When I moved into Maryhaven in 1993 mom really missed me a lot. I would go and visit every other weekend. Mom enjoyed visiting me too. Now I go to her house and help her with cleaning and grocery shopping. I do this twice a week. It makes me feel good.
That little girl is amazing... She doesn't have a problem looking after her older brother...she just does it with love,.....Good on her....What a beautiful heart
You are not abandoning your lovely boys you are giving them quality of a different world. Because you will be more relaxed you will enjoy them when you get together. You are such special parents.
The young girl who helps care for her big brothers... oh my gosh that melted my heart completely. What a wonderful heart. She seemed like she just didn’t mind it at all & that she was happy to help. She will be a better person for it when she’s older too, just from having those experiences ❤️
I was placed in Mary Haven’s residential program 1993. It’s very nice. My mom did the right thing. Mom wanted me to be well cared for and safe. I was 20 years old when I was placed. I am now 45 years old and doing great.
Jen Wall, It has to be hard on a mother, I can see how she would have a lot of guilt. Such a hard decision to make. You seem to a good attitude about it, It would make things a little easier on your mom. I'm glad for you, it makes your life so much better and happier. God bless you 💖💖💖🙋♀️
You're not abandoning your disabled adult children by placing them in some sort of housing program, you're giving your kid a chance at having a life worth living.
I think judging people on their decisions in life, without having lived whatever has led up to this decision, deserves more consideration. You who judge, have you ever lived with children with this degree in this disability? In any case, who are we to judge..... Thank you to the mothers for sharing their story.
Having your children who have special needs move into group homes is the right decision. Just like neurotypical children grow up and move out on their own to do their thing. My foster sister lives in a group home and loves it! There are 4 roommates. The organization gets to know each client prior to moving in and tries to find roommates that have similar interests. Basically, they want the clients to have roommates they'd choose to live with. They can't always do that right away, but within a few years, they get everything right. This home's had these 4 folks there for over 30 years. Thy are a family, too. All 4 families agree that our family member has grown up and become so much more independent living in a group home.
I never really thought about this side of having a special needs child. I can see how difficult it would be for a parent to make that decision even if it is the right one. The guilt would be insane and I am sure people would judge harshly but it is hard for someone to judge if they are not in that situation. These are such strong families shown and I hope that everything is well for them!
Mary R. I wonder how her mom is, in the video it said she was legally blind. That young girl is wonderful, she has more character at her age than some adults ever have. I hope she has some really good things happen for her. 💖💖💖🙋♀️
I was placed into residential care ,I did not have a disability but my mother and grandmother did not want me. Being sexual abuse at my home and I think that was the greatest thing done for me. But they do miss you. But to be honest I did not miss them whatsoever. I forgave them and I like them but I made my life worth living. I am happy she did what was best for them both. She gave her son the best life that he deserves and needs.
You all have such amazing documentaries. I’m surprised you don’t have more subscribers. Thank you for exposing the world to different lives and different people with such beauty and dignity. 💜💜
I felt the same as you, I hurt so much, myself and my Husband love our daughter who’s level 3 Autism, we try very hard she’s 30 now and lives in supportive living, I used to get very upset when my friends would talk about there daughters, as I couldn’t talk about mine, the pain I felt was crushing and I used to feel sick, I still get a knot in my stomach thinking of my Daughter, but I feel guilty, Shireen doesn’t she’s happy with her life, I feel she was robbed of her life, I can’t and will never understand why this happened to my beautiful Daughter, I think about her when I wake up in The morning and going to bed at night, she’s very well cared for we’re she lives, she likes her hot and cold drinks and loves listening to her music, Shireen shares this house with another girl the same age but she’s not Autistic she needs help but not as much help, I understand how you feel you have to put your trust in other people to look after your child, I found that very hard to do, I still phone my Daughters house every day and night and I have her home with us every second weekend, your Son is a beautiful Child, don’t feel guilty you did the right thing for your son, your an amazing Mum, I’ve also got a lovely Son he’s 25 this year he’s an amazing Brother to his Sister, Also the family with the twin’s An amazing Mum, the boys will be fine, they will be happy and I’m sure the staff will be amazing with your sons
My sister had a child with special needs and she kept him as long as she could until her health started deteriorating, she passed away about 3 years ago and when she passed away the father of her son got full custody of him and he now lives with his father. She was a wonderful mother and i wish everyday that she was still here to see him grow and over come challenges.
What a horrible decision to have to make. I definitely to not fault these moms for the decisions they are having to make. It is a 24/7 job and times 2 for the twins!!! Thank God for the little sister because her help has probably kept the boys home fo a little longer. I promise I don’t mean anything negative from that!!!!! These moms are truly super moms to me!!!!! The emotional and physical stress on them would bring many of us to our knees much sooner. The fact that the mom had to abandon her son in order to get help should never happen!!!! She should have been given ample help way before that. But, I am glad they finally found a residential home for him. It would be horrible having to worry that the baby be separated and out of his reach and having to constantly worry if he could get out of the home and take off. My heart goes out to these families and I think they have done wonderful!!!! I pray they don’t feel guilty because they did what was right for all of the children involved and themselves. It is absolutely draining!!!!!! God Bless these lovely families and the remarkable sister for all her love and help with her brothers🙏🏽✝️🙏🏽✝️🙏🏽✝️🙏🏽✝️❤️❤️❤️😘❤️❤️❤️🥰❤️❤️❤️
I work as an in home carer for people with developmental/intellectual disabilities. I have worked for 15 years. It can be very tedious at times, however, I don’t look at it as a “job”, rather as if they are like family. Sadly, in a lot of cases, the carer knows the person better than their actual family does.
