Every dad has a way to express the way he feels to the people he love. I totally agree. I made my daughter an elevated bed with cabinets all around it for dresser drawers and a crawl space underneath. As she's gotten older, I've offered her my man cave because her room is now a bit too small for her. She refuses to leave that room because the bed is built into the frame of the house. Its holding up a water bed so it needed the support.
Whenever my mom and I fight, she would always resort to the, "This is why no one likes you". It shouldve went from one ear to another but its damaging when you hear it coming from your mom over and over again
My mother and my sister have both on numerous occasions told me this and a lot of other verbal abuses. And have not so much as uttered a half hearted apology for doing so even once yet. I feel you. ❤️
I agree with this so much but what makes me sad is in my area generational trauma doesn't really happen but all the older millennials in our area keep saying that we are not real humans because we didn't go through generational traume
“I wish you’d just die” was something my mom told me a few years back and I still hear it every day in my head especially when I’m feeling worthless or unloved I just hear it on repeat
"You can't talk to her like that! Take it back!!" This is what a great father would do for their child, even if he's not the best with words. He still loves you so much, but If you don't have a good father or mother, I don't have a good mother but we can make it out together!!
fuck that you say that shit to me find someone else to take care of you. I can help you find someone but I’m not gonna support you if you drop that shit on me. The joke was funny too lol
@@Jan-mu6vs in America at least you end up in an income based home and those places are utter shit, therefore you don't have to make an effort for a woman who doesn't love you
My mom did same I have 5 sibling , in less than 7 years she have 4 kids I and my sister was her puch bag If she stress she will said mean thing to me not her 3 fav child Its scar my heart unti now For real i love cats and dog more than i love my mom I feed stray animal than give my mom money And everybody critic me because of that They never know what she did to me since i was litle Many time i try suicide because of her I try to fight it because in my religion if i suicide i will never go to heaven I will end up be ghost enslave by other ghost
Yet another example of sons being favored by mothers and forgiven. Even when her anger was more directed at him, she decide to take it out on the daughter 🙄
I'm sorry you have to hear that... from experience, I know there's not much I can say to make it better, but know that your existence is important. I hope that one day, it doesnt hurt like it does today. Maybe consider talking to a teacher you trust just about how you feel. If you're school has a counselor, maybe you can talk to them too! It's hard to reach out for help, but that's because it's the hardest step.
I know the feeling. My mom told me “Your a waste of time and money, stop being so immature” when I was around 8. When parental figures say things like this, they are either just in the heat of the moment things or they actually mean it. Either way, what they say shouldn’t cause you to feel negatively about yourself but if it does, then their toxicity should be outcast from you. No person should ever be told that they aren’t loved, are waste of (insert something here) or anything like that. I hope that you’re doing well ❤
My mother told me Infront of my two teenage children, "I hate you, I hate you, GOD I hate you!" all because I told her that her oldest son was not allowed in my house, around me or my children. I refuse to let my abuser around me or mine. she refused to believe he was abusive. Now he is a level 1 sex offender. The truth always finds its way out.
I'm so sorry your mother didn't give you the support you needed and deserved. And to verbally abuse you in front of your children... What a terrible woman. I'm glad you protected yourself, and your children. You deserve peace, love, and support
why is no one seeing in her mother's shoe? Every mother want their kids to be the best. You can take your kids far away from him, but it is too cruel to say that to your own mother that I do not want to see tour shameful son who is also your siblings, her grandchildren near her son. The only prayer I can pray for you is to not feel the same pain your mother feel. If everyone says all the wrong things about you, it is your mother that will stand and said Ni even with crystal evidence. YOU ARE ALSO A MOTHER. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.
The fact that a parent told their child that they didn’t love them anymore and that they had to leave the house immediately was brushed off as though it was a joke is so heartbreaking Im glad that her father was there to intervene because there are so many other people who don’t have that figure who will stand up for them
This happened in my home many times when I was a teenager. I was initially shocked by your comment but I realise now that this is not a common nor acceptable thing to occur to children. My mother and I have a great relationship now.
This is what some families do to avoid talking about the fact that they need therapy 😪 but take it from me, if you sweep things under the rug for too long, you’re going to have a lumpy rug and have a breakdown eventually
@@ElectricPansies we'd be hard pressed to try convincing them of that tho, they tell you you're "just trying to cause problems" they'll lie to themselves to avoid feeling any type of pain, pain is unavoidable and necessary but ppl treat it like a death sentence.
It always amazes me how some parents won’t even stick up for their child in an argument where the other parents in the wrong. Your dad is wonderful for sticking up for you, and I’m glad he did what he did :)
It’s about displaying unity which is important, but this was not something to unite on. Hopefully the instances you’re referring to aren’t nearly as horrifying as telling one’s child you don’t love them anymore.
I can never tell if this woman's stories are inspirational, heart warming, or just terrible. I can also never tell is she's healed or not from what seems to be a great deal of family trauma
Ikr, for me, I think it's her adding a vid in the bg of her making/eating food while telling these stories. Instead of feeling sad or inspired I just feel hungry
Tryna mend this broken heart It's okay not to be strong My sorrows have a million layers And I've been told I wear them well, Your comment reminded me of this song and so did the video tbh. The song is “Are You Feeling Sad” by Little Dragon ft. Kali Uchis
I love when parents act all high and mighty like when they say "I brought you into this world and I can take you out" like you were the one who signed up for me, I never asked to be born you did.
Shit, I heard this my whole life from my mom. She always was "joking" but, along with other things done or said, you start to believe maybe you'd be better off "out of the world", that maybe you were never truly wanted. This phrase really destroyed me.
I know im late, but holy shit im sorry. You don't deserve that. Hoping that thought has escaped you a little bit (if this comment hasn't already reminded you).
Not sure if I'm stupid but wouldn't that be a good thing? It's normal for mothers to regret getting pregnant, because of all the stress of the situation and all, or whatever her circumstances were, wouldn't that mean she loves you?
My mom told me this story from a young age and was always so proud of it. She did drugs with my Dad, that's how they got together. She stopped when she got pregnant with me because she was guilty my Dad forced her to get abortions for SIX pregnancies before me. She fought with him one day when she was almost due and decided to go out and use to because she decided she didn't want me after all. She went to a bar and met a usual suspect. He agreed to get something for her and made a call. Before the drugs arrived he, apparently, had a change of heart and more or less got a bunch of the guys at the bar to force her out. She kind of came to her senses a little while later, I guess, and I was born not too much time after that. She'd smile and say "things happen for a reason, so glad I had you after all." I haven't spoken to her in a few years now for cumulative reasons but I'll never forget how she smiles recalling those events.
My mother would always tell me that she wish she died whenever we would make her mad, it always freaked me out making sure I’d consistently check on her, and she has the audacity to ask why.
My mom is the same, like anytime I disagree or do something she doesn't like she's like...oh itd be better for you if I die instead right, will you have your mental peace then
As a Asian American woman who has never had anyone, including my dad, defend me so fiercely from my mom, this makes me want to cry so hard. We all deserve parents and family who will defend us like that.
