LITTLE WOMEN and Healthy Family Relationships
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 พ.ย. 2020
- What does a healthy family look like? The March family of LITTLE WOMEN definitely qualifies! Jury is still out on the Seawrights. This week, licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and unlicensed filmmaker Alan Seawright are joined by writer/producer Megan Seawright, who probably also needs therapy, because she married Alan. And only a crazy person would do that.
They discuss the wonderful relationship skills, and temporary emotional and relationship setbacks, in Greta Gerwig's new, excellent, time-bendy version of Louisa May Alcott's classic Little Women. They talk about Jo's journey, Marmee's example, forgiveness, grief, and other ways the March family can be seen as a template for strong family dynamics.
As per usual, the best insights are coming from Megan. Jonathan explains the intellectual underpinnings of this lovely family, and Alan is kind of along for the ride, with the occasional filmmaking insight, that he stole from a ScreenRant article.
Just kidding, he's a genius.
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: Alan Seawright
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
"When our idols are imperfect, it gives us hope."
Beautiful.
Thank you Zandra.
I read this comment right when he was saying it, by chance
This line hit me so hard.
please forgive for being foolish but what does it mean?
@@tia4337 it means that even those people that seem to be perfect are not perfect. And when we realize this, we'll come to the realisation that we can achieve our goals too; Even though we're not perfect, it's not impossible to get what we want
"So weirdly me and my sisters never really fought... physically, but we... there was some..." *quick childhood flashback* "screaming..."
same. I have 3 sisters. I'm genderfluid, AFAB and there are only 6 years between my oldest sister and my youngest sister. I also have two younger brothers, but they just didn't experience the same things they way I experienced them with my sisters and the parenting changed drastically with them. I just do not feel as close to them as my sisters. There was only one physical attempt to fight, but being physically stronger than my older sister, I just held her hands so she couldn't hit me. But there was definitely screaming.
My sister & I had a few knock-out drag-out fights.
this made me laugh out loud
@@heidihansen1080 omfg just say you're a girl. You're not gender fluid
@@heidihansen1080 im sure being weaker than your younger sibling is the greatest shame the eldest can have.
As someone who lost her sister to illness, that scene where she's begging her sister to fight hits home way too hard.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sending love dear stranger, hope you’re taking care of yourself and doing well these days
❤️
I hope you're getting all the love and support you need x
I’m sorry for your loss
It would be really cool if they analyzed Pride and Prejudice
They talked about it in the first Twilight video and how P&P did romantic relationships better
I hope they do. That film is my all-time favourite, I've watched it so many times 😅
They need to do the A&E version, though, not the new one...
THAT WOULD BE AMAZING
Yes!
I do take issue with the tiny comment of Jo asking Beth to fight being about Jo being afraid of her changing... Beth is the least noisy of the March girls. She is the shyest, quietest sister. When Jo asks her to fight it's almost like she's asking her to "fight for once in your life, be angry, be more like me," not so much in a selfish way but in a way that is really human. Jo thinks if their situation was reversed, she would fight harder, so she's empathizing with Beth and offering the best advice she has even though it's not enough to save her and not necessarily fair. It's arguably the only time Jo wants Beth to change.
I was thinking the same thing. Asking Beth to fight was Jo basically telling Beth to be selfish and fight for her own needs for once in her life instead of going out quietly as Beth wants to do.
I found Jo a little immature at times. Especially when she receives feedback for her writing.
I feel like Jo just didn’t know what to do and how to handle the situation when Beth had accepted it so Jo was pushing her pain onto Beth. I don’t agree that it was the right thing for Jo to do, but it makes sense to the story and Jo’s character, and if it hadn’t been there that part of the movie wouldn’t have been as touching for the audience.
I think it's very realistic. I had a debilitating back injury in 2012 and as well as having to adjust to the changes to my body and my entire life as a result, I also experienced a lot of friends and family who struggled to process the change, and/or felt that my attempts at (radical?) acceptance needed to be called out as negative - giving up, etc. This was partly trying to do what they thought was best, but also indicative of their own discomfort about the changes, and the implications that modern science still can't fix everything.
I really feel for Beth in that scene, but I also understand where Jo's coming from. It's heartbreaking for both of them.
It's also why I hate the language/attitudes around 'fighting' cancer, and other illness. Noone dies of cancer/AIDS/Covid, etc. because they were too lazy or weak. No one should be pressured into treatments they don't want, etc. either. We will all die. Sad and uncomfortable but still just as true. We can't control that - or many many other things in our lives! - but whenever possible we should be allowed to face or deaths in the way we choose, without judgement. (as long as its not harming others)
Although written long before his poem, I saw it as Jo/Dylan Thomas encouraging their loved one to kick and scream. Like we come into the world crying and gasping for life, Jo hopes that her sister will not go meekly, if at all. Lots of medical prognosis is often framed as "it depends on how strong the patient's will to survive can be." It is often about our own impending grief. Fight as hard as you can, dear one, so that I may not have to grieve you. It's selfish and ALSO supportive.
As a writer, seeing Amy burn her book hit me hard. I might forgive, but I would NEVER forget, because there's an INSANE amount of work and time that goes into creating and writing a story. it can take years. My first novel took me 8 years. My second one now is taking close to 3.
I’m not sure I’d forgive. I’d hopefully still love her, but I would NEVER trust her ever again.
Yeah, I feel you.
Same. I writhe and feel all of Jo's pain, hurt, and anger.
Agreed. I lost 50 pages of a novel from a computer glitch and I still feel that pain. If someone had come and burned my pages deliberately, not sure I could ever completely get over that.
I've never even forgiven Amy on Jo's behalf. I am an only child though 😄
As a request, can you add captions to the videos rather than the TH-cam generated ones? I’d like to send this to a Deaf friend and the automatic ones aren’t always reliable
Ohh man if love to do that a couple times to help out
It would help non-English speakers as well. I don't always understand everything that people say when speaking in English and subtitles would really help me to get a better idea of the video.
