We Always Fight Over Worthless Spending
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ธ.ค. 2023
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My exhusband was a spender. We finally divorced. He got a great deal on his home during the housing crash $50k. He has refinanced his home and bought 4 Harley Davidson motorcycles.
He called me at 6am over a month ago threatening to kill himself. You have to protect yourself from someone like this. Let them destroy their own life but protect yours.
I had an ex-spouse who was a spender also. We averaged a new car every 18 months through our entire marriage. New game consoles, computers, TVs, Apple Cinema display monitors, fancy road bikes, if it was for sale he would buy it. I think he felt that because his parents were rich, he would have a an inheritance so he didn't bother to save for retirement. My parents were not rich so I always had to take care of myself and save money for a rainy day. After we divorced he lost his job and is now $108k in negative equity in a home he purchased after we separated. He had to sell the fancy $80k dodge ram truck to pay bills. I own my vehicle outright and the only debt I have is the remainder of the mortgage on my home which has A LOT of equity.
DO NOT, let spenders spend you onto the streets because they will. You won't be able to change their minds if they are fixated on the idea of purchasing status or purchasing happiness. These are broken people on the inside using consumerism to fill a void. Its no different than a drug addict.
Yeah. Women get the rap for overspending but men have fetishes for guns and motors.
Hello, guys.
Hello, Dave Ramsey.
I read your book 9 months ago. It took me 3 months to sell my $35k, brand new car, and bought an $11k car. My 11k car takes me everywhere. It's better than the 35k. I drive it with no worries now. I've been taking baby steps and reorganizing my finances.
Thank you very much for your book.
It changed my way of thinking.
Thank you. God bless you and your whole crew.
Ivan, from Brazil.
grats Ivan
Thank you GOD for my husband who lets me totally nerd out over my excel spreadsheets and power points and goes along w whatever I want to do financially. If we need to spend less he’s the best at it, if we have a little extra he buys me flowers and treats. I feel for this lady, life is hard when your partner sabotages your goals.
My current favorite Ramsey duo 💯
Love, love, love these two together!
Nepotism and a diversity hire.
Yea, go buy some Ramsey stuff like Questions for Humans!
She could write a budget based on actual expenditures from recent historical spending. She can write it down and show where things went. Do housing, medical, dining and groceries, clothing, transportation, church and charity, entertainment, student and credit card debt. If savings is zero show $0. Then do a balance sheet, assets and liabilities. Do this for 3 months. Show the trending. Address things as numbers, and remove the emotional part of it. Then you have real numbers to talk about.
Jade is a straight up queen. They both do so well together, too!
She is far from a queen
@@johnlanier3616Nah. She is debt free of 460k, working on the #1 podcast, AND stunning. Hush. The woman is a beauty with brains.
I love this duo. Yes; I think it’s helpful to discuss your future together. It’s important to stop living in the moment and plan how great life could be if you have a plan.
I would one time like to here both parties on the phone at one time.
The thumbnail is Jade in her yellow t-shirt but the video is her smokin' 😂
Never ever buy anything from the gas station usually 2-3 times the price of a regular store geeze people they are made to rip you off
Agreed! This week I bought gas at the gas station and even that was a rip off!
You gave excellent advice
As a prior commenter mentioned: If she were to do an Excel (or related) sheet tracking where every dime went, categorize them (easy to do), then had a discussion like "Wow. Did you know we spent $2000.00 on take out last month?" Seeing exactly where the money goes makes it easier to accept, then make some changes to put some $$$ away while still having a fun life. Some couples even have a Mad Money spot for each person in their budget which can accomodate people that need to feel free. A set amount of $$$ you don't have to account for to buy a latte, get your nails done, etc. or save up your mad money stash for that video game you wanted. There are many ways to go about making a "spending plan" (that title is often easy to accept than "budget"-Budget feels like sacrafice, spending plan doesn't) as a couple rather than him feeling like it's mommy telling her little what to do. Sometimes little changes in how you approach the matter will make it easier for him to want to get on board. Good luck!
sorry that wouldn't work because i don't need my other bringing me stuff telling me what we spent because i don't need to see it
They need to combine their finances!!!
