It’s that time again.. what do y’all want to hear from me next ?! 🥰 I have videos on: self/life acceptance, productivity, seasonal depression, also my thoughts on the red pill community/dating coming in the new few weeks.. let me know what you’re interested in 🦋
Maybe one on shadow work and it’s correspondence to the people around you?! Example: how we can accept bare minimum in different aspects of our lives esp if we shame ourselves during shadow work
no matter how much u change about yourself it only really comes down to if YOU find yourself pretty/handsome since beauty is subjective and changes for everyone so tryna follow trends like bbl, implants of any kind isnt necessary to be happy :) i love these videos smm and your actually so stunningg
I've never understood these beauty standards. I'm 33, im a UK size 12/14, 5'8. I've never had any enhancements. I get my eyebrows waxed and tinted every 4 weeks and my nails manicured (not nail extensions) every 2 weeks. I work out 3 times a week, don't smoke or do drugs, rarely drink and eat a balanced diet (that includes bread, chocolate and vegetables). I'm not stick thin or overweight. I take care of my skin and I drink 3 litres of water a day and have done for years. I consider myself attractive and I'm told that I am. I will never look like Kim Kardashian and I don't need to. I've always felt like I was enough and I feel extremely sorry for these girls and women trying to emulate this aesthetic because you will never attain it and your self esteem will continue to plummet and you will just be viewed as nothing more than an object by men. I'm low on the narcissism scale however, so I don't feel like anyone is better than me but I really don't understand why people obsess over the fact that they don't have perfect teeth or the fattest ass. Why do you care so much about what other people think of you? Follow some simple beauty tips like mine and I guarantee you will end up in your best (natural) form.
Love this! Unfortunately the reason why many of us care is because of how we’ve been raised, the influences around us, the wounds that we hold, etc. But, I never like to impose limiting beliefs onto people (even myself) when it comes to this realization. Just because we started with low self worth or may have been negatively impacted from social media, etc. doesn’t mean we need to keep that narrative and tell ourselves “this is why I have no self worth, this is why it’s so hard”. Recognizing what got us here in the first place, and changing our beliefs and moving forward in my opinion is the healthiest most healing thing we can do for ourselves. I love your tips!!
@@eliciagoguen Thanks! I understand a lot of it is due to how we're raised. I was raised constantly being told by my Mum and Grandparents that I was pretty and clever (I probably wasn't the prettiest or smartest child, but I know I'm plenty good enough) so yes I'm sure not everyone had my upbringing. The Social Media side of it though, I personally still don't get. I don't care that much about other people (not that I want to harm anyone or anything like that!) I just don't care about their lives that much especially as we all know a lot of it on Instagram is a facade. But yes I do hope others heal, I really do. But its a case of realizing Social Media, Kim Kardashian etc will never go away so I think people should get into the habits of concentrating on themselves more. Really like your channel and hope you continue to grow!!
@@Blondiee777 I think social media is generally an added aspect on top of childhood induced self esteem issues. You're so lucky you were told positive things as a child, it makes such a massive impact on your perspective of the world, yourself and others
@@Llkolii I'm sure. I just wish people could see there is nothing wrong with being average. But it's like we're all supposed to strive to be the very best. I would find that exhausting. Everyone is striving to look the same so they can 'feel' like they belong. So they can 'feel' worthy. And usually the opposite seems to happen.
@@Blondiee777 I definitely agree people should focus on themselves and what works best for their body. My body will never be super stick thin and lithe because that isn’t in my genetics, no matter how fit I am because I am naturally short and curvy. Even at my lowest weight. It was an awful realization after I starved myself down to 100 pounds a year ago. I still didn’t look like these other girls. Now my diet and exercise routine is a lot like yours. I do pilates, weight training, yoga, a bit of running, and lots of walking because these things make me feel good physically and mentally. Discipline is still important to me. I also don’t go crazy obsessive trying to achieve a certain look like I used to. I let my body do what it wants with what I provide for it. Food is also my medicine. Importance is now placed on my mental and spiritual well-being over treating my body like fast fashion.
I am obsessed with tooth gaps. They’re so beautiful. I find it so attractive about people. I had Invisalign to fix mine 13 years ago. My wires broke and I took them out and now all my teeth are shifting and my gaps are back. I feel so cute and unique. I think your teeth gap is so pretty on you.
Embrace the gap, girl. I’ve got one, also. Attempted to close - TWICE. Even with surgery. Bitch came right back. Not saying this will happen to you, whatsoever. My point is, through this, I’ve realize - my gap gives me character. It’s a part of me, and I’ve come to love it - especially, because not everyone can pull something like that off; and I do. You absolutely do, as well, doll. Of course, if you’re set on it - go for it. I, simply, wanted to share my perspective, as One whom has gone through a similar experience. I will admit, my mother wanted it done. I didn’t see an issue, with it, ever. Thankfully, God felt the same.
I love the gap in your teeth, it’s actually really cute like she said. It does give you character, it’s what makes you distinct (as an artist, features like that are really cool). To me, having a gap in your teeth is like a black person having blue or green eyes. My sister has a gap, my absolute baddie of a friend has a gap, and it’s gorgeous.
Thank you for this video. I’ve been struggling with body dysmorphia that drives me to spiraling/ suicidal thoughts since I was a kid. It’s a constant battle. I don’t really go out because I’m anxious of being seen. I’m 21 and learning to love myself is hard in our current world.
