Because her female instinct picked up on the fact that he was trying hard to be non combative so instinctively she became more assertive in her demeanor.
WTF.....what is she talking about. Most guys are in touch with their feelings. We just can't share them with our women because it's seen as a weakness.
Also, sometimes we not experiencing the feelings they want us to feel. We just don't focus on feelings a lot of time because it's not that big a deal. When women cry after a traumatic event a guy might not even feel like crying. Me personally sometimes I just don't feel anything but can tell you what I think. Also men process things with action. We are not as verbal or as outwardly expressive and we work off logic. We live in a competitive sphere at all times and so we have to operate based on reason and logic. Men have to step back and process emotions and think about what's on their mind, so our minds and emotions are less connected. There is more detachment. Instead of trying to get guys to cry and talk about feelings we should let them deal with it in a way that works. We trying to get men who identify as men, born as men, to act like bio women who identify as women.
I sincerely don't comprehend how this simple concept is so hard for them to grasp. In the video in real time you could tell on her face an response she didn't get it and he articulated himself perfectly...this feels hopeless lol
I've been married for almost 30 years. My wife is a very poor listener. I actually avoid trying to have long conversations for that reason. In all other aspects she's the best. But when decisions need to be made those convos are short and to the point.
My wife is the same way, she keeps trying to interpret what I'm saying based off how what I'm saying makes her feel, 🤦🏾♂️ it's fucking exhausting so I avoid that shit and just say here's what needs to be done you can do what I'm telling you or not, but for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction 🤷🏾♂️
I’m sure interactions like this is a prime example as to why men aren’t expressing themselves to us women. Taking notes and making proper adjustments to be more receptive. 💪🏽
@@djvnkc if you can’t provide statistical facts of black women not listening please don’t not show unrealistic data because that creates false narrative and creates more communication barriers between the too.
"Men's feelings aren't validated." "HOW?!?!" "To be a ma..." "I FEEL LIKE (proceeds to victimize women in her answer and completely disregard/ignore his attempt to explain) She asks how to make men feel more emotionally understood then immediately interrupts, overspeaks and speculates what the answer could be.
Love how she spent half the interview talking over the interviewer, but still wonders why men don't bother trying to express themselves to her or women at large. For women, more often times than not, an expression of emotion becomes a battlefield to decide who's feelings are more valid than the other, instead of trying to understand the other person. And one way they decide who the winner is; who can scream the loudest and who gets the last word in. Ladies, if you don't want to take time to *SILENTLY* sit down and understand your man, why bother demanding him to speak about what he thinks and how he feels? You clearly don't care if all you want to do, at the end of it all, is to get the last word in and be the "Winner" of the discussion.
I'm in a completely working and loving relationship and one day I told my woman all the things I don't ever say, things I just do and don't do but also dont tell her about in order just to keep peace and she was completely blown about how much I really look out for her and how much I sacrifice myself to keep her happy.
Me personally as a woman I'm an empath and feel everything. When a man expresses his emotions to me I don't view him as being weak but at the same time I try to be the strong one for him and just validate his feelings. Especially when a man cries I do this so that to keep myself from crying.
"me as an empath"- mam respectfully thats new new age speak. All ppl are empathetic especially sociopaths cause they know how to manipulate it. its a normal human condition. Thats like sayin "me as an air breather".
We need to learn as a community that everything starts with communication, and understand what communication actually is. It's speaking to someone and not at them. Then listening to understand before responding.
The reason why a marriage last 30, 40 years is because men pick and choose what we share, and we stay to ourselves cause it's safer. And no matter what a woman says, we know what we share will be used against us, so we stay quiet. I'll never share how I feel with a woman
It’s tough man, my uncle passed n I couldn’t even talk abt it to my girl, just had to play it off like “a family member passed. It happens”, prayer is my real backbone
@@Truefreefamily Because women a 100TB iPads! When you least expect it, they’ll weaponize something you either did or shared in the past. Wanna know who they wouldn’t dare do that shit, to?! POOKIE & RayRay.
One thing I've noticed that's consistent on all the platforms dealing in relationship/gender difference. When women take personal offense to something that's generally true, they won't admit to being a part of the type of woman that's being generalized. They'll simply defend the argument with personal situations under the guise of defending all women. When a woman isn't a part of the type of women being generalized, they won't just say the man is correct and they know it also to be true. They'll simply say that they're personally not like that or not all women are like that or like they don't know what the man is talking (play dumb). It's deeper than just not wanting to take accountability for anything. I'm almost 100% positive that most women even notice this subtle switch in their response unless being intentionally deceitful. I really think it's fear of losing their "Halo" privilege. The fear of losing the benefit of the doubt in every scenario they use feelings to justify despicable behavior. The fear of being responsible for their actions by blindly justifying the actions of women who just happen to be terrible human beings in the same way that some men are truly terrible human beings. If you really want to know who a woman is, don't ask to look at her social media or messages. Ask to see her musical playlists. There's a separate one for every mood. You can learn a lot about a woman by the music she consumes and recites because she connects to it on a deep emotional level. Me personally, Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion, City Girls, and most recently GloRilla as well as others are some of my red flag artists. Once I point out to a woman that the men being talked about in those songs are not even men they would respect if they got away with that behavior 🤯 They don't even realize it. All that flexing can only be performed on weak men so what are you celebrating? What did you win except successful prostitution? We all have to get back to what's important and that's family legacy. Not vacations and giving our hard earned dollars right back to people who could care less about our community or the death accumulated in appearing wealthy. #KingsOfHeartUniversity 💯👑🖤💪🏿
She was all over the place. She said "Yall" referring to men multiple times, but the minute he said "Yall" she hung onto that and said "not all women".