I'm "caucasian" and my family had a hard time expressing their emotions too.... we would usually just scream at each other or hold it inside and be passive aggressive
My mother wasn’t always the best mom. And my dad wasn’t perfect either. Looking back, I know they were just trying their best, but sometimes, they failed. We all make mistakes and I’ve long forgiven my mom for this incident. But… me forgiving her doesn’t at all diminish how much a hero my father became to me in that moment.
my mother told me that she regret having me. Edit: Thanks for the supportive comments but, I Just want to clarify that I said this not because I want Pity or sympathy, I said this because I want to let you know that sometimes there's nothing wrong with being Heartless and Cruel to people. Because I learned that in the hard way.
@@mathewcarlsardon4342 I never regretted meeting you in this comment, remember that I haven't actually met you yet........ But I was still happy that I met you here right now. If your mom told you that she regretted having you, remember that I didn't regret meeting you :) Edit: Thank you for all the likes you guys gave me ;)
Me and my dad have a complicated relationship due to his anger issues, but he always come to my rescue when my mom is being unreasonable. It makes me forget everything that’s happened. He’s the best, but not always the best. Same with my mom.
@@milkandspice1074 I’m ngl, it’s a horrible thing that happens with abuse sometimes. My sisters verbally abusive but when she hasn’t been abusive for a few days I forget what she’s done. I feel like I’m the one who’s torturing myself 😂
I remember when my mother told us she'll leave us, I cried so hard that night then I heard my father saying "I'm here." That phrase made me cry even more because I didn't grew up with him so most of the time I ignored him or don't talk to him because I feel awkward. When I heard that phrase, it broke me because he is not as expressive as my mother and he is always at the back listening to whatever shit we say to each other. So I promised to myself that if I finish my degree, and found a job, I will make sure to spoil him with anything he wants
I'm a little confused by your story sorry but your mother wasn't with your father and she was with the guys most of the time and I'm guessing she was fed up or something and said to you she want to leave you guys and your father was there to console you?
Omg my mother does the same… When we make a mistake or forget to do something she will say “God, what did I do to deserve these brats” or “someday i’ll leave the forkin house.” She’s especially both verbally and physically abusive. I missed a question on my homework and i’m guessing we all know what happened next. There was this time (i was like 6 or something) where I was getting bullied. My mom then said something like “you probably deserved it.” I got depression at age 7 because of this. To this day i’m still on the edge of life. It’s sarcastically amazing how often moms do this.
@@mortzon5681 I’m sick and tired of all of it man. When a girl gets sad right people say “aww hope u get through it” or “stay strong” but when we say were sad society tells us “you’re a male bro, man up” its so unfair man
@@blaze.309 so true mate. And when we finally open to a GF, she will us that as ammunition next time you have a fight. She's my ex today btw. But my current GF is a sweetheart, submissive and value family. I have opened up to her about many things and she has been supportive all the way through. But she is very rare one
Once those words come out “i dont love you no more” its never the same after that. If something small like a piercing is enough to make my parents say that then i guess they never cared for me lol
Thats one of the boundaries that once overstepped, cant be backed up off of. The last time i EVER told my mother something like that, i was 14 unchecked mentally ill and had just been sexually harassed, but thats no excuse. Thats one of those things that you just dont fucking say unless you really want to burn that bridge once you get to it.
And what’s your offense on overgeneralizing a person because of one mistake they made over the countless sacrifices they’ve made? They’re still your parents, whether you like them or not, And your parents still have you, their child; their pride and joy. If they never cared for you, then you wouldn’t have the privilege of being here right now.
@@yt_astrral I can both agree and disagree with this. There’s a saying where kids should be more appreciative of their parents but why aren’t there more, parents should be appreciative of their kids? I can understand there are those kids who just treat their parents like crap when they’re just trying their hardest but there are also those parents who are just down right horrendous and I feel like your statement just doesn’t specify those types of parents at all.
@@yt_astrral I do agree with the "overgeneralizing" part, people are complicated and one action does not define who they are. But those "countless sacrifices" still DOES NOT make any harmful actions okay, at all. It does not take away the pain, it does not make any anger towards their parent invalid. You can recognize someone has done so much for you and STILL be angry and hurt by something they did wrong to you.
I am a 37 year old mother of the most amazing 16 year old. All the comments below of the horrible things mothers said to their kids seriously made me cry...I wish I could take you all in. Please remember: You are amazing, and its your moms loss...NOT yours. I am so proud of you
My aunts always told my brother that he “was just like your dad” and then would say horrible things about him. And people still act confused when he moved across the country on his 18th birthday and never comes back now. I miss him but he deserves better
My grandma's biggest insult when I was a kid was to call someone by her son's name. As a child, I just didn't want to be called by his name. As an adult, I think about how that must feel for him.
Man this hurt. My parents always praised my older brothers compared to me, I think it’s because I was born with cerebral palsy and they hold resentment because they both had to help raise someone disabled growing up. It seemed like nothing I did was good enough and even won district with my disability. It’s weird now because all of my family is struggling financially except me
Sucks I know. It was only after other people would come up to me and tell me how great I was & you could see my in mother that she was incredibly surprised, even stammered a bit before pretending she'd been supportive. It was like I only had value once other people gave it to me. "You must be so proud" Oh. Oh yeah, about that. Yeah ye--yep, so proud." I've seen better acting in p*rn. It affects you in ways none of us can even fully explain. My self esteem is non existent to this day. I'm sorry you had to endure & I'm proud of you. ❤
Jokes on you, I hear that frequently... TKV must have heard it only once when she was 19, I hear it almost every week, this has been going since I was 10, now I am 13.. Edit- Thank you all for being kind and stuff! I am doing well! I am sure my parents don't mean it, maybe because of frustration, they might have said it..
“i hate you” something my mom said a few weeks ago and i can still hear it everyday when i walk into the house she just acts like she didnt say anything and acts like everything is all cool. i will never forget that day.
I'm so sorry,my story Is similar ,I was ten years old when my mom told me I hate you and get out of my house,I didn't really understand at the time but now five years later it hurts me,till this day she denies it saying I'm cruel for remembering her actions and what she put me through.
People say things they don't mean all the time, you're going to have to learn that. I hear kids telling their parents they hate them all the time when they're upset, they don't actually gate their parents, as I'm sure your mom doesn't really hate you. There's things that aren't ok to say but people make mistakes sometimes really terrible ones. It's what makes us human. I really hope your relationship with your mom is ok and that she was having a tough day and apologized
That's does sound horrible, and I hope you do not believe what your mother has told you, because I'm sure your a good person who is great and will achieve great things, and their are some ways to get help, for you or her, their are numbers you can call and other actions, I hope things are alright, and please keep your head up no matter how hard things get
Negative examples can teach us just as much as positive ones. Having experienced whatever you experienced might make you _the best_ kind of parent, determined not to repeat your parents' mistakes. But you know you better than I do, so if you really think it's a bad idea, then don't have kids.
@@1MegaBubble it's not really that simple. I've been on that edge, and the singular determination not to act like my father stressed me out and I ended up acting identical to him
@@TheSaxAppeal well I have a dad that was a butt yet I didn't turn out like him. It's on the individual you take responsibility for yourself. That's basically saying you don't take responsibility for your actions cause you had daddy issues we all been there. So maybe you just need to do some self reflecting
Repeating the cycle is a choice and you can choose not to. My mom used her traumatic childhood to justify the trauma she gave me. I now have children and actively choose to not project or perpetuate my childhood onto them. I actually take my parents as a guide of what not to do. The key is being self aware and getting control of your own emotions before you discipline your kids, not after.