It's been granted!
@@nanwijanarko1969 :000 thats awesome thx for telling us!!
there are captions, not auto generated
I think so many people take the “don’t let the sun go down on your anger” way too literally. I often see it as a long term thing, not a legit 24 hour time period.
Yes I tend to think of it as its better to at least acknowledge that the anger is real but not permanent. I will try to say something 'I love you but I need time to deal with this', not burning any bridges but also getting the space I need to process it.
No one should ever have to schedule their emotions in such a regimented way. I remember after my mum died a new teacher at school said "well of course you're not over it yet - it hasn't even been a year!" which 13 year old me heard as this is your upcoming deadline. Which I completely failed to meet and then had guilt about. Yay! 😏
Absolutely. I think one of the most important things to remember with any strong emotion is to give it time to run its course. You can't try to 'move on' when you are still experiencing the raw emotion.
I agree. And I think, in this instance, Marmee meant "Don't stay angry with her forever" rather than "Forgive her immediately". I DO think that Amy knew that burning Jo's manuscript would hurt Jo in the worst way possible and she did so on purpose because she was angry with her sister and wanted her to feel pain and that was the best way of achieving that. And I actually like the fact that unlike the Winona Ryder version, Jo DOESN'T forgive her immediately. It takes a catastrophe like Amy nearly drowning for Jo to realize her anger needed to be tempered. But I think BY waiting, the forgiveness and healing was much more sincere and heartfelt than had she forgiven Amy immediately. If you just say "Fine, I forgive you" when you are still angry, its not sincerely felt. If you say it when you've calmed down, it comes from a place of sincere repentance. Amy burning the book WAS a deep loss for Jo and she was justified in being really pissed off at her sister. Its not like now, when you can save your manuscripts on a thumbdrive. Amy burned the only copy of Jo's book and it was gone forever. As a writer myself, I would be DEVASTATED if someone did that to one of my manuscripts.
@@CeltycSparrow Absolutely. You can't let people think they can do anything to you just because you will forgive them. Even family has it's limits after all. That doesn't mean never forgiving though, as in the movie, there are more important things, even if the loss of her book was incredibly heartbreaking for her.
I think this sentence is a biblical verse or inspired of a biblical verse and yeah it’s more of a « don’t die with anger and resentment towards her » kinda thing. Marmee was implying that death can come at any moment and that she should forgive her before one of them died I think because all know that anger and resentment don’t disappear with a finger snap
Hi, I'm 19 years old and I just wanted to share with you guys from Cinema Therapy that this video made a turning point in my life... I discovered your channel not a long time ago and wanted to show my sister some of your videos. While watching this one, we started to talk about our own family (we are six sisters) for the next 3 hours. Right now we are going through a lot of changes. Never ever before, were we so open about our faults, fears, the reasons for them, our wishes and expectations of each other. And all of a sudden everything doesn't seemed like a big catastrophe or incredibly difficult and unsolveable. It seemed normal. We understood, I think, that sharing all of these experiences and growing up with them, makes us a strong family! One whose all members
could sometimes be angry with one another, argue, be jealous, but also truly love and support each other - like Jonathan said. So I know it'll be hard to get through all of these difficult times, however, we can do it, together!
You have to know that you guys have relieved and helped me/us a lot
and I am very grateful to you for it!
Best regards from Germany!
So wunderschön ❤
I think a point your missing in the Jo/Amy book burning- falling through the ice thing… is that Jo’s grudge contributes to Amy falling through the ice. They didn’t wait for her, and they didn’t tell her the middle wasn’t safe. It’s easy to forget that Amy is meant to be around 12 here.
So not only did she nearly lose her sister, but she nearly lost her through her own anger. It’s kinda a metaphor for how her continued anger can harm others.
Oh shit, that's what Jo meant by "I did let the sun go down on my anger." My ass didn't even question her not waiting for her.
@@briannagravely9349 I didn’t either until I revisited the story in my 30s.
Jo is such a loveable, relatable heroine that it’s easy to be firmly on Jo’s side. Amy’s choice to burn Jo’s book is a deeply cruel choice to make. We understand why Jo is so angry at her, so we understand her decision not to wait for her on the ice.
Plus, Jo’s decision harms Amy indirectly. Jo doesn’t push Amy through the ice. Even though the result has higher stakes, Jo’s decision is not equal to the callous, cruel choice Amy makes to harm Jo. So as a reader/viewer, it’s easier to pass over Jo’s actions.
Plus, Jo and Teddy immediately jump to save her, and it’s clear how terrible Jo feels afterwards for not waiting for Amy. So even when our heroine screws up, she makes up for it perfectly.
I thought about this as I listened to the audiobook.
13:45 Even though I wasn't a huge fan of this new version of Little Women, I do love that Greta Gerwig included aspects of the real story of Louisa May Alcott. The book Little Women was a loose story telling of LMA's own childhood. When she first published the book, the story ended at the chapter where their father returns from war and Meg gets engaged. Because of the demand from the public to the publishers to know more about what happened to the lives of the sisters, she then was asked to write a sequel which she called "Good Wives". Today the books are printed together and its why when you read the book you'll notice that there is a 4 year gap between the chapter of the Christmas when their father returns and Meg gets engaged and the following chapter which is when Meg gets married. When LMA was approached to write the sequel she was pressured to marry Jo off and they assumed she would marry Laurie. But LMA didn't want Jo to marry because she herself never did and Jo was a representation of herself. She did marry Jo off in the end in order to please the publishers, but she placed her own twist on it. She was also able to negotiate a much higher percentage of the sales of the books than what was customary, especially as a somewhat unknown author at the time and a women!
Long time fan of Louisa May Alcott and Little Women. I remember saying to the folks who saw the film with me that it felt like Greta Gerwig wanted to make a film about LMA, and using LW was the best vehicle to do so.