Thats because he doesn't know how to talk to women. My grandmother was a headhunter fir blue cross blue shield, she told me that (paraphrasing) when giving a woman an example make sure you dont infer they are part of that sample size. They will internalize the negative and become defensive and combative.
@@jrr7031 but she did the exact same thing so I guess she doesn't know how to talk to men either. Has nothing to do with not knowing how to talk to women. It's about some people not knowing discernment
The Chris Brown thing was funny. Brian McKnight has historically had marital issues and on the Tom Joyner morning show Jay Anthony Brown asked “How does the king of love songs have marriage issues” (paraphrasing) and he essentially said, “Those are just songs.” She gotta do better.
She’s like a child to me .. she was laughing and it was like she didn’t quite understand nothing he was saying to fully grasp the concept or questions and that was annoying to me ! She doesn’t understand or is even trying to understand men at all
8:47 That face says it all. I wouldn't have even kept going honestly. She knew what she was doing and than when she was cornered she rolled her eyes about it and laughed it off as a silly joke.
As a woman I know it's my responsibility to make sure my man knows he is heard and I also validate his feelings. It's clear she truly doesn't understand this concept.
She’s not even aware of this concept. Most women are only concerned with how they feel and their happiness. They don’t have to consider others because the world bends to their desires. I think this is why children raised by single fathers have better outcomes than children raised by single mothers. Men have to be grounded in reality and aware of others because if they’re not they fail.
I’m a woman and wouldn’t marry her butt if I was a man ! She lacks any sympathy for what black men go through and basically saying women have mental health issue we deal with it , ok cool but when a man says that to most people he is looked at as weak or just deal with it and that’s not cool ! The world pacifies women more than men on issues like that and if she doesn’t know that by now something is wrong with her
2 ears, 1 mouth. There's a reason for it. It's best to listen in order to comprehend and then respond, rather than listening to interpret with your own emotions involved without really understanding what's actually being put across.
She TOTALLY proved his point of Women being “HORRENDOUS Listeners” because she WASN’T listening to the ish SHE said…. She Faulted Men for NOT speaking up AFTER admitting that Women DON’T make their surroundings COMFORTABLE enough for him TO speak up…. I LITERALLY told my wife one day that she DOESN’T get to tell me that she DIDN’T disrespect me with her words, only for her to say the EXACT SAME SHYT I said to HER to her VERY disrespectful 19yr old daughter (My stepdaughter)…. And to KEEP the peace I ATE that shyt!! Which TOTALLY speaks to the “COMPROMISE” that us Husbands Go Thru….And that there’s OFTEN NO SAFE place for us TO voice what we feel….. So I EAT THAT, And be blessed that she’ll show me love ELSEWHERE….
Deal with your issues, sure. Seek professional help. Do NOT confide anything into a wife or girlfriend that you’re not prepared to have used against you at some point… EDIT: I’m not scared or intimidated…just old enough to know there’s a point where I’ll run into a massive degree of duplicity.
A man must keep his emotions in check. Otherwise he may fall victim to his emotions like many women have. And no one will come to his rescue. We are not women. Still in your masculine frame fellas.
Another great job Alan...your female interviewees more often than not seem to confirm and validate lots of bm's choices...they seem to truly only care about themselves and what they want...seems to be less care than there is even consideration as to what ANY man desires, much less the ones they themselves desire...how are men supposed to reconcile that on top of the distasteful attitudes and presentation? in the face of us being clear about finding those things "unfavorable" to say the least?
It's crazy how she interrupted him at the 5 SEC mark to say "I don't talk over guys." I swear... there is a SERIOUS disconnect between what W say and what they do. The lack of self-awareness is astonishing... If it wasn't for s3x, there would be absolutely ZERO reasons for M to interact with MOST W...
These conversations won't go anywhere because dude is not assertive enough when making his points. He's trying his best to appear non combative but black women's mindset is to be passive and deflecting because they were wired to do or to say whatever is necessary to "win" the conversation. This is the reason why nice guy most times loses out to aggressive street dudes. Being assertive is the key when dealing with black women....it was hard for me to finish listening to this conversation.
She actually made the point as to why men don't feel comfortable sharing what they're going through or feelings without even trying to. As soon as the question came up she deflected to what all women go through and men on a granular level feel that all the time. We cant tell women by and large what we're going through without it turning into the struggle Olympics
Sometimes us men make sure we figure out when and how much we share emotionally, we can’t just be pillow talking everything cause we know if used against us it can get a grip on us , we gotta make sure what we share isn’t used against us when the significant other is upset and looking for a reason for what’s happening between us and we know sometimes not only women but people talk a lot so we can’t just spread our deepest emotions/insecurities out there
This is a perfect yet terrible example of an average black woman's thoughts on a black man's feelings. The mental gymnastics and matrix dodging of any accountability was astounding. Not to mention the default examples of men being wrong in some way while she attempted to deflect. And this is what a man is supposed to be in a relationship with!?! Women like her need to take a course on correcting their mindset toward a man before having a man.
