And the best part is that asian parents will tell you "Why you so skinny??? Eat more." Then you eat more, and they say "Why you so fat????" Its just a never ending cycle.
I swear it's my asian family antics that made me insecure and develop all sorts of image and eating issues... I never even had friends who were nasty to me about that stuff, it was just always at home smh
I feel like body-shaming is a lot more socially acceptable in Asian (as well as Latinx) cultures. I try to laugh and change the topic when I encounter women who tell me to eat more or gain weight, but it really makes me uncomfortable.
Thank you Vice Asia for your support. I’m Qinwen Zhang in the video, who once slimmed down to 28kg. Hope everyone who's watching this could pay more attention to Eating Disorder as mental illness.Wish you enjoy your food and stay confident and healthy；）
I’m so happy to hear about your recovery. I struggled and still struggle with an eating disorder sometimes! ❤️ This video was so inspiring and eye opening
As a non-skinny Asian woman, I feel so seen. It is disgusting how social media has made these beauty standards even worse. There was a famous streamer that showed up weighing like 110 lbs, and the Internet tore into her stating she was too chubby. She ended up losing a ton of weight and now they love her. I hate it.
you're upset because people are too hard on themselves ? The competition to look better than others will never end. You're sort of taking an L if you don't look good, even your healths expense.
@@Artaxerxes. well having an eating disorder is literally gonna make you die so fast you won't even realize it lol no promoting death to young women and men is not it
@@Artaxerxes. I actually agree with you but it’s hard to meet certain requirements for certain people. Beauty standards change all the time there will always be someone that doesn’t fit into the trend smh
When I got covid last year, I lost 8kg. It was really hard to force myself to eat when I couldn’t taste anything. I was so exhausted all the time, it was hard for me to eat let alone get up and cook food. But by the time I recovered, I’d lost 8kg. When I finally went back to school and saw family and friends I got two very different responses. My Asian family and relatives applauded my weight loss, saying how good I looked even though it’d been an unintentional outcome of being really ill. They encouraged me to maintain my new weight and gave unwanted tips like only having breakfast and lunch, skipping dinner, etc. Made me feel guilty about eating, etc. Whereas my western friends saw my weight loss and bought me food instead. Saying how I looked so skinny now and if I was okay. If it weren’t for my friends, I think I would’ve had a really hard time eating regularly again. All that really matters is being healthy mentally and physically.
I had an ed back in high school and I got complimented so much for losing a big chunk of my (average) weight over summer. I constantly felt lethargic and like I was about to pass out and school/studying was basically impossible. I got better and am back at my healthy weight now. Then I also got sick by the rona and also lost 10 kg. I was really, really sick and not tasting or smelling anything honestly robbed me of any happiness. My family was mostly concerned but there were some people applauding me for looking so "good" and how my face had slimmed and in addition to long covid for a good 6 months, struggling with these thoughts was really tough. I am so glad I learned how to take care of my body and be kind and nurturing before this happened. I am really glad you have supportive friends who appreaciate your health and take care of you. but just goes to show once more, being skinny doesn't mean you're healthy. Since schooltimes I stopped to comment on the weight or anything of someone. you never know why someone is the way they are honestly just commented because I felt really alone with the rona situation and no one really got the weight thing. glad you seem to be doing good
OMG! I had the same experience during COVID. But the difference is my best friends and family were worried about me where all my teachers said I looked pretty after I lost weight. Most people said I became beautiful after I lost weight. Only a few cared about my health.
@@poushiar1013 so messed up, I hope you don't let these comments get to you! Being healthy and happy is worth so incredibly much more than looking "good" for a few people
A friend of mine had an ED...and loads of people kept saying how pretty that person looked even though they were very unwell. So they got positive feedback for an illness that could kill them....they knew it wasn't helping but then they kept getting told how pretty they looked and how people wanted to look like them! Thankfully they fought hard and have recovered now
My take is that your Asian family is not very concerned with your well-being, but very much concerned with your appearance and conduct, because that reflects on them. You getting sick and going to the hospital does not concern them as much, because while it is unfortunate, there is no shame for them. Collectivism leads to selfish groups that do not care how much the individual suffers.
Alex, the rumba teacher said “if you can’t see my value through my body, it’s your problem, not mine” and “ i’m not happy with my size but I think it’s fine”. Well said lady!
True. What she said is an inspiration, it honestly made me think what exactly is the value behind body image. A lot of people who aren't thin but not too overweight would argue that at least they're healthy, yet some of them still have the nerve to body shame others. I don't think being overweight is ok, but trying to get into standards because of modern culture is unhealthy too. From what I understand from Alex and Cindy, the most important to find value in your self body image is respecting the need of your own body(treat and tend to its health needs) and appreciating the result that it grew into. These are the things that will also lead to having a good and healthy mental growth, which is also essential in living healthily. Cindy and Alex are such inspirational people tbh
Downvoted. I agree with the medical content and the people interviewed, with one major exception. The dance teacher is factually overweight (based on the available footage), and she herself acknowledges the shortfall. You shouldn't be too thin, but you shouldn't be too fat either. Speaking as a fat dude. I mean, come on, where is reality here on that fat dance teacher?
"If you can't see my value because of my body, that's your problem, not my problem" "I think loving yourself is acceptance. Loving yourself doesn't mean that you give yourself a hundred marks. I think for me loving myself is that I can accept my strengths and weaknesses" Well said Alex! Will keep this here for my own reminder (: you're pretty, your personality really shines through and make you so attractive in this video! I want to be as confident as you are :D also, you dance really well! I enjoyed watching you dance with confidence P.s. your cooking looks delicious
It is alright to be concern or not know about what happens after this life. Fortunately there's a way to not suffer, not be in danger, not be poor, not get hurt, not have to work in vain, not have to feel any kind of negative vibe, and not to get tired anymore. Imagine you will be invincible, immortal, and holy with a new, upgraded body to the core! Imagine everyone around you will be the same as you. Isn't that a delightful thought? It's true you or anyone can have eternal life. All you got to do is to accept Jesus Christ 🙏 as your Savior! Once you do, He will let you into heaven during your day when you finally see Him!
I’m a Russian young woman. Although I have never really suffered from an eating disorder, it has haunted me everywhere. In childhood, I was thin and a little girl. My weight was completely normal for my age category. But because genetically I don't have an elongated torso and waist but rather wide hips and short legs, I seemed a little wider than others (although I don't think so now). At the age of 12, I liked one boy, but I couldn't admit it to him for a long time because I was afraid of his negative reaction. But I confessed to him. After that moment, my life turned into a living hell. He said that I was too fat (like a pig) and that he would never look at people like me in his life. This person stalked me, bullied me, and did many other offensive things that left me deeply traumatized (I still can't be in a relationship with another person). This was the first trigger of my addiction to food. In the following years, I could stand for hours in the mirror and look at my body. All their "imperfections", wide hips, my square figure, and thick legs. At the age of 15, I found out that my close friend had an ED, she lost a lot of weight, and looked sick and tired. She never let me help her and was afraid of doctors. I couldn't help her, she didn't listen to anyone. She is still suffering, despite the efforts of doctors. This was the second big trigger for me. I just hated mirrors and stopped wearing beautiful things that I liked because of my figure. I started wearing super big pants and sweaters. I became disgusted with eating, I looked at the food and thought that all my problems were only because of it. My parents always supported me and never told me about my appearance, because it only made my complexes worse. But it didn't affect me at all, so I skipped meals and (Suicide Trigger) injured myself for hating myself, my body, and my appearance. I just hated everything in myself. Although at that time in my life there were no people who caused triggers. On the contrary, my friends called me cute and pretty. One girl even said that I have a beautiful and big ass and she is jealous because of that😂🤡🤟. But it didn't help, all my thoughts were about becoming flat and having a skinny figure. Such as the girls had at my school. I wanted to wear skirts, but I didn't. I wanted to wear T-shirts, but a skin disease and thick hands did not allow it. I didn't see the feeling of satiety, it scared me. Because I immediately felt fat and swollen. And I liked the emptiness inside. It gave me at least some waist and a flat stomach. But all the same, the part of my mind responsible for logic said that it was wrong and food was needed for existence. So I don't think I had a real eating disorder, I just think I, like many young girls, had a bad experience with food. But I am glad that there have always been people in my environment who have helped me. Without them, I would have snapped and committed suicide at 16... Now I also suffer from my appearance and body. But I'm working on it. Of course, I'm addicted to food, but in a different sense. I like to cook and try different cuisines. Now I'm experimenting and eating more plant foods. Although, like all people, I break down and return to the old habits of skipping meals and feeling guilty for the food I ate. But now I just got rid of a lot of triggers, especially from social networks and accounts with unhealthy weight loss nutrition. I have lost people because of ED and many have committed suicide, so I want to value my life more and live for those who could not enjoy it. I want to say that no matter who you are and what you look like, and what you love, don't let some unrealistic standards or the desire of others take away the most valuable thing - it's you. When this thought came to me, I cried for a long time like a baby. So simple, but so hard to figure out. I speak about that because I'm someone who almost passed away willingly. If you are struggling now, just know, I’m here, and let me hug you through a difficult time 🫶🥹
You definitely have an ED and body dysmorphic disorder. I can guarantee you’d meet the criteria in an evaluation. But that label won’t exactly change anything for you. Many of us with EDs deny it or think we can’t be sick enough to count. There are so many people with EDs who never seek treatment because it’s just not normalized, but what is normalized is starving yourself for the sake of the thin beauty standard and men valuing women on their looks. Society as a whole objectifies women. It’s something many girls grow up struggling with but it’s a disorder nonetheless. Hoping you find peace with all this.
I lived in japan for a year and starved myself and was applauded by other students and my hostparents, who also encouraged it. before that they had commented on my weight every single day and had struggled with an eating disorder prior to coming to japan. i could not explain to them that i was suffering from ED because it simply was not "an issue" there.
@Forcedtolie Aboutblacks im sorry, i'm not too sure what youre getting at, but for a human to function properly there still needs 10-30% of fat, especially in women.
The most disturbing thing about this is, it's a mindset problem so it's going to be VERY difficult to change their mind even if they want to. It's a belief that has been planted by the society (perpetuated by humans of course) to think that being physically beautiful, skinny will make you happier and 'worthier'. And because it's so deep rooted in their mind, they will actually be happier achieving that standard vs not achieving it. Most of the misery comes when they aren't able to achieve the standard. Im a Korean woman who lived in America for during my adolescent years, and the lookism culture in Korea has deeply affected me even as a child that even though I recognize its problem and try to combat it for my OWN sake, It's almost impossible to get rid of it. It's almost as if the belief system has been permanently programmed in my mind. Part of me believes that if I was able to achieve the beauty standard, I would be happy and worthy, but part of me knows that the standard does more harm than good in societal level. So I just hope that it gets better for the kids of future generations.. but tbh it seems like it's getting worse and worse.
Being obese doesn’t do any good tho, most of the fat acceptance of today is to be happy about being obese and dying at 25 from a heart attack or something.
That's why in what i strongly believe we all should strive to be in just middle ground,everage healthy weight,not too heavy or too thin to risk your health. It's sad honestly to heard,i hope in times you will love yourself fully,just remember take care of your health first,it's your,not anyone else.
@@MrEvelyn04 That’s false and I hate that people think that. There are so many different body types that don’t even classify as obese, and some people who are considered obese are perfectly healthy. Some have a thyroid issue and can’t lose weight. You’re speaking actual nonsense, you people only care about others health when it benefits you.
You can not force happiness. What most people does not understand is that joy needs SONSCIOUSNESS to work. Telling yourself that you are happy when you are not DOES NOT WORK. They TELL THEMSELVES that they are happy and manipulated, NOT actually being happy. They just do not know better.
This needs to be addressed. I’m 53 and in the UK, and in the 80’s and 90’s, everything here made you feel ashamed to have a normal figure. Every girl I knew as a teenager hated how fat they were, even with tiny waists. I still cannot stand to look at my own body, the shame is so ingrained in me that I cannot change it no matter how I try. I feel that people should not have to look at me. All because of how “size zero” was pushed by all media and everywhere you looked back then. Doesn’t matter that this country isn’t doing it now, I still have it in my head that I have to be skinny to be worthy. China needs to address this or todays teenagers will be affected for life, like I am.
It is alright to be concern or not know about what happens after this life. Fortunately there's a way to not suffer, not be in danger, not be poor, not get hurt, not have to work in vain, not have to feel any kind of negative vibe, and not to get tired anymore. Imagine you will be invincible, immortal, and holy with a new, upgraded body to the core! Imagine everyone around you will be the same as you. Isn't that a delightful thought? It's true you or anyone can have eternal life. All you got to do is to accept Jesus Christ 🙏 as your Savior! Once you do, He will let you into heaven during your day when you finally see Him!
Beauty standards constantly change. There was a skinny fad in the West too during the 80s-90s through magazines and supermodels. Being the healthiest you is the most beautiful you lol. Don't let changing standards control you.
all of this that china is starting is about CAPITALISM and PROFIT. they are the major producers of almost everything, including fabric and clothing, and making people believe that THIN is the in thing will only make them "profit" more in the sense that they could sell clothing at the same high price but LESS MATERIAL is used to produce it.
I’m Japanese and after I moved to Canada to study, I was really surprised coz my Asian friends always care about their body and weight and say "I gotta lose more weight" while most of non-Asian friends don’t care. I mean some of them care and it’s not just in Asia though. Tbh almost everyone in Japan, especially women think “being skinny is being beautiful“. I used to think that too and it’s natural to believe that since there are many cute girls who are skinnier than me on social media and people like them. U know we can see how many likes those girls get and obviously many people like skinny, pretty girls coz it’s beauty standard. People who managed to lose their weight say “You should start a diet if you want to be pretty and popular” and that post gets 10k likes. A 14 year old innocent girl who had no confidence believed that and started too extreme diet. It’s me. I thought I could love myself and just be pretty but I never thought I was skinny enough or I was so pretty that I could be confident. It just made me scared to eat food. It was really toxic that people around me always said “ You’re so skinny! I wanna be like u” I felt like everyone was judging me. Luckily in Canada I met new friends and I started to think that I don’t have to care about my body and others anymore!! People in here don’t say anything about my body and it’s just so comfortable. Now I’m back to Japan and when I see my friends and their parents, they always say that I don’t look like I gained weight though I went to Canada. (Many people think people gain weight after studying abroad because food in abroad is not that healthy as what we eat in Japan. ) Anyways, they think I would be glad if I hear that I’m still skinny but it just makes me stressful. I don’t want anyone to say anything about my body. I hate that beauty standard and hope people won’t care about that too much.
@@thelastChang lol good for you. You are my idol . personally I like BMI 16. but we all know it is a little risky for human body. I'm from Iran as I said. In my country people say I may die from being skinny. There is no one thinner than me in my family or my friends. It is so depended on the cultures. Under "66 korean size" people will gaze at you like you have a problem. Iranian people use to think that if you are under bmi 20, you may have a problem like addiction to drugs or etc. Actually I do not like my body. I feel like I have to go on a diet and aim for 52 kg. But you dare to tell my mom? She soon will buy my favorite fruit, meet, ice-cream, nuts, etc. to encourage me for eating more 😭😂 Funny. Yeah? Beauty standards in my culture is crazy. Iranian guys are 170 to 180 cm so they like girls in 160 to 168 cm. They like curvey girls like bmi 23. Being curvy in my culture is also a sing of good chance for having healthy children. Btw. Actual word for "Greeting" in Persian is "چاق سلامتی" You can read "chagh salâmati" "Chagh" means fat "Salamat"i means health. It says undirectly: "If you are fat, you are healthy." Crazy yeah? Well it has a long story behind this kind of culture. But let me mention: before 18th century, food was not available like the modern life. You had to walk a lot and work a lot. Also Iran had a cold weather. So if you were fat, you had a better chance to survive. After all the main matter is not changed: I LIKE BMI 16 😁❤️
Growing up in Brazil i always faced a different problem: being too skinny. My body type is far away from the perfect body figure in my country, people always said to me how i was skinny and tall and how much i needed to gain some weight. These comments always affected me until now, when i learned how to love me the way i am. Also im 1.93m and 64kg, genetics plays a big role for me since my whole family is skinny and tall
i got the same problem, i have some thickness on my arms and legs, but still being tall, skinny with no hips or tits and welp, totally different as my country's (colombia) or latina beauty cannons, it makes me a bit sad to look girls my same age more curvy than me hahah 😿
this is how i feel but here in America. people are so used to seeing overweight people, that once they see someone that's slightly skinny or thin, they automatically think it's unhealthy
Same as a black girl growing up in America. I was constantly ridiculed for being too skinny, I literally hated looking in the mirror at myself for years.
I really liked what the Zumba instructor said. Loving ourselves doesn’t mean we have to feel good about our bodies. Our bodies do so much for us, despite how we feel about our bodies, it’s important to accept it and learn to be neutral about it. Thank you for sharing a light on ED. As a normal weight person, I feel our eating disorder is often overlooked and people don’t understand the severity of it.
The "body neutral" concept has already helped me so much. When I think of how valuable it is to have a body that can is healthy and comfortable, that helps me communicate with others and experience things, that lets me do physical activities, I become thankful for it and value self-care rather than feeling that self-hatred and shame. Fear that you're not "good enough" is a prison. If someone is willing to look down on me because of my body, what they're withholding from me was never love to start with. So yeah anyway finding a joyful reason to care for myself has helped immensely
I have two legs, two arms, they work, my brain iscongnative, my body moves withour restriction and breathes, digests, works optimally.. I does it's job and well. For that I am grateful.
As someone who struggled with ED, seeing this made me both extremely grateful to have that behind me, but also very sad knowing others feel as emotionally messed up as I did. This is even worse.
Same here. I'm 24yo now I've been underweight most of my life (not just because of ED though, I'm naturally skinny because I lack appetite but I've also had ED in my teens) and it's crazy how much better I feel when I'm not underweight, like I can't even imagine going back to being underweight. I support being healthy thin but these people clearly aren't healthy and that sucks.
I've been anorexic in the past two years, i am in a better shape and weight now, this has been a culmination of my parents and their friends that i was left unsupervised in the kitchen, you know what that means.
I was also diagnosed with an Ed when i was 14. I was this 6ft girl weighing 92 ibs. Ive been in remission ever since, and I'm now 20 weighing 107ib. Long way to go but I'm happy with my progress.
I'm a recovering heroin addict, and I get so sad hearing tales of addiction, be it drugs, food, gambling etc, because I hate to think of anyone feeling the way I felt. When u know, u know.
I have an autoimmune disorder. When I was 27, I became so ill I had to take a five week leave of absence from work. My internal organs were so swollen they pressed against my stomach and gave me a constant feeling of always being full. I struggled so much to eat that along with all of my other issues, I seriously thought I may die. I tried to eat spoonfuls of peanut butter because I physically was incapable of eating any normal volume of food. I lost an absurd amount of weight in a very short time. At 5’8” I fit an American size 0-2. EVERYONE told me how great I looked. Dull, grayish skin, sunken eyes with dark circles, but I was SKINNY! So I looked so good. It was very disheartening to me that everyone thought I looked better when I was dying. On top of how extremely thin I was, these people knew I had dropped a drastic amount of weight in a very short time span. But it didn’t matter. I was skinny.
People are sick and this is every where We have an illness Its called The Self and it appears it is every place on the planet I would like to think that if these people (women and men) could put the time into healing the world that they do in fixating on how thin their legs are that we would live in a different world Its amazing the oppsession that is with the self
NO OFFENSE TO YOU ALL! I'm doing this out of good intent. God does love non Christians. God knows we are all sinners. What is sin? Sin is an action that is not good and done or thought out of bad intentions. We all lie, trick others, and are prideful/selfish sometimes. God (Jesus Christ) came down in the form as an human and died for our sins. He resurrected from death thus we can also defeat death 💀 if anyone of us accept Him as Savior for our sins. We cannot save ourselves from sin no matter how many good deeds we do. Everyday we sin. Christians do too. But if you are a Christian ✝️, you will go to heaven when God plays back your whole life to you. But if you die without being a Christian ✝️, then you will suffer forever 💔 without being in heaven. God doesn't judge you based on worldly success nor physical attraction. Jesus Christ loves ❤️ you and values your character. If u end up being poor, He still won't abandon you. You can pray 🙏 to reach out to Him, and you'll see what He will do for you and others. Sometimes He will see if you will trust His will which is not always the same as your will nor desire. But He does what He knows is best for you despite us not knowing that. Have a nice day!
Korea: obsessed with facial features China: skinny waist Japan: cuteness America: hourglass figure India: fair complexion Europe: porcelain skin with red lips I am sure other countries must have had their own obsessions. Such a wor!d we live in
I think Europeans also value being “skinny”. It’s not necessarily age old European beliefs but rather influenced by the western couture beauty and fashion industry and also the entertainment industries . These Ppl are giving our children an unhealthy obsession with their outer bodies and not enough focus on their intelligence . And the skin colour thing is across all races so I don’t agree with the person. I mean obsession with fair skin is also Amongst black people and all of east asia!. We have racism amongst the same race apparently some of us are too brown or black and others brown and fair but not fair enough 😂. East asia has more whitening creams than india , india is jealous 😂. I shouldn’t laugh it’s really pathetic .
@@lefweakshow871 agree, I came to the UK from Scandinavia, and people keep asking if I'm ill. No bruh, I'm just pale af. People keep trying to make me go to a tanning salon or use selftanning creams. I like being ghostly white, I have no sun damage on my skin, no wrinkles even tho I'm closing 45 this year. Yet my paleness somehow offends people. Just let me enjoy my shady forest in peace, I don't want sunny beaches. >,
@@lefweakshow871 really? Woah,ironic,that in europe,want to tan their skin,that here in my country,more whiter you are,more beautiful you are in others eyes,funny how its always look greener in other sides huh
I lived in Hong Kong for a summer while doing my college internship. My first day in the office, a young man came up to me, grab my wrist and said to his coworker in Chinese "Wow, look, her wrist is so fat. I can barely fit my fingers around it!" My mouth drop, probably with a look of horror. How do you respond to a comment like that? His coworker told him I understand Chinese. He looked me straight in the face and said in English "Well, it's true. You need to loose weight." I am 5'3" and 105lbs! I didn't think much of it since it was one dumb random comment. I went to a clothing store and was shock to find that I barely fit into their 1 size fits all clothes and my feet were on their XL size. My shoe size is 6.5! The 2 sales girls were giggling (I know it was at me because I understand them) I was there for a summer and felt the body shaming. I can only imagine growing up there. The pressure and ridicule to be skinny and tiny.
I’ve always been skinny but growing up in Latinamerica that’s not an asset at all. I used to feel very self conscious about not having the curvaceous figure considered as the beauty standard in that part of the world. I moved to Australia at 19 and seeing so many versions of beauty opened up my eyes. Fast forward a few years and a I got into a car accident and badly broke my leg and elbow. It was a blessing in disguise as for the first time I started to look at my body not for what it looked like but for what it did for me, what it had allowed to do prior to the accident which I had never truly appreciated. It’s hard to care about the shape of your legs when you can’t walk. Several surgeries later and I can go places again….Now I talk to my body and tell it: “ As long as you’re healthy you can be any shape you choose to be”. I’m still skinny but thankful for my body.
