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Hello Jordan, fan of yours that has just watched "Sound Of Freedom movie". Do you know this movie? The mainstream media and the elites have actively pushed to berate an belittle this film and if not they are just not covering it at all. I will do my part to spread the word but I only have a limited reach to my own social circle, so given your outreach and stance on political issues consider this my plea to you to please do what you can do to spread the word of this movie and help humanity. Sound of Freedom has recently been open in cinemas in Australia and I was surprised and disappointed in the empty cinema which means the powers at be are winning! Please consider doing your part and consider taking a couple minutes of your time to look into this film. Objectively besides the content of the film it is also a very good movie! Kindest regards Andre M.
Kids, this is great advice for free Jordan is giving. Took me years to work out but once I was finally happily single I met my future wife who I've been with 10 years. To add to Jordan, look for a partner who you are not just physically and romantically attracted to but is also best friend material.
Long term relationships ARE about making a mature decision to walk “hand in hand” into the future. It’s a “balance” of helping each other - which at times, may be carried more by one - but overall, is matched. Giving the best of yourself is a strengthening of your individual qualities. And in a healthy relationship, you will learn from your partner. Should the relationship end - you are better off and not just because of the separation. Being with a long term partner - you do feel like you’re with your favourite family.
23 years married, 27 year relationship. Thank-you for verbalizing my head, I really couldn't have found those simple words. That is exactly what I try to tell others but fail because .......words👏👏👏🖖
I was the shocker in my relationship... i thought girls liked guys who where open about their emotions so i vented about a bunch of personal shit really awkwardly all at once and then they left me lmao
I heard a thing somewhere once that girls don’t like guys who are emotional, girls like guys who are in touch with their (the girl’s) emotions. Probably phrasing it wrong but basically girls want guys to care about their (the girl’s) emotions, not their (guys) own.
Yup. You never cease to be an individual in a relationship. You and her and then the relationship - It's a collaborative project. And also, you gotta relate to the other in mind and soul. That's a fundamental of a RELATION-ship.
Didn't expect a video like this from you. And to be frank I was always someone who in the moment thought I was dating for the right reasons everytime. But thank god for hindsight, and also my current partner. It's clear looking back most of my relationships were meant to fill a hole in myself. My current relationship and the best parts of all my previous relationships were when I was commited, dedicated and focused on supporting my partner. And now that I'm dating somehow who gives me the same energy I put out it's so clear what some of my past relationships were missing. (not to say I wasn't part of the problem in past relationships) To summarize: love the video, great advice for anyone and if you were like me just be patient, growing older and realizing when you fuck up and trying to be a better person will hopefully help you end up where you want to be.
Honestly Social Media and as Jordan put, phones are causing a lot of relationship problems. In the sense that people these days want that dopamine hit. Their attention span is low, almost like those 60 second tik toks. Not a lot of people out there have the self-control to either install one of those apps that limit phone use or buy a dumb phone. Communication is a big part of relationships. Yet I’ve noticed the younger generations are afraid of phone calls. People barely communicate their intentions or what they’re thinking these days. What they want out of life. Add on the prevalent anxieties people have these days and you wonder why relationships fail.
Yeah was a serial dater. Then started dating a psychologist, he did a stress shut down in a house move. So I moved him in for him. I took a day off work and asked for his keas to move him in within a day. I did it I had to pull in every friend I had. Had to pull everything I had. He came home and asked why I did it but I noticed his mental shut down and said if you wanna get married and have kids I've gotta show you I can take over in hard times but he's gotta do the same when I wanna have kids. He's gotta be strong for me then.
After around 5:33 it really started hitting. 18 and man... i never knew jordie could explain what i went through my relationship so well, 2 years ago...😂 WOW.
I reckon this is also a result of deteriorating monogamy & overwhelming choice/comparison or access to dating apps, awareness of our own mental health issues, our busier lifestyles, addiction to other sources of dopamine (creating lack of patience for normal things that seem boring in comparison), the unhelpful advice of self-love gurus posing as clinical psychologists online, shit like “you deserve the best you’re a queen/king” all that verbal candy that alleviates our insecurities, inflates our egos and then creates barriers with others we deem aren’t good enough… there’s so much in our modern lifestyle that affects relationships. At least people aren’t popping out so many babies now lol
Oh and also relying on relationships to make us feel a certain way, rather than it being more of a practical thing (e.g. assessing values to raise a family)
@@putnamehereholdmadoodle He probably will, and if he doesn’t… I’m sure he has a reason why (I remember he said he’d steer clear from heavy politics for a while because of the recent arson attack on his house). He won’t be able to conveniently cater to everyone at the time they want it, and it’s perfectly ok that he passionately wants to talk about something else. There can be room for both.
Totally agree. I've had 2 long term relationships (I'm an old millennial) the first (6yrs), I gave a lot, but my partner only took. I came out of that badly damaged and it did not end well. We do not speak now... My second long term relationship (9yrs), we both gave (my partner felt they did not give enough - that I deserved better - because they needed more support than I, but they helped me sooo much in healing the damage from my previous relationship) and while it didn't work out in the end, we still think of each other as family.