This is ridiculous that this is a legal issue!! These poor parents can’t keep living this way. Around the clock care for teenagers with such massive needs is hard and almost impossible.
Your awesome!! It takes a special person to work in this field and I can’t imagine how stressful some days can be and how amazing and rewarding others can be.
Same here, I used to love it but sadly I became disabled myself and now I need a full time carer, it is definitely a hard job but it’s got loads of rewards, it’s the smiles and knowing what u have done made a difference to one of them, my favourite resident who I used to look after was a guy called Maurice and he had down syndrome he was so lush!! He was always cuddly to me and loved spending time with me too and I loved spending time with him, I know u shouldn’t have favourites but he was so sweet and kind natured, I hope u r still doing ur job and loving it too, all the best, Kate 🇬🇧 xxxx
My mom had all of the same feelings as the mom speaking on this video. Mom had difficult time when my twin sister and I moved into Maryhaven. It was hard for mom. My sister and went to her anytime we wanted to.
Gosh I feel so much for these mothers & the families because I have so many difficulties & struggles raising my daughter who has no disabilities whatsoever & I have to ask for help so often. So I can’t imagine how difficult it could be to raise a child with extra needs or who needed special care. They should never be ashamed or guilty about getting care for them. People also have to remember that parents have to care for THEMSELVES too. Of course you want to put your kids first, but truly, if you don’t care for yourself & keep sane, then how can you care for your children? Bless these mothers & the families. Best wishes to them all.
So much awful judgement for these Moms in the comments. Pure ignorance. It's easy to point fingers and assume you would handle it better when you have no idea what it's really like. I had to make the decision to move my Mom into a retirement home, for her safety and my sanity. The retirement home changed her life. She had friends and a social life and most importantly she was safe. The community gave her what i could not. I knew mentally I couldn't handle living together. As much as I wanted to be and do everything she needed. I made the right decision. For both of us. She was happy.
Autism mom here. My girl is 16. She is not quite on this level and we'll likely spend our lives together. I fully support her in whatever she wants to do. Her severe OCD makes life for her very difficult. Meds have helped. But no one who hasn't been in our shoes could possibly understand what goes throughour heads. I chose to not have more children but not because of her but my health. I won't lie, I'm able to put my full attention on her which helps her. But no one should be told not to have more children.
The Mother of the twins has does an amazing job for 19 year, Dad was at work during filming, but helps when home, young sister is great helping at breakfast and after school. When a child has a disability it affects the whole family. Don’t feel guilty, you have all done so well
It is disgusting how governments punish mothers for having children with disabilities that are devastating. It is great for economic reasons to encourage "growth" in the population, but God forbid society should see a responsibility to help those who have to "abandon" their children to get help. For shame.
This makes me upset that a small country like NZ has all of this help and my family with adult Autistic son in America have to beg for any care for my son. I've gone at it alone, mainstreaming, etc. Father in and out of his life. He wants so much but no one unless he harms himself or others, commits a crime gets no help! Little to no mental health care for young adults in AZ. We keep trying but it is hard and emotionally exhausting. My guilt is enormous. Thank you for giving us hope!
I have two people like this in my family an aunt and cousin.. it takes much patient love and endurance, not in that order to raise these kind of children as well as adults but I think if the parents feel like it's too much to handle do give them to people who can, because of them being dependent on their parents they deserve it and nothing less
I grew up here in NZ started school in 2001 and went to a very disability friendly 'mainstream' primary school and intermediate, it was such a gift growing up alongside peers with different levels of ability. Dillon & Jays mum is a saint and I shed a tear hearing Jake's mum telling her story, heartbreaking and I hope that legally things are better these days though I know there's a lot of progress still to be made. its crazy how harshly people in this tough situation are judged because it's likely giving the child a better quality of life when it's come to that point and we all agree that's the most important thing.
I can’t imagine having to make the decision to put my child or children into a residential treatment even if it is the right thing to do. From the outside looking in I’m like yes mom you’ve done a great job and everything you could possibly do for all these years and now at their age it’s time to let go some and of course they can visit whenever but at some point you have to think you won’t be around anymore and you’ve got to start transitioning them to a safe place where they will be cared for and safe with around the clock care.
she will be a support nurse when she older because she is really good at helping her bothers watt an amazing job that she is doing for her mum watt an amazing story very powerful 😎
Rebecca Every child should be entitled to a "childhood" not matinence jobs of a sibling on a daily regime. I don't agree with this. YOU want children YOU care for them and that means NOT saddling some children in the family with adult responsibilies. Where's this young girls life developing ? It's directed to an autistic brother "daily." A mother where we see no husband but 4 children and 2 in a very difficult state. If there is a husband here perhaps I missed it in this documentary. Making poor choices and laying the results as responsibilities on your children ..... I don't support that. It's not 1950 we should be wiser now.