That’s honestly terrible, it’s not okay to say that to any child, minor or adult. You are one of the bravest and strongest women I know and I look up to you immensely. Thank you for living through that. And thank you for your content, thank you for brightening up my days and inspire me to also become a strong independent woman once I grow up!
I think sometimes we forget our parents are just big kids trying to figure stuff out for them selves, it's no excuse, none of our shitty behavior are excusable but we can still understand and forgive.
@@hizee5515 yes and I totally agree on that. Parents are also humans, just as the children are. And people do seem to forget, me included. But that’s still no excuse as you said.
@@valntina-parts it’s so painful to know you’re right bc when you’re traumatized for all the hits you took as kid and you know you’re parents were influenced by their upbringing, you, well at least I, go insane because it’s hard to not think about the fact that they still did what they.
There are circumstances when you stop loving someone, though. Obviously this was a ridiculous reason to say it, totally out of pocket. It was used to just hurt her, and she didn't mean it. It was unnecessarily cruel. But as an example, I told my uncle I don't love him anymore. I told him this because he was sat in our living room after my mother likely saved his life by getting him a functional pulse oximeter after his covid diagnosis, after she managed to find movers who could get his condo packed and put in storage since he was supposed to move within 3 days of his diagnosis, after he lied by omission about whether he gotten vaxxed the first time he came over, after she went above and beyond for him while he was in hospital, after he told her he would not get vaccinated after all this. I told him that since he didn't give a shit whether he lived or died, I didn't care if he did beyond how it would hurt my mother. And I don't. He voted in a man who actively tried to take rights and protections away from me. He talked to me like I'm a failure constantly mocking me for having to move back in with my parents. I don't love him and I'm not obligated to just because we're related.
@@devent10n Wow I’m sorry that happened, and that is definitely a justified reason to stop loving someone, regardless of who they are to you (family, friend, etc.).
It affected me more than I thought to hear what your father said. I love my dad and he’s one of the best people I’ve ever known, but whenever my mother’s been cruel to me he’s taken her side even when he acknowledged to me privately that she was wrong. That said, once when my dad was out of town (my mom would get worse when he was away), she screamed at me at the top of her lungs for asking if she was okay, and my oldest siblings (twins) came rushing in, held me, and said firmly, “Don’t yell at him.” My siblings and I had never been really close growing up since they were six years older than me, but in that moment where my mom was at her most volatile and frightening they protected me. They’re very quiet, lowkey, conflict-averse people; I had never before nor have I since seen them that assertive and firm. I will never forget that they were there for me that day.
My mom has always behaved like a teenager during fights. Whenever we fought she said stuff like she regretted having me, I should go look for other parents bc she didn't want me anymore. Sure she always said sorry afterwards but it stuck with me
Of course it did if you rip a paper in half and then tape It back together it doesn't change the fact it's been ripped in the first place I'm sorry you have to deal with this!!! Here's to hoping your mom goes to therapy to heal her inner child! Have a blessed day!!!
Same here. My mother is also hispanic. Ive never met another hispanic who’s family isnt as dysfunctional as mine. Only a select people get that luxury. Everyone else treats it as normal. I got a personality disorder and will forever struggle to get through day to day life. I am unable to make deep, emotional connection with anyone because of my disorder. I hallucinate, and suffer from delusions. I get overwhelmed easily and shut down. I disassociate hard and never truly experienced any kind of love up until i met my fiancé. Its disabling. Granted i am one of the worst case scenario’s (besides literally fucking dying). I am better now but no one should have to struggle as hard as I did. My mother is a good person, she is also mentally ill and the product of a fucked cycle of generational, hispanic, mother-daughter abuse (emotional mostly but physically until i grew much bigger than her). As an adult, i can sympathize with her. But i can never forgive her for as long as i live.
My mom called me a parasite when I was going through severe mental health issues and had panic attacks nearly every other week. I will pay her that courtesy back when she is at her lowest, because that is what I learned from her.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, but thats not the solution. Telling your mom the same thing would not make a difference between you and her. Instead you should be the bigger person, forgive her not for her but so that you can heal from your past and live a peaceful life. God bless you ❤❤
@@canacolaco658Why do they have to be the bigger person? They were a CHILD, the adult was supposed to be the bigger person and refused to do so, they owe their parents nothing.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT A GOOD FATHER YOU'VE GOT my dad would literally agree, worse, he would fuel it up by telling my mum and reminding her of my past mistakes
Wow. Random connection because I was just under a video watching people defend the terrible father that is Thomas Markle. It is these private ugly and painful line-crossing moments (many even worse than this) that I’m so aware of so many children in the world experiencing because of very flawed ( read: _bad_ ) parents that made me so understanding of and sympathetic to Meghan Markle. I’ve seen firsthand how adult kids in abusive relationships with parents will maintain for decades a deep urge to forgive transgression after transgression and love said bad parent through such harm because they just want mom, dad, or both to be the loving mom or dad they’ve desired since they were kids. Markle’s former friend even said it felt like Meghan had to raise and parent her dad when they were kids because of how mentally and emotionally immature and abusive he was. Then she still financially supported him for years. This generation is the most educated on toxic familial behaviors there’s ever been. Forgiveness is good but so is cutting out _unapologetically_ and _unchanging_ toxic people from your life even when it’s family. It’s such a shame that certain people hate her so irrationally that they’d ignore her dad’s blinding red flags and lose the ability to be objective, so actually defend such a brazenly abusive and bad father. But that’s just what occurred to as I was reading these comments of empathy and parental trauma story-sharing.
@@jaydenking7408 do you know what a bad father is? If you did then you'd know which ones are good. Some are not very good at showing/sharing emotions with people around them. And some straight up don't give a shit. So she does have a good father that stood up to such harsh words.
of course they do. my mother said it to me everyday of my life until i was 16, and even when i came back to stay with her and care or her as she was dying from cancer. reminding me how much i ruined her life, telling me how she wished i had never been born, that she had been forced to keep me. it wasn't the beatings that hurt me it was those words that hurt me an she knew it.
@@marytramp5678 honestly after that you should have just left her. If she hates you so much, she doesn't deserve that much care and attention. She's horrible
This is so representative of how such comments, even if not meant to hurt us long term, can have such a detrimental effect on our confidence. I’m so sorry this happened to you and for your mother to lash on you like that. There is never an excuse for that and I’m happy to know that your father’s love is so powerful for you even if you can’t always see it❤️ We all still love your mother by the way😘
If my mama said something like that to me I wouldn’t be able to look at her the same honestly especially since I love her so much that would hurt me a lot 😟
Once a while back, my mother was shaking and crying on the couch. I can't remember why and then she looked at me with the most pained expression and both softly and loudly at the same time. Asked me "what is wrong with you." One of the most painful things about this is. She doesn't even remember saying this to me. But it's sticks with me every day of my life. sometimes, when I look at her all I hear are those words, and I can't help but think "what is wrong with me?"