Deciding to be enough is probably one of the most powerful things to do. As I get older (early 30s), I see beauty standards come and go, the heroine chic even has it's comeback. Because of that, the need to fit in feels like absolute madness to me. Nowadays treating my body right, giving it the nourishing food, exercises and care it needs is my priority. I want to live a healthy and fulfilled live, talking myself down doesn't help at all 😊
@@Candycloud_19 I do actually! I started lifting weights recently and eating healthy, I feel so happy ever since! I also study, and i am kinda always on the run, but I also take time to wind down at the end of the day. You should accept as the youtuber said: it's OK to not be the prettiest. That's all from my experience
@@Candycloud_19 as Helen said lifting weights is very helpful for your mindset. You may want to track your journey and rather focus on what your body can do rather than on what it looks like. Beautystandarts come and go, being healthy is what matters. Take your time, enjoy the process and most of all: try to avoid comparison. Maybe, if you compare yourself to another woman who might have features you would like to have yourself, try practice thinking "good for them" and remind yourself about things you can do well or features you like about yourself. It's a journey, I wish you all the best 😊
Feeling this✨ I removed my breast implants last week after 20 years of having them.. I removed them because of health issues and was symptomatic for the cancer they cause. So I’m choosing health or vanity and learning to love the natural me ❤
I have heard so many women get rid of their health and autoimmune conditions after removing breast implants. That's when I decided I will never get them
Body dysmorphia is literally engrained in my life 😂 I always to my self that once I get rich I’ll get all the surgery and things because the beauty standards make you really feel inadequate. Also the added beauty standards in the Black community are devastating
“ It was a desperate energy just so I can be accepted RIGHT NOW from people” SPOKE TO MY SOUL. it’s such a toxic way of thinking about yourself and it truly traps you and makes you hate yourself.
I discovered your channel 4 days ago. I listen to your videos everyday while I clean and work out. They’ve literally changed my life as I’m going through a break up right now. Thanks for your wisdom. I’m 26 trying to change to be a more secure woman in my 30s.
Wow! You really worded this perfectly, defintely thoughts I've had to the tee, and it's comforting to hear another woman also worry about "being the prettiest in the room" or "looking our absolute best and trying to fit all the trends", etc, as that has defintely had a toll on me! Thank you for speaking on this. The words are so helpful to hear!
What you're saying is so positive, I love it !!! I used to not get to parties because I couldn't stand not wearing makeup (when I didn't have the time to do my makeup before going out), I used to strive for perfection, even in my relationships. Now I try to think more like you; if my boyfriend doesn't love me for what I look like right now, he can go. Thank you so much, everyone should listen to you ❤✨
Yes to seasonal depression vids! I moved to Toronto 13 years ago and I've still never gotten used to the winter here 😂in fact I feel like my SAD gets WORSE each year lol. Also I'm almost 37 and let me tell you when you stop giving so much of a shit it feels soooooo freeing. If you are this confident and self aware at 27 it's only going to get better from here!! I'm excited for you! 🥰
Thank you so much babe❤ also, I will definitely post a video about this! This week’s podcast episode is also going to be out about seasonal depression I got you!!! Canada winters are truly something else😂
You’re the same age as one of my daughters but I go through the same stuff. Women I know post super filtered photos on Facebook and pose a ton and I accidentally compare myself to these pics. I am really enjoying your content so much - thank you for being so real
ily ur giving me the big sister advice I’ve always needed I constantly feel like there are some days I can’t even leave the house because I’m so deeply insecure all because my hair is too puffy or my outfit isn’t perfect and I’m learning now at 22 that at some point I need to just learn that it’s ok to not be the prettiest or have my aesthetic perfected every time I leave the house bc it’s just a huge waste of time and hindering me from fully just enjoying my life. for once instead of going down the ED route as I always did in my teenage years I’m focusing on exercising when I feel like it and eating good food to nourish my body. it’s hard but I’m getting there and I’ve made a lot of progress since when I was depressed in my teens :’)
This video is a breath of fresh, clean air. So genuine and raw and relatable. I love how positive your channel is for young women trying to find their place in this world.
Such an important conversation to have. Embarrassing to admit but I used to be very insecure in my early 20’s, it wasn’t until I deactivated IG for a couple of years & just started facing some realities that my opinion of myself changed. Sometimes I still have low self esteem but it’s not as bad as before. But I know what you mean, veneers, breast augmentations, & BBL’s seem so beautiful but it’s perfectly okay if we don’t get it. Self love truly is a journey & we have to learn to embrace it. ❤
Oh my gosh, I actually had to look up BBL... Showing my age maybe? If I started with the plastic surgery, it just would be never ending. When I was in my twenties it seemed to matter a little. Now I'm grateful it's not me who's concerned over that.
I'm grateful for your vulnerability in sharing your own insecurities, because like you said...I look at you and other women and I would easily say, she looks great, she doesn't "need to fix" anything. We can get stuck inside of our heads and conversations like these help reveal that we're all more alike than we think. I used to believe I couldn't be happy until I "fixed" certain things and would even make LISTS of what those things were, until I realized i was wasting too much time "waiting" to be "perfect" so I could be happy.
I resonate with that so much. I did many plastic surgeries and cosmetic procedures on my face, I was wearing heavy makeup and using filters. And still felt like not even enough. And I should start with loving and appreciating myself
I’m happy I’m at a place where I truly accept myself. I barely wear make up and don’t follow trends. I think after having my son it truly changed my outlook on life
I believe it also depends on a person's upbringing. For example, If you grew up in a family that emphasizes on looks versus self love and mannerisms. It definitely alters ones self esteem. We live in a society ( especially in the U.S) were we're told the standard of beauty is a particular group of women. I personally relocated from Upstate N.Y to Atlanta Ga and gained confidence, charisma and overall a different perspective of life. I saw more people (that look like me) that changed my thoughts on beauty. Black women in Atlanta heightened my excitement to accentuate my natural beauty. It was a great experience that I will forever be grateful for. If you can, go where you are appreciated instead of where you are tolerated. Self Love is amazing ❤️
What you're doing for the world is great. This mindset you're sharing will inspire more women to adopt the same mindset and eventually natural beauty will be the norm again.
i feel you so much about wanting to be the prettiest girl in the room. growing up i had TERRIBLE self esteem and self confidence. i think it all stems from my older sister bullying me when i was extremely young. telling me i was ugly. telling me i had no friends. when i just started developing a self of self worth and self love, that is what i was being told everyday. so no wonder i had terrible issues. then it course dating when i was going my bf would know this and know my insecurities and when we would fight, they would pray on them. smh. therapy and just growing up has helped me realize it’s ok not about being the prettiest girl in every room. bc we AND then can BOTH be pretty in this room here together. it’s not a competition 🫶🏼 i swear when i was younger i used to see my ex staring at another pretty girl, i would get soooo upset and insecure. it was so unhealthy! now i could sit here and admire someone’s beauty with my significant other! never thought that day would come ❤ love your channel btw! definitely subbed and turned in that bell 🔔😉🥰 keep being beautiful and amazing love bug 🐛!!!