I remember weighing 43 kg one day at 26 yo and just staring at my legs, admiring them. Later that day I ran into an old friend and she was so shocked to see my hollow face. She touched my cheeks and asked me if I was okay. I had not paid attention to my face up until that point. I didn’t listen to her at the time, but when I look at pictures from back then, I can now see what she meant. It looked so lifeless and I just never saw that. Only things that mattered to me were my bones sticking out, my skinny legs, my boney back.. Today I weigh almost 20 kg more and I got my chubby cheeks back. And I actually look younger today than when I did back then. Seeing these girls faces before and after reminded me of that time. And they all look so beautiful as well.
It is so sad that so many women, do not want to be affected , but we ALL ARE. We know weight should not be that important, but in our mind, during our grow up time, we are planted the idea of we can not be fat ,we need to be thinner. It can not be changed. It is frustrated. It is a typical sign that feminism is we weak in China. We do not have the rights to be in any weights in a peaceful mood. We are worried all the time. There is so much pain inside.
As a Chinese woman, I deeply understand the body standards they talking about. It's really frustrating and hopeless when people so care about the weight of woman, even women themselves.
Western standards are far more tough, In Far East and Far Southeast Asia, everyone knows its near impossible for an East Asian woman to have beautiful feminine curves (big bra size, big womanly bottom and hip sizes) ALONG with their skinny waist no fat on belly, so people expect less of them. So they just settle with manly skinny flat as the standard🚪. Whereas outside the Far East, women are known for big pretty bottom and hip and bra sizes, while also skinny thin waist no fat on belly ⏳🍑🔥💕
@@myrnaa6065 I would say both are toxic and dangerous. They are only achievable by doing harm to your body or getting work done (except if you have the "right" genetics to be considered beautiful by the current beauty standards). I think it's not good to compare it and say that one is worse than the other.
My friend is Chinese and it makes me so sad when she tells me that her relatives and friends call her out for being "chubby" and "ugly". They also put a lot of pressure on her to get married and have children. I wish I could make her feel better about it all and I hope that she realises that she is good the way she is.
As an Asian who came to UK for over 2 years, now I'm always surprised and enraged so much by the body shaming comments on Chinese social media when I log back into them. It's a mix feeling of "OMG how can you say that" and "I bet everyone around you had said the same thing to you." It's so absurd since I'm using western TikTok at the same time and so many people will be called out for this type of behaviour. It's literally a parallel universe, people in Asia think it's a way of looking out for your health but it's nothing more than toxic verbal abuse. Not to mention that almost every time jumping on a video call with my mom after a while, the first thing she'd say is "You should stop eating so much and control your body a bit, your face looks fat." Thanks god that my dad sometime will just tell her to shush. Updated Guys, not my mom today in the family group chat after I posted this comment lmao Me: sending pictures of my lunch yesterday(pesto pasta) and this morning’s breakfast (avocado toast) My mom: you should cut down on the carbs, that’s how you can stay away from being fat Me inside: AHHHHHHHH WOMAN LET ME LIVE
Omg completely relatable! When I visit my family in China everyone around me tells me I need to lose weight, like straight to my face. This type of behaviour would be completely unacceptable in the western world. It's not acceptable anywhere really and that's why many girls in China suffer low self-esteem, depression and eating disorders.
Also experienced some of that from my aunt 💀 I'm an American trans guy (my family is from Vietnam), so hearing my vain aunt tell me I was getting fat when puberty hit and then, several years later, remark about how slim I got when she saw me while I was wearing a chest binder for the first time, was insane. The sheer audacity of some people, lmao.
It's been a thing in asian cultures to be called fat by the older family members your mom aunt cousins etc would all be blatant and say "you look fat". So it's not a new thing asian girls have been taught this way by the older generation
As an Asian from PH, I was born thin. I got bullied and my lunch always been taken away from me when I was young and got social anxieties and trauma. When I got the freedom, I ate a lot to regain myself. However, I became too fat. I sometimes had rough times because clothes are kinda difficult to find for my size, and Im about 80kg with 5'3 height right now. But I never said I hated it. In fact im happy this way. Thats how you know people would like me the way I am, and not how I physically look like. Your body will degrade and become old and lumpy in the future, but people who will be loyal to you will always be there. Thats all I need. Now, not "All asians" like thin as stick like some of these people are. Sexy and malnourished body are two completely different things. They dont define beauty to some countries. We are all aware they're unhealthy. Its your choice if you want this kind of body, but remember. Beauty will be nothing if youre near lying down your death bed.
I’m from Singapore, and I used to get compliments when I was borderline underweight. The problem is that when I’m an actual healthy weight, my face is very round since I tend to put fat on my face before anywhere else. I eventually got diagnosed with a medical issue and got treatment, which led to me putting on weight (I’m at the ideal weight for my height now). But I actually got people telling me how round my face is and that I have a slight double chin. I don’t care though, my body looks great now! I actually have meat and a good shape. I can’t help my fat distribution, just gotta learn to love what you have as long as you’re healthy.
I just wanted you to know and to tell you… there is nothing, absolutely nothing problematic or unfortunate about your round face. Round, square, plump, angular, oval, whatever it is… it’s you. There is no other you. Look around. You’re unique. And you’re beautiful, not because you look like this or that or blah blah blah… but just because you ARE. x
I’m from the west, but had recently lost twenty pounds whenever I was already thin. I remember many telling me “how beautiful” and “model-like” I looked. Positive reinforcement really hurts in that sense. I was so weak and pale, there was no color in my face and I was always light headed. It wasn’t until my boyfriend said “you look so gaunt and tired, please eat more, I love you” that I realized it was a big deal
@@bdh711 they just said that this happened to them in the west though. they are just sharing a personal story, no need to discount it because you personally don't think it could happen.
People praising these unhealthy standards in the comment section are disgusting. These women aren't thin, they're underweight, dangerously so. Imagine calling a bunch of teen girls ugly for not being sickly thin. It seems like people just love to insult fat people and say "but their health" without understanding the health risks of being underweight.
exactly the "skinny" bodies they are praising are not normal, they are unhealthy and underweight and sickeningly underweight is the standard while anyone who's average is considered FAT
As someone who suffered an ed, both overeating and undereating, I regularly followed Kpop model diets and it ruined my whole mentality over food. Thank you for emphasizing this “normalized” issue that’s nationwide.
Beauty is the state you feel comfortable in. She is absolutely right about that. Nothing can make you more beautiful than when you feel completely comfortable in your own skin. I love that we were able to see three different perspectives about the same topic in this video. It gives an insight into how everyone perceives beauty differently. Don't go for the trends, go for what's healthy for you, what makes you comfortable and what makes you feel good. Don't let anything force or influence you to change that. Like Cindy said, be in control of your own body, you're it's best handler. No one else is.
Ngl. Whenever I look at Chinese,Japanese and Korean standards I feel very blessed to have been born in India. There was a trend amongst girls of my age to be thin but our parents and elders would always emphasise on eating properly,engaging in sports and reading. My mom and teachers would always make sure I ate. There was once a time I did not bring my lunch box and every person(teacher incl.) gave me some stuff from their box on a plate to eat so that I do not go hungry.
I'm from Southeast Asia and throughout my teen years my own family would comment on my body, how I was too chubby, my butt was too big, etc. I eventually developed bulimia and secretly kept it up for years to gain acceptance, whether it's from society, friends, or family. It slowly escalated into chronic gastritis and I now experience pains from mild spicy food, skipping a meal, indigestion, mild oral medication, and heart burn among others. My husband was pivotal in my stopping bulimia and I'm slowly learning to accept a body that is healthy rather than skinny. Remember, those people giving external gratification aren't going to be there when you fall ill or feel down. You have to rely on your own strength and a healthy body is one way to do that.
Im also south East Asian and luckily I don’t live in a country with any beauty standards or things like that (I’m bruneian) but even with so many healthy and normal bodies around me, no body shaming, nothing negative honestly still it’s hard not to feel bad about a body… I’m a person who since the age of 6 I had many insecurities especially bc my friends were quite thin… I never realized until now but those insecurities were worst in 3rd grade and I never realized how skinny I was in 3rd grade… even now it’s still hard being slightly anorexic but yea… remember ur body is beautiful and u never need to change a thing 🤍
yes. I notice a normalization of gastric problems and other health issues as you describe among my girl friends as they age. I always thought they are just naturally small portion eaters and they really "so busy that they forgot to eat". It is when all the health issues come up and I start realizing it can be related to their unhealthy eating habits. But still, nobody is willing to acknowledge that that is the cause. They are still insisting that they are eating properly and their husbands and boyfriends also insist they are naturally small eaters.
I’m from Southeast Asia and all those comments backhandedly complimenting my skinniness even though I just carelessly eat I just laughed and ate my food more loudly in front of them jajajaja Life is short, just do what makes you happy. If that’s dieting sure. If that’s eating, sure.
I'm also from Southeast Asia and when I was 15 a relative told my mother "It's okay she will lose weight during puberty by herself ❤" that hurts, ngl, especially because my bmi was normal (this is like the tamest thing someone said when I was younger)
“I’m not happy with my size right now. But I think that’s fine” Awesome level of nuance to see, genuinely. Feels like in western discussions too, this isn’t really brought up. People should absolutely be in an environment to be able to accept their bodies for what they are. BUT they should also be in a position to themselves be unhappy with their body and want change, without that affecting the rest of their life.
I grew up in China until I come to the States at age of 14. I always think of myself as not skinny enough and it really makes me feel bad about myself. Sadly, this unhealthy mental thought never go away in my mind. I was chubby in High School and I lost a lot of weight 5'7 height and 132 lb. However, I feel the same way as now 235lb... I don't know why. Looking back at my pictures in HS, I realized I was so slim. Now I just want to lose weight but so hard...
This obsession of the thinner the better has been around, particularly for East Asian women, for a long time. Japan and Korea are the other two obsessive nations. I never knew being curvy (c. 50kg = 110lb) was attractive until I moved to the US as a teenager. And when I relocated to live in the UK later on, I was always labelled as tiny. I literally thought people were bonkers uttering such a nonsense. The gap between what I was led to believe I was in East Asia vs what others in the West saw was mind boggling.
@@mslondonlove1435 yes! I'm asian and i have curly hair, i'm too short and i have muscular legs. Oh the comments i got growing up were crazy and it did affect me in a lot of ways. From parents, relatives, co-workers, strangers and even ppl same age and friends. Now i accept myself. The goal is to live healthy. When ppl comment on my legs i always say, "at least my legs bring me to places you'll never be" or "hey i could walk with them, right?" shuts them up Or the classic: Them: "you gained weight!" Me: " i know! You too!" Puts them in place. Ahahaha.
I'm honestly thankful to my parents that we immigrated out of South Korea. As much as I love my country, it's got major issues. The toxic work and study culture, misogyny, the high ass beauty standards, the abelism and mistreatment of people born with mental conditions and physical disadvantages, the homophobia of my country and its high amount of dangerous cults and toxic religious people. I know it's not all bad, but i'm scared of what i'll experience when I eventually have to go back.
I remember when I took my last math class in college. We were in class during a break and I was eating some chips. An Asian guy that was very friendly with me asked me if I had gained weight. The girl sitting next to me was really shocked, and told him not to say something like that or asked him how he could say that, I forgot exactly what she said. I just told him I didn't know, and I honestly don't since the only times I get weighed is when I go to the doctor which isn't that often. Later, when I was studying at the library, same guy came and sat down at my table. He asked me the same thing and said I should lose 5-10 lbs. I just told him I was focused on passing the class, since I'm bad at math, and that my weight or losing weight wasn't a priority. Can't say I was offended, I was just surprised at his nosiness. Like, how does my weight affect him in any way? 🤣 I do suspect he may have been interested in me, like I said, he was very friendly with me. So ig maybe he just wanted his future gf to be skinny? 😂 Anyways, that wasn't going to happen.
Be glad you are not in Asia. If you share this story in any Asian context, they will be busy telling you how that guy is interested in you and you feel flattered instead and consider dating him. As if anyone can get attracted to rude meanie control freak.
that's hilarious haha, boys are just so self-absorbed that they think what we do or look like is FOR them, like we're some sort of ornament to look at. it's pathetic honestly. other than that, i'm glad u didn't let it get the hold of you and remained authentic!
Wow! Sorry to hear about this. I can only imagine how he may have said something like this to other women or girls and caused them to develop EDs or complexes about their bodies...all the while he thinks he was being "nice" and "helpful". So disturbing!
@@naev.3344 Yeah, like I said I wasn't really offended. I still tell people about it as a funny story and we crack up about it. We were also in uni so I didn't really care about it. But maybe if I was still in highschool it would've affected me negatively. Tbh, he wasn't hot shit, either, so I really didn't care what he had to say lol
I visited China for the first time recently, I can concur that beauty standard in China is really toxic. Other than stick thin, they do not accept any other body image and body shape. I remember shopping for clothes and I could only fit into size L but it was slightly tight (when I'm consistently a UK8/10), the sales assistant asked me to lose some weight. As a gym enthusiast and a frequent marathon runner, that comment was appaling to me. I hope with more awareness, this will change one day.
Its amazing (and disturbing) to read so many off all your comments. So many of you describe your experience in so much detail. All experiences about expected body standards, but so many from different countries with different expectations. Thankyou all for sharing. For me, a guy from Holland, it is something we know exist but are blissfully unaware how it is like. Keep sharing the stories!
It really hit home how she could look in the mirror and know that she didn't look good and needed to gain weight but still be unable to reconcile that feeling with wanting to be thin.
@@Babycake. A big part of disordered eating is about control. Control over yourself, willpower. If you control yourself enough you can have what you want (a thin body). To gain weight means that you've lost that control.
Unfortunately these sort of body standards are seeping into India because of intsa, bollywood and kdramas. For example when I was 13 years old a group of mean girls in my class asked why I was fat (aap itne motte kyu ho?) . I was literally shocked by this question. My figure at that time was like the healthy girls shown in this video. I simply replied as a joke that my school uniform made me look fat. “Yeah right” One of the girls replied and made up a puffed up face to ridicule me. Later that year that same girl’s friend had fainted in the science laboratory. When she was offered a bar of chocolate after recovering she refused it like it was going to poison her. At that instant I realised that she was suffering from body image issues. She was extremely thin( not like a skeleton that they are showing in the video but she was at the verge of becoming one) and was considered one of the the most popular and beautiful girl in the school. It pains me to see that even the people who tried to ridicule my body are not comfortable in their own body. edit: Seriously it's heart breaking to read people's stories in the comment section. I'm just here to say that I support all of you. Because I've been there. Fortunately I have parents who understood me and forced me to lead a healthy lifestyle i.e enough food and right exercise(walking and yoga). I still have certain amount of belly fat and chubby round face. But I love it. No matter what anyone says. It's there for a reason. It proves that you are completely healthy and normal. It also doesn't matter if you are skinny or very fat. What matters is you fulfil your body's and heart's need. Not other people's judgements.
Yes people with flawed views dumping their thoughts on others cause inside they must've been really insecure to encounter someone that is living his/her life that doesn't seem to really care about what she cares.
Indian here. Keep doing your thing. Health is so so important, I can't stress this enough. I had a toxic ex-bestfriend who constantly commented on my eating habits. I developed an ed and I was dangerously skinny. Although being skinny looks good on the outside, I was always anxious and nervous - my mental health was down the drain. When I "broke up" with that friend, I gradually started eating more and it did wonders for my constant anxiety and fainting. I know a lot if people will have similar stories or may be even different ones. But the point I'm trying to make is that please please don't let others opinions of you get to you. Eat good and eat healthy.
I used to have hard times too in my 20s. I was so aware of my weight. I am over 175 cm at that time. You can say I am tall for average asian girl. And of course my weight is much more than other girls. People always say that they didn't expect me to weigh this much or I have a big belly or bla bla. And I tried to lose weight and always tried to suck my belly in. I worked out everyday. Trying to lose weight. Trying to have an hourglass shape. Trying to be pretty. And everyday is like a hell. Everywhere is hurt, my arm, my leg, my belly, my heart. There is nowhere that is not hurt. But I overcome that. Right now I feel happy with my body and I still work out. But just for feeling good. Working out makes me less suffer from bloating and period pain. Since I am not aiming for any weight lose or body type, I am starting to enjoy it too ❤
I lived in china for 6 years and this is so super accurate. After lunch times the bathrooms at my company would always smell awful only to later realise it was because lots of girls would puke after their meals and it was so normal. All the conversations i had with my chinese friends was about their body size but they were not comfortable talking about the methods they use to loose weight. The amount of pressure they go through is so bad n they way they are so mean to each other is even worse. I dont think it will change anytime soon its so ingrained in them.
@@alexfrank5331 How is she full of narcissism when she literally said about herself "I don't feel comfortable in my body but I think self-love is accepting yourself" ???? A narcissist wouldn't admit they feel uncomfortable lmao
Downvoted. I agree with the medical content and the people interviewed, with one major exception. The dance teacher is factually overweight (based on the available footage), and she herself acknowledges the shortfall. You shouldn't be too thin, but you shouldn't be too fat either. Speaking as a fat dude. I mean, come on, where is reality here on that fat dance teacher?
@@alexfrank5331 Wow whatever did she say to offend you that you felt inclined to accuse of narcissism? Seems like you have some esteem issues of your own, feeling slighted by a woman who has self-confidence.
As a western woman from the USA, I lived in mainland China for about a year. The beauty standards over there shocked me. The obsession with being very underweight is rampant. I lost 30 pounds while being there because I was constantly ridiculed for having a bmi of 23. Unfortunately, when I came back the idea of staying and getting thinner stuck with me. I don’t want to blame my experience in China for my eating disorder but it introduced me to the power I had over my own body and consumption. Now I am mocked for being very thin over here in the states. It’s honestly really crazy to think that if I went over there now, I’d still be considered chubby even though I am technically underweight here. Otherwise, China was a beautiful place with wonderful culture and scenery and I made many good friends.
If you mean the men said that to you over there, you're lying, thats not how they were with me being slim thicc hourglass⏳🔥 lmao. They know NON Far East Asian women are more curvy feminine beautiful and don't judge foreigners with same standards, likely its just the women, then they were just jealous of your curves 💕💅 sis (they usually have the tiniest flattest bra size, and bottom and hip size).
Your BMI should be around 17.7 after losing 30 pounds. It's strange that you're mocked for it in the Western Hemisphere. It's an ideal weight by Western beauty standards. Do you live in an area with many immigrants from non-European backgrounds?
@@maryeverett2266 Everywhere thats not the Far East or Far Southeast Asia has practically the same body beauty standard, slim thick curvy hourglass ⏳💕, meaning... Big bottom and hips and bra size, all the while skinny thin waist no fat on belly. Everywhere has this beauty standard because its based on a womans natural sexual dimorphic traits. Everywhere except Far East Asian Women, because they usually have tiny bra size, tiny bottom size, and flat hip size.
@@myrnaa6065 I’ll be honest, most East Asian men have no interest in foreigners other than a one night stand, because they think you’re more open minded than an East Asian girl
my gf was in Korea before we met. She tried to lose weight by some extreme methods such as vomiting, no food, etc. I can feel her desperation when she talked about the story. I feel like that's some typical Asian way to define beauty even tho it's harmful to health. But thanks God now, we both started work out. Amazingly, our sense of beauty also changed a lot from skinny to fit.
As a girl whose mom is filipino (southeast asian) and Chinese (East Asian), these habits shows that my mom shows are crazy. Ever since I was younger she would push me into loosing weight and encourages me to it aswell, I understand the body standards. My mom had an eating disorder building up. She and I did this diet together, we skipped breakfast, ate a boiled egg for lunch then for dinner it would be a salad but for my sake she would give me a small bowl of rice and vegetables. Not only was I not eating well I also had activities, ballet, dance, kumon, instruments and more. I was at the edge of fainting, o top of that they would over work me in ballet, such as pushing me to the limits and all of that. As for now my mom has somewhat recovered although I still think about how I look, my weight and all of that. My mom isn't at full fault at this, her family encouraged her on loosing weight and making sure she is fit. I hope that in the future no one experiences this problem. Im a teenager who has a problem on looks and the judgement of others, for people they see me as someone so skinny but in my eyes Im not good enough.
Wanting to lose weight and be healthy is perfectly okay, if it's for yourself. The problem begins when you don't know when to stop. That's how it is for me at least.
Once you start it’s no big deal but getting to stop is so hard. Those urges are so strong you would think I was taking drugs the way I was so addicted to feeling hungry
@@butterfree93148lifestyle that’s not true, being thin is always more healthy than being obese. There was a morbidly obese man who didn’t eat for a whole year and was able to lose the weight and be healthier than before
I know this is an easy thing to say for an old guy such as me (57 years), but I also had struggles in my youth. Now when I'm old I'd like to say to the younger version of myself as well as to you young ladies out here struggeling with accepting yourselfs; First of all, if you don't accept yourself the way you look and the way you are, then no one else will. Secondly, don't be so upset about your physical appearance but rather evolve yourself on a personal level, we all grow old and with that we grow uglier (and fatter in some cases, don't ask me how I know). And lastly; Forget about what others think and might say about your appearance, enjoy your life to the full extent, cause despite what some people think, life is not going to repeat itself (on a personal level). It's here and now, not tomorrow or another time and another place. Enjoy yourself guys, and if you enjoy to eat good food, then eat !!! Best wishes and regards; Mr. T
@@mojigreen6461 It pleases me if I can do something for someone who might need a push in the right direction so to speak, so your comment is very much appreciated 😊.
Now you understand, we Asian women are not born to be skinny but are forced to be since we're young. I was 110 pounds at 13 years old and they called me fatty but in fact I was just around 5 kg overweight. Teachers and classmates thought I was a glutton and lazy so they teased you every time you eat and run. Then I did crash diet, lost 5 kg during semester holiday, the whole class was shocked when new term begin ok no more bullying but at the expense of my health I was sick and weak, couldn't join any PE class and scared the hell out of my parents. Learn the hard lesson so I pay more attention on proper diet and exercise. now my weight is 50 kg, normal bmi, you ask me if I wanna be fat again? Well, not necessarily stick thin but definitely don't wanna be fat either.
@fullyrawbutterfly Skinnier is not always prettier. If you think that, it's likely because that's been taught to you, whether you're aware of it or not. The fact that you almost exclusively see skinny women as models or celebrities teaches you that it's good/ prettier to be skinny.
Ikr! Those women looks 12 max and they are all adults. Is very weird how they want that every woman be extremely skinny, cute and child-like. I can understand a certain group be like that and aspire that, find that cool, but one, two, three entire countries? Seems really wrong and disgusting to me too.
Chinese celebrities play a role in encouraging this too. And there’s a saying in Chinese that a girl should not weigh more than 50kg (around 100 lbs in Chinese measurement - not the same as actual lbs). Imagine celebrities posting picture of their scale measurement and calling themselves fat at 50kg.
