But by 16 she was a walking skeleton. Literally. With the whole bobble head! We wore wool uniform skirts for school, so you wouldn’t notice. But in the summer, she babysat these children at my swim club. She’d wear a 2-piece/bikini bathing suit. She was blind but no tan. Pure white! And she was absolutely a skeleton. Because of no nutrients, her bruises wouldn’t heal or scabs would be on her legs. She would walk around the pool & you couldn’t help stare. She looked GASTLY!!! Awful! Scary. No one had ever heard of anorexia before. This is like 1968.
I felt so sorry for her because of all the staring. But I now understand, SHE LOVED IT! She believed that people marveled at how thin she was. No! We were looking at a Nazi concentration camp victim! And it certainly wasn’t pretty!
In 1970 she ended up in the hospital. My oldest friend went to visit her twice. She would have panic attacks about getting fat. She believed she was fat! She couldn’t see it. I was in Europe when my parents wrote me that she had died. At 17 years old. It just devastated her family. They dedicated this garden at my high school in her name. I just sobbed.
3) Another high school classmate. She seemed fine in high school She did go to college. May even have graduated. But soon after, she died of anorexia! I couldn’t believe it because she knew Debbie Washburn & what happened to her! She was only in her early 20’s! Such a waste!!
4) My cousin, a year older than me. She was adopted, so not sure how that played into her self esteem. But YEARS of anorexia & then bulimia. Then drugs & alcohol. Many trips to rehab but only to learn more tricks.
She never married. No children. Lived in a trailer. Had crazy boyfriends. Maybe even abusive ones. Died alone. Never found for days until some friend, a guy maybe a “boyfriend”. No one knows how long she had been dead. The guy found her brother’s phone number & told him. It could have been a month that she had died! Ended up being buried in a mass grave with strangers who had no money. She was in her late 60’s. Awful.
5) A girlfriend. I was living in an apartment building & leaving as she & her parents were helping her move in. I could tell she was around my age. This is now 1980’s & I’m 30-ish. She was wearing sweats - sweat pants & a sweatshirt. But I knew “that look”. The skinny neck & bobble head. A year-ish late, I decided to initiate a conversation & we came friends along with my other friend who also lived in the building. The 3 Amigos!
She battled terribly, horribly with it all! Starving, then purging. It ruined all her teeth. The acid when you purge destroys your teeth. She was dating a dentist, so he put in all this lead. (Porcelain hadn’t been “invented” then for teeth.) She lost her period for years.
To be very honest, I asked her if she wanted to give her life to Jesus & ask Him into her heart. She did. And her life started to change. It was instantaneous but little by little. First thing was her period was restored! Then, after being a vegetarian, she realized it was just another control mechanism. She was set free of that. She got married, had a child. She was trying for a second child but he doctors said (even though she already had a child without doing this) that the mercury from all the lead in her teeth was restricting her from getting pregnant again. She gets it all taken out. But now years later, she had to replace most of her mouth/teeth that cost her $35,000!!!
Better that than death!! But she sure is a success story! Praise Jesus!
Please get all the help you can. It’s an evil spirit that speaks lies to you! Or it’s a deeper lie you are believing. All lies!!! And only death. You don’t become more attractive. It’s the opposite! And then all your time is spent on THAT. No room for boyfriends. Or just friends! DON’T DIE ALONE!! Just like that photo. Ask God to help you AND HE WILL!!! And tell those lying demons to shut up!! And loudly, too! Say: “In Jesus’ Name, LEAVE ME!” They HATE the name of Jesus because He has the power to cast them out. They don’t want to leave you. But they must, especially when you say that name! The Bible says: “Resist the devil & he will flee!”
Blessings on this channel & blessings on a you who slogged through all my stories. May certain ones scare you to stop & others that encourage you that you will live & thrive!! Get yourself better dreams!