At 22, I haven't had my first relationship yet - yes, that's "kind of sad" as a recent acquaintance put it, but I'm learning to be fine with it for now. I would rather build up my platonic relationships, my work relationships, and just generally invest my time in the intelligent, experienced people around me, and learn from them instead of rushing into something that I'm going to mess up because I don't have the maturity to do it right yet.
honestly same at 24, I feel as if I just wasn't ready for one at all and honestly didn't really give too much of a shit since I had a lot of my emotional needs met through friends and spent my time doing fulfilling hobbies. trying dating on hinge now just to see what's out there tho lol
@@BrandonCourt nah. I have spent the last few years working in hospitality and social work, entertaining at parties and giving presentations. I have noticed that people come to me, hang out with me, I make people happy and offer them new perspectives. I have just been struggling to find someone who wants a committed relationship. I'm not a casual-relationship, friends-with-benefits, low stakes man. So I've been working on building a vibe and a community around me that will help me find people that feel the same way. Help me pick up those skills. No rush. Just build my tribe and surround myself with the right kind of people for me.
@@frankvalentich5410 Extremely good plan, and having that type of support network gives off nothing but green flags for someone who does want a committed relationship. Good job man, and good luck for when you do eventually settle down.
And my ex (who I was with for 7 years) left me for a gronk who only wanted to get in her pants... right after I got her out of a toxic shared house which ended up shattering our friend group. So I lost my girl, and all my friends. some people just dont care :(
@StormHawksHD rough stuff m8. You've probably heard it, but people that use relationships to be rescued are nearly always bad news. I learned the hard way as well.
thats alright, my daughters mum left me for a fat trans dude. Claiming shes a lesbian now. Thats the seventh chick who has turned lesbian on me, not even a joke, actual number 7. Im either the best fucking fuck ever, or the absolute worst. Definitely memorable at the least 😎 😂
Waiting in eager anticipation for someone to chance a read at a random doc on my desktop that talks about investing in the bubble man and how much more important he (HE) is than me
This is really funny, I didn’t know this went up because I’m now logged out of yt, but around the time this came out was when I pretty much git rejected by a girl I liked. 10/10
had a relationship for 3 months, she got depressed. visited her after a 2hr car ride (ldr), was one of the weirdest days of my life cause i spent of the most day just watching her doomscroll instagram on her phone whilst i just rested beside her in bed staring at the ceiling not knowing what to do. during this depression time she got fixated on playing with slime/putty? this specific one she had was a putty that was brown and it had sprinkles in it resembling a poop slime. she had gone to the bathroom, and i wanted to know all what the fuss was about, so i opened the putty jar but i accidentally spilled all the sprinkles out all on the floor by opening it. thereby after i felt like a real-life sitcom seinfeld episode where i rushed on my hands and knees to pickup these sprinkles that were all scattered across the floor to make sure my gf didnt become even more upset. she had quite a reaction as previously she seperated and counted each of those sprinkles one by one just that week. lmao. go forward 1 month later, we broke up
This is crazy. I have been doing this unintentionally with my partner. we are married been together 12yrs. And all my mates around me telling me how silly I was to have a joint bank account. Meanwhile non of them have been on long lasting relationships and a few of them have gotten divorces in under year.
From living in Sydney one thing I’ve picked up on is most people don’t want a faithful, loyal relationship anymore like they did in the 20th century. Everyone is a lone wolf here keeping their assets to themselves. Men are unloyal and unfaithful to women assuming they’re all instagram $1ut$, but this is untrue. Women are all just pawns in mens game. I don’t know if relationships are something you can depend on to contribute to success anymore
Relationships are like superannuation funds, if you don't invest into them regularly they wither and die. However never go into a relationship with the attitude that you are going to "cure" your partner, because it's been my experience that people don't want to be cured, they just want emotional and financial security, and someone that knows how to make them laugh.
So, the tea. First relationship I had, we were an hour apart and she couldn't drive, and she wasn't out to her parents. Two big red flags right there. But I figured what's the harm, I'm happy to lie about our relationship to keep her parents happy. It was a shocker. I wasn't allowed to hold her hand or hug her or do any form of PDA in public because she was scared. Essentially forced my back into the closet. We dated for a month. She asked me to be her girlfriend then she began leaving me on read, not answering my calls. Which made things difficult to organise to catch-up etc. She practically ghosted me after asking me to be in a relationship. All this being said I'm a useless lesbian and a hopeless romantic who wrote her a song for her birthday, she didn't care, and I texted her happy anniversary for our one month which she also didn't care about. Basically a big mess. I broke up with her over text. And she basically said "yeah I was distant I had no excuses". This kinda messed with my self worth for a while. My second "relationship" I was in. Lasted 3 months. We were good friends beforehand and when I asked her out, she said yes but asked to take things slow. Totally fine. We got on great however, we didn't kiss, hold hands, none of it. We basically kept being friends with the label of a relationship. I honestly think she wasn't ready. I wanted to remain friends but she said she needed space. I decided to reach out recently and she basically wanted nothing to do with me. Needless to say I haven't been in a "proper relationship" and dating apps suck. So if you could maybe do a video on how to meet someone, would be great! 🩵
Gay relationships are the worst, commitment is practically non-existent. I dated a few gay dudes (I'm bi) and nothing developed because they couldn't keep their proverbial in their pants. Grindr is shocking, the amount of sleaze on there makes me sick, not to mention all the couples "looking for a third" (seriously, why be in a relationship if you're gonna shag other guys anyway). The whole gay scene is f**ked.
Best way I think is to go out and do activities you enjoy in groups. Then if you really hit it off with a person there ask them out for coffee or something. View each attempt or relationship as a learning experience. 'What can I do better next time?"