I loved the way this ending was done. Professor Bhaer is an amazing character, and I love him and Jo together (another example of a healthy relationship). But acknowledging LMA’s journey, and her own triumphs and satisfaction with her life as it was is such an amazing thing to include.
Both paths for women can be rewarding and fulfilling. ❤️
Thanks for the deep dive. True fans make the comments work.👏
Oooh that's so cool, thank you for sharing this!
I'll always think of Jo as aroace- and I think Louisa kind of wanted to make Jo aroace, in a time where the words “aromantic” and “asexual” weren't available yet. Since she was kind of “forced” to marry Jo off, I'll take it as the author's intention hahaha.
I don't think Greta Gerwig had it right and leads to your interpretation which is incorrect. LMA had a real life Bhaer who she just never was able to marry, there's articles on this. @@joanapitanguinha150
I never really thought that some of my very chill friends got angry or upset, even though you'd think that'd be obvious.
Oh, it's totally human. It happens to all of us :)
Haha my brother is the chillest chill of the cold ice cream in the deep freezer and super loving and mature but when he's mad he's M A D
HA my friends never expect me to be angry until I try to get rid of one of my friends then they realize how rude I get. I did successfully drop over half of my friends but I've tried multiple times before.
I always thought it was interesting that the pages were burned and then the culprit was plunged in ice. There's something in that.
Mind burned, body iced. I see it!
“Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” can be referenced in the Bible where it says in context of not sinning that anger is not a sin, but don’t let the anger prevail and allow you to sin because you hung onto your anger until the sun went down. In context it’s instruction on the community to work together through problems and not to incite others (such as lying to one another or stealing).
I feel like many, MANY people should put this moral in action.
To me, this refrence felt a little out of place in the 2019 version since it mostly strips away Marmee's Biblical instructions.
OHHHH!!! that line confused me. Thanks for the clarification
You’re so informed! Thanks for the context.
I think that anger and resentment should be differentiated, you can go to bed still hurt or resentful if you need to rest, but the feeling of anger should subside.
This was the first time watching this story where I didn’t despise Amy. Because of that non-linear timeline of the film, we see how Amy matures and how her and Laurie always had love for each other. It’s refreshing and just so wonderful. 💜
Agreed, we love it too!
the 1994 version is much superior
I agree, but Amy's overall portrayal is a strength to this film's telling. @@iknowexactlywhoyouare8701
I despise Amy until she goes to stay with aunt march when Beth has Scarlett fever
i just found this channel and the amount of good content is astounding. a want a special shoutout to megan for picking the movie and writing good content
Yes! More props to Megan!
Yea I love it here 😊 welcome ❤
@@CinemaTherapyShow more Megan please. She is a lovely guest and her relationship with Alan is goals.
I wish the movie had included the chapter where Marmie's sick and the girls have to 'fend for themselves'. They realize how much they rely on their mom for keeping the house organized and meal preparation. Also, so we could've seen Saorise Ronan covered in flour 'is it riz?' 😂
I'm rereading LW for a second time and that was hilarious 🤣
I think their dad was sick and the mother went to tend to their father
Marmie was never sick they conducted a week long experiment to relax all week and see how they get on and on the last day marmie does not get out of bed and sends Hannah away
"don't let the sun go down on your anger" is from the bible and it means not literally but that anger shouldn't stay long.
yes. I was going to comment that, but I found yours. In the original book, the four girls receive a bible and they study it everyday, so their mother always quotes the bible. In the movie they absolutely omitted that :(
@@anna.esther blame the "Great Awakening"
@@marieindia8116 sorry, I didn’t understand
Alan not being afraid to cry has truly endeared him to me
I feel the same way. - Jonathan
I did find it really jarring that the sisters look the same age despite being children in the flashbacks and adults in the present scenes. And this completely skews a viewer’s perception of how the relationships are being handled at different ages/stages of life, even if they’re told what age the sisters are supposed to be. It’s not the same seeing an actual 10-12 year old burn her teenage sister’s project and throwing a tantrum than watching a 20 something doing it to her also 20 something sister.
I know it’s a “suspension of disbelief” thing (and having less actresses thing) but I found it really difficult to transition between one time and the other, thus making it harder for me to relate and enjoy the story as much as the book or other versions.
Yeah, I can see that. I was just so impressed with the performances, that I guess I didn’t mind. Alan here, I may have been working in film too long. 🤷🏼♂️
I haven't seen this version of Little Women, but I think that'd be one of the reasons I'd still prefer the 90's version with Wynona Rider- the sisters all actually look different ages, especially young Kirsten Dunst being Amy helps sell how young Amy is supposed to be.
@@CinemaTherapyShow I liked the jump cuts too, as someone who has read and loved the book since childhood I liked the different twist to the story telling and I was able to follow along. But the whole time I did think that it would be really hard for someone who has no frame of reference of the story line prior to be able to follow along and appreciate it.
The thing I didn't like was the creative license that was taken in the relationship between Amy and Jo. There were times in the book where Amy and Jos personalities conflicted but I felt like the added scenes not originally in the book added something that was never in the book to begin with. Like the scene toward the end when Jo wrote the letter to Laurie having changed her mind, when at that same time he had just engaged himself to Amy, THAT LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENED IN THE BOOK!
This also the costuming was really terrible they could have at least showed the time periods with costumes to represent the passage of time
@@celene_moon I’ve also watched that video about the costuming, and to each their own I guess. I personally don’t think it’s something that people are really looking for in the theater, although it goes without saying that the movie probably shouldn’t win any costuming awards. The color grading really worked for me in terms of the time jumps, because it colored the loneliness and despair that Jo feels in the future as opposed to the warmer memories she has of childhood. I’d never read the book beforehand but understood immediately what Gerwig was doing. But I am biased because I really do love it so 🤷🏼
"So i married the wrong person?"
"Yes"
"So you shouldve married my little sister?"
"No!"
Haha clearly not the direction he expected or wanted.
"Everytime Alan cries... Like and subscribe."
If it works... we're gonna be huge.
