When a girl is born: She becomes a reason for her father to enter paradise When she grows up and marries a man: She completes half of his religion When she becomes a mother: Paradise will be under her feet This is the status of our women in Islam.
I love the fact that this family Mashallah sits together and talks about such topics . My parents don’t even talk to us like this . You people are so lucky to have such parents to be talking openly.
@@leehashazam5796 i had a love marriage but i know people who have had arranged marriages and they are just as happy. Don't be discouraged. As long as their is nothing wrong with the person and you aren't forced then all the best :)
@@leehashazam5796 I had arranged. I would have been in same position if I found a guy my self. Parents are making zina easy and scaring kids away from true Islam. X
My parents have three daughters. They never cared for wanting a son. My parents till this day treat us more than how sons are treated in this society. Thanks to Allah, my parents are truly blessed and so are we as their daughters ❤️ MashaAllah
My husband always pray for 3 daughters because of this saying of the prophet SAW: Whoever has three daughters and he accommodates them, show mercy toward them, and supports them, Paradise is definitely guaranteed for him. He replied, “[He gets that reward,] even if they are [only] two.
Thats right, scientifically it's the man's "part" that decides the gender. A woman's egg always carries an X chromosome. Therefore for the people who blame women, it's not decided by them anyway. More than that aunty is right, Islamically Allah provides a child and that is a gift to parents. Some people can't even have children. A child is a blessing whether it's a girl or a boy.
@@TheZaidFamily , so can u please ask mama and papa zaid why their families were different than general society in Pak?? Mama zaid said her dad never bothered they are 8 sisters. That is amazing
@@TheZaidFamily for the last question, if someone is saying a pregnant woman is too skinny , they can be saying out of concern. For instance a mom would tell her daughter u need to eat more and should gain weight , u are too skinny and it can affect the baby.
@@just_a_woman-h9s I agree, out of love they can say it, but I think it's the way it is said which can be offensive (especially in the Pakistani culture). Depression during pregnancy is a real thing, and sometimes women choose to decrease their consumption which can make people around them "pareshaan". I do believe in "It is not what you say, but HOW you say it" that can really draw the line between offensive and caring.
I can tell you even in United States ,Indian families abort the baby girls.My friend was pressurized by her husband and in laws.When they couldn't do it here they took her to India .And they abort the baby over there.
It's so nice to talk openly about these topics which are actually considered as a taboo back in Pakistan especially and it's a shame and uncivilized thing. Such a great family ❤️
We are definitely not past that in Canada. My parents want me to get my Master's degree, but imagine this, other aunties are telling them that they shouldn't encourage me because they would never want a daughter-in-law that is studying or working. Or a daughter in law that has a greater education than their sons. Or a daughter in law that is over the age of 25. Unfortunately, we move to other countries and pack our backwards mindset to take along the way.
I can relate to the study part to some extent. I was studying when i got married and still studying. My in laws and my husband are alhmdulilah really supportive from the very first day. But one day a really close family member(an anty) visited us and she said on my face that i wont allow my bahu to study after marriage they have alot of nakhra maybe or they can't handle family amd responsibilities. They come back home and just take rest(or basically they are useless) . i was really shocked because i never did that and i do every house chore that is my responsibility. So its about mindsets that can never change. And let me tell you she was my MIL's sister and they have different mentality
That's the dumbest thing I've read. I've done my masters and I got many suitors interested for marriage... Nowadays, there r plenty of good men who want an educated woman who can make informed choices. It's one of the best decisions I've taken in my life.
You get that Master’s degree! I got into Law School, then bullied by my inlaws (not Desi culture, just snob bullies), so I never went. When my husband started partying & got addicted to substances, he left my 3 children & I for a full year, before finally getting help & getting his crap together. He’s great now & lucky I took him back (only did that because I knew he was actively trying to be a better man & it paid off, I would not recommend staying otherwise). But it literally was 5 full years of my children & I struggling hardcore, and me not being able to find good jobs with just a History degree. I had to bartend to even pay rent, bills, food & survive... no child support because he completely just disappeared for a year. I tell every young woman now, to get as much education as possible. Ignore those who do not support your growth. Not everyone has to deal with the same experience as I had, but education empowers women (and men), to be able to support ourselves always, especially in times of crisis.
@@TheZaidFamily also, baby bumps are cute as pie! People thinking it’s shameful, they’re the ones missing out on the miracle, that is growing a human. 💛
This video was so good to watch because everything is so true and addressing it was amazing Zaid Family! I had a son first and I was happy, as long as my children are healthy. But I come from a family of 3 sisters, so I had always secretly wanted a girl so when I was expecting my daughter I cried tears of happiness in the scan room. Daughters and Sons are both precious and as said in the video is a blessing from Allah SWT. Fat shaming or being told you don’t eat enough is so true. I had my babies in a short space of time and everyone had issues with my weight gain which really hurt me but I spoke up as I couldn’t keep it in. First they want you to put weight on and keep feeding you as say you’re too skinny and after the baby is born you’re considered too fat! Also, a sad reality is that desi culture is so insensitive that the poor women who go through miscarriages get blamed that they did something wrong! Absolutely disgusting behaviour. I get peace in the fact Allah SWT watches all that is being said or done and those who say hurtful things will be answerable. May Allah SWT bless your family with a healthy baby daughter insha’Allah and you all are always remembered in my duas ❤️
For me it starts and finishes with all babies are a blessing.... no nazar , no bullshit can stop or change anything. if you believe in your journey and God... God will look after you.
Alhamdulillah Allah has blessed us with twin girls 5 months ago and we couldn't be happier. InshAllah may you have a healthy pregnancy. “Whoever brings up two girls till they reach the age of puberty, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection like this,” (and he joined his blessed fingers.) “When a boy is born, then he brings one Noor (light) and when a girl is born, then she brings two Noors.”