I'd love a "how to meet people" vid too. I'm in an industry where all my coworkers are women and flamboyantly gay men...which has facilitated all my friends to be women and gay men. Dating apps suck, so how else does one authentically meet men aside from getting stopped in the street lol
I love this video. My last two relationships ended amicably. I give full credit to them for that. I'm a bit shit but they are both kind enough to still care about me though they can't be with me.
My wedding ended up costing about double what we were planning, and we didn't even plan to have that much available, but we did (without a loan). I wonder where intention and ability to cover costs come into this.
We’ll, this was hard to watch. I spent the last 3 years at university in a relationship with a lovely women. Just like you described, we often joked about caring for each either more than ourselves and honestly it was true. After graduation we decide to go out separate ways because we live in different areas and probably want different things out of life in the short term. As you predicted, quite expertly, our breakup was mature and amicable and we still talk as friends almost daily. I’m sure it won’t be easy but we’re making it work this way. At first I thought you were just ranting but there’s actual insight here. If you do find someone who cares for you more than themselves and you haven’t a reason to breakup please think about what you have.
My partner of 8 years left me on Sunday. I didn't see the red flags and was completely unprepared for it. I thought she was happy but apparently not. Not looking forward to the dating game in the current year because I'm completely out of touch with contemporary Aussie culture and have had my head stuck in books for about 5 years now.
The level of narcasism in individuals is producing a profound lack of empathy... makes y1lMaZ grandiose statements regarding his Craig David singing skills seem almost rational and level headed
Was on dating apps, yknow the first problem, and found someone and chatted for a bit. Eventually it led to a date and at the end of the date, after driving me home outside her car she goes in to kiss me. I did not want to kiss on the first date personally so i didn't, then they went in AGAIN and then i had to say something out loud about how i don't want to kiss on the first date! when I tried to discuss it later she ghosted me after mentioning it.
I decided relationships aren't really worth it. My entire childhood, I was surrounded by adults who married and divorced like musical chairs, and they seemed just miserable as fuck especially after having kids... MY PARENTS included lol. My mom was a very cold person emotionally and scary when she would drink, it really kinda fucked me up because I can't help but emotionally detach. The other house wasn't much better at all, my dad was addicted to opiates and working 12 hour shifts while my stepmom would lug my infant sisters off on me (I, age 13 and high functioning autistic) while she went out to bang dudes to fund her meth addiction. The point is that abuse and parentification cemented my decision to not have my own family, let alone a relationship. I see them as chains of misery, and when I broke free of my family, I drank that freedom like a glass of fresh water-- that was so refreshing, and to this day I cherish my freedom and feel relieved to be left alone to do whatever the fuck I want 😌 Relationships are a lot of work and I think I'd absolutely suck at it based on how I enjoy living my life now.
Sounds like you're gonna meet someone soon who may just change your mind! I can relate to parts of your story, but mostly that I wasn't looking to be partnered (and was genuinely happy with that) ... then, at the absolute least expected moment... BAM! Over 10 years together now and that still blows my mind
@@hatecubed Nahhh I'm completely fine. I really just care about Jesus, and the peace I feel with that is unparalleled. But people still do weirdly pity me and make reassurances, and I'm not sure how to respond...
Loved my ex and we were about to make it to three years. Did everything I could for her while she couldn’t cause she was struggling. She is now meeting up with my ex best friend. Loved her and we did try. Thought I was finally loved unconditionally but guess she loved me so much she needed to let me go. It’s all good though. Just got to work on myself and take the knowledge/experience she gave me into how I want to be for my next partner in how ever long that’ll be.
When I first went to college I started dating the first girl that lijed me because I was horney. After about a month I wanted to break up with her and was waiting till the next time I saw her. Then while gaming I got the text from her that she wanted to break up. I was ecstatic. Fast forward a few months I get a random text at 2am from her saying "I still love you" and I just said "if I remember correctly you broke up with me". She then called me the worst bf ever and we never spoke again. P.S. she was very into astrology and crystals
Dated this girl at the beginning of the pandemic. Met because she joined us for a Discord gaming night on the server we had made for a niche podcast built around a Facebook Meme Page. E Dated for 6 months and only saw her in person twice, during which she gave me strep throat so bad it took 2 months and 4 rounds of antibiotics to kick it. Within a couple months we broke up and agreed to do it amicably because we were still in the same friend groups. She wasn’t terribly upholding of that agreement which sucked but I knew that when she was trying to bash me it was best to hold my mouth shut. Fast forward two months, she has a new boyfriend. She met him playing Harry Potter GMod RP. Within a month of that announcement she comes to our friend group and tells us about how she’s going to go see him on the other side of the continent, in a different country, on a one way ticket he’s bought her. After some grilling about specifics by our friends she leaves all our group chats because we were apparently grilling her more about the safety around the situation than her mom. A month later she flys one way down to see him and within 3 weeks of getting there they got engaged, he still lived in his mothers house at the time. Believe they got married recently, wishing them nothing but the best
My last relationship ended with a plus size cosplayer who epitomised the toxicity within the so called cosplay community. She made me borderline suicidal (I’m ok now) for 3 months. Then when I rose up with a full heart at an event cosplaying Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter and said “hey crystal” she turned around smiling but the blood or cholesterol should I say just drained from her face with disappointment. #crystalClear
Weren't relationships based on 'i can fix them' called toxic for the last couple decades? My longest relationship ended cause i had to learn to stop being nice and letting myself be abused. That one lasted 5 years, now I've been single for 10.