It’s hard to gauge healthiness in relationships when even in casual conversations (that could introduce relationships,) we have no space to express ourselves to open up a vulnerable place for both of us
It boggles my mind on how far gone, or lack of knowledge these women lack. It’s kinda scary… I listen and watch to hear them say, “I’m just playing,” but the delusions get worse and worse. I’ve come to the conclusion that if you just let them talk, they’ll eventually contradict themselves.
That's what a woman's position in a relationship is creating a peaceful environment. Woman are not because they want to be men and force and push, instead of persuade and charm....
You: "black men are the most emotional men on the planet." Me: hello, police? I need to report an assassination. The #notall police: 🤬👮🤬👮 Also Me: No. Not you.
In all seriousness though, there is a clear separation between the power of emotions over black men's behavior and the power of emotions over men of other races' behavior, at least in many parts of the West. There's a pretty strong trend towards nearly- clinical, if not *actually* clinical, narcissism in the black community at large.
These interviews always amaze me how much more thoughtful men are in compared to women. It feels like women don't understand how anything works they just walk around feeling s*** and hoping for the best
So many words... Yet not a single cohesive and concrete thought out of her. Love it how she got defensive about generality of women behavior and claims not all women... Looking for the exceptions....yet, when she criticizes men...she uses generalities... The need to be right is greater than the willingness to take accountability.
Women have been downplayed? Men been dealing with this. In the book “Love and Respect”, Dr. Emerson Eggrichs made great points but one thing that stood out was even though. Aretha made the song Respect a hit, it was written and first released by Otis Redding regarding his wife. He released it in 1965. Even men back in that day wasn’t getting Respect.
She's quick to point out how easily she would break a marriage and wonders why men don't just do the same. Of course most women don't listen. Same goes for my wife but we still have a family and household to run. Men "man up" and focus on duty, not feelings. It's not like we're going to leave the woman we're with and go find a unicorn that listens and does everything we want. Her mindset is that there's always a better man out there. Good luck to her as the clock keeps ticking.
Please stop interviewing this woman she is openly showing you WHY!!!! she is single she has no clue at all how men think how we operate what we go through on a daily basis this woman is clueless bad.
Great conversation Dr. Obi haha. One thing that I noticed with a lot of black women is they refuse to emphasize with black men. Almost like they tell themselves if I acknowledge what this black man is going through then it invalidates my experience and that is far from the truth. It’s really sad because I think this would actually bring us closer and strengthen the relationship.
I tried telling my wife my problems. Big mistake. Now, whenever we have an argument, she uses them as ammunition to try to 'win' the argument. Better off talking to your boys or a therapist.
Young dudes, feel free to express you "feeling", emotions and intermost secrets if you want to. If you know black women(women in general) like I do, everything will be used against you. Every intimate detail you exposed will be shared to her mom, sister and best friend as a casual conversation. And when you upset her, she will use your feelings to attack you. Go ahead and play dumb. It's 2022 and y'all supposed to have "emotional intelligence". 😳🤨😐
6:27 it's not that we don't try to talk it's that they don't actually listen and do exactly what she is doing. Ignoring the message and just speaking over it. The message is right in front of her and she pushes it to the side and STILL ASKS WHY MEN DONT SPEAK UP. Simple, it becomes weaponized and or you won't listen to understand. Either way you go it has the same result.
I had to pause the video @1:44 to say that yes women, to speak on black women for now, have gone through a lot for centuries, but so have our black men. The only difference between the two is black women's pain get acknowledged while black men get told to suck it, be a man, and laughed at. You can't say that men should be more in touch with their feelings then turn back around and say that men don't need to be nurtured about their mental health. You're contradicting yourself sweetie while invalidating the fact that men's mental health needs to be advocated for as much as women's mental health is advocated for.
Thank you for saying that! I caught the same thing she said and was like “huh???” She is one of the few interviewees on this platform that got on my nerves lol.
When my wife talked over me without noticing, I stopped talking waited for her to finish and ended the conversation and the few times she noticed and asked what I had to say, I told her that ship had sailed and never went back to that topic or brought it up when she was ready to listen. It worked for me, now she listens.
I love this woman. We talk over men when they try to express their feelings. Men need to learn how to express their feelings. NEVER Maybe women need to act like men's feelings matter, and shut up. Or, maybe women don't know what the hell is going on with men.
@@justinthomas5512 you would have a more productive time talking to a wall - at least a wall doesn't interrupt you and make the conversation about itself.
She didn't do well in this video. She spoke in 2 long streams of consciousness. It was as if she didn't think about her response she essentially wanted to hear herself talking.
Never tell women your feelings… talk to your male friends instead. Men will help you with advice and emotional support. Never show weakness to your women. It will dry her up and she will eventually leave. Most men struggling with their feelings don’t have a strong network of masculine friends to lean on…
@@fragmentsofmemory Thank you for the comment. I'd advice you to find friends you can trust. My advice in my initial comment was to get a network of masculine friends...Untrustworthy men are not masculine men. If your friends make fun of your problems after you open up to them, they aren't your friends.... Women are usually unsympathetic to male problems because they haven't gone thru the same experiences, you need male friends who have had similar experience and get clear advice. best of luck...
