“It could’ve ended tragically “. It did end tragically. You were a middle schooler who was sexually violated by a 50 year old man. This is straight up trauma.
jnnlis I get his point tho, I was lured off a playground by a grown man at 6, he molested me but let me go and I always say it could've ended way worse..sad fact but true
jnnlis he just said he wasnt traumatized and continued to do it. Some people are more resilient in life and dont necessarily carry hurt with them their whole life. U cant tell him how he should feel.
IttyBitty Lex whether or not someone calls something traumatic doesn’t mean it isn’t. He. Was. A. Child. Black children are so unprotected. I will not normalize this. He describes his parents not knowing what he was up to, sexual violation by an adult, and being ostracized for his sexuality. That is trauma for his young self. There are so many traumatized people walking around not knowing it-with others downplaying it, especially in this culture. I will not do that. He was brave to share. I hold my position that he was taken advantage of and that this is a trauma. People respond to trauma differently but I will not have you telling me a 50 plus year old lawyer picking up a 14 year old child in a park and taking them to a hotel to have sex with is not a trauma for that child FOH.
This is a very common story for a lot of gay youth, unfortunately. My first sexual experience was not voluntary (unfortunately) and it was with an older woman 10 years my senior. My best friend who was a gay man lost his virginity at 14 to a 33year old married man when Grindr first launched, I was so scared for his safety he called me and put his phone in his pocket so I could hear him if he needed help. A lot of us in the community put ourselves at risk because like you said we didn’t have normal innocent outlets to come of age into our sexuality.
I was a late bloomer thank God because my mother struck the fear of God in my heart! Not only were the girls my age having sex but literally having babies at 12, 13, etc. So my first time messing around I was 23, and I didn’t have full blown sex until 27. Oddly enough, the guy I messed around with for the first time was the same one I lost my virginity to. I know I waited very long, but I wanted to do it when I was ready, not because HE wanted it.
These truths are necessary. I had a female cousin who was gay. Before she passed we talked about how it was in the 90s and people trying to force boys on her. We knew...but she talked about how uncomfortable she felt being forced to go to the school dance and wear a dress. Looking at the pics you could tell. But I remember her "coming out" at my grandmother's funeral in 2000. She had on a suit and a hat and just looked free. She died in 07 due to a rare liver disease she had since birth but I'm glad that for at least 7 years she was able to be completely FREE. I know every parent dreams of their child marrying the opposite sex and living happily ever after with kids, because those are the biblical principles. I believe in that, however the bible also speaks on unconditional love. That means love a person through a disagreement. So for me I'm in support of happiness and although I may not agree with how you seek your happiness IT DOESN'T MATTER. I always tell people I dont want a MF telling me how to live my life and I dern sho ain't gone tell somebody else. Love you Dineva! Thanks for these real moments.
Same here my first male contact was 20-23..i was very late im a straight woman, one reason is because my mother and my church scared me straight as a teen lbvs Im grateful though when i finally did explore sex i was grown and in a solid relationship
I was 16-17 . I remembering wanting to do it at 12-13 but thank God it didn't happen. I had a friend who gave birth at 14. So yes people start early. To parents I would say your child's friend circle makes a huge difference. All of my friends were not into sex and that made me rethink many decisions. Had I been with another group of girls I would've done what they did. WATCH who your kids friends are, especially girls.
I have a 4yr old and I think about things like this happening. It weighs on me to even THINK of the notion that I can't protect my child. Predatory behavior is so rampant that I dont trust any one around my child. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Hopefully it brings you some sort of closure. Thanks for sharing your experience and POV.
Damn, you were exploited on roller blades by the devil . This could have turned out horrible but instead it gave you some insight. I hope parents are tuned into this. I don’t know why parents refuse to parent these days probably because their on social media and don’t have time too parent which is a damn shame. Folks also know if their raising gay children they just figure it will go away (ain’t that some sad shit) instead of facing the issue they turn it into a problem. I’m glad this ended the way it did for you and also glad you shared, you know you just helped someone if not a child hopefully a parent.
Firstly let me say,I'm so sorry this had to happen this way,2nd it was rape because of your age,3,rd I'm so glad your sharing tbis,I have a son who went thru something similar,an he was from that error,of the phone meet an greets ,but he told me later,I encourage my kids to be honest even if it hurt a tell the truth,
thank you for your honestly... people act like kids weren't and are currently fast now... so when i heat stories about "young girls" (teenagers) i look crazy because i know what they're talking about is some BS lol i've seen alot of things growing and working with kids in the past
15 with a 22 yr old 😟 stupid me, so that hours for straight & gay children. Parents need to listen and let their children know they are there to listen.
Yes! I did shit that I knew was wrong as well. My 17 year old self does not feel molested. I was 2 mos from 18 and guess what?- my mind was still the same from that time until I turned 18!
Sherry DC me too! I was leaving hs to go to his apartment! I realized he was much older when I saw his hs yearbook! He was the same age as my older sister! But he knew I was only 15... I been in love with older men ever since
So many of us gay men experienced sex the exact way you described! The shame was real, and it destroyed my sense of innocence! I had no one to talk to either, I was this kid with these feelings and no one to walk me through it! I prayed that I would find a community that embraced me. Not sure if, at 51, I’ve actually found that community!
This story scares me.....I have 14 year old twin sons😩 I would be livid if a MAN took advantage of them. 💔 it wasn’t until I was 18 that I had my first sexual experience, and I still think that was too young. We have these discussions even tho the twins hate when I pull out the PowerPoints to do an interactive presentations on sexual assault, rape culture, child sexual abuse, etc....I want them informed, make safe choices and not be contributors to the detriment of others. This was quite the share
Good for you momma! They will thank you for keeping the lines of communication open. My mom acted like sex didn’t exist and I had to get my info from the library.
Thats very good, my mom talked to me about sex actulally she scared me lol but if it wasnt for her and my church keeping such a grip on me i wouldnt have been able to wait until i was an adult (23) in a loving relationship to have my first sexual experience with a man.
As long as youve done your part! Theyll be fine...I remember being 14 yrs old..freshman in high school..the hormones and thought and feelings are definitely spinning constantly!! Stay open with them!! Grateful my parents were with me!! I waited till 18 as well!
I was 14 when I lost my virginity trying to 'fit it'. I regret it to this day. My daughter is 11 years old and has a phone. I check and monitor her phone daily and is restricted from having any form of social media. Times have changed drastically and I just want to protect her as much as I can.
Please do check her cell phone my daughter has one as well last year we had a situation where she met somebody on this site who claimed to be a female I want to be her friend my daughter is a dancer so that's how she got her thank God I caught it in time I took a phone of all my for almost a year I just gave it back yesterday I'm like you I'm checking it every chance I get and on expressway may God continue blessing you and children and cover them in the blood
Rosalyn Gaines oh no. I'm so sorry that happened. It's so damn scary now days. I check it constantlyyyyyyy to the point sometimes I feel like I'm doing to much. I have to protect me baby. I wont even allow those stupid musically apps. Keep your eyes peeled hun, take care.
Thank you for sharing your story because your story may help someone. Parents need to pay more attention and be more aware of their children's activities. Regardless of whatever, you are EXACTLY who you are supposed to be.
I hate that too!! Just except it Hell your not the one who is doing it!! Let people like what they like. I believe people are born gay not that they just wake up one day and say I'm going to be gay!! So live and let live!!
I haven’t even started the video but I can identify with the title. I was 12/13 and he was 35, that’s how I lost my virginity. I normally lie about how I lost it. Who wants to say “I met a man off blackplanet and lost my virginity to him that young”? And he knew how old I was because I told him after lying and saying I was 18. Crazy enough, he was also a young basketball coach. I pray those kids were safe.