Regarding under weight. This happened to me back in 2015 not too long ago. I live in USA I was having my first baby I was 15 pounds underweight around 6 months of pregnancy the baby's heartbeat stopped working so it was stillbirth After a month of losing the baby I was still in same pain same shocked. And I used to live with my in laws. Within that month one random day everyone was about to eat and I didn't felt like eating I was having bad day with all the memories. I was in the room crying my husband was there with me trying to support me emotionally. My sister in law she walked in she saw me crying my husband told her the reason. While I'm crying right on face all she had to say to my husband was" why is she crying? she is the one who killed the baby she wouldn't eat properly" these are the exact words she had to say. Even to this day it still bring tears in my eyes thinking about how can she say this. But anyone who's going through these type of stuff should always remember people will say something negative regardless just be confident in what you are doing and how you are doing. Whatever is happening with you it's all Allah's planning for the best. Alhamdulillah Masha'Allah now in 2020(recently had my 3rd baby)I'm a mom of 3 healthy girls I'm still 15 to 17 pounds underweight
Everything that you guys have talked or addressed was so genuine where we don't have to think further.Regarding the "nazar' thing I think, if someone doesn't have enough moral education (consists of both religious and morality) they tend to have lesser "Will power" or the confidence or Itminan in themselves that nothing bad thing can happen to me or my family, then they more depressed even if the tinniest health issues like if the baby falls sick due to some reason they think its nazar or bad omen.But actually the baby has to take to doctor or may be there were some mistake by the parents in taking care of the child in general. So making long story short, like uncle said moral education is must to deal with both life and after life issues. And speaking about third world countries, there is a huge difference between being religious and being someone who has good morals. May Allah bless you all.And one more thing I would like to acknowledge here that you and Usama are wonderfully representing the family which everyone aspires to be.And the level of maturity about addressing such issues makes is really commendable.
I really enjoyed this sit down talking video, do more of these. I love hearing our elders talking and explaining their perspectives. I think with the baby bump, its more of a sign of respect to the men in the family, to not show the bump. Obviously it's not something to be ashamed of, but people see it as not very respectful openly showing it. It's like the whole intimacy talk in front of your father. If that makes sense. Just to explain it from another perspective. Within the western culture it's different, whereas in the Asian culture it's perceived differently. I think everyone is entitled to their own views to be honest. I think we can respect differences in opinion, even if they aren't the same as ours. A lot of women in south asian countries very happily cover as that is what they've seen and have been taught. They dont know any different. However where someone is oppressed or forced that's where I would draw a line.
These type of videos/conversations are really needed in our societies to help people with backward mentality understand the difference, so motivating👍🏻 Keep making more💓
@the zaid family Thank you for a very candid discussion on topic. My daughters are my biggest blessings, my closest confidants and friends as they are also with their father. People assume only those who are so called uneducated folks are capable of this behavior. The fact is that the so called ‘parreh likkeh’ , educated in secular n religious studies are the main instigators and perpetrators. We are in the 21st century and still people commiserate and offer condolences at the birth of a daughter. Sadly, in most cases it is a woman who belittles, curses, commiserated and makes life hell for another woman. You would think another woman, whether you are a mother, mother in law, daughter, sister would be the most supportive one in your corner. As Muslims we have a long, long way to go. I must say, Papa Zaid is a gem. I love how he explains and tackles issues. Many prayers for you n your family.
As a fellow Pakistani, this conversation is important to have and broadcast to the part of the Pakistani community who still believes in strict gender norms and rules. I appreciate you guys! My family lives in Ontario too LOL good to know there are likeminded wholehearted and grounded Pakistani's in the area!
This is still a thing in UK too. Women oppressing women. Sons birth celebration is much bigger than daughters. I had 2 girls 1st then boy and after both girls birth I was told " oh never mind, try again" . This upset me so much x
Am sorry to hear that the thing is daughters are rehmat but ppl styll don’t understand this and inshAllah these stereotypes finish and always remember only lucky ppl have daughters plus some ppl can’t have kids because of all the problems etc inshAllah these stereotypes end and stay strong 💕
Tht is so sad to hear! This is why i wanted to discuss this topic and hopefully the people who day these things can learn from their mistakes and stop being so ignorant
@@TheZaidFamily I'm so glad you made this video. Honestly I could talk about this topic for hours. Like stop asking when having s baby or when having the next. I'm now getting told to have another boy so my son has a companion... uff its so silly.
@@aleeshbamahmood4012 Absolutely. The excuses these people use are ridiculous. They need son to look after them when old, sons provide financially or the son will carry onto their name.
From my personal experience. In the UK desi communities are some of the closest people, specifically Pakistanis and Bangladeshis. Literally they're living with the mindset of living in their country of origin or even stricter sometimes. It's good up to some point but after that it arises some serious issues.
I appreciate ur mom thaughts .. n its true in some society but i guess in todays world women r independent they r educated n can take care of themselves and thier loves ones.mashalh
In islam mother's who have a girl as the first child are called 'MUBARAK MAA' which is such a high, beautiful and blessed title masha allah. May Allah bless your baby with lots of khair and aafiyat. Ameen!!😇😇
I gave birth to a daughter after 8.4 years of struggle with infertility. And i was so so happy to have her, it was my wish to have baby girl. And when she was born, a very close relative called me congratulated and then said "pareshan nhi hona agar beta nhi hua tou" and i was like wht the hell is wrong with these ppl.
whether someone has 1 daughter, 1 son or both or none we should be thankful. Whatever Allah gives it is his will, Allah gives what to whom he wills, he gives children to some and to some he doesn't.