God I remember when my tongue became white and i couldn't eat because of it , and I remember drinking 2.5 liter coke bottle just to throw up hard and get all the food out , god I can't believe how toxic my mind was , bulimia is horrible and its really isn't worth it .now im overweight but you know what ? Im so fucking happy with my self . (Update: still fighting . )
Re Re its not worth it. when I was in recovery it took me years to accept that I am born to be a curvy type of woman not the thin models in the media they're not living in your life. it took me years just to be comfortable in a curvy body like I have today.
mangoplantbased im so happy for you !!! ❤️❤️ same thing with me , we don't have any "skinny" people in our family , either average or overweight. But the thing is my mom used to fat shame me .. and thats how my "DIEt" started .. then i became anorexic then bulimic. Which is sad . But i forgave her .
Re Re Same problem. I still have issues with food.
Siddhi Vyas i know its not easy , but i helped myself , tried haaaarddd to focus on "healthy" instead of skinny
Carrie shazz me too , i just ignore her + the "you gained weight " comments from my friends
Wow, I mean, I frightened myself recently with bringing up blood and a tooth falling out (i also make videos about eating disorders) but I didnt really realise just how bad it can get, people mostly focus on anorexia as the main killer with eating disorders, bulimia always felt like the lesser evil, I am slowely realising this is not the case, I was nervous to click on this video as I knew it would be a little slap in the face, but thank you for making it! Sending love to anybody who is still going through this, I try to support people through the videos I make but only have a small platform, its nice to see people with a bigger platform making these videos
Harley catpoison I'm also so grateful Mia made this video!! 😀 Bulimia is so dangerous and life threatening.
Same with me 👀 I also have 2 children! Ugh god I wish this wasn't so important to us 😭
That doesn't make you a bad person! It's always depicted as a female teenagers problem primarily, it's nice to know I'm not the only mum too, I feel extremely selfish with my eating disorder!
Harley catpoison ij
They are both equally dangerous & that sounds really freaking scary. I hope you are working towards wellness. Stay strong.
TY for being real, direct and honest. You will change lives with your truth.
I too knew anorexia=death but, did not believe bulimia killed or even had such dangerous consequences. I had always been a fat child but, I had an neck injury doing gymnastics in highschool and it kept me in traction for months in hospital allowing me to lose weight. Suddenly I was beautiful, I was stopped in the street and offered modeling and pageant work.
Highschool boys asked me out & girls who bullied me now wanted to be my friend. I hated them all for being such hypocrites.
I fell back to old habits and started gaining weight.
I panicked but, my model friends said "no, come with me" and taught me to purge. We had gorging parties like drug addicts then took turns vomiting ( it was disgusting. Many drank or did drugs because they hated themselves so they made mistakes and messes.
This photo is so vivid because I saw it in person many times.
I went twice to rehab left modeling and gained lots of weight but, it was better then the vicious cycle and physical assault to my body daily.
Please hear me and this lovely brave woman.
YOU need to stop justifying and glamorizing b&p it is a dance with the devil.
YOU are so much more, so much better.
Reach out there is much help and sisterhood. Blessings and THANKS.
I'm 62 now, have struggled with disordered eating all my life but left behind the active binging and purging in my early 20s after there was blood in my vomit. (Probably just a ruptured vessel in my throat, but it still scared me.) My niece, age 30ish, is a full blown purger--not sure if she binges, too, probably she doesn't eat much. She got scary skinny a couple years ago and is now in therapy, has gotten up to culturally acceptable skinny, but when I last saw her I watched her eat 3-4 cake pops at a shower, then spend time in the bathroom, so...she's still struggling. I wish I had the courage to send her this video. 😔
Just send it and tell her to watch. You don’t need courage, just take a deep breath and then hit send. This could potentially save her, which makes it worth it
Send it! She needs to see it.
As soon as you showed the picture and read the speech , I cried so much. I finally realised what I was doing is wrong. TO ANYONE WHO SUFFERS FROM EATING DISORDERS, I'M SO SORRY AND STAY STRONG.
I’m hoping that you’re doing better.
I think the scariest part about this is that even when she saw the photo and made her realize truly how deadly it was, she didn't get into recovery for *2 years.* Believe it or not, a lot of people with ED's KNOW they will die from it. Hell, I don't even think I'm gonna make it past 20. It's a scary and terrifying illness and is the most deadly mental illness. First time I saw this image was about a year or two ago. It was weird to think about but by now I've accepted this as reality and that this kills, doesn't matter how old you are, what race/ethnicity you are, what gender, anything. Eating Disorders do not discriminate.