MarQui Jae I can relate. Im a female and was 16 when i lost my virginity to a 24 year old. I was young, immature and looking for "love" in all the wrong places. Plus it was in a park not a hotel or anything. I honestly cant say i regret it. Im 31 now and some of the things I've done while a teenager has shaped me the adult i have become today. Im married and have a degree. I just know to have a better relationship with my kids(when i do have one) so that my child won't have to look for love in the wrong place
Lord, Dineva. You are a victim. It is NEVER acceptable for an adult to court or have relationships/sex with a minor, whether you were willing or not. He was the adult. Taking your innocence was wrong on so many levels. I applaud you for sharing and maybe providing caution for parents. I thank God for covering you even then. You could have been a murder victim and your family would have been devistated. #CoveringOfGod
Being rape and molested at a very tender age of 5 which lasted over the course of years by different men. Lead me to my attraction to older men,plus as I got older it was the in thing to be persude by a older man. It was until I was in college in my 20's that I truly began to understand what had occured in those times. I had repressed the memory of the incidents that now in my 30's with a male child of my own scares the hell out of me. Because I never want him to suffer insilence like I did for all those years. I tried to take my life because I didn't want to face the fact I allowed that to happen to myself. Please please protect your babies. Watch your family members especially!
I liked this. I think those of us raised during the early 90's, we didn't see the harm in dating/talking to older men. It seemed like the "cool" thing to do. But today's culture would call it "predatory." Interesting take.
exactly... so when people bring up old stories to accuse people i think to my self "that's not fair it was a different time and if you didn't care then dont care now" not saying it was right but dont ruin someone's livelihood for something you willingly participated in !
I disagree. A 14 year old child having sex with a 50 year old has never been socially acceptable. A 14 year old cannot "date" a 50 year old, no matter how supposedly willing the child is. It's always been rape in this society.
I don’t agree with this either. I have never been into older men. I always been attracted to men in my age bracket since I started fucking. I am 32 and I never been with a man in his 40s since I started having sex at at 17. When I was in my early 20s you couldn’t get me to talk to no man in his mid thirties
Yeah Q's age difference is a huge stretch for me but I was definitely "fast" in my day (even before I starting fucking bc I talked a REAL GOOD game to "play" dudes). At 14 it was nothing for a 20something yr old hood booger to try to screw. I lost my V at 16 but I remember wanting to lose it earlier I thought it would be so tight to lose it to an older man bc he would know what to "do". At 14 I "talked" to a 36yr old man that lived down the street. Baaaaaaby when I say that man scared the BEJEZUZ outta me with all of his lil nasty talk!!😂😂😂 I was like nah I ain't ready. Took 2 more years for me to build up the courage. But once I did EVERYONE I had sex with was in their 20's and I was 16. And they knew my age cuz I grew up with all of them! But it was so normal back then...just thinking back like WOW!!😔
Thank you for sharing this it takes real courage and strength to share this. I wish you the very best on your evolution as a young man. I am a therapist and telling your truth is the greatest form of self care. Thank you and continue your great work.
I was 20 and he was a 33 year old white police officer... My first "boyfriend" and kept me a secret. Then disappeared and married a woman. Worst experience of my life. I still deal with what he put me through mentally and emotionally to this day. I ended up speaking to the "woman" tho... Told her everything. He pressured me to let him take my virginity and claimed he was going to move to my town and we'd live together. He'd get angry with me if I hung out with my gay friends because he saw them as competition.... Yes of course he ended up also being racist and made excuses for racist people and homophobes as well... While I was of legal age I was still only 20 and he was 12 years older than me. There were many things he was able to convince me to do because I had no experience and believed most things he told me. I was very innocent, I wasn't a very sexual person at all, but I loved him and would have done anything for him and he knew that and used it to his advantage.
Thank you for sharing love and I hope you've healed from this! So do you think you were fetishized? A lot of ppl give these white predatory covert racist the benefit of the doubt, but they ultimately just consider it sex and look at their black counterparts as inferior 🤨
I do think I was fetishized to a point, but i think it had more to do with him wanting to have sex with young gay boys in general rather than just black ones. Me being black was an added component, but the "woman" he married is only a few months older than me so with that being said i think his thing is more about wanting to fuck young gay boys and young people in general hence the woman and I basically being the same age . Our racism arguments didnt actually come around until all the police brutality killings started, thats when we started having heated discussions over it but for a while that wasent an issue. His main thing was trying to hide his sexuality. He even went so far as to lie to me and tell me he was NOT Bisexual and that he was just Gay and that he was out of the closet, both of which turned out to be a lie, He did this knowing that I wouldn't have had anything to do with him had I known he was DL, everyone who knows me personally knows i'd never date someone like that knowingly and he knew it, so he lied to get me, which he ended up admitting to.
Omg baby no I am so sorry you went through that but you know what it wasn't your fault he was in denial about his sexuality and basically took it out on you he used you and that was not right at all I hope he got his Karma and if not it's going to come soon smh damn shame
experience bitch shut up let me tell you something in my eyes 20 years old is nothing but a year older than being 19 you are still a baby you don't have to be a rude nasty ass bitch and talk to him that way some people know better than others me for instance I was very wise and mature for my age but at the end of the day we all make mistakes and it's a learning experience how dare you put him down for what he's been through
Oh Q I feel for you on so many levels. Not having an outlet socially, not being able to have family or a friend to be to turn to. That man needed his ass whooped. I want hug you. I know you have come to terms with this but I'm happy you made it through and you are now here with us.
Nessa we appreciate your honesty! We need to be more open about where we come from it could possibly reroute someone heading down that same path! We love you nessa girl
That dam AOL had me hooked all day everyday!! So many “relationships” I had with guys miles away. Being 16 gay and black 😱😱 I don’t even know how I made it but your story fits into every part of my young life . So glad you shared this with the world and no good to hear that we weren’t the only ones going through it!
This cautionary tale fits ANY gender regardless of sexuality. You're talking 20 years ago. The current generation of teens, I don't know personally but as you stated with social media being what it is and the fact that parents are providing them with phones, this raises this issue to a whole other level. I hope today's parents are talking to their children about the possibilities of predatory actions. Sorry you had to experience this but the growth you show through your platform is commendable. Thanks for sharing. I pray someone can be saved from possible trauma as a result of this.
Great video like damn it doesnt get much more relatable then you on these TH-cam streets. Youre the only one that doesnt make things so dramatic and forced. Thanks for this!
Funky... I cannot express how appreciative I am of you always being so open and honest about your life experiences. I am a straight female but your openness and candour helps me to talk to my nieces & nephews. You are extremely intelligent & witty and I always near my phone waiting on your call! Thank you. Thank you and keep doing what you do and how you do it because you are phenomenal. Oh yeah, your appearance on Queens Supreme Court was the absolute best! I wish you all could work it out to where you would be the guest judge once a month. I love you boo! 😀
I commend you for speaking your truth.. and as a mom and one of your biggest supports I feel so bad for the young boy who had their first sexual experience in an unpleasant way. Thank God that you were able to come out of that situation for the most part unharmed.. that grown ass man was so out of order for the entire act regardless if you were 14 or 17..
Listen man, when you said have an open dialogue, I screamedddd because I was just talking about this the other day. Parents don’t allow kids to speak or voice how their opinion and in turn silence their children causing a downward spiral.. I am glad you owned your truth and shared this will is.
Much respect Q for telling your story and letting your testimony be a cautionary tale for someone who could possibly be going through the same thing. It took courage and guts so much props to you. Love your commentaries the funny and the more serious ones. See ya later!!! 💕😂🙌🏼🙏🏼
Wow. Now THAT was powerful! God bless u 4 sharing this with all of us. From the day I first caught ur channel and subcribed, I've loved and respected u and the awesome commentary u continually provide. The respect level has now BLOWN OFF THE CHARTS! It doesn't get any better than this. THANK U! Nothing but love 4 u from Columbus, Ohio.
Thank you for this! Parents need to open their minds and stop kicking their gay kids out the house. I know that’s not your story but I see a lot of gay men who end up in this situation because their families don’t accept their lifestyle. This is real life and it’s still happening.
I was 14 up here in Atlanta fascinated by an older guy selling dope. I was young and naive. Thought it was so cute. He had a old school cutlass and bought me nice stuff. I liked showing off in front of my friends skipping school hopping in the car with him leaving. Lost my virginity & regretted every bit of it. He ended up dogging me out. I’m 30 now with 3 kids and I run into him from time to time at my husbands restaurant. He now has 11 kids with 8 women. In his damn 40’s still bouncing from woman to woman & trying to sell drugs. Thank goodness I dodged that bullet.
B Danielle I have a very similar story. It was "cool" back then (it really wasn't) and I too liked to show off by having my 25 yr old bf come pick me up from school. You heard his car before you saw it (loud sound system) I can remember Being in class and every one would say hey ur man here to get you bc they heard his car. The teachers heard it as well and NEVER said a word. I was 14.