Most women can't be good listeners because of ego; When men share their heart or mind, we are too quick to correct, blame, discredit, or misinterpret a man's thoughts. That's an instant way to ensure he doesn't open up to you again. I had to TRAIN myself to be a good listener to my husband by first becoming not easily offended by how men think and how they say it. Next, I started to listen to him with respect for his difference of opinion and perspective. Once I removed my ego, I became a much better listener in this regard.
Shes single because she would never listen. And men have taking her advice she just hasnt come to that realization. Shes both correct and obtuse. Men should speak up, the ones in her life did, she talked over them or heard what she wanted to hear or waited to respond instead of listen to comprehend what was said
Guys are saying how they feel. But then that either gets dismissed or they are told that it's toxic or misogynistic or wrong or told how they should feel instead. Or even worse, what they say get used against them in an argument or told to a friend who let's it slip out that you told.
Im so glad you broke it down at the end how you did cuz this was making me furious listening to it. How you just don’t pay attention to anything? The generation before us did a terrible job “raising” these girls to women and I be trying not to get mad when I talk to them/hear them talk but BRUH…. Like come tf on man. You’re doing the Lord’s work my man. Keep grindin ✊🏿
Bro im here working late agaim and you video dropped right on time. But again the conversation gets cut so short. It felt productive from both ends but so many points could still be made and discussed. It feels like tbe conversation isnt finished. Need the rest great content as usual.
Again, another gem of an interview that shows once again how little Black women know or care to understand how Black men are. It is all about them or men need to behave like a woman does. It's shameful!
She was proving your point this whole interview.
Yes lawd. She definitely was not a good listener at all.
It happened in real time....he ask her if she thought she was aware...she had no ideal what was going on 😅😅😅
As soon as he made a point about talking over men she jumped in and said no I wouldn't say that LOL
Irony lol
Immediately 😂
They are children
When asked if she would be aware, he was referring to this very instance, but that went over her.
Because her female instinct picked up on the fact that he was trying hard to be non combative so instinctively she became more assertive in her demeanor.
WTF.....what is she talking about. Most guys are in touch with their feelings. We just can't share them with our women because it's seen as a weakness.
This is facts
I thought she was going to say Will Smith as an example!
Also, sometimes we not experiencing the feelings they want us to feel. We just don't focus on feelings a lot of time because it's not that big a deal. When women cry after a traumatic event a guy might not even feel like crying. Me personally sometimes I just don't feel anything but can tell you what I think. Also men process things with action. We are not as verbal or as outwardly expressive and we work off logic. We live in a competitive sphere at all times and so we have to operate based on reason and logic. Men have to step back and process emotions and think about what's on their mind, so our minds and emotions are less connected. There is more detachment. Instead of trying to get guys to cry and talk about feelings we should let them deal with it in a way that works. We trying to get men who identify as men, born as men, to act like bio women who identify as women.
I sincerely don't comprehend how this simple concept is so hard for them to grasp. In the video in real time you could tell on her face an response she didn't get it and he articulated himself perfectly...this feels hopeless lol
I've been married for almost 30 years. My wife is a very poor listener. I actually avoid trying to have long conversations for that reason. In all other aspects she's the best. But when decisions need to be made those convos are short and to the point.
Do you think she really cares about what you have to say?
@@djvnkc yes it just takes a few times to get through sometimes.
@@diamondjim55 it's the way they're made. It takes conscious effort on their part to be aware of it, and overcome it.
My wife is the same way, she keeps trying to interpret what I'm saying based off how what I'm saying makes her feel, 🤦🏾♂️ it's fucking exhausting so I avoid that shit and just say here's what needs to be done you can do what I'm telling you or not, but for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction 🤷🏾♂️
@@Correctmeifimwrongpod I agree my wife does the same so I just keep things to my self
I’m sure interactions like this is a prime example as to why men aren’t expressing themselves to us women. Taking notes and making proper adjustments to be more receptive. 💪🏽
Yes ma'am. Who you telling. Same over here sis🙏🏾
I appreciate that
great attitude! bravo!
@@djvnkc WE*
This woman makes absolutely so sense.
But these are our women, old & young. She’s the representative of about 80% of BW.
@@djvnkc *YELLS AT THE SKY AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS *
@@djvnkc 80%?
Hopefully not. 😣
@@djvnkc if you can’t provide statistical facts of black women not listening please don’t not show unrealistic data because that creates false narrative and creates more communication barriers between the too.
@@Truefreefamily my bad thought the obvious
th-cam.com/video/_Qgw0r29GYw/w-d-xo.html
"Men's feelings aren't validated."
"HOW?!?!"
"To be a ma..."
"I FEEL LIKE (proceeds to victimize women in her answer and completely disregard/ignore his attempt to explain)
She asks how to make men feel more emotionally understood then immediately interrupts, overspeaks and speculates what the answer could be.
You can’t make this ish up. I quit
Godfather says"...God-damn it!!!". 😆😆😆
*They don't care... they just want it to be their way, not what it actually is.*
@@thegeneral1418 💯💯💯
Dang, as I read 📚BOP 😕 "Like Now"? Too chill!