My mother went blind by the time i was 9 and lost both her legs above the knee when i was 13 Then battled cancer for 4years I looked after her and still do But i would never choose to work as a nurse With my mother is enough Its not a good thing sometimes ... Well for myself ive found anyways
The mere fact that Trish and Tania are reflecting so much and contemplating residential care shows how much they love their kids. Accepting help shouldn’t cause them to feel like bad mothers. They’re not abandoning their kids, they’re staying in their lives.
Personally I disagree with the comments about jakes mom. Some of you call her a coward even though the real coward was her ex husband who left her with a severely disabled child. Imagine being a single mom caring for a disable child. Everything looks easier when it’s not your problem. As a mother yes she needs to think about her sons happiness and well being. But at the same time she shouldn’t disregard hers either. She stated that she was depressed and felt alone. What if she got so depressed that she committed suicide? Would that make her a selfish mother because she left her son? No in order to properly care for your child you need to be well yourself. Reality is jake belonged in a different environment where he could get the proper care.
it’s none of your business! nothing is “wrong” with them, they were children and are now adults, just like you! big families make for better company and it is rude of you to talk about my mother like that, i and my little brother do not care for my older brothers, we do what we do because we love them, we meet their needs like they do with ours. grow up
I have a learning disabliblty and it was more afeted when I was Littie but its only mild but if I was the girl with the blonde hair I wouldn't send my kid away sure it's prolly good for them but just think of all the things she's missing he may have autism I think but she misses him and if the moter cross is to much I would do something that is he likes I have my parents in my life mind you l live them but that besides the point and he was doing landery such a good skill
my life me My son is severely autistic. At 19 he is like a toddler in many ways. When he was younger he would physically attack us, climb out second floor windows, and try to pull or cut his own teeth out with anything he could find. We lived on lockdown like that mother. All sharps in lockboxes. Padlocks on the windows and doors. He would get angry the doors were locked and break them down. He would get angry and break windows to cut himself and us with the glass. People have no idea what families like these endure. I was able to get in home staffing for 12-16 hours a day, and a behavioral team taught me how to teach my son to manage his behavior. We also found an excellent doctor who addresses his complex medical issues - he also has seizures and a metabolic disorder. Only with their help have I been able to care for him at home. He does well most of the time now, but at some point in my life I won't be able to take care of him anymore. I don't know what will happen then.
GOOD MOTHERS KEEP AND HELP THEIR CHILDREN UNTIL THEY REACH ADULTHOOD WHEN THINGS REALLY GET HARDER, JUST LIKE THE FIRST CASE, NOT TO START A NEW FAMILY OUT OF SELFISHNESS.
Dylan is legally blind but has slightly more vision in one eye. He knows where everything is, simply because that is his home and nothing moves or changes in the years he’s been living there. He can also sense where things and people are like you and most others can with your eyes closed. I hope this helped :)
@@shylalundon ok, that’s cool. I’m blind, but I can see a bit of light. Ya know, blindness is a spectrum. Do your brothers and mum have the same cause of being visually impaired? I’m just wondering since your mum doesn’t have a developmental disability.
@@millacernemusic although they are all legally blind, my mum only just falls under that name, whereas the boys are far down the spectrum, worse off than her
That rubbed me the wrong way, when that blonde lady, was talking about how "lucky' and fortunate, her son's in a home, and she's now able to "live this normal life" now that he's been dumped on the county or city, to pay for and give 24 hour care to. Shes just a little too happy..
And you are a mother to a severely autistic adult child and have lived experience to judge ? Untill you walk a mile in this mother’s shoes you will never understand .
THE RIGHT THING would have been for the mother not to have anymore children after those twins were born. That little girl should NOT have to be a caregiver to her older brothers like that, nor should the guilt and responsibility of caring for them fall completely on her shoulders if something should happen to the mother. That woman knew those boys were gonna be a handful enough..having another child was selfish.
Allah does not obligate anyone beyond his capacity. For him is what he has earned, and on him what he has incurred.“Our Lord, do not hold us accountable, if we forget or make a mistake, and, Our Lord, do not place on us such a burden as You have placed on those before us, and, Our Lord, do not make us bear a burden for which we have no strength. And pardon us, and grant us forgiveness, and have mercy on us. You are our Lord. So then help us against the disbelieving people.” Qur'an 2:286
If your child has a disability as a mother you make it work! You don’t put your child off on nobody else. You’ll find ways to have time for your other children and for your spouse. This is just absolutely inappropriate. You don’t make the time when you want to see your child. Like what in the hello is going on the in world today. !
You don’t know what the situation is though. How can you judge on something you haven’t experienced? It’s her child and her family. Only she truly knows what day in and day out looks like. It’s easy to look at things like they are black and white but life isn’t like that. They are way more complicated than we can fathom because we aren’t living their life.
It's true that no one knows what the day to day was like for her but I have a special needs son he's the youngest of all my children and we have had HORRIBLE days their dad left and I became a single mom and when I decided to date I made sure whoever it was understood my kids are not going ANYWHERE no matter what and if that isn't ok then move on. She has every right to be happy and have a life but it seems like she was ok with him until she met someone else and had another child I think that's what most people are feeling. It's not right to trade one child for another because one is a little harder than the other and that's what it seems like she did. Now let me say It was VERY hard for her to turn her son over I'm sure but hopefully this video just makes it seem like it was for a new life and that's not really the case and if that is why she did it for Jake's best interest then good for her.