@@CinemaTherapyShow it certainly worked with me lol. I was like "whoa, he's actually showing emotion and isn't ashamed or playing it off." It's always refreshing to see someone, especially a guy, who is ok with feelings and being human
@@naynaya3565 time stamp?
@@bennyton2560 19:05
Words to live by
Marmee is a brilliant mother. All of the characters are wonderfully written, but Marmee and Jo are my favourites.
I know a lot of people relate to Jo here... But I especially love this movie for showing just how different women are, and that it's okay to want different things. I especially loved Meg, for this character symbolises everything that feminism tries to "overcome". And by normalising this, it really opens doors for women who make the choice to be homemakers!
And of course there's my all-time favourite dialogue from Amy: "Don't sit there and tell me, that marriage is not an economic proposition. Because, for women, it is!"
when jo says "i don't love him, i just love being loved" that speaks to me so much about my relationships
The "don't let the sun goes down on your anger" comes from the Bible [Ephesians 4:26]. Also, the whole Jo and her mother's anger is much more significant and impactful in the book and reoccurs a number of times as we see Jo's progress toward controlling her temper. It's also really cool to read the sequels (there are 4 books in the series, although the first are pretty much always paired like in the movie. The first book actually ends when the dad gets home) and see how much Jo has matured and come to be this sturdy gentle and self-controlled woman.
Little Women is one of my favourites stories, mainly because I relate so much to Jo. Also, it was the first book that made me cry, and whenever I've watched/read it I still cry.
That's what I also thought!!
1) OMG I thought there were only 2 books! 🤯 Gotta order the others toot suite!
2) another thing I like about Jo learning about her anger, especially on the scene they highlighted here, is what she's describing as being "wrong" with her is exactly the same state Amy was in when she burned the book. So, this internalised guilt/shame/fear about that part of herself is also projected on to her sister and she can't see past her pain to the similarities. Then finding out Marmee has had similar struggles gives her a model to work towards, and allows her to lessen that internalised sense of wrongness
I always assume Marmee had a similar conversation with Amy at some point. Marmee ftw! 😁
Coming out of the Second Great Awakening, this was one of the most Biblically literate eras in US history so, probably.
Sorry-I didn't see your comment when I made mine
I love that Alan gushed about the filmmaking. Greta Gerwig's masterful handling of this adaptation is seriously underrated.
Well, now I'm crying. It doesn't matter how often I see it, Beth dying always makes me burst into tears.
I was sobbing loudly in theatre
This is so relatable. As someone with multiple siblings, this scene really makes me think about the inevitability that I’m going to live through at least one of my siblings deaths. When I have a nightmare, like being chased by a killer or being alone In a dark woods, it’s always the ones where my siblings die that has me waking in a cold sweat and checking the top bunk to make sure my sisters ok.
the scene begins and the tears roll
Saaaaaame. It guts me every time.
I haven't watched it, but I also cried during this video.
I'd love to see them talk about family dynamics in Little Miss Sunshine.
Lmao now THAT was a fucked up movie. I loved it
Yes!! I'd also love to see them explore Boyhood. So many examples of healthy (and a few unhealthy) relationships. 😊
That part when he said Little Women resonates because it's about a functional family, it finally clicked for me why it doesn't resonate with me a smidge... and also why I've always wished I loved it and try to look for reasons to love it.
Would love to see an analysis of the mother/daughter dynamic in Lady Bird!
Please do this!!
Yes please!
YES PLEASE😭❤
14:10 just wanna put in my 2 cents because I think it is a worthy distinction "She may not have found that" is wrong. The whole point of her storyline in this film is "She may not have chosen that path after all" and yet she is still happy and successful. Honestly, the end kinda said, "and it isn't any of your business if she got married or not."
Yeah
I'd really like to see them watch Euphoria. They might not due to how explicit the show is but it's very realistic when comes to trying to figure out how to have a stable, rational, good relationship as a teenager with no experience. I'm sure Cassie would terrify them as dads. She's a perfect example of how not having a good male role model affects how you treat men and let men treat you. Maddy and Nate are obviously abusive and they can talk about why she stays and the numerous problems Nate has. Jules trauma from the psychiatric ward and her mom basically abandoning her. Rue's drug addiction. It'd be a very good way to analyze relationships. It's also just a great way to analyze people in general since they took time to show every character as a person with problems, flaws, but also their good parts.
YES
100%
omg please yes
yess thats one of my favorite shows because i analyze it myself but i would LOVE to hear an actual therapist talk about it(to bad i don't have my own therapist to bother about it anymore lol)
that show is just dramatic af and not really realistic.
There's so many good series to review, but they don't do TV shows, because of the longevity of them, and rather sticks to movies
..but if they did do series, Euphoria would be 1 of many great choices!
I have always wondered what its like being in a family with healthy relationships
I think the ending of the film is what Louisa May Alcott would have wanted, just because it so heavily implies that it is Jo's bookending we see, and not Jo's real ending. If I remember right, Alcott was forced to write a marriage into her book to get it published, but she didn't want that. And she never got married herself either. So if we interpret this ending correctly, Alcott got the single girl ending that she always wanted for Jo
She never married not because she didn't want to marry. It's because the person she loved died before they could. If we see Jo as a stand-in for Louisa, this film is not an accurate interpretation of Louisa's life.
Movies with losing siblings always hit me right in my heart. There was a lot of fighting between my parents when we were kids. And sometimes it would get very scary but we always helped each other. My brother stepping in between my dad and sister or my dad and mom when they were arguing, My older sister sticking up for me at school, and me practically covering my younger sister's ears and averting her eyes when things would get too heavy at home. I never realized how much we took care of each other when the house was unstable. Oh God I'm crying lol!
A cut from friends with Rachel ruining little women for Joey would have been fitting when talking about the new version ruining the ending essentially ha
I love seeing how different women relate to the March sisters, I know a lot of people that see a lot of themselves in Jo and I do to, but I personally really connected with Amy and I know other women who are definitely Beth and Meg, it’s just really interesting
As a child raised as a only child with a half brother I never lived with, with a age gap of 20+ years between us, I don't relate but did enjoy seeing this film.