The thing a about how some in laws say to their daughter In laws that they shouldn't go home and if you wanted to why did your parents get you married is so hypocritical. In laws expect their son to stay with them even though he's married then he shouldn't stay with his parents either secondly, in laws have no right to tell the daughter in law what she can and cannot do. Especially whether or not she can see her parents if husbands don't take a stand for such woman then women take a stand for yourself don't allow to be treated this way and fight for your rights. Islamically a man and woman should have their own house anyways so theres no nonsense who should stay with who. You're married you have your own house that's it. And visit your parents whether you are a man or woman.
I don t understand all of it, but Alhamdullilah look how beautifull this familie is. It is so beautifull to see how open minded you all are to even talk about this subject. And look how Little dog is showing affection to Sanna and her baby. Did you know he can be verry protective over Sannah and her baby, you can see it already. And Sanna always have been kind to the little dog..i am sorry i 4got his name. May Allah keep you all healthy and safe.greetings from Suha from Holland.
I feel like by discussing we can only highlight such issues but can't change thinking of those weird people. Aur 2020 ho ya koi bhe time PARHAY LIKHAY JAHIL har zamany me hngy.
MashaAllah mashaAllah ap ki sari family buht achi h laikin sab sy zaiyda ap k baba buht achy h or wo bat buht achi karty h or bachon main jab wo aisy misalyn dety huye batain karty h tou buht acha lagta h or sari batain clear ho jati h or achy sy samhj mai ajati h .....God bless u
Papa Zaid its not about education the people who want to keep their wife in control they will do even if they are Ph.d.In my family there are husbands who doesn't let their wife to see her parents even if they are sick.
Boy or Girl...does not matter but as long as it is a healthy baby which matters the most... Really good family discussion vlog and thanks for sharing the video vlog today 🙏 🙏
Seeing this conversation, reminded me of my own family back home. I love seeing /meeting like minded ppl even if it’s virtually. So many days and wishes for you guys & ur baby girl iA. Also my fav part was papa Zaid’s concluding comments lol 👌🏻💯💯
This is great that you guys are so open and answers questions like this for others who’s parents aren’t as open. Your family is a great example of how losing old restrictive ways of living doesn’t mean you lose the sense of family values and or faith. Also I think Momma Zaid hit the nail on the head, women are more critical and oppressive of other women in all cultures.
You guys are such a wonderful family! Liked both your parents their stance on the issues being spoken about in the video. Your parents are very wonderful people x
Usama and Sana, you guys picked beautiful topic even though there were lots questions to guys. First of all, when it comes to me I don’t believe in evil eye but I have doubts or someone would say oh it’s an evil eye. Simple what I do is pray to Yeshua(Jesus). Actually it happened to me once when I went to Pakistan for a visit and my sister’s maid came to me and started asking for my daughter’s clothes for her granddaughter. I told her my suitcase got lost and I had only two or three outfits with me. It’s long story, my daughter on that same day got sick and had a temperature and she would not open her eyes so I put my hands on her forehead and started praying in few minutes my daughter opened her eyes and her temperature went away. I think some woman are enemy of another woman which is so bad. I think woman should stand for another woman and support each other. I have two daughters and I am so blessed to have them. What your mom meant when she said she was “Embarrassed” it’s more like a shyness in front of our elders and also respect as well. I have heard this thing from different types of women, if you say I’m going to have a girl and they’re like “Oh acha, it’s next you try for a boy” Lol 😂 seriously? Girl or Boy they are from ELOYHIM (GOD). May GOD bless you both and your baby girl.
Im having a girl and i never knee i would feel gender disappointment because of others. Sexism is real and it is happening still today. Great job sana and usama ❤️
Mashaallah Khushiya laae ALLAH naseeb achy kry ameen Beitia ziada tr maa baap ka khyl rkhty hai or apny husband k maa baap ka b khyl rkhti hai Bht bht khushi hoi mashaallah
Baby girl is blessing for every parents who understanda the value of her...... dont worry about society and i wish you have cute and smart baby girl ......🧍🏻♀️
Asalamualaikum! Just wanted to say may Allah protect your growing family...ameen...I also wanted to say that it is such a good thing that you bring these conversations to your channel especially with different points of view and that it is ok to think differently but it is very refreshing to see that you as a family can come together and speak so candidly and respectful about these topics...
Congratulations sana your going too be a lovely mother. Your new daughter lucky to have such loving family Marshallah. I am from UK and new too your TH-cam channel I have 3 beautiful children and my last child was a daughter. For years I prayed too allah for my beautiful princess.. Don't matter if women have a girl or boy they are both equal. Don't know why in our pakistani culture they want only sons..the baby should be healthy that what matters.
Amazing video really enjoyed it🥰 btw i finally had my babyboi he was born 7th November 2020 MaShaAllah we both doing good and im just getting used to having a newborn again 🙏🏾😍
A pregnant woman, no matter how big or small is the baby bump, they look the most beautiful. Ek aurat ke jaan mei dusri jaan pal rahi hai, isn't it the most beautiful thing in the world??? I have three boys. First pregnancy when we knew that it's a boy we were happy knowing that the baby is healthy. The second one, after ultrasound, my hubby cried saying why god didn't give us daughter. Third pregnancy, till the time I gave birth we hope for the miracle ke rab beti dede.