Hi Rachel
Dr Jade with the “hunni I’m scared I can’t breathe”
I suspect the issue arises AFTER she's made the purchases she wants then he probably gets defensive. Lead by example then ask him to follow.
This problem didn't come from nowhere. Can't demand grace and constantly be in critique mode. The financial priorities should be in line before marriage.
Blaming the numbers is a good strategy. I usually try to paint a picture for my wife so she can try to look at issues as objectively as possible. Lol. We look at it together and try to solve the problem instead of me telling her what to do. I trust her judgment so there's no need me to do that.
No the issue is he is being a child and not a man, a man leads his family.. he does NONE of the budgeting, planning, investing…
I can’t believe another “man”-child like yourself is suggesting this woman “lead by example”, the MAN needs to lead by example. If you share his mentality then reflect, grow a pair and be a real man not some little boy who treats his wife like his mother accountant maid and prostitute
Okay, you win, I spend more frivolous money. Now can we do a budget?
The issue is he isn’t a man he’s a child, a MAN leads his family, plans for the future… he does NONE of the planning, the budgeting, investing. She’s doing the Mans job and he’s being a child, he needs to reflect, grow a pair and stop living paycheque to paycheque… you married a wife and had children! You need to secure a future, he’s putting all his responsibilities to her, he is a adult-child treating her like a accountant, mother, maid and prostitut3
@@KushWings sorry but the wife is to controlling, wife needs to know her space and be a wife not a budget person and just accept that's her life
2:20 - she wants him buying gas to be in the "what you want" category. I don't think that's gonna work😅.
You're spinning stories out of your butt. Gas stations can mean snacks, drinks, food, tobacco, etc.
@@janelleg597 If this is about him buying something other than gas, which I doubt, then she should say so. Hope it's not lottery tickets.
No it did sound like she was referring to something else besides gas. Buying anything besides gas at a gas station will cost a pretty penny. I'm guessing cigarettes or beer but she didn't want to say that because it's hard to tell others your husband has an addiction. @@oneeyedman99
I’ve tried that with my husband but he always puts all the blame and all the solution on me. His check goes into the acct and he allows me to do the budget and it’s no input from him but that just leaves me as the one to worry and he doesn’t care unless he doesn’t have any money but has no clue what our expenses actually are. Will also work side jobs and doesn’t think he has to contribute that towards bills and is not even honest with how much he makes on his side jobs. I have learned to accept it because he doesn’t want to help solve anything and just easier to avoid conflict because anything wrong in his life is always my fault and never his own and he likes to play that tit for that crap too. After 20 years, I have come to accept his narcissistic attitude and some days just not sure how much longer I can go on like this.
You genuinely need marriage counseling or else start to create an account on money to save up and leave him, I’m sorry your marriage is failing but he isn’t being a man he’s treating you like a maid, accountant and mother to him
@@KushWings what's the point, some crazy amount of people waste money on counseling just to get divorce anyway
Start an escape fund!
Well, that sounds miserable. Don't deny yourself what you deserve. Take action to make your life better than what it currently is. If he's truly narcissistic, he won't change and if you've been dealing with this for 20 years, it'll look the same in another 20. Do you really want to be in this situation for the rest of your life?
So he's a narcissist and youth scape goat? Man needs to grow the f* up!!
All these men thinking their life would be so much better if they were single again, no wife, no kids, but guess what cones knocking on the door every month? Money to support the children you decided to bring into the world, now tell me again how much money you have to spend on yourself....none because you have other obligations besides a that square pack of beer!!
My cat’s name is Bob.
Do they purposely not get the financial details about people’s situations anymore?? They always jump straight to their emotional prescriptions.
It always provides much needed context that may be relatable to your audience.
It’s a short segment! Be quiet, no one got time for all that?
Yes! I've noticed this a lot lately too. On a lot of the calls that they do this, I think the numbers might actually change their prescription, but they don't bother to get the numbers!
I hope she works it out.
✝️
I can't get my husband to sit down and do a budget with me. Fortunately, he's not a spender, and we've been saving a lot.
@suen5006 So what’s the problem?
Kewl
I wonder how much she spends monthly on personal "hygiene"? (hair/nail/whatever)
Another person judging when SHE is the one wanting to do Ramsey. lol what?