That's what I mean though with my comment. Lots of relationships where one partner is a giver result in or attract partners that tend to take more than give. It's not as easy as being a giver means you'll meet a giver which Jordan says at one point in the video. Unfortunately just hoping they will reciprocate has put many people into situations such as mine where you may not even realize how bad it was until you remove yourself from it.@@sephjnr
Hey stooge, I know what I want to do, I sort of know how to do it, however I often struggle with motivation in the process. Tell me what books to read (or other resources (like a TH-cam video...)) so I don't have to filter all the bs, pretty please :)
I feel that my question is, but does Jordan shanks have a long term relationship? Because this advice is all well and good to say but without the leader having what they preach it's just bogus.
Yeah, I’ve watched a bit of him and felt a lot of what he says. I made myself stop because whilst being told what you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing is really nice, I didn’t see a pathway out of it from what he was saying. I don’t care how many studies there are or what percentages of relationships don’t/never work, I see people make it work. The people who make it work aren’t moping around and crying about it, they’re just doing. The unfortunate thing about Gerbert Johnson is he’s really well spoken, well researched, and what you’d think to be an attractive man. When you have a role model like that telling you you’re doomed, and telling you exactly what has happened to you, it’s easy to fall in and feel doomed. But the people in relationships don’t feel doomed, and most of them didn’t feel doomed before they started. Still haven’t found someone myself (23M) yet, but I’d rather go through life hopeful and positive rather than miserable.
@@catcalamity105 Gerbie does give you advice on how to get out of it, but he cannot directly fix your issues and anyone who claims they can is a liar. Gerbie basically says you are the only one who can improve yourself because its true. and by improving yourself, you'll improve others.
I was dating a girl for six months, and I hope to buy a first car and a quarter sleeping with my my phone and when I broke up with her, she came to my house at two in the morning with a knife and start smashing on my door, and telling me that I could never do better than her
I have always been the emotional support block of my family. I do not receive any support back and when I try they tell them something they tell me to shut up or say "I don't want to hear it" like it's a chore. I'm not the oldest or youngest and it makes me sad that they have always isolated me to deal with my issues alone. I don't know what to do, because I can't make them care, and I have stressed my problem with them with the giving/non receiving relationship, but "Its to much".
‘It very rarely does’ - *sigh*…… yeah, I’m one of those rare ones and yes, it was amiable and we are still on good terms. It was 4 1/2 years. But Jordan is right, you care about them enough that you make a strong effort on your part to help them improve themselves, importantly, *on their terms* and what *they* know deep down they can improve on and vice versa. But also importantly, it is also knowing when you can’t help and respecting that. How do you know when? You communicate and they will tell you and vice versa. I learnt so much from her and she learnt so much from me.
Fucking adore you. Okay, so during a manic episode I brutally sabotaged a relationship by cheating with two people and letting the poor fucker find out. I later found out that I, in fact, have Bipolar Disorder. I am getting help.
Debate destiny. I broke up with my girlfriend after watching the Barbie movie and realising that Ken was right. I'm Kenough, and I want a long-distance low commitment casual relationship.
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Hello Jordan, fan of yours that has just watched "Sound Of Freedom movie". Do you know this movie? The mainstream media and the elites have actively pushed to berate an belittle this film and if not they are just not covering it at all. I will do my part to spread the word but I only have a limited reach to my own social circle, so given your outreach and stance on political issues consider this my plea to you to please do what you can do to spread the word of this movie and help humanity. Sound of Freedom has recently been open in cinemas in Australia and I was surprised and disappointed in the empty cinema which means the powers at be are winning! Please consider doing your part and consider taking a couple minutes of your time to look into this film.
Objectively besides the content of the film it is also a very good movie!
Kindest regards
Andre M.
Kids, this is great advice for free Jordan is giving. Took me years to work out but once I was finally happily single I met my future wife who I've been with 10 years. To add to Jordan, look for a partner who you are not just physically and romantically attracted to but is also best friend material.
Long term relationships ARE about making a mature decision to walk “hand in hand” into the future. It’s a “balance” of helping each other - which at times, may be carried more by one - but overall, is matched.
Giving the best of yourself is a strengthening of your individual qualities. And in a healthy relationship, you will learn from your partner.
Should the relationship end - you are better off and not just because of the separation.
Being with a long term partner - you do feel like you’re with your favourite family.
23 years married, 27 year relationship. Thank-you for verbalizing my head, I really couldn't have found those simple words. That is exactly what I try to tell others but fail because .......words👏👏👏🖖
You got a year on us lol. 23yrs married and 26yr relationship.
Words are hard. You ain't wrong.
I was the shocker in my relationship...
i thought girls liked guys who where open about their emotions so i vented about a bunch of personal shit really awkwardly all at once and then they left me lmao
I heard a thing somewhere once that girls don’t like guys who are emotional, girls like guys who are in touch with their (the girl’s) emotions. Probably phrasing it wrong but basically girls want guys to care about their (the girl’s) emotions, not their (guys) own.
Fuck that man, don’t let people change who you are. Stay true to yourself
Not the first time a man made the mistake of believing a woman
Rookie error mate. Did the same in my teens as well.
@@williamwardell4979 terrible advice
Yup. You never cease to be an individual in a relationship.
You and her and then the relationship - It's a collaborative project.
And also, you gotta relate to the other in mind and soul.
That's a fundamental of a RELATION-ship.