I loved this video so much! 💕 Sometimes I have to remind myself to take time to just be grateful I have a working and functioning body and it's okay to have insecurities but not dwell on them. I think as a society we can at times be so judgmental and nitpicky when it comes to aesthetics. Thank you for being so open and honest about your insecurities it's inspired me to love myself a little more 😊
Words! This is so true about beauty strands and I’m sick of this. Pressure with social media makes us miserable and not good enough. Pictures you see on internet is fake which some is photoshopped and just be kind to yourself. You are beautiful and fuck social media
This has to be one of the most amazing videos I’ve watched. I struggle with literally everything you mentioned. Especially the part of struggling with not being the prettiest in the room. I know I’m not and it always bothered me. And I’ve never heard that talked about in a video. All of what you said helped me so much and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Your story is so relatable! I've always felt like I should be smaller, even when my body fits the current beauty standards. And I always think men want short and skinny girls because they are the cutest, maybe because I've been to subcultures where that was the ideal. I should fix my attitude and work with what I have since it's not bad either. Thank you so much for this video, it opened my mind a little!!
Babe, you look so comfortable and peaceful in your own skin and I love watching you speak about this important stuff❤ you look amazing and you are amazing
Your big doe eyes were the first thing i noticed about you and that skin. your gorgeous. I fully relate to your video, we all need to seek validation from GOD. no one else can give us that! stay blessed x
❤️ this video. I completely understand what you are saying and You definitely remind me of me a few years ago. But growing up ugly I well enough knew there were thousands of women that look better than me, and it took me a while to finally accept it and its fine to me. I do everything in my power to look the best version of myself and that's all that anyone can do. 😊
It's such a tough topic to discuss,but I'm glad you did.can totally relate to when you said we don't need to be perfect for an relationship is so uplifting.keep posting such needed stuf💗
It is so true.. beauty is subjective. For example, I think you have the prettiest smile I've ever seen and I would NEVER get rid of your gap because it's just so cute!
this is the best video i’ve ever seen on this topic! i’ve always struggled extremely hard with this & omg this video literally made me cry because it so true
Im 30 and ive been like that alllll my life since childhood… i finally this year at 30 decided enough is enough and i am enough and i am deserving of a great guy cuz i have a lot to offer even if im not perfect
I’m sure you don’t really care, but when I first started watching your videos I was like “ugh why does she annoy me like who does she think she is” then it turned to “damn she’s speaking facts and she kinda glowin ngl,” and that’s when I realized you were triggering me (in a good way), and nOW I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!!!!!!!! 🤍🙌🏼
Am also from Toronto and struggled/always struggling with standards and the culture here which sometimes feels like its mostly about being 'seen' and little to do with how you actually are/feel. I appreciate you sharing your wisdom/info and am grateful to have found your channel :)
Have just stumbled across your channel and am binge watching your content. You deserve so many more followers for the quality you're putting out - every video has resonated so much, it's like you're going through exactly what I'm going through! Thank you for this !
You’re so gorgeous, I think you’re perfect as you. The gap on your teeth, one of THE cutest things about you!❤💛💛❤ But you’re totally right, beauty standards can do a lot to harm a person’s (particularly women) confidence. I’ve always sought to complement and appreciate a woman based on how the real her is coming off, even through the makeup. I never wanna complement somebody who’s trying to hide behind the makeup, as opposed to accentuating her features 😊. I think women seeking to look like perfection is when healthy feminine energy turns into wounded feminine energy. It’s equivalent to when men want to feel like warriors, yes that has its own glory and power but the men is almost always badly scarred or suffering from disability. People who teach self love really help those who feel pressured or insecure. I love that your help is anecdotal, makes everyone feel like we’re enough as just human 😊❤
I know a man who paid for his wife to get her entire body done… and yet a year later they are no longer together.. she did it for him and he wanted her to do it… smh… mind you this woman was hitting 50
I wish more youtubers like you existed. Thanks for your great videos, I can relate to a lot of them. And you look gorgeous by the way, I wouldn't change anything If I had your body.
I’m so happy you made this video☺️🥹 as a young 22 year old, I have found it hard not to fall into pressure to be perfect and I’m definitely trying to become more closer to my natural state and natural beauty.
I absolutely love this video. My biggest insecurity is my skin. Now thanks to your advice i will work on myself and love myself as i am 💖 thank you for those awesome advice.
My boyfriend has little gaps between his teeth, and I find his smile beautiful, but he hates it. On the other hand, my jaw is small so my teeth are a little bit tight on each other, yet he finds them perfect. It's so endearing and shows that people love so many different things
Sometimes idk when. I'm trying heal from years of sexual and physical abuse that left me physically disabled and with complex PTSD, Body Dysmorphic Disorder and other stuff.
I was diagnosed with Lupus this year and I have to take steroids everyday as a part of my medication. The side effect of it on my body is pretty rough. I put a lot of weight. I get hungry a lot. I have to constantly eat, lest I would feel really horrible. My face is so bloated and my whole body is grazed with stretch marks. I've always been insecure about my looks and I hated myself more since then. I still struggle with acceptance even right now. Maybe, it will take years for me to be able to get over it, maybe I won't get over it at all, and when people call me out that I'm getting fatter now, I just feel like crying every time. But one thing that put things into perspective for me through it all is that, I really was considering stopping taking steroids and going against my doctor just because I hated the way I look because of it. Thank God, the realization immediately struck me in the face. I was like, really? Would I want to sacrifice my health just to because I want to fit into a certain standard of beauty? Of having thin face and sharp cheekbones, and slimmer body and untainted skin? Not to be dramatic, but my organs could literally shut down without the meds. I could probably just die if I stopped taking it, and yet here I am worrying about the way I look or whether I'm pretty enough, or whether people will find me ugly that I have a really fat cheeks. It is so ridiculous that I have to take a step back and really evaluate it all. So, here it is. I still miss my old body. I grieve and mourn for it, but I don't have to hate the "new" one that I have now. It is still mine no matter if it changes or it remains. I will still have to take care. I will still have to love it. It's mine and mine alone. Thank you for this video. Like you say, I don't have to look perfect. Like what even is perfect anyway? Who has the authority to define that?