This should be a case study on the sheer lack of awareness of the current realities of relationships.
She had ZERO SELF-AWARENESS!!
This is part of the "me me me" self obsorbed culture.
Love how she spent half the interview talking over the interviewer, but still wonders why men don't bother trying to express themselves to her or women at large. For women, more often times than not, an expression of emotion becomes a battlefield to decide who's feelings are more valid than the other, instead of trying to understand the other person. And one way they decide who the winner is; who can scream the loudest and who gets the last word in.
Ladies, if you don't want to take time to *SILENTLY* sit down and understand your man, why bother demanding him to speak about what he thinks and how he feels? You clearly don't care if all you want to do, at the end of it all, is to get the last word in and be the "Winner" of the discussion.
Right. The problem is a lot of women contradict themselves often.
Because to them, it's a constant competition with men.
She got them CRAZY EYES and OVERLY independent spirit. She for the streets fellas!
She does have "crazy eyes".
🎯🎯
Her body language shows it
I'm in a completely working and loving relationship and one day I told my woman all the things I don't ever say, things I just do and don't do but also dont tell her about in order just to keep peace and she was completely blown about how much I really look out for her and how much I sacrifice myself to keep her happy.
Sounds like Alan need to interview YOU. I want to hear this story in more detail.
@Alex Minor I'd love to participate, but my gf is white and I know Alan strictly promotes black love
She over talks him the whole time and literally just said she doesn't over talk
Thought I was the only one seeing that.
The FIRST thing I noticed.
They JUST Don't care about anyone else, At ALL.
As soon as a man becomes vulnerable, he will depreciate in her eyes as weak and emotional like HER.
Women DO NOT want emotional men.
Me personally as a woman I'm an empath and feel everything. When a man expresses his emotions to me I don't view him as being weak but at the same time I try to be the strong one for him and just validate his feelings. Especially when a man cries I do this so that to keep myself from crying.
"me as an empath"- mam respectfully thats new new age speak. All ppl are empathetic especially sociopaths cause they know how to manipulate it. its a normal human condition. Thats like sayin "me as an air breather".
We need to learn as a community that everything starts with communication, and understand what communication actually is. It's speaking to someone and not at them. Then listening to understand before responding.
The reason why a marriage last 30, 40 years is because men pick and choose what we share, and we stay to ourselves cause it's safer. And no matter what a woman says, we know what we share will be used against us, so we stay quiet. I'll never share how I feel with a woman
Man…I wish it wAsnt like this😒😔😓👈🏾
It’s tough man, my uncle passed n I couldn’t even talk abt it to my girl, just had to play it off like “a family member passed. It happens”, prayer is my real backbone
So question, why are y’all so worried about women using things against you?
@@Truefreefamily This is one of the dumbest questions I've ever heard
@@Truefreefamily
Because women a 100TB iPads! When you least expect it, they’ll weaponize something you either did or shared in the past. Wanna know who they wouldn’t dare do that shit, to?! POOKIE & RayRay.
One thing I've noticed that's consistent on all the platforms dealing in relationship/gender difference. When women take personal offense to something that's generally true, they won't admit to being a part of the type of woman that's being generalized. They'll simply defend the argument with personal situations under the guise of defending all women. When a woman isn't a part of the type of women being generalized, they won't just say the man is correct and they know it also to be true. They'll simply say that they're personally not like that or not all women are like that or like they don't know what the man is talking (play dumb).
It's deeper than just not wanting to take accountability for anything. I'm almost 100% positive that most women even notice this subtle switch in their response unless being intentionally deceitful.
I really think it's fear of losing their "Halo" privilege. The fear of losing the benefit of the doubt in every scenario they use feelings to justify despicable behavior. The fear of being responsible for their actions by blindly justifying the actions of women who just happen to be terrible human beings in the same way that some men are truly terrible human beings.
If you really want to know who a woman is, don't ask to look at her social media or messages. Ask to see her musical playlists. There's a separate one for every mood. You can learn a lot about a woman by the music she consumes and recites because she connects to it on a deep emotional level.
Me personally, Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion, City Girls, and most recently GloRilla as well as others are some of my red flag artists. Once I point out to a woman that the men being talked about in those songs are not even men they would respect if they got away with that behavior 🤯
They don't even realize it. All that flexing can only be performed on weak men so what are you celebrating? What did you win except successful prostitution?
We all have to get back to what's important and that's family legacy. Not vacations and giving our hard earned dollars right back to people who could care less about our community or the death accumulated in appearing wealthy.
#KingsOfHeartUniversity 💯👑🖤💪🏿
Insightful on the music choices
🙌🏾
A woman will preach to a man about being in touch with his emotions, and as soon as a man expresses his emotions, he gets dogged.
She was all over the place. She said "Yall" referring to men multiple times, but the minute he said "Yall" she hung onto that and said "not all women".
You caught that also.
@@christopherharris881 yup and she didn't even realize it
Thats because he doesn't know how to talk to women. My grandmother was a headhunter fir blue cross blue shield, she told me that (paraphrasing) when giving a woman an example make sure you dont infer they are part of that sample size. They will internalize the negative and become defensive and combative.
@@jrr7031 but she did the exact same thing so I guess she doesn't know how to talk to men either. Has nothing to do with not knowing how to talk to women. It's about some people not knowing discernment
@@Realist2001 zero accountability for these modern women.