Amazing video/message! I was 14 as well and now I have a 13 year old. It makes me crazy to think that he will have more access than we had as kids; considering all the things I was doing. Your honesty is so refreshing! I am very open and honest with my son and I make sure he knows he can tell me absolutely anything with no judgement from my end.
Tell your truth and no one can hang anything over you. Thanks for being so vunerable, it shows growth and you're headed in the right direction with these types of videos and content👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you so much for sharing. My chest felt tight watching this entire video. Shame on that man and bravo to you. You've helped somebody today. Bless.
I was 16 and he was 17. But for you ....that was a predator and molestation. He knew that he was dead wrong, hence the reason he said I can get disbarred for this. Not just because you wanted to do something in the car. To be honest being heterosexual I never even thought about how an LGBTQ teenager can explore sexuality in a safe space. But this has definitely opened my eyes to how some of the world treats LGBTQ teens. Keep having these discussions Dineva. It gives us all some things to think about and consider.
There is no telling how many more young boys he has done this to. I applaud you for telling your story!!! I was 19 years old, it was the summer of 2004 in a pool in my apt complex...this guy told me he was 19 as well. He was 6'5, 230, chocolate skin, a little country and his voice was so deep and sexy! I thought all my dreams had came true! After dating all summer he invited me to go meet his parents I then found out he was ONLY 16. I was so embarrassed! (I was like I didn't let the 16 year boys from school talk me out my panties)... How did he? His mother was so sweet about it. His parents where way older like in there mid 60s...she told me baby he's a big boy and he's mature I dont know why he lies to you girls. I was nice finished dinner...left and didn't talk to him again until about 3 years ago, he found me on Facebook. We met up he apologized, his charming way were still thick as ever. I think if I hadn't been so hurt by his lie, I would have given him a chance. I just couldn't get over it!
I think many of us have put ourselves in dangerous situations while growing up (online but also irl) , whether we were aware of it at the time or not. I know I have and I'm grateful nothing ever happened. One person with bad intentions is all it takes. Thanks for sharing
Thank you for sharing friend. This story will bless someone who needs this word. I'm not gay so I can't relate but I was 13 he was older. It was horrible. Didn't do it again until 16.
My first time was when I was 23 years (am now 25) and am still with the same man. I think I waited because I was terrified of catching any STD or getting pregnant and before I even had sex with my fiancé I made us both get tested for all kinds of STD's lol. But am glad I waited because I am able to make responsible decisions without feeling pressured to do anything I don't want to
The fact that you said to email you, is amazing. Dineva, the platform you have is astounding. You can be messy, funny and serious. This video has helped someone. Know that!
I enjoy your videos and I rarely comment. I'm not sure if you will ever see this message... I know it took a lot for you to share this with strangers, so thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks for sharing your story...it is so true that parents need to be extra vigilant when it comes to being aware of what is going on in the lives of their children, especially since social media plays such a large role in our lives. Parents need to really work to foster open communication with their children because honestly your child will do whatever he/she sets their mind to but at least if they feel comfortable to talk to you, you can give them the info to make the smartest decision possible instead of them possibly gambling with their life. Also, just because your child is a “good child” does not mean that they won’t find themselves in these types of situations...all children need the attention of their parents, even when they act like they don’t.
AOL was a trouble starter!!! The men that came at me.... didn't get anywhere though!! Boi, Boi me trying to be grown!!! So excited to here "You've Got MAIL"!!!
I thank you for sharing your story, I am 30 and your so right there WAS ABSOLUTELY NO OUTLET for us except for the slow ass Dial up Broadband internet. . Mine was at 17 on Bgc lol. . It was a Twenty Something Little man, but he was Handsome and nice. I got to Explore my Sexuality but I felt TERRIBLE cause I couldn't BE WIT someone like myself. That and it was not as EASY back then.
Q, Thank you for being so candid and open with your audience. You are absolutely right , parents can’t always monitor what their kids are doing but having a line of Communication and the willingness to be open minded is important.
I was 16 and i made him stop in the middle, turned to the side and i cried. I was raised to treat myself as a gift. The older man who put it in my head always reminded me "how would you like your perfect present ripped open, played with, and beat up by the time it was ment for you?" I was sod isappointed in myself.
your strength is admirable, thanks for sharing, I hope your family appreciates how much this story will help protect today's youth without judging you!
I clicked so mf fast.. I was gang raped at 14.. Thought it was a safe place but it wasn’t. Looking back I could of made a better judgment call.. Now, I definitely look at it as u were put in a position to make cloudy decisions based on the fact that u couldn’t be truly & transparently yourself 🤷🏾♀️
thanks for sharing this story it was truly amazing. wow this opened up alot of old wounds for me that I sort of inflicted upon myself. I was that gay kid that everyone hated that everyone was disgusted by. I did the same thing as you funky while everyone was having sex or had a girlfriend at 14 to 16 I was online trying to find mine because apart of me knew that I was never going to find it at home. I was so sexually fluid in my younger years but my first time was 18 with someone on age with me. it was wild and after we did it. it felt as if it was wrong because he wasn't the person that initially wanted. being the eldest of six kids I had to where many hats and take on a lot of bullshit. I was being bullied and beaten and school and was living in a very toxic house I felt loveless. thinking that sex was the way to find love I found myself having sex with people i shouldn't have all because I wanted to feel wanted by some body. I was out of control. fast-forward to the end 2016 I wind up messing with someone that I was told that was purposely spreading HIV to everyone he came to have sex with. I confronted him about this to get the real story. he told to "not listen to everything u hear" taking his word for. Deep down inside I knew he wasn't telling the truth. One night we went to have sex. I have him the condom in his hands thinking that he would put it on and he didn't. To make a long story short I contracted the virus. I almost died last year but my Higher Power kept me alive anyway. when I found out I was devastated and I was hurt and being naive I thought well he'll ain't nobody wanted me anyway so maybe is just Gods way in making that a recent fact. last year was the year of tears because so much more so than ever did about again not having not love and no one to share it with. finally after all those tears I got myself up and said to myself either I'm going to lay in this defeat or rise up and live my best life.. I chose to live. Dineva when I say I'm happy inside I am but I just still feel as though I can't find no to share it with and that's the only thing that still hurts. I share my story because I'm bold enough to tell it now I'm not afraid as much as I was back then plus I have to live through it. I'm not looking for no sympathy because this was a mistake well learned. I want people to know that we don't live our lives just for ourselves there's others coming behind us and somebody had to live this in order to reassure that there is a higher power greater than ourselves who would make everything right and he had i thank him for This experience because it has pushed me into the best me that I can possibly be. people be careful who you allow around your body because not everyone is going to take care of your body as good as you do and plus if he or don't put it own PUT IT OWN THEM YOUR DAMN SELF! peace and love people.
Thank you for sharing your story. I do not know what state you live in, I sincerely hope there are now centers for LGBTQ+ youth and adults to drop in or call for support and encouragement. Now, that you are LIVING with HIV, make sure you enjoy every moment of happiness. In my career, we have had guests LIVING with HIV come and talk with our trainees. It never gets old and I am so grateful how much they willingly give of themselves to encourage and support the community, ensure men and women practice safe sex and reclaim their lives. Thanks to modern medicine people are no longer dying from AIDS, they are LIVING with HIV! A pick me upper can be as simple as going outside in the sun, faceup and spinning in circles, reflecting on a happy memory. Or you could play music from your childhood or youth that takes you back to bbqs, the beach, school dances, thanks to TH-cam they're available and free. I wish you a lifetime (60+ more) of wonderful memories. Keep Your Head to the Sky!