I always see red flags 🚩 when ppl have separate accounts. That can be an easy way to hide your actual income and to hide bad habits or addictions. Am I wrong?
Did she say gas station? I had 1 or 2 stops last month. No wonder I'm not broke.
The fact you have to ginger about the money talk , goes to show the maturity of this relationship. When a man /women get butt hurt over the talk about money and NOT wanting to live pay check to pay check, then it time to get rid the obstacle that is strangling your money. If you depend on him for a paycheck, then GET A JOB, and run
The issue is he isn’t a man he’s a child, a MAN leads his family, plans for the future… he does NONE of the planning, the budgeting, investing. She’s doing the Mans job and he’s being a child, he needs to reflect, grow a pair and stop living paycheque to paycheque… you married a wife and had children! You need to secure a future, he’s putting all his responsibilities to her, he is a adult-child treating her like a accountant, mother, maid and prostitut3
Are we at brunch?
May I please get another one with my quiche?
For all we know he's right. He could have been well off with his finances prior to them being together. I wonder how much baggage she brought onto the relationship that's weighing them down.
Even if he is right in the way you are saying, what is the logical solution? She wears a dunce cap and he rides around her on a scooter saying, "Neener, neener, I win, don't need a budget this month!"
Is this the ideal outcome? What is the goal? Ignore a shared problem and point fingers indefinitely?
@@amamadarklyleave lol
Yeah when he was living in a bachelor pad living paycheck to pay check, now he has kids and a House, and he does NONE of the planning, budgeting ect. A MAN has to LEAD, to plan for the future, retirement, to budget, she is doing the man’s job and he is acting like a child and treating her like a mother. So maybe you are “right” the he “was well off with his finances” but the reality is he got a wife and made kids and now is acting like one. If you have this mindset with your own wife I hope u reflect and grow up
@@KushWings you're making a lot of assumptions based off of nothing. Get lost, dude.
@@chicanoazteca8614 I mean I have ears and could hear in the call the details
They were being too nice her.
She is very controlling, I wish they were direct and told her that, like they would be direct to a man
Someone should check his ego at the door. Blowing all of your money on his obsession with impressing others is no bueno.
After this covid nonsense and seeing the inflation, its amazing how i see people still wasting money on things that they don't need. It took me until i was in my 50s to realize this. Now retired and doing great. I buy silver and gold and stock up on long shelf life food items. Be prepared for the worst.
Silver and gold won't help you, but long shelf food items is smart.
I hope you have ammo too otherwise your stuff is my stuff.
@@semosancus5506 Why don't you come and find out tough guy.
@@amireallythatgrumpy6508 Hi NOT SO BRIGHT, silver and gold has been used as money long before the paper money came along.
BAHAHAHA you're American so you're in no position to comment on the intelligence of others. You've got no idea over there. Money has NEVER existed. There was no such thing as money then and there is no such thing as money NOW. @@musicman7297
Does she cover at least 1/2 of all the expenses?
The advice is good but the caller fundamentally doesn’t understand what they are saying to her. She’s going to go to her husband say let’s talk about this “together” and continue to tell him what to do after that. She needs to approach this with questions only. What do you think we should do? Where do you think there is room to cut? How much below pay check to pay check do you think we should be? And when she understands his ideas and his position she can start to comment and mould the solution.
Does she work?
Yes give her advice to take the lead😂😂😂😂😂she picked a weak boy that lacks the ability to differ from gratification.
The issue is he isn’t a man he’s a child, a MAN leads his family, plans for the future… he does NONE of the planning, the budgeting, investing. She’s doing the Mans job and he’s being a child, he needs to reflect, grow a pair and stop living paycheque to paycheque… you married a wife and had children! You need to secure a future, he’s putting all his responsibilities to her, he is a adult-child treating her like a accountant, mother, maid and prostitut3
Stop buying dumb stuff. Why is that so hard? Always ask, "Do I need this to keep being alive?" If the answer is no, don't buy it. Stop buying dumb stuff and then crying about being broke like someone stole your money. YOU spent it. Don't cry about it. You guys are weak and overly sensitive.
People still live in ND?
Yes! I lived there for four years, great place to raise a family!
@Ja50nkAt Are you trying to be funny or just ignorant?
