The Art of Being Happy For Others
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.ย. 2024
- Hello Again!! Time Stamps Below I'M AWARE OF THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES I'm still learning to be great lol
Do you struggle to tell your friends "congratulations!" when their lives are taking off and yours is lying flat on the ground? If so, this video is for you!! Here are some tips and tricks I've learned over the years, that have helped me be able to authentically cheer for other people, even when my own life is an American Horror Story. (Feel Free to Share Any Tips You May Have Below!!)
Step 1: Decentralize yourself in the Narrative of Their life: • The Art of Being Happy...
Step 2: Be honest about how content you are with your own life: • The Art of Being Happy...
Step 3: Acknowledge when you feel sad or left out, find a supportive person who will listen and understand and give you POSITIVE feedback: • The Art of Being Happy...
My Wisest Friend Taught Me This: • The Art of Being Happy...
I really appreciate your ability to speak on some of the most un-admitted hard conversation pieces that a lot of us try to ignore. You speak so clearly and concise all while being hella entertaining. I love it here💕
Excellent comment. You said what I feel. I so applaud her for the topics that she broaches.
Yes I just started watching her videos and I feel like I identify with all her topics.
Same
Perfectly worded! I’m so grateful I found this channel
Yes!!! She does a realllllllly great job at it!
"I feel like im always in a celebration for someone else, and I dont get my own celebration". So deep. So important to acknowledge but so rarely verbalized. I can't wait until its your turn ♥️
Thaaaat part !!!!!
Oh
@@choclate39 👮🏻♂️🫧🆙
Favorite episode of sex and the city. Carrier gets her manolos stolen and a friends bany shower. The friend refuses to replace the shoes and proceeds to shoe shame her because she would buy such expensive shoes. Carrie sends her friend and invite to bridal shower she is throwing for herself. Carrie is marrying herself and she is registered at manolo😂 the friend purchased the shoes. Classic episode. We shouldn’t wait for a life event to celebrate ourselves.
Its crazy how nowadays people make it seem that your only suppose to be positive and super happy for others when jealousy is a normal feeling and at times is good to apply for your own motivation, yes jealousy is bad when you dont do anything and just hate on a person, but this is a feeling most of us have and if we use it right it can make us very driven... I mean at the end of the day the biggest and most succesful businesses are usually the most competetive and jealous business owners. But jealousy can get ugly real fast so it is our responsibility to not make it consume us BUT it is a normal feeling and doesn't make you a bad person.
it feels so much better to be happy for others and still be driven to achieve your dreams
Girl you took the thoughts right out of my mind and the words right out of my mouth!!
@experience please stop. It is.
@experience you’re the reason why so many people do evil things because of their jealousy and envy. Because they’re told it’s a terrible abnormal emotion and that they’re evil for having it. So they feel guilty and ashamed and suppress it rather than confront & release it. Please stop demonizing certain emotions. As humans we have more than two emotions ( happy & sad). None is better than the other. They all serve a purpose to help us evolve into our best selves. God does not judge.
@experience That’s a lie. This false narrative of not DARING to have negative feelings needs to honestly stop. Life is filled with both. Also, you’re only gaslighting other people and invalidating their feelings when their emotions stem from something deeper that they must heal from. It’s not just white and black. Life and humans are much more complex than that. It is normal to have negative emotions, even jealousy. Humans are not perfect and neither are you.
2018 i was dating a guy and making plans to get married once we graduated and then he cheated with my " best friend" and they got engaged 6 months later. Thanks to your video i just realized why this still hurts. I want that so much. To get married and have kids. And seeing this happinness in their lifes hurts twice as bad
I am terribly sorry that has happened to you, that is beyond messed up. I hope that you find your own happiness soon
They both won’t be happy for long. Karma will be paying them a visit.
Karma is about to bite those asses… all you have to do is stay pretty and wait 😈
That is awful and I’m wishing you all the best.
I’m so sorry, you’ll find your one
Please stop watching them. If you can see them on social media then block them. Prioritise your mental health.
Your content is so high quality. Whether I agree with everything or not, you’re always presenting subjects that need to be discussed, because they’re more common than not. It’s just NO ONE is talking about it.
this exactly! she’s filling in an important gap
I think it's just too hard for people to imagine having every area of your life going so horribly wrong for so long. For most people it's just one part of life that's not going great, or some parts but only for a while. That whole "silver lining" thing. But to constantly live in pain because nothing is working out, to be doing so badly despite all your efforts and trying and trying and trying again for years and years and years; it takes all the energy you have just to keep going, to get up and get dressed. Then to constantly be expected to be happy FOR people when you don't remember what happiness even feels like, it's a lot. I don't talk about my problems to others all the time because I don't want them to feel drained. But it would be nice if people could realize that it works both ways; having to hear about other people's happiness all the time can be draining as well. It's not that you don't want someone you care about to have good things, it's just that being without good things yourself for so long causes a kind of numbness. It's not "negativity". The words "negative" and "positive" are far too overused. There's a judgment in them (one is "bad", the other is "good") that negates people's experience and feelings. Being unhappy isn't "negative". It's just someone's reality.
