As a person who has counseled many patients and also many friends in the emergency room Department oh, I can tell you that when people put a bottle into their rectum they would normally do it with the neck first. It's really extremely rare to have the large end first. Not to mention if he was out in the field he could have used a cucumber or a carrot. I do believe that the Muslims did do this and I do think it's really sad that if he was a victim that people are taunting him even after his death. May God have mercy on everyone's soul
to be fair, i am actually terrified of accidently getting something stuck up there by falling on it because it doesnt matter how you go about it, people will always think you put it up there on purpose.
As an RN, once had a patient that had "accidentally sat down" on a red delicious apple, which had inadvertently got lodged in his lower colon. After not being able to expel the apple with laxatives and starting to have severe intestinal pain, he came to the ER, where it was unable to be removed necessitating him to go to surgery. Mind you, this was not a small apple, but one 4 inches wide. While this incident did not lead to genocidal warfare, it did cause the patient to require a colon resection with a temporary colostomy that was reversed several months later. Lesson learned: don't sit down around fruit without undergarments on or alternatively, don't stick things up your back side that don't belong there.
I once had a C3-PO action figure lodged up my ass. In my defense, I was a little kid, and playing in the tub. I dont remember it happening, but from what my mom told me, I slipped while playing in the tub and up he went.
easy test tell me which one of these does something for you? [flashes a series of photos] fat woman slender with fat thighs woman slim athletic woman naked woman fat man chunky but slim man muscular man naked man guaranteed you'll find out what someone is real quick.... ca we go back to the naked woman one?
My bisexual ass getting aroused with each one except the fatties. I'd think I'm scot free until I get diagnosed with fat phobia and send to progressive reeducation camp
@@judgedrekk2981 I would fail, not because I am gay but would be frantically looking for horny single MILFs over 40 in my area that are conspicuously not listed in any of the mentioned photos and would create false positives in my search.
If Juicy Smullet would have done the broken bottle in bum instead of subway and a bleaching, he would have still been a liar, but it would have been more interesting.
This sounds like he was the first Jussie, long before Jussie came along. Blaming something on a hate crime. Juicy can't even do anything original. LOL.
I had a friend who was a nurse and she told me that a guy had come in that day with a sauce bottle up his rectum. He's apparently been climbing on the table (nude) to change a lightbulb, slipped on the table and the sauce bottle had gotten lodged up there. After the doctors had been able to free it from up there one of them asked how it happened again. He told them the same thing, he was on the table, slipped and sat on the sauce bottle. The doctor said "o.k, but that doesn't explain why the bottle has a condom on it."
@@KingFluffs Maybe this is joke, but people coming to dr. with all kind of objects in their ass. (mainly bottles). I know this first hand because my gf is nurse for a long time and they had a lot of cases like this. Usually guys having fun get carried away, but there also other side of coin. There is hatred and aggression from one part of Serbian population especially toward male gays. So I wouldn't be surprised if many of those cases actually someone did to this men as part of retribution. Especially case described in video. That can't be self inflicted , no way. But Dankula somehow thinks that is case. I guess that is because he have some hate toword Serbs.
The best excuse I heard was off one of these tv shows where they ask doctors what the weirdest objects you’ve had to remove. The doctor said that a male came into the hospital and had a shampoo bottle stuck in his bottom and the male said something like he bent over and farted and the backdraft created a suction and sucked the shampoo bottle in.
@@chickenlover657 your sentence (in the presence of the Albanian police) makes no sense the one who interrogated him was Serbian ..and not only that but the secret services, the army ect ect that are involved were Serbs....we're talking about the 80's you forgot it?? kosovo gained independence in 2008
@@lagjescuni5482 Nah, I don't think you know what happened, but I'm bored of this topic so you can continue to believe whatever silly story you prefer.
I had a yugoslavian employee once, best worker ive EVER worked with. He loved america greatly, but was clearly broken hearted for his country. It was really sad to hear his stories
I have a Yugoslavian friend. She told me she arrived in Australia with $10! I believe her, i've never known her to lie. Well, without going into details, she had an illustrious career, working in 3 different industries and making a success of herself in each. She's pretty amazing, but unfortunately believes a lot of conspiracy theories and most of our conversation these days revolves around them :(
She also told me that when the war broke out her father bought a F*** TON of toilet paper. (People would buy as much of something as they could and use it to barter with) It covered a whole wall in his house. It took him 10 years to use it all.
@@sixseven404 like she believes that if you meditate enough and get in touch with your inner consciousness you can literally heal injuries in your body. And she full on believes this. Unfortunately she has 'good' reason to believe this. Turns out there are a small percentage of women who can have there ovaries removed but they grow back. She is in this minority. So she believes the meditation 'healed' her. Also I'm pretty sure her tonsils apparently grew back, further proof. It goes without saying that it can heal you of emotional problems. But the way you effect this is really freaky (explained over 12 cds and a workbook). The thing is, she's spoken to people online about this and people from around the world contact her for 'methodology'. Once I was going for a walk with her at night. We looked at the moon and there was a perfect circle of light around it (obviously some refraction with the sky). She told me, they're Chem trails. I wasn't having it and was like 'no theyre not, it's a freaking PERFECT circle around the moon. How could anyone do that?' but she insisted. So I said let's do a test, we'll stand here for 10 mins and if the wind has blown the Chem trail it won't be a perfect circle anymore. So we waited. Obviously the circle didn't budge but she swore it moved a little.
@@bon12121 Lol well I mean having a calm attitude and keeping your blood pressure down is good for you, and your body heals faster when you're healthy, but that's just how human bodies work i don't get why some people thinks it's something mystical 😂 The chem trail one is funny. I'm kinda amused by wacky conspiracy theories
I went to Singapore 12 years ago on a business trip. One morning in the office one of the natives was watching the Singapore News, and was visually distraught. I asked him what was the problem and was given an answer that three bad things had happened in the city. 1. a woman was a passenger in a cab, and didn't have enough money for the ride, so she threw the money she had from the back seat and jumped out of a moving car. 2. The number of people in Singapore that had problems with high fuel prices had risen from 23 to over 150 in a year (blessed be the prices of gas from 12 years ago) 3. One child had ran away from home. I strated laughing, as it was nothing, for such a big city. The guy asked me: "What kind of news do you in Serbia have?". I just told him: "If I told you, you wouldn't beleve me at first, and would probably have mental problems just from my answer. Just stick to your news and don't google my country" :D
Đorđe Martinović was operated on at "St. George" hospital in London twice. He was operated on by proctologist Dr. Peter Holley. Dr. Holley said after the operation: - Any self-harm has been ruled out, I studied the crime with my colleagues after reviewing the complete medical documentation. The violence was committed by at least three people. Albanians are the biggest evil in Europe. Now, when they started killing and raping in the EU, the UK and the USA, now many people are becoming aware of what we Serbs have been fighting for seven centuries, since the Ottomans brought them to the Balkans.
Gavrilo Princip: "So how did you kick off a war? I did it by shooting the Archduke of Austria." Đorđe Martinović: "I stuck a bottle up my ass." Gavrilo Princip: [moves to the other side of the cell]
Funny you bring him up, as Gavrilo Princip was himself part of a Domino effect. The only reason he got a chance to shoot the Archduke was because a bunch of previous assassination attempts on the same day failed, so Princip gave up and went to get a sandwich. And coincidentally, the Archduke's driver took a wrong turn and drove right by the sandwich shop Princip was sitting in. The rest is history.
Imagine walking out of Jimmy John's, sub in hand, and Vladimir Putin is sitting there in an open-topped car. Now imagine that's the least crazy part of the story.
Initially, upon first hearing about this story, I thought that it was 100% a case of a man lying to cover up a rather unfortunate accident. But now, hearing the full story, or at least greater detail in the story, I'm having serious doubts to the whether or not it actually happened that way. When you have the state intelligence AND the army interfering with the information surrounding the case, that's when you need to start seriously questioning the official narrative.
He may still be lying but I'm definitely skeptical that it was just a case of sexual kink. The logistics are kinda baffling. Most people wouldn't even stick a dildo up there without lube. And you're telling me this guy jammed a bottle up there, wide end first, until the thing broke? By himself? Out in a corn field? The guy wasn't a porn star. He hadn't trained for this. Just the initial insertion would have caused noticeable damage. And he just kept going while hemorrhaging blood until the thing was half way in and it broke? Something doesn't add up.
I mean, if you believe the report that the glass got as far as they said. You cant trust a single aspect of the story one way or another. Its the balkans. They scam each other every hour of every day.