I’m sorry but for the blind/autistic twins, what’s the point of them being alive? This is why people need to think very carefully before having kids they know are going to be disabled. Also, if you have other kids, it should NOT be their responsibility to take on caretaker roles and have to do things like feeding, clothing, bathing, waking up, putting to bed, watching, changing, teaching important things, etc. Your kids should get to be kids, and not have to parent their disabled siblings.
hi i am the little sister of those two boys you wonder about the point of them being alive. thanks for being so little minded! i hope you have someone as special as them in your next life to teach you some great empathy skills and some MANNERS! me and my little brother do what we do because we love our brothers, i got to be a kid and learn extra things from them because of who they are. people like you won’t ever know that, so don’t be rude and don’t presume stupid notions
How was she gonna know they’re disable? So you’re suggesting that after finding out she should have”unalived”, that’s just sick.. God placed and kept them on earth for a reason and who then decides who should live and who shouldn’t, the world is full of shitty “normal” people, what’s the point of them living. And there’s nothing wrong with the little girl doing little things to help care for her brothers, last time I checked siblings help each other out and their mothers in an ideal, unselfish world..
If the one lady already had Jake, who was a handful, why on earth would you have TWO MORE? SO SELFISH! Then the lady that’s partially blind, when you had the two older boys with special needs, why did you have two more kids as well? These women are VERY SELFISH!
I firmly believe the 15 month MMR has a lot to do with autism/behavioural issues with kids. My son was perfect until he had his MMR, he had his first epileptic fit that night and was displaying autistic mannerisms soon after. I had hell with him for 15 years..so called "experts" were useless, e.g the kindy special education expert.."have you tried a star chart"? OMG...she got a mouthful!...Luckily he is MUCH better now...but I will always believe those vaccinations were the cause of his issues.
@@shylalundon go get help? You're foul,vile and I wish you karma.And I have met many smug mutts like you...lets just see how it all works out. Life has a funny way of giving assholes like you the lessons in humanity you need.Hope you get the message you deserve. Nasty.
@@shylalundon My grammar is just fine. Fix your attitude,..and actually go eff yourself. You are a wonderful example of a smug entitled Karen. I hope you get yours 10 fold.If you are not a mother yet...just wait. And whatever you get...you deserve. Horrible nasty mutt.Hope you can understand my sentiments thru my grammar. Lol.
When I moved into Maryhaven in 1993 mom really missed me a lot. I would go and visit every other weekend. Mom enjoyed visiting me too. Now I go to her house and help her with cleaning and grocery shopping. I do this twice a week. It makes me feel good.
That little sister is the sweetest little thing in the world. Such a angel
That little girl is amazing... She doesn't have a problem looking after her older brother...she just does it with love,.....Good on her....What a beautiful heart
Evy Courtney
She is a blessing but she ALSO needs a life... Have to do what's right for the emotional and psychological development of all concerned.💝
That's me from 2011!! Thank you so much I still and will always love my brothers ❤
@@shylalundon 💝💞
@@shylalundon How strong your family are? Now how are your Brother doing?
She's doing a better job helping look after her older brothers than I do helping with my aunt.
You are not abandoning your lovely boys you are giving them quality of a different world. Because you will be more relaxed you will enjoy them when you get together. You are such special parents.
sounds like it's just jake and not the other twin
The young girl who helps care for her big brothers... oh my gosh that melted my heart completely. What a wonderful heart. She seemed like she just didn’t mind it at all & that she was happy to help. She will be a better person for it when she’s older too, just from having those experiences ❤️
Cori Bailey thank you, that’s me from 2011! my brothers have definitely shaped the way i think and treat others, love them to bits
@@shylalundon I could feel the love you have for your family. I hope yall are doing well.
They're her brothers, why wouldn't she? That's what good siblings do...take care of each other.
Couldn't have said it better myself! The most amazing and best humans on earth come from hard situations ❤
@@shylalundon no doubt your one of the best young adults around girl! Much love to you and your whanau ❤❤
I was placed in Mary Haven’s residential program 1993. It’s very nice. My mom did the right thing. Mom wanted me to be well cared for and safe. I was 20 years old when I was placed. I am now 45 years old and doing great.
I simply agree with she is doing for her children. Praying for these sweet moms and their children.
Why were you placed
Jen Wall, It has to be hard on a mother, I can see how she would have a lot of guilt. Such a hard decision to make.
You seem to a good attitude about it, It would make things a little easier on your mom. I'm glad for you, it makes your life so much better and happier.
God bless you 💖💖💖🙋♀️
She is a lovely mother with an awesome daughter.Considering she is almost blind and on her own she has done a remarkable job.
You're not abandoning your disabled adult children by placing them in some sort of housing program, you're giving your kid a chance at having a life worth living.
Consider it, "supported independent living"
I think judging people on their decisions in life, without having lived whatever has led up to this decision, deserves more consideration. You who judge, have you ever lived with children with this degree in this disability? In any case, who are we to judge..... Thank you to the mothers for sharing their story.