It's like this in South Korea too. That's why every kpop idol says they only weigh 90 -100 Ibs/40-45kg. When I lived in Korea, every woman I knew was on a diet even when they were at a healthy weight. Many of my co-workers would say they live off of only an apple and a sweet potato a day. Fatphobia was rampant and EDs were encouraged.
Great video it’s too many things in this topic to discuss but beauty standards for women are just so over the top no matter where u go I lived both in the Latin community where I’m from the beauty standard is slim thick but when I lived the USA the standards where to b as thin as possible no butt no hips now the beauty standard in the USA is to b as curvy as possible but only in the right places the point is you can’t win for losing so as she said just love yourself as you are and in someone’s eyes you are the beauty standard but we spend so much time trying to be someone else isn’t it ironic that somebody somewhere looks at you and says wow I wish I had her body her skin her hair her eyes while your wishing u looked like someone else it’s ok to admire other ppls beauty but don’t be so hard on yourselves ladies it took me a long time to realize this too and I’m the happier now the truth is even in countries where u don’t fit the beauty ideal there’s someone who’s not into that specific ideal be your own beauty standard shout out to the ladies in the video for sharing their stories
When i was young, i told a nurse i thought i had an eating disorder (i had Binge Eating Disorder, not something known to the general public in 2005). She looked at me, laughed, and said "honey, you're skinny. Theres no way you have a problem with eating". I am glad people have come to see the variety of ways in which eating disorders can present. I'll never forget that "professional"'s lack of knowledge. It still maddens me when i remember it. 😑
I was in this situation I lost 50 pounds in seven to eight months and I almost died in my sleep It was really scary I hope everything finds the courage to get help who is suffering from an eating disorder It’s a constant battle and I choose to live every single day Thank you for spreading awareness on this topic
Hoping the best for you ❤️ Life is very precious. Our own health values more than people who judge how we look, they'll keep judging us anyway, so why not look after our own health rather than pleasing those who will never be pleased?
This is so interesting I always thought Asian women were just lucky to be naturally skinny I never realised that there was so much pressure and expectation for them to be that way. I hope the body positivity movement starts to gain traction in China and elsewhere because obsessing over your weight, restricting food, feeling like you are not good enough is a painful state of mind. Body positivity has helped me to start overcoming my own eating disorder that I’ve suffered from for thirty years. I’ve only very recently been able to start learning to love and accept my body and feed and nourish it instead of punishing myself constantly and that’s because of body positivity messaging. Edit to original message: Since I left this comment I’ve watched a lot of “body positivity” content to where I think I need to stress that when I said “body positivity” I’m more talking about trying to stop hating your body when you’re actually a perfectly healthy weight because you are not a model 0 and trying to stop being dysmorphic in how you view yourself I.e. seeing yourself as fat when you are not but it’s how your mind has been conditioned. I’m not in the least talking about very overweight or obese people suggesting that it wouldn’t be healthier for them to lose weight, that dieting itself is “fat phobia”, that people who are not attracted to obese people are bigots and fat phobic, or that very overweight people can continue to gain weight and it’s all good etc etc. I think that is the “health at any size” and “ fat phobia” ideology. I’m just talking about trying to have a healthier mindset after years of chasing extreme thinness and that some of the ideas that have changed in society have helped me to change this in myself. I used the wrong phraseology unintentionally.
No human is naturally skinny. We all evolved to have an appetite that will make us eat slightly more than we need, in order to store fat that would help us survive a famine. The problem is that doesn't serve us well in affluent parts of the modern world where folks have plenty of food. All that said, it's true that far east Asians have a smaller bone structure than westerners, particularly those of us from a North Germanic background. For proof, look at the difference in sizes of women's cloths in Holland & Germany vs South Korea or China
Asians aren't really naturally skinny, it's really because of poverty and extreme diets and environments in different countries. + beauty thin standards make it wrap together. Although yes, because most asian people are thin it's very hard to not be self conscious. I came from a not so rich country in Asia who is known to diverse and dive directly and adapt into this kind of beauty standards from other Asian countries so I can say first hand it's bs. Even own country beauty standards are overshadowed by the newly one. What's considered chubby in all other countries in Asia means fat here. It's outrageous. Like there can't be any place to be healthy it's toxic-
I lived in Taiwanfor a year and it was very interesting to see how the body shape of women was influenced by where they lived. In Taipei, the capital, most women were super skinny and I often heard how stressful it is to live there because you need to maintain a certain appearance. The further south and east you got things got more relaxed and you saw a much bigger variety in body shape.
Well...alot of them are thin and some of them are skinny without it being intentional. But it's because the type of food that they eat..(it's much healthier than what Americans eat) and because they move alot. (Here I'm not talking about those who are unhealthy skinny out or pressure or liking themselves that way. I'm talking about the others who aren't. Well,you're right alot of asians and countries like Scandinavia are at a healthy weight. And or are skinny but not unhealthy skinny...and that's because of their diets and how active they are. Or like the Dutch. They're at a healthy weight because they move alot more and eat in moderate amounts. Unlike the US or the UK. So it's not a magical genetic factor as you're imagining. Also diet alone being healthy and in moderate portions is enough to keep you healthy and thin. It's why they seem magically thin to you. If they ate like Americans believe me they're going to be overweight.
Thank you for this lovely video. I'm a white woman and I live in Texas. I've put on quite a bit of weight the past few years and am struggling to lose it and tone up. I wanted to say, that I started started shopping at the online Chinese market in 2015 and I loved the clothing. However, I wanted to sell women's lingerie and undergarments and I had several conversations by chat, about the fact that even your largest clothes were not to be worn by plus sized females in America or other places where women can get quite large. Eventually, I left the idea of the plus sized lingerie and undergarments and started selling jewelry. When I was young, I was very small and could always fit into the tiny clothes, but now I cannot. I remember thinking how tiny the women of your culture are. I did not realize that your Country was also experiencing this now. With all of the fast food and isolation we have faced, it's no wonder. I'm happy that you ladies are working so hard to put the word out about eating disorders and mental illness. I wish you a long and happy future and thank you for caring!
Even though I'm asian I feel great that I never had to go through this . In India our elders will scold us if we don't eat well, being underweight is beautiful is not at all a thing here . I never realised our neighbouring countries have such a thing . God I'm grateful to be an INDIAN, these skinny trends are scary🤯😳😵
Same Bangla British . Only time they would bring weight up is if they were concerned ie obese or the opposite . A bit of fat is no concern to them but they don’t appreciate the gaunt look either. Gaunt look is associated with poverty my mum used to say. And a bit of fat suggests the girl or boy hail from a wealthy family 😂. I think these are indopak beliefs from the villages ;)
As an Asian, elder women telling me all my life to loose weight until the time I was underweight for years made me go through a mental breakdown because I didn't even like being so skinny. I didn't even care how "ugly" I looked to other people, I just lost weight because I thought it was what was expected of me.
@@KrazyKrzysztof it is more dangerous that a supposedly "young" person will actually listen so faithfully to an "old" person. What happen to your self judgement? Any person for that matter (young or old) without their own judgement and opinion, or just try to blame other people for their own bad judgement is dangerous to society and the real problem to the world.
@@cancanjaker1620 you dont sound considerate and open-minded about this things. There's called peer pressure bruh. and some people in some cultures or countries are imprisoned into this wrong mindset of they should be skinny. Just because you are in control of your own self judgement it means that you should look down on others that havent. They are forced to rely on old peoples opinions/ can't help but be affected by it. ex: old mindset relatives who are living with them that ALWAYS reminds them how skinny THEY SHOULD be. they wanna be accepted by their family and society thats why they conform. Dont victim blame just because you can't understand.
@@kezimachi4274 It is not victim blame. And as you pointed out, the problem is that they are not in control and allowing them to indulge in blaming society, blaming peers and blaming elderly is just coddling them. If they never look at the real issue, they are just going to be avoiding it for their whole lives. And after spending enough time doing so, they self-justify themselves.
The emphasis on being skinny and beautiful is really extreme in China. The English vs Chinese social media/Internet space really highlight this difference. I got a glimpse of this when browsing through both English forums vs. Chinese forums. For example, people on English forums/blogs (international fans) discussing a Chinese actress are full of praises for her beauty/acting skills, while people on Chinese forums/blogs can be very critical of the figure of the same actress, picking apart every single flaw. For course, this is just an example. I am sure there are still Chinese fans who are very supportive, but this is a general impression I have on English vs. Chinese sides of the Internet.
@@bredbred1630 the scenario I listed above was just an example. However, there is one actress that really stood out to me as being treated quite differently by international vs Chinese fans. She’s Shen Yue (FL in dramas like A Love So Beautiful and Meteor Garden). International fans seem to like her, but some Chinese netizens can be quite brutal, saying that she is not skinny enough, too short, too dark-skinned. They also say her looks are ordinary (路人脸）, her head is too big etc etc. It can be quite shocking, the way these netizens analyse and criticise every single flaw. Disclaimer: I’m not saying ALL Chinese netizens are like that.
I've often been shocked by how toxic East Asian internet forums are compared to everywhere else. Especially towards celebrities. I think it lines up with the serious bullying problems that also exist in those countries. Lots of younger people feel repressed and use the internet to lash out against others to feel better about themselves. I feel bad for the level-headed netizens that have to deal with that loud minority.
@@skittleyrealm2795 i had no idea that it was happening since meteor garden is so popular. it's not surprising in a way. i'm going to assume that you're also chinese like me but due to the heavy critizing of the older generations who shame others harshly, this passes on a toxic mindset for the next generations. this is speaking from personal experience, as family "friends" often comment on how your appearance so it's no wonder people are so obsessed with looking beautiful. it's considered normal to do so as well. it's just this never ending loop of either people projecting or not even knowing how painful their comments are because they're so used to these high beauty standards. everyone's just mimicing their elders, looking down at the smallest things and criticizing the shit out of it
It's so sad that just the word 'fat' can have such a negative impact, and I really felt it as a European working in China. I could never and would never want to fit the Chinese beauty standards - I'm proud of my curves! The primary school kids I taught would openly call me fat though, or poke my belly, and seemed to think it was perfectly okay to treat an adult like that. Other foreign co-workers had very similar stories. I always tried to teach the kids about respect but when the 'uncles' and 'aunties' are setting bad examples by approaching perfectly healthy strangers in the street with such awful comments about losing weight, then it's no wonder the younger generations think it's okay to body shame too. :(
Meanwhile in India, some old people feel like being fat is a symbol of prosperity 😂 Because we were always skinny due to famines and poverty created by the colonialists..... Except the youth thinks the opposite ofc now....
no I don't believe the Indian youth is promoting skinny bodies as a beauty standard. in fact, more and more youth are understanding the importance of fitness and developing muscle from a young age nowadays. being muscular and fit is not the same ass being brittle boned and skinny.
@@aayushchahal2730 yea, indian celebs/influencers looks way more healthy than celebs in east asian country. And indian food are very nutritious i want to try cooking the paneer with pea soup (forgot its name)
It was the same with China over 2500 years ago during the Tang Empire. At that time, being fat was considered a beauty standard because they thought that fat woman could give birth easier than skinny ones.
As an Indian, I can understand some of the comments saying this culture is seeping into India but I'm glad that for the most part, our elders advice us to eat or feed when we feel like we need to be thinner. And people are generally more accepting of figures. As someone who would probably look fat in East Asia, I'm glad here I'm considered the ideal body sizing just based on being healthy. Let's Love whatever we look like!
I think its all about maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle rather than how a person look, I am a male japanese Australian man and have always been skinny all my life and I traveled to India a lot during my younger days and every Indian people that I met always commented on how skinny I am and I should eat more ha ha ha . I think the japanese diet are very well balanced and its very hard for an average Japanese to gain excessive weight if they maintain a healthy japanese diet, my kids is borned and raised in Australia and expose to a western diet and they started to gain a lot of weight and became obese and I started to worry and make plan to change their diet to a more balanced japanese diet and they start to loose weight and maintain a healthy acceptable asian weight. in Japan there is a saying being lean is especially when you are older is a blessings cause most health problems of this modern world like heart attack, stroke, diabetes are all related to a unhealthy diet. being healthy is more important than how a person looks and we should stop body shame anyone.
Your South Asian family sounds incredibly wholesome. Sadly, not all of us had that privilege, because I literally went a loved one’s home and got eviscerated in front of guests for 15 minutes straight. Then they wondered why I was barely eating any of the food. Desi aunties and uncles are VICIOUS 😂😂😂 I wish more families could be as accepting as your elders 🥺🥺🥺
@@meerxr I mean at least they were telling you to eat. I think most south Asians want their kids to be at a healthy weight and eat healthy, and not starve themselves. In South Asia for the most part being curvy is still considered beautiful compared to being stick thin however their idea of curvy can be toxic too but at least no one told us to not eat as much
@@kanamenoname210 beauty standards somehow seek to make everyone feel insecure about themselves. How else could you sell someone something to “ward off their insecurities”? Example: “Fair and Lovely” for colourism. Teatox for weight. So much more.
@@meerxr I mean yeah beauty standards are all about that. That wasn't the point of the comment though. We were rarely if ever told to not eat in South Asia, at least for the most part. That's not saying there aren't other toxic practices but body image issues vs colorism are two very different things and two very different topics. Also teatox is something the Kardashians have promoted in the past, for much of other Indian who were at a healthy weight it was usually do yoga, eat fruits, portion control etc. It was never to just stop eating for 24 hours like many east Asian diet trends are promoting
my sister destroyed her body with her eating disorder growing up, she ruined her kidneys and my family fell apart when all this happened, we all focused on helping her get better because she was killing herself. i don’t understand how a whole country could be so lost in disordered eating to not even see the way they’re all destroying their lives and bodies
I’m Hispanic and An Asian guy who was trying to date me mentioned something about weight while we were eating (I ordered food, he ordered chips and salsa) he spoke about how he doesn’t like eating a lot and how he doesn’t like having fat on him as I sat there eating a huge meal 😂 I kinda felt that he was directing things at me but then I had to tell him that in my culture, it’s not good to be skinny and that if I get skinny it’s not attractive. He was shocked lol I said “yeah they call skinny girls ‘seca ‘ which means dry. Lol I said “if I were skinny I wouldn’t have my curves” lol and he said “oh.. yeah I like your curves” showed him a new world 😉
My respect to Cindy and all other members of the girl group named "SunShine", they really delivered a message to the Chinese public and criticized the standard definition of "beauty".
I read articles about them years ago when they first surfaced. I've never heard their music but I remember Cindy's face. She's got attitude and she's very pretty both when she was slightly chubby and now when she's thin.
How about we just stop being obsessed with beauty of women and girls at all. So many male artists look ugly af but worshipped over their talents and no one will tell them “you’re just beautiful the way you are”. Women can be not beautiful and that shouldn’t even matter because women are human with qualities other than beauty.
I had experienced an eating disorder when I was around 10 -14 years old. I'm not sure until now if it ever goes under the word on 'disorder' itself. But I was secretly not eating my lunch at school and I barely ate a proper breakfast and dinner, using a saucer to measure the amount of rice and side dishes I could fit in to eat. There were several 'snack time' at school where even though at first my body was craving for the routine of eating something. I simply took that as a good sign to starve myself. Sometimes when the hunger was unbearable, I simple bought bread and a hot beverage or sugary snacks to subside the growling of my stomach. It went on for months until rashes started showing up on my skin, little red dots where I found out to be a mild case of yeast infection. Yes, my body immune system was at the weak point where even a yeast infection could affect me. My body also became dependent on sugar because I was not eating on a balanced diet and I was often tired and sluggish if I were not to eat one. But, I got what I wanted, I was really thin around 33 kg for my height. My BMI says underweight but my naivety screams great! I don't remember merely one particular reason as to why I did it. There were several, I think. My peers were doing it, some had already shed their 'baby fat', insecurity and hormonal teens mocked 'jiggly girls', the things I saw on social media etc. etc. Social media did brought a heavier weight for that determination to be thin. It was around the popularity of the Hallyu wave in k-pop. Now, I wasn't an extreme fan of k-pop even before, I wasn't a fanatic to even one idol. But their popularity and 'image' of thin girls were admired and followed which indirectly caused me to be insecure of my 'fats'. I can't tell you how haunted I was of my belly fat whenever we did PE and it 'jiggles' somewhat. It's just not a healthy outlook overall. My take on this video is that I closely relate to the chinese trend of being thin, as I call it, "BONE THIN" or the 'tim burton thin' because it's the extreme kind that is not only unhealthy but horrifying to look at as well. This mentality or preference is scary. Especially for the cause of 'mass validation'. It will scar you. And for what means? I can't end this (long) comment with a positive note. Just that this problem affects all of us, like a mentality plague that is hard to shake off. Women will still fall under this trap, just as how 'fat activism' goes on the west. Recognizing it is just the start of this 'far on the horizon' cure.
@@flora7447 Yep, they really skew what it means to be slim and looking good. I'm appalled that average looking young women feel the need to lose a miniscule number of kilograms like 3kg... I have to lose 30kg and even then I still have belly fat (looking average by western standards). Korean celebrities look awesome though, it's just their society that is whacked about insane beauty standards.
So strange that people mock "baby fat". I think feminine fat deposits, especially in cheeks, is what makes a woman attractive. I'm totally not into V-shaped faces with flat cheeks... I have lost 25kg and then gained 15kg but now I started to think that even if I achieve "the ideal body", I'm still going to date exactly the same type of women that didn't mind if I'm big, so I better just stay fat 😂😂
I grew up in the west, very interested in different cultures. I must say Ive been shocked with the extreme level of thinness that's considered normal in east Asia. Seeing girls who would qualify as close to Ed thin being lifted up as examples. I do enjoy wearing kids tee-shirts as wee crop tops, but I'm a size 10ish on the bottom, and I just like the cute patterns etc on the kids stuff. Brandy Melville is an insane brand, the owner is racist, and that's beyond the obvious problem that he's essentially created the real world "1 3 5" from mean girls, except it's more like "1". Those weibo "challenges" echo the desires expressed on a pro-ana message board. I'm shocked with how different the sentiment is between parts of the world. I'm Polynesian so I grew up being called skinny my whole life, it's crazy how each culture has their own ideas...but when these ideals become dangerous, it's definitely time to reevaluate
How old are you now? Isn't a positive note that you have recovered from your eating disorder? Or are you not better yet? Also I would like to add that a lot of bots/men also suffer from these problems but are less likely to get noticed, particularly in teens because people use the excuse of they are just growing.
I’m japanese but moved to usa as a kid then moved back as a late teen. I had been obese as a child (300lbs - 137kg) then lost weight before going back to japan and was about 180lbs / 82kg. I developed anorexia then bulimia and got down (the last i checked so maybe lower) to 98lbs / 44.5kg. I’m 5’5” (168cm). Everyone said I was so skinny and pale and his jealous they were of me. Only my close friends were worried with how pale i had gotten and how much they could see my veins. Where everyone was so jealous, only a few people genuinely worried about me. I started getting better by myself (because hospitals were not interested in helping mental health patients) and weight and have a fairly healthy relationship with good, but it’s still so hard to not go back to that lifestyle of wanting to be skinny. It was like my personality. My entire life revolved around it. It seems almost empty without it, but i know i am healthier now than i was.
I didn't have an eating disorder but rapidly lost weight due to bullying at work. I lost 40 lbs (18 kg) in two months. My body looked like a skeleton. I was shocked when people suddenly told me I was beautiful. Yes, my new, small clothes looked great on me. But I was ill. My doctor sent me for cancer tests at the hospital. Finally, he diagnosed anxiety and depression from my work situation. I left that work place and it took three years, but I'm well now. Identify your stress--why you stop eating--and deal with it, if you can. Seek medical help, too. You deserve to be healthy. One more thing: As I began gaining weight to a normal, healthy body, I suddenly wondered: Wait, when (at what weight) did I pass the "perfect" weight? I must have passed it at some point. But I realized, women are never allowed to feel we are "perfect".
I live in Hong Kong now for work, and I get self conscious every single day. I was around 100lb (I'm 5'0") when I first started working, but I frequently get stressed from work and would stress eat. This would continue until I stress-ate myself to 118lb within one year and I felt so depressed. One day, an old coworker who knew me when I first started working at my company (when I was 100lb) saw me at the office when I was at 118lb. The first thing he commented was not "long time no see" or "how are you". It was "whoa, you got super fat. You literally look like a ball". I was appalled. How could someone say that blatantly to my face.
13:56 her idea and definition of acceptance is perfect. You don't need to see yourself as perfect to love yourself. Just embrace your strengths, acknowledge your weaknesses and either strive to improve these weaknesses (if it's possible and that is what makes you happy) or just learn to move past things that you simply cannot change.
While I didn't have a severe eating disorder it was enough to the point till I didn't recognize it until a few minutes ago. During covid, More like when it first started. I was skinny you know ideal body type. I took dance classes and also did gymnastics etc. It kept me in shape and I never really cared to work out and eat healthily. So now I'm in the middle of covid eating junk food and eating out almost every week. After a while, I notice I'm gaining weight. Every single day since I noticed even now, I squeezed and poked at my fat just thinking about how embarrassing it is. I kept eating so much I wouldn't get hungry till dinner time then the next morning I would be starving then overeat again. This summer I have been making the effort to lose weight. For a few months, I kept looping around, losing and regaining the weight. I had to learn discipline. My highest weight is 153 pounds and now I'm at 144.8 on an empty stomach. It isn't easy but I'm happy with my results so far, it does take time so to the other people out there reading my comment and also trying to lose weight, don't rush it. I used to do extreme workouts and other stuff to lose weight but it didn't work. I try my best to eat properly so I won't get super hungry later than overeat. I found a website similar to this: www.medicinenet.com/8_ways_to_think_like_a_thin_person/article.htm It does help and small tip: Green tea helps break down food.
I am in US. I will never forget that Chinese boy laughed at me in front of everyone, “Look how big and fat you are, look at how slim she is (another girl).” It really destroyed a 13 year old girl. I was very normal in terms of weight at that age. Well many people thought it’s stupid to care about their criticism, but a young girl… just… Sign. Idk, just that one sentence really altered my life as a teenager.
I definitely noticed that being very thin is 'in' right now for Gen Z everywhere not just in Asia and I am scared for them 😢. I am a younger millennial and I remember that awful time in the mid-2000s where all woman in the magazines were extremely thin like Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, and Lindsey Lohan. I was an extremely impressionable 14 year old and I became obsessed with having a thigh gap. I dieted hard core, barely ate, everyone was saying I lost so much weight and I even reached my target weight.. but sadly no thigh gap. So, I kept going until one day I realized what I was doing was very dangerous and I managed to stop. I was lucky because I already knew about eating disorders and body dysmorphia so I knew I was going down a dangerous path. ED are no joke... some people literally take decades to recover. ☹️My weight has flunctated since then but mostly due to just living life. I no longer believe in dieting. I only eat in a way that I know I can sustain for the rest of my life. That means no counting calories, no restricting food groups, no skipping meals. The best thing that always works for me is to cook my own food as much as possible, eat lots of veggies and fruits, not eating unhealthy snacks regularly (I don't buy them to consume everyday but I will have them at parties or the movies etc) and drink a lot of water. This is a diet that I can easily follow for the rest of my life and it's not really restrictive. Anyways, let's all learn how to be kinder to our bodies. ❤️🙏🏾
Although, I recovered and I am fine now, I still absolutely despise when people comment on my weight whether in a good or bad way. I lost weight a few years ago due to being a poor student, stressed, and very busy. When people asked me what was my secret I simply said "being poor and having to ration my food". It made people uncomfortable but that's why they should mind their own business. 🙃 As a general rule of thumb, I never ever comment on someone's weight even if there is a noticeable change because you simply never know under what circumstances these changes happened.