What a beautiful fruitful video! Love that you’re bringing attention to the taboo’s in the South Asian cultures. I’m from Afghanistan and I’ve seen and witnessed everything that was mentioned in your video. Sending love! ♥️✨
Wish more our desi parents could sit down and talk and view they opinions. Hats off ! You guys r blessed to have a lovly and understanding family X Great video . Bets wishes for the little bundle of Joy's Allah keep her blessed with alot Ameen🤲
Assalam Alaikum, A good topic to discuss and actually a very much needed, to be raised awareness on. I am 1 of 3 and raised with equal rights. I didn't see this stigma growing up in my immediate family or extended . Islam has given equal rights and respect to women.There are all type of people everywhere. Although learned to know that it very much exists. Know a family who didn't do haqiqa for the granddaughters but for the grandson straight away. To my surprise this family comes across really religious too.May Allah give guidance to all. Sana you are lucky lady as you will give birth to a girl👑. May Allah make it easy for you. Keep active it will help you with your labour. With love♥️
Equal opportunity is absolutely right The mindset now changes . A girl or a boy , they both are blessings for the family . Back in days , I believe women did not wear these tight dresses to show their bumps .. now it’s a proud thing to show I mean it all depends where you were brought up Good vlog and discussion Much ❤️ and blessings
Its such a mind blowing vlog with lots of in depth information to show, and its so true that as a woman many go through so many of these scenarios but the one thing many forget is whatever was destined for you will be no matter how hard you try to make changes if you're not destined for them they will never happen. InshaAllah you have a healthy beautiful baby brining you guys lots of rehmat and barkat in your lives xx
Alhamduliallah I have a daughter and we r living in Italy .she is best gift in my life Is Allah gave me . I m so glad and happy to have her .plz respect women
Online you have internet trolls saying negative things but in real life we have 'aunties', that can't keep out of peoples businesses. They always have something to say. I have been weight shamed constantly purely because I am thin (which I get from my mother and fathers side, they were naturally thin too at a younger age). You would think people wouldn't say anything but I have always been blasted for it. Some people need to learn manners. Hurting people's feelings is not nice.
@@TheZaidFamily Same, and all the snide comments were really upsetting. People would say things like "oh she's dieting that's why she won't eat much", even though that wasn't true. Or spend hours on how they thought I should look different. I think nowadays, if your slim and people pull you down, others dont really consider it shaming. I know people are a lot more careful telling someone they think they've gained weight but more comfortable picking at someone who is slim. I feel like no matter what you weigh or look like though, people will always have something to say. You just have to be happy, truthful and comfortable in your own self.
We are 4 sisters and have 1 brother ... But my father is very proud on us ..and he give us best education with the help of Allah ..we all sisters studied outside from our home by staying in hostel. .....Allhumdollilah ...n m from Pakistan ..my father give us more love than our brother 😜 n yes beties are considered are rehmat .
💐Assalamu Alaikum 💐 JazakAllah Allah pak aap ko apne Hifz-o-Aman mai rakhine Ameen.aur aap ki family ko khush rakhe aur bore nazar sye bachaye aur lambi umar karye Ameen sum Ameen . 🤲🤲 From Pakistan 💐
When a girl is born:
She becomes a reason for her father to enter paradise
When she grows up and marries a man:
She completes half of his religion
When she becomes a mother:
Paradise will be under her feet
This is the status of our women in Islam.
Love this
MashALLAH 🙏🏽
True 100%
SubhanAllah
Very good masha Allah jazakallah
I always respected papa zaid but mama zaid is a strong and truthful woman!! No wonder her daughter is so strong
I love the fact that this family Mashallah sits together and talks about such topics . My parents don’t even talk to us like this . You people are so lucky to have such parents to be talking openly.
I agree. I try to sit and talk with my family and get in arguments
@@leehashazam5796 i had a love marriage but i know people who have had arranged marriages and they are just as happy. Don't be discouraged. As long as their is nothing wrong with the person and you aren't forced then all the best :)
@@sal.92 you are right too . I have seen both kind of people in marriage love or arrange . Every one has to adjust and deal with Situations.
@@leehashazam5796 I had arranged. I would have been in same position if I found a guy my self.
Parents are making zina easy and scaring kids away from true Islam. X
They are lucky to have such parents
My parents have three daughters. They never cared for wanting a son. My parents till this day treat us more than how sons are treated in this society. Thanks to Allah, my parents are truly blessed and so are we as their daughters ❤️ MashaAllah
My husband always pray for 3 daughters because of this saying of the prophet SAW:
Whoever has three daughters and he accommodates them, show mercy toward them, and supports them, Paradise is definitely guaranteed for him. He replied, “[He gets that reward,] even if they are [only] two.
Hazrat Muhammad (s.w.A) have four daughters
Papa zaid is so right you don't need anything else but faith in Allah for protection. Pray what you need and have faith. No need for taveez etc.
Great discussion with your parents! I wish more desi parents would be open to sit down with their kids to have these talks
Thanks! Glad u enjoyed it!!
I have four daughters and I am so so happy I would never want it any other way x
Mashallah 🙏🏼❤️
Miriam Ahmed how blessed are you 4 girls mashallah xx
MashaAllah. May they become the coolness of your eyes.
Thats right, scientifically it's the man's "part" that decides the gender. A woman's egg always carries an X chromosome. Therefore for the people who blame women, it's not decided by them anyway. More than that aunty is right, Islamically Allah provides a child and that is a gift to parents. Some people can't even have children. A child is a blessing whether it's a girl or a boy.
A Child is a blessing
You are right
Its a shame that even men these days in the UK desi community still want the wife to have boys and push for it. It's a shame
It is ! And tht is why we wanted to discuss this topic 🌝
@@TheZaidFamily , so can u please ask mama and papa zaid why their families were different than general society in Pak?? Mama zaid said her dad never bothered they are 8 sisters. That is amazing
@@TheZaidFamily for the last question, if someone is saying a pregnant woman is too skinny , they can be saying out of concern. For instance a mom would tell her daughter u need to eat more and should gain weight , u are too skinny and it can affect the baby.
@@just_a_woman-h9s I agree, out of love they can say it, but I think it's the way it is said which can be offensive (especially in the Pakistani culture). Depression during pregnancy is a real thing, and sometimes women choose to decrease their consumption which can make people around them "pareshaan". I do believe in "It is not what you say, but HOW you say it" that can really draw the line between offensive and caring.