@@desireewhite3222 Thank you I appreciate your comments. Even before I got the virus I felt like no one wanted me anyways so this was the cap over everything that I believed. But now, after seeing that there's a glimmer of hope for me I will not give up on my life at all anymore
@@fraoct1065 You are very welcome. I believe it's better to make someone smile than frown. I have 2 adult black sons. I've ways been very open with them about everything and answered questions in an age appropriate ways. They knew they could ask me and everything, that way I'd know they were getting the truth. Sometimes, I was so uncomfortable with the topic, but I owed it to them and answered openly and honestly. When it came time to answer questions about homosexuality, we talked and I thoroughly explained as much as I could, without judgment. I explained it is not a choice, most are born that way, but many females that were abused as children cannot stomach the idea of a man touching them. I also explained that men that have sex with boys are not homosexuals, they are perverts, just as men that have sex with girls, are not heterosexuals, they're perverts too. I wanted wanted to take advantage of t.v. shows or kids that had two dad or two moms for them to feel comfortable asking follow up questions, and then for the discussions to organically flow, I knew the AA community is not as supportive as we should be and they were going to hear things I didn't agree with sooner or later. My youngest son for prom got me to rent the limo and we agreed the amount each rider owed me. He brought me $20 less than the agree upon amount per person. When I asked him why, he told his Italian friend came out to his family last year and his father disowned him and left the family and now they were struggling financially. I asked him why didn't he just lower his price or tell the mom it was my gift to him. My son looked at me and said let the man have his pride. I was so proud of him I had tears in my eyes. One of the other AA male riders was not okay with this friend riding with them and told my son, he didn't want to ride with a gay. My son told him he'd bring his money back tomorrow. That was 9 years ago and they are still friends and G posts on my son's Instagram wearing full makeup. Whenever, one on my son's AA friends ask why he let's G post on his page (I may be confusing Instagram and Twitter) he answers, he's been my friend since 5th grade. I am secure in who I am, don't care about what others think and don't judge. My son's name is Josh, please find you a Josh regardless of the person's sexuality. Someone that when you look at him/her what you see is a good friend that accepts you, as you are! I am so proud of the non judgemental man Josh is and that he is not racist. My older son is not as open as Josh, but he knows there are certain things I find inexcusable and not to disappoint me. There are people that love and are praying for you, that you haven't met yet. Open yourself to the beauty and goodness in this world and watch God work. Wishing you every happiness and a Josh!
So impressed with your evident personal growth. I believe there is a book in you as well as a leader/advocate. Keep coming through with the grown man .... and flexing that Florida University degree. Nothing but luv and blessings 4 u.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal story. It's a wake up call to all parents. Your sons are vulnerable just as daughters are. I have two daughters who are grown strong successful women. I raised them with the quote from color purple everyday they went out the door, "girl child just ain't safe in a world full of mens". Their friends would look at them like What? My girls would roll their eyes and say " I know, I know!! Girl child ain't safe in a world full of mens!!"
I really appreciate your honesty and experience. It's really something to think of. We can't be with our kids all the time but what we can do is discuss life n it's realities with them and arm our children with information.
Thank you for the transparency Q!!! I think we've all been in situations like this. I was in a very similar situation at 16 with a WAY older man and I just thank God it didn't end horribly! Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ughh I Notice in the Comments People see the Molestation part. . but Completely missing the Reason WHY. . and I feel that will help with there LGBT Children. Yeah i see we STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. *Sighs*
Missing the full point. The moral of the story is watch yo kids and be there for them as a sounding board no matter who they like. That's what I got from it. Hell, truth be told a lot of us have similar stories. Sure at the base of it, it's molestation however that wasn't the point
Dineva I just watched your DMV workers video and Chile could I stop laughing .!yall watch that video and thank me later. Please do another video about these government workers and attitude problems
Q, this was definitely a necessary story to tell. This is absolutely a universal coming of age story for anybody, gay or straight, of just exploring a world that you don't yet know and a desire to figure it out on your own. As you were telling it my eyes watered thinking of what could have happened to you but didn't. That man was absolutely a predator by all intents and purposes...point blank period. So I am glad that it didn't end differently. I too at the age of 14 met someone (with my sister) while on Blackplanet. It could have ended differently as well other situations I placed myself into at such a young and impressionable age. Under the guise of "I am mature enough to handle this." & "Nothing is going to happen to me", which absolutely shows my actual level of maturity. Thank you for sharing this and pushing the conversation of how necessary it is to communicate with your children no matter how uncomfortable it may be...it is beneficial in the long run!
Props for sharing this. People need these cautionary tales, especially with the way things are now in society.
Count Landon Smith thanks for being honest
“It could’ve ended tragically “. It did end tragically. You were a middle schooler who was sexually violated by a 50 year old man. This is straight up trauma.
jnnlis I get his point tho, I was lured off a playground by a grown man at 6, he molested me but let me go and I always say it could've ended way worse..sad fact but true
jnnlis he just said he wasnt traumatized and continued to do it. Some people are more resilient in life and dont necessarily carry hurt with them their whole life. U cant tell him how he should feel.
IttyBitty Lex whether or not someone calls something traumatic doesn’t mean it isn’t. He. Was. A. Child. Black children are so unprotected. I will not normalize this. He describes his parents not knowing what he was up to, sexual violation by an adult, and being ostracized for his sexuality. That is trauma for his young self. There are so many traumatized people walking around not knowing it-with others downplaying it, especially in this culture. I will not do that. He was brave to share. I hold my position that he was taken advantage of and that this is a trauma. People respond to trauma differently but I will not have you telling me a 50 plus year old lawyer picking up a 14 year old child in a park and taking them to a hotel to have sex with is not a trauma for that child FOH.
Dridri1212 I'm sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately me too...this is why it's important to talk about these things in our community
Dridri1212 I’m sorry that happened to you and glad you were not *even further* harmed.
This is a very common story for a lot of gay youth, unfortunately. My first sexual experience was not voluntary (unfortunately) and it was with an older woman 10 years my senior. My best friend who was a gay man lost his virginity at 14 to a 33year old married man when Grindr first launched, I was so scared for his safety he called me and put his phone in his pocket so I could hear him if he needed help. A lot of us in the community put ourselves at risk because like you said we didn’t have normal innocent outlets to come of age into our sexuality.
The Voodoo Child did you talk about this on your channel? Good bless you💕🤞🏽
Growing up gay and BLACK was so horrific. Everyday was literally an acting audition just in order to PASS
allen13e aww damnnn
That part!!
Bryon Cage me too. My next phase is coming out to my family which will happen very soon.
allen13e 😭😭😭😭😭so very sorry for you
It was horrible. Im so glad I’m free.
The title alone has me shooketh...and disturbed!!!
Cherie Butler lol at shooketh
I was scared to click on it. I had to wait a couple of days
Cherie Butler shooketh 😂
#Preach! Parental Open-mindedness, open conversation, and monitoring your children is a MUST!
YEEEEEEEES PREACH! DITTO!
I’m 19 and still haven’t done anything 🤦🏾♀️
Kiera 🙌🏾don’t let anyone pressure you into anything . Wait til you’re good and ready
Kiera, trust me when I say continue to wait, preferably until you're married! Itll spare you a lot of unnecessary headache!
Take your time, once you have sex ain't no coming back!
And You ain't missing nothing!
No rush! Stay a Virgin.
I was a late bloomer thank God because my mother struck the fear of God in my heart! Not only were the girls my age having sex but literally having babies at 12, 13, etc. So my first time messing around I was 23, and I didn’t have full blown sex until 27. Oddly enough, the guy I messed around with for the first time was the same one I lost my virginity to. I know I waited very long, but I wanted to do it when I was ready, not because HE wanted it.
Shanay Angelique i wish!
I understand. I had a really strict dad. I didn't start having sex until I was 20.
You messed around at 23 and didn’t have full blown sex until 27???? LOL people and their excuses to remain “innocent”.
Awesome!
Girl this is my story!!!!!!!!!!! I will be 28 this year an still a virgin that fear of god is a blessing
Nessa I answered this call real quick
Blake Moore 🐸🍵👂🏾👂🏾👂🏾👂🏾👂🏾
Blake Moore ... Gurl I took a early lunch break
Lmfao...nessa gurl!!!!!!
If feel like the majority of gay males have this experience. And it's always some extremely old man that know better. It makes me sad.
Very candid and honest video and I thank you and appreciate you sharing something about your life that’s personal.
mary janes baby Don't u just want to reach through the screen and give him a hug
Donna Bowman Omg! Yes
These truths are necessary. I had a female cousin who was gay. Before she passed we talked about how it was in the 90s and people trying to force boys on her. We knew...but she talked about how uncomfortable she felt being forced to go to the school dance and wear a dress. Looking at the pics you could tell. But I remember her "coming out" at my grandmother's funeral in 2000. She had on a suit and a hat and just looked free. She died in 07 due to a rare liver disease she had since birth but I'm glad that for at least 7 years she was able to be completely FREE.