The Chris Brown thing was funny. Brian McKnight has historically had marital issues and on the Tom Joyner morning show Jay Anthony Brown asked “How does the king of love songs have marriage issues” (paraphrasing) and he essentially said, “Those are just songs.” She gotta do better.
Definitely avoid women like this.
She’s like a child to me .. she was laughing and it was like she didn’t quite understand nothing he was saying to fully grasp the concept or questions and that was annoying to me ! She doesn’t understand or is even trying to understand men at all
You are good Bruh!! At the end she was forced to listen to how you say most women don’t listen, classic!!
I’m glad I have a rare one. She actually listens and not only that, she processes, computes, and comprehends.
8:47 That face says it all. I wouldn't have even kept going honestly. She knew what she was doing and than when she was cornered she rolled her eyes about it and laughed it off as a silly joke.
💯
Men are not always in touch with a woman's feelings. Women don't often think a mans feelings are important to theirs.
As a woman I know it's my responsibility to make sure my man knows he is heard and I also validate his feelings. It's clear she truly doesn't understand this concept.
Unfortunately the majority dont
She’s not even aware of this concept. Most women are only concerned with how they feel and their happiness. They don’t have to consider others because the world bends to their desires. I think this is why children raised by single fathers have better outcomes than children raised by single mothers. Men have to be grounded in reality and aware of others because if they’re not they fail.
Why do so many women not consider it a responsibility of theirs?
She don’t give a dam
I’m a woman and wouldn’t marry her butt if I was a man ! She lacks any sympathy for what black men go through and basically saying women have mental health issue we deal with it , ok cool but when a man says that to most people he is looked at as weak or just deal with it and that’s not cool ! The world pacifies women more than men on issues like that and if she doesn’t know that by now something is wrong with her
2 ears, 1 mouth. There's a reason for it. It's best to listen in order to comprehend and then respond, rather than listening to interpret with your own emotions involved without really understanding what's actually being put across.
Ssssshhhhh stop making sense apparently it’s lacking today
10:30 is the exact reason why men are literally not getting married at high rates anymore. Thank you for proving his point.
Facts I can only tell my girl half the truth
She TOTALLY proved his point of Women being “HORRENDOUS Listeners” because she WASN’T listening to the ish SHE said….
She Faulted Men for NOT speaking up AFTER admitting that Women DON’T make their surroundings COMFORTABLE enough for him TO speak up….
I LITERALLY told my wife one day that she DOESN’T get to tell me that she DIDN’T disrespect me with her words, only for her to say the EXACT SAME SHYT I said to HER to her VERY disrespectful 19yr old daughter (My stepdaughter)….
And to KEEP the peace I ATE that shyt!! Which TOTALLY speaks to the “COMPROMISE” that us Husbands Go Thru….And that there’s OFTEN NO SAFE place for us TO voice what we feel…..
So I EAT THAT, And be blessed that she’ll show me love ELSEWHERE….
Deal with your issues, sure. Seek professional help. Do NOT confide anything into a wife or girlfriend that you’re not prepared to have used against you at some point… EDIT: I’m not scared or intimidated…just old enough to know there’s a point where I’ll run into a massive degree of duplicity.
Exactly this.
A man must keep his emotions in check. Otherwise he may fall victim to his emotions like many women have. And no one will come to his rescue. We are not women. Still in your masculine frame fellas.
Another great job Alan...your female interviewees more often than not seem to confirm and validate lots of bm's choices...they seem to truly only care about themselves and what they want...seems to be less care than there is even consideration as to what ANY man desires, much less the ones they themselves desire...how are men supposed to reconcile that on top of the distasteful attitudes and presentation? in the face of us being clear about finding those things "unfavorable" to say the least?
This is Facts
Alan hits the nail on the head in every interview. Seems like you are truly a marksman in this space. Keep up the good work.
BIG FACTS… my mother and grandmother interrupt men all of the time and try finish our sentences like they know everything it’s so annoying
I find it hilarious that she cuts him off to say "Well I wouldn't say that I talk over a guy..."😅
"These hos ain't loyal" - Chris Brown
LMAO
It is two things I don't like as a man one being over talked and two being underestimated.
It's crazy how she interrupted him at the 5 SEC mark to say "I don't talk over guys."
I swear... there is a SERIOUS disconnect between what W say and what they do.
The lack of self-awareness is astonishing...
If it wasn't for s3x, there would be absolutely ZERO reasons for M to interact with MOST W...
This woman is literally proving Allen point 🤦🏾♂️
The only thing I can say is thank you sister thank you brother I am speechless after this it has just been a real blessing thank you
The thumbnail says it all.
Pretty much...😞
ANY and I mean ANY woman who sticks up their middle finger in a picture is masculine and deserves to be single forever!
It's amazingly tacky!!
These conversations won't go anywhere because dude is not assertive enough when making his points. He's trying his best to appear non combative but black women's mindset is to be passive and deflecting because they were wired to do or to say whatever is necessary to "win" the conversation. This is the reason why nice guy most times loses out to aggressive street dudes. Being assertive is the key when dealing with black women....it was hard for me to finish listening to this conversation.