Why is it the absolute worse things they can't remember? I wonder if they literally block it out so they don't feel like a horrible person. My favorites that I can remember right now is my mom telling me "I wish I had a normal daughter that I could dress pretty like everybody else." (Ive always dressed in a stereotypically boyish way), and the time she tried to tell me to essentially be in to this boy because his family has money. I was like 13 at the time 😐
Same case for me. She doesn’t remember any of the horrible things she’s done. Maybe it’s because she was in such a blind rage that her state was dissociative, maybe she’s lying, maybe she just forgot because it was that unimportant to her. My sister has also now forgotten what happened to us too, I’m the only one that still remembers. I’ll never be able to forget.
my brother would slap me really hard if I talked to a boy ( not dating just normal talking ) he would literally use his belt bc he slapped my big sister one time with a belt bc of a boi
@@animefan300yearsago your brother needs good beating... I don't know from where you are ,I am an Indian and here we celebrate brother sister's relationship and elder sister is kept at tge place of our mother ...... Even if you have a boyfriend, HE doesn't have any rights to hit you... brother should be protective, because toxic and abusive people are everywhere....this is the only relationship which is very precious as we can be BFF and parents both He doesn't deserve to be called a brother
“Some parents don’t deserve kids but all kids deserve parents” Edit: yes all parents deserve kids and sometimes it’s not the parents fault it could be the grandparents fault how they were treated when THEY were younger and now they do the same to their child because they think it’s “normal” it’s actually devastated cause the way children are being treated at home has caused many suicides also one at my sisters school it breaks my heart someone could say such a thing that a child could be left in a hospital because they are not perfect that they do not meet the expectations of a child these replys are really hurting my heart every child deserves a parent Idgaf what u say they do need someone to teach them as they grow older to be better to be the bigger person not always wanting the last hit. Also… it could be severe bullying that draws them over the edge. I think if someone gets treated that way by their parents find the nearest retiring home u won’t regret it ❤️
@World_Peace! really? I've never seen people say that not all kids deserve parents, but honestly I agree- not all kids and/or parents deserve each other
@@harp7803 Well I kinda disagree, I think every kid deserves parents if they treat their parents bad then that’s kinda the parents fault for not teaching them what’s wrong and what’s not
@@harp7803 I respectfully disagree. i feel that a kid acts the way they do because of the way they were taught or everything around them. Kids get taught by parents, kids learn from parents, so if a kid is acting up, they should get taught better and learn from it. Kids learn from parents, every parent learned what worked for them and teach it upon the kids, everyone learns differently because they are taught from different people, in different places. A kid should be held accountable for there mistakes but it shouldn't be a reason why they don't deserve a parent- they just need to be taught better. "Every kid deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a kid"
People used to be so immature about the prospects of having children and when they did have children they didn't even think about learning to be a parent nor care about the consequences and just putting it in their children, i'm kinda glad now that our generation is learning and being mature because of their experiences with their parents
“And the then we laughed about the whole thing” Ahahahaha daughter isn’t it so funny how I just told you I don’t love you and verbally evicted you from my house? Lol yes so funny
My mother has before said “I wish you weren’t my daughter.” And has a slight problem of always comparing me with other people. She doesn’t do it anymore but every so often it still affects me.
my mom used to say the most horrible things to me when my dad wasn't around and then change the story and make me the villain when he got home. She would throw a fit if he ever took my side until he switched over to her side just to diffuse the situation. I too got the "i don't love you" at age 10 all because i was giving her a hard time because she wouldn't let me take my doll to the grocery store. I asked her why she had always told me she loved me and she said "because that's what moms are supposed to do." I'm 22 now and our relationship is non existent. She still blames me for the childhood abuse *she* put me through.
saying this to remind people the importance of the words we choose to use. There are some lines that should never be crossed. I haven't believed a single "i love you" from my mom since.
"You won't get any respectful job" said by my mother when i was at the lowest point of my life. There are other hurtful things said by her but this one rings in my head every now and then.
this reminds me of the time i told my mom she was the reason of why i was depressed and she looked me up and down and said "then why don't you just k1ll y0urs3lf then" very loudly and my dad starts screaming "what the f" and "don't say that to her" it's always stuck with me and it always will tbh even if she said sorry.
OMG .....I could NEVER say that to my kids. She is so wrong! You are worthy of love and needed in this world. ❤️ I'm glad you didn't take her insane advice
Asian mother-daughter relationships seems to be like this in my experience and for those around me, but I guess it’s sample bias. Even then, I’d say it’s pretty common regardless of race, but particularly for asians
@@youtubespy9473 i mean you don't know her relationship with her mother? she doesn't need you to tell her if her relationship with her mother is good or not.
@@Muth Thank you for your comment. I was a tad bit shocked when I saw that my point became misconstrued. It’s really sad that people would become so defensive especially when I probably share similar experiences as them.
Why did she hit you again? Like what did she expect you to do? Be like: oh I'm so sorry you said that. I would be like:😒 umm I'm sorry so you Expect me to apologize or what? This never happened with me but I'm so sorry it did with you
I kinda had a similar situation with my mom the last time I saw her, but my dad would never tell her like that. Doesn't matter what she does, he'll never tell her she did something bad.
Normally I feel like if both parents are reasonable people, they should be a united front. But this was not a normal, level-headed thing, and I feel like it helped to show the child (even if they weren’t a child) that they are loved and protected
@@williamshakespeare722 same here. Everyone seemed to take up for my brother. I was the one that was messed up and everyone turned their backs on me yet coddled the abuser. He sexually molested me and others but he was the one who needed understanding and love. My Mom wasn't there for me and now I can't have that talk with her, I will never hear her say she's sorry because she died almost 4 years ago. My daughter said something to me that really hit me, hit my heart. She said, "As we get older we have to parent ourselves, parent that child that is still hurt because no one is coming, they have their own mess to deal with, so we have to deal with the mess they created because no one is coming". I've put myself through so much not realizing that it was from my childhood trauma and now I have to parent that child inside that is still hurt. It sucks but I'll be better in the end. I didn't have a father to tell my Mom to take it back, she was a single mother who was also an alcoholic. Behind every smile is a story. God bless your journey.