I feel you (Alan here). My brother moved out when I was 12. Basically an only child after that.
It’s NOISY with all those sisters.
In high school, I was in a production of Little Women and boooyyyy when I tell you we cried every time Beth's death scene happened... Every. single. performance. without fail there were tears streaming down every cast member's face especially when it came to singing the song right before she dies.
I loved Amy's character bc in the end I related to all the sisters but Amy taught me that you are allowed to make mistakes. And many of us in anger from unreasonable reasons do stupid things. Amy taught me is how you can grow afterward. She did something that angered me so much bc of how she burned pages, yet again she started growing from her ways. She became an actual woman who was patient and was very mature. Of course, she was a child and some things in life we do are unreasonable but the way we learn and mature is what counts. Of course, I create to all the characters from obvious things such as Jo's writing and my writing and Amy's art and my art and even being a pianist. Yet it was always the sisters and all the characters being role models to younger me because the older I got the more I saw of myself in these characters
"you can rent or buy little women" - Jonathan Decker
😂😂😂
LMAOOOO
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
@@myahutber922 💀💀
I think its really important to remember that when you have an abusive family-a mother, a father, a sibling etc, you SHOULD NOT rely on the "we can turn another page and forgive and forget."
That is not only bad advice for the person in the abusive family dynamic but so super unhealthy for the person receiving the abuse.
Most family members who are abused continually go back and apologize hoping to make it better, but it never gets better.
Abusive family members are the worst kind of abuse. There is so much guilt, shame and sadness for the abused family member who doesnt want to have a relationship with them because its their parent or sibling. Theyve had an entire lifetime of memories with.
I know this because I have a mother and brothers who are very abusive.
While its easy for someone to say-"we can turn a page and have a new start", with an abusive family, "forgiving and forgetting", moving forward to (hopefully) never experience that again based situation things, never happens.
Well put. thank you
@@Lee-nm9tf r u sayinng amy is abusive? im confused. although I do agree with not forgiving and forgetting everything
@@annasophia2428 It’s insane for anyone to even say “Amy is abusive.” Amy was 12, a child who was made to feel small and unwanted by her older sisters (she merely wanted to go see a play with them.)
She did ONE bad thing out of childish anger, but that doesn’t make her abusive.
If it does, then how about the fact that someone who was older than Amy ( **cough** 15-year-old Jo **cough** ) and whom should’ve been more mature than Amy, nearly _killed_ Amy - a child & her own baby sister - just because Jo herself was blinded by anger?
Jo willingly refused to tell Amy about the fragile ice, since Amy hadn’t heard Laurie’s warning, and it was only until the last second that Jo had a change of heart. Amy would’ve _died_ because of Jo, if it hadn’t been for Laurie. As Jo said, “it might have been too late.”
Jo forgave Amy, but many people still villainize the actions of Amy as a child, despite Jo’s own faults. Is book-burning a worse crime than allowing someone to drown? And does anyone still hold grudges for what their sibling did as a child?
I remember some things my older sister did, but I don’t have any remaining resentment for it.
@@winterblossom9546 agreed, they hit her where it hurts, she WANTS to go out into society, more than anything, and seeing a play is like the most societal thing out there, so she wanted to hit jo where it hurts and she did
this was an issue for me also because I have abusive members who act like I am unforgiving because I have limited contact with them and their dramas. I had to do some in depth research on what real forgiveness is, and according to the Bible (relevant because Marmy quotes it a lot) repentance of the guilty party is an absolute requirement for complete forgiveness from the victim. Even God himself doesn't forgive those who merely give excuses for their behavior. For someone who isn't sorry in real, and doesn't change what they do, the only valid kind of forgiveness they should receive is the kind where the victim lets go of the resentment for their own peace of mind. This kind of forgiveness does not require a restoration of trust. I hope this is helpful.
"That's my secret, Jo, I'm always angry" I do love Laura Dern's Marmee.
My parents have always taught me and my brother to 'never go to bed angry'. We always tried to resolve fights/discussions before we said goodnight/goodbye. And I think this really teaches kids to learn how to forgive and not hold grudges. So we always tried to talk to each other. And that doesn't mean that we were not angry or hurt anymore but at least we talked about it and expressed how what happened made us feel. And I really value that and it makes me be very aware that most things are not worth being angry about/hold grudges for a long time. I love how this movie shows that
The scene when Beth dies always makes me cry like a baby. The mirrored shots, the contrast between when Jo comes down and sees them relieved versus when she comes down and sees Marmee so devastated never fails to hurt. You almost hope the same will happen as when Beth first gets sick, but knows it won't happen again.
God bless Greta Gerwig and Laura Dern.
I like when Alan's wife Megan joins the discussion as she did during the Pride And Prejudice Reaction. Also Little Women was a fabulous classic right along with P& P. And Megan would have first hand experience with so many sisters. Now I have to go back and read that book again.
This isnt a movie but I would love it if you watched or looked into she-ra, it explores a lot of deeper themes- especially abuse with Catra's character
Yessssssss. OMG She-Ra has an incredible depiction of surviving abuse with someone else and how an abuser can control multiple people. There's actually a really good analysis on Catra by Five by Five Takes.
@Ionasku Alexander I don't think it's about forgiveness, but rather kindness. Remember Catra's still really young and has been abused all her life.
Yes, she was a bad person who did awful things, and her role in the final fight doesn't negate all the damage she caused. However, she still deserves the chance to prove she can be better, and that she can heal from the trauma in her past.
Also, the abuse she suffered was way worse than anyone else in the Horde. Shadow Weaver specifically picked on her and threatened to kill her multiple times while she was still a child. She wasn't strong enough to overcome her abuse and move on without help, and that's okay.
She hasn't fully "redeemed" herself by the end of the series, but she's trying and sometimes that's the best we can all do.