Thank you for sharing your story! Im happy for you because you quickly recovered from the problems and with this you have not just encouraged me to look out for my health and not for whats trending to look like, but so many others as well!
I understand what youre saying and I understand your experience personally, however we need to acknowledge that some of this was our own mind. Just having someone on the cover of a magazine isnt the issue. If all it took was seeing naturally thin people like paris hilton to do all that then something else was an issue way before. whether is was outside pressure from childhood, not supportive enough emotionally parents, bullying etc. But those people just thin and existing is not responsible for how YOU acted. The culture of needing to not be a natural size is of course an issue but I hate when people use the oh well I saw girls like Paris and Lindsey etc. and wanted to be like them so I did this. No, they are naturally that size and still are. Some people are that lucky. But them existing or being famous isnt the issue. It was the education part and lack of personal support. I am sure if you actually analyze things in your life you will find way more instances of why you struggled. My personal issues with ED looking back was stemmed from self confidence issues in general starting at a young age, as well as being praised as a child for being so tiny. Also things like watching our mothers or sisters also struggle with weight and dieting growing up, or lack of nutritional education and either full access to whatever we wanted to eat 24/7 or the opposite of extremely strict diets by parents can cause issues. A picture of a model isnt what psychologically what affected you. It is deeper and forms mostly in childhood by accumulating factors.
@@user-ci4qq1om4o Do you not realize … the skinny body beauty standard is enforced through society through media, expectation and reward. If companies only glorify and promote skinny women, and movies/tv shows only value skinny women, what do you think that does to underage people who see that. What do you think happens when those kids grow up and inflict that onto their children. It’s a cycle that stems from all of society, not just the beauty industry. So no, it’s the model herself but the entire industry + society who built that standard.
@@CrystalRose1111 Why wouldn't beautiful girls be rewarded? If youre not that girl then youre not that girl it's a you problem if you decided to go bulimic because a girl got attention for being pretty.
I currently live in China and it's been almost 10 years. Back in my country, my body is definitely not a beauty standard (I'm 178cm/55kg), I've always been laughed at and I heard all the mean comparisons, therefore I developed a body dysmorphia. I tried to gain weight but couldn't because it's hereditary. When I came to China, I always get praise because of my body, and everyone tells me they wish they had my body, and I couldn't see that because I feel I'm underweight and I struggle with low self-esteem. But the only message I send to my Chinese friends: your body is so beautiful, it keeps you alive, so don't listen to what others say because it will affect you in the long run.
@@ambercui8030 It is hereditary because even though she intakes 3000 calories her body burns 3000 calories a day. Hence no weight is gained. The difference with you is you eat 3,000 calories and only burn a few hundred. That's the difference between having a fast metabolism and a slow one.
I find that even Asian men in the entertainment industry like actors are soo thin. Really very different from western actors. Wang Yibo literally said he likes to be thin because it's "more photogenic".
as a person who has ed, & now in a "normal" cycle, eating it's the only thing that i can control into my life. people should also know & be aware that eating disorders are very extensive and it's just not about being thin.
Right... I feel like the more unequal and grossly wealthy a country's elite becomes, the more it feels like people must control everything in their life that they can to have any hope of keeping up socially. This probably exacerbate eating disorders, as well as as sexism which values women only for their looks and labor in a caregiving role.
@@Iquey i think people like me, i know & i'm heavily aware because i have one even if i am undiagnosed, is also influenced by social media. the pressure to look good being really slim or even having a rock solid abs with no signs of fat in someone's body, it will really affect the way you see yourself. but you're probably right too it connects to the society / the "elite" members of a country and also sexism. also i think it correlates to the economy of a country when the pandemic didn't happen i wasn't even nitpicking or criticizing myself or what i eat, it definitely triggered it.
@Alex Korova nah, I think ED is a mental illness, I still have underlying issues. it just doesn't go away easily. whether i like it or not, but the only solution to it is if I go & seek help or help myself also I agree about what you've said that ED is look upon on health issues, someone like me who had experienced immensely sharp pain on my heart (like a dagger being stabbed) it's not pretty I was scared for my health ofc bc I know what I'm doing is not worth the risk I wanted to end myself *bc I was depressed* but I'm not suicidal enough, and I don't want to die slowly I wanted to continue on surviving. what I'm doing w my mental health & my body was really I wake up call. people who assumed ED is targeted for teenage girls well not Im even a teenager anymore & yet I've experienced this
Eating disorders absolutely are addictions. They might start as a diet or an exercise regimen, but it soon becomes an addiction, a way to have something to think abt that makes you feel like you're being "good" and distracts you from wverything else in your life that feels overwhelming, upsetting, etc
this is so try but thank God it never happened to me, i remember i wanted to loose what so badly because i wanted to model and i would some days eat so little. i still want to loose weight but idrc anymore
Absolutely. Which is why its a serious mental disorder and while its one of the leading causes of dea_hs amongst teenage girls its sadly still not taken serious enough by many people. In german its quite literally called „skinny-addiction“ (magersucht).
this comment hits home. i never got to a point of hospitalization but my period was always irregular/would skip for many many months at a time because I would use restrictive eating as a way to cope with how overwhelming and depressing life was. it made me feel like i had achieved something if i didnt eat for a whole day or three days and it was never soley about looking good (though the thought creeps up a lot). Even if i didn't have any energy to do anything I would tell myself "at least I didn't eat today so good job!" or "no calories burned but also no calories gained is good" and it was a sick cycle. another important thing was who I surrounded myself with. my girlfriend at the time was italian and very obsessed with losing weight and id hear everyday how much she hated her body or she weighed 2kg lighter than yesterday so shes happier and besides making me uncomfortable it also made my own negative eating habits worse. it wasnt until we broke up and i met someone new who loved cooking and eating and going for walks that i realized starving yourself doesnt make you a more successful or better person, or a more beautiful one.
If I have three meals a day then the next I will have that feeling of hunger when I'm hungry. But there are days when I don't eat anything and as days goes by I stop feeling hungry, so I always forget to eat.
It's all over Asia, I am not Chinese, I left Asia, but I am still suffering from this body image issue. I did not see my mother for almost 3 years the first thing she mentioned when she saw me was my weight, and she didn't even think that's a problem. A lot of asian women talk about diet like it's normal when in reality their so-called diet is full on eating disorder, but I shit you not, they think it's GREAT, they think it shows great discipline and determination, they admire that, and if you eat just normally, you are frown upon.
Growing up in Florida I was made fun of for my pale skin. People often told me I should “go to the beach Casper” or “you should try tanning beds.” - I didn’t even know I was pale before high school. It never crossed my mind to wonder about my skin color. Then I moved to Japan at 25 and girls asked me how I got my skin so white. 😮 I had to laugh. I have a somewhat larger, (US size 10) frame and larger feet (10US) and 34D bra and I could never find shoes or bras in Japan that fit me unless I squeezed painfully into them. I’m kinda curvy and i’ll likely never be skinny or tan, but that’s ok. I’ll be the curvy-ish pale girl wearing Asian fashion. Maybe i’m easier to spot this way. 😛 🎉Ps. I’m about to be 40 and I love my pale skin so much now because it makes me stand out in America. 😉
-Being skinny in China(Asia) is beauty standard(Leads to starving oneself and eating disorders) -Being slim thick is the beauty standard in the western world. (Leads to BBL, and other surgeries)
I have found myself surrounded by BBLs. I keep telling women I know who have been saving up how dangerous they are. They’re just as dangerous as getting open heart surgery.
so true.. there are so many BBLs, boob jobs, and even lower rib extraction (to make an hour glass figure). its really sad. everyone needs to stop commenting on peoples body types. if its not a compliment, keep it to yourself.
I am so proud of all these women here! Accepting yourself in a society that tells you, that you are never enough is a milestone and shows how strong they are. I'm so happy for them!
Im SE asian and struggling with beauty standard in asia too. Im not fair-skinned, so the only thing i can do is to lose weight. I went from 58kg to 42kg in just a few months during quarantine. Everyone was surprised when they see me for the first time and thought i was sick. Im worried that i might start developing some sort of ED. Thank you for reminding me that being skinny isnt everything.
I remember watching Cindy and her group during their short time on Produce 101, makes me feel so sad hearing that she was going through so much during that time. They were a really talented group and I wanted them to stay.
The last statement about being beautiful is being comfortable with yourself hits me hard. From elementary school I always feel fat and develop some kind of diet, even tho I was still 8 yo. At junior high school I keep feeling that I'm the fattest and always looking at my body on the mirror, pinching my flabby parts and imagining that it will be gone. At high school it was the same, I feel so fat. Then now, in last year of college, I look back my photos from all of those years. I was skinny, skinnier enough comparing to my current state. Then I remember that a few people told me that I had athletic body, yet I didn't believe it. And now I'm just slapped with how the reality works. I wasn't fat, I just didn't accept myself at all, and that made me feel dissatisfied all the time no matter how much I eat or how much I workout. Now, I'm being chubbier yet I feel contempt, as long as I'm physically active and healthy. It's really rooting from yourself mentally before doing something physically, to acknowledge your body positively.
To be honest, it's becoming a struggle for me as well. I'm not yet on that path, but I want to wear clothes and usually they look better on slimmer bodies. I'm practical and active enough that I know it won't benefit me ( and I love eating lol). Also, I want to pursue Muay Thai but reluctant bc I might become short and bulky and that really doesn't look good. In the end, it's best to be healthy that you're functional rather than look good in clothes but have difficulty doing yhings
The truth is is you are female and work out a lot, you will name likely become bulky. Even men don't become bulky unless they eat more protein to compensate for the muscle training and repair those muscles. The muscles cannot come from nothing.
We have: genetics and metabolism influencing us. Besides, if we all would look the same it would be weird 🙈🙈🤣🤣 I am from part Tatar and part Bulgarian families.. short, thin waist big b*t style. But you know what? My short legs take me on mountains faster than you might think 🙈🙃😍🤩 I am 42 and from that point where I wanted to look thin and hot most my life, let me tell you: there are always parteners attracted of you just like you are and where you see faults in yourself, friends and parteners will see beauty. Being healthy and happy is the key. We are on Earth to be happy, not to give a rat's ass abt what others might think. Just live your life and shine! Stay healthy and enjoy the ride! 😍😍🤗🤗 Free your mind, girl! Life is beautiful!
Duuuude you should totally do Muay Thai if you want to do it! I used to be really scared of gaining muscle too, thinking I’d be short and bulky as well… but having muscle burns more fat, so I’m actually way more toned now than before and even though I weigh more I look much healthier, stronger, and have less body fat than before. Don’t let that be a deterrent for you! The other thing that shifted my mindset a bit was finding the areas of social media “influencers” that were more practical comparisons to myself - e.g. gymshark community etc…. I’ll never be tall and skinny like a model because my body type is short and athletic. But I CAN look at Instagram feeds of fitness influencers and whatnot and not feel so bad about myself after all. 😊
I’m learning that my idea of what body types look good in clothes is pretty much directed by social media. I have struggled with body dysmorphia since I was 13, and am 25 now. When I see someone on the streets or at my work who has a thicker figure who is wearing tight fitting clothing, mini skirts or crop tops, my old mindset would say they don’t look good, why would they wear that? And Im trying to retrain my brain that they do look beautiful. They really do. And so do I and so would you if you wore the clothes you like. I commend the younger gen that wears whatever the fuck they want! One thing that has been helping me lately is watching people on TH-cam show paparazzi pics of influencers. It’s all posed, airbrushed, and edited. Supermodels have cellulite. Tik tokers have pot belly’s. Once most women reach 20 they gain weight, there’s a whole world of real women out there and that’s what we need to be appreciating. Not a fake image in our head constructed from scrolling through edited women.
A quick point about the clothes for anyone who feels unattractive in off the rack modern clothing - there's a good chance it's not your weight that's causing the clothes to look bad. The reason clothes only look good on specific body types has a lot to do with cheap unforgiving fabrics, and clothing manufacturers wanting to use standard block sizes covering widest range of human bodies, which is actually not a very wide range at all. Humans come in a huge variety of shapes and proportions and even your posture can affect how one area of a garment fits compared to the rest. I think a lot of people are so focused on weight they don't always fully appreciate that even for slim people if the waist/bust/shoulders is hitting you in the wrong place the clothes will hang weird, wrinkle bulge look bad etc in an unflattering way that often casual dressers (who have already been conditioned to believe their body fat is a flaw) will just put down to their weight. Look at maternity wear for example; if you were someone with a pregnant belly shopping in the regular section you'd probably look quite wrong even in the largest sizes, not because you're too fat but because the proportions have been designed for a different body to yours As a short person with longer than average, slightly asymmetric torso I can tell you that losing weight was of small benefit to my ability to dress elegantly compared to learning to make and alter garments myself. I'm glad there are a growing number of plus size models/influencers proving that fat bodies are just as gorgeous when wearing clothing actually designed for them, but sadly for the average person it is very difficult to find clothing like this for an affordable price I don't know if that makes you feel any better if your goal is still to look good in those clothes...but it helped me to learn this and I hope it will help someone else stop beating themselves up so much I say keep eating what you love! It's our clothes' job to fit us, not the other way around! And definitely do the muay thai ... whatever that is. Having bigger muscles never makes anyone look worse!
I love the energy of the dance teacher lady, you can really feel it how much she loves what she does and that kinda energy is so invigorating and inspiring! She makes me wanna dance too
This is all about the environment, whenever I'm with my family in Colombia I feel beautiful with my curvy body, whenever I'm back in England, I feel fat and ugly and cover-up as many body parts as possible. In Colombia I'm happy to wear shorts and short-sleeved shirts, in England I hate my legs and arms the most. It sucks, but realising that it's not my issue but society's issue helps me just to focus on my health and a good diet and be happy with the results as long as I'm at a healthy weight/BMI.
Similar story here. In my native country, I am considered fat. The archetypal French beauty is rather androgynous, skinny, flat chested, long legs, thigh gap, no belly. There is so much pressure on women in the "country of fashion" as they say there. A lot of narcissism in that idea. Ideal size is an xs/s size and Im an L, after having naturally been an xs/s for years. Where I live, I am. considered normal. The thing is when I was thin, I received so many critics as well in my native country. It is paradoxal.
@@TheRhetoricRoom Weight in France is honestly a nightmare. Everyone is so thin and it just creates self perpetuating cycle. A therapist that a member of my family was seeing said that they had an astronomical amount of anorexic/people with eating disorders from the school I was going to. And two people I'm close to that go there are anorexic. It's absolutely dreadful, children should not have to deal with deadly beauty standards, in fact, no one should.
@@captin-ds6xj It is a nightmare. A lot of girls and women learn how to make themselves vomit and take laxatives. When I see videos and read articles about "how French women stay skinny?" or "what is the French women's secret?", the given solutions and tips are mostly bull. I was born there, grew up there and spend the majort part of my life there and I know that the real secrets are what I just wrote about + not eating or eating kids portions. Style is also a thing. People, especially in small to middle sized towns, dress the same inside of their social class groups. It is weird. If you are different, people stare at you or even make loud mocking comments. They all dress similarly. Clothes are cut in a way that if you have a bigger bust and hips, it doesn't fit or fits weirdly. All sorts of diets circulate among women. My mom made them all and was also making herself vomit. For celebs, it is the same pressure. Magazines are so mean towards women's bodies. The press is awful. Yet they will show you a frail celeb whose ribs are unnaturally showing and write how radiant they look. Because France is also, among other countries , a country that celebratrs gastronomy, you are surrounded by food 24/7 and encouraged to eat it while being encouraged to look like a woman/child and stay skinny.
I personally love to train my muscles and I'm naturally on the curvier side... I always felt like I wasn't good enough for the Asian countries. Always felt really fat. But when I moved to Canada.. the attention I received was surprising to say the least. It's not about you, just about the stupid beauty standards of different places. On the other side of things, I've seen so many skinny girls being made fun of on western social media, things like they have no butt and stuff. We girls just can't catch a break sheesh. Just learn to love yourself and as long as you're healthy, you are good 👍🏻
Im from Russia and suffering from the disorder. From childhood i was shamed by People and now I even can't watch myself in the mirror. It's sad that People Who ashamed me Will never apologize or understand that I was hurt a lot and end with depression and suicide stuff. Glad, that other Girls starts to share their unperfect stories - I feel better to watch or hear it. I wish to future be kind and free from stereotypes. P.S actually, when was a moment that People call Girls band ugly - I was in shock. Girls was so cute and so cool and stay being that!
It's nice to see they've recovered. I lose my appetite from stress and know how it can make you fatigued; I can't imagine from this. Glad to see them doing well.
In school i was always considered as fat girl.. TBH yes i weighed more than others but my BMI was completely normal(nearly 23).. I was taller than others but little chubby.. Students used to tease me calling names like bulldozer, bull etc🙂. My sister was the one who said you are completely normal and healthy.. After getting into college i somehow lost my all weight, to the point i was literally skin and bones.. i never went to gym and went to diet in my whole life but it was because of stress and studies.. when i met my school mates they said you looked much more better in school.. like there was no end.. but at that point I realised even you loose your weight you can't satisfy anyone.. I knew my weight is not at all unhealthy but still i do have insecurities about my body.. but slowly i am starting to feel more confident and doing some experiments with my fashion ❤❤
And the best part is that asian parents will tell you "Why you so skinny??? Eat more." Then you eat more, and they say "Why you so fat????"
Its just a never ending cycle.
My Asian parents, too.
When they ask you, why are you fat?, then make a surprise for them, say : I am pregnant.
Then give them some time to talk about it. :D
I swear it's my asian family antics that made me insecure and develop all sorts of image and eating issues... I never even had friends who were nasty to me about that stuff, it was just always at home smh
You never win
I feel like body-shaming is a lot more socially acceptable in Asian (as well as Latinx) cultures. I try to laugh and change the topic when I encounter women who tell me to eat more or gain weight, but it really makes me uncomfortable.
Thank you Vice Asia for your support. I’m Qinwen Zhang in the video, who once slimmed down to 28kg. Hope everyone who's watching this could pay more attention to Eating Disorder as mental illness.Wish you enjoy your food and stay confident and healthy；）
Sis please be healthy. You only have one body and one life. Love yourself. Your soul sister from the philippines.
❤❤
So glad to hear about your recovery! wishing you health and prosperity!
Thanks, for raising awareness around eating disorders and stay blessed sis. ❤
I’m so happy to hear about your recovery. I struggled and still struggle with an eating disorder sometimes! ❤️ This video was so inspiring and eye opening
As a non-skinny Asian woman, I feel so seen. It is disgusting how social media has made these beauty standards even worse. There was a famous streamer that showed up weighing like 110 lbs, and the Internet tore into her stating she was too chubby. She ended up losing a ton of weight and now they love her. I hate it.
Caring what others think is the problem. That’s it
110 lbs is chubby? These beauty standards are getting a bit ridiculous
In what world is 110 pounds chubby what the fuck
time to eat less fatty
Women created these standards not guys
The world has ridiculous beauty standards and social media just made it worse
you're upset because people are too hard on themselves ? The competition to look better than others will never end. You're sort of taking an L if you don't look good, even your healths expense.
@@Artaxerxes. well having an eating disorder is literally gonna make you die so fast you won't even realize it lol no promoting death to young women and men is not it
@@Artaxerxes. I actually agree with you but it’s hard to meet certain requirements for certain people. Beauty standards change all the time there will always be someone that doesn’t fit into the trend smh
yeh tiktok has made the beauty standards worse saying obesity is ok, i agree
china has no normal social media ccp wathches everything you post it's not a collage of freedom of speech as you know it libtard
When I got covid last year, I lost 8kg. It was really hard to force myself to eat when I couldn’t taste anything. I was so exhausted all the time, it was hard for me to eat let alone get up and cook food. But by the time I recovered, I’d lost 8kg. When I finally went back to school and saw family and friends I got two very different responses. My Asian family and relatives applauded my weight loss, saying how good I looked even though it’d been an unintentional outcome of being really ill. They encouraged me to maintain my new weight and gave unwanted tips like only having breakfast and lunch, skipping dinner, etc. Made me feel guilty about eating, etc.
Whereas my western friends saw my weight loss and bought me food instead. Saying how I looked so skinny now and if I was okay. If it weren’t for my friends, I think I would’ve had a really hard time eating regularly again.
All that really matters is being healthy mentally and physically.
I had an ed back in high school and I got complimented so much for losing a big chunk of my (average) weight over summer. I constantly felt lethargic and like I was about to pass out and school/studying was basically impossible. I got better and am back at my healthy weight now.
Then I also got sick by the rona and also lost 10 kg. I was really, really sick and not tasting or smelling anything honestly robbed me of any happiness. My family was mostly concerned but there were some people applauding me for looking so "good" and how my face had slimmed and in addition to long covid for a good 6 months, struggling with these thoughts was really tough.
I am so glad I learned how to take care of my body and be kind and nurturing before this happened. I am really glad you have supportive friends who appreaciate your health and take care of you.
but just goes to show once more, being skinny doesn't mean you're healthy. Since schooltimes I stopped to comment on the weight or anything of someone. you never know why someone is the way they are
honestly just commented because I felt really alone with the rona situation and no one really got the weight thing. glad you seem to be doing good
OMG! I had the same experience during COVID. But the difference is my best friends and family were worried about me where all my teachers said I looked pretty after I lost weight. Most people said I became beautiful after I lost weight. Only a few cared about my health.
@@poushiar1013 so messed up, I hope you don't let these comments get to you! Being healthy and happy is worth so incredibly much more than looking "good" for a few people
A friend of mine had an ED...and loads of people kept saying how pretty that person looked even though they were very unwell. So they got positive feedback for an illness that could kill them....they knew it wasn't helping but then they kept getting told how pretty they looked and how people wanted to look like them! Thankfully they fought hard and have recovered now
My take is that your Asian family is not very concerned with your well-being, but very much concerned with your appearance and conduct, because that reflects on them. You getting sick and going to the hospital does not concern them as much, because while it is unfortunate, there is no shame for them. Collectivism leads to selfish groups that do not care how much the individual suffers.
Alex, the rumba teacher said “if you can’t see my value through my body, it’s your problem, not mine” and “ i’m not happy with my size but I think it’s fine”. Well said lady!