It probably wasn't solely about the brother. I'm sure, in some way, it was probably like 'if YOU hadn't gotten your eyebrow pierced, HE wouldn't be dyeing his hair.". Her mother probably took these things as her failing her kids, in a very weird way. Parenting is hard. I did like how her father stood up for her. My mother used to slap me, and my brother, in our faces on occasion. I really think that she had bi-polar disorder and she'd get so worked up, she almost couldn't help it. But anyway, one day she did that and my father, who is very quiet and calm told her that if she did that again, that would be the last thing she did. He wasn't threatening to beat her or anything. I think he'd just had enough, really. (The rest of this is super long and I apologize...) So for the actual point of the comment, why wouldn't you want to make up with your mother? Have you never said anything out of frustration or anger then regretted it but was too stubborn to take it back? I see things differently because my mom died when I was 17 (I'm 40 now) but there's nothing that she could do or say that I wouldn't want to make up with her about. Because I was so young when she died, we fought a lot. Teenage years are rough. She was also miserable and sick, seeing as she was dying of cancer for at least a year. This was her 2nd time having it and she was suffering a lot, especially at the end. I'm also disabled and she'd started getting sick again during my last hospital stay where I was in the hospital for 3 months. She didn't tell anyone because she was determined to take care of me because she was a great mother, even with her flaws. My dad shielded me and my brother from all her suffering so we didn't know a lot about it. We didn't know that she literally couldn't hold anything down for days, that she was throwing up almost constantly, etc. It was my senior year and my brother had already graduated high school. We were busy with our lives. When she went to the hospital for the last time, I honestly didn't know she was that sick. She'd been in and out for a year at that point, so I thought she'd be back home soon enough. It never occurred to me that she could die... not really. I hadn't even thought about it. My dad said that he maybe he should have let us do more for her, so we would have known what was coming but it really doesn't matter now. That's been 23 years ago. (She died on her birthday, January 20th) She was 45 and, like I said, I'm 40 now and there's so many things I wish I could have asked her. Mainly I just want to know if she would have been proud of me. She wasn't proud of me when she was alive. Sure, people can say she was and maybe so, for small things. But it really seemed like nothing I did was ever good enough. (Without making this post even longer, I was semi-goth/grunge in a tiny southern, VERY Christian, town and EVERYONE knew my mom. When she died, her funeral had the most people there I've ever seen outside of famous important people on TV. People still stop me to talk about her when I go home.) But I know that I embarrassed her to a degree. She was the popular, pretty blonde that was outgoing and funny in school and I wasn't any of that. I didn't really want to be. Ultimately, I just would have liked to know if she and I would have ended up as friends... like, how close would we have ended up. Anyway, I don't know your relationship with your mom and if she's a good person, etc but I encourage you to always try to make up with your loved ones, no matter what they say, if at all possible. Of course, don't keep toxic people in your life, no matter who they are. My step-daughter's mother is quite toxic and I've encouraged the step-daughter to set up boundaries with her mother for her own mental healths sake. A lot of times words that are hurtful are said because the person saying them is hurt. It doesn't make it right but it happens. You just never know when that person is going to be completely gone and you'll never get that chance to make up with them... which is probably why the father was so shocked when her mother said that. Of course she still loved her daughter. That rarely changes.
@@yolandawilson9852 the fact the my girlfriend has gone through abuse just like this. It’s genuinely saddening, and I only wish for the best for you and your daughter, I’m just glad i get to be there for my girlfriend
I remember finally opening up to my mom about my depression & after a long conversation that ultimately turned into me trying help her understand it wasn’t about her. She resented me for a multitude of reasons for this. And spitefully said “you make me want to kill myself” something I will never forget
I am so sorry.. Something similar happened to me one time but not the same so when my mom picked me up from my theater rehearsals she was on the phone with my Tio Eddie and while I was on my phone the only thing I had heard was “I don’t know what to do.. Should I kill myself?” I hadn’t ever felt so bad about anything in my entire life.. And Another thing is when she found out about my preferred name she walked in a calmly said “Oliver that’s your name now?” I responded with “Uhm it’s my preferred name..” she scoffed and walked off but came back “How come you don’t tell people about it?” “I told some people” “But you didn’t Tell me?” “…” “Well I’m still gonna call you *Deadname*” And made a big deal saying I don’t tell her anything.. I love my mother but that just infuriated me..
I don't think she truly understood the level of depression you were going through, but she internalized it as you were rejecting her, which you did not.
What a horrible some parents are.. They think they give food and shelter so we have no problem and they got every problem in the world bcz we (there kid) are in existence. They only think there mental health matters and we enjoy hurting them.. Actually these kind of parents need thropy
i’m 33 every time i told my mom i loved her since i was a child she would say ohh that’s nice 😢she has never told me she loves me … if u are reading this & have a mother who shows her love for u cherish it forever
Me too! Mine says "okay. Bye." Like bish keep going. She's racist so I'll make sure to get like, a South Sudanese person to help her when she's a little older. What? 😎
My mom said “I don’t love you anymore you’re a disgrace” when I was 18. I’ve never looked back and I couldn’t be happier. Peace and love to those going through tough situations ❤️
God loves you … but when you boss up they’ll want you back He said that we all have to go through that certain people they have gone through that I’m not close to my mother either she’s always been manipulative and evil woman but I am a super mom and so good to my kids it’s all right God has you in his hands
Yes, they're our family but when we need to cut ties with them for us to grow, we have to. We should not normalize toxic behaviors or actions. I hooe ur doing fine. I love you:)
My mom once said “what was the point of giving birth to you” after I told her I was tired and didn’t have the energy to comfort her. The thing is that I had actually spent the past few hours trying to break up a fight between my parents, so of course I was tired.
Very true. I have not once in my life heard my father admit he is wrong. In every argument we have he has to win and he will push me to the edge and hit me and yell at me until I’m practically on my knees begging for him to stop . He has to have the last word and I still live with it to this day. But I’m not scared or sorry for myself. My main focus is helping my oldest brother because my dad had treated him and my mother so badly before the got divorced and my second oldest brother was born. My oldest brother is currently in the hospital due to suicidal acts. My dad got remarried around 5 years ago and I’ve had to deal with sexual assault from my step brother ever since and been called a drama queen when I told my step mom. I finally told my therapist about the situation and so I stay with my mom full time and only see my dad for dinner and small periods of time over the weekends and am currently being treated like it’s my fault that all this had to happen. My parents divorced only a couple months after I was born so I’ve been told all my life that I’m the reason for it and that I cause all the problems in the family. Both my brothers(I am the youngest) still hate me and have hated me my whole life and mentally ruined me when I continued to love them and take care of their mental health.
@@karensmith8223 i hope you can find closure and love within other people and can forever get away from such terrible people... i have, and it makes family abuse feel like a rock you just kick out of the way of *your* life, in which, you most seriously *matter* and eventually you'll matter to wonderful people because you did nothing wrong and remained a good person. But im sorry this went on to happen to you..
@@bozmundarts2614 I really appreciate kind words like that. I hope the same outcome for you and everyone you know and love. Best wishes and hopes that your pillow will be cold tonight ☺️
In my family hugs mean a lot. It’s a way to tell your loved ones “I love you even when we disagree”. If someone is angry, sad, afraid, etc we hug. But when I was 5 years old, my mother got mad at me. So I put on my best smile with my arms spread out and said “I am so sorry. I just want you to know I REALLY love you!” My mother ignored me and walked away as if I was invisible. After what must have been 30 minutes of me thinking my mother never loved me , she came to me. Before I could say anything she said “That made you feel bad right. That’s how you make me feel every day.” And walked away again. The worst part is that I have never got a answer to what I did wrong. That is why I don’t love you anymore mother. That’s one of the many reasons why I am disgusted by you.
That’s awful, I’m sorry. One of my earliest memories is my mom saying that no matter what she would never refuse a hug from us. Even if I made her mad she’d still hug me but the hug doesn’t get me out of trouble. My mom wasn’t perfect but she did a couple things right.
That’s fucking awful- this made me tear up. Parents like this then wonder why their kids don’t talk to them anymore. I hope you have others who love you for you unconditionally.
My mom’s go to was always “you’re never going anywhere in life” and it’s just so disheartening, especially when you make even the tiniest of mistakes. One of the big reasons I grew up to be so hard on myself for everything.