Aw so sorry to hear this. I’m sure you are so beautiful! my cousin lost her battle to Lupus so I know first hand how much it has an effect on you. Your health and happiness is so much more important than beauty standard
The beauty standard keeps changing. When I was in HS in the late 90-early 2000s, super skinny was in. I always had a butt and curves....then came Kim K, and all of a sudden, I was on trend. If you follow all of the beauty trends of today, you'll have to keep changing yourself to keep up. And honestly, most ppl don't notice or care as much as we do about these things.
I love your channel I’ve been watching every video you put out you remind me of that actress Audrey you even talk like her but I just wanted to say I really like your personality & what you have to say about a lot of things keep up the good work
Something I've been wrestling with, not sure if anyone can answer this... I am trying to love myself and believe I am enough, but am I also supposed to "improve" myself if I want to attract someone if the way I am and the way I look hasn't attracted anyone in my adult life ? I can't work out where the line is. Is it wrong to ask to be loved as I am or do I have to lose weight and do the things like hair and make up that men find attractive. I'm confused. Thanks
As someone who has really bad anxiety, being the prettiest In the room was never the goal for me . I hate having that attention so I honestly don’t care when that attention is on another girl
thank you so much for making this video im a trans women and sometimes i struggle with the fact that i dont have boobs and that my voice is so masculine. this video really helps!
I think getting surgery can be very problematic because you can get stuck in this cycle where you can improve something more. I really like keke’s response to people calling her ugly she said “makeup isn’t real” I loved that because it’s true. I also am going thru the stage where I hate myself but I never had a problem with myself until others pointed out things then I thought oh damn I’m not good enough now it’s a daily struggle. I compare myself a lot and now what people have said I believe it. So sad I know. TikTok triggers me so much to a point where I May delete it. I feel like I’ll never get over this I hope I do tho. Do you have any advice? Pretty sure I have face and body dysphoria
Hello, thank you for sharing everything about your life journey and everything you have learned, I am grateful to have found your channel, I wanted to ask you if you studied at the university and how did you manage to be independent, I am now in a moment that I realized that I don't want to go to university, even and I'm looking at what to do with my life, and well, that feeling that others already have their lives figured out or that they are studying... thanks for everything you do, greetings from Colombia💗🇨🇴
Self modification does not equate to self hate. Two things can be true at once. One can love themselves and simply want to enhance what they love. I think some of this could be coming from projection cause not every woman does it for attention.
When did I say every woman is coming from a place of self hate? In no way is this video “projection” if you listened to the words that I was saying instead of assuming I was making an issue about self modification. I’m also not here to try and convince anyone who is interested in self modification that they don’t love them selves.
I’m 22 y/o and I’ve got small boobs ,always been insecure about it cause most guys prefer big ones and even many girls make comment on it too it makes me hate my body
Screw them. Honestly. Also, although it might be your experience, it’s good to remind yourself that you can absolutely change the narrative that you tell yourself, regarding men who “usually like big boobs..” There are so many men that I have met that prefer smaller boobs, please trust me on that!
It’s that time again.. what do y’all want to hear from me next ?! 🥰 I have videos on: self/life acceptance, productivity, seasonal depression, also my thoughts on the red pill community/dating coming in the new few weeks.. let me know what you’re interested in 🦋
Approval, external validation v/s internal validation, self-talk and lack mindset v/s abundance mindset 💕
do videos about dating and self acceptance ❤
All of the above please, if you have time. I love your channel and the messages that you're sharing. Thanks girl!!!
Maybe one on shadow work and it’s correspondence to the people around you?! Example: how we can accept bare minimum in different aspects of our lives esp if we shame ourselves during shadow work
I think your gap is pretty & makes you, you. I’m over seeing the same look, everyone looks the same
no matter how much u change about yourself it only really comes down to if YOU find yourself pretty/handsome since beauty is subjective and changes for everyone so tryna follow trends like bbl, implants of any kind isnt necessary to be happy :) i love these videos smm and your actually so stunningg
Yes yes yes!!!!❤️
Exactly
Beauty standards tend to be unrealistic. We appreciate your insights on this. We look forward to more.
I've never understood these beauty standards. I'm 33, im a UK size 12/14, 5'8. I've never had any enhancements. I get my eyebrows waxed and tinted every 4 weeks and my nails manicured (not nail extensions) every 2 weeks. I work out 3 times a week, don't smoke or do drugs, rarely drink and eat a balanced diet (that includes bread, chocolate and vegetables). I'm not stick thin or overweight. I take care of my skin and I drink 3 litres of water a day and have done for years. I consider myself attractive and I'm told that I am.
I will never look like Kim Kardashian and I don't need to. I've always felt like I was enough and I feel extremely sorry for these girls and women trying to emulate this aesthetic because you will never attain it and your self esteem will continue to plummet and you will just be viewed as nothing more than an object by men.
I'm low on the narcissism scale however, so I don't feel like anyone is better than me but I really don't understand why people obsess over the fact that they don't have perfect teeth or the fattest ass. Why do you care so much about what other people think of you?
Follow some simple beauty tips like mine and I guarantee you will end up in your best (natural) form.
Love this! Unfortunately the reason why many of us care is because of how we’ve been raised, the influences around us, the wounds that we hold, etc. But, I never like to impose limiting beliefs onto people (even myself) when it comes to this realization. Just because we started with low self worth or may have been negatively impacted from social media, etc. doesn’t mean we need to keep that narrative and tell ourselves “this is why I have no self worth, this is why it’s so hard”. Recognizing what got us here in the first place, and changing our beliefs and moving forward in my opinion is the healthiest most healing thing we can do for ourselves. I love your tips!!
@@eliciagoguen Thanks! I understand a lot of it is due to how we're raised. I was raised constantly being told by my Mum and Grandparents that I was pretty and clever (I probably wasn't the prettiest or smartest child, but I know I'm plenty good enough) so yes I'm sure not everyone had my upbringing.