Get out my head! I swear,its like everyone in the comments has been spying on my Twitter,my journal and my tear soaked pillows at night,lol. I had been struggling with feeling grateful,not comparing,being a late bloomer and if Mr.Right will Ever come. At this point,Mr.OK will do, lol. I havent been this dejected since I was in Junior High,like I totally regressed.
You literally just explained the past 5 years of my life. And what makes it worse is ppl wanna constantly talk about their achievements but NO ONE wants to listen to you failures or depression. They just tell you to “think positive” blah blah. Then when you detach yourself from the world & shut down, you’re “funny-acting.” Alot of ppl don’t understand what it’s like to go through struggle your ENTIRE childhood, get tossed into the real world with the wolves & even despite your best efforts, you struggle EVEN WORSE in your adulthood! It’s literally the depression olympics 2.0, round 2. You just can’t catch a break…
@@babyg7796 The problem there is that people only hear about the success stories so that becomes the norm (and about a million hashtags). Very rarely do you read about someone in a shitty situation that didn't get better. They're always about how someone made it out or turned it around. Hell, if you lose your legs you better start training for a marathon because "500 inspirational movies". Not that it's not a good thing if someone manages to find a way out of their struggle, but putting that up on a pedestal as THE example of how to be does a disservice to the people who are just fighting to stay afloat.
So much of this is about timing and knowing your audience. Like, if I had just gotten a fabulous haircut, I wouldn't rave about that to a friend who was going through chemo and losing her hair. And someone who has just been dumped likely does not want to hear about your romantic Valentine's Day plans. That said, I spent so many years listening to my friends vent about different hardships they were going through (divorce, lay-offs, family strife, losing loved ones, addiction, etc.) that I truly am happy for them when they win. And on occasions when I win, I know they're happy for me too. But yes, it takes time and gaining maturity and perspective to get there.
I agree with your comment!!!
My ex friend of 14 years couldn’t be happy for me without being fake. She deleted herself from my life. She was the friend who got all the guys everywhere while I was invisible, had the relationship for years, the job, etc. I was always happy for her, the best wingman, supportive, and open about when I felt envious. They broke up a few months ago after 10 years and she didn’t reciprocate how I treated her. She was really shitty to my surprise. I’m better off I guess. Just very disappointed
Your channel is gonna blow up your content is great I’m happy I’m here early☺️❤️
Sameee!
Same!! I'm so intrigued!
I agree whole-heartedly. True, authentic conversation. I love your perspective. Glad I ran across this channel too.
I agree!
Agreed🙌🏾
It’s so odd that we just went through a world wide loss and yet we have immediately expected people to snap back to being “positive vibes only” and having enough money to worry about what designer is trending.
I know sisters who are not happy for each others successes. It is like they think that because something good happens in their sis life it takes away good things from their lives. When those around me do well I'm happy for them because it's real life proof that it can happen for me too. The only time I'm not happy or feel tinge of jealousy is when I'm working towards a goal & I'm struggling but find out someone seem to succeed without even trying. And also when I'm not living my life to the best of my abilities. When I'm depressed, lazy, unorganized & procrastinating.
Same thing here:)
Many women have these feelings, but we stay stuck when we don’t want to grow. Because it’s actually selfish not to be happy for others. It’s not always about us.
Same thing here!!
" Your lives were never supposed to be the same" BIG FACTS. This video is a whole therapy session. I grew up watching Living Single and thought my life with my friends would be similar. The truth is we are all on different paths ,and that has been hard to accept especially coming into my 30s. Thank you for putting my hurts and confusion at times into words. It helps when you don't feel alone and can see a different way to move past the struggle of comparison.
I hope you get your wishes and dreams!!
I'm always helping others, but my life is in shambles. I get jealous because people have been on a cruise or Disney or something fun and I've never been to any of that.
What’s stopping you from going ?
I love this perspective and damn is it such a lowkey hard thing to contend with when regarding Societal Peer Pressure to succeed or achieve according to fixed standards. I too had to unfollow a friend of mine from social media because frankly he just annoyed me with his constant need to humble brag about his life but in person when I would see him we were good. But your emotional energy matters and you have to protect that.