True. What she said is an inspiration, it honestly made me think what exactly is the value behind body image. A lot of people who aren't thin but not too overweight would argue that at least they're healthy, yet some of them still have the nerve to body shame others.
I don't think being overweight is ok, but trying to get into standards because of modern culture is unhealthy too. From what I understand from Alex and Cindy, the most important to find value in your self body image is respecting the need of your own body(treat and tend to its health needs) and appreciating the result that it grew into. These are the things that will also lead to having a good and healthy mental growth, which is also essential in living healthily. Cindy and Alex are such inspirational people tbh
Downvoted. I agree with the medical content and the people interviewed, with one major exception. The dance teacher is factually overweight (based on the available footage), and she herself acknowledges the shortfall.
You shouldn't be too thin, but you shouldn't be too fat either. Speaking as a fat dude. I mean, come on, where is reality here on that fat dance teacher?
She has such a confident attitude, she's a badass and I'M HERE FOR IT!!
This :’)
I speccially loved when she said "loving yourself is accetance. you don't need to give yourself 100 marks"
"If you can't see my value because of my body, that's your problem, not my problem"
"I think loving yourself is acceptance. Loving yourself doesn't mean that you give yourself a hundred marks. I think for me loving myself is that I can accept my strengths and weaknesses"
Well said Alex! Will keep this here for my own reminder (: you're pretty, your personality really shines through and make you so attractive in this video! I want to be as confident as you are :D also, you dance really well! I enjoyed watching you dance with confidence
P.s. your cooking looks delicious
It is alright to be concern or not know about what happens after this life. Fortunately there's a way to not suffer, not be in danger, not be poor, not get hurt, not have to work in vain, not have to feel any kind of negative vibe, and not to get tired anymore.
Imagine you will be invincible, immortal, and holy with a new, upgraded body to the core! Imagine everyone around you will be the same as you. Isn't that a delightful thought? It's true you or anyone can have eternal life.
All you got to do is to accept Jesus Christ 🙏 as your Savior! Once you do, He will let you into heaven during your day when you finally see Him!
I’m a Russian young woman. Although I have never really suffered from an eating disorder, it has haunted me everywhere. In childhood, I was thin and a little girl. My weight was completely normal for my age category. But because genetically I don't have an elongated torso and waist but rather wide hips and short legs, I seemed a little wider than others (although I don't think so now). At the age of 12, I liked one boy, but I couldn't admit it to him for a long time because I was afraid of his negative reaction. But I confessed to him. After that moment, my life turned into a living hell. He said that I was too fat (like a pig) and that he would never look at people like me in his life. This person stalked me, bullied me, and did many other offensive things that left me deeply traumatized (I still can't be in a relationship with another person). This was the first trigger of my addiction to food. In the following years, I could stand for hours in the mirror and look at my body. All their "imperfections", wide hips, my square figure, and thick legs. At the age of 15, I found out that my close friend had an ED, she lost a lot of weight, and looked sick and tired. She never let me help her and was afraid of doctors. I couldn't help her, she didn't listen to anyone. She is still suffering, despite the efforts of doctors. This was the second big trigger for me.
I just hated mirrors and stopped wearing beautiful things that I liked because of my figure. I started wearing super big pants and sweaters. I became disgusted with eating, I looked at the food and thought that all my problems were only because of it. My parents always supported me and never told me about my appearance, because it only made my complexes worse. But it didn't affect me at all, so I skipped meals and (Suicide Trigger) injured myself for hating myself, my body, and my appearance. I just hated everything in myself. Although at that time in my life there were no people who caused triggers. On the contrary, my friends called me cute and pretty. One girl even said that I have a beautiful and big ass and she is jealous because of that😂🤡🤟. But it didn't help, all my thoughts were about becoming flat and having a skinny figure. Such as the girls had at my school. I wanted to wear skirts, but I didn't. I wanted to wear T-shirts, but a skin disease and thick hands did not allow it. I didn't see the feeling of satiety, it scared me. Because I immediately felt fat and swollen. And I liked the emptiness inside. It gave me at least some waist and a flat stomach. But all the same, the part of my mind responsible for logic said that it was wrong and food was needed for existence. So I don't think I had a real eating disorder, I just think I, like many young girls, had a bad experience with food. But I am glad that there have always been people in my environment who have helped me. Without them, I would have snapped and committed suicide at 16... Now I also suffer from my appearance and body. But I'm working on it. Of course, I'm addicted to food, but in a different sense. I like to cook and try different cuisines. Now I'm experimenting and eating more plant foods. Although, like all people, I break down and return to the old habits of skipping meals and feeling guilty for the food I ate. But now I just got rid of a lot of triggers, especially from social networks and accounts with unhealthy weight loss nutrition. I have lost people because of ED and many have committed suicide, so I want to value my life more and live for those who could not enjoy it. I want to say that no matter who you are and what you look like, and what you love, don't let some unrealistic standards or the desire of others take away the most valuable thing - it's you. When this thought came to me, I cried for a long time like a baby. So simple, but so hard to figure out. I speak about that because I'm someone who almost passed away willingly. If you are struggling now, just know, I’m here, and let me hug you through a difficult time 🫶🥹
Thank you for sharing your story ❤
@@akatsukidarwin5557 ❤️
I’m sorry for what that waste of life did to you. If hell exists, he will roast in it. Anyways, I’m glad you’re doing better now!!
You definitely have an ED and body dysmorphic disorder. I can guarantee you’d meet the criteria in an evaluation. But that label won’t exactly change anything for you. Many of us with EDs deny it or think we can’t be sick enough to count. There are so many people with EDs who never seek treatment because it’s just not normalized, but what is normalized is starving yourself for the sake of the thin beauty standard and men valuing women on their looks. Society as a whole objectifies women. It’s something many girls grow up struggling with but it’s a disorder nonetheless. Hoping you find peace with all this.
Держись🤗
Спасибо что поделилась своей историей😢❤️
I lived in japan for a year and starved myself and was applauded by other students and my hostparents, who also encouraged it. before that they had commented on my weight every single day and had struggled with an eating disorder prior to coming to japan. i could not explain to them that i was suffering from ED because it simply was not "an issue" there.
Sis are u okay now? How is ur health condition?
U r beautiful just the way u r❤️❤️❤️
Hope you're doing well now..f them and their mentally
Hopefully you stayed thin after returning to the West. 😃😃😃😃
@@John77Doe What is wrong with you.
wao.... something is changing in China....and it's good....love these girls in the video.... beautiful ....love from India
Love what she said: she honors her appetite and that being comfortable in your body should be your personal standard of beauty.
@Forcedtolie Aboutblacks are you ..ok?
@@innusafar9438 clearly not
@Forcedtolie Aboutblacks im sorry, i'm not too sure what youre getting at, but for a human to function properly there still needs 10-30% of fat, especially in women.
Yes I totally agree with you!
@Forcedtolie Aboutblacks Lmao the fuck are you on about dude?
Nevermind, I just checked your username. You're clearly on some bullshit all the time.
The most disturbing thing about this is, it's a mindset problem so it's going to be VERY difficult to change their mind even if they want to. It's a belief that has been planted by the society (perpetuated by humans of course) to think that being physically beautiful, skinny will make you happier and 'worthier'. And because it's so deep rooted in their mind, they will actually be happier achieving that standard vs not achieving it. Most of the misery comes when they aren't able to achieve the standard. Im a Korean woman who lived in America for during my adolescent years, and the lookism culture in Korea has deeply affected me even as a child that even though I recognize its problem and try to combat it for my OWN sake, It's almost impossible to get rid of it. It's almost as if the belief system has been permanently programmed in my mind. Part of me believes that if I was able to achieve the beauty standard, I would be happy and worthy, but part of me knows that the standard does more harm than good in societal level. So I just hope that it gets better for the kids of future generations.. but tbh it seems like it's getting worse and worse.
Being obese doesn’t do any good tho, most of the fat acceptance of today is to be happy about being obese and dying at 25 from a heart attack or something.
That's why in what i strongly believe we all should strive to be in just middle ground,everage healthy weight,not too heavy or too thin to risk your health.
It's sad honestly to heard,i hope in times you will love yourself fully,just remember take care of your health first,it's your,not anyone else.
@@MrEvelyn04 That’s false and I hate that people think that. There are so many different body types that don’t even classify as obese, and some people who are considered obese are perfectly healthy. Some have a thyroid issue and can’t lose weight. You’re speaking actual nonsense, you people only care about others health when it benefits you.
@@CrystalRose1111 no, it's unhealthy. Get fit.
You can not force happiness. What most people does not understand is that joy needs SONSCIOUSNESS to work. Telling yourself that you are happy when you are not DOES NOT WORK. They TELL THEMSELVES that they are happy and manipulated, NOT actually being happy. They just do not know better.
This needs to be addressed. I’m 53 and in the UK, and in the 80’s and 90’s, everything here made you feel ashamed to have a normal figure. Every girl I knew as a teenager hated how fat they were, even with tiny waists. I still cannot stand to look at my own body, the shame is so ingrained in me that I cannot change it no matter how I try. I feel that people should not have to look at me. All because of how “size zero” was pushed by all media and everywhere you looked back then. Doesn’t matter that this country isn’t doing it now, I still have it in my head that I have to be skinny to be worthy.
China needs to address this or todays teenagers will be affected for life, like I am.
It is alright to be concern or not know about what happens after this life. Fortunately there's a way to not suffer, not be in danger, not be poor, not get hurt, not have to work in vain, not have to feel any kind of negative vibe, and not to get tired anymore.
Imagine you will be invincible, immortal, and holy with a new, upgraded body to the core! Imagine everyone around you will be the same as you. Isn't that a delightful thought? It's true you or anyone can have eternal life.
All you got to do is to accept Jesus Christ 🙏 as your Savior! Once you do, He will let you into heaven during your day when you finally see Him!
Beauty standards constantly change. There was a skinny fad in the West too during the 80s-90s through magazines and supermodels. Being the healthiest you is the most beautiful you lol. Don't let changing standards control you.
Being OBESE and FAT shall never be Fashionable in Asia. In your dreams
Gold
Yeah! Fat was like a beauty standard too back in ancient Europe and I think Han dynasty in China? Then it is just thin thin….
In the 00's too. If you had the tiniest bit of flab hanging out of your lowrider jeans, you were considered a cow
all of this that china is starting is about CAPITALISM and PROFIT. they are the major producers of almost everything, including fabric and clothing, and making people believe that THIN is the in thing will only make them "profit" more in the sense that they could sell clothing at the same high price but LESS MATERIAL is used to produce it.
I’m Japanese and after I moved to Canada to study, I was really surprised coz my Asian friends always care about their body and weight and say "I gotta lose more weight" while most of non-Asian friends don’t care. I mean some of them care and it’s not just in Asia though. Tbh almost everyone in Japan, especially women think “being skinny is being beautiful“. I used to think that too and it’s natural to believe that since there are many cute girls who are skinnier than me on social media and people like them. U know we can see how many likes those girls get and obviously many people like skinny, pretty girls coz it’s beauty standard. People who managed to lose their weight say “You should start a diet if you want to be pretty and popular” and that post gets 10k likes. A 14 year old innocent girl who had no confidence believed that and started too extreme diet. It’s me. I thought I could love myself and just be pretty but I never thought I was skinny enough or I was so pretty that I could be confident. It just made me scared to eat food. It was really toxic that people around me always said “ You’re so skinny! I wanna be like u” I felt like everyone was judging me. Luckily in Canada I met new friends and I started to think that I don’t have to care about my body and others anymore!! People in here don’t say anything about my body and it’s just so comfortable. Now I’m back to Japan and when I see my friends and their parents, they always say that I don’t look like I gained weight though I went to Canada. (Many people think people gain weight after studying abroad because food in abroad is not that healthy as what we eat in Japan. ) Anyways, they think I would be glad if I hear that I’m still skinny but it just makes me stressful. I don’t want anyone to say anything about my body. I hate that beauty standard and hope people won’t care about that too much.
Not only Asia. Not only Japan. I'm from Iran (western asia) 172cm and 60kg. I feel I'm not skinny enough.Endless cycle...
@@thelastChang lol good for you. You are my idol . personally I like BMI 16. but we all know it is a little risky for human body.
I'm from Iran as I said. In my country people say I may die from being skinny. There is no one thinner than me in my family or my friends. It is so depended on the cultures.
Under "66 korean size" people will gaze at you like you have a problem. Iranian people use to think that if you are under bmi 20, you may have a problem like addiction to drugs or etc.
Actually I do not like my body. I feel like I have to go on a diet and aim for 52 kg. But you dare to tell my mom? She soon will buy my favorite fruit, meet, ice-cream, nuts, etc. to encourage me for eating more 😭😂 Funny. Yeah?
Beauty standards in my culture is crazy. Iranian guys are 170 to 180 cm so they like girls in 160 to 168 cm. They like curvey girls like bmi 23. Being curvy in my culture is also a sing of good chance for having healthy children.
Btw.
Actual word for "Greeting" in Persian is "چاق سلامتی"
You can read "chagh salâmati"
"Chagh" means fat
"Salamat"i means health.
It says undirectly: "If you are fat, you are healthy." Crazy yeah?
Well it has a long story behind this kind of culture. But let me mention: before 18th century, food was not available like the modern life. You had to walk a lot and work a lot. Also Iran had a cold weather. So if you were fat, you had a better chance to survive.
After all the main matter is not changed: I LIKE BMI 16 😁❤️
@@thelastChang I am 162 cm and almost 60 kg, and my BMI is within the normal range. So even that is not "overweight". So stop lying
@@Hannah-lr4le you are skinny enough, don't listen to people with unrealistic expectations.
@@thelastChang you're very skinny
Growing up in Brazil i always faced a different problem: being too skinny. My body type is far away from the perfect body figure in my country, people always said to me how i was skinny and tall and how much i needed to gain some weight. These comments always affected me until now, when i learned how to love me the way i am.
Also im 1.93m and 64kg, genetics plays a big role for me since my whole family is skinny and tall
i got the same problem, i have some thickness on my arms and legs, but still being tall, skinny with no hips or tits and welp, totally different as my country's (colombia) or latina beauty cannons, it makes me a bit sad to look girls my same age more curvy than me hahah 😿
this is how i feel but here in America. people are so used to seeing overweight people, that once they see someone that's slightly skinny or thin, they automatically think it's unhealthy
Same as a black girl growing up in America. I was constantly ridiculed for being too skinny, I literally hated looking in the mirror at myself for years.
@@samu-chanso true.
You won the genetic jackpot honestly.
I really liked what the Zumba instructor said. Loving ourselves doesn’t mean we have to feel good about our bodies. Our bodies do so much for us, despite how we feel about our bodies, it’s important to accept it and learn to be neutral about it. Thank you for sharing a light on ED. As a normal weight person, I feel our eating disorder is often overlooked and people don’t understand the severity of it.
SAME.
The "body neutral" concept has already helped me so much. When I think of how valuable it is to have a body that can is healthy and comfortable, that helps me communicate with others and experience things, that lets me do physical activities, I become thankful for it and value self-care rather than feeling that self-hatred and shame. Fear that you're not "good enough" is a prison. If someone is willing to look down on me because of my body, what they're withholding from me was never love to start with.
So yeah anyway finding a joyful reason to care for myself has helped immensely
I have two legs, two arms, they work, my brain iscongnative, my body moves withour restriction and breathes, digests, works optimally.. I does it's job and well. For that I am grateful.
Wanna know something? Being Fat is a Choice!
@@kelljA
Yes! I'm Fatohobic! I will never accept myself Fat. Loosers only need an excuse, nothing more, nothing less.
As someone who struggled with ED, seeing this made me both extremely grateful to have that behind me, but also very sad knowing others feel as emotionally messed up as I did. This is even worse.
Same here. I'm 24yo now I've been underweight most of my life (not just because of ED though, I'm naturally skinny because I lack appetite but I've also had ED in my teens) and it's crazy how much better I feel when I'm not underweight, like I can't even imagine going back to being underweight. I support being healthy thin but these people clearly aren't healthy and that sucks.
I've been anorexic in the past two years, i am in a better shape and weight now, this has been a culmination of my parents and their friends that i was left unsupervised in the kitchen, you know what that means.
I was also diagnosed with an Ed when i was 14. I was this 6ft girl weighing 92 ibs. Ive been in remission ever since, and I'm now 20 weighing 107ib. Long way to go but I'm happy with my progress.
I'm a recovering heroin addict, and I get so sad hearing tales of addiction, be it drugs, food, gambling etc, because I hate to think of anyone feeling the way I felt. When u know, u know.
sameee🙌
I have an autoimmune disorder. When I was 27, I became so ill I had to take a five week leave of absence from work. My internal organs were so swollen they pressed against my stomach and gave me a constant feeling of always being full. I struggled so much to eat that along with all of my other issues, I seriously thought I may die. I tried to eat spoonfuls of peanut butter because I physically was incapable of eating any normal volume of food. I lost an absurd amount of weight in a very short time. At 5’8” I fit an American size 0-2. EVERYONE told me how great I looked. Dull, grayish skin, sunken eyes with dark circles, but I was SKINNY! So I looked so good. It was very disheartening to me that everyone thought I looked better when I was dying. On top of how extremely thin I was, these people knew I had dropped a drastic amount of weight in a very short time span. But it didn’t matter. I was skinny.
People are sick and this is every where We have an illness Its called The Self and it appears it is every place on the planet I would like to think that if these people (women and men) could put the time into healing the world that they do in fixating on how thin their legs are that we would live in a different world Its amazing the oppsession that is with the self
NO OFFENSE TO YOU ALL! I'm doing this out of good intent.
God does love non Christians. God knows we are all sinners. What is sin? Sin is an action that is not good and done or thought out of bad intentions. We all lie, trick others, and are prideful/selfish sometimes. God (Jesus Christ) came down in the form as an human and died for our sins. He resurrected from death thus we can also defeat death 💀 if anyone of us accept Him as Savior for our sins.
We cannot save ourselves from sin no matter how many good deeds we do. Everyday we sin. Christians do too. But if you are a Christian ✝️, you will go to heaven when God plays back your whole life to you. But if you die without being a Christian ✝️, then you will suffer forever 💔 without being in heaven.
God doesn't judge you based on worldly success nor physical attraction. Jesus Christ loves ❤️ you and values your character. If u end up being poor, He still won't abandon you. You can pray 🙏 to reach out to Him, and you'll see what He will do for you and others. Sometimes He will see if you will trust His will which is not always the same as your will nor desire. But He does what He knows is best for you despite us not knowing that. Have a nice day!
Korea: obsessed with facial features
China: skinny waist
Japan: cuteness
America: hourglass figure
India: fair complexion
Europe: porcelain skin with red lips
I am sure other countries must have had their own obsessions. Such a wor!d we live in
As a French who's been mocked for being "too white" I think Europe is more about tanned skin than porcelain skin
I think Europeans also value being “skinny”. It’s not necessarily age old European beliefs but rather influenced by the western couture beauty and fashion industry and also the entertainment industries . These
Ppl are giving our children an unhealthy obsession with their outer bodies and not enough focus on their intelligence .
And the skin colour thing is across all races so I don’t agree with the person. I mean obsession with fair skin is also
Amongst black people and all of east asia!. We have racism amongst the same race apparently some of us are too brown or black and others brown and fair but not fair enough 😂. East asia has more whitening creams than india , india is jealous 😂.
I shouldn’t laugh it’s really pathetic .
@@lefweakshow871 agree, I came to the UK from Scandinavia, and people keep asking if I'm ill. No bruh, I'm just pale af. People keep trying to make me go to a tanning salon or use selftanning creams. I like being ghostly white, I have no sun damage on my skin, no wrinkles even tho I'm closing 45 this year. Yet my paleness somehow offends people. Just let me enjoy my shady forest in peace, I don't want sunny beaches. >,
@@lefweakshow871 really? Woah,ironic,that in europe,want to tan their skin,that here in my country,more whiter you are,more beautiful you are in others eyes,funny how its always look greener in other sides huh
True, beauty standards worldwide are messed up
I lived in Hong Kong for a summer while doing my college internship. My first day in the office, a young man came up to me, grab my wrist and said to his coworker in Chinese "Wow, look, her wrist is so fat. I can barely fit my fingers around it!" My mouth drop, probably with a look of horror. How do you respond to a comment like that? His coworker told him I understand Chinese. He looked me straight in the face and said in English "Well, it's true. You need to loose weight." I am 5'3" and 105lbs! I didn't think much of it since it was one dumb random comment. I went to a clothing store and was shock to find that I barely fit into their 1 size fits all clothes and my feet were on their XL size. My shoe size is 6.5! The 2 sales girls were giggling (I know it was at me because I understand them) I was there for a summer and felt the body shaming. I can only imagine growing up there. The pressure and ridicule to be skinny and tiny.
I would have said "Your stubby fingers are too short. Short-limbed Asian man." 😂
I had a similar story with women from Nigeria in honkong
he tried to touch her but
she broke the nose of a guy
Man.. im shorter and heavier than you but everyone in South Korea says im skinny :/ that man is so mean 😭
Oh that makes me so mad! That man was rude and have no respect for people! Who is he to judge! That is such a sick mentality to have!
@@cassieh5506 Exactly. If an Asian guy makes fun of your weight remind him how "short" he is. Will shut him up real quick. 🤣🤣🙄
I’ve always been skinny but growing up in Latinamerica that’s not an asset at all. I used to feel very self conscious about not having the curvaceous figure considered as the beauty standard in that part of the world. I moved to Australia at 19 and seeing so many versions of beauty opened up my eyes. Fast forward a few years and a I got into a car accident and badly broke my leg and elbow. It was a blessing in disguise as for the first time I started to look at my body not for what it looked like but for what it did for me, what it had allowed to do prior to the accident which I had never truly appreciated. It’s hard to care about the shape of your legs when you can’t walk. Several surgeries later and I can go places again….Now I talk to my body and tell it: “ As long as you’re healthy you can be any shape you choose to be”. I’m still skinny but thankful for my body.
This was beautifully said
This is so beautiful
Oh dear.. that's beautiful.. hope you're doing good..
This was the very first comment that made me cried.
"I started to look at my body not for what it looked like but for what it did for me" omg....I dunno why but I sorta teared up at this
I remember weighing 43 kg one day at 26 yo and just staring at my legs, admiring them. Later that day I ran into an old friend and she was so shocked to see my hollow face. She touched my cheeks and asked me if I was okay. I had not paid attention to my face up until that point. I didn’t listen to her at the time, but when I look at pictures from back then, I can now see what she meant. It looked so lifeless and I just never saw that. Only things that mattered to me were my bones sticking out, my skinny legs, my boney back.. Today I weigh almost 20 kg more and I got my chubby cheeks back. And I actually look younger today than when I did back then. Seeing these girls faces before and after reminded me of that time. And they all look so beautiful as well.
It is so sad that so many women, do not want to be affected , but we ALL ARE. We know weight should not be that important, but in our mind, during our grow up time, we are planted the idea of we can not be fat ,we need to be thinner. It can not be changed. It is frustrated. It is a typical sign that feminism is we weak in China. We do not have the rights to be in any weights in a peaceful mood. We are worried all the time. There is so much pain inside.