Hard agree! this vid was honestly super helpful, so is your comment :)
Bro haven't started the vid yet but that's some profound shit
I truly enjoy these Self-help videos. They are entertaining and informative as well as bite sized and managable. Thank you for these!
Didn't expect a video like this from you. And to be frank I was always someone who in the moment thought I was dating for the right reasons everytime. But thank god for hindsight, and also my current partner. It's clear looking back most of my relationships were meant to fill a hole in myself. My current relationship and the best parts of all my previous relationships were when I was commited, dedicated and focused on supporting my partner.
And now that I'm dating somehow who gives me the same energy I put out it's so clear what some of my past relationships were missing. (not to say I wasn't part of the problem in past relationships)
To summarize: love the video, great advice for anyone and if you were like me just be patient, growing older and realizing when you fuck up and trying to be a better person will hopefully help you end up where you want to be.
Never had a Slavic Tony Robbins video hit me so hard.
Even funnier when you realise Tony robbins is in fact Croatian
Honestly Social Media and as Jordan put, phones are causing a lot of relationship problems. In the sense that people these days want that dopamine hit. Their attention span is low, almost like those 60 second tik toks. Not a lot of people out there have the self-control to either install one of those apps that limit phone use or buy a dumb phone.
Communication is a big part of relationships. Yet I’ve noticed the younger generations are afraid of phone calls. People barely communicate their intentions or what they’re thinking these days. What they want out of life. Add on the prevalent anxieties people have these days and you wonder why relationships fail.
Yeah was a serial dater. Then started dating a psychologist, he did a stress shut down in a house move. So I moved him in for him. I took a day off work and asked for his keas to move him in within a day. I did it I had to pull in every friend I had. Had to pull everything I had. He came home and asked why I did it but I noticed his mental shut down and said if you wanna get married and have kids I've gotta show you I can take over in hard times but he's gotta do the same when I wanna have kids. He's gotta be strong for me then.
This dude always has the coolest jackets.
My wife left me for the bubble man, now I've got nothing.. NOTHING!
After around 5:33 it really started hitting. 18 and man... i never knew jordie could explain what i went through my relationship so well, 2 years ago...😂 WOW.
I reckon this is also a result of deteriorating monogamy & overwhelming choice/comparison or access to dating apps, awareness of our own mental health issues, our busier lifestyles, addiction to other sources of dopamine (creating lack of patience for normal things that seem boring in comparison), the unhelpful advice of self-love gurus posing as clinical psychologists online, shit like “you deserve the best you’re a queen/king” all that verbal candy that alleviates our insecurities, inflates our egos and then creates barriers with others we deem aren’t good enough… there’s so much in our modern lifestyle that affects relationships. At least people aren’t popping out so many babies now lol
Oh and also relying on relationships to make us feel a certain way, rather than it being more of a practical thing (e.g. assessing values to raise a family)
realest comment on here. So god damn true.
@@putnamehereholdmadoodle He probably will, and if he doesn’t… I’m sure he has a reason why (I remember he said he’d steer clear from heavy politics for a while because of the recent arson attack on his house). He won’t be able to conveniently cater to everyone at the time they want it, and it’s perfectly ok that he passionately wants to talk about something else. There can be room for both.
Totally agree. I've had 2 long term relationships (I'm an old millennial) the first (6yrs), I gave a lot, but my partner only took. I came out of that badly damaged and it did not end well. We do not speak now... My second long term relationship (9yrs), we both gave (my partner felt they did not give enough - that I deserved better - because they needed more support than I, but they helped me sooo much in healing the damage from my previous relationship) and while it didn't work out in the end, we still think of each other as family.
You shiny snozzed gronk we love you and so chuffed to be with you big fella
At 22, I haven't had my first relationship yet - yes, that's "kind of sad" as a recent acquaintance put it, but I'm learning to be fine with it for now. I would rather build up my platonic relationships, my work relationships, and just generally invest my time in the intelligent, experienced people around me, and learn from them instead of rushing into something that I'm going to mess up because I don't have the maturity to do it right yet.
honestly same at 24, I feel as if I just wasn't ready for one at all and honestly didn't really give too much of a shit since I had a lot of my emotional needs met through friends and spent my time doing fulfilling hobbies. trying dating on hinge now just to see what's out there tho lol
@@BrandonCourt nah. I have spent the last few years working in hospitality and social work, entertaining at parties and giving presentations. I have noticed that people come to me, hang out with me, I make people happy and offer them new perspectives. I have just been struggling to find someone who wants a committed relationship. I'm not a casual-relationship, friends-with-benefits, low stakes man. So I've been working on building a vibe and a community around me that will help me find people that feel the same way. Help me pick up those skills. No rush. Just build my tribe and surround myself with the right kind of people for me.
@@frankvalentich5410 Extremely good plan, and having that type of support network gives off nothing but green flags for someone who does want a committed relationship. Good job man, and good luck for when you do eventually settle down.
22. lol. I'm 33 still zero relationships to this day (one would be nice but I'm quite content on my own). You'll be fine just focus on yourself.
Dating gets way easier as you get older anyway, especially once you're 30
My first serious partner, who I was with for 3 years, left me for a woman who looked like his dead wife who died of cancer. Kinda boo hoo funny
And my ex (who I was with for 7 years) left me for a gronk who only wanted to get in her pants... right after I got her out of a toxic shared house which ended up shattering our friend group. So I lost my girl, and all my friends. some people just dont care :(
@StormHawksHD I'm so sorry you had to go through that, relationships can be so rough sometimes
@StormHawksHD rough stuff m8. You've probably heard it, but people that use relationships to be rescued are nearly always bad news. I learned the hard way as well.