Having your children who have special needs move into group homes is the right decision. Just like neurotypical children grow up and move out on their own to do their thing. My foster sister lives in a group home and loves it! There are 4 roommates. The organization gets to know each client prior to moving in and tries to find roommates that have similar interests. Basically, they want the clients to have roommates they'd choose to live with. They can't always do that right away, but within a few years, they get everything right. This home's had these 4 folks there for over 30 years. Thy are a family, too. All 4 families agree that our family member has grown up and become so much more independent living in a group home.
I never really thought about this side of having a special needs child. I can see how difficult it would be for a parent to make that decision even if it is the right one. The guilt would be insane and I am sure people would judge harshly but it is hard for someone to judge if they are not in that situation. These are such strong families shown and I hope that everything is well for them!
Mary R. I wonder how her mom is, in the video it said she was legally blind.
That young girl is wonderful, she has more character at her age than some adults ever have. I hope she has some really good things happen for her. 💖💖💖🙋♀️
I was placed into residential care ,I did not have a disability but my mother and grandmother did not want me. Being sexual abuse at my home and I think that was the greatest thing done for me. But they do miss you. But to be honest I did not miss them whatsoever. I forgave them and I like them but I made my life worth living. I am happy she did what was best for them both. She gave her son the best life that he deserves and needs.
I work with deaf-blind with multiple disabilities. I love my job ❤️❤️
You all have such amazing documentaries. I’m surprised you don’t have more subscribers. Thank you for exposing the world to different lives and different people with such beauty and dignity. 💜💜
God bless all parents of children with special needs. Prayers with you all.
Aameen
Amen
I felt the same as you, I hurt so much, myself and my Husband love our daughter who’s level 3 Autism, we try very hard she’s 30 now and lives in supportive living, I used to get very upset when my friends would talk about there daughters, as I couldn’t talk about mine, the pain I felt was crushing and I used to feel sick, I still get a knot in my stomach thinking of my Daughter, but I feel guilty, Shireen doesn’t she’s happy with her life, I feel she was robbed of her life, I can’t and will never understand why this happened to my beautiful Daughter, I think about her when I wake up in The morning and going to bed at night, she’s very well cared for we’re she lives, she likes her hot and cold drinks and loves listening to her music, Shireen shares this house with another girl the same age but she’s not Autistic she needs help but not as much help, I understand how you feel you have to put your trust in other people to look after your child, I found that very hard to do, I still phone my Daughters house every day and night and I have her home with us every second weekend, your Son is a beautiful Child, don’t feel guilty you did the right thing for your son, your an amazing Mum, I’ve also got a lovely Son he’s 25 this year he’s an amazing Brother to his Sister, Also the family with the twin’s An amazing Mum, the boys will be fine, they will be happy and I’m sure the staff will be amazing with your sons
My sister had a child with special needs and she kept him as long as she could until her health started deteriorating, she passed away about 3 years ago and when she passed away the father of her son got full custody of him and he now lives with his father. She was a wonderful mother and i wish everyday that she was still here to see him grow and over come challenges.
What a horrible decision to have to make. I definitely to not fault these moms for the decisions they are having to make. It is a 24/7 job and times 2 for the twins!!! Thank God for the little sister because her help has probably kept the boys home fo a little longer. I promise I don’t mean anything negative from that!!!!!
These moms are truly super moms to me!!!!! The emotional and physical stress on them would bring many of us to our knees much sooner. The fact that the mom had to abandon her son in order to get help should never happen!!!! She should have been given ample help way before that. But, I am glad they finally found a residential home for him. It would be horrible having to worry that the baby be separated and out of his reach and having to constantly worry if he could get out of the home and take off.
My heart goes out to these families and I think they have done wonderful!!!! I pray they don’t feel guilty because they did what was right for all of the children involved and themselves. It is absolutely draining!!!!!! God Bless these lovely families and the remarkable sister for all her love and help with her brothers🙏🏽✝️🙏🏽✝️🙏🏽✝️🙏🏽✝️❤️❤️❤️😘❤️❤️❤️🥰❤️❤️❤️
I work as an in home carer for people with developmental/intellectual disabilities. I have worked for 15 years. It can be very tedious at times, however, I don’t look at it as a “job”, rather as if they are like family. Sadly, in a lot of cases, the carer knows the person better than their actual family does.
Getting help does not make you a bad parent, with abled OR disabled kids.
Mrs. Garcia Thanks for watching
Yep
Parents of special need children are absolute heroes, youre amazing xx
This is ridiculous that this is a legal issue!! These poor parents can’t keep living this way. Around the clock care for teenagers with such massive needs is hard and almost impossible.
I work with adults with development disabilities for the past 6 years and I love it. It is a tough job but I feel it is very rewarding.
chris woltjer what is your job?
You are an amazing person!!!💝
Your awesome!! It takes a special person to work in this field and I can’t imagine how stressful some days can be and how amazing and rewarding others can be.