The Social Media side of it though, I personally still don't get. I don't care that much about other people (not that I want to harm anyone or anything like that!) I just don't care about their lives that much especially as we all know a lot of it on Instagram is a facade.
But yes I do hope others heal, I really do. But its a case of realizing Social Media, Kim Kardashian etc will never go away so I think people should get into the habits of concentrating on themselves more. Really like your channel and hope you continue to grow!!
@@Blondiee777 I think social media is generally an added aspect on top of childhood induced self esteem issues. You're so lucky you were told positive things as a child, it makes such a massive impact on your perspective of the world, yourself and others
@@Llkolii I'm sure. I just wish people could see there is nothing wrong with being average. But it's like we're all supposed to strive to be the very best. I would find that exhausting. Everyone is striving to look the same so they can 'feel' like they belong. So they can 'feel' worthy. And usually the opposite seems to happen.
@@Blondiee777 I definitely agree people should focus on themselves and what works best for their body. My body will never be super stick thin and lithe because that isn’t in my genetics, no matter how fit I am because I am naturally short and curvy. Even at my lowest weight. It was an awful realization after I starved myself down to 100 pounds a year ago. I still didn’t look like these other girls. Now my diet and exercise routine is a lot like yours. I do pilates, weight training, yoga, a bit of running, and lots of walking because these things make me feel good physically and mentally. Discipline is still important to me. I also don’t go crazy obsessive trying to achieve a certain look like I used to. I let my body do what it wants with what I provide for it. Food is also my medicine. Importance is now placed on my mental and spiritual well-being over treating my body like fast fashion.
I am obsessed with tooth gaps. They’re so beautiful. I find it so attractive about people. I had Invisalign to fix mine 13 years ago. My wires broke and I took them out and now all my teeth are shifting and my gaps are back. I feel so cute and unique. I think your teeth gap is so pretty on you.
This makes my heart so warm 🥺
Embrace the gap, girl.
I’ve got one, also. Attempted to close - TWICE. Even with surgery.
Bitch came right back.
Not saying this will happen to you, whatsoever.
My point is, through this, I’ve realize - my gap gives me character. It’s a part of me, and I’ve come to love it - especially, because not everyone can pull something like that off; and I do.
You absolutely do, as well, doll.
Of course, if you’re set on it - go for it.
I, simply, wanted to share my perspective, as One whom has gone through a similar experience.
I will admit, my mother wanted it done.
I didn’t see an issue, with it, ever.
Thankfully, God felt the same.
Wow this is beautiful 🥺❤️❤️
I love the gap in your teeth, it’s actually really cute like she said. It does give you character, it’s what makes you distinct (as an artist, features like that are really cool). To me, having a gap in your teeth is like a black person having blue or green eyes. My sister has a gap, my absolute baddie of a friend has a gap, and it’s gorgeous.
I love this! It took me so long to realize how beautiful my gap is
Thank you for this video. I’ve been struggling with body dysmorphia that drives me to spiraling/ suicidal thoughts since I was a kid. It’s a constant battle. I don’t really go out because I’m anxious of being seen. I’m 21 and learning to love myself is hard in our current world.
sending you so much love 🥺❤️ you got this ❤️
Same here :(
Deciding to be enough is probably one of the most powerful things to do. As I get older (early 30s), I see beauty standards come and go, the heroine chic even has it's comeback. Because of that, the need to fit in feels like absolute madness to me. Nowadays treating my body right, giving it the nourishing food, exercises and care it needs is my priority. I want to live a healthy and fulfilled live, talking myself down doesn't help at all 😊
I’m 19 and I struggle to love how I look do you have any tips to love and accept my self ?
@@Candycloud_19 I do actually! I started lifting weights recently and eating healthy, I feel so happy ever since! I also study, and i am kinda always on the run, but I also take time to wind down at the end of the day. You should accept as the youtuber said: it's OK to not be the prettiest. That's all from my experience
@@Candycloud_19 as Helen said lifting weights is very helpful for your mindset. You may want to track your journey and rather focus on what your body can do rather than on what it looks like. Beautystandarts come and go, being healthy is what matters. Take your time, enjoy the process and most of all: try to avoid comparison. Maybe, if you compare yourself to another woman who might have features you would like to have yourself, try practice thinking "good for them" and remind yourself about things you can do well or features you like about yourself. It's a journey, I wish you all the best 😊
Feeling this✨ I removed my breast implants last week after 20 years of having them.. I removed them because of health issues and was symptomatic for the cancer they cause. So I’m choosing health or vanity and learning to love the natural me ❤
this is really scary because even with all the bad things surrounding implants, i still really want them…
i’m glad you chose what works best for your body!💜
I have heard so many women get rid of their health and autoimmune conditions after removing breast implants. That's when I decided I will never get them
God bless you 🙏🏽 ❤️
your videos help me so much and genuinely bring me comfort. keep shining your knowledge on the world 🤎🤎
10:46 “Love yourself THROUGH everything” whew I felt that ♥️💚
Body dysmorphia is literally engrained in my life 😂 I always to my self that once I get rich I’ll get all the surgery and things because the beauty standards make you really feel inadequate. Also the added beauty standards in the Black community are devastating
“ It was a desperate energy just so I can be accepted RIGHT NOW from people” SPOKE TO MY SOUL. it’s such a toxic way of thinking about yourself and it truly traps you and makes you hate yourself.
I discovered your channel 4 days ago. I listen to your videos everyday while
I clean and work out. They’ve literally changed my life as I’m going through a break up right now. Thanks for your wisdom. I’m 26 trying to change to be a more secure woman in my 30s.
Omg my heart ❤️ I’m so happy that I’m able to help you on your journey and that you enjoy my content enough to play as you clean and work 🥰
Wow! You really worded this perfectly, defintely thoughts I've had to the tee, and it's comforting to hear another woman also worry about "being the prettiest in the room" or "looking our absolute best and trying to fit all the trends", etc, as that has defintely had a toll on me! Thank you for speaking on this. The words are so helpful to hear!