Please try and stay alive! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
hey do u think i should send this to my bulimic friend??
@@urmom-np8yq i guess it would depend but go ahead. of course it's not always gonna work but it might give them a reality check if they don't already know of all the dangers of bulimia
@@hqmemelords2240 yeah they are sucidal as well so im worried they might be like "oh well, guess I'll just die like this". also idk if it world be better to send the link or the video? hmm
@@urmom-np8yq maybe try to tell them first smth like "please watch this video, this is what can happen if you keep doing this" or "please watch this video, hopefully this'll make you think about recovery" bc forcing someone into recovery doesn't work. just hope it'll push them towards recovery even just a bit
haven't purged since I saw this video. still working on getting the binging under control, but it's a step in the right direction. thank you.
Hunter Hardie stay strong. I hope you are better?
I hope you are still doing well x
This video is going to help a lot of people. I was bulimic for 2 years in high school. The day I moved out of my parents' house, it just stopped. I was under such traumatic stress at home that the only comfort I found was food. Then I would feel regret and I'd worry that I was going to get fat. I'd eat sugary things and then purge. I thought I was going crazy because way back then, there wasn't even a NAME for this disorder and Anorexia Nervosa had just been named. Anyone out there who is having binging and purging, you CAN get better. Things WILL get better and you WILL BE LOVED. May all find the strength within to conquer this condition. I am in my late 60's now and I am so glad I didn't give up the fight. I made a good life for myself, all by myself. You can too.
I am pretty sure I have some type of eating disorder. I am terrified of gaining weight and only eat during a small period of the day. When I do eat, I sometimes end up binging, and will become extremely upset with myself. I have no idea what to do. I can't tell my parents, because they don't seem to be understanding or legitimate with this kind of stuff. Please help 💕
OkayAvery how are you doing now? I hope things are better xx
OkayAvery I feel u I’m the same way
same
I hope you are okay, please get help with a doctor or a therapist. Sending all the love to you💜
Same!!! I binged tonight and I feel like I have to diet hardcore tomorrow. There are times Whenever I come downstairs to look in the fridge or pantry for food, I always look at calories and turn away snacks I think are too much. Then there are times I full on binge, leaving me feeling extremely upset with myself wanting to exercise more. I would like to exercise more but since I have a bulging disc, I don’t get to exercise everyday, and that discourages me. I can totally relate to you. I am so caught up in gaining weight, that I check how much I weigh nearly everyday. I make sure u burn half of what I eat when I’m at the gym. And I’m constantly caught up in how my thighs look, considering for the fact I have a pear shaped body.
The problem is, killing is no warning for suicidal persons...
It should be - if you're suicidal, you still don't want to go out the worst way possible
@@CourtneyHammett don't be so sure. When my body dysmorphia was at it's worst I felt I deserved the worst most painful death
@@michelledelkel ah yeah. That's awful, I'm sorry. I always wanted to just sleep
Is not just dying is a painful and probably slow death. I have been suicidal for years of my life on end I would never wish to die like that
@@summerchild_ Something that helped me when I was at my peak with suicidal thoughts: You’re going to die. It’s inevitable. It doesn’t change for anybody because nobody is special with death. However, not everybody gets to live, either. It’s such a rarity to be alive, to experience pain and sadness and joy and elation, and you might as well enjoy it with the tiny amount of time you have, because it will be gone soon no matter what.
This video is saving lives. I will overcome this. Thank you
You can do this!!!
@maggypetrov Beautfully put, darling. Yes, everyone has a chance to recover and live life to the fullest! There was a time for me when I found comfort in the fact that I could always turn back to my ED, but being FULLY recovered now and knowing the truth about food, why would I want to? I guess it eventually stops giving you a hard time. Just be patient and don't depend on what you think you know in the beginning.
Keep us updated. Best of luck
It is SO BRAVE of this young woman's parents to wish that this graphic photo of their daughter's death be shared so that others can be saved ❤