@Ionasku Alexander Yes,she does! She only like that because of how others treated her and she changed in the series
@Ionasku Alexander I don't agree. You can't expect an abused child to react like a functional human when all their life experience was defined by the abuse by crappy people. The only light in her life was Adora and she hold onto it until she finally became the person she wanted to be. The one who shed all of her hurt and let it die in the dirt. What's good in this serie is that it's about kids who almost all mess up at some point but who become better thanks to their healthy and amazing support system.
There's an amazing video on that called Five by Five Takes called Why Catra Matters.
I'm glad at the small criticism of the cutting back and forth of the newer version. It spoils the ending, but also removes the emotional weight and intensity of the childhood scenes: not as much tension between Laurie and Jo because we know it doesn't work out, and we're not afraid for Beth in the past because we know she makes it. Also that scene after the novel burning between Jo and Amy is better in the Winona Rider version, because Amy is an actual child, Jo really hurts her physically, so they both do wrong, and Marmee acknowledges Jo's hurt much better.
this is one of the few times where I'm just completely hooked into the clip and not paying attention to the commentary. the Beth juxtaposition broke me, every time. I just cry uncontrollably
shows how amazing this film is
Another great video! Loved that your analysis was centered around how specifically the family was a show of healthy relationships between all them all.
Thank you Edward! Such a beautiful film.
I used to resent the line 'don't let the sun go down on your anger' so much because it was one of the phrases my parents used to make us kids not be angry at them... its forever a gaslighting phrase for me
It can be sueful sometimes, but only in certain situations. If something serious has caused a breach in a relationship, then... no. Absolutely not. I'd also argue that what Amy did, destroying something written out by hand without any plot notes in order to rewrite it again... was such a case. Sometimes family do thing that you can't square with and you need to distance yourself from them. In modern terms, what Amy did would certainly qualify.
idk about you guys but Amy was the best character for me. Her changing from this childish kid to an amazingly strong woman omg and she is so perfect with laurie. kinda was hoping for your comments on that side of the story, but this was still so wholesome and I freaking LOVE your channel!!!
I loved Amy so much ❤️ seeing her growing up and let go of a very childish part of her was very sad for me: she had so many responsibilities over her shoulders. Love her
She’s my favorite both in books and greta movie too!
I always identified with Amy the most and found Jo to be the least relatable (even though so much is focused on her lmaoo) but I never admitted it because so many people hate Amy. This movie redeemed Amy in a lot of people's eyes so that's cool. 😅
agreed except laura part.
Does anyone else see Little Women as a Christmas movie? All the versions of it take place during Christmas and it's a story of family which to me is what Christmas is all about.
19:08 I appreciate this moment where the mom, who as Megan said is normally the rock of the family, allows herself to crumble and cry in Jo’s arms. We all need to fall apart sometimes before building ourselves back up after a loss. Being “the strong one” that others rely on can take its toll.
Taking about the traits that some people just admit "this is who I am. I can't change it." I love that Marmee shows that she overcomes her character flaws because she wants to. She wants to be better than her flaws. I love this story. Any version. Even the modern version from 2018 with Lea Thompson as Marmee. I love this story.
I liked how you knew which couple to root for because it helps you pay more attention to the sisters relationships without too much attention on romantic competition, although a little bit is present when Amy tries to make sure that Lori is not making her a fall-back plan, but it isn't an outright competition. Romantic competitiveness is such a sad thing to occur between women's relationships. Women's relationships have so much more color and possibilities. Same goes for men's relationships. It was really nice to explore and see the better possibilities than keeping one a watchful eye out for how they would handle competing for romance.
“Nonlinear.. totally out of order”.. ha! “Wibbly-wobbly.. timey-wimey... stuff”
"That's my secret...I'm always angry" 😂Love the subtle Hulk reference
Am I the only one who thinks the concept of this channel is ABSOLUTELY AWESOME? I'm addicted!
I understand the sentiment, but I also think it's normal to be angry with someone and also not want them to die. I think Jo could have saved Amy at the pond and still been like, "I'm glad you're ok, but we're not good yet."
I feel this.
It actually reminds me of this character (different story) who's just . . . an absolute, constant, supportive sweetheart, but he's surrounded by hair-trigger hotheads. So at one point he comments that they never let him get upset about anything, since they always beat him to the punch. Something about the general scenario of being upset by something, but feeling pressured into not expressing and working through what happened . . . I guess it really hits a nerve -- probably for a lot of us.
This would be true if Amy's accident hadn't been Jo's fault. Laurie told her specifically to instruct Amy that the ice was thinner near the center and to avoid it. In her anger, Jo deliberately didn't do that and Amy fell through the ice. Amy's death would've forever been her fault in her mind because she couldn't let go of the anger.
@@eyesofthecervino3366 where is that from?
@@thatgirlwashere6321
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. It's a pretty good watch.
When I was younger, my mom tried to get me to read Little Women. She told me that I would probably like Amy the most.
I never did finish the story because I ended up hating Amy as a character and was so upset that my mom thought I was anything like her!
"you can rent or buy little women" is a risky choice of words. XD
I can't stop listening to you, guys... You make my work hours so much pleasing.
I would have loved to see your reaction to Jo's speech about wanting to be loved and the feeling of loneliness!
My sweet sister passed away 10 years ago. She had Spina Bifida and hydrocephalus. When Beth dies it hits me so hard. Our family is very close and I am thankful for the support we had during that time. I don't know if I would have called our family functional, but maybe we were/are.
Loving your channel and talks so far! Have you guys considered doing more mythbusting type videos, like movies like Split and how they poorly portray mental disorders/therapy/psychology in general? Or any such movie, Split is just one I fall back on because I do have DID and I get people referencing it all the time when I tell them.
We for sure are going to do SPLIT. Super entertaining but terribly inaccurate and not sensitive to real-life DID persons. We're on it.
@@CinemaTherapyShow Awesome! Can't wait.