Ex-Yugoslav here. Very good, very accurate, excellent, pronunciation on good level, nothing to criticize. It is beautiful to see a Westerner like Scotsman to say everything right about our history.
I once actually did fall over backwards onto a toilet roll holder because there was water on the floor of the bathroom and got a hospital trip with a busted butt hole. I wouldn't have cared if i was actually doing butt stuff but just seeing the way all the drs and nurses looked at me and them having me constantly repeat my story about how a toilet roll holder ended up in my batty was even more painful then the pain from the injury itself
I work for a professor who's field of research is in chemistry. Once a student in class asked him how he got interested in it and the professor simply stated that it was from blowing things up outside when he was in high school. The professor is from Serbia.
A kid in the 80's they use to sell great chemistry sets at like a warehouse place in Indiana. Man, back then they had some doozy chemicals included. My favorite was making this horrible stink bomb 🤣
In all honesty that's kind of how it used to be in the United States.....my grandfather was a chemist and criminologist. Either blowing shit up or making things to get high off of is a very common gateway to chemistry.....or was
@@tarmstrong9906man as a young adult from Indiana I remember my cousin giving me one of his older chemistry kits and it was so fun to play with. However he told me because of the times this was right after 9/11 that I had to play with it in his shack or basement because of the tensions on that stuff. Weird but fun times
I had a hemorrhoid bleed. I'm still in my 20s, so a bit early for that. After losing a litre of blood, no I still could not convince the doctors or nurses that I hadn't arsefucked myself with something glass. I WISH it was a a 28' silicon mistake, but no I just awoke to being very very bloody.
Bro, i experienced that at *16* Not even joking, actually bled for like a week and a half. It was awful... For the first day or two. Then i just got used to it. Still no clue why it happened, guess my ass decided it was time to invert itself, see the outside world for a bit.
Knowing a bunch of EMTs I know a bunch of people shove weird things in their ass and lie about it after the fact. However, i'm inclined to believe him because of the detail that they put the bottle on a stick first. Also love the timely reference to how war propaganda works.
Yeah and most people who lie will claim they tripped or fell off something , not so much something like that where there’s actual proof and I’m sure his rectum was shredded opposed to voluntary insertion
Count I found your TH-cam channel a few days ago by accident and I watched all of your stories for 3 days straight and I was a mess after 3 days because I couldn't stop watching and I was laughing at your sarcasm. Count I really like your channel and love watching your stories !
I'm inclined to believe Georgie's story, due in large part to the British doctor's assessment that the injury was too severe to be self-inflicted. A totally unaffiliated British doctor doesn't have much reason to take sides in a Balkan racial conflict, so I see his conclusion as more unbiased and trustworthy.
What makes you think the British doctor was unbiased? 99% of British doctors today will tell you Putin is a war criminal and what's happening in Ukraine is unthinkable. People take sides in things even if they feel none of the effects. Especially if they then become involved with the situation like this doctor did.
The German mark was used as a kind of a second official currency in Yugoslavia, even some laws and regulations listed fines and such in DEM. In Croatia, the Government recently announced it would remove mentions of the two-decades-dead currency from our legislation because the Government is so hard-working and competent that it definitely didn't just realize this shit was still in there as part of its preparations to scrap monetary sovereignty and adopt the euro. Love your stories, much love from the Balkans.
Weirdly enough I was in Croatia for a while during the civil war & we got a better exchange rate on the black market for DM than we did Pounds Sterling, even to the point of making it worthwhile to change our Pounds into DM before exchanging them again in Zagreb. They were more trusted & desirable as a hard currency than even Dollars among the locals for some reason.
I've already been in love with Croatia and all of you hospitable Croatians but now that I know you guys have been shitposting about this incident in your local newspapers makes you just even more likable. You guys are absolute mad lads and I love you.
@@jamesrustles8670 Good question. I have no idea. But I know cops accepted DEM. Almost everyone had some marks stashed in their driving license in case a cop needed persuasion.
My personal favorite story was when my mom was working in the ER, she walked by and there was a guy laying in the delivery room, so naturally somebody with her asked "why is there a guy in the maternity bed?" A nearby nurse simply responded "we're waiting for the batteries to run out"
In the 80's while in the Marines I got talked into going on a ride along with a reservist buddy who had joined the police force. The whole ride along was an adventure in itself because for some reason my buddy and his partner ran into more weird shit with me in the car with them that day than his senior partner had seen in one day in his 6 years on the force but those incidents are another story. The last incident of the day involved a naked man running down the median in broad daylight on Ocean Blvd. near the Belmont Shores area. They stopped the man and I had to stay in the car while they questioned and dealt with him so it took awhile before I knew what the deal was. Eventually an ambulance arrived and took the man away. According to the man he had been abducted by some men in a blue van who had stripped him, stole his money, his clothes and jewelry then the men shoved a cucumber up his rear and through him out. The cucumber was still there and he could not expel it. We spent the last hour of their shift driving around looking for this van with no luck. Some weeks later when I met up with my buddy again he told the van had been found and the people involved said that they had picked up a male prostitute on 2nd Street, they were getting freaky in the van and when the cucumber got lost the man freaked out, jumped out of the van and took off running. The case was still pending charges because both sides had stuck to their stories but I doubt anything ever came of it. Of course my buddy being the disgusting individual he was had to relay to me their follow up with the doctor who treated him. The doctor just had the man get on all fours, push as hard as he could and the doctor was able to screw the corkscrew of his Swiss army knife into the end of the cucumber while it was peeking out and pull it out avoiding major surgery. The anecdote to this story is that this incident ended up being one of the reasons I never considered law enforcement or the medical field as a future carrier.
if there was ever a mental image I never thought I'd see, it's a doctor rotating a swiss army knife corkscrew into a cucumber that's lodged in a man's bunghole.
@@crustybomb115 Yeah dude. I know the Oscar isn’t actually gold (plated at best). I’m just saying the one they (hypothetically) would give him _should_ be made of solid gold.
The guy who made the “jar squatter” video where it smashes was so much more hardcore. He didn’t make some excuse, he literally just admitted he did it because he likes it. That’s a man’s man.
My Mother was an X-Ray tech. Some days after school I would hang out in the Employee lounge at her hospital. They had a Box, "The Ass Box". It contained all the XRay's of things shoved in people's asses, with a hand written anecdote about the case, and what the patient claimed happened("I was golfing and i slipped and fell"...."Yes I too golf naked quite frequently") and it went back like 30 years. Not all of them were things in the butt, there was one lady who nailed nails into her skull, but some of the ones that were would shock you. Bottles, Eggplants(big end first), a trumpet, a literal Cornucopia(look it up lol). Needless to say, X Ray techs tend to have a great sense of humor, and just because they don't laugh at you, in your face, yeah, You might just end up in the Ass Box.
Serbian history always feels like you're tapping into something super obscure just because of how unbelievable it all sounds, and how we have never heard of these stories before in any form of media or history class.
My cousin used to work as a Physicians Assisstant at a hospital in rural Tennessee. He was on the overnight shift in the ER once when a preacher who had driven across 3 counties with a lightbulb lodged in his lower colon crashed into the front of the building.
As a toddler I once shoved a Lego man into my nostril. Lego man’s head was stuck up there and ER doctor removed it. Even as a small child, I still came up with the lie of, “I must of rolled onto it while asleep”.
I'm inclined to believe that he didn't do it himself, but I would be surprised if the enemy would be so kind as to give him anesthetics first... Ramming a bottle in and smashing it was BTW quite common among Arab and Japanese war crimes.
If we're to assume that it was done by albanian partisans, muslims engaged in homosexual, renal, and genital torture during the ottoman empire's reign over the region, and the age of barbary piracy, which is likely why it was a completely believable aspect of torture to many of the country's ethnic Slavs.
"A Serbian Film" is actually really well made for sure haha, hell of a movie pushing the envelope of cinema. I also love Zastava Rifles, they make that good-good.
I love how practically the only dark film produced in Serbia became the one that everyone knows. Most of our cinema, at least back in the day, was comedies. Most of the cinema we know and reference today are also comedies.
This is what parents should show kids who ask if lying is bad. They probably shouldn’t, but this hits home harder than any “don’t lie” morality spiel I’ve ever listened to. Edit: Like Otto Von Bismarck always says, “it’s some damned thing in the Balkans”.