I know every parent dreams of their child marrying the opposite sex and living happily ever after with kids, because those are the biblical principles. I believe in that, however the bible also speaks on unconditional love. That means love a person through a disagreement. So for me I'm in support of happiness and although I may not agree with how you seek your happiness IT DOESN'T MATTER. I always tell people I dont want a MF telling me how to live my life and I dern sho ain't gone tell somebody else.
Love you Dineva! Thanks for these real moments.
celeste82
The min you said Internet, I immediately thought of *AOL* before you could say it 😂😂. *_You've got mail_* 😂😂. Man aol was the shit!!!!!#thatPART
Nice thanks for sharing.
Ba ba whew chile dial up was slow af.
AOL was not the shit. If the internet for everyone went down right now and when it came back up AOL was the only option people would kill them selves.
Did u even watch the video? 🤨
When u got them updates in the mail😂😂😂
As far as sexual experience I was a late bloomer, 19-20 years old for me before I felt comfortable to experiment with a man. I'm a female by the way.
brooklynforever1990 that is not a late bloomer for male gay or straight. It's right on the money.
Same here my first male contact was 20-23..i was very late im a straight woman, one reason is because my mother and my church scared me straight as a teen lbvs
Im grateful though when i finally did explore sex i was grown and in a solid relationship
brooklynforever1990 I feel you, I never felt comfortable to do anything until I was 19. My strict religious family scared the daylights out of me haha
I was 16-17 . I remembering wanting to do it at 12-13 but thank God it didn't happen. I had a friend who gave birth at 14. So yes people start early. To parents I would say your child's friend circle makes a huge difference. All of my friends were not into sex and that made me rethink many decisions. Had I been with another group of girls I would've done what they did. WATCH who your kids friends are, especially girls.
IttyBitty Lex PREACH!
So damn true. Every word.
True
👍👍👍
I have a 4yr old and I think about things like this happening. It weighs on me to even THINK of the notion that I can't protect my child. Predatory behavior is so rampant that I dont trust any one around my child. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Hopefully it brings you some sort of closure. Thanks for sharing your experience and POV.
Damn, you were exploited on roller blades by the devil . This could have turned out horrible but instead it gave you some insight. I hope parents are tuned into this. I don’t know why parents refuse to parent these days probably because their on social media and don’t have time too parent which is a damn shame. Folks also know if their raising gay children they just figure it will go away (ain’t that some sad shit) instead of facing the issue they turn it into a problem. I’m glad this ended the way it did for you and also glad you shared, you know you just helped someone if not a child hopefully a parent.
Firstly let me say,I'm so sorry this had to happen this way,2nd it was rape because of your age,3,rd I'm so glad your sharing tbis,I have a son who went thru something similar,an he was from that error,of the phone meet an greets ,but he told me later,I encourage my kids to be honest even if it hurt a tell the truth,
Tam Ril
Tam Ril
Tam Ril l
This quality is EVERYTHING!! Camera and lens details please!!! **finishes watching.
Back then, I was being extremely fast on Blackplanet 😂😂😂😂 whew chiiile!
❤
Everybody was!!
Beautiful Stallion black planet use to be 🔥🔥🔥
thank you for your honestly... people act like kids weren't and are currently fast now... so when i heat stories about "young girls" (teenagers) i look crazy because i know what they're talking about is some BS lol i've seen alot of things growing and working with kids in the past
R J hmm 🤔 not really ijs
Oh and us "straighties from the eighties" were just as irresponsible! 😳
Diary of A Mad Black Teacher Yes God !
15 with a 22 yr old 😟 stupid me, so that hours for straight & gay children. Parents need to listen and let their children know they are there to listen.
No lies!! alot of us were young teens messing around with somebody grown (not in there 50s Damn Q!) but too old to be messing with a teenager
Yes! I did shit that I knew was wrong as well. My 17 year old self does not feel molested. I was 2 mos from 18 and guess what?- my mind was still the same from that time until I turned 18!
Sherry DC me too! I was leaving hs to go to his apartment! I realized he was much older when I saw his hs yearbook! He was the same age as my older sister! But he knew I was only 15... I been in love with older men ever since
So many of us gay men experienced sex the exact way you described! The shame was real, and it destroyed my sense of innocence! I had no one to talk to either, I was this kid with these feelings and no one to walk me through it! I prayed that I would find a community that embraced me. Not sure if, at 51, I’ve actually found that community!
Liberating your 14yo self and edifying others is Awesome works... 💯
This story scares me.....I have 14 year old twin sons😩 I would be livid if a MAN took advantage of them. 💔 it wasn’t until I was 18 that I had my first sexual experience, and I still think that was too young. We have these discussions even tho the twins hate when I pull out the PowerPoints to do an interactive presentations on sexual assault, rape culture, child sexual abuse, etc....I want them informed, make safe choices and not be contributors to the detriment of others. This was quite the share
Good for you momma! They will thank you for keeping the lines of communication open. My mom acted like sex didn’t exist and I had to get my info from the library.
Thats very good, my mom talked to me about sex actulally she scared me lol but if it wasnt for her and my church keeping such a grip on me i wouldnt have been able to wait until i was an adult (23) in a loving relationship to have my first sexual experience with a man.
As long as youve done your part! Theyll be fine...I remember being 14 yrs old..freshman in high school..the hormones and thought and feelings are definitely spinning constantly!! Stay open with them!! Grateful my parents were with me!! I waited till 18 as well!
Latrice Estell / just always ask them questions about who is asking, an looking at them in a sexual way
So a WOMAN is OK with your 14 year old boys? I don’t get what the gender has to do with it.
I was 14 when I lost my virginity trying to 'fit it'. I regret it to this day. My daughter is 11 years old and has a phone. I check and monitor her phone daily and is restricted from having any form of social media. Times have changed drastically and I just want to protect her as much as I can.
Please do check her cell phone my daughter has one as well last year we had a situation where she met somebody on this site who claimed to be a female I want to be her friend my daughter is a dancer so that's how she got her thank God I caught it in time I took a phone of all my for almost a year I just gave it back yesterday I'm like you I'm checking it every chance I get and on expressway may God continue blessing you and children and cover them in the blood
Rosalyn Gaines oh no. I'm so sorry that happened. It's so damn scary now days. I check it constantlyyyyyyy to the point sometimes I feel like I'm doing to much. I have to protect me baby. I wont even allow those stupid musically apps. Keep your eyes peeled hun, take care.
Thank you for sharing your story because your story may help someone. Parents need to pay more attention and be more aware of their children's activities. Regardless of whatever, you are EXACTLY who you are supposed to be.
I hate when parents think putting there gay son in football is going to change his sexual orientation.
GonnaMakeItAfterAll Exactly, smh
Makes it worst as straight men love homosexual sex
DontRushPerfection / all that did was exposed him to what he really wanted , a real chance to see naked boys an lust after them.
I hate that too!! Just except it Hell your not the one who is doing it!! Let people like what they like. I believe people are born gay not that they just wake up one day and say I'm going to be gay!! So live and let live!!
I'm so sorry this happened to u dont care if u wanted to do this but he was so wrong and for that I want to say I'm sorry for u
Stacey Roberson I concur! My heart hurts for Dineva
Shunda Stanley yes shit like this I get so mad!!
I haven’t even started the video but I can identify with the title. I was 12/13 and he was 35, that’s how I lost my virginity. I normally lie about how I lost it. Who wants to say “I met a man off blackplanet and lost my virginity to him that young”? And he knew how old I was because I told him after lying and saying I was 18. Crazy enough, he was also a young basketball coach. I pray those kids were safe.
Jesus, im sorry that happened to you :((
I am so sorry this happened to you. Smh
MarQui Jae I can relate. Im a female and was 16 when i lost my virginity to a 24 year old. I was young, immature and looking for "love" in all the wrong places. Plus it was in a park not a hotel or anything. I honestly cant say i regret it. Im 31 now and some of the things I've done while a teenager has shaped me the adult i have become today. Im married and have a degree. I just know to have a better relationship with my kids(when i do have one) so that my child won't have to look for love in the wrong place
MarQui Jae sorry u were preyed upon like that.