I wish she would have taught you what I teach my sons. I say "sometimes you succeed and sometimes you learn." Mistakes are the only way to learn. You deserve love and kindness 💖
I crumbled over that. Not only they say that but make everything to sabotage you and make the prophecy come true. 20+ years listening to that and it will happen. I spent all my life wishing to be dead so all her misery would go away. At 32 i finally attempted against my life. I was locked in a mental ward and treated worse than a criminal. 2 years have passed, I'm literally just existing because I'm too scared of failing AGAIN to end my own life and end up alive in a place like that. Parents who choose to have children just to tyrannically abuse them should have a painful life and death. They are old and freaking healthy, I'm rotting with phsyical and mental illness.
Every child deserves parents, but not every parent deserves children. I believe this so firmly I even feel this way about pets. Unless you’re ready to be a fantastic dog owner, don’t buy a dog. Unless you’re ready to be a fantastic parent don’t have kids.
Sometimes Asian mothers think that their children are just sponges for their abuse. For every slight they feel the outside world gives them, they beat it into their kids skin. The preferential love they have for their boys is staggering. I feel like your video minimizes the hurt that I felt my entire life from my mothers casual cruelty. “We just laughed it off”. Yea, I laughed off my mother beating me, taking away my things, yelling at me in front of extended family and my classmates. It’s been great.
it's almost like the video isn't about you and your direct experience. the fuck? and that's a huge generalization of asian moms, not everyone is like your mom.
"I'm giving up on you" was something my grandma told me when I was younger. It's been a long go of trying to better myself and get better, but those words still haunt me whenever I struggle.
I think parents often forget that their words have weight. Sometimes in anger they say things that they don’t think we’ll remember. But there are some words that just hurt. Some that we never quite forget.
Usually my mom shows me this side of hers when she’s mad at my brother. I guess letting it out on her daughter is easier, since her son is her biggest love. Sad
Call her out on it next time. "You're not even mad at me, you're just mad at my brother. Stop taking it out on me." Sometimes verbalizing that you know their true intentions helps them stop and think about their actions.
@@someoneyoumayormaynotknow3924 im sorry you have to go through that. Once you're independent leave your horrible mother and find people who will love you for who you are ❤❤❤❤
the worst i’ve heard that’s even remotely similar to this is when my mother would demand that i “stop faking my depression for attention.” it was months after i’d gotten officially diagnosed. she would pull that card a lot every time i tried to open up to her about how i felt. i know for a fact if i ever bring it up she’ll deny it ever happened. because apparently she can do no wrong.
My father told me the same thing about my anxiety, even after he had a session with my psychiatrist, since I was a minor when I was diagnosed, and at some point, he said something similar about my concussion… I know the pain
That is probably one of the most hurtful things someone can say when you're suffering. I can't even imagine how it must have felt to continuously hear that.
My mom is the same, I have crippling depression due to childhood abuse. I was very high functional until recently when i couldn’t contain my panic attacks and anxiety. She had the audacity to say- I don’t know why you are like that. When literally her denying me being molested by my own dad caused all this pain
“Our trauma isn’t our fault , but our healing is our responsibility” Life is so short we just got to process it , understand how it effects us and move on
it's honestly so damaging to hear those words as a child even though years later things get calmer but you sometimes remember all the shit they did and said to you and they never say sorry to you. Older siblings really gets to see the bad and the ugly of growing up
That’s so traumatic and it’s reasonable that it would not be “forgotten” after just a year. It’s hard not to internalize how we are treated by our parent figures, but please know that his refusal to be in the father role has everything to do with his own issues and nothing to do with you. 💓 please also look into attachment styles, other cPTSD resources… if you are hurting it will not get better, only transform, until you learn to process it in healthy ways. Please take care of yourself
I'm technically a mom of two already, but I'll be your dad. Fuck shitty parents refusing to do the bare minimum for the children they brought into the world.
"You're the reason we always fight" If my dad heard that, it would cause even a bigger fight that could very well end up with a divorce. It was the time i wished i wasn't born for the first time. I know she said that at the heat of the moment, but i still cant get over it after 8 years. Hurts deep inside, reminding me to keep my mouth shut.
"the heat of the moment", nah, she's an adult, she needs to be responsible with her mouth. Acting like what you do & say doesn't effect others is some kid shit. If bringing it up with her makes her all defensive putting it on you that you're "making her feel terrible", ask what she thinks you've been feeling all this time, and if she feels that way about it, then it's right that she feels that way, she needs to take her medicine, do some penance, and take accountability. Tired of adults still putting themselves on the rack to defend their shit parents from themselves.
@@InnuendoXP sigh i know i know. Mother and father they both have anger issues and they REALLY need both an individual and a couple therapy, but they are the kind of people that will say "why go to therapy? You think we are insane?" if i bring that up. Sadly, there's nothing i can do to stop my mother from taking her anger out on me. She is aware of this too, she confessed that she does indeed take her anger out on me and that she was sorry and whatever. But she never tries to do better. Thats why i simply slowly distant myself from them.
It wasn’t me who experiences but instead my sister did. Whenever my father would do or say something rude to my sister she would tell my mother, most of the time it would lead to a argument. One day I guess that my father grown tired of my sister “Snitching” on him to my mother. So when my father took my sister to go somewhere or something like that Idk how it started with him screaming my sister that she was the reason that him and my mom got into arguments and that it would one day lead to a divorce and the last sentence that came out of his mouth was,” Do you want us to get a divorce, Is that what you want?!”
@@camilo8235 I never snitched. I got a bad grade, and my mother yelled at me to the point of making me cry. Normally my father doesn't see those, but that time, he did. They started arguing, i fleed to my room. When they were done, and mother was going to her own room, she stopped by my room and said that. I couldnt forget.
Never believe you are the reason, even if you weren't there , they would have still fought, its just an excuse by them to hide thier wrong doings. But parents will be parents still.
Hearing stuff like this makes me feel infinitely in debt to my parents for always letting me make my choices and never even so much as threaten to throw me out for one of my mistakes/choices
@@kentiastrickland2556 This! Lol I hate parents who think they're entitled to anything from their kids. Like you can have expectations and be disappointed but you made the conscious decision to have kids, not them
kids owe NOTHING to their parents. if you treat your kid like a decent human being with autonomy and you expect something in return you’re just setting the child up to be used their whole life
Me and my dad we normally get in at-least one big fight every couple of months because Im super emotional and he isn’t very understanding and whenever we do he always tells me how i always ruin everyones day which still makes me cry whenever i remember it and then im always the one who ends up apologizing first…
😔 I remember when my mom screamed and cried, telling me "I don't even know you anymore" just because I stopped reading books.... To this day... almost 12 years later I'm still like WTF... Sometimes our parents really f*q up and they should actually apologize while it still matters.
Some of them were not treated well themselves. For e.g. my parent being overly-dependant on us children that they both dictate that their happiness is *our responsibility* as their kids. I sh%t you not, they had conditioned us kids from the very early age and it's hard to escape that trap even well in my thirties. Turned out, upon observation, my parents each had unresolved traumas respectively. One with abandonment trauma, another with smothered childhood. Both were emotionally ignored and grew up believing in idealistic roles, as mother, as father, & as children. And that's how they survived, not able to support us kids mentally or emotionally because they never knew how to do so.
"If I had the chance to do it all over again, i wouldn't have had you." I think about that moment every day. She tried over and over for children, I was always her miracle baby, hurts to know she regretted me anyway.