I can tell you even in United States ,Indian families abort the baby girls.My friend was pressurized by her husband and in laws.When they couldn't do it here they took her to India .And they abort the baby over there.
It's so nice to talk openly about these topics which are actually considered as a taboo back in Pakistan especially and it's a shame and uncivilized thing. Such a great family ❤️
We are definitely not past that in Canada. My parents want me to get my Master's degree, but imagine this, other aunties are telling them that they shouldn't encourage me because they would never want a daughter-in-law that is studying or working. Or a daughter in law that has a greater education than their sons. Or a daughter in law that is over the age of 25. Unfortunately, we move to other countries and pack our backwards mindset to take along the way.
So true! Pay no heed to those aunties! They will always be ignorant 😒
I can relate to the study part to some extent. I was studying when i got married and still studying. My in laws and my husband are alhmdulilah really supportive from the very first day. But one day a really close family member(an anty) visited us and she said on my face that i wont allow my bahu to study after marriage they have alot of nakhra maybe or they can't handle family amd responsibilities. They come back home and just take rest(or basically they are useless) . i was really shocked because i never did that and i do every house chore that is my responsibility. So its about mindsets that can never change. And let me tell you she was my MIL's sister and they have different mentality
That's the dumbest thing I've read. I've done my masters and I got many suitors interested for marriage... Nowadays, there r plenty of good men who want an educated woman who can make informed choices. It's one of the best decisions I've taken in my life.
You get that Master’s degree! I got into Law School, then bullied by my inlaws (not Desi culture, just snob bullies), so I never went. When my husband started partying & got addicted to substances, he left my 3 children & I for a full year, before finally getting help & getting his crap together. He’s great now & lucky I took him back (only did that because I knew he was actively trying to be a better man & it paid off, I would not recommend staying otherwise). But it literally was 5 full years of my children & I struggling hardcore, and me not being able to find good jobs with just a History degree. I had to bartend to even pay rent, bills, food & survive... no child support because he completely just disappeared for a year. I tell every young woman now, to get as much education as possible. Ignore those who do not support your growth. Not everyone has to deal with the same experience as I had, but education empowers women (and men), to be able to support ourselves always, especially in times of crisis.
@@TheZaidFamily also, baby bumps are cute as pie! People thinking it’s shameful, they’re the ones missing out on the miracle, that is growing a human. 💛
So so true Sana "women need to be thoughtful of other women".
This video was so good to watch because everything is so true and addressing it was amazing Zaid Family! I had a son first and I was happy, as long as my children are healthy. But I come from a family of 3 sisters, so I had always secretly wanted a girl so when I was expecting my daughter I cried tears of happiness in the scan room. Daughters and Sons are both precious and as said in the video is a blessing from Allah SWT.
Fat shaming or being told you don’t eat enough is so true. I had my babies in a short space of time and everyone had issues with my weight gain which really hurt me but I spoke up as I couldn’t keep it in. First they want you to put weight on and keep feeding you as say you’re too skinny and after the baby is born you’re considered too fat!
Also, a sad reality is that desi culture is so insensitive that the poor women who go through miscarriages get blamed that they did something wrong! Absolutely disgusting behaviour.
I get peace in the fact Allah SWT watches all that is being said or done and those who say hurtful things will be answerable.
May Allah SWT bless your family with a healthy baby daughter insha’Allah and you all are always remembered in my duas ❤️
For me it starts and finishes with all babies are a blessing.... no nazar , no bullshit can stop or change anything. if you believe in your journey and God... God will look after you.
Nazar apni bhi lag jaathi hy pyaar sy so its best to say MA SHA ALLAH so theres nothing to worry about .❤
In’sha’allah u have a healthy and happy baby girl 👧💕 love u guys ❤️😭
Thank you!! Hope you like the video!!
Love u guys 😍❤️❤️
Asalamu Alaikum...Always write Allah name with capital A
Alhamdulillah Allah has blessed us with twin girls 5 months ago and we couldn't be happier. InshAllah may you have a healthy pregnancy.
“Whoever brings up two girls till they reach the age of puberty, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection like this,” (and he joined his blessed fingers.)
“When a boy is born, then he brings one Noor (light) and when a girl is born, then she brings two Noors.”
So encouraging to hear these progressive and intelligent desi parents.
So many of us are stifled and bound by antiquated thinking 🤨
Regarding under weight. This happened to me back in 2015 not too long ago. I live in USA
I was having my first baby I was 15 pounds underweight around 6 months of pregnancy the baby's heartbeat stopped working so it was stillbirth
After a month of losing the baby I was still in same pain same shocked. And I used to live with my in laws. Within that month one random day everyone was about to eat and I didn't felt like eating I was having bad day with all the memories. I was in the room crying my husband was there with me trying to support me emotionally. My sister in law she walked in she saw me crying my husband told her the reason. While I'm crying right on face all she had to say to my husband was" why is she crying? she is the one who killed the baby she wouldn't eat properly" these are the exact words she had to say.
Even to this day it still bring tears in my eyes thinking about how can she say this.
But anyone who's going through these type of stuff should always remember people will say something negative regardless just be confident in what you are doing and how you are doing. Whatever is happening with you it's all Allah's planning for the best. Alhamdulillah Masha'Allah now in 2020(recently had my 3rd baby)I'm a mom of 3 healthy girls I'm still 15 to 17 pounds underweight
Also it's not like she's little that's why she said it. She's almost 8 years older than me
Everything that you guys have talked or addressed was so genuine where we don't have to think further.Regarding the "nazar' thing I think, if someone doesn't have enough moral education (consists of both religious and morality) they tend to have lesser "Will power" or the confidence or Itminan in themselves that nothing bad thing can happen to me or my family, then they more depressed even if the tinniest health issues like if the baby falls sick due to some reason they think its nazar or bad omen.But actually the baby has to take to doctor or may be there were some mistake by the parents in taking care of the child in general. So making long story short, like uncle said moral education is must to deal with both life and after life issues.