Thank you so much for watching and letting me know that you can relate!!!! 🥹❤️
What you're saying is so positive, I love it !!! I used to not get to parties because I couldn't stand not wearing makeup (when I didn't have the time to do my makeup before going out), I used to strive for perfection, even in my relationships. Now I try to think more like you; if my boyfriend doesn't love me for what I look like right now, he can go. Thank you so much, everyone should listen to you ❤✨
I love this so much 🥰❤️
Yes to seasonal depression vids! I moved to Toronto 13 years ago and I've still never gotten used to the winter here 😂in fact I feel like my SAD gets WORSE each year lol.
Also I'm almost 37 and let me tell you when you stop giving so much of a shit it feels soooooo freeing. If you are this confident and self aware at 27 it's only going to get better from here!! I'm excited for you! 🥰
Thank you so much babe❤ also, I will definitely post a video about this! This week’s podcast episode is also going to be out about seasonal depression I got you!!! Canada winters are truly something else😂
You’re the same age as one of my daughters but I go through the same stuff. Women I know post super filtered photos on Facebook and pose a ton and I accidentally compare myself to these pics.
I am really enjoying your content so much - thank you for being so real
Aw you are so welcome 🥰
ily ur giving me the big sister advice I’ve always needed I constantly feel like there are some days I can’t even leave the house because I’m so deeply insecure all because my hair is too puffy or my outfit isn’t perfect and I’m learning now at 22 that at some point I need to just learn that it’s ok to not be the prettiest or have my aesthetic perfected every time I leave the house bc it’s just a huge waste of time and hindering me from fully just enjoying my life. for once instead of going down the ED route as I always did in my teenage years I’m focusing on exercising when I feel like it and eating good food to nourish my body. it’s hard but I’m getting there and I’ve made a lot of progress since when I was depressed in my teens :’)
I’m so proud of you ❤️
This video is a breath of fresh, clean air. So genuine and raw and relatable. I love how positive your channel is for young women trying to find their place in this world.
Thank you so much!! ❤️
Such an important conversation to have. Embarrassing to admit but I used to be very insecure in my early 20’s, it wasn’t until I deactivated IG for a couple of years & just started facing some realities that my opinion of myself changed. Sometimes I still have low self esteem but it’s not as bad as before. But I know what you mean, veneers, breast augmentations, & BBL’s seem so beautiful but it’s perfectly okay if we don’t get it. Self love truly is a journey & we have to learn to embrace it. ❤
Oh my gosh, I actually had to look up BBL... Showing my age maybe? If I started with the plastic surgery, it just would be never ending. When I was in my twenties it seemed to matter a little. Now I'm grateful it's not me who's concerned over that.
I'm grateful for your vulnerability in sharing your own insecurities, because like you said...I look at you and other women and I would easily say, she looks great, she doesn't "need to fix" anything. We can get stuck inside of our heads and conversations like these help reveal that we're all more alike than we think. I used to believe I couldn't be happy until I "fixed" certain things and would even make LISTS of what those things were, until I realized i was wasting too much time "waiting" to be "perfect" so I could be happy.
I resonate with that so much. I did many plastic surgeries and cosmetic procedures on my face, I was wearing heavy makeup and using filters. And still felt like not even enough. And I should start with loving and appreciating myself
I'm never enough, that's why I purposefully make mistakes and never take accountability
just because there’s someone else beautifullll doesn’t mean your not😢 a sunset and moon night look nothing alike but are both so beautiful
I’m happy I’m at a place where I truly accept myself. I barely wear make up and don’t follow trends. I think after having my son it truly changed my outlook on life
I believe it also depends on a person's upbringing. For example, If you grew up in a family that emphasizes on looks versus self love and mannerisms. It definitely alters ones self esteem.
We live in a society ( especially in the U.S) were we're told the standard of beauty is a particular group of women.
I personally relocated from Upstate N.Y to Atlanta Ga and gained confidence, charisma and overall a different perspective of life. I saw more people (that look like me) that changed my thoughts on beauty.
Black women in Atlanta heightened my excitement to accentuate my natural beauty. It was a great experience that I will forever be grateful for.
If you can, go where you are appreciated instead of where you are tolerated.
Self Love is amazing ❤️
What you're doing for the world is great. This mindset you're sharing will inspire more women to adopt the same mindset and eventually natural beauty will be the norm again.
It’s always the beautiful ones that pick on themselves.
😍
🥺🥺
i feel you so much about wanting to be the prettiest girl in the room. growing up i had TERRIBLE self esteem and self confidence. i think it all stems from my older sister bullying me when i was extremely young. telling me i was ugly. telling me i had no friends. when i just started developing a self of self worth and self love, that is what i was being told everyday. so no wonder i had terrible issues. then it course dating when i was going my bf would know this and know my insecurities and when we would fight, they would pray on them. smh. therapy and just growing up has helped me realize it’s ok not about being the prettiest girl in every room. bc we AND then can BOTH be pretty in this room here together. it’s not a competition 🫶🏼
i swear when i was younger i used to see my ex staring at another pretty girl, i would get soooo upset and insecure. it was so unhealthy! now i could sit here and admire someone’s beauty with my significant other! never thought that day would come ❤ love your channel btw! definitely subbed and turned in that bell 🔔😉🥰 keep being beautiful and amazing love bug 🐛!!!
I’m so proud of you 🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️
I loved this video so much! 💕 Sometimes I have to remind myself to take time to just be grateful I have a working and functioning body and it's okay to have insecurities but not dwell on them. I think as a society we can at times be so judgmental and nitpicky when it comes to aesthetics. Thank you for being so open and honest about your insecurities it's inspired me to love myself a little more 😊
Yes omg love this ❤️
Love that ppl are realizing that they don't want to look like everyone else
i’m here before she blows up and becomes a household name. this channel deserves more recognition!!!