😂😂😂😂
She actually made the point as to why men don't feel comfortable sharing what they're going through or feelings without even trying to. As soon as the question came up she deflected to what all women go through and men on a granular level feel that all the time. We cant tell women by and large what we're going through without it turning into the struggle Olympics
Not even 4 minutes in and I’m done ALREADY.
…but I’ll continue to listen…
You should do an episode on empathy. I think her whole interview can be summed up as "it's on you bro".
Sometimes us men make sure we figure out when and how much we share emotionally, we can’t just be pillow talking everything cause we know if used against us it can get a grip on us , we gotta make sure what we share isn’t used against us when the significant other is upset and looking for a reason for what’s happening between us and we know sometimes not only women but people talk a lot so we can’t just spread our deepest emotions/insecurities out there
Wow. Y'all men are very calculated when y'all express how y'all feel. It makes sense.
*This just continues to prove that women don't understand men at all.*
This is a perfect yet terrible example of an average black woman's thoughts on a black man's feelings. The mental gymnastics and matrix dodging of any accountability was astounding. Not to mention the default examples of men being wrong in some way while she attempted to deflect. And this is what a man is supposed to be in a relationship with!?! Women like her need to take a course on correcting their mindset toward a man before having a man.
It’s hard to gauge healthiness in relationships when even in casual conversations (that could introduce relationships,) we have no space to express ourselves to open up a vulnerable place for both of us
I don't think a man can be emotional in society. We ALWAYS have to be strong.
Lol this lady proved that brother’s point right out the gate as far as them talking over men.
😂🤦🏽♂️😂🤦🏽♂️😂🤦🏽♂️😂
It boggles my mind on how far gone, or lack of knowledge these women lack. It’s kinda scary… I listen and watch to hear them say, “I’m just playing,” but the delusions get worse and worse. I’ve come to the conclusion that if you just let them talk, they’ll eventually contradict themselves.
Now women are told to go to work and bring the bag? Lady, y'all want that.
Can we get more interviews with the married men? Or did I miss those
That's what a woman's position in a relationship is creating a peaceful environment. Woman are not because they want to be men and force and push, instead of persuade and charm....
This is a prime example of the difficulties men face. None of are perfect, but some don’t even try.
LMFAO!! I can't even watch I'm done... 🤷🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤌🏿🧘🏿♂️
Black men are not in touch with their feelings? Black men are the most emotional men on the planet.
You: "black men are the most emotional men on the planet."
Me: hello, police? I need to report an assassination.
The #notall police: 🤬👮🤬👮
Also Me: No. Not you.
In all seriousness though, there is a clear separation between the power of emotions over black men's behavior and the power of emotions over men of other races' behavior, at least in many parts of the West.
There's a pretty strong trend towards nearly- clinical, if not *actually* clinical, narcissism in the black community at large.
Women have been going through things for centuries.
So like, our male ancestors just chilled out for centuries?
These interviews always amaze me how much more thoughtful men are in compared to women. It feels like women don't understand how anything works they just walk around feeling s*** and hoping for the best
So many words... Yet not a single cohesive and concrete thought out of her. Love it how she got defensive about generality of women behavior and claims not all women... Looking for the exceptions....yet, when she criticizes men...she uses generalities... The need to be right is greater than the willingness to take accountability.
Women have been downplayed? Men been dealing with this. In the book “Love and Respect”, Dr. Emerson Eggrichs made great points but one thing that stood out was even though. Aretha made the song Respect a hit, it was written and first released by Otis Redding regarding his wife. He released it in 1965. Even men back in that day wasn’t getting Respect.
As soon as she sat down she covered her stomach. Lol why choose that shirt? But hey who am I do you boo boo😂😂😂
She's quick to point out how easily she would break a marriage and wonders why men don't just do the same. Of course most women don't listen. Same goes for my wife but we still have a family and household to run. Men "man up" and focus on duty, not feelings. It's not like we're going to leave the woman we're with and go find a unicorn that listens and does everything we want. Her mindset is that there's always a better man out there. Good luck to her as the clock keeps ticking.
Please stop interviewing this woman she is openly showing you WHY!!!! she is single she has no clue at all how men think how we operate what we go through on a daily basis this woman is clueless bad.
Great conversation Dr. Obi haha. One thing that I noticed with a lot of black women is they refuse to emphasize with black men. Almost like they tell themselves if I acknowledge what this black man is going through then it invalidates my experience and that is far from the truth. It’s really sad because I think this would actually bring us closer and strengthen the relationship.
@@Truefreefamily Not trying to argue. It’s just an observation I made about some of black women.
Women's favorite saying is I don't know.
Okay so FIGURE OUT. Imagine that
Keep up the great work. You videos are truly appreciate in actually have a conversation on topic instead of a yelling match.
Him:To be a man.(interrupted)
Her:I feel…
She’s been infected and clearly gone.
Infected Lol
I tried telling my wife my problems. Big mistake. Now, whenever we have an argument, she uses them as ammunition to try to 'win' the argument. Better off talking to your boys or a therapist.
I have a similar issue. My wife is more concerned with winning the argument than solving the issue.
why are yall even married. Do you think this is Sustainable for 15+ yrs? no wonder men die earlier than women and mainly from stress.
I always find it interesting to see a woman say they are surprised or find it weird for a man to ask for her to go and pay half of the bills.