I come from a family with 2 parents (male + female) and a total (including me) of 4 daughters. I am the 3rd and very much relate to Jo and Beth. I love my parents and my sisters very much I can say that we all relate to Little Women in a way, not very much so but still somewhat relate.
I GOT A HEART FROM 'EM!!!! THANK YOU!! My year was just made.
It has been suggested that the warm filtered scenes are the book she wrote, while the cool filtered scenes are reality she lived.
3:22 - 3:26 I never noticed what a beautiful response this was. 👏
Jonathan, if Alan ever says, "I'm no Steven Spielberg", respond by saying, "thank goodness; we already have him".
This whole movie is basically me and my four younger sisters. We watched this movie in theatres and laughed and cried so much. On the ride home, we kept joking about how the director had hidden cameras in our house and based the sisterly relationships portrayed in the movie on us. It is such a beautiful and accurate representation of sisterly relationships and nails it to a T.
Of the three versions of “Little Women” that I’ve seen, the newest movie is actually my least favorite. The 2017 mini-series shows a livid Marmee leaving the room to cope with her frustration over Amy burning Jo’s story. Talk about “show, don’t tell.” It is ten times more effective than a perfectly put-together Laura Dern *saying* that she struggles to control her anger.
EDIT: But you are all fabulous! Thanks for another great video and deep-dive! 😊
Thanks for the love, and there's so many versions of this story, it's true. So many ways to tell it. Welcome to the channel!
I did think this one had some problems with telling instead of showing, but it's still my favorite because it gave every girl the spotlight. In older adaptations, we usually only really see Jo as a fully fleshed-out character but in this one, all of the sisters were 3rd dimensional. I think the best example is Amy who is usually regarded as a brat but in this one, she's a talented woman who, while possibly vain, is that way because that's how it worked then and she's smart enough to know that. Her speech on how marriage is economical for women is spot on and shows why her character acts like she does.
I get "showing not telling" as a general writing rule, but for this particular scene in the 2019 version, the key part seems to be in the telling rather than the merely having. This is about more than Marmee being angry - it's about Jo learning from Marmee and Marmee being mature enough to be vulnerable and discuss her own struggles to help Jo - so the "telling" is essential to the "showing".
[Edited to remove a tangent re the 2017 mini-series to avoid distracting from my main point]
@@a.y.g.7464 You should probably watch the mini-series, then, as you would see that your sentiments are premature.
I can relate to it. Apparently my own emotions--which feel overwhelming--usually don't touch my expression.
I love this movie so much! It’s my favorite version of Little Women. Greta gerwig did such a good job and I feel like this is the first version that does justice to Amy and doesn’t villanize her
Can you do something on "Love, Simon"?
We're planning on it in our 2021 lineup :) Lovely film.
@@CinemaTherapyShow to add onto the 2021 lineup, May you add the 10th anniversary of Les Miserables?
Ooh, good! It was really important to a friend of mine who had recently come out around the time it aired. So glad it's in the queue!
I love his insight on the sun going down on anger... I was still frustrated about a situation and still reviewing it in my mind, and so not in the mood to talk, but I clarified that with my husband before going to bed... I think that’s an important distinction to make. It’s not forgotten, it still hurts, but you’re working on forgiveness.
I LOVE this movie. When my dad and I saw the first trailer for it together we immedietly looked at eachother and said "Thats our family." cause I grew up as the oldest in a house of 5 sisters. We all loved this movie and could near instantly pin point which one of us each sister was.
"It didn't come with a manuel" that is something alot of parents can relate to
As someone who grew up in basically the opposite of the Little Women household (3 brothers, 1 older but was raised separately; parents were divorced; mother was abusive etc) and soon-to-be the mother of 3 girls all with different personalities, I'm EXCITED to see what is said here!
Feeding the algorithm
Yes! Thank you!
@@CinemaTherapyShow with pleasure. Found your channel today and am having a fun time binging
i may have actually just processed a huge amount of my trauma from this. I think i understand where a lot of my pain is being held, i knew it was there for so long but i didnt know what it was. Thank you, im crying now lol
You're so welcome!
“Don’t let the sun go down on your anger”, is a biblical quote from a Ephesians 4:26. The full verse goes be wrathful, but do not sin; do not let the sun set while you are still angry”.
Would you consider looking at the relationships and growth of Emma in the 2020 Emma?
Thank you!
I too grew up with the 1994 Little Women, and I also loved the 2019 one! But they're SO different in the development of each sister and each relationship -- not to mention the vast differences in cinematography style -- I think you guys could quite comfortably do a video for each of the two versions, and come away with totally different insights. I know I did.
I like the idea that what makes the March Family functional is their ability to come together and take care of the group when needed. However, I think the other factor in that is that they all trust that everyone is going to do their part and that it's grounded in love. There are plenty of families where that trust has been destroyed through years of abuse and manipulation but then the manipulator/abuser then tries to claim that it is the duty of the family to come together or else no one loves them. So, the family does come together out of guilt. Because that situation lacks the afforementionrd trust and is grounded in guilt rather than love it seems that it is inherently disfunctional.
I think the choice to make it clear who is gonna be romantic endgame and "let down" (story-wise) was necessary and one of the best things they did in this movie. Bc it made Jo's famous speech "Love is not all a woman is fit for." count. It made the movie more sincere. If they'd build the romantic relationships in another way, if they'd made them more exciting and important it prob would have come across as hypocritical... bc the romance should not be more important than the personal journeys of these girls aka little women.