@@V742 I had been dating her years before she moved into that share house.
thats alright, my daughters mum left me for a fat trans dude. Claiming shes a lesbian now.
Thats the seventh chick who has turned lesbian on me, not even a joke, actual number 7. Im either the best fucking fuck ever, or the absolute worst.
Definitely memorable at the least 😎 😂
trust is hard to deal with when both of you meet on an app. because we both know how easy it is to cheat sadly
That’s one of the few great reasons why you should never do dating apps imo.
Relationships are tough on the psyche. All of them include their own idiosyncrasies. How you handle them defines the result.
"You kinda learn... after a while... eventually..." is the summary of my late 20's 😂
Waiting in eager anticipation for someone to chance a read at a random doc on my desktop that talks about investing in the bubble man and how much more important he (HE) is than me
Can you do a part 2 of this but more on the coercive behaviours in a relationship?
Ps love your videos
Love you Jordan
This is really funny, I didn’t know this went up because I’m now logged out of yt, but around the time this came out was when I pretty much git rejected by a girl I liked. 10/10
had a relationship for 3 months, she got depressed. visited her after a 2hr car ride (ldr), was one of the weirdest days of my life cause i spent of the most day just watching her doomscroll instagram on her phone whilst i just rested beside her in bed staring at the ceiling not knowing what to do. during this depression time she got fixated on playing with slime/putty? this specific one she had was a putty that was brown and it had sprinkles in it resembling a poop slime. she had gone to the bathroom, and i wanted to know all what the fuss was about, so i opened the putty jar but i accidentally spilled all the sprinkles out all on the floor by opening it. thereby after i felt like a real-life sitcom seinfeld episode where i rushed on my hands and knees to pickup these sprinkles that were all scattered across the floor to make sure my gf didnt become even more upset. she had quite a reaction as previously she seperated and counted each of those sprinkles one by one just that week. lmao. go forward 1 month later, we broke up
bruh wtf
hold cigars for each other.. . got it. Thanks, Jordies!
WHY ISNT THE WATER MOVING
This is crazy. I have been doing this unintentionally with my partner. we are married been together 12yrs. And all my mates around me telling me how silly I was to have a joint bank account. Meanwhile non of them have been on long lasting relationships and a few of them have gotten divorces in under year.
Amazing video Jords
From living in Sydney one thing I’ve picked up on is most people don’t want a faithful, loyal relationship anymore like they did in the 20th century. Everyone is a lone wolf here keeping their assets to themselves. Men are unloyal and unfaithful to women assuming they’re all instagram $1ut$, but this is untrue. Women are all just pawns in mens game. I don’t know if relationships are something you can depend on to contribute to success anymore
Relationships are like superannuation funds, if you don't invest into them regularly they wither and die.
However never go into a relationship with the attitude that you are going to "cure" your partner, because it's been my experience that people don't want to be cured, they just want emotional and financial security, and someone that knows how to make them laugh.
Do you get to have a devils with the relationship guy?
So, the tea.
First relationship I had, we were an hour apart and she couldn't drive, and she wasn't out to her parents. Two big red flags right there. But I figured what's the harm, I'm happy to lie about our relationship to keep her parents happy. It was a shocker. I wasn't allowed to hold her hand or hug her or do any form of PDA in public because she was scared. Essentially forced my back into the closet. We dated for a month. She asked me to be her girlfriend then she began leaving me on read, not answering my calls. Which made things difficult to organise to catch-up etc. She practically ghosted me after asking me to be in a relationship. All this being said I'm a useless lesbian and a hopeless romantic who wrote her a song for her birthday, she didn't care, and I texted her happy anniversary for our one month which she also didn't care about. Basically a big mess. I broke up with her over text. And she basically said "yeah I was distant I had no excuses". This kinda messed with my self worth for a while.
My second "relationship" I was in. Lasted 3 months. We were good friends beforehand and when I asked her out, she said yes but asked to take things slow. Totally fine. We got on great however, we didn't kiss, hold hands, none of it. We basically kept being friends with the label of a relationship. I honestly think she wasn't ready. I wanted to remain friends but she said she needed space. I decided to reach out recently and she basically wanted nothing to do with me. Needless to say I haven't been in a "proper relationship" and dating apps suck. So if you could maybe do a video on how to meet someone, would be great! 🩵
Gay relationships are the worst, commitment is practically non-existent. I dated a few gay dudes (I'm bi) and nothing developed because they couldn't keep their proverbial in their pants. Grindr is shocking, the amount of sleaze on there makes me sick, not to mention all the couples "looking for a third" (seriously, why be in a relationship if you're gonna shag other guys anyway). The whole gay scene is f**ked.
Best way I think is to go out and do activities you enjoy in groups. Then if you really hit it off with a person there ask them out for coffee or something. View each attempt or relationship as a learning experience. 'What can I do better next time?"
Friends of friends are always a good shot because they're not strangers but also you don't have the baggage of friendship
I'd love a "how to meet people" vid too. I'm in an industry where all my coworkers are women and flamboyantly gay men...which has facilitated all my friends to be women and gay men. Dating apps suck, so how else does one authentically meet men aside from getting stopped in the street lol
@@madamebkrt Going to church, joining community sports/arts clubs. Or friends of friends are good places to start
Sadly only the treachery of wisdom will confound your clarity.