My mom threw me into a wall, pulled a chunk of my hair out and then as I was curled up on my bed in the corner of her room (because her brother-in-law had just gotten out of jail and apparently deserved my room more than I did) she sat down on the edge of the bed and said "I'm not going to apologize to you. You deserved it."
That’s straight up abuse, I’m so sorry that happened to you, she shouldn’t be treating her children that way no matter what the circumstances are and I hope your in a safer place right now.
Ok I've been slapped and belated a little (like hair being pulled beated up with a stick rolling pin empty glass ketchup bottle etc.) by my mom many. But I really think you should call CPS
So many people have children. Unfortunately, very few of them are parents. My mother told me that she had stopped loving me long ago. She made it official. I told her that that explained everything. I always knew it, and felt it. She had never hidden it anyway. It was both heartbreaking and liberating to hear it AT LAST from her. Since I had spent my whole life trying to make her accept/validate/protect/like/love me. Impossible. Both my hopes and struggles are over. I'm hurt but free 🌟
The same happened to me, almost an year ago, she texted me about it, finally accepting that she doesn't love me anymore and that she doesn't consider me as her daughter anymore, of course it hurt but it also made me happy that i don't have to live in this delusional truth of gaslighting myself into thinking she cares and stuff, I'm happy you got ur answer!
I love how open you are about the complexities of the relationships we have with our families - and aren’t afraid to portray both yourself and your family as flawed. After all, those flaws can be what make us closer as families as we acknowledge our mistakes retrospectively. I love tofu Katsu, but I’ve never tried it sandwiched with vegan cheese before - looks delicious!
“I want another daughter, just not (insert my name.)” Was something my former stepdad said, what had I done? Nothing. I was merely sitting, quietly playing with my blocks while my mother worked a full time job 24/7 while I was six years old (4-8 years old living with him.) Worst thing? I lived with it for four years. What happened? Physical and mental abuse, yelling beyond imagination, and a heart and mind full of hurt that I will have to live for the rest of my life, and guess what? None of it was my fault, nor my mom’s, yet, it still affects me in my everyday life.
@@DX-dthat’s quite dismissive about ops experience. Sure he was their stepdad, but stepparents are still supposed to be parents, and to have this said to you by someone who is supposed to be your parent is just horrible.
"You can't talk to her like that, take it back."
Chills bro, actual chills.
First reply SLAY
I respect her father telling her to take her words back.
I need a angel shot, her Mother is being aggressive
@@sora43 ah so i see, one cultured individual to other
Chi- CRONCH
Dad may not explain his love through talk but dad always expressed his feelings through action.
Or you have the dad that talks a lot, but actions show no love. 😪
Every dad has a way to express the way he feels to the people he love. I totally agree. I made my daughter an elevated bed with cabinets all around it for dresser drawers and a crawl space underneath. As she's gotten older, I've offered her my man cave because her room is now a bit too small for her. She refuses to leave that room because the bed is built into the frame of the house. Its holding up a water bed so it needed the support.
@@DS-wh6is 🪦
Thanks Dad❤️❤️❤️
Im sorry but out of context this sound so wrong xD
Whenever my mom and I fight, she would always resort to the, "This is why no one likes you". It shouldve went from one ear to another but its damaging when you hear it coming from your mom over and over again
L 💕 you are loved!!
🙏🏾🕊️ I pray you know that now....
Next time, shout back "this is why I don't love you" and see how she feels. Parents think they can say anything to us because they give birth to us
My mother and my sister have both on numerous occasions told me this and a lot of other verbal abuses. And have not so much as uttered a half hearted apology for doing so even once yet. I feel you. ❤️
I’m wishing you well internet stranger. And I hope you find the strength to heal. Much love ❤️
I get it, I hope you will forget about it. Whenever someone says something rude to you over and over you will start not to care anymore (fact) ❤️
We are all fighting to STOP generational trauma!
I agree with this so much but what makes me sad is in my area generational trauma doesn't really happen but all the older millennials in our area keep saying that we are not real humans because we didn't go through generational traume
Yes. And it is a struggle indeed🙏🙏🙏
Its hard and tiring! Truly
@@Socially_strangei have an old lady at my work denying me and my friends trauma as well! like they have no clue what i’ve been through
Right 😭
"You cant talk to her like that, take it back"
*CKRONCH*
107 likes no comments now 1
💀
sorry but this is so funny
funny 😂
I was about to cry and then I read this comment 😂😂
“I wish you’d just die” was something my mom told me a few years back and I still hear it every day in my head especially when I’m feeling worthless or unloved I just hear it on repeat
I'm so sorry. I hope things get better soon. Please know Jesus loves you. ❤️ 💒
Same
You're worthy of respect always 💚
I love you broski. Even when you feel unloved or worthless know theres a random stranger from Florida thinking about you.
My mom told me to kill myself last year, lol
"You can't talk to her like that! Take it back!!"
This is what a great father would do for their child, even if he's not the best with words. He still loves you so much, but If you don't have a good father or mother, I don't have a good mother but we can make it out together!!
Actions speak louder than words
The father's reaction says more about his love than a verbal I love you
“You can’t talk to her like that, take it back.”
Wow, that’s beautiful for a dad to say that.
That's normal for a father to say.
@@rosenbaumquartzIt isn't though. It's ideal, but realistically...it doesn't just happen like that.
@melisandelalavandere8812 I'm sorry to hear that you had a shitty dad Melisa de la Who-gives-a-fuc
But he was not supportive. Just complaining that the mom was not. Dysfunctional father, too.
the mom was being the opposite of supportive and the dad was right to say what he did. @@egm8602
"I don't love you anymore"
"good luck at the cheapest oldfolkes home i can find"
fuck that you say that shit to me find someone else to take care of you. I can help you find someone but I’m not gonna support you if you drop that shit on me. The joke was funny too lol
Old folks home? Nah you're rotting in your house alone
LMFAO
@@coffinmyface4237 and ruin the resell value of the house?!
@@Jan-mu6vs in America at least you end up in an income based home and those places are utter shit, therefore you don't have to make an effort for a woman who doesn't love you
Love how the mom looks at something "bad" that the brother is doing and instantly attacks the daughter.
My mom did same
I have 5 sibling , in less than 7 years she have 4 kids
I and my sister was her puch bag
If she stress she will said mean thing to me not her 3 fav child
Its scar my heart unti now
For real i love cats and dog more than i love my mom
I feed stray animal than give my mom money
And everybody critic me because of that
They never know what she did to me since i was litle
Many time i try suicide because of her
I try to fight it because in my religion if i suicide i will never go to heaven
I will end up be ghost enslave by other ghost
Yet another example of sons being favored by mothers and forgiven. Even when her anger was more directed at him, she decide to take it out on the daughter 🙄
@@udontevenwannaknowbruvShe's probably projecting
@@gethina-come7885far worse
In Asia it’s called influence. Whoever did it first get blamed for everyone else’s actions
“you’re a waste of space” something my mother told me about 2 years ago when i was 10. it repeats in my head everyday and it hurts everytime
I'm sorry you have to hear that... from experience, I know there's not much I can say to make it better, but know that your existence is important. I hope that one day, it doesnt hurt like it does today. Maybe consider talking to a teacher you trust just about how you feel. If you're school has a counselor, maybe you can talk to them too! It's hard to reach out for help, but that's because it's the hardest step.