And speaking about third world countries, there is a huge difference between being religious and being someone who has good morals. May Allah bless you all.And one more thing I would like to acknowledge here that you and Usama are wonderfully representing the family which everyone aspires to be.And the level of maturity about addressing such issues makes is really commendable.
I really enjoyed this sit down talking video, do more of these. I love hearing our elders talking and explaining their perspectives. I think with the baby bump, its more of a sign of respect to the men in the family, to not show the bump. Obviously it's not something to be ashamed of, but people see it as not very respectful openly showing it. It's like the whole intimacy talk in front of your father. If that makes sense. Just to explain it from another perspective. Within the western culture it's different, whereas in the Asian culture it's perceived differently. I think everyone is entitled to their own views to be honest. I think we can respect differences in opinion, even if they aren't the same as ours. A lot of women in south asian countries very happily cover as that is what they've seen and have been taught. They dont know any different. However where someone is oppressed or forced that's where I would draw a line.
These type of videos/conversations are really needed in our societies to help people with backward mentality understand the difference, so motivating👍🏻 Keep making more💓
@the zaid family Thank you for a very candid discussion on topic.
My daughters are my biggest blessings, my closest confidants and friends as they are also with their father. People assume only those who are so called uneducated folks are capable of this behavior.
The fact is that the so called ‘parreh likkeh’ , educated in secular n religious studies are the main instigators and perpetrators.
We are in the 21st century and still people commiserate and offer condolences at the birth of a daughter.
Sadly, in most cases it is a woman who belittles, curses, commiserated and makes life hell for another woman. You would think another woman, whether you are a mother, mother in law, daughter, sister would be the most supportive one in your corner.
As Muslims we have a long, long way to go.
I must say, Papa Zaid is a gem. I love how he explains and tackles issues. Many prayers for you n your family.
May Allahs blessing be upon everyone's children and may they be protected from the evil of this duniya and hereafter inshallah
Such a great conversation 🌸may Allah bless you with a healthy baby girl ❤️
As a fellow Pakistani, this conversation is important to have and broadcast to the part of the Pakistani community who still believes in strict gender norms and rules. I appreciate you guys! My family lives in Ontario too LOL good to know there are likeminded wholehearted and grounded Pakistani's in the area!
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed the topic !! 🙏🏼🙏🏼😊😊
This is still a thing in UK too. Women oppressing women.
Sons birth celebration is much bigger than daughters.
I had 2 girls 1st then boy and after both girls birth I was told " oh never mind, try again" . This upset me so much x
Am sorry to hear that the thing is daughters are rehmat but ppl styll don’t understand this and inshAllah these stereotypes finish and always remember only lucky ppl have daughters plus some ppl can’t have kids because of all the problems etc inshAllah these stereotypes end and stay strong 💕
Tht is so sad to hear! This is why i wanted to discuss this topic and hopefully the people who day these things can learn from their mistakes and stop being so ignorant
@@TheZaidFamily I'm so glad you made this video. Honestly I could talk about this topic for hours.
Like stop asking when having s baby or when having the next.
I'm now getting told to have another boy so my son has a companion... uff its so silly.
@@aleeshbamahmood4012 Absolutely. The excuses these people use are ridiculous. They need son to look after them when old, sons provide financially or the son will carry onto their name.
From my personal experience. In the UK desi communities are some of the closest people, specifically Pakistanis and Bangladeshis. Literally they're living with the mindset of living in their country of origin or even stricter sometimes. It's good up to some point but after that it arises some serious issues.
You guys are blessed to have such parents, cherish every moment with them, stay blessed and happy!
Sana'/ Urdu is soo good! She sounds super cute. Interesting conversation ❤️
I appreciate ur mom thaughts .. n its true in some society but i guess in todays world women r independent they r educated n can take care of themselves and thier loves ones.mashalh
Glad you enjoyed the video! 🙏🏼❤️
@@TheZaidFamily i love ur entire family .. n specialy will all due respect i love ur dad may Allah tala give him good health an happiness ameen .
In islam mother's who have a girl as the first child are called 'MUBARAK MAA' which is such a high, beautiful and blessed title masha allah.
May Allah bless your baby with lots of khair and aafiyat.
Ameen!!😇😇
Thank you! ❤️❤️
15:09 loved how usama talked about Allah tallah and nazar.. you guys are the cutest family on TH-cam! Allah tallah har burri nazar se bachaaye ♥️♥️♥️
In'sha'allah hope everything goes well for youuuu 🥰♥️ such amazing family!
Thanks!! ❤️❤️
I gave birth to a daughter after 8.4 years of struggle with infertility. And i was so so happy to have her, it was my wish to have baby girl. And when she was born, a very close relative called me congratulated and then said "pareshan nhi hona agar beta nhi hua tou" and i was like wht the hell is wrong with these ppl.
haan sach mai, ppl like
Erum khurum mashallah after a such long time you where blessed with a princess xx
ly guys so so much and hope Sana has a safe delivery inshallah💕❤️
whether someone has 1 daughter, 1 son or both or none we should be thankful. Whatever Allah gives it is his will, Allah gives what to whom he wills, he gives children to some and to some he doesn't.
I live in Canada and hv faced all these issues.... Just cound nt finish watching the video. Couldn't stop my tears. 😢
May you be strong and break the toxic patterns with your children in the future.