Im so sorry. O.m.g. 😢😢
Lord, Dineva. You are a victim. It is NEVER acceptable for an adult to court or have relationships/sex with a minor, whether you were willing or not. He was the adult. Taking your innocence was wrong on so many levels. I applaud you for sharing and maybe providing caution for parents. I thank God for covering you even then. You could have been a murder victim and your family would have been devistated. #CoveringOfGod
Phreeze
Girl we all got these stories I swear!
Num1FameMonster and I mean WE ALL!!!!
Num1FameMonster sad but so tru
Num1FameMonster so true...
Charlton Singleton GENERAL SPEAKING in our community WE DO
Charlton Singleton you probably do as well. Don’t be shame 😂😂
Being rape and molested at a very tender age of 5 which lasted over the course of years by different men. Lead me to my attraction to older men,plus as I got older it was the in thing to be persude by a older man. It was until I was in college in my 20's that I truly began to understand what had occured in those times. I had repressed the memory of the incidents that now in my 30's with a male child of my own scares the hell out of me. Because I never want him to suffer insilence like I did for all those years. I tried to take my life because I didn't want to face the fact I allowed that to happen to myself. Please please protect your babies. Watch your family members especially!
Amanda Turner So sorry that happened to you 🙏
💕😞💏🙏
I liked this. I think those of us raised during the early 90's, we didn't see the harm in dating/talking to older men. It seemed like the "cool" thing to do. But today's culture would call it "predatory." Interesting take.
exactly... so when people bring up old stories to accuse people i think to my self "that's not fair it was a different time and if you didn't care then dont care now" not saying it was right but dont ruin someone's livelihood for something you willingly participated in !
I disagree. A 14 year old child having sex with a 50 year old has never been socially acceptable. A 14 year old cannot "date" a 50 year old, no matter how supposedly willing the child is. It's always been rape in this society.
I don’t agree with this either. I have never been into older men. I always been attracted to men in my age bracket since I started fucking. I am 32 and I never been with a man in his 40s since I started having sex at at 17. When I was in my early 20s you couldn’t get me to talk to no man in his mid thirties
Yeah Q's age difference is a huge stretch for me but I was definitely "fast" in my day (even before I starting fucking bc I talked a REAL GOOD game to "play" dudes). At 14 it was nothing for a 20something yr old hood booger to try to screw. I lost my V at 16 but I remember wanting to lose it earlier I thought it would be so tight to lose it to an older man bc he would know what to "do". At 14 I "talked" to a 36yr old man that lived down the street. Baaaaaaby when I say that man scared the BEJEZUZ outta me with all of his lil nasty talk!!😂😂😂 I was like nah I ain't ready. Took 2 more years for me to build up the courage. But once I did EVERYONE I had sex with was in their 20's and I was 16. And they knew my age cuz I grew up with all of them! But it was so normal back then...just thinking back like WOW!!😔
I can agree when I was in high school I seen the older men dropping girls off all the time.
Thanks for the Story Dineva!!
this is a story from Q!
Thank you for sharing this it takes real courage and strength to share this. I wish you the very best on your evolution as a young man. I am a therapist and telling your truth is the greatest form of self care. Thank you and continue your great work.
ndez
I was 20 and he was a 33 year old white police officer... My first "boyfriend" and kept me a secret. Then disappeared and married a woman. Worst experience of my life. I still deal with what he put me through mentally and emotionally to this day. I ended up speaking to the "woman" tho... Told her everything. He pressured me to let him take my virginity and claimed he was going to move to my town and we'd live together. He'd get angry with me if I hung out with my gay friends because he saw them as competition.... Yes of course he ended up also being racist and made excuses for racist people and homophobes as well... While I was of legal age I was still only 20 and he was 12 years older than me. There were many things he was able to convince me to do because I had no experience and believed most things he told me. I was very innocent, I wasn't a very sexual person at all, but I loved him and would have done anything for him and he knew that and used it to his advantage.
Thank you for sharing love and I hope you've healed from this! So do you think you were fetishized? A lot of ppl give these white predatory covert racist the benefit of the doubt, but they ultimately just consider it sex and look at their black counterparts as inferior 🤨
I do think I was fetishized to a point, but i think it had more to do with him wanting to have sex with young gay boys in general rather than just black ones. Me being black was an added component, but the "woman" he married is only a few months older than me so with that being said i think his thing is more about wanting to fuck young gay boys and young people in general hence the woman and I basically being the same age . Our racism arguments didnt actually come around until all the police brutality killings started, thats when we started having heated discussions over it but for a while that wasent an issue. His main thing was trying to hide his sexuality. He even went so far as to lie to me and tell me he was NOT Bisexual and that he was just Gay and that he was out of the closet, both of which turned out to be a lie, He did this knowing that I wouldn't have had anything to do with him had I known he was DL, everyone who knows me personally knows i'd never date someone like that knowingly and he knew it, so he lied to get me, which he ended up admitting to.
Gabe Westenra Don't waste your time replying to the hateful troll. It's not even worth it.
Omg baby no I am so sorry you went through that but you know what it wasn't your fault he was in denial about his sexuality and basically took it out on you he used you and that was not right at all I hope he got his Karma and if not it's going to come soon smh damn shame
experience bitch shut up let me tell you something in my eyes 20 years old is nothing but a year older than being 19 you are still a baby you don't have to be a rude nasty ass bitch and talk to him that way some people know better than others me for instance I was very wise and mature for my age but at the end of the day we all make mistakes and it's a learning experience how dare you put him down for what he's been through
Oh Q I feel for you on so many levels. Not having an outlet socially, not being able to have family or a friend to be to turn to. That man needed his ass whooped. I want hug you. I know you have come to terms with this but I'm happy you made it through and you are now here with us.
Awww I love ya Funky Dineva for always speaking your truth & living in it😘
Nessa we appreciate your honesty! We need to be more open about where we come from it could possibly reroute someone heading down that same path!
We love you nessa girl
*Thanks ❤ for being so open, and I'm sorry that GROWN man took advantage of you* 😕💔
That dam AOL had me hooked all day everyday!! So many “relationships” I had with guys miles away. Being 16 gay and black 😱😱 I don’t even know how I made it but your story fits into every part of my young life . So glad you shared this with the world and no good to hear that we weren’t the only ones going through it!
This cautionary tale fits ANY gender regardless of sexuality. You're talking 20 years ago. The current generation of teens, I don't know personally but as you stated with social media being what it is and the fact that parents are providing them with phones, this raises this issue to a whole other level. I hope today's parents are talking to their children about the possibilities of predatory actions. Sorry you had to experience this but the growth you show through your platform is commendable. Thanks for sharing. I pray someone can be saved from possible trauma as a result of this.
I'm watching this almost in tears because we are around the age and I've never thought about things this way. Thank you for sharing.
Great video like damn it doesnt get much more relatable then you on these TH-cam streets. Youre the only one that doesnt make things so dramatic and forced. Thanks for this!
Funky... I cannot express how appreciative I am of you always being so open and honest about your life experiences. I am a straight female but your openness and candour helps me to talk to my nieces & nephews. You are extremely intelligent & witty and I always near my phone waiting on your call! Thank you. Thank you and keep doing what you do and how you do it because you are phenomenal.
Oh yeah, your appearance on Queens Supreme Court was the absolute best! I wish you all could work it out to where you would be the guest judge once a month. I love you boo! 😀
What I never been his early for you!! Continue on this road of success and sending all my love from the US Embassy Baghdad 😘
I commend you for speaking your truth.. and as a mom and one of your biggest supports I feel so bad for the young boy who had their first sexual experience in an unpleasant way.
Thank God that you were able to come out of that situation for the most part unharmed..
that grown ass man was so out of order for the entire act regardless if you were 14 or 17..
Listen man, when you said have an open dialogue, I screamedddd because I was just talking about this the other day. Parents don’t allow kids to speak or voice how their opinion and in turn silence their children causing a downward spiral.. I am glad you owned your truth and shared this will is.
This is why I love you. Your courage to use this as a teachable moment to parents everywhere, truly touched me.
You are very brave, and I’m glad you are able to tell your truth.