I love this video. My last two relationships ended amicably. I give full credit to them for that. I'm a bit shit but they are both kind enough to still care about me though they can't be with me.
whats the bubble man?
Shanks coming in with that good wisdom juice
My wedding ended up costing about double what we were planning, and we didn't even plan to have that much available, but we did (without a loan). I wonder where intention and ability to cover costs come into this.
When I hear wedding, I put zeros on the end of costs. Most of them will pay anything.
spot on, though I would also add mutual admiration.
We’ll, this was hard to watch.
I spent the last 3 years at university in a relationship with a lovely women.
Just like you described, we often joked about caring for each either more than ourselves and honestly it was true.
After graduation we decide to go out separate ways because we live in different areas and probably want different things out of life in the short term.
As you predicted, quite expertly, our breakup was mature and amicable and we still talk as friends almost daily. I’m sure it won’t be easy but we’re making it work this way.
At first I thought you were just ranting but there’s actual insight here. If you do find someone who cares for you more than themselves and you haven’t a reason to breakup please think about what you have.
My partner of 8 years left me on Sunday. I didn't see the red flags and was completely unprepared for it. I thought she was happy but apparently not. Not looking forward to the dating game in the current year because I'm completely out of touch with contemporary Aussie culture and have had my head stuck in books for about 5 years now.
The level of narcasism in individuals is producing a profound lack of empathy... makes y1lMaZ grandiose statements regarding his Craig David singing skills seem almost rational and level headed
All by design, same as the rainbow brigade ..
You've all been farmed like sheep...🤣🤣
Was on dating apps, yknow the first problem, and found someone and chatted for a bit. Eventually it led to a date and at the end of the date, after driving me home outside her car she goes in to kiss me. I did not want to kiss on the first date personally so i didn't, then they went in AGAIN and then i had to say something out loud about how i don't want to kiss on the first date! when I tried to discuss it later she ghosted me after mentioning it.
Just eat the damn orange!
I decided relationships aren't really worth it. My entire childhood, I was surrounded by adults who married and divorced like musical chairs, and they seemed just miserable as fuck especially after having kids... MY PARENTS included lol. My mom was a very cold person emotionally and scary when she would drink, it really kinda fucked me up because I can't help but emotionally detach. The other house wasn't much better at all, my dad was addicted to opiates and working 12 hour shifts while my stepmom would lug my infant sisters off on me (I, age 13 and high functioning autistic) while she went out to bang dudes to fund her meth addiction.
The point is that abuse and parentification cemented my decision to not have my own family, let alone a relationship. I see them as chains of misery, and when I broke free of my family, I drank that freedom like a glass of fresh water-- that was so refreshing, and to this day I cherish my freedom and feel relieved to be left alone to do whatever the fuck I want 😌 Relationships are a lot of work and I think I'd absolutely suck at it based on how I enjoy living my life now.
Sounds like you're gonna meet someone soon who may just change your mind!
I can relate to parts of your story, but mostly that I wasn't looking to be partnered (and was genuinely happy with that) ... then, at the absolute least expected moment... BAM! Over 10 years together now and that still blows my mind
@@hatecubed Nahhh I'm completely fine. I really just care about Jesus, and the peace I feel with that is unparalleled. But people still do weirdly pity me and make reassurances, and I'm not sure how to respond...
@@MissusAnon i only meant in terms of, it only seems to happen when you least expect it. Not that you may need or even want it :)
Loved my ex and we were about to make it to three years. Did everything I could for her while she couldn’t cause she was struggling. She is now meeting up with my ex best friend. Loved her and we did try. Thought I was finally loved unconditionally but guess she loved me so much she needed to let me go. It’s all good though. Just got to work on myself and take the knowledge/experience she gave me into how I want to be for my next partner in how ever long that’ll be.
howu going boss
Cant even take him seriously when he says bubble man 😂
When I first went to college I started dating the first girl that lijed me because I was horney. After about a month I wanted to break up with her and was waiting till the next time I saw her. Then while gaming I got the text from her that she wanted to break up. I was ecstatic. Fast forward a few months I get a random text at 2am from her saying "I still love you" and I just said "if I remember correctly you broke up with me". She then called me the worst bf ever and we never spoke again.
P.S. she was very into astrology and crystals
I took my bubble man outback and shot him.
So 'i can fix her' works?
Dated this girl at the beginning of the pandemic. Met because she joined us for a Discord gaming night on the server we had made for a niche podcast built around a Facebook Meme Page. E Dated for 6 months and only saw her in person twice, during which she gave me strep throat so bad it took 2 months and 4 rounds of antibiotics to kick it.
Within a couple months we broke up and agreed to do it amicably because we were still in the same friend groups. She wasn’t terribly upholding of that agreement which sucked but I knew that when she was trying to bash me it was best to hold my mouth shut.
Fast forward two months, she has a new boyfriend. She met him playing Harry Potter GMod RP. Within a month of that announcement she comes to our friend group and tells us about how she’s going to go see him on the other side of the continent, in a different country, on a one way ticket he’s bought her.
After some grilling about specifics by our friends she leaves all our group chats because we were apparently grilling her more about the safety around the situation than her mom.