You are the best 🥹❤️
This video helped me soo much, i could identify with everything that u said, really thank u ❤
Your videos have been getting me through it don’t stop ever !!! Much love 💗
I won’t 🥰❤️❤️
Words! This is so true about beauty strands and I’m sick of this. Pressure with social media makes us miserable and not good enough. Pictures you see on internet is fake which some is photoshopped and just be kind to yourself. You are beautiful and fuck social media
This has to be one of the most amazing videos I’ve watched. I struggle with literally everything you mentioned. Especially the part of struggling with not being the prettiest in the room. I know I’m not and it always bothered me. And I’ve never heard that talked about in a video. All of what you said helped me so much and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
You’re so welcome 🥹
Thank you so much for creating these videos, they bring a lot of peace and help on my healing journey 💞
You’re so so so welcome ❤️
Wow ! 🌸 I wish my insecure and completly overwhelmed 15 year old me could here you - Love ur channel and I am soo happy I found it 💝
Awww 🥰 so glad you’re here ❤️
Your story is so relatable! I've always felt like I should be smaller, even when my body fits the current beauty standards. And I always think men want short and skinny girls because they are the cutest, maybe because I've been to subcultures where that was the ideal. I should fix my attitude and work with what I have since it's not bad either. Thank you so much for this video, it opened my mind a little!!
I’m proud of you ❤️
Babe, you look so comfortable and peaceful in your own skin and I love watching you speak about this important stuff❤ you look amazing and you are amazing
I love you SO MUCH omg 🥺❤️
omg we think the exact same !! i’m so shocked no one has ever said they feel the same way , thanks for this ❤❤❤
Your big doe eyes were the first thing i noticed about you and that skin. your gorgeous. I fully relate to your video, we all need to seek validation from GOD. no one else can give us that! stay blessed x
❤️ this video. I completely understand what you are saying and You definitely remind me of me a few years ago. But growing up ugly I well enough knew there were thousands of women that look better than me, and it took me a while to finally accept it and its fine to me. I do everything in my power to look the best version of myself and that's all that anyone can do. 😊
It's such a tough topic to discuss,but I'm glad you did.can totally relate to when you said we don't need to be perfect for an relationship is so uplifting.keep posting such needed stuf💗
It is so true.. beauty is subjective. For example, I think you have the prettiest smile I've ever seen and I would NEVER get rid of your gap because it's just so cute!
AWWW thank you so much Omg 🥹
I’m 35 and exactly! This whole video is so spot on!
this is the best video i’ve ever seen on this topic! i’ve always struggled extremely hard with this & omg this video literally made me cry because it so true
Awww omg 🥹
Im 30 and ive been like that alllll my life since childhood… i finally this year at 30 decided enough is enough and i am enough and i am deserving of a great guy cuz i have a lot to offer even if im not perfect
You should do what makes you the happiest but I think your gap is super cute! You’re so pretty and the slight “imperfection” gives your face character
As a side note too: you are absolutely stunning, I find the teeth gap very cute and unique 🥰 you could honestly become a model
Aww thank you so much!!!
@@eliciagoguen my pleasure, keep shining beautiful 🌹
I’m sure you don’t really care, but when I first started watching your videos I was like “ugh why does she annoy me like who does she think she is” then it turned to “damn she’s speaking facts and she kinda glowin ngl,” and that’s when I realized you were triggering me (in a good way), and nOW I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!!!!!!!! 🤍🙌🏼
Haha omg! I’ve definitely had many experiences with this same process and got real with myself and the shadows I was holding..
Am also from Toronto and struggled/always struggling with standards and the culture here which sometimes feels like its mostly about being 'seen' and little to do with how you actually are/feel. I appreciate you sharing your wisdom/info and am grateful to have found your channel :)
Thank you so much for watching and I love that you’re from Toronto 😍
Have just stumbled across your channel and am binge watching your content. You deserve so many more followers for the quality you're putting out - every video has resonated so much, it's like you're going through exactly what I'm going through! Thank you for this !
Awww I really appreciate this support 🥰❤️
Preach girl!! I’ve been obsessed your content!! This video was exactly what I needed to hear today 💕
Thank you so much for watching🥰🥰
8:34 honestly it’s beautiful and i think you should keep it
your channel is such a safe space. i really needed this video. thank you for doing what you do ❤
You’re so gorgeous, I think you’re perfect as you. The gap on your teeth, one of THE cutest things about you!❤💛💛❤
But you’re totally right, beauty standards can do a lot to harm a person’s (particularly women) confidence.
I’ve always sought to complement and appreciate a woman based on how the real her is coming off, even through the makeup. I never wanna complement somebody who’s trying to hide behind the makeup, as opposed to accentuating her features 😊. I think women seeking to look like perfection is when healthy feminine energy turns into wounded feminine energy. It’s equivalent to when men want to feel like warriors, yes that has its own glory and power but the men is almost always badly scarred or suffering from disability.
People who teach self love really help those who feel pressured or insecure. I love that your help is anecdotal, makes everyone feel like we’re enough as just human 😊❤
You are amazing!!!!!!❤️
@@eliciagoguen ty, but truly it’s you 🥹🙏🏾
Big sister energy ❤ recently subscribed to your channel and LOVE what you have to say and so confidently 👏xx
Thank you for reminding me to be gentle with myself. Looking forward to seeing more body positivity/self-love content on your page soon! God bless😊💕
I know a man who paid for his wife to get her entire body done… and yet a year later they are no longer together.. she did it for him and he wanted her to do it… smh… mind you this woman was hitting 50
Omg yup! I’ve heard many stories.. some women unfortunately passed away under the knife because of this.. tragic 🥺
The assurance u give makes my day🤗
I wish more youtubers like you existed. Thanks for your great videos, I can relate to a lot of them. And you look gorgeous by the way, I wouldn't change anything If I had your body.
Aw thank you SO much 🥺❤️
Girl no way you wanna close your gap it’s literally so cute 🥺
Please make more videos like this! I relate to every word you said. Thank u so much for this
I’m so happy you made this video☺️🥹 as a young 22 year old, I have found it hard not to fall into pressure to be perfect and I’m definitely trying to become more closer to my natural state and natural beauty.
I’m proud of you ❤️❤️
I struggled with this until I was 28. Honestly it was so hard but I finally fell in love with myself
I can relate to you in so many ways. Wow. Thank you for this video!
I always thought the little gap in your teeth is very cute. Goes to show how sometimes what we don't like someone else really does ♡
I absolutely love this video. My biggest insecurity is my skin. Now thanks to your advice i will work on myself and love myself as i am 💖 thank you for those awesome advice.