As a Chinese woman, I deeply understand the body standards they talking about. It's really frustrating and hopeless when people so care about the weight of woman, even women themselves.
Me too
I'm still trapped into that feeling of not being good enough
And then i wonder
"Good enough for whom?"
@@wangxiao2019 exactly! You just should be satisfied with your own body, because it's yours ! : D
Western standards are far more tough, In Far East and Far Southeast Asia, everyone knows its near impossible for an East Asian woman to have beautiful feminine curves (big bra size, big womanly bottom and hip sizes) ALONG with their skinny waist no fat on belly, so people expect less of them. So they just settle with manly skinny flat as the standard🚪.
Whereas outside the Far East, women are known for big pretty bottom and hip and bra sizes, while also skinny thin waist no fat on belly ⏳🍑🔥💕
@@myrnaa6065 I would say both are toxic and dangerous. They are only achievable by doing harm to your body or getting work done (except if you have the "right" genetics to be considered beautiful by the current beauty standards). I think it's not good to compare it and say that one is worse than the other.
My friend is Chinese and it makes me so sad when she tells me that her relatives and friends call her out for being "chubby" and "ugly". They also put a lot of pressure on her to get married and have children. I wish I could make her feel better about it all and I hope that she realises that she is good the way she is.
As an Asian who came to UK for over 2 years, now I'm always surprised and enraged so much by the body shaming comments on Chinese social media when I log back into them. It's a mix feeling of "OMG how can you say that" and "I bet everyone around you had said the same thing to you."
It's so absurd since I'm using western TikTok at the same time and so many people will be called out for this type of behaviour. It's literally a parallel universe, people in Asia think it's a way of looking out for your health but it's nothing more than toxic verbal abuse. Not to mention that almost every time jumping on a video call with my mom after a while, the first thing she'd say is "You should stop eating so much and control your body a bit, your face looks fat." Thanks god that my dad sometime will just tell her to shush.
Updated
Guys, not my mom today in the family group chat after I posted this comment lmao
Me: sending pictures of my lunch yesterday(pesto pasta) and this morning’s breakfast (avocado toast)
My mom: you should cut down on the carbs, that’s how you can stay away from being fat
Me inside: AHHHHHHHH WOMAN LET ME LIVE
Omg completely relatable! When I visit my family in China everyone around me tells me I need to lose weight, like straight to my face. This type of behaviour would be completely unacceptable in the western world. It's not acceptable anywhere really and that's why many girls in China suffer low self-esteem, depression and eating disorders.
west is also a different set of toxic, a hypocritical one. just do whatever makes you happy
Also experienced some of that from my aunt 💀 I'm an American trans guy (my family is from Vietnam), so hearing my vain aunt tell me I was getting fat when puberty hit and then, several years later, remark about how slim I got when she saw me while I was wearing a chest binder for the first time, was insane. The sheer audacity of some people, lmao.
Staying healthy is more important than anything else.
Listen to medical professionals not influencers
It's been a thing in asian cultures to be called fat by the older family members your mom aunt cousins etc would all be blatant and say "you look fat". So it's not a new thing asian girls have been taught this way by the older generation
As an Asian from PH, I was born thin. I got bullied and my lunch always been taken away from me when I was young and got social anxieties and trauma. When I got the freedom, I ate a lot to regain myself. However, I became too fat.
I sometimes had rough times because clothes are kinda difficult to find for my size, and Im about 80kg with 5'3 height right now. But I never said I hated it. In fact im happy this way. Thats how you know people would like me the way I am, and not how I physically look like. Your body will degrade and become old and lumpy in the future, but people who will be loyal to you will always be there. Thats all I need.
Now, not "All asians" like thin as stick like some of these people are. Sexy and malnourished body are two completely different things. They dont define beauty to some countries. We are all aware they're unhealthy. Its your choice if you want this kind of body, but remember. Beauty will be nothing if youre near lying down your death bed.
I’m from Singapore, and I used to get compliments when I was borderline underweight. The problem is that when I’m an actual healthy weight, my face is very round since I tend to put fat on my face before anywhere else. I eventually got diagnosed with a medical issue and got treatment, which led to me putting on weight (I’m at the ideal weight for my height now). But I actually got people telling me how round my face is and that I have a slight double chin. I don’t care though, my body looks great now! I actually have meat and a good shape. I can’t help my fat distribution, just gotta learn to love what you have as long as you’re healthy.
I just wanted you to know and to tell you… there is nothing, absolutely nothing problematic or unfortunate about your round face. Round, square, plump, angular, oval, whatever it is… it’s you. There is no other you. Look around. You’re unique. And you’re beautiful, not because you look like this or that or blah blah blah… but just because you ARE. x
I’m from the west, but had recently lost twenty pounds whenever I was already thin. I remember many telling me “how beautiful” and “model-like” I looked. Positive reinforcement really hurts in that sense. I was so weak and pale, there was no color in my face and I was always light headed. It wasn’t until my boyfriend said “you look so gaunt and tired, please eat more, I love you” that I realized it was a big deal
I'm glad you're boyfriend is looking after you, please stay healthy and happy 🥺
That was so caring of him😩
No one would tell you that in the West unless it was 3 decades ago
@@bdh711 they just said that this happened to them in the west though. they are just sharing a personal story, no need to discount it because you personally don't think it could happen.
@@bdh711 Depends where in the west tho, not everything west of Asia is automatically USA
People praising these unhealthy standards in the comment section are disgusting. These women aren't thin, they're underweight, dangerously so. Imagine calling a bunch of teen girls ugly for not being sickly thin. It seems like people just love to insult fat people and say "but their health" without understanding the health risks of being underweight.
I bet anything you’re a hypocrite and praise plus size models for being “beautiful” and “confident”.
Staying healthy is more important than anything else.
Listen to medical professionals not influencers
@@Timbone07some of those influencers deserve death penalty
exactly the "skinny" bodies they are praising are not normal, they are unhealthy and underweight and sickeningly underweight is the standard while anyone who's average is considered FAT
People from the west have no right to be criticising other cultures citing "health"
As someone who suffered an ed, both overeating and undereating, I regularly followed Kpop model diets and it ruined my whole mentality over food. Thank you for emphasizing this “normalized” issue that’s nationwide.
Beauty is the state you feel comfortable in. She is absolutely right about that. Nothing can make you more beautiful than when you feel completely comfortable in your own skin. I love that we were able to see three different perspectives about the same topic in this video. It gives an insight into how everyone perceives beauty differently. Don't go for the trends, go for what's healthy for you, what makes you comfortable and what makes you feel good. Don't let anything force or influence you to change that. Like Cindy said, be in control of your own body, you're it's best handler. No one else is.
Ngl. Whenever I look at Chinese,Japanese and Korean standards I feel very blessed to have been born in India. There was a trend amongst girls of my age to be thin but our parents and elders would always emphasise on eating properly,engaging in sports and reading. My mom and teachers would always make sure I ate. There was once a time I did not bring my lunch box and every person(teacher incl.) gave me some stuff from their box on a plate to eat so that I do not go hungry.
Same here
lmao sure, im to be born in a shath0le country 🤣
no I would be proud to be born japanese,korean than indian for sure
im lucky to live in Europe
the teachings of our ancestors don’t let these horrible trends to take over☺️
@@nikitamishra5075 but it's still increasing in cities due to the influx of korean culture.
@@sravaniyadavalli1359 trends come and go sis☺️ they will grow up and understand true beauty and health 🙏🏽❤️
I'm from Southeast Asia and throughout my teen years my own family would comment on my body, how I was too chubby, my butt was too big, etc. I eventually developed bulimia and secretly kept it up for years to gain acceptance, whether it's from society, friends, or family. It slowly escalated into chronic gastritis and I now experience pains from mild spicy food, skipping a meal, indigestion, mild oral medication, and heart burn among others. My husband was pivotal in my stopping bulimia and I'm slowly learning to accept a body that is healthy rather than skinny. Remember, those people giving external gratification aren't going to be there when you fall ill or feel down. You have to rely on your own strength and a healthy body is one way to do that.
Im also south East Asian and luckily I don’t live in a country with any beauty standards or things like that (I’m bruneian) but even with so many healthy and normal bodies around me, no body shaming, nothing negative honestly still it’s hard not to feel bad about a body… I’m a person who since the age of 6 I had many insecurities especially bc my friends were quite thin… I never realized until now but those insecurities were worst in 3rd grade and I never realized how skinny I was in 3rd grade… even now it’s still hard being slightly anorexic but yea… remember ur body is beautiful and u never need to change a thing 🤍
yes. I notice a normalization of gastric problems and other health issues as you describe among my girl friends as they age. I always thought they are just naturally small portion eaters and they really "so busy that they forgot to eat". It is when all the health issues come up and I start realizing it can be related to their unhealthy eating habits. But still, nobody is willing to acknowledge that that is the cause. They are still insisting that they are eating properly and their husbands and boyfriends also insist they are naturally small eaters.
I’m from Southeast Asia and all those comments backhandedly complimenting my skinniness even though I just carelessly eat
I just laughed and ate my food more loudly in front of them jajajaja
Life is short, just do what makes you happy. If that’s dieting sure. If that’s eating, sure.
I'm also from Southeast Asia and when I was 15 a relative told my mother "It's okay she will lose weight during puberty by herself ❤" that hurts, ngl, especially because my bmi was normal (this is like the tamest thing someone said when I was younger)
Absolutely God bless you my friend
“I’m not happy with my size right now. But I think that’s fine”
Awesome level of nuance to see, genuinely. Feels like in western discussions too, this isn’t really brought up. People should absolutely be in an environment to be able to accept their bodies for what they are. BUT they should also be in a position to themselves be unhappy with their body and want change, without that affecting the rest of their life.
I grew up in China until I come to the States at age of 14. I always think of myself as not skinny enough and it really makes me feel bad about myself. Sadly, this unhealthy mental thought never go away in my mind. I was chubby in High School and I lost a lot of weight 5'7 height and 132 lb. However, I feel the same way as now 235lb... I don't know why. Looking back at my pictures in HS, I realized I was so slim. Now I just want to lose weight but so hard...
This is EXACTLY me!!!
This obsession of the thinner the better has been around, particularly for East Asian women, for a long time. Japan and Korea are the other two obsessive nations. I never knew being curvy (c. 50kg = 110lb) was attractive until I moved to the US as a teenager. And when I relocated to live in the UK later on, I was always labelled as tiny. I literally thought people were bonkers uttering such a nonsense. The gap between what I was led to believe I was in East Asia vs what others in the West saw was mind boggling.
Thicc is the way to go
@@Plopi No a healthy body whether you’re naturally slim or bigger is the way to go.
@@mslondonlove1435 yes! I'm asian and i have curly hair, i'm too short and i have muscular legs. Oh the comments i got growing up were crazy and it did affect me in a lot of ways. From parents, relatives, co-workers, strangers and even ppl same age and friends. Now i accept myself. The goal is to live healthy. When ppl comment on my legs i always say, "at least my legs bring me to places you'll never be" or "hey i could walk with them, right?" shuts them up
Or the classic:
Them: "you gained weight!"
Me: " i know! You too!"
Puts them in place. Ahahaha.
I'm honestly thankful to my parents that we immigrated out of South Korea. As much as I love my country, it's got major issues.
The toxic work and study culture, misogyny, the high ass beauty standards, the abelism and mistreatment of people born with mental conditions and physical disadvantages, the homophobia of my country and its high amount of dangerous cults and toxic religious people. I know it's not all bad, but i'm scared of what i'll experience when I eventually have to go back.
@@thebookreader287 that comeback's so good. I gotta use that too.
I remember when I took my last math class in college. We were in class during a break and I was eating some chips. An Asian guy that was very friendly with me asked me if I had gained weight. The girl sitting next to me was really shocked, and told him not to say something like that or asked him how he could say that, I forgot exactly what she said. I just told him I didn't know, and I honestly don't since the only times I get weighed is when I go to the doctor which isn't that often. Later, when I was studying at the library, same guy came and sat down at my table. He asked me the same thing and said I should lose 5-10 lbs. I just told him I was focused on passing the class, since I'm bad at math, and that my weight or losing weight wasn't a priority. Can't say I was offended, I was just surprised at his nosiness. Like, how does my weight affect him in any way? 🤣 I do suspect he may have been interested in me, like I said, he was very friendly with me. So ig maybe he just wanted his future gf to be skinny? 😂 Anyways, that wasn't going to happen.
Be glad you are not in Asia. If you share this story in any Asian context, they will be busy telling you how that guy is interested in you and you feel flattered instead and consider dating him. As if anyone can get attracted to rude meanie control freak.
that's hilarious haha, boys are just so self-absorbed that they think what we do or look like is FOR them, like we're some sort of ornament to look at. it's pathetic honestly. other than that, i'm glad u didn't let it get the hold of you and remained authentic!
Wow! Sorry to hear about this. I can only imagine how he may have said something like this to other women or girls and caused them to develop EDs or complexes about their bodies...all the while he thinks he was being "nice" and "helpful". So disturbing!
@@naev.3344 Yeah, like I said I wasn't really offended. I still tell people about it as a funny story and we crack up about it. We were also in uni so I didn't really care about it. But maybe if I was still in highschool it would've affected me negatively. Tbh, he wasn't hot shit, either, so I really didn't care what he had to say lol
Gross- you handled that with much more grace than I think many would be inclined to- at least in the U.S.
I visited China for the first time recently, I can concur that beauty standard in China is really toxic. Other than stick thin, they do not accept any other body image and body shape. I remember shopping for clothes and I could only fit into size L but it was slightly tight (when I'm consistently a UK8/10), the sales assistant asked me to lose some weight. As a gym enthusiast and a frequent marathon runner, that comment was appaling to me. I hope with more awareness, this will change one day.
Its amazing (and disturbing) to read so many off all your comments. So many of you describe your experience in so much detail. All experiences about expected body standards, but so many from different countries with different expectations. Thankyou all for sharing. For me, a guy from Holland, it is something we know exist but are blissfully unaware how it is like. Keep sharing the stories!
It really hit home how she could look in the mirror and know that she didn't look good and needed to gain weight but still be unable to reconcile that feeling with wanting to be thin.
Because gaining weight means losing control to someone with an eating disorder
gosh i really thought i was alone 6 years ago 😴
@@chocolatecharley99 literally "control" what? If you want to control something, own a sim idk. that ssuch an odd vague comment ppl make
@@Babycake. A big part of disordered eating is about control. Control over yourself, willpower. If you control yourself enough you can have what you want (a thin body). To gain weight means that you've lost that control.
Unfortunately these sort of body standards are seeping into India because of intsa, bollywood and kdramas.
For example when I was 13 years old a group of mean girls in my class asked why I was fat (aap itne motte kyu ho?) . I was literally shocked by this question. My figure at that time was like the healthy girls shown in this video.
I simply replied as a joke that my school uniform made me look fat. “Yeah right” One of the girls replied and made up a puffed up face to ridicule me.
Later that year that same girl’s friend had fainted in the science laboratory. When she was offered a bar of chocolate after recovering she refused it like it was going to poison her. At that instant I realised that she was suffering from body image issues. She was extremely thin( not like a skeleton that they are showing in the video but she was at the verge of becoming one) and was considered one of the the most popular and beautiful girl in the school.
It pains me to see that even the people who tried to ridicule my body are not comfortable in their own body.
edit: Seriously it's heart breaking to read people's stories in the comment section. I'm just here to say that I support all of you. Because I've been there. Fortunately I have parents who understood me and forced me to lead a healthy lifestyle i.e enough food and right exercise(walking and yoga). I still have certain amount of belly fat and chubby round face. But I love it. No matter what anyone says. It's there for a reason. It proves that you are completely healthy and normal. It also doesn't matter if you are skinny or very fat. What matters is you fulfil your body's and heart's need. Not other people's judgements.
Yes people with flawed views dumping their thoughts on others cause inside they must've been really insecure to encounter someone that is living his/her life that doesn't seem to really care about what she cares.
Indian here. Keep doing your thing. Health is so so important, I can't stress this enough. I had a toxic ex-bestfriend who constantly commented on my eating habits. I developed an ed and I was dangerously skinny. Although being skinny looks good on the outside, I was always anxious and nervous - my mental health was down the drain. When I "broke up" with that friend, I gradually started eating more and it did wonders for my constant anxiety and fainting.
I know a lot if people will have similar stories or may be even different ones. But the point I'm trying to make is that please please don't let others opinions of you get to you. Eat good and eat healthy.
I can relate
Side note but your name is really pretty
@@lettuce258 Thanks 🥰
I used to have hard times too in my 20s. I was so aware of my weight. I am over 175 cm at that time. You can say I am tall for average asian girl. And of course my weight is much more than other girls. People always say that they didn't expect me to weigh this much or I have a big belly or bla bla. And I tried to lose weight and always tried to suck my belly in. I worked out everyday. Trying to lose weight. Trying to have an hourglass shape. Trying to be pretty. And everyday is like a hell. Everywhere is hurt, my arm, my leg, my belly, my heart. There is nowhere that is not hurt. But I overcome that. Right now I feel happy with my body and I still work out. But just for feeling good. Working out makes me less suffer from bloating and period pain. Since I am not aiming for any weight lose or body type, I am starting to enjoy it too ❤
I lived in china for 6 years and this is so super accurate. After lunch times the bathrooms at my company would always smell awful only to later realise it was because lots of girls would puke after their meals and it was so normal. All the conversations i had with my chinese friends was about their body size but they were not comfortable talking about the methods they use to loose weight. The amount of pressure they go through is so bad n they way they are so mean to each other is even worse. I dont think it will change anytime soon its so ingrained in them.
The Zumba instructor looks so happy and self accepting. I love her energy!
She's on the opposite end of the extreme. Full-on narcissism.
The other girls seem much more sensible.
@@alexfrank5331 being self-aware and confident does not equate to narcissism. I feel like you've missed the point of this video.
@@alexfrank5331 How is she full of narcissism when she literally said about herself "I don't feel comfortable in my body but I think self-love is accepting yourself" ???? A narcissist wouldn't admit they feel uncomfortable lmao
Downvoted. I agree with the medical content and the people interviewed, with one major exception. The dance teacher is factually overweight (based on the available footage), and she herself acknowledges the shortfall.
You shouldn't be too thin, but you shouldn't be too fat either. Speaking as a fat dude. I mean, come on, where is reality here on that fat dance teacher?
@@alexfrank5331 Wow whatever did she say to offend you that you felt inclined to accuse of narcissism? Seems like you have some esteem issues of your own, feeling slighted by a woman who has self-confidence.
As a western woman from the USA, I lived in mainland China for about a year. The beauty standards over there shocked me.
The obsession with being very underweight is rampant.
I lost 30 pounds while being there because I was constantly ridiculed for having a bmi of 23.
Unfortunately, when I came back the idea of staying and getting thinner stuck with me.
I don’t want to blame my experience in China for my eating disorder but it introduced me to the power I had over my own body and consumption. Now I am mocked for being very thin over here in the states.
It’s honestly really crazy to think that if I went over there now, I’d still be considered chubby even though I am technically underweight here.
Otherwise, China was a beautiful place with wonderful culture and scenery and I made many good friends.
If you mean the men said that to you over there, you're lying, thats not how they were with me being slim thicc hourglass⏳🔥 lmao. They know NON Far East Asian women are more curvy feminine beautiful and don't judge foreigners with same standards, likely its just the women, then they were just jealous of your curves 💕💅 sis (they usually have the tiniest flattest bra size, and bottom and hip size).
Your BMI should be around 17.7 after losing 30 pounds. It's strange that you're mocked for it in the Western Hemisphere. It's an ideal weight by Western beauty standards. Do you live in an area with many immigrants from non-European backgrounds?
@@maryeverett2266 likely those immigrants from china it seems
@@maryeverett2266 Everywhere thats not the Far East or Far Southeast Asia has practically the same body beauty standard, slim thick curvy hourglass ⏳💕, meaning... Big bottom and hips and bra size, all the while skinny thin waist no fat on belly.
Everywhere has this beauty standard because its based on a womans natural sexual dimorphic traits. Everywhere except Far East Asian Women, because they usually have tiny bra size, tiny bottom size, and flat hip size.
@@myrnaa6065 I’ll be honest, most East Asian men have no interest in foreigners other than a one night stand, because they think you’re more open minded than an East Asian girl
my gf was in Korea before we met. She tried to lose weight by some extreme methods such as vomiting, no food, etc. I can feel her desperation when she talked about the story. I feel like that's some typical Asian way to define beauty even tho it's harmful to health. But thanks God now, we both started work out. Amazingly, our sense of beauty also changed a lot from skinny to fit.
yes diet culture is huge in Korea... so many skinny and thin women were constantly going on a diet.. its wild
As a girl whose mom is filipino (southeast asian) and Chinese (East Asian), these habits shows that my mom shows are crazy. Ever since I was younger she would push me into loosing weight and encourages me to it aswell, I understand the body standards. My mom had an eating disorder building up. She and I did this diet together, we skipped breakfast, ate a boiled egg for lunch then for dinner it would be a salad but for my sake she would give me a small bowl of rice and vegetables. Not only was I not eating well I also had activities, ballet, dance, kumon, instruments and more. I was at the edge of fainting, o top of that they would over work me in ballet, such as pushing me to the limits and all of that. As for now my mom has somewhat recovered although I still think about how I look, my weight and all of that. My mom isn't at full fault at this, her family encouraged her on loosing weight and making sure she is fit. I hope that in the future no one experiences this problem. Im a teenager who has a problem on looks and the judgement of others, for people they see me as someone so skinny but in my eyes Im not good enough.
Wanting to lose weight and be healthy is perfectly okay, if it's for yourself. The problem begins when you don't know when to stop. That's how it is for me at least.
I agree unless it's done in an unhealthy manner cause it's actually gonna do more damage than good in the long run.
the problem is when you come at it with an unhealthy mindset
Once you start it’s no big deal but getting to stop is so hard. Those urges are so strong you would think I was taking drugs the way I was so addicted to feeling hungry
u ca
@@butterfree93148lifestyle that’s not true, being thin is always more healthy than being obese. There was a morbidly obese man who didn’t eat for a whole year and was able to lose the weight and be healthier than before
I know this is an easy thing to say for an old guy such as me (57 years), but I also had struggles in my youth. Now when I'm old I'd like to say to the younger version of myself as well as to you young ladies out here struggeling with accepting yourselfs;
First of all, if you don't accept yourself the way you look and the way you are, then no one else will. Secondly, don't be so upset about your physical appearance but rather evolve yourself on a personal level, we all grow old and with that we grow uglier (and fatter in some cases, don't ask me how I know).
And lastly; Forget about what others think and might say about your appearance, enjoy your life to the full extent, cause despite what some people think, life is not going to repeat itself (on a personal level). It's here and now, not tomorrow or another time and another place. Enjoy yourself guys, and if you enjoy to eat good food, then eat !!!