Much respect Q for telling your story and letting your testimony be a cautionary tale for someone who could possibly be going through the same thing. It took courage and guts so much props to you. Love your commentaries the funny and the more serious ones. See ya later!!! 💕😂🙌🏼🙏🏼
Wow. Now THAT was powerful!
God bless u 4 sharing this with all of us.
From the day I first caught ur channel and subcribed, I've loved and respected u and the awesome commentary u continually provide. The respect level has now BLOWN OFF THE CHARTS! It doesn't get any better than this. THANK U!
Nothing but love 4 u from Columbus, Ohio.
Thank you for this! Parents need to open their minds and stop kicking their gay kids out the house. I know that’s not your story but I see a lot of gay men who end up in this situation because their families don’t accept their lifestyle. This is real life and it’s still happening.
I'm glad to decided to share your story major props to you Dineva
I was 14 up here in Atlanta fascinated by an older guy selling dope. I was young and naive. Thought it was so cute. He had a old school cutlass and bought me nice stuff. I liked showing off in front of my friends skipping school hopping in the car with him leaving. Lost my virginity & regretted every bit of it. He ended up dogging me out. I’m 30 now with 3 kids and I run into him from time to time at my husbands restaurant. He now has 11 kids with 8 women. In his damn 40’s still bouncing from woman to woman & trying to sell drugs. Thank goodness I dodged that bullet.
B Danielle
B Danielle I have a very similar story. It was "cool" back then (it really wasn't) and I too liked to show off by having my 25 yr old bf come pick me up from school. You heard his car before you saw it (loud sound system) I can remember Being in class and every one would say hey ur man here to get you bc they heard his car. The teachers heard it as well and NEVER said a word. I was 14.
@@haileygrey5047 same is was 16 and he was 25 ... We were so young and naive... Taken advantage of.. These guys are disgusting
Amazing video/message! I was 14 as well and now I have a 13 year old. It makes me crazy to think that he will have more access than we had as kids; considering all the things I was doing. Your honesty is so refreshing! I am very open and honest with my son and I make sure he knows he can tell me absolutely anything with no judgement from my end.
Tell your truth and no one can hang anything over you. Thanks for being so vunerable, it shows growth and you're headed in the right direction with these types of videos and content👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
This is very helpful to us as a parents and making yourself available is noble and touches my heart and soul, thank you
Thank you for your bravery and for sharing your story.
19 1st failed attempt, 20 2nd successful attempt.
You are everything for sharing this 🙌🏾
Thank you so much for sharing. My chest felt tight watching this entire video. Shame on that man and bravo to you. You've helped somebody today. Bless.
I was 16 and he was 17. But for you ....that was a predator and molestation. He knew that he was dead wrong, hence the reason he said I can get disbarred for this. Not just because you wanted to do something in the car.
To be honest being heterosexual I never even thought about how an LGBTQ teenager can explore sexuality in a safe space. But this has definitely opened my eyes to how some of the world treats LGBTQ teens.
Keep having these discussions Dineva. It gives us all some things to think about and consider.
Thanks for sharing this!
Thank you for sharing this.. Helping others heal from similar pain that has been experienced. A problem shared is a problem halved, ❤️
Thank you Funky for being transparent and honest! You just helped and saved someone in this very moment....whoever is listening 🙌🏽
There is no telling how many more young boys he has done this to. I applaud you for telling your story!!!
I was 19 years old, it was the summer of 2004 in a pool in my apt complex...this guy told me he was 19 as well. He was 6'5, 230, chocolate skin, a little country and his voice was so deep and sexy! I thought all my dreams had came true! After dating all summer he invited me to go meet his parents I then found out he was ONLY 16. I was so embarrassed! (I was like I didn't let the 16 year boys from school talk me out my panties)... How did he? His mother was so sweet about it. His parents where way older like in there mid 60s...she told me baby he's a big boy and he's mature I dont know why he lies to you girls. I was nice finished dinner...left and didn't talk to him again until about 3 years ago, he found me on Facebook. We met up he apologized, his charming way were still thick as ever. I think if I hadn't been so hurt by his lie, I would have given him a chance. I just couldn't get over it!
I think many of us have put ourselves in dangerous situations while growing up (online but also irl) , whether we were aware of it at the time or not. I know I have and I'm grateful nothing ever happened. One person with bad intentions is all it takes. Thanks for sharing
This happens too often. Thanks for sharing❤️. We need more people sharing these stories and hopefully it opens at least one mind
Thank you for sharing this! Keeping my children in eyesight 100%
Thank you for sharing friend. This story will bless someone who needs this word. I'm not gay so I can't relate but I was 13 he was older. It was horrible. Didn't do it again until 16.
My first time was when I was 23 years (am now 25) and am still with the same man. I think I waited because I was terrified of catching any STD or getting pregnant and before I even had sex with my fiancé I made us both get tested for all kinds of STD's lol. But am glad I waited because I am able to make responsible decisions without feeling pressured to do anything I don't want to
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
The fact that you said to email you, is amazing. Dineva, the platform you have is astounding. You can be messy, funny and serious. This video has helped someone. Know that!
You shouldn't be ashamed. Hell I'm proud of you for being vulnerable and sharing your message!
Wow, thanks for sharing, you are helping a lot of young boys with your story.
I enjoy your videos and I rarely comment. I'm not sure if you will ever see this message... I know it took a lot for you to share this with strangers, so thank you for sharing your story.
I love you for this! My son came out to me at 14. I always knew. I love him regardless! I’m happy you were covered as well ❤️
Thanks for sharing your story...it is so true that parents need to be extra vigilant when it comes to being aware of what is going on in the lives of their children, especially since social media plays such a large role in our lives. Parents need to really work to foster open communication with their children because honestly your child will do whatever he/she sets their mind to but at least if they feel comfortable to talk to you, you can give them the info to make the smartest decision possible instead of them possibly gambling with their life. Also, just because your child is a “good child” does not mean that they won’t find themselves in these types of situations...all children need the attention of their parents, even when they act like they don’t.
AOL was a trouble starter!!! The men that came at me.... didn't get anywhere though!! Boi, Boi me trying to be grown!!! So excited to here "You've Got MAIL"!!!
I thank you for sharing your story, I am 30 and your so right there WAS ABSOLUTELY NO OUTLET for us except for the slow ass Dial up Broadband internet. . Mine was at 17 on Bgc lol. . It was a Twenty Something Little man, but he was Handsome and nice. I got to Explore my Sexuality but I felt TERRIBLE cause I couldn't BE WIT someone like myself. That and it was not as EASY back then.
Thank you so much for sharing this story. Countless people need to hear it :)
Thanks for sharing this story. You are so transparent and that's why I love your channel.
Oh Dineva, pushing the envelope. We needed this.
Thank u for sharing this .. I will definitely be applying your experience and lessons in how I raise my kids.
Thank you fir sharing this. I think your story is more common than many of us would like to admit. I was 15 and he was older. Love you Dineva!
Q, Thank you for being so candid and open with your audience.
You are absolutely right , parents can’t always monitor what their kids are doing but having a line of
Communication and the willingness to be open minded is important.
I was 16 and i made him stop in the middle, turned to the side and i cried. I was raised to treat myself as a gift. The older man who put it in my head always reminded me "how would you like your perfect present ripped open, played with, and beat up by the time it was ment for you?" I was sod isappointed in myself.
I admire your openness & honesty!❤
You're vulnerability, honesty, & bravery is inspirational. You articulate yourself so well.
your strength is admirable, thanks for sharing, I hope your family appreciates how much this story will help protect today's youth without judging you!
I clicked so mf fast..
I was gang raped at 14..
Thought it was a safe place but it wasn’t.
Looking back I could of made a better judgment call..
Now,
I definitely look at it as u were put in a position to make cloudy decisions based on the fact that u couldn’t be truly & transparently yourself 🤷🏾♀️
Lashaunda Payton Villarreal I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to you 😪
Miranda Smith Thankyou Love & it’s ok Thank God I’ve dealt with those experiences and turned out relatively ok .. Made me stronger.
Is it too late to take to trial? I’m sorry this happened to you.
😯 That's awful.
thanks for sharing this story it was truly amazing. wow this opened up alot of old wounds for me that I sort of inflicted upon myself.