Thoughts: With the line "when our idols are imperfect, it gives us hope" seems to have another step inserted. While growing up, our parents are the most important people in our lives. When this works, it seems like there is no situation our parents can't deal with, no problem they can't solve. Then we reach an age where we realize that our parents are not perfect, that they've been winging it the whole time. I think that many of us have an initial reaction, like we've been tricked. Our parents aren't perfect? Then why have I been dealing with them telling me what to do all these years? Why have I been putting up with their sanctimony? It's a betrayal! I think this results in our rebellions, usually in our teens. We try to separate ourselves from our parents, trying to find or own way because we now realize that we can only count on ourselves after all. But in time, as we experience how hard life is, we realize that our parents were doing the best they could all along. I think this is when it's okay for parents to be their kids' friends, not before. Before they need parents. I think this is when the hope kicks in. That imperfection humanizes them and I think that we will find that we like them better because they they aren't perfect. Because we now understand the challenges ourselves, they become relatable. At least, if we can all get over ourselves enough, and in time.
How did you describe my entire young adulthood in a single paragraph?
I like how you confronted the pattern of how the relationships are portrayed in the book vs the movie. While the film provides an explanation of Amy and Laurie, it takes away the surprise of Jo and the professor. I personally would choose surprise over explanation, but the film helped me to not hate Amy for snatching Laurie lol!
“When our idols are imperfect, it gives us hope.” This has been SO TRUE to me and my life as an aspiring filmmaker. I look at artists I admire, like Bo Burnham (who structures his work around talking about his insecurities and anxieties in a fun and entertaining way), and Adam Wingard, who directed/edited one of my favorite horror movies, You’re Next (2013), and openly admitted in a making-of featurette that he’d been “pretty terrified” going into shooting it. That sort of stuff gives me hope, and the strength to not let my fears about finding a career post-college, or getting projects of my own made, get me down. Because now I have real-world examples of my idols feeling anxious, and scared, and insecure as well, which lets me know I’m not alone
I LOVE this version myself. I wish this kind of family affection was more common and normalized instead of being "weird". I was the only boy with two older sisters and two younger sisters and this story is relatable even to a grown man like me =)
Little Women is my favorite story. I relate most to Meg: a more quiet and reserved caretaker who Just wants the simple little things in life. Ultimately, I think we can see bits of ourselves or who we want to be in these women. It’s such an incredible and timeless story.
Yeah, when Amy burned Jo's novel, I was completely on Jo's side. She only had one copy of her novel, she hand-wrote the whole thing, and it was the petty vengeance of a child that destroyed something that Jo poured her heart and time into. Like, it taking Amy nearly dying to get Jo to really forgive her makes perfect sense to me.
Mind you, I'm an only child, so I can only relate to siblings in the abstract, so there's that.
Oh yeah, I totally agree. Also the fact that Amys apology wasn’t really an apology, it was more of a “you hurt me, so I hurt you so I’m justified in what I did. Sorry lol”. I haven’t seen little women but the fact when they were like “oh she apologized so just forgive her” really really angered me
I have an elder brother and nothing, NOTHING could ever be that important to me that I would even dare the thought of letting him die. If anyone with siblings considers that thought, they really need to work on the relationship with their siblings and check their priorities immediately. Would I have been angry in Jo's place? Oh yeah, I would have been furious, but the fact that she almost did that made me really dislike her.
@@rachelanelalanimazzone427 Have you read the books? There is a bit more detail and development to that chapter than just that.
@@doldfamily9983 nope, never seen the movie or read the book. Basing my assumption purely on this video...so how does it play out in the book?
@@rachelanelalanimazzone427 Marmee talked to Amy and made her realise just how unfair it was what she had done to Jo. None of the sisters talked to Amy and she apologised saying,"Please forgive me, Jo. I'm very, very sorry." She doesn't try to defend her actions because she regrets them. And after Jo said that she would never forgive her, Amy felt quite upset and injured that her efforts to make up hadn't been recognised so she became even more determined to reconcile.
Then, obviously she fell into the ice, was saved and Jo felt so ashamed of herself for being responsible for her sister almost dying because of her temper (which shows a bit more in the book) and after this makes more of an effort to control so as to not hurt others.
I adore the idea of Christopher Nolan remaking Little Women. Next up, Guillermo Del Torro remakes The Grinch...
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
- Dylan Thomas
I can’t seem to watch a single episode of you guys without crying.
I’m not one to get overly emotional, especially on the internet, but you guys are really something else.
I’ve recently lost my baby brother, and I’ve been at a loss of how to deal with myself or my feelings. And then I watched your Inside Out video, and I sobbed my eyes out, but I also realized that the way I was handling my grief (by trying to get back to normal and be happy again) was really unhealthy to me, and it led me to become more aggressive and inconsiderate towards the people I care about most. After watching that video, and watching this video, I realize that having feelings of sadness and grief is inevitable, and I can’t drown them out with fake positivity.
Thank you Dr. Jonathan for your amazing and life-altering insights, and thank you as well Mr. Alan, for demonstrating to us the value and normalcy of being emotional, and being in touch with your feelings.
I adore the 1994 version and the 2019 version of Little Women. I also only have sisters and we're very close. I really loved the lighting that contrasted the rosy sunny past, and the blue, muted present.
I read the book when I was 8. I grew up identifying with Jo so much. I cried horribly with this new movie, seeing it in theatres.
Only a monster could watch Laura Dern cry and not cry, too.
I've read and watched Little Women so many times, and I never get tired of it... It's one of the most beautiful, immersing, and relatable stories ever.
It's okay, Alan, Beth's passing gets me every time too. 😭😭😭
I’ve never heard “don’t go to bed angry” but somehow I’ve always subconsciously felt that
This is one of those movies that I loved in the moment, cried in the cinema about - but after I got home and thought, I had a LOT to say criticality about it. Especially how they treated the character of Professor Behr, basically trying to edit a literary work bu inserting a biography of the author which wasn't even particularly accurate. Professor Behr was based heavily on Louisa May Alcott's father, and her parent's group of intellectual friends that Alcott grew up around - and Professor Behr therein represents a legitimately inspirational, supportive, and enriching person in Jo's life - whether or not they should be interpreted romantically. I could go on, but I shalln't - this isn't the place. The film did some things quite well and I found it beautiful at the time of watching since I already knew the story.
Well said on that! Bhaer is such an amazing character in the novel- he’s the only one I think this film didn’t portray well.