Same here, I used to love it but sadly I became disabled myself and now I need a full time carer, it is definitely a hard job but it’s got loads of rewards, it’s the smiles and knowing what u have done made a difference to one of them, my favourite resident who I used to look after was a guy called Maurice and he had down syndrome he was so lush!! He was always cuddly to me and loved spending time with me too and I loved spending time with him, I know u shouldn’t have favourites but he was so sweet and kind natured, I hope u r still doing ur job and loving it too, all the best, Kate 🇬🇧 xxxx
It’s always a good thing when you love your job🥰
That little girl I bet she will grow up to be a nurse , she's been doing caring at home for her young life !
Thanks for watching Heather 😊
I am that girl, the sister of two amazing brothers still living at home
@@shylalundon may I just say how much respect do I have for you and your mom. Loads of love from Russia!
ИСКРА thank you from here in New Zealand 🇳🇿☺️❤️
A nurse? You mean a doctor.
My mom had all of the same feelings as the mom speaking on this video. Mom had difficult time when my twin sister and I moved into Maryhaven. It was hard for mom. My sister and went to her anytime we wanted to.
God bless your family all of you how strong. Prayers coming your way. what a strong young lady and what huge life lessons she is learning
Gosh I feel so much for these mothers & the families because I have so many difficulties & struggles raising my daughter who has no disabilities whatsoever & I have to ask for help so often. So I can’t imagine how difficult it could be to raise a child with extra needs or who needed special care. They should never be ashamed or guilty about getting care for them. People also have to remember that parents have to care for THEMSELVES too. Of course you want to put your kids first, but truly, if you don’t care for yourself & keep sane, then how can you care for your children? Bless these mothers & the families. Best wishes to them all.
So much awful judgement for these Moms in the comments. Pure ignorance. It's easy to point fingers and assume you would handle it better when you have no idea what it's really like. I had to make the decision to move my Mom into a retirement home, for her safety and my sanity. The retirement home changed her life. She had friends and a social life and most importantly she was safe. The community gave her what i could not. I knew mentally I couldn't handle living together. As much as I wanted to be and do everything she needed. I made the right decision. For both of us. She was happy.
👏👏👏👏 Well said!!!👏👏👏👏💝
Autism mom here. My girl is 16. She is not quite on this level and we'll likely spend our lives together. I fully support her in whatever she wants to do. Her severe OCD makes life for her very difficult. Meds have helped. But no one who hasn't been in our shoes could possibly understand what goes throughour heads. I chose to not have more children but not because of her but my health. I won't lie, I'm able to put my full attention on her which helps her. But no one should be told not to have more children.
She did a selfless thing knowing she could not provide him wit the proper care she did the right thing
The twins little sister is special/Amazing. Bless her...
The Mother of the twins has does an amazing job for 19 year, Dad was at work during filming, but helps when home, young sister is great helping at breakfast and after school. When a child has a disability it affects the whole family. Don’t feel guilty, you have all done so well
It is disgusting how governments punish mothers for having children with disabilities that are devastating. It is great for economic reasons to encourage "growth" in the population, but God forbid society should see a responsibility to help those who have to "abandon" their children to get help. For shame.
For those with profound developmental disabilities when you provide options for them to further their life, they will be able to have a better life.
This makes me upset that a small country like NZ has all of this help and my family with adult Autistic son in America have to beg for any care for my son. I've gone at it alone, mainstreaming, etc. Father in and out of his life. He wants so much but no one unless he harms himself or others, commits a crime gets no help! Little to no mental health care for young adults in AZ. We keep trying but it is hard and emotionally exhausting. My guilt is enormous. Thank you for giving us hope!
I have two people like this in my family an aunt and cousin.. it takes much patient love and endurance, not in that order to raise these kind of children as well as adults but I think if the parents feel like it's too much to handle do give them to people who can, because of them being dependent on their parents they deserve it and nothing less
I grew up here in NZ started school in 2001 and went to a very disability friendly 'mainstream' primary school and intermediate, it was such a gift growing up alongside peers with different levels of ability. Dillon & Jays mum is a saint and I shed a tear hearing Jake's mum telling her story, heartbreaking and I hope that legally things are better these days though I know there's a lot of progress still to be made. its crazy how harshly people in this tough situation are judged because it's likely giving the child a better quality of life when it's come to that point and we all agree that's the most important thing.
I can’t imagine having to make the decision to put my child or children into a residential treatment even if it is the right thing to do. From the outside looking in I’m like yes mom you’ve done a great job and everything you could possibly do for all these years and now at their age it’s time to let go some and of course they can visit whenever but at some point you have to think you won’t be around anymore and you’ve got to start transitioning them to a safe place where they will be cared for and safe with around the clock care.
she will be a support nurse when she older because she is really good at helping her bothers watt an amazing job that she is doing for her mum watt an amazing story very powerful 😎
Rebecca.....Yes, the daughter is one amazing little girl....responsible and loving
I hope she aims a bit higher than that.
Rebecca Every child should be entitled to a "childhood" not matinence jobs of a sibling on a daily regime. I don't agree with this. YOU want children YOU care for them and that means NOT saddling some children in the family with adult responsibilies. Where's this young girls life developing ? It's directed to an autistic brother "daily." A mother where we see no husband but 4 children and 2 in a very difficult state. If there is a husband here perhaps I missed it in this documentary. Making poor choices and laying the results as responsibilities on your children ..... I don't support that. It's not 1950 we should be wiser now.