Honestly It doesn't sound like he did it to himself. 1) the bottle was inserted base side first, not a common method of insertion 2) it happened in a field, unless he had a death wish why would he play with his prostate in public, in the 80s, in fucking Albania 3) after some quick searches, there was EXTENSIVE damage not just to his insides, but to his outsides as well, with IMO the most damning piece of evidence being his groin looked like it had a Episiotomy. 4) Furthermore, the 1guy1jar guy Alexey Tatorov had relatively little damage to his insides compared to Đorđe Martinović. IF Đorđe Martinović did try to fuck himself with a glass bottle, he probably wouldn't keep going once he felt his insides tearing.
This was exactly my conclusion. I think it’s more likely that his attackers were soldiers who decided to use the poor man as sick entertainment which is why the military got involved in trying to cover it up.
@@universaluniverse8780 whether they were albanian soldiers or albanian civilians doesnt change things too much realistically, unless you mean they were serbian soldiers which is ridiculous as that means that they were 3-4 soldiers who will torture their own people for no other reason than entertainment.
Just what I needed! Get off work on a horrible Monday, only to be greeted by one of my favorite Scotsman! We consider you a resident with dual citizenship here in Texas!!
German Marks was the most stable currency in the world. When the € came the excange rate was almost 2:1. With inflation I guess it would be about a quarter of a million € or Dollars.
I was in Croatia for a while after the civil war had just started & we actually got a better exchange rate on the black market with DM than we did British Sterling. They were just more desirable as a hard currency for some reason.
That x-ray reminds me of a story my ex-gf told me once...which always fascinated me. My ex is a nurse at a gastrointestinal clinic. She had a frequent patient that routinely suffered from self inflicted insertions. The patient was a 80+ year old widow who was an exceptionally well-to-do southern lady. As such she had a minority butler/driver. The patient so missed her husband who had died some 40 years prior, a husband who introduced her to a certain kink, a husband who left her a LOT of money. When she was feeling sentimental; Xmas, birthdays, anniversaries...she would have to be brought to the clinic by her butler/driver. Apparently her husband enjoyed anal and intoduced her to that experience so to properly remember him and the "experience" she would insert various objects (usually light bulbs interestingly enough) and would have to be driven to the clinic to have these items removed. Now what fascinated me was the fact that this elderly rich widow had absolutely NO shame about this and freely explained to my ex why she was being admitted and went into detail about the object and why it was there. This happened many many many times so much so that her and my ex became good friends. One of the funniest conversations I have ever had is when my ex just randomly, out of nowhere, began to tell me this story.
An old farmer with grandchildren in a conservative/religious part of the world decides to pleasure himself with a bottle on a stick... in the open after a hard day of field work? Where people who pass by can see him? And then the cops who decided to ignore picking up evidence until after it rains were all Albanians? And the person who wanted to buy tge farm just so happened to have left the country before the incident? And then a neutral doctor from London insists the wounds couldn't have been self inflicted? Imma be real dank i believe the guy's story...
Georgie did it himself “On 1 May 1985, Đorđe Martinović, a 56-year-old resident of the Kosovo town of Gjilan, arrived at the local hospital with a broken bottle wedged in his rectum. He claimed that he had been attacked by two Albanian men while he was working in his field. After being interrogated by a Yugoslav People's Army colonel, Martinović reportedly admitted that his injuries had been self-inflicted in a botched attempt at masturbation.”
@@West_Coast_Mainline even Dank who leans towards it being an accident proposes the very likely posibility that he had been threathened by the military/police to give out that statement to ease the tension between the people and avoid the breakup of yugoslavia. It wouldn't be the first time military officials threathen civilians to give false testimonies for the sake of keeping peace...
I heard a story from the Belgrade ER (I think that's where the story took place) A man walked into the ER with a head, and asked a nurse to..."fix" his buddy. Apparently two guys took a little something something and started playing with big swords. And one of them got a bit aggressive and... you can figure out the rest. So he packed both of the pieces that used to make up his buddy into his car and went to the ER.
From the info in this video I think the most likely option is the “Land Dispute”. The guy goes out of country right after some peasant refuses to sell his land to you. You pay two guys to rough him up but don’t say anything that ties to you or the fact that the guy couldn’t speak Albanian he didn’t know what they were trying to get out of him. They attack him and before the other guy gets back from Switzerland he can’t even make a new offer because shit has hit the fan so bad that he’s not going towards that with a 10 foot pole lol
i thought the same thing, especially considering albanian family ties. my cousin is married to an albanian woman, you wouldn't believe the shitshow that came with her not marrying an albanian man. my first thought about the land dispute and the guy leaving for switzerland was, he sent his cousins and uncles to rough the old man up.
I was thinkin the same thing, albanians have a reputation and intimidating threats, violence, and physical harm are not out of the question. And also if he shoved a bottle in his ass why in the world would he do it in the field instead of a barn or whatever, I think it was probably the guy paying off some thugs then leaving the country to use as an alibi though he probably did not intend for his goons to do something so drastic that it tears the country apart he just wanted to force him to sell him the land.
as a person from the balkans, that place is a shitshow. There's stories like this on a daily. When my dad was in the yugo army, he said even that was so much of a warzone itself that generals gave up on trying to maintain peace. Balkans are wack man
The Balkans are beautiful, The people are tough as brass, They'll share with you their beer, And stow the bottle up yer arse. - 'Sun Tzu: food and beverage etiquette of the Balkan regions'
As an American I can only think that your education system failed you, for if my country gaining of independence had a story like this, I guarantee you it would be as common knowledge as the boston tea party.
Some context, it was in german marks because a. a lot of yugoslavs went to germany for work and marks were accepted in places b. hyperinflation was a thing, I remember my grandma said she paid tens of thousands(or maybe millions) of dinars to buy me a tricycle
Even today Serbs in Kosovo and Metohija are living in actual ghettos in the middle of Europe. The ethnical cleansing of Serbs, destruction of the Serbian cultural and historical heritage and various other crimes are definitely not propaganda, it is happening to this day.
I guess the reason why German Marks were cited was due to hyperinflation the Yugoslav Dinar, followed by revaluations that occured between 1990 and 1994. This would lead people to use the German Mark, which was a hard, or strong, currency.
Yup, hyperinflation was REAL. My grandfather has two hyperinflated bills that he kept. One of them is somewhere around 10 million dinars and other is 50 mil or something like that. When i first saw them i didnt know about the hyperinflation and i started laughing my fucking ass off just looking at the numbers. To put this into perspective, the largest sum dinar bill today is 5000 dinars (around 50 dollars), which i rarely ever see, the largest sum you say frequently is 2000. So yeah, it was bit of a larger amount than i was used to seeing. Found it really funny.
I have many bills left,500B(yes billion lol) 200B etc...also whats more funny about that they didnt worth either much and sometimes not even that, exchange rate was changing several times a day so if something worth 10 bucks now in the morning is 5 bucks so it was a game which you must play smart
My wife is an ER nurse of 20 years. Once a week she’d come home with a story of “I don’t know how it got up there…..”That’s 1040 times she heard that and she’s just 1 nurse in 1 hospital. Think about that for a minute.
Yay! I've been waiting for you to post! From Coastal Mississippi and libertarian to another libertarian from Scotland! You should definitely come do a show down here! You would sell out; and trust me, it's really not as bad as people think it is! LOL keep up the good work, my freedom loving friend!
Years ago, I was told by a gay friend that using glass bottles is "a rookie mistake." He expanded, "Look man, you're trying to get guys to put their dicks in there. How TF you gonna get them to do that when you got a bunch of broken glass in there?" Then, as now, I could only nod my head and agree that that does make sense.
As someone from the Balkans, I can say that the war crime past time part is true. They used to execute Serbian POWs by jumping on their heads Super Mario-style in my old elementary school back during the war.
@@MegaPollitoconpapas Thats croats for you, there's records of how many parts theydismembrdchildren who were Serb and unfortunate to be found by them at school
The more I learn about the Balkan’s, the more I wonder how they still exist. Like I thought the Middle East and Central Africa was geopolitical powder keg.
That's just a hell of a story. Honestly, the medical records and conjunct forensic evidence (for what efficacy it was in those days) can aid a lot in factoring whether it was an intentional forceful attack from outside parties, or self-inflicted or some kind of freak accident. From the sound of it without seeing the actual full medical reports and the testimony of specialist doctors both abroad and within the Balkans, it could very well have been an assault/ attack by another party. But like you said, we'll probably truly never know lol. What really begs the questions is if there was other injuries he sustained that were brushed aside due to the ridiculousness and shocking or taboo nature of the bumbum portion, that would be additional information that could aid in verifying one story over the other, alongside toxicity screenings the hospital should have done at the time he was initially admitted (though in those years that really wasn't a practice). For what it is, hell of a story. Alexa- cue "Serbia Strong" in the playlist.