Condolences for your loss as well regarding your child to be. 🙏
Your friend who is happy for others despite going through hardships is a good person. I wish more people were like her. I have always been happy for my loved ones despite the hardships I'm going through because I want them to feel supported just like I want to be supported. But I have to keep reminding myself that most people don't have a lot of empathy. This is why I've chosen not to have too many friends. There are too many people in the world who want to rain on other's parade just because their life isn't going the way they want it to go. But when their life IS going good, those same people expect everyone to stop what they're doing and celebrate them. Selfish, self-centered behavior is rampant.
She is. I have learned alot from her.
Nah. Sick and tired of this bs. She deserves to be selfish
Bonnie, I totally agree with you
"I feel like I'm always going to a celebration for someone else, and I don't get my own celebrations, and it hurts me to have to do it again."
Girl, I've been binging your videos for the past three days, and your channel is SO refreshing in the sea of toxic positivity and vague platitudes. I like how you give concrete and personal details that we can all relate to on some level; and don't sugarcoat it. Society is so good at convincing us to fake it until we make it; that we can't even be authentic about our negative emotions and give space for them. I also like how you address the other side of things; with empathy and understanding on both views. And your humor is great!
The worst case of comparisons is when you have a friend or loved one who has bad habits but is succeeding before you anyway. Like I had a friend who had zero work ethic and would quit jobs not even a month in (not even a 2 week notice) and would get hired constantly meanwhile I have not had a real job all my life, just summer youth jobs.
I can relate I'm in my early 30s and saying I'm bitter about my relationship status is an understatement . I spent most of my 20s with 1 guy who was my first boyfriend . I adored and worshipped him. It was a good relationship and we seemed like the perfect couple. He started working and it seemed and felt like I was the last thing he wanted to deal with I tried so hard to do things that I thought would please him in the end I have up called it quits and bitterness settled in. I left church bcz he would bring his new girlfriend to the service and I would be fighting tears and running nose in the church. With time I have healed from the pain I think but anger is still lacking in the shadows . I was a firm Christian but I have lost faith and trust in God because I felt he abandoned me . During the time of breakup everything in my life just hit a low . I was diagnosed with fibroids , my mother and her husband were emotionally and verbally abusive , at my workplace they were trying to find ways to get me fired . It's been 5 years I managed to change jobs I try to fight fibroids naturally it has led me to be anaemic so I need to figure out how to balance a healthy meal plan that guarantees healthy body. My mother and I are no longer on regular speaking terms I can't even trust her with my smile. Good guys in my 30s I've come to realise they are super hard to find most people are either in real relationships getting married or having babies . One of my old friends was trying to reach out telling me how she is married with 2 kids, God has answered her prayers her life is going just as she wanted it . And I'm wondering does God have a selective who he cares about only some of us have to be our own stronghold and make peace with circumstances so that we don't become crazy
💗💗💗
You are loved, you are seen, you are heard ❤️❤️
I love this comment. Sending you love and support
God loves more than you know. I hope that you are in a good place in your life right now. I'll be pray for you?
I'm in kind of a similar situation, down to the no longer being a Christian, for similar reasons. I hope you're in a better place right now, I know it's hard. Sending love your way
Envy is a completely valid emotion. It’s what you do with it that is the kicker. I personally think it takes so much strength to admit that you feel like you aren’t happy for people in your life because of where you are. It’s part of being human. A lot of people don’t want to show their shadow self because it makes them feel guilty as you say. However coping with envy and setting boundaries to protect yourself is healthy and part of life. I’m fortunate that I have friends who are considerate and who can respect that sometimes it is hard to put envy aside and be happy for even those we cherish most. I try to be considerate and humble about my success. I share it with pride but I also know that there is a limit and that I care about my friends feelings too.
@IfWhiningAtProblemsWorks, WhyDoCorporationsLobby? A very interesting response and I absolutely agree, it’s hard to unpack those subconscious beliefs!
I have a friend who is orthodox Jewish and it’s really interesting because she was telling me how in her community people don’t announce good news about themselves. For instance she said she has family members who will literally get pregnant and not tell anybody sometimes not even their inlaws and they won’t even buy things for the baby. They have this belief that you shouldn’t say good news out loud as not to make other people feel bad or jealous of you that doing this brings bad fortune to your life. It’s part of being modest and it’s just so interesting because it’s so different to how most people behave. Because of social media there’s this constant desire for people to show off the things that they have and to talk about the great things that are happening in their life and they rarely think of how that makes other people feel. And yes people should be happy for you and jealousy is not a good thing however with social media people share the good and not the bad so it’s like are we sharing to share OR are we sharing to show off? I love this video and this topic just food for thought and great message
So evil eye lol
Interesting 🤔
In Islam it exist too. It’s the evil eye
Jo I agree with what you said. Sometimes when good things happen in your life, it's best to keep quiet about it because it might make another individual feel bad.