@@RenegadeTimes Finally, someone who makes sense! Good on you, Renegade! I fully agree.
My mother went blind by the time i was 9 and lost both her legs above the knee when i was 13 Then battled cancer for 4years I looked after her and still do But i would never choose to work as a nurse With my mother is enough Its not a good thing sometimes ... Well for myself ive found anyways
The mere fact that Trish and Tania are reflecting so much and contemplating residential care shows how much they love their kids. Accepting help shouldn’t cause them to feel like bad mothers. They’re not abandoning their kids, they’re staying in their lives.
What a beautiful little sister those boys have. Bless xx
Two brave moms!
Thank you so much for sharing!
This is strengthening
Omg hle😢. God bless this family, oh im glad they can hear at least 🙏🏽😊
Beautiful story! Thanks
A very tough decision. So unfair she has to mke it.
Love these short documentaries! That little girl is so caring💜
Jake so cute 😘. The mom so beautiful 😘
I LOVE the intro sequence!!!
Personally I disagree with the comments about jakes mom. Some of you call her a coward even though the real coward was her ex husband who left her with a severely disabled child. Imagine being a single mom caring for a disable child. Everything looks easier when it’s not your problem. As a mother yes she needs to think about her sons happiness and well being. But at the same time she shouldn’t disregard hers either. She stated that she was depressed and felt alone. What if she got so depressed that she committed suicide? Would that make her a selfish mother because she left her son? No in order to properly care for your child you need to be well yourself. Reality is jake belonged in a different environment where he could get the proper care.
My heart breaks
Why after disabled twins would u have other kids only to have them care for her brothers, where is the father ?
it’s none of your business! nothing is “wrong” with them, they were children and are now adults, just like you! big families make for better company and it is rude of you to talk about my mother like that, i and my little brother do not care for my older brothers, we do what we do because we love them, we meet their needs like they do with ours. grow up
I have a learning disabliblty and it was more afeted when I was Littie but its only mild but if I was the girl with the blonde hair I wouldn't send my kid away sure it's prolly good for them but just think of all the things she's missing he may have autism I think but she misses him and if the moter cross is to much I would do something that is he likes I have my parents in my life mind you l live them but that besides the point and he was doing landery such a good skill
my life me My son is severely autistic. At 19 he is like a toddler in many ways. When he was younger he would physically attack us, climb out second floor windows, and try to pull or cut his own teeth out with anything he could find. We lived on lockdown like that mother. All sharps in lockboxes. Padlocks on the windows and doors. He would get angry the doors were locked and break them down. He would get angry and break windows to cut himself and us with the glass.
People have no idea what families like these endure.
I was able to get in home staffing for 12-16 hours a day, and a behavioral team taught me how to teach my son to manage his behavior. We also found an excellent doctor who addresses his complex medical issues - he also has seizures and a metabolic disorder. Only with their help have I been able to care for him at home. He does well most of the time now, but at some point in my life I won't be able to take care of him anymore. I don't know what will happen then.
my life me but she knew he would have a better life with him being cared for.
@@sarasmr4278 I feel you on this one. Hope all is well. So strong we are 💪🏼
How old is both of them
How old is he
Ncoo sweet Baby girl ❤️
GOOD MOTHERS KEEP AND HELP THEIR CHILDREN UNTIL THEY REACH ADULTHOOD WHEN THINGS REALLY GET HARDER, JUST LIKE THE FIRST CASE, NOT TO START A NEW FAMILY OUT OF SELFISHNESS.
Jake is unlucky to have his mother.all she care about her self and happiness.shame on her.!!
I know, selfish hag!!!
::::: what’s wrong with having happiness for yourself? It’s not selfishness. She has other people in her family she needs to take care of.
Poor Jake deserves better than a hag
So judgemental , the mum is brave for moving forward with her life and doing what’s right for her family , not for public opinion or nasty judgement .
I could be wrong but I dont think both twins r blind cus one of them seemed to be able to see were to put things
Blind is a spectrum. He may have light and color vision, but no clear images. Or he's done that so often, it's muscle memory. Or both.
Dylan is legally blind but has slightly more vision in one eye. He knows where everything is, simply because that is his home and nothing moves or changes in the years he’s been living there. He can also sense where things and people are like you and most others can with your eyes closed. I hope this helped :)
@@shylalundon ok, that’s cool. I’m blind, but I can see a bit of light. Ya know, blindness is a spectrum. Do your brothers and mum have the same cause of being visually impaired? I’m just wondering since your mum doesn’t have a developmental disability.
@@millacernemusic although they are all legally blind, my mum only just falls under that name, whereas the boys are far down the spectrum, worse off than her
@@millacernemusic my mum carries a gene that causes the type of blindness both she and my brothers have
That rubbed me the wrong way, when that blonde lady, was talking about how "lucky' and fortunate, her son's in a home, and she's now able to "live this normal life" now that he's been dumped on the county or city, to pay for and give 24 hour care to. Shes just a little too happy..
And you are a mother to a severely autistic adult child and have lived experience to judge ? Untill you walk a mile in this mother’s shoes you will never understand .
The mom should try and see if they can learn to use a computer so they can express themselves.
"how do you deal with the guilt". nah, you made a bad, even harmful, choice. guilt is a feeling you've earned.