Yeah great point on the drugging part of that and the possible bruising from being assaulted. It's not like you can just make someone willingly be injected with morphine in the middle of a farm field. Even a peasant serb would fight back before he's injected with anything, let alone allow a finger to even touch him by anyone but his own family.
@@charliescene786 Right. Odds are he was blindsided first and partially knocked out, then possibly drugged, then the rest of the assault. Apparently, he did suffer other injuries from what others have said in the comments that are a little more educated on the incident in whatever way, so the theory/ one of two primary opinions on the incident don't make it so far fetched.
@@DJTheMetalheadMercenary instresting. Well sadly it won't be 100% solved but my God is this story chaotic in many ways. Lol. Hopefully people there will learn to put stuff like this behind them and not let it get shoved up their ass and shatter.
I only subscribed and liked all this dudes videos originally because I wanted to support someone they were trying so hard to bring down. I love the idea of reverse advertisements. Hell right now I'm looking into this ghost gun thing the news seems to be pushing so hard. I just couldn't get past the accent before. But I do have to say this little Scot is growing on me
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As a person who has counseled many patients and also many friends in the emergency room Department oh, I can tell you that when people put a bottle into their rectum they would normally do it with the neck first. It's really extremely rare to have the large end first. Not to mention if he was out in the field he could have used a cucumber or a carrot. I do believe that the Muslims did do this and I do think it's really sad that if he was a victim that people are taunting him even after his death. May God have mercy on everyone's soul
The phantom farter FIDDLERS the clue is in their calling card was it a coke or Pepsi bottle 🍼
Peepeepoopoo
He wouldn't stick it up his in the middle of a field not exactly the best place to stick a bottle up your arse
You sound like a Scots person saying,"I don't speak with an English accent!do I?"lol
to be fair, i am actually terrified of accidently getting something stuck up there by falling on it because it doesnt matter how you go about it, people will always think you put it up there on purpose.
Simple don't walk around naked, and don't have an asshole bigger than the Grand canyon
Why is it loose bruv.
You dont just fall on something and get it shoved up your ass.
It never ends up there accidently, ask any paramedic.
@@tindekappa9047 i take massive shits
As an RN, once had a patient that had "accidentally sat down" on a red delicious apple, which had inadvertently got lodged in his lower colon. After not being able to expel the apple with laxatives and starting to have severe intestinal pain, he came to the ER, where it was unable to be removed necessitating him to go to surgery. Mind you, this was not a small apple, but one 4 inches wide. While this incident did not lead to genocidal warfare, it did cause the patient to require a colon resection with a temporary colostomy that was reversed several months later. Lesson learned: don't sit down around fruit without undergarments on or alternatively, don't stick things up your back side that don't belong there.
Hate it when that happens.
Or at least ones that don't have a handle or something...
imagine it was a pineapple with the green end first...
I once had a C3-PO action figure lodged up my ass. In my defense, I was a little kid, and playing in the tub. I dont remember it happening, but from what my mom told me, I slipped while playing in the tub and up he went.
@@dichterdichter3593 Hitler's punishment
"he was diagnosed straight"
made me laugh so hard
Imma go into an LGBT Discord and start diagnosing then with "the big straight"
easy test
tell me which one of these does something for you?
[flashes a series of photos]
fat woman
slender with fat thighs woman
slim athletic woman
naked woman
fat man
chunky but slim man
muscular man
naked man
guaranteed you'll find out what someone is real quick....
ca we go back to the naked woman one?
My bisexual ass getting aroused with each one except the fatties.
I'd think I'm scot free until I get diagnosed with fat phobia and send to progressive reeducation camp
@@judgedrekk2981 I would fail, not because I am gay but would be frantically looking for horny single MILFs over 40 in my area that are conspicuously not listed in any of the mentioned photos and would create false positives in my search.
😂
If Juicy Smullet would have done the broken bottle in bum instead of subway and a bleaching, he would have still been a liar, but it would have been more interesting.
I can hear the headlines now.
_"The MAGA Bottle: How the Far-Right Replaced the Noose as the Symbol of White Supremacy."_
This was a curveball of a comment. I love it. Lol
Hardcore acting.
I also had that one in mind when i heard the story xD
Saved Jussie a bit of pain .
The Balkans has so many insane stories and characters that it could last for a lifetime
We do have those
More actually, A LOT more.
Meanwhile My dad is a war criminal is blearing In the background
This sounds like he was the first Jussie, long before Jussie came along. Blaming something on a hate crime. Juicy can't even do anything original. LOL.
Same with the caucuses. God didn’t just give the world one circus…
I had a friend who was a nurse and she told me that a guy had come in that day with a sauce bottle up his rectum. He's apparently been climbing on the table (nude) to change a lightbulb, slipped on the table and the sauce bottle had gotten lodged up there. After the doctors had been able to free it from up there one of them asked how it happened again. He told them the same thing, he was on the table, slipped and sat on the sauce bottle. The doctor said "o.k, but that doesn't explain why the bottle has a condom on it."
Why would you need to put a condom on a sauce bottle? Was he afraid of catching an STD from someone else who'd stuck that bottle up their ass?
I believe him
This joke and variations of it, have been told since the 80's. lol
😂😂🤣🤣
@@KingFluffs Maybe this is joke, but people coming to dr. with all kind of objects in their ass. (mainly bottles). I know this first hand because my gf is nurse for a long time and they had a lot of cases like this.
Usually guys having fun get carried away, but there also other side of coin. There is hatred and aggression from one part of Serbian population especially toward male gays. So I wouldn't be surprised if many of those cases actually someone did to this men as part of retribution.
Especially case described in video. That can't be self inflicted , no way. But Dankula somehow thinks that is case. I guess that is because he have some hate toword Serbs.
The best excuse I heard was off one of these tv shows where they ask doctors what the weirdest objects you’ve had to remove.
The doctor said that a male came into the hospital and had a shampoo bottle stuck in his bottom and the male said something like he bent over and farted and the backdraft created a suction and sucked the shampoo bottle in.
He couldn’t have just tried to blag slipping in the shower 😂
Best I've heard of was an unbroken light bulb. Insert bright idea joke
I remember on one of those shows where this dude had a knife in his head. Not just a little bit either. It was all the way up to the hilt!
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@@Username18981 the priest who “fell off a ladder” onto a lightbulb and it entered him without somehow breaking lol heard this one
"Some Albanians shoved a bottle up my keister!"
This angered the Balkans, who flew into a rage.
The funny thing is that after our 56 year old shock video pioneer admitted he did it to himself, that didn’t even stop the rage
@@West_Coast_Mainline Except he only "admitted" that in the presence of the albanian police, duh.
@@chickenlover657 and there is no way one can do this to himself. Pozdrav :)
@@chickenlover657 your sentence (in the presence of the Albanian police) makes no sense the one who interrogated him was Serbian ..and not only that but the secret services, the army ect ect that are involved were Serbs....we're talking about the 80's you forgot it?? kosovo gained independence in 2008
@@lagjescuni5482 Nah, I don't think you know what happened, but I'm bored of this topic so you can continue to believe whatever silly story you prefer.
I had a yugoslavian employee once, best worker ive EVER worked with. He loved america greatly, but was clearly broken hearted for his country. It was really sad to hear his stories
I have a Yugoslavian friend. She told me she arrived in Australia with $10! I believe her, i've never known her to lie. Well, without going into details, she had an illustrious career, working in 3 different industries and making a success of herself in each. She's pretty amazing, but unfortunately believes a lot of conspiracy theories and most of our conversation these days revolves around them :(
She also told me that when the war broke out her father bought a F*** TON of toilet paper. (People would buy as much of something as they could and use it to barter with) It covered a whole wall in his house. It took him 10 years to use it all.
@@bon12121 lol what sort of conspiracy theories
@@sixseven404 like she believes that if you meditate enough and get in touch with your inner consciousness you can literally heal injuries in your body. And she full on believes this. Unfortunately she has 'good' reason to believe this. Turns out there are a small percentage of women who can have there ovaries removed but they grow back. She is in this minority. So she believes the meditation 'healed' her. Also I'm pretty sure her tonsils apparently grew back, further proof. It goes without saying that it can heal you of emotional problems. But the way you effect this is really freaky (explained over 12 cds and a workbook). The thing is, she's spoken to people online about this and people from around the world contact her for 'methodology'.