Privacy is underrated.
I love your almond shaped eyes!
I think it’s perfectly normal to have feelings of jealousy, envy or inadequacy when a friend accomplishes or gets something you don’t have and want. However, the issue comes when the jealous person lets their feelings negatively affect how they treat the successful friend.
I’ve had no less than 3 friendships that have ended, because I had something they wanted, and they got jealous and started being rude to me, so I let them go. People like this are toxic, and it effects my mental health to keep them around. I hope they learn to become better versions of themselves.
Yeah you gotta reel it in. It can make you feel bitter.
Jealousy will reveal itself where ever it exists. It's just a matter of time. Don't make the mistake of thinking that jealousy is in any way healthy nor acceptable. If you are jealous of your friend, YOU have a problem that you need to deal with. I wouldn't want anyone around me who was jealous of me, but they were just keeping their jealousy in check to prevent it from rearing its ugly head at the wrong time. I don't think you would want that either.
I had a horrible time with this when my mother died (she was the last of my close relatives) and my friends were having kids and getting married while I was laying her to rest. You know I was a bitch on fire… I was angry and sad and anyone who had ears knew it.
I don’t feel a least bit bad. Life I hard sometimes. It just is and I am soooo conscientious of others people and this sort of thing.
I'm really sorry to hear about your mother
@@Neimm oh thank you ❤️
Sorry for your loss.🙏🏾
@IfWhiningAtProblemsWorks, WhyDoCorporationsLobby? where can i learn more about this? Was this taken from a book or something?
Please accept my condolences @Bubbly
Wow! This is so true. It is easy to be happy for others when you have it all!
I am in a good place now, but I remember when I was working at an office, and the receptionists was constantly talking about her trips and things her husband would buy🙈 I could not stop myself from feeling jealous. Now, I feel happy about other people’s achievements, but, yeah, I am in a better place!
I needed this video because this is something I struggle with, badly. When I do cheer for people, it's fake. But I want it to be genuine and I don't know how. It really makes me feel like a sucky human. I'm just so glad I'm not the only one because for awhile I felt like I was.
May I ask, why? Why can't you cheer for people? I really would like to know because I have never understood it. Thank you in advance.
@@JaniNight I honestly do not know and it’s something that I’ve been trying to figure out for years. The only thing I can think of is feeling left behind or feeling as if those certain people don’t deserve it which isn’t fair. Or another reason could be my anxiety holds me back a lot and I could feel jealous of people who don’t have the anxiety and who are able to take control of their lives and have it go their way.
What I do know is, I’m not completely unhappy for my friends… I’m just confused for lack of better words.
@T Thanks for replying. It really helps me to get a different perspective. We are humans and I understand that these feelings are part of our experience. Thank you again.
“Life is not going the way I want it to go, and it hurts” - powerful quote
This is the most helpful video on this subject I have come across. So many people I know are getting married, buying a house/moving in with someone and getting their best jobs meanwhile I'm living with my mom again, I've yet to experience a relationship at 28 and have gone back to school in hopes to change my career path. It hurts every time another person is talking about looking at homes or ring shopping etc. I really want to be happy for them and that guilt over not being happy makes it feel worse.
I’m really glad I found your channel, it’s lowkey therapeutic. Can’t wait to see the channel’s growth 💕
I agree. She is authentic and genuine
I totally agree! and relatable.
I just started the video and you might have said this already but I have learned that it’s ok to be happy for someone else’s achievement and be a little sad it isn’t happening to you. It doesn’t make you a bad person 💕.
It doesn't, it makes you human
I'll be honest this is becoming one of my favorite channels.
I’ll admit I didn’t fully understand when someone couldn’t be happy for other people…but you broke it down so well, you’re quite articulate. You do speak on uncomfortable topics/emotions, your content is original.
And now you’re an up and coming TH-camr!! How many people in your circle can say that?!
Envy and jealousy are normal emotions. It is what you do with them that matters. I always stop and get my mind right when I feel this way. I look at what I might learn from a successful person to apply to my life. When it comes to those I love...I am ALWAYS happy for them. When they shine..I shine. A few years ago I had gotten sick and it caused major financial issues including getting my car repossessed. I spoke to a close friend the very next day right as she and her husband were looking at new homes. She felt bad and wanted to apologize because I was going through so much. I told her that wasn't necessary because I was happy for her. In the end we were both blessed...she purchased a beautiful home and I bought a even hotter car!!! We are still friends and we want the best for each other. HATERS are never blessed.