Best wishes and regards;
Mr. T
I never heard such important words of advice from my own father and now I feel like I recieved it, so thank you :)
I would like to chime in: People who love you absolutely will accept you and the way you are, even if you don't. It's not an either or situation.
This is wholesome and are words many needed. Thank you, Mr. T!!
@@mojigreen6461 It pleases me if I can do something for someone who might need a push in the right direction so to speak, so your comment is very much appreciated 😊.
@@xfranczeskax So true.
this inspires me to come out with my own story on the topic.. thank you very much
Now you understand, we Asian women are not born to be skinny but are forced to be since we're young. I was 110 pounds at 13 years old and they called me fatty but in fact I was just around 5 kg overweight. Teachers and classmates thought I was a glutton and lazy so they teased you every time you eat and run. Then I did crash diet, lost 5 kg during semester holiday, the whole class was shocked when new term begin ok no more bullying but at the expense of my health I was sick and weak, couldn't join any PE class and scared the hell out of my parents. Learn the hard lesson so I pay more attention on proper diet and exercise. now my weight is 50 kg, normal bmi, you ask me if I wanna be fat again? Well, not necessarily stick thin but definitely don't wanna be fat either.
I genuinely have lots of respect for Chinese culture and society, but I find this trend of infantilisation of women's bodies very weird and disgusting
@fullyrawbutterfly I think it's subjective
@fullyrawbutterfly Agree with only your first statement.
@fullyrawbutterfly Skinnier is not always prettier. If you think that, it's likely because that's been taught to you, whether you're aware of it or not. The fact that you almost exclusively see skinny women as models or celebrities teaches you that it's good/ prettier to be skinny.
Ikr! Those women looks 12 max and they are all adults. Is very weird how they want that every woman be extremely skinny, cute and child-like. I can understand a certain group be like that and aspire that, find that cool, but one, two, three entire countries? Seems really wrong and disgusting to me too.
@fullyrawbutterfly thicc thighs save lives
Chinese celebrities play a role in encouraging this too. And there’s a saying in Chinese that a girl should not weigh more than 50kg (around 100 lbs in Chinese measurement - not the same as actual lbs). Imagine celebrities posting picture of their scale measurement and calling themselves fat at 50kg.
Chinese women are also smaller than western women. Some can be as light as 40kg and be okay
@@GameFuMaster agreed.
It's like this in South Korea too. That's why every kpop idol says they only weigh 90 -100 Ibs/40-45kg. When I lived in Korea, every woman I knew was on a diet even when they were at a healthy weight. Many of my co-workers would say they live off of only an apple and a sweet potato a day. Fatphobia was rampant and EDs were encouraged.
@@kimcheezy3433 better to be more concerned about being overweight than the nonsensical fat acceptance.
yep. this kind of thing is rampant in Japan, South Korea, China, etc. BC of K-pop idols, celebs, internet influencers, etc
Great video it’s too many things in this topic to discuss but beauty standards for women are just so over the top no matter where u go I lived both in the Latin community where I’m from the beauty standard is slim thick but when I lived the USA the standards where to b as thin as possible no butt no hips now the beauty standard in the USA is to b as curvy as possible but only in the right places the point is you can’t win for losing so as she said just love yourself as you are and in someone’s eyes you are the beauty standard but we spend so much time trying to be someone else isn’t it ironic that somebody somewhere looks at you and says wow I wish I had her body her skin her hair her eyes while your wishing u looked like someone else it’s ok to admire other ppls beauty but don’t be so hard on yourselves ladies it took me a long time to realize this too and I’m the happier now the truth is even in countries where u don’t fit the beauty ideal there’s someone who’s not into that specific ideal be your own beauty standard shout out to the ladies in the video for sharing their stories
When i was young, i told a nurse i thought i had an eating disorder (i had Binge Eating Disorder, not something known to the general public in 2005). She looked at me, laughed, and said "honey, you're skinny. Theres no way you have a problem with eating".
I am glad people have come to see the variety of ways in which eating disorders can present. I'll never forget that "professional"'s lack of knowledge. It still maddens me when i remember it. 😑
I was in this situation
I lost 50 pounds in seven to eight months and I almost died in my sleep
It was really scary
I hope everything finds the courage to get help who is suffering from an eating disorder
It’s a constant battle and I choose to live every single day
Thank you for spreading awareness on this topic
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad you're better now ❤
Hoping the best for you ❤️
Life is very precious. Our own health values more than people who judge how we look, they'll keep judging us anyway, so why not look after our own health rather than pleasing those who will never be pleased?
Hope you're doing well
Hope you’re doing ok
power to you
This is so interesting I always thought Asian women were just lucky to be naturally skinny I never realised that there was so much pressure and expectation for them to be that way. I hope the body positivity movement starts to gain traction in China and elsewhere because obsessing over your weight, restricting food, feeling like you are not good enough is a painful state of mind. Body positivity has helped me to start overcoming my own eating disorder that I’ve suffered from for thirty years. I’ve only very recently been able to start learning to love and accept my body and feed and nourish it instead of punishing myself constantly and that’s because of body positivity messaging.
Edit to original message: Since I left this comment I’ve watched a lot of “body positivity” content to where I think I need to stress that when I said “body positivity” I’m more talking about trying to stop hating your body when you’re actually a perfectly healthy weight because you are not a model 0 and trying to stop being dysmorphic in how you view yourself I.e. seeing yourself as fat when you are not but it’s how your mind has been conditioned. I’m not in the least talking about very overweight or obese people suggesting that it wouldn’t be healthier for them to lose weight, that dieting itself is “fat phobia”, that people who are not attracted to obese people are bigots and fat phobic, or that very overweight people can continue to gain weight and it’s all good etc etc. I think that is the “health at any size” and “ fat phobia” ideology. I’m just talking about trying to have a healthier mindset after years of chasing extreme thinness and that some of the ideas that have changed in society have helped me to change this in myself. I used the wrong phraseology unintentionally.
We are naturally thin boned. But I think we'd gain weight like anybody else.
No human is naturally skinny. We all evolved to have an appetite that will make us eat slightly more than we need, in order to store fat that would help us survive a famine. The problem is that doesn't serve us well in affluent parts of the modern world where folks have plenty of food.
All that said, it's true that far east Asians have a smaller bone structure than westerners, particularly those of us from a North Germanic background. For proof, look at the difference in sizes of women's cloths in Holland & Germany vs South Korea or China
Asians aren't really naturally skinny, it's really because of poverty and extreme diets and environments in different countries. + beauty thin standards make it wrap together. Although yes, because most asian people are thin it's very hard to not be self conscious. I came from a not so rich country in Asia who is known to diverse and dive directly and adapt into this kind of beauty standards from other Asian countries so I can say first hand it's bs. Even own country beauty standards are overshadowed by the newly one. What's considered chubby in all other countries in Asia means fat here. It's outrageous. Like there can't be any place to be healthy it's toxic-
I lived in Taiwanfor a year and it was very interesting to see how the body shape of women was influenced by where they lived. In Taipei, the capital, most women were super skinny and I often heard how stressful it is to live there because you need to maintain a certain appearance. The further south and east you got things got more relaxed and you saw a much bigger variety in body shape.
Well...alot of them are thin and some of them are skinny without it being intentional. But it's because the type of food that they eat..(it's much healthier than what Americans eat) and because they move alot. (Here I'm not talking about those who are unhealthy skinny out or pressure or liking themselves that way. I'm talking about the others who aren't. Well,you're right alot of asians and countries like Scandinavia are at a healthy weight. And or are skinny but not unhealthy skinny...and that's because of their diets and how active they are. Or like the Dutch. They're at a healthy weight because they move alot more and eat in moderate amounts. Unlike the US or the UK. So it's not a magical genetic factor as you're imagining. Also diet alone being healthy and in moderate portions is enough to keep you healthy and thin. It's why they seem magically thin to you. If they ate like Americans believe me they're going to be overweight.
Thank you for this lovely video. I'm a white woman and I live in Texas. I've put on quite a bit of weight the past few years and am struggling to lose it and tone up. I wanted to say, that I started started shopping at the online Chinese market in 2015 and I loved the clothing. However, I wanted to sell women's lingerie and undergarments and I had several conversations by chat, about the fact that even your largest clothes were not to be worn by plus sized females in America or other places where women can get quite large. Eventually, I left the idea of the plus sized lingerie and undergarments and started selling jewelry. When I was young, I was very small and could always fit into the tiny clothes, but now I cannot. I remember thinking how tiny the women of your culture are. I did not realize that your Country was also experiencing this now. With all of the fast food and isolation we have faced, it's no wonder. I'm happy that you ladies are working so hard to put the word out about eating disorders and mental illness. I wish you a long and happy future and thank you for caring!
Even though I'm asian I feel great that I never had to go through this . In India our elders will scold us if we don't eat well, being underweight is beautiful is not at all a thing here . I never realised our neighbouring countries have such a thing . God I'm grateful to be an INDIAN, these skinny trends are scary🤯😳😵
Same Bangla British . Only time they would bring weight up is if they were concerned ie obese or the opposite . A bit of fat is no concern to them but they don’t appreciate the gaunt look either. Gaunt look is associated with poverty my mum used to say. And a bit of fat suggests the girl or boy hail from a wealthy family 😂. I think these are indopak beliefs from the villages ;)
@@luluah1198 exactly being little chubby is sign of wealthy family, that's what my family also says 😂😂
As an Asian, elder women telling me all my life to loose weight until the time I was underweight for years made me go through a mental breakdown because I didn't even like being so skinny. I didn't even care how "ugly" I looked to other people, I just lost weight because I thought it was what was expected of me.
listening to old ppl is dangerous. they are clueless and are on mental decline unfortunately.
@@KrazyKrzysztof it is more dangerous that a supposedly "young" person will actually listen so faithfully to an "old" person. What happen to your self judgement? Any person for that matter (young or old) without their own judgement and opinion, or just try to blame other people for their own bad judgement is dangerous to society and the real problem to the world.
@@cancanjaker1620 you dont sound considerate and open-minded about this things.
There's called peer pressure bruh.
and some people in some cultures or countries are imprisoned into this wrong mindset of they should be skinny. Just because you are in control of your own self judgement it means that you should look down on others that havent.
They are forced to rely on old peoples opinions/ can't help but be affected by it.
ex: old mindset relatives who are living with them that ALWAYS reminds them how skinny THEY SHOULD be.
they wanna be accepted by their family and society thats why they conform.
Dont victim blame just because you can't understand.
@@kezimachi4274 It is not victim blame. And as you pointed out, the problem is that they are not in control and allowing them to indulge in blaming society, blaming peers and blaming elderly is just coddling them. If they never look at the real issue, they are just going to be avoiding it for their whole lives. And after spending enough time doing so, they self-justify themselves.
The emphasis on being skinny and beautiful is really extreme in China. The English vs Chinese social media/Internet space really highlight this difference. I got a glimpse of this when browsing through both English forums vs. Chinese forums. For example, people on English forums/blogs (international fans) discussing a Chinese actress are full of praises for her beauty/acting skills, while people on Chinese forums/blogs can be very critical of the figure of the same actress, picking apart every single flaw.
For course, this is just an example. I am sure there are still Chinese fans who are very supportive, but this is a general impression I have on English vs. Chinese sides of the Internet.
which actress was it?
@@bredbred1630 the scenario I listed above was just an example. However, there is one actress that really stood out to me as being treated quite differently by international vs Chinese fans. She’s Shen Yue (FL in dramas like A Love So Beautiful and Meteor Garden). International fans seem to like her, but some Chinese netizens can be quite brutal, saying that she is not skinny enough, too short, too dark-skinned. They also say her looks are ordinary (路人脸）, her head is too big etc etc. It can be quite shocking, the way these netizens analyse and criticise every single flaw.
Disclaimer: I’m not saying ALL Chinese netizens are like that.
I've often been shocked by how toxic East Asian internet forums are compared to everywhere else. Especially towards celebrities. I think it lines up with the serious bullying problems that also exist in those countries. Lots of younger people feel repressed and use the internet to lash out against others to feel better about themselves. I feel bad for the level-headed netizens that have to deal with that loud minority.
@@skittleyrealm2795 i had no idea that it was happening since meteor garden is so popular. it's not surprising in a way. i'm going to assume that you're also chinese like me but due to the heavy critizing of the older generations who shame others harshly, this passes on a toxic mindset for the next generations. this is speaking from personal experience, as family "friends" often comment on how your appearance so it's no wonder people are so obsessed with looking beautiful. it's considered normal to do so as well. it's just this never ending loop of either people projecting or not even knowing how painful their comments are because they're so used to these high beauty standards. everyone's just mimicing their elders, looking down at the smallest things and criticizing the shit out of it
It's so sad that just the word 'fat' can have such a negative impact, and I really felt it as a European working in China. I could never and would never want to fit the Chinese beauty standards - I'm proud of my curves! The primary school kids I taught would openly call me fat though, or poke my belly, and seemed to think it was perfectly okay to treat an adult like that. Other foreign co-workers had very similar stories. I always tried to teach the kids about respect but when the 'uncles' and 'aunties' are setting bad examples by approaching perfectly healthy strangers in the street with such awful comments about losing weight, then it's no wonder the younger generations think it's okay to body shame too. :(
Very well directed, this was super insightful
Meanwhile in India, some old people feel like being fat is a symbol of prosperity 😂
Because we were always skinny due to famines and poverty created by the colonialists.....
Except the youth thinks the opposite ofc now....
no I don't believe the Indian youth is promoting skinny bodies as a beauty standard. in fact, more and more youth are understanding the importance of fitness and developing muscle from a young age nowadays. being muscular and fit is not the same ass being brittle boned and skinny.
Now it's the opposite in most countries because it's easier to get fat from the abundance of processed food
@@aayushchahal2730 yea, indian celebs/influencers looks way more healthy than celebs in east asian country. And indian food are very nutritious i want to try cooking the paneer with pea soup (forgot its name)
It was the same with China over 2500 years ago during the Tang Empire. At that time, being fat was considered a beauty standard because they thought that fat woman could give birth easier than skinny ones.
@@sr969 jdndjdmd you meant paneer matar ?
As an Indian, I can understand some of the comments saying this culture is seeping into India but I'm glad that for the most part, our elders advice us to eat or feed when we feel like we need to be thinner. And people are generally more accepting of figures. As someone who would probably look fat in East Asia, I'm glad here I'm considered the ideal body sizing just based on being healthy. Let's Love whatever we look like!
I think its all about maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle rather than how a person look, I am a male japanese Australian man and have always been skinny all my life and I traveled to India a lot during my younger days and every Indian people that I met always commented on how skinny I am and I should eat more ha ha ha . I think the japanese diet are very well balanced and its very hard for an average Japanese to gain excessive weight if they maintain a healthy japanese diet, my kids is borned and raised in Australia and expose to a western diet and they started to gain a lot of weight and became obese and I started to worry and make plan to change their diet to a more balanced japanese diet and they start to loose weight and maintain a healthy acceptable asian weight. in Japan there is a saying being lean is especially when you are older is a blessings cause most health problems of this modern world like heart attack, stroke, diabetes are all related to a unhealthy diet. being healthy is more important than how a person looks and we should stop body shame anyone.
Your South Asian family sounds incredibly wholesome. Sadly, not all of us had that privilege, because I literally went a loved one’s home and got eviscerated in front of guests for 15 minutes straight. Then they wondered why I was barely eating any of the food. Desi aunties and uncles are VICIOUS 😂😂😂 I wish more families could be as accepting as your elders 🥺🥺🥺
@@meerxr I mean at least they were telling you to eat. I think most south Asians want their kids to be at a healthy weight and eat healthy, and not starve themselves. In South Asia for the most part being curvy is still considered beautiful compared to being stick thin however their idea of curvy can be toxic too but at least no one told us to not eat as much
@@kanamenoname210 beauty standards somehow seek to make everyone feel insecure about themselves. How else could you sell someone something to “ward off their insecurities”?
Example: “Fair and Lovely” for colourism. Teatox for weight. So much more.
@@meerxr I mean yeah beauty standards are all about that. That wasn't the point of the comment though. We were rarely if ever told to not eat in South Asia, at least for the most part. That's not saying there aren't other toxic practices but body image issues vs colorism are two very different things and two very different topics.
Also teatox is something the Kardashians have promoted in the past, for much of other Indian who were at a healthy weight it was usually do yoga, eat fruits, portion control etc. It was never to just stop eating for 24 hours like many east Asian diet trends are promoting
my sister destroyed her body with her eating disorder growing up, she ruined her kidneys and my family fell apart when all this happened, we all focused on helping her get better because she was killing herself. i don’t understand how a whole country could be so lost in disordered eating to not even see the way they’re all destroying their lives and bodies
I’m Hispanic and An Asian guy who was trying to date me mentioned something about weight while we were eating (I ordered food, he ordered chips and salsa) he spoke about how he doesn’t like eating a lot and how he doesn’t like having fat on him as I sat there eating a huge meal 😂 I kinda felt that he was directing things at me but then I had to tell him that in my culture, it’s not good to be skinny and that if I get skinny it’s not attractive. He was shocked lol I said “yeah they call skinny girls ‘seca ‘ which means dry. Lol I said “if I were skinny I wouldn’t have my curves” lol and he said “oh.. yeah I like your curves” showed him a new world 😉
My respect to Cindy and all other members of the girl group named "SunShine", they really delivered a message to the Chinese public and criticized the standard definition of "beauty".
I read articles about them years ago when they first surfaced. I've never heard their music but I remember Cindy's face. She's got attitude and she's very pretty both when she was slightly chubby and now when she's thin.
Yep, Kim Kardashian is the real definition of "beauty" (or should i say "booty"?). Yall trippin, your own beauty standard is grotesque.
How about we just stop being obsessed with beauty of women and girls at all. So many male artists look ugly af but worshipped over their talents and no one will tell them “you’re just beautiful the way you are”. Women can be not beautiful and that shouldn’t even matter because women are human with qualities other than beauty.
I had experienced an eating disorder when I was around 10 -14 years old. I'm not sure until now if it ever goes under the word on 'disorder' itself. But I was secretly not eating my lunch at school and I barely ate a proper breakfast and dinner, using a saucer to measure the amount of rice and side dishes I could fit in to eat. There were several 'snack time' at school where even though at first my body was craving for the routine of eating something. I simply took that as a good sign to starve myself.
Sometimes when the hunger was unbearable, I simple bought bread and a hot beverage or sugary snacks to subside the growling of my stomach. It went on for months until rashes started showing up on my skin, little red dots where I found out to be a mild case of yeast infection. Yes, my body immune system was at the weak point where even a yeast infection could affect me.
My body also became dependent on sugar because I was not eating on a balanced diet and I was often tired and sluggish if I were not to eat one. But, I got what I wanted, I was really thin around 33 kg for my height. My BMI says underweight but my naivety screams great!
I don't remember merely one particular reason as to why I did it. There were several, I think. My peers were doing it, some had already shed their 'baby fat', insecurity and hormonal teens mocked 'jiggly girls', the things I saw on social media etc. etc. Social media did brought a heavier weight for that determination to be thin. It was around the popularity of the Hallyu wave in k-pop.
Now, I wasn't an extreme fan of k-pop even before, I wasn't a fanatic to even one idol. But their popularity and 'image' of thin girls were admired and followed which indirectly caused me to be insecure of my 'fats'. I can't tell you how haunted I was of my belly fat whenever we did PE and it 'jiggles' somewhat. It's just not a healthy outlook overall.
My take on this video is that I closely relate to the chinese trend of being thin, as I call it, "BONE THIN" or the 'tim burton thin' because it's the extreme kind that is not only unhealthy but horrifying to look at as well. This mentality or preference is scary. Especially for the cause of 'mass validation'. It will scar you. And for what means?
I can't end this (long) comment with a positive note. Just that this problem affects all of us, like a mentality plague that is hard to shake off. Women will still fall under this trap, just as how 'fat activism' goes on the west. Recognizing it is just the start of this 'far on the horizon' cure.
@@flora7447 Yep, they really skew what it means to be slim and looking good. I'm appalled that average looking young women feel the need to lose a miniscule number of kilograms like 3kg... I have to lose 30kg and even then I still have belly fat (looking average by western standards).
Korean celebrities look awesome though, it's just their society that is whacked about insane beauty standards.
So strange that people mock "baby fat". I think feminine fat deposits, especially in cheeks, is what makes a woman attractive. I'm totally not into V-shaped faces with flat cheeks...
I have lost 25kg and then gained 15kg but now I started to think that even if I achieve "the ideal body", I'm still going to date exactly the same type of women that didn't mind if I'm big, so I better just stay fat 😂😂
I grew up in the west, very interested in different cultures. I must say Ive been shocked with the extreme level of thinness that's considered normal in east Asia. Seeing girls who would qualify as close to Ed thin being lifted up as examples. I do enjoy wearing kids tee-shirts as wee crop tops, but I'm a size 10ish on the bottom, and I just like the cute patterns etc on the kids stuff. Brandy Melville is an insane brand, the owner is racist, and that's beyond the obvious problem that he's essentially created the real world "1 3 5" from mean girls, except it's more like "1". Those weibo "challenges" echo the desires expressed on a pro-ana message board. I'm shocked with how different the sentiment is between parts of the world. I'm Polynesian so I grew up being called skinny my whole life, it's crazy how each culture has their own ideas...but when these ideals become dangerous, it's definitely time to reevaluate
How old are you now? Isn't a positive note that you have recovered from your eating disorder? Or are you not better yet?
Also I would like to add that a lot of bots/men also suffer from these problems but are less likely to get noticed, particularly in teens because people use the excuse of they are just growing.
So true but I didn't know it was an eating disorder until ninth grade because everything plummeted that year due to covid and no outdoor exercise
I’m japanese but moved to usa as a kid then moved back as a late teen. I had been obese as a child (300lbs - 137kg) then lost weight before going back to japan and was about 180lbs / 82kg. I developed anorexia then bulimia and got down (the last i checked so maybe lower) to 98lbs / 44.5kg. I’m 5’5” (168cm). Everyone said I was so skinny and pale and his jealous they were of me. Only my close friends were worried with how pale i had gotten and how much they could see my veins. Where everyone was so jealous, only a few people genuinely worried about me. I started getting better by myself (because hospitals were not interested in helping mental health patients) and weight and have a fairly healthy relationship with good, but it’s still so hard to not go back to that lifestyle of wanting to be skinny. It was like my personality. My entire life revolved around it. It seems almost empty without it, but i know i am healthier now than i was.
I didn't have an eating disorder but rapidly lost weight due to bullying at work. I lost 40 lbs (18 kg) in two months. My body looked like a skeleton. I was shocked when people suddenly told me I was beautiful. Yes, my new, small clothes looked great on me. But I was ill. My doctor sent me for cancer tests at the hospital. Finally, he diagnosed anxiety and depression from my work situation. I left that work place and it took three years, but I'm well now. Identify your stress--why you stop eating--and deal with it, if you can. Seek medical help, too. You deserve to be healthy. One more thing: As I began gaining weight to a normal, healthy body, I suddenly wondered: Wait, when (at what weight) did I pass the "perfect" weight? I must have passed it at some point. But I realized, women are never allowed to feel we are "perfect".