Once I was going for a walk with her at night. We looked at the moon and there was a perfect circle of light around it (obviously some refraction with the sky). She told me, they're Chem trails. I wasn't having it and was like 'no theyre not, it's a freaking PERFECT circle around the moon. How could anyone do that?' but she insisted. So I said let's do a test, we'll stand here for 10 mins and if the wind has blown the Chem trail it won't be a perfect circle anymore. So we waited. Obviously the circle didn't budge but she swore it moved a little.
@@bon12121 Lol well I mean having a calm attitude and keeping your blood pressure down is good for you, and your body heals faster when you're healthy, but that's just how human bodies work i don't get why some people thinks it's something mystical 😂
The chem trail one is funny. I'm kinda amused by wacky conspiracy theories
Dankula: "I'm gonna try to keep this one monetized"
Also Dankula "SCHVETY BALLZ"
"Up the chuffter" - I almost choked!
TH-cam is a disgrace what with how easily your content can be demonetized. Spitting in their creator's faces, the same people who bring in traffic.
Its a long video. A man is only so strong, eventually there will be a slip and a crack, and a decade of genocide and warfare as the bottle breaks.
I went to Singapore 12 years ago on a business trip. One morning in the office one of the natives was watching the Singapore News, and was visually distraught. I asked him what was the problem and was given an answer that three bad things had happened in the city.
1. a woman was a passenger in a cab, and didn't have enough money for the ride, so she threw the money she had from the back seat and jumped out of a moving car.
2. The number of people in Singapore that had problems with high fuel prices had risen from 23 to over 150 in a year (blessed be the prices of gas from 12 years ago)
3. One child had ran away from home.
I strated laughing, as it was nothing, for such a big city.
The guy asked me: "What kind of news do you in Serbia have?".
I just told him: "If I told you, you wouldn't beleve me at first, and would probably have mental problems just from my answer. Just stick to your news and don't google my country" :D
Two things you can always count on:
1) Singaporeans that care
2) Serbians that don't
Serbia really is the Florida of Europe
@@bernardoohigginsvevo2974 The Balkans in general are the Florida of the eastern bloc.
Blessed be the old gas prices indeed, rAmen...
@@TiernanWilkinson and thats saying something
1 Country 1 Bottle
Underrated comment
Đorđe Martinović was operated on at "St. George" hospital in London twice. He was operated on by proctologist Dr. Peter Holley. Dr. Holley said after the operation:
- Any self-harm has been ruled out, I studied the crime with my colleagues after reviewing the complete medical documentation. The violence was committed by at least three people.
Albanians are the biggest evil in Europe. Now, when they started killing and raping in the EU, the UK and the USA, now many people are becoming aware of what we Serbs have been fighting for seven centuries, since the Ottomans brought them to the Balkans.
"Croatians were using the situation to shitpost" as a Croat I completely belive we would do that
After years of generational trauma, you need to find some sort of therapy...
well,wartime turbo folk had to start somewhere
ngl, as a Serb, I a 100% support your shitposting, this shit got serious, and people got puffed up, might as well get a few laughs out of it.
@@livingdeadgirl5691 Generational Trauma? The conflict between the Serbs and Hrvats is a game. I hurt you and you hurt me. No crying is allowed.
@@Vragnarax Dude, killing other ppl is not a game, it is a crime, it should not be normalised.
Could probably give the Slavs their whole sub section of mad lads just dedicated to them. Mad Slavs if you will
Absolute Mad Blyat
Tito would be my first pick!
A commie who stood up to STALIN & had king sized balls!
Mad people
@Brad Hissman mad n-...... fellas
they would have a whole ass channel dedicated to them, slavs are one of a kind...
Gavrilo Princip: "So how did you kick off a war? I did it by shooting the Archduke of Austria."
Đorđe Martinović: "I stuck a bottle up my ass."
Gavrilo Princip: [moves to the other side of the cell]
Also Gavrilo:
*dies of tuberculosis 11 years before this dude was even born*
@@johngavin2570 don't look up, you might see the joke
I swear, serbs are always starting crap.
Funny you bring him up, as Gavrilo Princip was himself part of a Domino effect.
The only reason he got a chance to shoot the Archduke was because a bunch of previous assassination attempts on the same day failed, so Princip gave up and went to get a sandwich.
And coincidentally, the Archduke's driver took a wrong turn and drove right by the sandwich shop Princip was sitting in.
The rest is history.
Imagine walking out of Jimmy John's, sub in hand, and Vladimir Putin is sitting there in an open-topped car. Now imagine that's the least crazy part of the story.
Initially, upon first hearing about this story, I thought that it was 100% a case of a man lying to cover up a rather unfortunate accident. But now, hearing the full story, or at least greater detail in the story, I'm having serious doubts to the whether or not it actually happened that way. When you have the state intelligence AND the army interfering with the information surrounding the case, that's when you need to start seriously questioning the official narrative.
Anti-Serb propaganda is widespread, everyone hates the truth. 😂
It does look like he got attacked as the glass probably would not have been shoved that far up if he did it to himself.
He may still be lying but I'm definitely skeptical that it was just a case of sexual kink. The logistics are kinda baffling. Most people wouldn't even stick a dildo up there without lube. And you're telling me this guy jammed a bottle up there, wide end first, until the thing broke? By himself? Out in a corn field? The guy wasn't a porn star. He hadn't trained for this. Just the initial insertion would have caused noticeable damage. And he just kept going while hemorrhaging blood until the thing was half way in and it broke?
Something doesn't add up.
Fun fact 'Night Lords' come to train here in Serbia :D
I mean, if you believe the report that the glass got as far as they said. You cant trust a single aspect of the story one way or another. Its the balkans. They scam each other every hour of every day.
The Bottle Balkanized inside of him
Ex-Yugoslav here. Very good, very accurate, excellent, pronunciation on good level, nothing to criticize. It is beautiful to see a Westerner like Scotsman to say everything right about our history.
I once actually did fall over backwards onto a toilet roll holder because there was water on the floor of the bathroom and got a hospital trip with a busted butt hole. I wouldn't have cared if i was actually doing butt stuff but just seeing the way all the drs and nurses looked at me and them having me constantly repeat my story about how a toilet roll holder ended up in my batty was even more painful then the pain from the injury itself
I don't know man that sounds pretty sus to me
I feel you bro x sorry for your unforeseen circumstances
Right. Water on the floor.
Just admit it batty boy
/looks around at the bottle and spray can on the floor/
GULP!
I work for a professor who's field of research is in chemistry. Once a student in class asked him how he got interested in it and the professor simply stated that it was from blowing things up outside when he was in high school. The professor is from Serbia.
A kid in the 80's they use to sell great chemistry sets at like a warehouse place in Indiana. Man, back then they had some doozy chemicals included. My favorite was making this horrible stink bomb 🤣
In all honesty that's kind of how it used to be in the United States.....my grandfather was a chemist and criminologist.
Either blowing shit up or making things to get high off of is a very common gateway to chemistry.....or was
@@tarmstrong9906man as a young adult from Indiana I remember my cousin giving me one of his older chemistry kits and it was so fun to play with. However he told me because of the times this was right after 9/11 that I had to play with it in his shack or basement because of the tensions on that stuff. Weird but fun times
"He was diagnosed as straight."
I love the balkans
I had a hemorrhoid bleed. I'm still in my 20s, so a bit early for that. After losing a litre of blood, no I still could not convince the doctors or nurses that I hadn't arsefucked myself with something glass. I WISH it was a a 28' silicon mistake, but no I just awoke to being very very bloody.
Bro, i experienced that at *16*
Not even joking, actually bled for like a week and a half. It was awful... For the first day or two. Then i just got used to it. Still no clue why it happened, guess my ass decided it was time to invert itself, see the outside world for a bit.
Feel you man, i havent gotten to that point but it gets very bad
Really,. 🥴
Omg that happens to my bf. What did it turn out to be? He's had a colonoscopies to check a for abnormalities and nothing😵💫😧
@@CiMcM135 Gotta stop Pegging him
Knowing a bunch of EMTs I know a bunch of people shove weird things in their ass and lie about it after the fact. However, i'm inclined to believe him because of the detail that they put the bottle on a stick first. Also love the timely reference to how war propaganda works.
Yeah and most people who lie will claim they tripped or fell off something , not so much something like that where there’s actual proof and I’m sure his rectum was shredded opposed to voluntary insertion
Also, who puts a bottle in their ass flat side first? Wouldn't any normal person start with the sloped neck?
Beer/vodka bottle glass is pretty strong, does it just shatter under the force of your anal cavity? That part is that makes me believe him.
nah the stick was nessery for him to do it to himself he needed both hands to hold the cheeks and the tstick lent against the ground to push against
@@super1337bf3ordie found the experienced one.