Sending you sooo much love 🥹❤️
I have to say this. You are amazingly beautiful. You should not change anything about yourself. Perfection
Thank you so much🥺
I can rely so much with this video! 🥺. Thank you
Girl we need more mentors like you!
Thank you so much for this video, I needed to hear this so bad :(
Love your videos! 💜 I’m learning to love myself day by day.
I love this 🥰
Hi am from 🇪🇹Ethiopia u changed the way l think that helped me alot 💕💕
I’m so glad ❤️❤️❤️
My boyfriend has little gaps between his teeth, and I find his smile beautiful, but he hates it. On the other hand, my jaw is small so my teeth are a little bit tight on each other, yet he finds them perfect. It's so endearing and shows that people love so many different things
i love you, oprah
Sometimes idk when. I'm trying heal from years of sexual and physical abuse that left me physically disabled and with complex PTSD, Body Dysmorphic Disorder and other stuff.
I looooove your tooth gap I think it suits u so much I think it looks so prettyyyy😭😭😭
Awww thank you 🥹❤️❤️
I was diagnosed with Lupus this year and I have to take steroids everyday as a part of my medication. The side effect of it on my body is pretty rough. I put a lot of weight. I get hungry a lot. I have to constantly eat, lest I would feel really horrible. My face is so bloated and my whole body is grazed with stretch marks.
I've always been insecure about my looks and I hated myself more since then. I still struggle with acceptance even right now. Maybe, it will take years for me to be able to get over it, maybe I won't get over it at all, and when people call me out that I'm getting fatter now, I just feel like crying every time.
But one thing that put things into perspective for me through it all is that, I really was considering stopping taking steroids and going against my doctor just because I hated the way I look because of it.
Thank God, the realization immediately struck me in the face. I was like, really? Would I want to sacrifice my health just to because I want to fit into a certain standard of beauty? Of having thin face and sharp cheekbones, and slimmer body and untainted skin? Not to be dramatic, but my organs could literally shut down without the meds. I could probably just die if I stopped taking it, and yet here I am worrying about the way I look or whether I'm pretty enough, or whether people will find me ugly that I have a really fat cheeks. It is so ridiculous that I have to take a step back and really evaluate it all.
So, here it is. I still miss my old body. I grieve and mourn for it, but I don't have to hate the "new" one that I have now. It is still mine no matter if it changes or it remains. I will still have to take care. I will still have to love it. It's mine and mine alone.
Thank you for this video. Like you say, I don't have to look perfect. Like what even is perfect anyway? Who has the authority to define that?
Aw so sorry to hear this. I’m sure you are so beautiful! my cousin lost her battle to Lupus so I know first hand how much it has an effect on you. Your health and happiness is so much more important than beauty standard
I really need this video, thank you!
The beauty standard keeps changing. When I was in HS in the late 90-early 2000s, super skinny was in. I always had a butt and curves....then came Kim K, and all of a sudden, I was on trend.
If you follow all of the beauty trends of today, you'll have to keep changing yourself to keep up. And honestly, most ppl don't notice or care as much as we do about these things.
They don’t change in the black and Latin community tho
I love your channel I’ve been watching every video you put out you remind me of that actress Audrey you even talk like her but I just wanted to say I really like your personality & what you have to say about a lot of things keep up the good work
Well, thank you so much🥰🥰
Something I've been wrestling with, not sure if anyone can answer this... I am trying to love myself and believe I am enough, but am I also supposed to "improve" myself if I want to attract someone if the way I am and the way I look hasn't attracted anyone in my adult life ? I can't work out where the line is. Is it wrong to ask to be loved as I am or do I have to lose weight and do the things like hair and make up that men find attractive. I'm confused. Thanks
As someone who has really bad anxiety, being the prettiest In the room was never the goal for me . I hate having that attention so I honestly don’t care when that attention is on another girl
Your video is so helpful! Thank you
You're beautiful! You honestly resemble Jordyn Woods! I always thought she was so naturally pretty!
Thank you so much 🥹
Really needed this today💗
thank you so much for making this video im a trans women and sometimes i struggle with the fact that i dont have boobs and that my voice is so masculine. this video really helps!
I’m glad this video helped you ❤️
You are the best thank you for this video 🥺❤️
You’re welcome 😊
Thank you for your videos that are really motivating
You are so welcome!
I think getting surgery can be very problematic because you can get stuck in this cycle where you can improve something more. I really like keke’s response to people calling her ugly she said “makeup isn’t real” I loved that because it’s true. I also am going thru the stage where I hate myself but I never had a problem with myself until others pointed out things then I thought oh damn I’m not good enough now it’s a daily struggle. I compare myself a lot and now what people have said I believe it. So sad I know. TikTok triggers me so much to a point where I May delete it. I feel like I’ll never get over this I hope I do tho. Do you have any advice? Pretty sure I have face and body dysphoria
Hello, thank you for sharing everything about your life journey and everything you have learned, I am grateful to have found your channel, I wanted to ask you if you studied at the university and how did you manage to be independent, I am now in a moment that I realized that I don't want to go to university, even and I'm looking at what to do with my life, and well, that feeling that others already have their lives figured out or that they are studying... thanks for everything you do, greetings from Colombia💗🇨🇴
Self modification does not equate to self hate. Two things can be true at once. One can love themselves and simply want to enhance what they love. I think some of this could be coming from projection cause not every woman does it for attention.
When did I say every woman is coming from a place of self hate? In no way is this video “projection” if you listened to the words that I was saying instead of assuming I was making an issue about self modification. I’m also not here to try and convince anyone who is interested in self modification that they don’t love them selves.
i loveeee your videos ❤
Thank you ❤
This video came at the right time😌😌
love your message so much
It IS a good time over here omg
WELCOME 🦋😍😍
I’m 22 y/o and I’ve got small boobs ,always been insecure about it cause most guys prefer big ones and even many girls make comment on it too it makes me hate my body
Screw them. Honestly. Also, although it might be your experience, it’s good to remind yourself that you can absolutely change the narrative that you tell yourself, regarding men who “usually like big boobs..” There are so many men that I have met that prefer smaller boobs, please trust me on that!