Ok Steph, I just stumbled across your channel this evening, when your now viral "pretty privilege" video showed up in my suggestions and after binge watching about 5 or 6 of your other videos in one evening, all I have to say is wow! I've never resonated so much with someone on this platform and it's so refreshing. Your honesty, authenticity, and the way you're able to articulate yourself and your experiences are a breath of fresh air. I'm 35 and I have been feeling many of things you speak about but never knew exactly how to express them. I'm so happy that you may have potentially discovered your purpose and created a safe space for so many women. I hope you continue to put out more awesome content. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Saaaame!! Found the pretty privilege video this morning and my goodness what a day it has been
Absolutely love her and how well she articulates the things I've found most difficult to admit even to myself. A gem of a woman.
Your right what you said at the end. It takes a highly intelligent and highly evolved person to actually be happy for others.. Its a skill that you learn overtime... Its not that it takes away the pain but you realize that your life is your life... Nobody is you and that is your power... Love this Video..
Your channel deserves way more views. Thank you for speaking on the things that are really taboo to say in our society. Sometimes i feel like there is no room for these raw and very real emotions. Keep being honest about your experiences, it’s inspiring
i really don't know how her content isn't way more popular than it is.. more people need to see examples of evaluating and being real with oneself
Don't let anyone make you feel stupid or bad about these topics you discuss. They are valid. I am often times ashamed to let people into my true feelings because people pretend, judge you, and label you. Thank you for speaking for the rest of us. I Love it here. Literally, hiding from my bf so I can focus and binge watch your videos.
at first i felt a little defensive, because i've been in that position where something great comes up for me, and the people around me aren't happy for me. but then i've also been in situations where a friend has had something come up for them, and i felt they went far beyond 'keeping me updated' to the point where it felt more like they were just rubbing it in my face. i couldn't agree with you more that people need to be tactful about the way they inform others of their achievements. there's a fine line between sharing your achievements and keeping it to a brief, humble minimum, and then just totally showing off, going on and on and rubbing it in everyone's face.
This is something i really struggle with. It is REALLY hard for me to be happy for others. I can't understand why i feel this way. I truly hate myself for it. This topic is so needed. The toxic positivity out there is so draining. Your channel is refreshing because it's human
I feel you. It's like I just want to take it out of my body
I struggle with this too especially when it comes to my career as an artist. I am surrounded by artists that are successfully living off their art and I feel like I am getting ignored. I get opportunities here and there but I'm at the bottom and trying really hard.
Tumblr, twitter, TH-cam, Facebook groups. Get out there and advertise your art on social media. You can't selll something if people don't know about it
I also think having friends who check in and you can genuinely be honest with, helps. Like we need to normalize telling our close friends when we feel envious and talk through these things. Then you guys can comfort and support each other.
I'm torn on this. I've honestly been happy for people who are genuinely doing well. But far too often people seek praise by bragging, lying, cheating. And sometimes, I simply don't agree with your choices & shouldn't have to be labeled a "hater" for not cheering you on. Far too often I've applauded folks for things that caused me a twinge of envy only to not get the same energy when I do well. I've even kept some accomplishments to myself. That sad reality is that there are too many people who are more compelled to compete with our accomplishments that never come to your realization. My therapist tries to convince me that I'll attract a different type of people when I'm further along w reparenting & trusting, but for now I'm tired of the unreciprocated cheerleading.
I’m too scared to even seem to be too happy and content this info attract people liek u said as well. It’s something im still working on
@@markigirl2757 the struggle is real! But I think our awareness is the first step. Sis, I'm happy to hear that you are happy, even too happy, at least some times! It's also OK to gloat a little that you have a happiness that is desired. 😌
I rarely comment on TH-cam, but just wanted to send some encouragement. I've watched nearly all of your videos in a single day. Your honesty is a gift, and your point of view is so important.
Deontology, a sense of decorum, appropriateness. These come to mind. Sometimes indeed it's not appropriate to be all smiles and cheerful. For example in a place like a hospice where people are going to spend their last days and around their family. It goes back to etiquette. We need more of it in society.
Nothing more powerful than being honest and authentic. You're a great story teller. ❤
I’m addicted to your channel!! Love your content ❤️❤️
Yea she’s so solid!!! I love her content and subbed immediately!!
First comment yah!!! And as I’m getting older I’m realizing that I can be happy for other people but, I start wishing I had what they had.
I’m gay and dark skin and not the best looking man either. I’m having a hard time finding a relationship and when I see my friends happy and putting in the work to make things work I can’t help but, wish why I can’t have that when I’m just as capable.
I swear you and I are like minded. I’m finally focusing on myself but, it is really lonely when you gaining all this success without someone to share it with.. is it because of my dark skin, or because I am not cute, or because I am not masculine??
And yes that woman was right because she knew her triggers and she told her friend right now that she can’t focus on that. I respect that
I love the topics you choose. You are introspective and it shows.