I live in Hong Kong now for work, and I get self conscious every single day. I was around 100lb (I'm 5'0") when I first started working, but I frequently get stressed from work and would stress eat. This would continue until I stress-ate myself to 118lb within one year and I felt so depressed.
One day, an old coworker who knew me when I first started working at my company (when I was 100lb) saw me at the office when I was at 118lb. The first thing he commented was not "long time no see" or "how are you". It was "whoa, you got super fat. You literally look like a ball". I was appalled. How could someone say that blatantly to my face.
Such a rude person. I’m sorry you have to be surrounded by people like that. You are amazing and beautiful and I am proud of you for who you are
What that's rude!
Not rude. He worry about your health.
Start Exercising fatty.
I would literally love to be even 118. The last time I was that thin was in highschool.
this is insane bc 118 is literally a regular, healthy weight ):
13:56 her idea and definition of acceptance is perfect. You don't need to see yourself as perfect to love yourself. Just embrace your strengths, acknowledge your weaknesses and either strive to improve these weaknesses (if it's possible and that is what makes you happy) or just learn to move past things that you simply cannot change.
While I didn't have a severe eating disorder it was enough to the point till I didn't recognize it until a few minutes ago. During covid, More like when it first started. I was skinny you know ideal body type. I took dance classes and also did gymnastics etc. It kept me in shape and I never really cared to work out and eat healthily. So now I'm in the middle of covid eating junk food and eating out almost every week. After a while, I notice I'm gaining weight. Every single day since I noticed even now, I squeezed and poked at my fat just thinking about how embarrassing it is. I kept eating so much I wouldn't get hungry till dinner time then the next morning I would be starving then overeat again. This summer I have been making the effort to lose weight. For a few months, I kept looping around, losing and regaining the weight. I had to learn discipline. My highest weight is 153 pounds and now I'm at 144.8 on an empty stomach. It isn't easy but I'm happy with my results so far, it does take time so to the other people out there reading my comment and also trying to lose weight, don't rush it. I used to do extreme workouts and other stuff to lose weight but it didn't work. I try my best to eat properly so I won't get super hungry later than overeat.
I found a website similar to this: www.medicinenet.com/8_ways_to_think_like_a_thin_person/article.htm
It does help and small tip: Green tea helps break down food.
I am in US. I will never forget that Chinese boy laughed at me in front of everyone, “Look how big and fat you are, look at how slim she is (another girl).” It really destroyed a 13 year old girl. I was very normal in terms of weight at that age. Well many people thought it’s stupid to care about their criticism, but a young girl… just… Sign. Idk, just that one sentence really altered my life as a teenager.
I definitely noticed that being very thin is 'in' right now for Gen Z everywhere not just in Asia and I am scared for them 😢. I am a younger millennial and I remember that awful time in the mid-2000s where all woman in the magazines were extremely thin like Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, and Lindsey Lohan. I was an extremely impressionable 14 year old and I became obsessed with having a thigh gap. I dieted hard core, barely ate, everyone was saying I lost so much weight and I even reached my target weight.. but sadly no thigh gap. So, I kept going until one day I realized what I was doing was very dangerous and I managed to stop. I was lucky because I already knew about eating disorders and body dysmorphia so I knew I was going down a dangerous path. ED are no joke... some people literally take decades to recover. ☹️My weight has flunctated since then but mostly due to just living life. I no longer believe in dieting. I only eat in a way that I know I can sustain for the rest of my life. That means no counting calories, no restricting food groups, no skipping meals. The best thing that always works for me is to cook my own food as much as possible, eat lots of veggies and fruits, not eating unhealthy snacks regularly (I don't buy them to consume everyday but I will have them at parties or the movies etc) and drink a lot of water. This is a diet that I can easily follow for the rest of my life and it's not really restrictive. Anyways, let's all learn how to be kinder to our bodies. ❤️🙏🏾
Although, I recovered and I am fine now, I still absolutely despise when people comment on my weight whether in a good or bad way. I lost weight a few years ago due to being a poor student, stressed, and very busy. When people asked me what was my secret I simply said "being poor and having to ration my food". It made people uncomfortable but that's why they should mind their own business. 🙃 As a general rule of thumb, I never ever comment on someone's weight even if there is a noticeable change because you simply never know under what circumstances these changes happened.
Thank you for sharing your story! Im happy for you because you quickly recovered from the problems and with this you have not just encouraged me to look out for my health and not for whats trending to look like, but so many others as well!
I understand what youre saying and I understand your experience personally, however we need to acknowledge that some of this was our own mind. Just having someone on the cover of a magazine isnt the issue. If all it took was seeing naturally thin people like paris hilton to do all that then something else was an issue way before. whether is was outside pressure from childhood, not supportive enough emotionally parents, bullying etc. But those people just thin and existing is not responsible for how YOU acted. The culture of needing to not be a natural size is of course an issue but I hate when people use the oh well I saw girls like Paris and Lindsey etc. and wanted to be like them so I did this. No, they are naturally that size and still are. Some people are that lucky. But them existing or being famous isnt the issue. It was the education part and lack of personal support. I am sure if you actually analyze things in your life you will find way more instances of why you struggled. My personal issues with ED looking back was stemmed from self confidence issues in general starting at a young age, as well as being praised as a child for being so tiny. Also things like watching our mothers or sisters also struggle with weight and dieting growing up, or lack of nutritional education and either full access to whatever we wanted to eat 24/7 or the opposite of extremely strict diets by parents can cause issues. A picture of a model isnt what psychologically what affected you. It is deeper and forms mostly in childhood by accumulating factors.
@@user-ci4qq1om4o Do you not realize … the skinny body beauty standard is enforced through society through media, expectation and reward. If companies only glorify and promote skinny women, and movies/tv shows only value skinny women, what do you think that does to underage people who see that. What do you think happens when those kids grow up and inflict that onto their children. It’s a cycle that stems from all of society, not just the beauty industry. So no, it’s the model herself but the entire industry + society who built that standard.
@@CrystalRose1111 Why wouldn't beautiful girls be rewarded? If youre not that girl then youre not that girl it's a you problem if you decided to go bulimic because a girl got attention for being pretty.
I currently live in China and it's been almost 10 years. Back in my country, my body is definitely not a beauty standard (I'm 178cm/55kg), I've always been laughed at and I heard all the mean comparisons, therefore I developed a body dysmorphia. I tried to gain weight but couldn't because it's hereditary. When I came to China, I always get praise because of my body, and everyone tells me they wish they had my body, and I couldn't see that because I feel I'm underweight and I struggle with low self-esteem. But the only message I send to my Chinese friends: your body is so beautiful, it keeps you alive, so don't listen to what others say because it will affect you in the long run.
it’s not heredity you cant defy the laws of thermodynamics ; eat 3k calories to start and increase if it stalls
Gain appetite by exercising and eat and drink calorie dense foods. No one is genetically predetermined to be underweight.
@@ambercui8030 It is hereditary because even though she intakes 3000 calories her body burns 3000 calories a day. Hence no weight is gained. The difference with you is you eat 3,000 calories and only burn a few hundred. That's the difference between having a fast metabolism and a slow one.
@Zenith Ok. So please explain to a thin 45 year old person who's never been overweight how metabolism works?
As long as you're healthy, your weight shouldn't be a problem.
Loved it! Well done thank you
I find that even Asian men in the entertainment industry like actors are soo thin. Really very different from western actors. Wang Yibo literally said he likes to be thin because it's "more photogenic".
as a person who has ed, & now in a "normal" cycle, eating it's the only thing that i can control into my life. people should also know & be aware that eating disorders are very extensive and it's just not about being thin.
Right... I feel like the more unequal and grossly wealthy a country's elite becomes, the more it feels like people must control everything in their life that they can to have any hope of keeping up socially. This probably exacerbate eating disorders, as well as as sexism which values women only for their looks and labor in a caregiving role.
@@Iquey i think people like me, i know & i'm heavily aware because i have one even if i am undiagnosed, is also influenced by social media. the pressure to look good being really slim or even having a rock solid abs with no signs of fat in someone's body, it will really affect the way you see yourself.
but you're probably right too it connects to the society / the "elite" members of a country and also sexism. also i think it correlates to the economy of a country when the pandemic didn't happen i wasn't even nitpicking or criticizing myself or what i eat, it definitely triggered it.
@Alex Korova nah, I think ED is a mental illness, I still have underlying issues. it just doesn't go away easily. whether i like it or not, but the only solution to it is if I go & seek help or help myself
also I agree about what you've said that ED is look upon on health issues, someone like me who had experienced immensely sharp pain on my heart (like a dagger being stabbed) it's not pretty I was scared for my health ofc bc I know what I'm doing is not worth the risk I wanted to end myself *bc I was depressed* but I'm not suicidal enough, and I don't want to die slowly
I wanted to continue on surviving.
what I'm doing w my mental health & my body was really I wake up call. people who assumed ED is targeted for teenage girls well not Im even a teenager anymore & yet I've experienced this
Eating disorders absolutely are addictions. They might start as a diet or an exercise regimen, but it soon becomes an addiction, a way to have something to think abt that makes you feel like you're being "good" and distracts you from wverything else in your life that feels overwhelming, upsetting, etc
this is so try but thank God it never happened to me, i remember i wanted to loose what so badly because i wanted to model and i would some days eat so little. i still want to loose weight but idrc anymore
Absolutely. Which is why its a serious mental disorder and while its one of the leading causes of dea_hs amongst teenage girls its sadly still not taken serious enough by many people. In german its quite literally called „skinny-addiction“ (magersucht).
this comment hits home. i never got to a point of hospitalization but my period was always irregular/would skip for many many months at a time because I would use restrictive eating as a way to cope with how overwhelming and depressing life was. it made me feel like i had achieved something if i didnt eat for a whole day or three days and it was never soley about looking good (though the thought creeps up a lot). Even if i didn't have any energy to do anything I would tell myself "at least I didn't eat today so good job!" or "no calories burned but also no calories gained is good" and it was a sick cycle.
another important thing was who I surrounded myself with. my girlfriend at the time was italian and very obsessed with losing weight and id hear everyday how much she hated her body or she weighed 2kg lighter than yesterday so shes happier and besides making me uncomfortable it also made my own negative eating habits worse. it wasnt until we broke up and i met someone new who loved cooking and eating and going for walks that i realized starving yourself doesnt make you a more successful or better person, or a more beautiful one.
you described it perfectly
If I have three meals a day then the next I will have that feeling of hunger when I'm hungry. But there are days when I don't eat anything and as days goes by I stop feeling hungry, so I always forget to eat.
It's all over Asia, I am not Chinese, I left Asia, but I am still suffering from this body image issue. I did not see my mother for almost 3 years the first thing she mentioned when she saw me was my weight, and she didn't even think that's a problem.
A lot of asian women talk about diet like it's normal when in reality their so-called diet is full on eating disorder, but I shit you not, they think it's GREAT, they think it shows great discipline and determination, they admire that, and if you eat just normally, you are frown upon.
Growing up in Florida I was made fun of for my pale skin. People often told me I should “go to the beach Casper” or “you should try tanning beds.” - I didn’t even know I was pale before high school. It never crossed my mind to wonder about my skin color. Then I moved to Japan at 25 and girls asked me how I got my skin so white. 😮 I had to laugh. I have a somewhat larger, (US size 10) frame and larger feet (10US) and 34D bra and I could never find shoes or bras in Japan that fit me unless I squeezed painfully into them. I’m kinda curvy and i’ll likely never be skinny or tan, but that’s ok. I’ll be the curvy-ish pale girl wearing Asian fashion. Maybe i’m easier to spot this way. 😛 🎉Ps. I’m about to be 40 and I love my pale skin so much now because it makes me stand out in America. 😉
-Being skinny in China(Asia) is beauty standard(Leads to starving oneself and eating disorders)
-Being slim thick is the beauty standard in the western world. (Leads to BBL, and other surgeries)
You don't need to get surgery to be "thick", you can go to the gym and workout. BBL's are for the lazy people
I have found myself surrounded by BBLs. I keep telling women I know who have been saving up how dangerous they are. They’re just as dangerous as getting open heart surgery.
@@lexlovie4970 and the crusty man they are getting the BBL for is still going to cheat on them with a woman shaped like a refrigerator
so true.. there are so many BBLs, boob jobs, and even lower rib extraction (to make an hour glass figure).
its really sad. everyone needs to stop commenting on peoples body types.
if its not a compliment, keep it to yourself.
I am so proud of all these women here!
Accepting yourself in a society that tells you, that you are never enough is a milestone and shows how strong they are.
I'm so happy for them!
6:50 this made me tear up 😢😢
I really hope perspectives will change. Glad there are videos about this problem.
Im SE asian and struggling with beauty standard in asia too. Im not fair-skinned, so the only thing i can do is to lose weight. I went from 58kg to 42kg in just a few months during quarantine. Everyone was surprised when they see me for the first time and thought i was sick. Im worried that i might start developing some sort of ED. Thank you for reminding me that being skinny isnt everything.
This makes me sad. I hope you realize your health is so much more important than what others say or think.
Brown is beautiful!
how old are you? 42 kg for anyone over 12 is all the way into anorexia territory. do you still eat proper meals?
@@pay1370 uhh not really. everyone has different builts and heights so it doesn't depend on age.
@@iamnotok_ i asked her age because the only way for 42 to be normal is if she was a teen that is not fully grown yet.
I remember watching Cindy and her group during their short time on Produce 101, makes me feel so sad hearing that she was going through so much during that time. They were a really talented group and I wanted them to stay.
same!
But cindy she was fat, how is good
I was hospitalized in Shanghai due to anorexia as well. I'm literally about to cry watching this.
The “WHAT!” at the beginning made me spit my drink out 😂😂😂
The last statement about being beautiful is being comfortable with yourself hits me hard. From elementary school I always feel fat and develop some kind of diet, even tho I was still 8 yo. At junior high school I keep feeling that I'm the fattest and always looking at my body on the mirror, pinching my flabby parts and imagining that it will be gone. At high school it was the same, I feel so fat. Then now, in last year of college, I look back my photos from all of those years. I was skinny, skinnier enough comparing to my current state. Then I remember that a few people told me that I had athletic body, yet I didn't believe it. And now I'm just slapped with how the reality works. I wasn't fat, I just didn't accept myself at all, and that made me feel dissatisfied all the time no matter how much I eat or how much I workout. Now, I'm being chubbier yet I feel contempt, as long as I'm physically active and healthy. It's really rooting from yourself mentally before doing something physically, to acknowledge your body positively.
To be honest, it's becoming a struggle for me as well. I'm not yet on that path, but I want to wear clothes and usually they look better on slimmer bodies. I'm practical and active enough that I know it won't benefit me ( and I love eating lol). Also, I want to pursue Muay Thai but reluctant bc I might become short and bulky and that really doesn't look good.
In the end, it's best to be healthy that you're functional rather than look good in clothes but have difficulty doing yhings
The truth is is you are female and work out a lot, you will name likely become bulky. Even men don't become bulky unless they eat more protein to compensate for the muscle training and repair those muscles. The muscles cannot come from nothing.
We have: genetics and metabolism influencing us. Besides, if we all would look the same it would be weird 🙈🙈🤣🤣
I am from part Tatar and part Bulgarian families.. short, thin waist big b*t style. But you know what? My short legs take me on mountains faster than you might think 🙈🙃😍🤩 I am 42 and from that point where I wanted to look thin and hot most my life, let me tell you: there are always parteners attracted of you just like you are and where you see faults in yourself, friends and parteners will see beauty. Being healthy and happy is the key. We are on Earth to be happy, not to give a rat's ass abt what others might think. Just live your life and shine! Stay healthy and enjoy the ride! 😍😍🤗🤗 Free your mind, girl! Life is beautiful!
Duuuude you should totally do Muay Thai if you want to do it! I used to be really scared of gaining muscle too, thinking I’d be short and bulky as well… but having muscle burns more fat, so I’m actually way more toned now than before and even though I weigh more I look much healthier, stronger, and have less body fat than before. Don’t let that be a deterrent for you! The other thing that shifted my mindset a bit was finding the areas of social media “influencers” that were more practical comparisons to myself - e.g. gymshark community etc…. I’ll never be tall and skinny like a model because my body type is short and athletic. But I CAN look at Instagram feeds of fitness influencers and whatnot and not feel so bad about myself after all. 😊
I’m learning that my idea of what body types look good in clothes is pretty much directed by social media. I have struggled with body dysmorphia since I was 13, and am 25 now. When I see someone on the streets or at my work who has a thicker figure who is wearing tight fitting clothing, mini skirts or crop tops, my old mindset would say they don’t look good, why would they wear that? And Im trying to retrain my brain that they do look beautiful. They really do. And so do I and so would you if you wore the clothes you like. I commend the younger gen that wears whatever the fuck they want! One thing that has been helping me lately is watching people on TH-cam show paparazzi pics of influencers. It’s all posed, airbrushed, and edited. Supermodels have cellulite. Tik tokers have pot belly’s. Once most women reach 20 they gain weight, there’s a whole world of real women out there and that’s what we need to be appreciating. Not a fake image in our head constructed from scrolling through edited women.
A quick point about the clothes for anyone who feels unattractive in off the rack modern clothing - there's a good chance it's not your weight that's causing the clothes to look bad. The reason clothes only look good on specific body types has a lot to do with cheap unforgiving fabrics, and clothing manufacturers wanting to use standard block sizes covering widest range of human bodies, which is actually not a very wide range at all. Humans come in a huge variety of shapes and proportions and even your posture can affect how one area of a garment fits compared to the rest.
I think a lot of people are so focused on weight they don't always fully appreciate that even for slim people if the waist/bust/shoulders is hitting you in the wrong place the clothes will hang weird, wrinkle bulge look bad etc in an unflattering way that often casual dressers (who have already been conditioned to believe their body fat is a flaw) will just put down to their weight. Look at maternity wear for example; if you were someone with a pregnant belly shopping in the regular section you'd probably look quite wrong even in the largest sizes, not because you're too fat but because the proportions have been designed for a different body to yours
As a short person with longer than average, slightly asymmetric torso I can tell you that losing weight was of small benefit to my ability to dress elegantly compared to learning to make and alter garments myself. I'm glad there are a growing number of plus size models/influencers proving that fat bodies are just as gorgeous when wearing clothing actually designed for them, but sadly for the average person it is very difficult to find clothing like this for an affordable price
I don't know if that makes you feel any better if your goal is still to look good in those clothes...but it helped me to learn this and I hope it will help someone else stop beating themselves up so much
I say keep eating what you love! It's our clothes' job to fit us, not the other way around! And definitely do the muay thai ... whatever that is. Having bigger muscles never makes anyone look worse!
I love the energy of the dance teacher lady, you can really feel it how much she loves what she does and that kinda energy is so invigorating and inspiring! She makes me wanna dance too
I needed this
This is all about the environment, whenever I'm with my family in Colombia I feel beautiful with my curvy body, whenever I'm back in England, I feel fat and ugly and cover-up as many body parts as possible. In Colombia I'm happy to wear shorts and short-sleeved shirts, in England I hate my legs and arms the most. It sucks, but realising that it's not my issue but society's issue helps me just to focus on my health and a good diet and be happy with the results as long as I'm at a healthy weight/BMI.
Similar story here. In my native country, I am considered fat. The archetypal French beauty is rather androgynous, skinny, flat chested, long legs, thigh gap, no belly. There is so much pressure on women in the "country of fashion" as they say there. A lot of narcissism in that idea. Ideal size is an xs/s size and Im an L, after having naturally been an xs/s for years. Where I live, I am. considered normal. The thing is when I was thin, I received so many critics as well in my native country. It is paradoxal.
@@TheRhetoricRoom Weight in France is honestly a nightmare. Everyone is so thin and it just creates self perpetuating cycle. A therapist that a member of my family was seeing said that they had an astronomical amount of anorexic/people with eating disorders from the school I was going to. And two people I'm close to that go there are anorexic. It's absolutely dreadful, children should not have to deal with deadly beauty standards, in fact, no one should.
@@captin-ds6xj It is a nightmare. A lot of girls and women learn how to make themselves vomit and take laxatives. When I see videos and read articles about "how French women stay skinny?" or "what is the French women's secret?", the given solutions and tips are mostly bull. I was born there, grew up there and spend the majort part of my life there and I know that the real secrets are what I just wrote about + not eating or eating kids portions.
Style is also a thing. People, especially in small to middle sized towns, dress the same inside of their social class groups. It is weird. If you are different, people stare at you or even make loud mocking comments. They all dress similarly. Clothes are cut in a way that if you have a bigger bust and hips, it doesn't fit or fits weirdly.
All sorts of diets circulate among women. My mom made them all and was also making herself vomit.
For celebs, it is the same pressure. Magazines are so mean towards women's bodies. The press is awful. Yet they will show you a frail celeb whose ribs are unnaturally showing and write how radiant they look.
Because France is also, among other countries , a country that celebratrs gastronomy, you are surrounded by food 24/7 and encouraged to eat it while being encouraged to look like a woman/child and stay skinny.
@@captin-ds6xj I agree, no one should deal with this. No one.
@@captin-ds6xj americans romanticize "how do french women stay so skinny" the answer is eating disorders and cigarettes 🤧
I personally love to train my muscles and I'm naturally on the curvier side... I always felt like I wasn't good enough for the Asian countries. Always felt really fat. But when I moved to Canada.. the attention I received was surprising to say the least. It's not about you, just about the stupid beauty standards of different places.
On the other side of things, I've seen so many skinny girls being made fun of on western social media, things like they have no butt and stuff. We girls just can't catch a break sheesh.
Just learn to love yourself and as long as you're healthy, you are good 👍🏻
Im from Russia and suffering from the disorder. From childhood i was shamed by People and now I even can't watch myself in the mirror. It's sad that People Who ashamed me Will never apologize or understand that I was hurt a lot and end with depression and suicide stuff.
Glad, that other Girls starts to share their unperfect stories - I feel better to watch or hear it.
I wish to future be kind and free from stereotypes.
P.S actually, when was a moment that People call Girls band ugly - I was in shock. Girls was so cute and so cool and stay being that!
It's nice to see they've recovered. I lose my appetite from stress and know how it can make you fatigued; I can't imagine from this. Glad to see them doing well.
In school i was always considered as fat girl.. TBH yes i weighed more than others but my BMI was completely normal(nearly 23).. I was taller than others but little chubby.. Students used to tease me calling names like bulldozer, bull etc🙂. My sister was the one who said you are completely normal and healthy.. After getting into college i somehow lost my all weight, to the point i was literally skin and bones.. i never went to gym and went to diet in my whole life but it was because of stress and studies.. when i met my school mates they said you looked much more better in school.. like there was no end.. but at that point I realised even you loose your weight you can't satisfy anyone.. I knew my weight is not at all unhealthy but still i do have insecurities about my body.. but slowly i am starting to feel more confident and doing some experiments with my fashion ❤❤
You go girl!!! ❤️
@@yeparkie8289 🥺❤️