"This region of the globe where the national pastime is war crimes" I choked so hard i had you call you Daddy Dankula!
*"My Dad is a War Criminal" intensifies*
For me its both my grandfathers.
Count I found your TH-cam channel a few days ago by accident and I watched all of your stories for 3 days straight and I was a mess after 3 days because I couldn't stop watching and I was laughing at your sarcasm. Count I really like your channel and love watching your stories !
I did the same thing when I found him and I ended up with a hint of a scottish accent for 2 weeks :/
@@MrKipling420 now don't start war with your lies lol 😆 😂 🤣 kidding
Are you thinking in Scottish accent yet? (if you weren't already)
@@christophergenther3517 I am Scottish need to think in Scottish I am a Scotsman
@@christophergenther3517 The accent went away after the 2 weeks, and no I did not think in a scottish accent ahaha
I'm inclined to believe Georgie's story, due in large part to the British doctor's assessment that the injury was too severe to be self-inflicted.
A totally unaffiliated British doctor doesn't have much reason to take sides in a Balkan racial conflict, so I see his conclusion as more unbiased and trustworthy.
Kosovo in the 80s was like South Africa today
It was mostly segregated and tensions were sky high
British unaffiliated 🤣
Mind that the west wanted yugoslavia to break apart.
What makes you think the British doctor was unbiased? 99% of British doctors today will tell you Putin is a war criminal and what's happening in Ukraine is unthinkable. People take sides in things even if they feel none of the effects. Especially if they then become involved with the situation like this doctor did.
@@DexMaster881 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The German mark was used as a kind of a second official currency in Yugoslavia, even some laws and regulations listed fines and such in DEM. In Croatia, the Government recently announced it would remove mentions of the two-decades-dead currency from our legislation because the Government is so hard-working and competent that it definitely didn't just realize this shit was still in there as part of its preparations to scrap monetary sovereignty and adopt the euro. Love your stories, much love from the Balkans.
Weirdly enough I was in Croatia for a while during the civil war & we got a better exchange rate on the black market for DM than we did Pounds Sterling, even to the point of making it worthwhile to change our Pounds into DM before exchanging them again in Zagreb. They were more trusted & desirable as a hard currency than even Dollars among the locals for some reason.
I've already been in love with Croatia and all of you hospitable Croatians but now that I know you guys have been shitposting about this incident in your local newspapers makes you just even more likable. You guys are absolute mad lads and I love you.
Was there other laws that made the mark illegal tender or could you have paid the fines with a dead currency?
@@jamesrustles8670 Good question. I have no idea. But I know cops accepted DEM. Almost everyone had some marks stashed in their driving license in case a cop needed persuasion.
like dollars here in South america, got any for your sweet Argentinean friend here??
That's one hell of an independence story. "Yeah someone had a bottle up his ass and that's why now we're an independent country".
That "independent country" part is debatable but it's fitting for such creation
Kosovo is serbian, not independent
Butterfly effect
@@morisco56 maybe was Serbian. Whether or not you think it should be, it isn’t at the moment.
Okej Jopa svi ti vjerujemo
My personal favorite story was when my mom was working in the ER, she walked by and there was a guy laying in the delivery room, so naturally somebody with her asked "why is there a guy in the maternity bed?" A nearby nurse simply responded "we're waiting for the batteries to run out"
In the 80's while in the Marines I got talked into going on a ride along with a reservist buddy who had joined the police force. The whole ride along was an adventure in itself because for some reason my buddy and his partner ran into more weird shit with me in the car with them that day than his senior partner had seen in one day in his 6 years on the force but those incidents are another story. The last incident of the day involved a naked man running down the median in broad daylight on Ocean Blvd. near the Belmont Shores area. They stopped the man and I had to stay in the car while they questioned and dealt with him so it took awhile before I knew what the deal was. Eventually an ambulance arrived and took the man away. According to the man he had been abducted by some men in a blue van who had stripped him, stole his money, his clothes and jewelry then the men shoved a cucumber up his rear and through him out. The cucumber was still there and he could not expel it. We spent the last hour of their shift driving around looking for this van with no luck. Some weeks later when I met up with my buddy again he told the van had been found and the people involved said that they had picked up a male prostitute on 2nd Street, they were getting freaky in the van and when the cucumber got lost the man freaked out, jumped out of the van and took off running. The case was still pending charges because both sides had stuck to their stories but I doubt anything ever came of it. Of course my buddy being the disgusting individual he was had to relay to me their follow up with the doctor who treated him. The doctor just had the man get on all fours, push as hard as he could and the doctor was able to screw the corkscrew of his Swiss army knife into the end of the cucumber while it was peeking out and pull it out avoiding major surgery. The anecdote to this story is that this incident ended up being one of the reasons I never considered law enforcement or the medical field as a future carrier.
The moral I got was to always carry a Swiss army knife when you're gonna get freaky with vegetables!
Threw*
Epilogue not anecdote. Peace from your friendly Professional English Major.
if there was ever a mental image I never thought I'd see, it's a doctor rotating a swiss army knife corkscrew into a cucumber that's lodged in a man's bunghole.
Goodbye swiss army knife.
This guy deserves an Oscar for his existence
Especially since he hasn't slapped anyone on live TV... I think.
Nah this dude deserves some award that actually has some value
@@Otto_Von_Beansmarck Maybe if the Oscar was made of solid gold? He could at least melt it down.
@@himwhoisnottobenamed5427 ever heard of fools gold?
@@crustybomb115 Yeah dude. I know the Oscar isn’t actually gold (plated at best). I’m just saying the one they (hypothetically) would give him _should_ be made of solid gold.
Balkans is like living in Gotham, only there's no Batman.
Jason Todd died in Bosnia.
The guy who made the “jar squatter” video where it smashes was so much more hardcore. He didn’t make some excuse, he literally just admitted he did it because he likes it. That’s a man’s man.
and he took all the glass out by himself. And went to work that day afterwards.
Well Georgie literally didn't do it. The doctors said so.
pretty sure danks has an episode on it? or was that whang?
Something gary wouldve done
@@thr0ne1997 probably whang
"Operation hide the bottle" fucking killed me had me on the floor laughing
same
Bulgaria looking over the fence
"The fuck are they doing over there? A bottle?"
That opening graphic, though.
Will never forget Glass Jar Man.
My Mother was an X-Ray tech. Some days after school I would hang out in the Employee lounge at her hospital. They had a Box, "The Ass Box". It contained all the XRay's of things shoved in people's asses, with a hand written anecdote about the case, and what the patient claimed happened("I was golfing and i slipped and fell"...."Yes I too golf naked quite frequently") and it went back like 30 years. Not all of them were things in the butt, there was one lady who nailed nails into her skull, but some of the ones that were would shock you. Bottles, Eggplants(big end first), a trumpet, a literal Cornucopia(look it up lol). Needless to say, X Ray techs tend to have a great sense of humor, and just because they don't laugh at you, in your face, yeah, You might just end up in the Ass Box.
Cornucopia broke me lol. idk why people just dont use a simple dildo. People can buy them for as low as 16$...
the box box
That'd make a good coffee table book
Radiographer*.
@@sh-hg4eg radiologist i think. I dunno tho i was like 10
Serbian history always feels like you're tapping into something super obscure just because of how unbelievable it all sounds, and how we have never heard of these stories before in any form of media or history class.
My cousin used to work as a Physicians Assisstant at a hospital in rural Tennessee. He was on the overnight shift in the ER once when a preacher who had driven across 3 counties with a lightbulb lodged in his lower colon crashed into the front of the building.
As a toddler I once shoved a Lego man into my nostril. Lego man’s head was stuck up there and ER doctor removed it. Even as a small child, I still came up with the lie of, “I must of rolled onto it while asleep”.
I'm inclined to believe that he didn't do it himself, but I would be surprised if the enemy would be so kind as to give him anesthetics first...
Ramming a bottle in and smashing it was BTW quite common among Arab and Japanese war crimes.
Ditto - why would you do that outside in a field? I guess the wife never leaves the house?
If we're to assume that it was done by albanian partisans, muslims engaged in homosexual, renal, and genital torture during the ottoman empire's reign over the region, and the age of barbary piracy, which is likely why it was a completely believable aspect of torture to many of the country's ethnic Slavs.
@@unclebuzzyschurchofgroove6190 In a country where homosexuality was illegal until 1994 no less.
"Mom, I want to watch 'a serbian film' "
"We have 'a serbian film' at home."