OMG!! This is what I’m going through right now. The way I’m feeling like the worst person ever right now. Cos I isolate myself now cos I have nothing to tell so I can’t take what other ppl have, thanks for this
i really cannot emphasize how helpful your videos are. you talk about difficult topics with so much tact, where many others would employ shame, while also giving productive advice. thank you sooo much 😭❤️
Also, I truly believe your channel is gonna blow up, it’s going to have a positive domino effect on everything else in your life. You’re going to upload a video one day announcing your engagement and pregnancy. My God mom had her first biological child after 42/43 y/o. And she married her sons father about 6 years later.
wow the part about decentralizing yourself in others' narratives and managing expectations accordingly is very, very wise, and rarely said! we are not the protagonist of others' stories.
When you said "you are only as sick as your secrets" wooooh
THAT IS A WORD
I just want to say I love you steph 🥺 thanks for being open and talking about real authentic topics. You might be the only TH-camr that I’ll watch the whole video 😂 glad I found you.
Great points. I also feel like social media doesn’t help with comparison.
Social media can definitely help instigate for sure
Another great video! I can relate to the friend who had to take care of her parents in her twenties. Life was at a hault for me for my college years and no one around me could possibly understand. Shoot not even people I know double my age have had to watch a parent die slowly yet. But I'm going to hold their hand every step of the way when that day comes! ! Now I feel soooo self conscious about not having my bachelor's and it's hard for me to be happy deep down when my friends are getting more degrees and getting employed in their field. Even ppl younger then me getting their masters. Ahhh it's so hard. But I really want to evolve in this area. I am beyond blessed in many ways and I focus a lot on just trying to be grateful. But, maybe I should also try what you said and just admit to myself.... This. freaking. sucks. And I'm mad about it.
You know what's funny, as someone who has a masters, I forget I even have it because Iife just seems so hardddd. When I see allmy friends getting married and having kids, I sort of devalue what Ive accomplished until I see posts like this. May God bless you on your lifes path
a halt*
I don't want to sound insensitive, but degrees don't matter that much. Do what most bw are failing at: Get married THEN have children. That is true success.
@@earlem9771 you can't decide what is true success for other ppl. Yes a healthy marriage and kids will be nice but you can't force those things when it's not the right time for you...
@@tishataray I didn’t decide that. God did. Women were literally made to be paired with a man and have children. Obviously you can do more in life than this, but this is what God wanted.
Your videos are so comforting. There are so many spaces on the internet that are supposed to be safe but the fact that you have created a safe space that rejects toxic positivity genuinely helps me feel like I can grow when it comes to the things that I have issues with that I dont want to admit that I have issues with
I’ve only recently discovered your channel but I just wanted to say your beautiful personality shines through and your ability to be vulnerable and reflective is amazing! You are such a beautiful person and deserve so much!
I'm so excited to watch this because I feel like as a small youtuber, I compare myself to others and just seeing everyone else blow up and grow can get really hard at times.
and also just my life in general, I've always felt second fiddle and have to be happy for others
I think it is important to sometimes pretend and be HUMBLE especially around people going through a hard time... there is a time and a place to talk about your victories... periodT. U are not going to go up to a poor person and flaunt ur wealth right? it is the same energy.. same concept
Your videos help me so much 🥺 I’m 25 and feeling stuck in a very unfulfilling teaching career and it’s hard to be the cheerleader when you feel like you’re always losing, but I am where I am in my journey for a reason and I just have to keep seeking my own joy and let other people’s happiness inspire me
After suffering with envy all my life, I surrendered. It made me humble. And I realize that other people are just as special as me. We are all children of the universe, or God, whatever you wanna call it. To give space for others to shine is a transcendental experience. A melting of our ego. Admiring makes us learn with others. Life is a game, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. And to learn how to lose makes you a winner, in my opinion. I'm sorry about my english
Not going to lie, i had an epiphany yesterday & realized I’m not a jealous person, but I am an envious person. I’m already an introvert but I think this why I prefer to isolate and do things alone EVEN MORE! I truly have 0 idea on how to successfully complete one task/goal after years of long-suffering so instead of “faking it” I just don’t come around. This may sound bad, but at least I’m honest with myself🤷🏾♀️
I love your uncensored honesty. All the things we all experience and think about but so well articulated
Wow! You have some amazing friends. If I had people like that around, I wouldn't feel so lonely...