Young dudes, feel free to express you "feeling", emotions and intermost secrets if you want to. If you know black women(women in general) like I do, everything will be used against you. Every intimate detail you exposed will be shared to her mom, sister and best friend as a casual conversation. And when you upset her, she will use your feelings to attack you. Go ahead and play dumb. It's 2022 and y'all supposed to have "emotional intelligence". 😳🤨😐
6:27 it's not that we don't try to talk it's that they don't actually listen and do exactly what she is doing. Ignoring the message and just speaking over it. The message is right in front of her and she pushes it to the side and STILL ASKS WHY MEN DONT SPEAK UP. Simple, it becomes weaponized and or you won't listen to understand. Either way you go it has the same result.
I had to pause the video @1:44 to say that yes women, to speak on black women for now, have gone through a lot for centuries, but so have our black men. The only difference between the two is black women's pain get acknowledged while black men get told to suck it, be a man, and laughed at. You can't say that men should be more in touch with their feelings then turn back around and say that men don't need to be nurtured about their mental health. You're contradicting yourself sweetie while invalidating the fact that men's mental health needs to be advocated for as much as women's mental health is advocated for.
Thank you for saying that! I caught the same thing she said and was like “huh???” She is one of the few interviewees on this platform that got on my nerves lol.
We don't feel like we need to nurture men's feelings after she said men need to be in touch with their feelings.🙄
Don't wanna bash her but she's proving your point very well
When my wife talked over me without noticing, I stopped talking waited for her to finish and ended the conversation and the few times she noticed and asked what I had to say, I told her that ship had sailed and never went back to that topic or brought it up when she was ready to listen. It worked for me, now she listens.
I love this woman. We talk over men when they try to express their feelings. Men need to learn how to express their feelings. NEVER Maybe women need to act like men's feelings matter, and shut up. Or, maybe women don't know what the hell is going on with men.
Yep silence is golden.
I'll just tell her I got now go talk to a wall turn around and walk away.
They don't know and in most cases they don't care to know.
@@justinthomas5512 you would have a more productive time talking to a wall - at least a wall doesn't interrupt you and make the conversation about itself.
@@jasonBGI True walls are not self absorbed.
She didn't do well in this video. She spoke in 2 long streams of consciousness. It was as if she didn't think about her response she essentially wanted to hear herself talking.
Never tell women your feelings… talk to your male friends instead. Men will help you with advice and emotional support. Never show weakness to your women. It will dry her up and she will eventually leave. Most men struggling with their feelings don’t have a strong network of masculine friends to lean on…
Unfortunately sometimes I don't think I can trust other men.
@@fragmentsofmemory Thank you for the comment. I'd advice you to find friends you can trust. My advice in my initial comment was to get a network of masculine friends...Untrustworthy men are not masculine men. If your friends make fun of your problems after you open up to them, they aren't your friends....
Women are usually unsympathetic to male problems because they haven't gone thru the same experiences, you need male friends who have had similar experience and get clear advice.
best of luck...
Another great commercial for SYSBM 🙏🏿
Most women can't be good listeners because of ego; When men share their heart or mind, we are too quick to correct, blame, discredit, or misinterpret a man's thoughts. That's an instant way to ensure he doesn't open up to you again. I had to TRAIN myself to be a good listener to my husband by first becoming not easily offended by how men think and how they say it. Next, I started to listen to him with respect for his difference of opinion and perspective. Once I removed my ego, I became a much better listener in this regard.
🧢🧢🧢
Listening is a LEARNED skill...
It's pointless talking to her.
Shes single because she would never listen. And men have taking her advice she just hasnt come to that realization. Shes both correct and obtuse. Men should speak up, the ones in her life did, she talked over them or heard what she wanted to hear or waited to respond instead of listen to comprehend what was said
Facts King 👑❤️🙏
I OPENED UP TO MY THEN WIFE AND SHE WALKED ON ME.
Morgan freeman is definitely in touch with his feelings and level headed with wisdom.
Guys are saying how they feel. But then that either gets dismissed or they are told that it's toxic or misogynistic or wrong or told how they should feel instead. Or even worse, what they say get used against them in an argument or told to a friend who let's it slip out that you told.
Im so glad you broke it down at the end how you did cuz this was making me furious listening to it. How you just don’t pay attention to anything? The generation before us did a terrible job “raising” these girls to women and I be trying not to get mad when I talk to them/hear them talk but BRUH…. Like come tf on man.
You’re doing the Lord’s work my man. Keep grindin ✊🏿
She has a conviction of Men in every reply. It’s no wonder she is single😢
She flat out over-talked him...while protesting that she doesn't over-talk men.
#YouCantMakeThisShitUp ~ Kevin Samuels
I love how she plays semantics and does the resch around and dip,duck,dodge on these questions
Bro im here working late agaim and you video dropped right on time. But again the conversation gets cut so short. It felt productive from both ends but so many points could still be made and discussed. It feels like tbe conversation isnt finished. Need the rest great content as usual.
She is confirming every point he is trying to make. She has no clue, and didn't listen instead of over talking the interviewer.
Chris brown the woman beater?
Hilarious. Purely hilarious.
Again, another gem of an interview that shows once again how little Black women know or care to understand how Black men are. It is all about them or men need to behave like a woman does. It's shameful!