I was that gay kid that everyone hated that everyone was disgusted by. I did the same thing as you funky while everyone was having sex or had a girlfriend at 14 to 16 I was online trying to find mine because apart of me knew that I was never going to find it at home. I was so sexually fluid in my younger years but my first time was 18 with someone on age with me. it was wild and after we did it. it felt as if it was wrong because he wasn't the person that initially wanted.
being the eldest of six kids I had to where many hats and take on a lot of bullshit. I was being bullied and beaten and school and was living in a very toxic house I felt loveless. thinking that sex was the way to find love I found myself having sex with people i shouldn't have all because I wanted to feel wanted by some body. I was out of control.
fast-forward to the end 2016 I wind up messing with someone that I was told that was purposely spreading HIV to everyone he came to have sex with.
I confronted him about this to get the real story. he told to "not listen to everything u hear" taking his word for. Deep down inside I knew he wasn't telling the truth.
One night we went to have sex. I have him the condom in his hands thinking that he would put it on and he didn't.
To make a long story short I contracted the virus. I almost died last year but my Higher Power kept me alive anyway. when I found out I was devastated and I was hurt and being naive I thought well he'll ain't nobody wanted me anyway so maybe is just Gods way in making that a recent fact.
last year was the year of tears because so much more so than ever did about again not having not love and no one to share it with.
finally after all those tears I got myself up and said to myself either I'm going to lay in this defeat or rise up and live my best life.. I chose to live.
Dineva when I say I'm happy inside I am but I just still feel as though I can't find no to share it with and that's the only thing that still hurts.
I share my story because I'm bold enough to tell it now I'm not afraid as much as I was back then plus I have to live through it. I'm not looking for no sympathy because this was a mistake well learned.
I want people to know that we don't live our lives just for ourselves there's others coming behind us and somebody had to live this in order to reassure that there is a higher power greater than ourselves who would make everything right and he had i thank him for This experience because it has pushed me into the best me that I can possibly be.
people be careful who you allow around your body because not everyone is going to take care of your body as good as you do and plus if he or don't put it own PUT IT OWN THEM YOUR DAMN SELF! peace and love people.
Thank you for sharing your story. I do not know what state you live in, I sincerely hope there are now centers for LGBTQ+ youth and adults to drop in or call for support and encouragement. Now, that you are LIVING with HIV, make sure you enjoy every moment of happiness. In my career, we have had guests LIVING with HIV come and talk with our trainees. It never gets old and I am so grateful how much they willingly give of themselves to encourage and support the community, ensure men and women practice safe sex and reclaim their lives. Thanks to modern medicine people are no longer dying from AIDS, they are LIVING with HIV! A pick me upper can be as simple as going outside in the sun, faceup and spinning in circles, reflecting on a happy memory. Or you could play music from your childhood or youth that takes you back to bbqs, the beach, school dances, thanks to TH-cam they're available and free. I wish you a lifetime (60+ more) of wonderful memories. Keep Your Head to the Sky!
@@desireewhite3222 Thank you I appreciate your comments. Even before I got the virus I felt like no one wanted me anyways so this was the cap over everything that I believed. But now, after seeing that there's a glimmer of hope for me I will not give up on my life at all anymore
@@fraoct1065 You are very welcome. I believe it's better to make someone smile than frown. I have 2 adult black sons. I've ways been very open with them about everything and answered questions in an age appropriate ways. They knew they could ask me and everything, that way I'd know they were getting the truth. Sometimes, I was so uncomfortable with the topic, but I owed it to them and answered openly and honestly. When it came time to answer questions about homosexuality, we talked and I thoroughly explained as much as I could, without judgment. I explained it is not a choice, most are born that way, but many females that were abused as children cannot stomach the idea of a man touching them. I also explained that men that have sex with boys are not homosexuals, they are perverts, just as men that have sex with girls, are not heterosexuals, they're perverts too. I wanted wanted to take advantage of t.v. shows or kids that had two dad or two moms for them to feel comfortable asking follow up questions, and then for the discussions to organically flow, I knew the AA community is not as supportive as we should be and they were going to hear things I didn't agree with sooner or later. My youngest son for prom got me to rent the limo and we agreed the amount each rider owed me. He brought me $20 less than the agree upon amount per person. When I asked him why, he told his Italian friend came out to his family last year and his father disowned him and left the family and now they were struggling financially. I asked him why didn't he just lower his price or tell the mom it was my gift to him. My son looked at me and said let the man have his pride. I was so proud of him I had tears in my eyes. One of the other AA male riders was not okay with this friend riding with them and told my son, he didn't want to ride with a gay. My son told him he'd bring his money back tomorrow. That was 9 years ago and they are still friends and G posts on my son's Instagram wearing full makeup. Whenever, one on my son's AA friends ask why he let's G post on his page (I may be confusing Instagram and Twitter) he answers, he's been my friend since 5th grade. I am secure in who I am, don't care about what others think and don't judge. My son's name is Josh, please find you a Josh regardless of the person's sexuality. Someone that when you look at him/her what you see is a good friend that accepts you, as you are! I am so proud of the non judgemental man Josh is and that he is not racist. My older son is not as open as Josh, but he knows there are certain things I find inexcusable and not to disappoint me. There are people that love and are praying for you, that you haven't met yet. Open yourself to the beauty and goodness in this world and watch God work. Wishing you every happiness and a Josh!
I’m so sorry that happened to you 😢
@@jessikagaines1681 It was a growing experience. I'm not innocent but I didn't deserve that bs.
So impressed with your evident personal growth. I believe there is a book in you as well as a leader/advocate. Keep coming through with the grown man .... and flexing that Florida University degree. Nothing but luv and blessings 4 u.
Thank you so much for sharing your personal story. It's a wake up call to all parents. Your sons are vulnerable just as daughters are. I have two daughters who are grown strong successful women. I raised them with the quote from color purple everyday they went out the door, "girl child just ain't safe in a world full of mens". Their friends would look at them like What? My girls would roll their eyes and say " I know, I know!! Girl child ain't safe in a world full of mens!!"
I really appreciate your honesty and experience. It's really something to think of. We can't be with our kids all the time but what we can do is discuss life n it's realities with them and arm our children with information.
Thank you for sharing your story 😊😘🙏🏾
Wow! You’re truly brave for sharing this story to make a point and create a conversation.
Thank you for the transparency Q!!! I think we've all been in situations like this. I was in a very similar situation at 16 with a WAY older man and I just thank God it didn't end horribly! Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ughh I Notice in the Comments People see the Molestation part. . but Completely missing the Reason WHY. . and I feel that will help with there LGBT Children. Yeah i see we STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. *Sighs*
Aaron Fantazii #AFLive They're missing the whole message that he delivered💆♀️
Aaron Fantazii #AFLive Do Dineva wasn't molested?
Gtfoh!
The man was 50 yrs old!
I think people are able to still see the reason, but we are still upset about molestation. I'd feel the same even if it was a heterosexual situation.
Aaron Fantazii #AFLive exactly, thank you.
Missing the full point. The moral of the story is watch yo kids and be there for them as a sounding board no matter who they like. That's what I got from it. Hell, truth be told a lot of us have similar stories. Sure at the base of it, it's molestation however that wasn't the point
Dineva I just watched your DMV workers video and Chile could I stop laughing .!yall watch that video and thank me later. Please do another video about these government workers and attitude problems
pauline Kelly that shit is hilarious
That's one of my all time fav dineva vids lol
That video and the one about crabs
Yes I love that video!
KKRS that crabs video was EVERYTHING!!
Q, this was definitely a necessary story to tell. This is absolutely a universal coming of age story for anybody, gay or straight, of just exploring a world that you don't yet know and a desire to figure it out on your own. As you were telling it my eyes watered thinking of what could have happened to you but didn't. That man was absolutely a predator by all intents and purposes...point blank period. So I am glad that it didn't end differently. I too at the age of 14 met someone (with my sister) while on Blackplanet. It could have ended differently as well other situations I placed myself into at such a young and impressionable age. Under the guise of "I am mature enough to handle this." & "Nothing is going to happen to me", which absolutely shows my actual level of maturity. Thank you for sharing this and pushing the conversation of how necessary it is to communicate with your children no matter how uncomfortable it may be...it is beneficial in the long run!
Thanks for being brave and sharing this story. This is the kind of content that TH-cam needs.