When I tell you I am so glad I stubbled across your channel words can not describe! I needed to see this video for several reasons! One being that I’m currently going through this and have been going through it for about the last 2 to 3 years. Last year I lost a friendship with a close friend to this very thing! I had a hard time with hearing all of her good news, and I didn’t have any. During that particular time I had lost my sister, had broken up with my then boyfriend, and I had a crappy job to top it all off and here she was receiving all the good news.. a great job opportunity, a new vehicle and her marriage was mending with her husband and so much more. I eventually had to cut ties with her, because I had a hard time being genuinely happy for her and I felt so bad about it because I couldn’t be honest with her and tell her why, but I had to learn to be honest with myself about why I felt that way and the truth was because I wasn’t happy with my own life. Being unmarried, no kids and I was not where I wanted to be career wise. It’s unfortunate our friendship ended because of my own insecurities, but I’m doing my best to over come the feelings of “lack there of” move forward and be genuinely happy for whomever is currently in my life now.
I don't personally struggle with being happy for people im close with. I find myself being envious of those loose connections like former coworkers or people I graduated college with. I feel the pressure to keep up and not being labeled as a failure which I think plays into not being "happy" for those people. I dont always react emotionally that way, but it definitely comes up when i'm feeling stagnant in my own life. I think its more of a reflection of my life than actually being jealous. I appreciate this channel bc you speak honestly in a way not often displayed.
I always could genuinely be happy for others but despite that, I ended a lot of friendships. The thing was and is that I'm embarrassed for myself, I can't stand showing myself like that to people, also I feel like I'm no fit to them, I'm boring and depressing to be around
Your channel is a breath of fresh air, ironically considering the often hard topics you cover. But people rarely talk about these issues and they affect so many. Happy to see your channel growing!
Recognizing, and honoring our emotions, especially the uncomfortable ones, is so necessary in order to move through them, and heal. Thank you for your honesty. We all need more of that in our lives. 💙
Wow. I really needed to hear this. It’s been really hard to hear about my mom’s new relationship because I’ve felt she’s a lot less available to me. She’s so happy, and it’s so hard to be happy for her, because I feel like I’m losing her. And she’s talking about marriage, meanwhile I’ve been engaged for 10 months and wedding planning has been a huge struggle. I am acknowledging the lack it makes me feel, and will work on decentralizing myself in my idea of her life.
I love you!! I was really hating myself for the envy that I feel towards one of my friends who appears to be having fun all the time ⏲️btw I have tons going on! Can't figure out why I'm triggered by her.
Weird how our human emotions are... I love how she explained that we should separate ourselves from the person. I'm not using the exact words but that was kind of what she said❤
This video was great for me specially in a time where I had to "breakup" with my 10+ year bbf and realizing at my age that none of the friends I thought were going to be with me forever are actually here right now. We all just grew in very different directions and our life's are not as similar as they used to be. I'm always happy to hear good news from then but at the same time it's hard to know we're not as good friends anymore.
Same.
I love how refreshing your page is so honest. Yet not an victimized or powerless way. You gave me a new way at looking at things where I can see the honesty of things and still be ok. Very good.
I love your ability to be so vulnerable. It takes a lot of courage to be open and honest about certain topics like this that make people uncomfortable to discuss. You’re amazing girl.✨
I sometimes want to feel sorry for you based on some of your video content. However, there's no need to feel sorry. YOU ARE THE BOMB....girl!!
You are extremely articulate and speak so eloquently even when you say it was hard for you to do so. Keep doing what you're doing and be well.
Your videos are like a free therapy session 💗💖...anyway i think we should cheer people on because sometimes we have no idea what they went through to get there...everyone has highs and lows
The truth of the matter is we’ve all been jealous of someone before. We all felt entitled or felt like someone should have what they have especially if you come from the same background. Good video.
I think you need your own show on tv!!!!!
That is the whole solid truth had a lump forming in my throat the whole time.
Everyone thinks acknowledging your pain is you being negative or agreeing to stay in that dark place. It's not. I think pain can be an addiction to we become dependent on bad things happening to us but with any other addiction relief program the first step is admitting you have a problem.
Saying yes I'm hurting and it's effecting my quality of life is the first step in combating your demons and owning your emotions rather them owning you. Ok now I'm crying lol but it feels good.
I really dig your channel 😊 your running at full speed and from a member of the unseen nation don't stop girl!
I really love what you have to share about life! Your experiences are so meaningful to me and I relate to a lot of the challenges you mention so thank you for saying it out loud! I love hearing experiences from people who have lived through life and have had many experiences. I’m young so I haven’t experienced much because I’ve been so confined most of my life so hearing advice and wisdom is so helpful! Thank you for creating 💗
It is refreshing to have someone be so honest about how we have all felt at some point but girl please read or listen to Abraham Hicks. That really shifted my life 🙏🏻 I hope you give it a shot ! ☺️🙏🏻
So understand this video. Got a really helpful way to look at life. That pressure to be happyfor others when you are not in the best place yourself is oppressive and manipulative. The year I dropped out of college was the year my class was graduating. Sis if I tell you I was mourning a huge loss and I just was not happy myself. I couldn't fake it. I just unfollowed everyone so that I could heal in peace and plan my life with no pressure from myself to look like others.i was not going to be happy for others when there was no happiness left in me. I healed and later I was able to go and like their pictures and stuff. That was one of the best things I did for myself in this life.
please never stop posting! i love your candor. this is the best channel i’ve happened upon in a while.