The thing a about how some in laws say to their daughter In laws that they shouldn't go home and if you wanted to why did your parents get you married is so hypocritical. In laws expect their son to stay with them even though he's married then he shouldn't stay with his parents either secondly, in laws have no right to tell the daughter in law what she can and cannot do. Especially whether or not she can see her parents if husbands don't take a stand for such woman then women take a stand for yourself don't allow to be treated this way and fight for your rights. Islamically a man and woman should have their own house anyways so theres no nonsense who should stay with who. You're married you have your own house that's it. And visit your parents whether you are a man or woman.
My goal in life is to simply advocate and strive for equality!! On all levels
I don t understand all of it, but Alhamdullilah look how beautifull this familie is. It is so beautifull to see how open minded you all are to even talk about this subject. And look how Little dog is showing affection to Sanna and her baby. Did you know he can be verry protective over Sannah and her baby, you can see it already. And Sanna always have been kind to the little dog..i am sorry i 4got his name. May Allah keep you all healthy and safe.greetings from Suha from Holland.
I feel like by discussing we can only highlight such issues but can't change thinking of those weird people. Aur 2020 ho ya koi bhe time PARHAY LIKHAY JAHIL har zamany me hngy.
Aww uncle’s comment in the end, ITS YOUR TERRITORY MAKE SURE THEY KNOW IT 😁♥️
This is such a true video❤️I love how u guys are just so honest with everything😌
MashaAllah mashaAllah ap ki sari family buht achi h laikin sab sy zaiyda ap k baba buht achy h or wo bat buht achi karty h or bachon main jab wo aisy misalyn dety huye batain karty h tou buht acha lagta h or sari batain clear ho jati h or achy sy samhj mai ajati h .....God bless u
Papa Zaid its not about education the people who want to keep their wife in control they will do even if they are Ph.d.In my family there are husbands who doesn't let their wife to see her parents even if they are sick.
Beautiful family Masha Allah. Both of u are made for each other. There is no difference between boys and girls. Love u guys.
Boy or Girl...does not matter but as long as it is a healthy baby which matters the most...
Really good family discussion vlog and thanks for sharing the video vlog today 🙏 🙏
Seeing this conversation, reminded me of my own family back home. I love seeing /meeting like minded ppl even if it’s virtually. So many days and wishes for you guys & ur baby girl iA. Also my fav part was papa Zaid’s concluding comments lol 👌🏻💯💯
I love the believe of Uncle in ALLAH PAK as no taweez dhagga. Great approach. Sadqa, Khairat
This is great that you guys are so open and answers questions like this for others who’s parents aren’t as open. Your family is a great example of how losing old restrictive ways of living doesn’t mean you lose the sense of family values and or faith. Also I think Momma Zaid hit the nail on the head, women are more critical and oppressive of other women in all cultures.
You guys are such a wonderful family! Liked both your parents their stance on the issues being spoken about in the video. Your parents are very wonderful people x
Thank you so much!
Love seeing papa nd mama in ur vlogs ❤
Best example of ideal in laws is the zaid family 😍😍😍 MashaAllah MashaAllah MashaAllah may Allah protect u guys from evil eyes 💓
MashaAllah💕
You all have pretty hearts😊💕...
Stay happy always😊
Usama and Sana, you guys picked beautiful topic even though there were lots questions to guys.
First of all, when it comes to me I don’t believe in evil eye but I have doubts or someone would say oh it’s an evil eye. Simple what I do is pray to Yeshua(Jesus). Actually it happened to me once when I went to Pakistan for a visit and my sister’s maid came to me and started asking for my daughter’s clothes for her granddaughter. I told her my suitcase got lost and I had only two or three outfits with me. It’s long story, my daughter on that same day got sick and had a temperature and she would not open her eyes so I put my hands on her forehead and started praying in few minutes my daughter opened her eyes and her temperature went away.
I think some woman are enemy of another woman which is so bad. I think woman should stand for another woman and support each other.
I have two daughters and I am so blessed to have them.
What your mom meant when she said she was “Embarrassed” it’s more like a shyness in front of our elders and also respect as well.
I have heard this thing from different types of women, if you say I’m going to have a girl and they’re like “Oh acha, it’s next you try for a boy” Lol 😂 seriously? Girl or Boy they are from ELOYHIM (GOD).
May GOD bless you both and your baby girl.
Allah ka shukar hai meri sas or sasur aise nai hai or mera 1st baby girl hai or wo use bohat pyar karte hai ma sha Allah
need Sana's outfit details in all the videos!! HER FITS ARE SO CUTE EVERY TIME.
Im having a girl and i never knee i would feel gender disappointment because of others. Sexism is real and it is happening still today. Great job sana and usama ❤️
Love u guys soo much !! Can’t wait for the baby to come ! Doing loads of dua for her ♥️
Mother in law looks beautiful without make up
Mashaallah Khushiya laae ALLAH naseeb achy kry ameen
Beitia ziada tr maa baap ka khyl rkhty hai or apny husband k maa baap ka b khyl rkhti hai
Bht bht khushi hoi mashaallah
No matter if it is a girl or a boy they all are equal its from allah there is nothing we can do just pray to Allah thats all.
Baby girl is blessing for every parents who understanda the value of her...... dont worry about society and i wish you have cute and smart baby girl ......🧍🏻♀️
yaar you people are awesome ... this type of family conversation is like talking from heart
Asalamualaikum! Just wanted to say may Allah protect your growing family...ameen...I also wanted to say that it is such a good thing that you bring these conversations to your channel especially with different points of view and that it is ok to think differently but it is very refreshing to see that you as a family can come together and speak so candidly and respectful about these topics...
Awesome discussion 👏🏻... very well said.👍🏻🥰
Congratulations sana your going too be a lovely mother. Your new daughter lucky to have such loving family Marshallah. I am from UK and new too your TH-cam channel I have 3 beautiful children and my last child was a daughter. For years I prayed too allah for my beautiful princess.. Don't matter if women have a girl or boy they are both equal. Don't know why in our pakistani culture they want only sons..the baby should be healthy that what matters.