THE RIGHT THING would have been for the mother not to have anymore children after those twins were born. That little girl should NOT have to be a caregiver to her older brothers like that, nor should the guilt and responsibility of caring for them fall completely on her shoulders if something should happen to the mother. That woman knew those boys were gonna be a handful enough..having another child was selfish.
Sorry you're just justifying what you done he's your son and it seems you wanted a life without the problems
Right on, Roland Riddle! Only a few of us thinking/making sense here, eh!
Hahahahaha you two are funny
Have you had to deal with kids like him?!?! Probably not! Stop judging asshole.
I wonder, do people that take care of so called special people? Do they get goverment a$$istance?
Allah does not obligate anyone beyond his capacity. For him is what he has earned, and on him what he has incurred.“Our Lord, do not hold us accountable, if we forget or make a mistake, and, Our Lord, do not place on us such a burden as You have placed on those before us, and, Our Lord, do not make us bear a burden for which we have no strength. And pardon us, and grant us forgiveness, and have mercy on us. You are our Lord. So then help us against the disbelieving people.”
Qur'an 2:286
WWJD?
What would Jesus do?
He wouldn't be harsh, ignorant and judgemental like some of the half wits who have commented on here!
If your child has a disability as a mother you make it work! You don’t put your child off on nobody else. You’ll find ways to have time for your other children and for your spouse. This is just absolutely inappropriate. You don’t make the time when you want to see your child. Like what in the hello is going on the in world today. !
You don’t know what the situation is though. How can you judge on something you haven’t experienced? It’s her child and her family. Only she truly knows what day in and day out looks like. It’s easy to look at things like they are black and white but life isn’t like that. They are way more complicated than we can fathom because we aren’t living their life.
It's true that no one knows what the day to day was like for her but I have a special needs son he's the youngest of all my children and we have had HORRIBLE days their dad left and I became a single mom and when I decided to date I made sure whoever it was understood my kids are not going ANYWHERE no matter what and if that isn't ok then move on. She has every right to be happy and have a life but it seems like she was ok with him until she met someone else and had another child I think that's what most people are feeling. It's not right to trade one child for another because one is a little harder than the other and that's what it seems like she did. Now let me say It was VERY hard for her to turn her son over I'm sure but hopefully this video just makes it seem like it was for a new life and that's not really the case and if that is why she did it for Jake's best interest then good for her.
I’m sorry but for the blind/autistic twins, what’s the point of them being alive? This is why people need to think very carefully before having kids they know are going to be disabled. Also, if you have other kids, it should NOT be their responsibility to take on caretaker roles and have to do things like feeding, clothing, bathing, waking up, putting to bed, watching, changing, teaching important things, etc. Your kids should get to be kids, and not have to parent their disabled siblings.
hi i am the little sister of those two boys you wonder about the point of them being alive. thanks for being so little minded! i hope you have someone as special as them in your next life to teach you some great empathy skills and some MANNERS! me and my little brother do what we do because we love our brothers, i got to be a kid and learn extra things from them because of who they are. people like you won’t ever know that, so don’t be rude and don’t presume stupid notions
How was she gonna know they’re disable? So you’re suggesting that after finding out she should have”unalived”, that’s just sick.. God placed and kept them on earth for a reason and who then decides who should live and who shouldn’t, the world is full of shitty “normal” people, what’s the point of them living. And there’s nothing wrong with the little girl doing little things to help care for her brothers, last time I checked siblings help each other out and their mothers in an ideal, unselfish world..
How about mum taking responsibility for feeding and caring for the boys instead of a sister looking after older brothers
I'm going to just give up my kids and do me..such bs
If the one lady already had Jake, who was a handful, why on earth would you have TWO MORE? SO SELFISH!
Then the lady that’s partially blind, when you had the two older boys with special needs, why did you have two more kids as well? These women are VERY SELFISH!
you’re very selfish to comment that. i hope you learn how to treat people better in the future, that’s my family you’re talking about
Imcharmed4ever people like you sicken me! Charming you are not!
I firmly believe the 15 month MMR has a lot to do with autism/behavioural issues with kids. My son was perfect until he had his MMR, he had his first epileptic fit that night and was displaying autistic mannerisms soon after. I had hell with him for 15 years..so called "experts" were useless, e.g the kindy special education expert.."have you tried a star chart"? OMG...she got a mouthful!...Luckily he is MUCH better now...but I will always believe those vaccinations were the cause of his issues.
I have moderate autism, i never recieved my MMR cos my mum is antivax. I dont agree w vaccines but they do not cause autism
go get help, you’re wrong
@@shylalundon go get help? You're foul,vile and I wish you karma.And I have met many smug mutts like you...lets just see how it all works out. Life has a funny way of giving assholes like you the lessons in humanity you need.Hope you get the message you deserve. Nasty.
Jenna Nicholson The karma i got was having to read your comment. fix your grammar Jenna.
@@shylalundon My grammar is just fine. Fix your attitude,..and actually go eff yourself. You are a wonderful example of a smug entitled Karen. I hope you get yours 10 fold.If you are not a mother yet...just wait. And whatever you get...you deserve. Horrible nasty mutt.Hope you can understand my sentiments thru my grammar. Lol.