A serbian film at home:
To be honest, what ever serbia produces as a film now or ever is much more watchable then what dogsh*t makes Croatian cinema and i am Croat.
god why did you have to remind me about that disgusting film :p fuck you, dude! XD
"A Serbian Film" is actually really well made for sure haha, hell of a movie pushing the envelope of cinema. I also love Zastava Rifles, they make that good-good.
I love how practically the only dark film produced in Serbia became the one that everyone knows. Most of our cinema, at least back in the day, was comedies. Most of the cinema we know and reference today are also comedies.
Why would your mom let you watch a Serbian film in the first place? I know it's a dead meme joke, but still...
This is what parents should show kids who ask if lying is bad. They probably shouldn’t, but this hits home harder than any “don’t lie” morality spiel I’ve ever listened to.
Edit: Like Otto Von Bismarck always says, “it’s some damned thing in the Balkans”.
I love bizmarkie! YOOOUU... GOT WHAT I NEEEED..
always saIED, thats 100 Years ago lul What a fuking Prophet he was
@@randomtology2173 WHEN YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND, YEAH YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND! R.I.P Biz! 🎤🕊
@@calvinfolan1736 ohhh baaby yooouuuu
Some kids might want to see the world burn
Dank: "they didn't take any items as evidence."
Lead Investigator: "Okay, nose goes. Who's picking up the butt bottle pieces?"
Honestly It doesn't sound like he did it to himself.
1) the bottle was inserted base side first, not a common method of insertion
2) it happened in a field, unless he had a death wish why would he play with his prostate in public, in the 80s, in fucking Albania
3) after some quick searches, there was EXTENSIVE damage not just to his insides, but to his outsides as well, with IMO the most damning piece of evidence being his groin looked like it had a Episiotomy.
4) Furthermore, the 1guy1jar guy Alexey Tatorov had relatively little damage to his insides compared to Đorđe Martinović.
IF Đorđe Martinović did try to fuck himself with a glass bottle, he probably wouldn't keep going once he felt his insides tearing.
In Kosovo
I agree.
People don't realise how dangerous Kosovo was even before the 90s
Especially if you were a civilian Serb
This was exactly my conclusion. I think it’s more likely that his attackers were soldiers who decided to use the poor man as sick entertainment which is why the military got involved in trying to cover it up.
@@universaluniverse8780 whether they were albanian soldiers or albanian civilians doesnt change things too much realistically, unless you mean they were serbian soldiers which is ridiculous as that means that they were 3-4 soldiers who will torture their own people for no other reason than entertainment.
Dank i love you for teaching us these little details completely ignored by mainstream media. Keep doing what you're doing!
"Lets call it operation hide the bottle" ...
OOF
Just what I needed! Get off work on a horrible Monday, only to be greeted by one of my favorite Scotsman! We consider you a resident with dual citizenship here in Texas!!
I hope tomorrow is much better for you.
We?
@@Cheka__ That's kind of you! Thank you!
@@JohnsonTheSecond ¿qué?
@@curezilla ¿nos?
German Marks was the most stable currency in the world. When the € came the excange rate was almost 2:1. With inflation I guess it would be about a quarter of a million € or Dollars.
sad they got rid of it and replaced it with the sh!tty globalist euro...
seems right. might've even been a bit more
I was in Croatia for a while after the civil war had just started & we actually got a better exchange rate on the black market with DM than we did British Sterling. They were just more desirable as a hard currency for some reason.
Dude you're a really great storyteller. Keep it up!
That x-ray reminds me of a story my ex-gf told me once...which always fascinated me. My ex is a nurse at a gastrointestinal clinic. She had a frequent patient that routinely suffered from self inflicted insertions.
The patient was a 80+ year old widow who was an exceptionally well-to-do southern lady. As such she had a minority butler/driver.
The patient so missed her husband who had died some 40 years prior, a husband who introduced her to a certain kink, a husband who left her a LOT of money.
When she was feeling sentimental; Xmas, birthdays, anniversaries...she would have to be brought to the clinic by her butler/driver.
Apparently her husband enjoyed anal and intoduced her to that experience so to properly remember him and the "experience" she would insert various objects (usually light bulbs interestingly enough) and would have to be driven to the clinic to have these items removed.
Now what fascinated me was the fact that this elderly rich widow had absolutely NO shame about this and freely explained to my ex why she was being admitted and went into detail about the object and why it was there. This happened many many many times so much so that her and my ex became good friends.
One of the funniest conversations I have ever had is when my ex just randomly, out of nowhere, began to tell me this story.
Sounds like a porn parody of Driving Miss Daisy
Good bless that woman
Elderly honesty is a hell of a thing
Also she a ride or die
Your ex should have intruduced the lady to safe sex toys.
The number of men arguing over the logistics of the incident and whether it could be accidental or not is hilarious.
"If you look at the way his ass expanded, then its clear that he did it himself"
"Yes but look at his prostate, clearly he never even touched It"
An old farmer with grandchildren in a conservative/religious part of the world decides to pleasure himself with a bottle on a stick... in the open after a hard day of field work? Where people who pass by can see him?
And then the cops who decided to ignore picking up evidence until after it rains were all Albanians?
And the person who wanted to buy tge farm just so happened to have left the country before the incident?
And then a neutral doctor from London insists the wounds couldn't have been self inflicted?
Imma be real dank i believe the guy's story...
Georgie did it himself “On 1 May 1985, Đorđe Martinović, a 56-year-old resident of the Kosovo town of Gjilan, arrived at the local hospital with a broken bottle wedged in his rectum. He claimed that he had been attacked by two Albanian men while he was working in his field. After being interrogated by a Yugoslav People's Army colonel, Martinović reportedly admitted that his injuries had been self-inflicted in a botched attempt at masturbation.”
@@West_Coast_Mainline even Dank who leans towards it being an accident proposes the very likely posibility that he had been threathened by the military/police to give out that statement to ease the tension between the people and avoid the breakup of yugoslavia.
It wouldn't be the first time military officials threathen civilians to give false testimonies for the sake of keeping peace...
@@West_Coast_Mainline You westerners are complete ignoramuses. I live here I know what happened and you do not.
Dank's voice for the guy lying about sodomizing himself to the hospital being an uppity British accent is the most Scottish thing I've heard all week.
That was his Edinburgh accent.
@@redpaddys12 *Your point?*
Scottish people are British.
@@GlizzyGoblin757 Aye? well load o us dinnae see it that way pal, including myself.
@@Blama_ The fact that I can barely read what you said proves how Scottish you are
I heard a story from the Belgrade ER (I think that's where the story took place)
A man walked into the ER with a head, and asked a nurse to..."fix" his buddy.
Apparently two guys took a little something something and started playing with big swords. And one of them got a bit aggressive and... you can figure out the rest.
So he packed both of the pieces that used to make up his buddy into his car and went to the ER.
He cut him in half?
Edit: oh he decapitated his friend.
Ajme!
There can be only one.
He went Full force
@@aaronhogan2371 ayyeeee
me bottle o' scrumpeh
i dont think an old man is gonna do that to himself in the middle of a field.
From the info in this video I think the most likely option is the “Land Dispute”. The guy goes out of country right after some peasant refuses to sell his land to you. You pay two guys to rough him up but don’t say anything that ties to you or the fact that the guy couldn’t speak Albanian he didn’t know what they were trying to get out of him. They attack him and before the other guy gets back from Switzerland he can’t even make a new offer because shit has hit the fan so bad that he’s not going towards that with a 10 foot pole lol
With a bottle on a ten foot pole*
i thought the same thing, especially considering albanian family ties. my cousin is married to an albanian woman, you wouldn't believe the shitshow that came with her not marrying an albanian man.
my first thought about the land dispute and the guy leaving for switzerland was, he sent his cousins and uncles to rough the old man up.
I was thinkin the same thing, albanians have a reputation and intimidating threats, violence, and physical harm are not out of the question. And also if he shoved a bottle in his ass why in the world would he do it in the field instead of a barn or whatever, I think it was probably the guy paying off some thugs then leaving the country to use as an alibi though he probably did not intend for his goons to do something so drastic that it tears the country apart he just wanted to force him to sell him the land.
@@robbieg6036 gold
Don't drag Poland into it!
as a person from the balkans, that place is a shitshow. There's stories like this on a daily. When my dad was in the yugo army, he said even that was so much of a warzone itself that generals gave up on trying to maintain peace. Balkans are wack man
That asymmetrical hexagon in the background is driving me absolutely insane
This would be like a random interaction in Minnesota sparking widespread riots across the United States...
*Oh wait...*
It was substances stashed in a dark place. Darker than normal.