I really love this. I love that you gave suggestions on how to overcome this. You’re still very “positive”. You’re just real that we’re also human.
I love this. The reality is that being hally for others is hard but it's possible - the steps you gave are great xx
Girl this content is golden girl🙌🙌🙌🙌 You don't know how powerful this content is and how much it is needed. That conversation is real about having friends that are hitting major milestones every year and you feel like you are being left behind.
Just found your channel, and so far…hooked! Keep it going.
This was so real. And if I'm honest I have felt this way alot of times. Sometimes people don't mean to be jealous it's a feeling and if it is not taken care of or addressed it can be harmful to others and to yourself. I wish we could normalize it a little more and not make people feel bad or wrong for feeling that way, jealousy I think is something we all experience at some point and usually have to do with not feeling content where we are or feeling someone has something that we can't have. Right now Sometimes it hard for me to see people half my age have what I want or are doing way better than me in certain areas of life. I own up and I just to work towards finding what will fulfill me. I love how you mention we all on different paths and journeys in life.
I’m binging your videos! You are so smart and beautiful💕
I'm so grateful I found your channel. I'm in my early 20's and I feel like everyone is passing me but your video has encouraged me , and shown me that what I'm feeling is not negative. I appreciate you speaking on some tough topics and looking forward to more great content.
I'm glad you are able to find that safe friend to talk to who would know how to process such emotions at 16:17. I'm now learning which friends are good for that. Also figuring out how to have consistent female friendship
I find your content so refreshing. You talk about things that we often think but don’t say. You are appreciated.
i bet you're a good teacher
I thought that!
I am truly enjoying your channel and the content you're bringing to us. Also I think it's how people respond to your news. I remember a "friend" saying to me when I broke up with someone a couple years ago, she was like "OH I KNEW IT", am I was like you knew what?? that this wasn't a happy go happy relationship. and honestly I was shocked she said that because she literally disappeared throughout my relationship and basically she was never happy for me.. and I can understand at that time her marriage was breaking up, but everything is in it's season, and I never claimed to be "super happy", I was just surviving. If she really wanted to know how my relationship was going...she could have asked instead of assuming she knew. Just because you see us on the social, doesn't mean we're happy, just because you see me showing up for work everyday, doesn't mean I like it at that job etc. We should never assume something, like you said, decentralized and ask yourself why these feelings are arising in you...Im loving this page!!!💞🧡💖
I am an empath, so I can sense when someone is gloating vs embracing an accomplishment. The thing is that, most people are less happy than they appear and reciprocate toxic positivity. My suggestion is to stay humble and practice gratitude. You can't take it with you.
Jealousy and the act of comparison is NOT inherently evil. It’s what you do with these emotions that can make or break your character. If you just find out you can never have children and your best friend finds out they’re expecting; it WILL hurt. It’s not evil and sensitivity is absolutely required. Life hits hard and it’s normal to feel lacking in compared to others. Just try to get like them or accept where you are
I said this earlier this year! Learning to be happy for others when you are dormant is an Artform. You dont want to lose your friends or family because its hard to be excited for their good news and you always in the Shitpile.
Put yourself first you have your own personal happiness to think about
Yaa you said right, many don't talk like u gave example when he lost his job....and this video helped me some or other way ''everyone lives are not same''....with me is the case where I feel jealous of others success and achievement cause from last 2 years I have faced failure only and got so down in my life that sometimes i think to end it and when i start thinking about my dreams I am like I messed up all....somewhere I think i get so so so down and feel depressing because from child I have seen achievement in my career path.....
I am struggling with being happy for my ex and his business. Yes he’s thriving and becoming successful but I’m having a hard time since I helped him so much to be where he is at. I pushed him to start his thing and he all of a sudden discards me. It’s hard😣
You don't HAVE to be happy when you're not. There's too much emphasis on having to be virtuous all the time. It doesn't sound like he was very good to you in the end. You can feel any way you want or need to.
It's okay to embrace being human and all that entails. It's okay to feel hurt and envious and angry because you are human and emotions are part of what we are. We are built this way through hundreds of thousands of years. Face your emotions and you will find they tend to diminish as you embrace them🥰
Belen avila why do you not start your own busines
You were the come up woman
I get what you mean girl, you helped him and doesn’t seem acknowledged the fact you helped him but you can also start your own business you already demonstrated your wroth by actually helping another person with business.