@@1981lashlarue What do you think?
@@Ja50nkAt I'll go with ignorant.
Husband probably realized she does so much useless spending and won't stick with this anyway.
The issue is he isn’t a man he’s a child, a MAN leads his family, plans for the future… he does NONE of the planning, the budgeting, investing. She’s doing the Mans job and he’s being a child, he needs to reflect, grow a pair and stop living paycheque to paycheque… you married a wife and had children! You need to secure a future, he’s putting all his responsibilities to her, he is a adult-child treating her like a accountant, mother, maid and prostitut3
I guarantee his side of the store has more truth than hers.
I’m sorry but it’s so shameful that this guy has kids and won’t man up and take control of his bread. He wants to be in control probably because of some masculine identify nonsense where a “real” man would figure out where he is failing and work to improve it.
I don’t even have kids but I worked to get better at my finances and it’s paying off. He has kids to take care off. Jeez man, recalibrate your life
I love how all the misogynists are here assuming that it’s the woman’s fault. God forbid a man spend too much or too frequently…get help.
We only hear one side of the story, so how anyone can anyone assume who's fault it is ?
Either way they should still do a budget.
Statistically that isn’t the case…sorry 🤷♂️
@@LawrenceTimmeabsolutely they should be doing a budget
@@FrankS111do you know how many men out there blow their money? My degree is in consumer studies and I’m telling you, men are blowing 10s of thousands at a time. Those are the statistics. Men are gambling. Buying trucks. Buying things for their vehicles. Men are more likely to be addicted to alcohol, there’s more spending. Men are also the ones more likely to be cheating, thus spending their money there too. You’re wrong about the statistics. You’ve just successfully been turned against women by the media. Divide and conquer
It's reasonable to assume they're both at fault, because that's always the case. @@LawrenceTimme
Jade said no one is trying to say who fault it is?
But yet, she and Racheal are blaming it all on the husband.
How bout give some examples of what she is talking about.
For all we know, she is the one who is spending.
That's the Ramsey Simpin' Solutions Team's way.
Why are you here?
@@OopThereItIs77777Because your mom told me to leave.
The issue is he isn’t a man he’s a child, a MAN leads his family, plans for the future… he does NONE of the planning, the budgeting, investing. She’s doing the Mans job and he’s being a child, he needs to reflect, grow a pair and stop living paycheque to paycheque… you married a wife and had children! You need to secure a future, he’s putting all his responsibilities to her, he is a adult-child treating her like a accountant, mother, maid and prostitut3
If he doesn't want to budget, he is to blame.
You picked the wrong man now live with it or divorce him and stop whining.
Like she’s telling the truth? Cmon. She’s telling a story and it’s not all truth and she’s not innocent
@dcg590 yes every story has 3 side hers, his and the truth you are correct.
@@dcg590bro you don’t know what her truth is. Some men are terrible spenders; it’s not PSYCHOLOGICALLY just a woman thing. Get your degree in psych & consumer studies then let’s chat
@dcg590
Why not? My mother complained my ears off about my father. My step mother has the exact same complaints and since I know his spending habits, I know neither are lying.
You just assume the woman is lying because you hate women?
I know people like to leave out their short comings, but simply claiming she's lying, is ridiculous.
Kinda think she doesn't call her husband "boo." I could be mistaken
Who is willing to bet money shes draining the account and ince she notices it is low she tries to turn into the resonable one common thing nowadays
My dad does 20 hours of over time most weeks and he makes one thousand a week and he works his but off
You still have to budget with your spouse
Bob? 😂 Just cut to the chase and call him Bum.
Divorce 😅
Do they donate to the poor?
They are the poor
@@listerinr Always keep your life involved in helping people, it helps you.🕊
Believe all woman and everything she says? 🤮 I’m betting she’s leaving a LOT out. She’s not innocent whatsoever. She’s the kind of person who change’s therapist because they don’t agree with her.
You really think bob is budgeting the money and planning his retirement? He’s not a man he’s an adult child
Stupidly on steroids 😂
Jade is so annoying.
Might be time to move Rachel to another department. Her advice comes from a different mindset. George should get more air time and take her slot (my opinion)
Stop being a spoiled brat and spending all of his money .
lol another misogynist
jade is hot!