As a Minnesota native, ;_;
I need context@@leonardticsay8046
The Balkans are beautiful,
The people are tough as brass,
They'll share with you their beer,
And stow the bottle up yer arse.
- 'Sun Tzu: food and beverage etiquette of the Balkan regions'
REAL
Thank you so much for putting the images of 1 man 1 jar back in my head 👍
I live in Serbia, under a rock apparently, since I never heard this story. Most perfect way to enlighten me.
Yeah, me neither. To be fair, this all happened when my mother was a preteen soooo I think i get a pass
Ask your parents. :)
Try searching the issue under different IP adressess, use a VPN for convenience. It's so covered up...
@@Shkorp93 Serbian internwt providers dont block anything, we're not noeth kore, it just isnt talked about
As an American I can only think that your education system failed you, for if my country gaining of independence had a story like this, I guarantee you it would be as common knowledge as the boston tea party.
As always Dank , well researched , informative and funny. Have a great week brother
A very informative video indeed. You are a very entertaining man. I shall watch more of your videos, they are enjoyable.
We need more balkans stories! That region is basically some sort of chaotic Gmod server in real life!
Some context, it was in german marks because a. a lot of yugoslavs went to germany for work and marks were accepted in places b. hyperinflation was a thing, I remember my grandma said she paid tens of thousands(or maybe millions) of dinars to buy me a tricycle
Even today Serbs in Kosovo and Metohija are living in actual ghettos in the middle of Europe. The ethnical cleansing of Serbs, destruction of the Serbian cultural and historical heritage and various other crimes are definitely not propaganda, it is happening to this day.
"Quite far up" is a bit of an understatement any further up and an oral examination would of been more appropriate in said bottles removal.
I guess the reason why German Marks were cited was due to hyperinflation the Yugoslav Dinar, followed by revaluations that occured between 1990 and 1994. This would lead people to use the German Mark, which was a hard, or strong, currency.
Yup, hyperinflation was REAL. My grandfather has two hyperinflated bills that he kept. One of them is somewhere around 10 million dinars and other is 50 mil or something like that. When i first saw them i didnt know about the hyperinflation and i started laughing my fucking ass off just looking at the numbers. To put this into perspective, the largest sum dinar bill today is 5000 dinars (around 50 dollars), which i rarely ever see, the largest sum you say frequently is 2000.
So yeah, it was bit of a larger amount than i was used to seeing. Found it really funny.
Deutsche Marks are still used in Croatia (for fines)
I have many bills left,500B(yes billion lol) 200B etc...also whats more funny about that they didnt worth either much and sometimes not even that, exchange rate was changing several times a day so if something worth 10 bucks now in the morning is 5 bucks so it was a game which you must play smart
This video was so well put together. Definitly earned my sub at 4 in the morning
*record scratch* "I bet you're wondering how I got here and why Yugoslavia collapsed. Well It all started with a bottle."
"It's gonna be some damned foolish thing in the Balkans."
Otto Von Bismarck
My wife is an ER nurse of 20 years. Once a week she’d come home with a story of “I don’t know how it got up there…..”That’s 1040 times she heard that and she’s just 1 nurse in 1 hospital.
Think about that for a minute.
Yay! I've been waiting for you to post! From Coastal Mississippi and libertarian to another libertarian from Scotland! You should definitely come do a show down here! You would sell out; and trust me, it's really not as bad as people think it is! LOL keep up the good work, my freedom loving friend!
hey, mississippi gang
Hail State
It's supposed to say Coastal Mississipian libertarian* I got to quit smoking so much weed; I'm editing stuff left and right! LOL
Yeah, he could go to Biloxi.
Sw gang
Years ago, I was told by a gay friend that using glass bottles is "a rookie mistake." He expanded, "Look man, you're trying to get guys to put their dicks in there. How TF you gonna get them to do that when you got a bunch of broken glass in there?"
Then, as now, I could only nod my head and agree that that does make sense.
Ah he must be more than your gay friend then
You could never break a bottle with your butt, just imagine trying to break one with your hands!
Its the SIZE that is problematic if anything.
@@mrianwonder6527 1 guy 1 jar
Cringe. You def bang each other… Mr. monkeypox
Holding individuals closer together only make me hate Titus more, union is bad, self reliance is good.
you could've called this the "Booty Bottle Boogaloo" and you didn't lol MISSED OPPORTUNITY!
I just realized that if Dank shaved he’d look like an Edgy Baby
Hence the beard
As someone from the Balkans, I can say that the war crime past time part is true.
They used to execute Serbian POWs by jumping on their heads Super Mario-style in my old elementary school back during the war.
holy shit thats absolutely insane
@@MegaPollitoconpapas Yup. They used to tell scared soldiers to just imagine they're jumping in the river and not onto a person's head.
@@MegaPollitoconpapas Thats croats for you, there's records of how many parts theydismembrdchildren who were Serb and unfortunate to be found by them at school
Oh God! 10 seconds in and I'm already laughing my ass off. I'm ready for this! 🤣
that's Count Dankula for ya
From a bottle in a rectum to genocide in the same sentence?
That escalated quickly...
The more I learn about the Balkan’s, the more I wonder how they still exist.
Like I thought the Middle East and Central Africa was geopolitical powder keg.
as someone who almost did get accidentally impaled. the fear is real and can happen at any time...
yeah yeah accidentally
@@a3aan__uit389 idk about you but intentionally choosing to fall off the roof of a land rover seems a bit... daft.
wtf do you do all day for you to be worried that it can happen any time? do you work in a dildo factory or a bottling plant?
That's just a hell of a story. Honestly, the medical records and conjunct forensic evidence (for what efficacy it was in those days) can aid a lot in factoring whether it was an intentional forceful attack from outside parties, or self-inflicted or some kind of freak accident. From the sound of it without seeing the actual full medical reports and the testimony of specialist doctors both abroad and within the Balkans, it could very well have been an assault/ attack by another party. But like you said, we'll probably truly never know lol.
What really begs the questions is if there was other injuries he sustained that were brushed aside due to the ridiculousness and shocking or taboo nature of the bumbum portion, that would be additional information that could aid in verifying one story over the other, alongside toxicity screenings the hospital should have done at the time he was initially admitted (though in those years that really wasn't a practice).
For what it is, hell of a story. Alexa- cue "Serbia Strong" in the playlist.
Yeah great point on the drugging part of that and the possible bruising from being assaulted. It's not like you can just make someone willingly be injected with morphine in the middle of a farm field. Even a peasant serb would fight back before he's injected with anything, let alone allow a finger to even touch him by anyone but his own family.
@@charliescene786 Right. Odds are he was blindsided first and partially knocked out, then possibly drugged, then the rest of the assault.
Apparently, he did suffer other injuries from what others have said in the comments that are a little more educated on the incident in whatever way, so the theory/ one of two primary opinions on the incident don't make it so far fetched.
@@DJTheMetalheadMercenary instresting. Well sadly it won't be 100% solved but my God is this story chaotic in many ways. Lol. Hopefully people there will learn to put stuff like this behind them and not let it get shoved up their ass and shatter.
@@charliescene786 hahahahahahaha yeah dude hahahaha
Bumbum hehe...
Several masked Albanian speaking men came up behind him and presumably whispered "this is MAGA country" before doing the heinous, hateful deed.
Several masked men came up behind him and presumably whispered “this protest is mostly peaceful” before doing the heinous, hateful deed.
@@brainkill7034very “peaceful” indeed.
As School kids, I remember how 'Slobodan Milosovich' got turned into 'Slobberdown Myknobyabitch'
ahhh memories
Lmao
lol
I only subscribed and liked all this dudes videos originally because I wanted to support someone they were trying so hard to bring down. I love the idea of reverse advertisements. Hell right now I'm looking into this ghost gun thing the news seems to be pushing so hard. I just couldn't get past the accent before. But I do have to say this little Scot is growing on me
“He was diagnosed as straight” 😂😂
I slipped and fell doc - I tell ya it was a one in a million
You know, it happens. You're just walking around the house with no pants on as you usually do, and before you know it something gets stuck up there.
Eastern Europe is basically just Florida but with worse infrastructure
Seeing how much gray-area information there is in this story, I hope Dank changes is mind about doing Varg for Mad Lads
Even if I didn't like the video I'd still give you a thumbs up for your Raycon presentation. Hilarious.
Heard him say AFT so much that it sounds wrong hearing someone call it the ATF
Sees the video: "Dank? Do I need to go grab my Slivovitz?"
2 minutes in: Yes yes I am going to get it.
Damn He said genocides as in plural ...more than one...holy crap....
Notice it’s a beer bottle, he probably got drunk and did it himself