A month later she flys one way down to see him and within 3 weeks of getting there they got engaged, he still lived in his mothers house at the time. Believe they got married recently, wishing them nothing but the best
This is the nerdiest thing I've ever read
bro never E-Date an E-Girl
That’s probably the least weird thing that has happened on GMod Harry Potter RP
Yevgeny Prigozhin's break up with his body just happened today
rip big boss, you will be missed
Prigozhin finally got his ammo from Shoigu
instructions unclear, arrested for harvesting chimp thumbs
Broke it off with a girl I was seeing for a little while today… she proceeeded to tell me and later text me saying I should have done it via text 😅
I had a friend that just piled on with bagage so I left for my health
I feel personally attacked....my divorce just got finalized lol.
He broke up with me after discovering my spoon collection. We're still friends though.
My last relationship ended with a plus size cosplayer who epitomised the toxicity within the so called cosplay community. She made me borderline suicidal (I’m ok now) for 3 months. Then when I rose up with a full heart at an event cosplaying Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter and said “hey crystal” she turned around smiling but the blood or cholesterol should I say just drained from her face with disappointment. #crystalClear
Weren't relationships based on 'i can fix them' called toxic for the last couple decades?
My longest relationship ended cause i had to learn to stop being nice and letting myself be abused. That one lasted 5 years, now I've been single for 10.
That's not what Jordan's getting at. He's not saying "get them to think like you", but "help them in things they need and hope they do the same".
That's what I mean though with my comment. Lots of relationships where one partner is a giver result in or attract partners that tend to take more than give.
It's not as easy as being a giver means you'll meet a giver which Jordan says at one point in the video.
Unfortunately just hoping they will reciprocate has put many people into situations such as mine where you may not even realize how bad it was until you remove yourself from it.@@sephjnr
Hey stooge, I know what I want to do, I sort of know how to do it, however I often struggle with motivation in the process. Tell me what books to read (or other resources (like a TH-cam video...)) so I don't have to filter all the bs, pretty please :)
I feel that my question is, but does Jordan shanks have a long term relationship? Because this advice is all well and good to say but without the leader having what they preach it's just bogus.
I think he has been in a relationship with someone from North / East of the Himalaya's for many years ....
they're engaged now, I believe
Yes
Do you have advice for men who weren't male models?
just get fit and get healthy, hit the gym just focus on yourself. Looks aint everything man, your mental well being is.
I'm here to confirm some shit...
19 and never even been in a relationship but I'll come back if I need this video lol
Bold of you to assume any Gen Z men are even getting relationships. Watch some Gerbert Johnson, everything he has said I've experienced.
Yeah, I’ve watched a bit of him and felt a lot of what he says. I made myself stop because whilst being told what you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing is really nice, I didn’t see a pathway out of it from what he was saying.
I don’t care how many studies there are or what percentages of relationships don’t/never work, I see people make it work. The people who make it work aren’t moping around and crying about it, they’re just doing.
The unfortunate thing about Gerbert Johnson is he’s really well spoken, well researched, and what you’d think to be an attractive man. When you have a role model like that telling you you’re doomed, and telling you exactly what has happened to you, it’s easy to fall in and feel doomed. But the people in relationships don’t feel doomed, and most of them didn’t feel doomed before they started.
Still haven’t found someone myself (23M) yet, but I’d rather go through life hopeful and positive rather than miserable.
@@catcalamity105 Gerbie does give you advice on how to get out of it, but he cannot directly fix your issues and anyone who claims they can is a liar. Gerbie basically says you are the only one who can improve yourself because its true. and by improving yourself, you'll improve others.
Based
Hey jordy, wondering if you’ll consider becoming a therapist? Could greatly benefit my mental health thanks.
Chimp thumbs you say......
I was dating a girl for six months, and I hope to buy a first car and a quarter sleeping with my my phone and when I broke up with her, she came to my house at two in the morning with a knife and start smashing on my door, and telling me that I could never do better than her
The real question is: did ya call the Cops or Chris Brown?
❤❤
Welp I’m not adult then
Today's notes read: make the bubble man healthy
I have always been the emotional support block of my family. I do not receive any support back and when I try they tell them something they tell me to shut up or say "I don't want to hear it" like it's a chore. I'm not the oldest or youngest and it makes me sad that they have always isolated me to deal with my issues alone. I don't know what to do, because I can't make them care, and I have stressed my problem with them with the giving/non receiving relationship, but "Its to much".
Live alone
Single forever
Work everyday
Die on the job
Be a man.
top tier 4:00
‘It very rarely does’ - *sigh*…… yeah, I’m one of those rare ones and yes, it was amiable and we are still on good terms. It was 4 1/2 years.
But Jordan is right, you care about them enough that you make a strong effort on your part to help them improve themselves, importantly, *on their terms* and what *they* know deep down they can improve on and vice versa.
But also importantly, it is also knowing when you can’t help and respecting that. How do you know when? You communicate and they will tell you and vice versa.
I learnt so much from her and she learnt so much from me.
Fucking adore you. Okay, so during a manic episode I brutally sabotaged a relationship by cheating with two people and letting the poor fucker find out. I later found out that I, in fact, have Bipolar Disorder. I am getting help.
Who's in Paris?
Why does he move around so much
i feel like i need to remind you that you do have females in your youtube audience.. also that has to have been to cleanest outro you've ever done
Debate destiny.
I broke up with my girlfriend after watching the Barbie movie and realising that Ken was right. I'm Kenough, and I want a long-distance low commitment casual relationship.
long-kentance low kenmitment kensual kenlationship.
dude is in the manosphere pipeline
you just want to be a guru don't you Jordan?
Kirin J Callinan fan spotted
Why
@@Murrummba >Australian
Go away