Amazing video really enjoyed it🥰 btw i finally had my babyboi he was born 7th November 2020 MaShaAllah we both doing good and im just getting used to having a newborn again 🙏🏾😍
A pregnant woman, no matter how big or small is the baby bump, they look the most beautiful. Ek aurat ke jaan mei dusri jaan pal rahi hai, isn't it the most beautiful thing in the world??? I have three boys. First pregnancy when we knew that it's a boy we were happy knowing that the baby is healthy. The second one, after ultrasound, my hubby cried saying why god didn't give us daughter. Third pregnancy, till the time I gave birth we hope for the miracle ke rab beti dede.
Sana n usama I really liked Ur this video Allah paak give u both a healthy baby girl wish u both loads of love n prayers from UK
What a beautiful fruitful video! Love that you’re bringing attention to the taboo’s in the South Asian cultures. I’m from Afghanistan and I’ve seen and witnessed everything that was mentioned in your video.
Sending love! ♥️✨
This video was much needed. Loved the topic
In shaa Allah may Allah grant a happy healthy baby
Wish more our desi parents could sit down and talk and view they opinions. Hats off !
You guys r blessed to have a lovly and understanding family X Great video . Bets wishes for the little bundle of Joy's Allah keep her blessed with alot Ameen🤲
Very happy and adorable family.. Daughters are Rehmat...❤️❤️ Always Stay blessed..
I really liked this conversation segment ❤️I’m a 30 year old big fan of you guys, the whole family🤣
Prayers to you guys🤍🤍
Assalam Alaikum, A good topic to discuss and actually a very much needed, to be raised awareness on. I am 1 of 3 and raised with equal rights. I didn't see this stigma growing up in my immediate family or extended . Islam has given equal rights and respect to women.There are all type of people everywhere. Although learned to know that it very much exists. Know a family who didn't do haqiqa for the granddaughters but for the grandson straight away. To my surprise this family comes across really religious too.May Allah give guidance to all.
Sana you are lucky lady as you will give birth to a girl👑.
May Allah make it easy for you.
Keep active it will help you with your labour.
With love♥️
What an amazing video!! 👌 please do more of these kind of videos.. these will help change people their old mindsets..
Closing remarks are very beautiful from mama zaid yes it's a blessing love you all😍
Equal opportunity is absolutely right
The mindset now changes .
A girl or a boy , they both are blessings for the family .
Back in days , I believe women did not wear these tight dresses to show their bumps .. now it’s a proud thing to show
I mean it all depends where you were brought up
Good vlog and discussion
Much ❤️ and blessings
InshaAllah u have lovely baby girl and wish u both all the best 🤗
May Allah bless you all ❤️ such a nice conversation!
What an interesting topic! very nice. Thanks
Thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏼
It's true that some body doesn't have this Blessings. We must pray for.them.may Allah Blessed Olad ki animate.....( Aameen)
Its such a mind blowing vlog with lots of in depth information to show, and its so true that as a woman many go through so many of these scenarios but the one thing many forget is whatever was destined for you will be no matter how hard you try to make changes if you're not destined for them they will never happen. InshaAllah you have a healthy beautiful baby brining you guys lots of rehmat and barkat in your lives xx
I think you guys should make a segment on taboo topics with mama and papa ji. It’s really refreshing to see discussions like this 😊
I learned alot thank you so much. I was really worried about this topic and look forward to more videos
May God bless you & baby 🥰
Logical conversation 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👌👌💐💐
Alhamduliallah I have a daughter and we r living in Italy .she is best gift in my life Is Allah gave me . I m so glad and happy to have her .plz respect women
Subhan Allah, may Allah reward your family for your efforts and put barakat into it Jazak Allah Love u 💖 from New Zealand
Another major reason back the lady daughters were frowned up on was the cost of raising them and then eventually getting them married and dowry etc.
Islamically, the woman should receive money for mehr and she should not have to pay a dowry. Religion>culture.
A huge congrats once again!!!! Beautiful baby girl on the way 💕 not long now!
Thank you 🙏🏼❤️❤️
Now a days girls in Pakistan are ahead of guys in many fields..
I love the way the dad talks! Mujhey inka lehja bahut pasand aya
Online you have internet trolls saying negative things but in real life we have 'aunties', that can't keep out of peoples businesses. They always have something to say. I have been weight shamed constantly purely because I am thin (which I get from my mother and fathers side, they were naturally thin too at a younger age). You would think people wouldn't say anything but I have always been blasted for it. Some people need to learn manners. Hurting people's feelings is not nice.
I know exactly what you mean! I always got told im so skinny and to put on weight when i was growing up. I hope our generation is less ignorant 🙏🏼
@@TheZaidFamily Same, and all the snide comments were really upsetting. People would say things like "oh she's dieting that's why she won't eat much", even though that wasn't true. Or spend hours on how they thought I should look different. I think nowadays, if your slim and people pull you down, others dont really consider it shaming. I know people are a lot more careful telling someone they think they've gained weight but more comfortable picking at someone who is slim. I feel like no matter what you weigh or look like though, people will always have something to say. You just have to be happy, truthful and comfortable in your own self.
We are 4 sisters and have 1 brother ... But my father is very proud on us ..and he give us best education with the help of Allah ..we all sisters studied outside from our home by staying in hostel. .....Allhumdollilah ...n m from Pakistan ..my father give us more love than our brother 😜 n yes beties are considered are rehmat .
💐Assalamu Alaikum 💐 JazakAllah Allah pak aap ko apne Hifz-o-Aman mai rakhine Ameen.aur aap ki family ko khush rakhe aur bore nazar sye bachaye aur lambi umar karye Ameen sum Ameen . 🤲🤲 From Pakistan 💐