I know the feeling. My mom told me “Your a waste of time and money, stop being so immature” when I was around 8. When parental figures say things like this, they are either just in the heat of the moment things or they actually mean it.
Either way, what they say shouldn’t cause you to feel negatively about yourself but if it does, then their toxicity should be outcast from you. No person should ever be told that they aren’t loved, are waste of (insert something here) or anything like that. I hope that you’re doing well ❤
You mean so much to the world and you matter. Forgive your Mother, she's learning too💛
I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you..
💘💘💘
My mother told me Infront of my two teenage children, "I hate you, I hate you, GOD I hate you!" all because I told her that her oldest son was not allowed in my house, around me or my children. I refuse to let my abuser around me or mine. she refused to believe he was abusive. Now he is a level 1 sex offender. The truth always finds its way out.
I'm so sorry your mother didn't give you the support you needed and deserved. And to verbally abuse you in front of your children... What a terrible woman. I'm glad you protected yourself, and your children. You deserve peace, love, and support
You protected your kids. Thank you. We need more parents like you, who break the cycle of abuse.
Wow, thats deep! Speechless😢😮
why is no one seeing in her mother's shoe? Every mother want their kids to be the best. You can take your kids far away from him, but it is too cruel to say that to your own mother that I do not want to see tour shameful son who is also your siblings, her grandchildren near her son. The only prayer I can pray for you is to not feel the same pain your mother feel. If everyone says all the wrong things about you, it is your mother that will stand and said Ni even with crystal evidence. YOU ARE ALSO A MOTHER. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT.
You protected your kids. Good job, mom. You did better than was done for you. This is called breaking the cycle. Well done!
The fact that a parent told their child that they didn’t love them anymore and that they had to leave the house immediately was brushed off as though it was a joke is so heartbreaking
Im glad that her father was there to intervene because there are so many other people who don’t have that figure who will stand up for them
This happened in my home many times when I was a teenager. I was initially shocked by your comment but I realise now that this is not a common nor acceptable thing to occur to children. My mother and I have a great relationship now.
True, a similar situation happened to a friend, sadly in this case, her father didn'nt intervene when her mother kicked her out of their house :(
Life in developing countries do be very different tho, "I don't love u anymore" wasn't even the worst thing my dad had said to me, so meh 🤷♂️🤷♂️
Bro she got angry what do you mean she has emotion her mom is not perfect
@@-shiningsamurai oh ok so if your angry it's ok to kick your child out of your house. No one is perfect, but that is a horrible thing to do.
“We laughed about the whole thing”
I missed the joke
On god, sounds like they never really healed from the incident, just bc you laugh about it doesn't make everything ok :/
This is what some families do to avoid talking about the fact that they need therapy 😪 but take it from me, if you sweep things under the rug for too long, you’re going to have a lumpy rug and have a breakdown eventually
@@ElectricPansies we'd be hard pressed to try convincing them of that tho, they tell you you're "just trying to cause problems" they'll lie to themselves to avoid feeling any type of pain, pain is unavoidable and necessary but ppl treat it like a death sentence.
joking about things that aren’t funny in the slightest can be a common trauma response majority of dysfunctional family systems
it sounds v asian housholdy to me
“You can’t talk to her about that, take it back” father: I’m a changed man
He never changed always was like that just because you don't get your booboo kissed dosent mean he ain't love you
Just because they don't say it doesn't mean they don't care
@@A-Nickel exactly, he is all about act not talk
@@eylec agreed
@@A-Nickel well her mother did. she said that.
“Once said, words can be forgiven, but never forgotten.”
It always amazes me how some parents won’t even stick up for their child in an argument where the other parents in the wrong. Your dad is wonderful for sticking up for you, and I’m glad he did what he did :)
It’s about displaying unity which is important, but this was not something to unite on. Hopefully the instances you’re referring to aren’t nearly as horrifying as telling one’s child you don’t love them anymore.
@@dustbitten did you not understand their comment?
@@septbaaby
I sure did! Did you understand mine?
@@dustbitten the way you replied implies that you are confused.
@@septbaaby
Not at all. I think you might be.
I can never tell if this woman's stories are inspirational, heart warming, or just terrible. I can also never tell is she's healed or not from what seems to be a great deal of family trauma
These stories aren't all hers. - sometimes she reads ones from online, or that are sent to her I think.
@@lawyerreactsnotthemoon85 I’ve only ever heard her talk about her own family. Either way, this story is definitely her own.
You can never heal from family trauma especially when your own mother hurts you the most .
Ikr, for me, I think it's her adding a vid in the bg of her making/eating food while telling these stories. Instead of feeling sad or inspired I just feel hungry
Tryna mend this broken heart
It's okay not to be strong
My sorrows have a million layers
And I've been told I wear them well,
Your comment reminded me of this song and so did the video tbh. The song is “Are You Feeling Sad” by Little Dragon ft. Kali Uchis
I love when parents act all high and mighty like when they say "I brought you into this world and I can take you out" like you were the one who signed up for me, I never asked to be born you did.
That is both good and very disheartening to know I’m not the only one who has heard that exact phrase. I’m sorry. ❤️
This is a roast!!!
And its cool
@@scoobed792 wait how?
Shit, I heard this my whole life from my mom. She always was "joking" but, along with other things done or said, you start to believe maybe you'd be better off "out of the world", that maybe you were never truly wanted. This phrase really destroyed me.
“We laughed about the whole thing”😳
Trauma is interesting
right i woulda never forgotten that for as long as i lived
Thats what people with trauma do which sadly usually also leads to them "forgiving" the abusers which they never should really
ikr, but when youre in it, youre in it. its not til later with therapy and growing that you realize.
man was the video edited or something 😭😭 cause the video doesnt say that and neither does the caption
" You were a miracle I didn't want."
I've never been able to look at my mother the same way ever again.
I know im late, but holy shit im sorry. You don't deserve that. Hoping that thought has escaped you a little bit (if this comment hasn't already reminded you).
Not sure if I'm stupid but wouldn't that be a good thing? It's normal for mothers to regret getting pregnant, because of all the stress of the situation and all, or whatever her circumstances were, wouldn't that mean she loves you?
@@sueno2779maybe FEELING that way is ok, but TELLING your kid that kind of crap is unacceptable
You should say well shouldn’t have been a whore ducking around without a condom then you wouldn’t have any issues now would you?
My mom told me this story from a young age and was always so proud of it. She did drugs with my Dad, that's how they got together. She stopped when she got pregnant with me because she was guilty my Dad forced her to get abortions for SIX pregnancies before me. She fought with him one day when she was almost due and decided to go out and use to because she decided she didn't want me after all. She went to a bar and met a usual suspect. He agreed to get something for her and made a call. Before the drugs arrived he, apparently, had a change of heart and more or less got a bunch of the guys at the bar to force her out. She kind of came to her senses a little while later, I guess, and I was born not too much time after that. She'd smile and say "things happen for a reason, so glad I had you after all." I haven't spoken to her in a few years now for cumulative reasons but I'll never forget how she smiles recalling those events.
There’s never a good reason to tell a child “I don’t love you anymore.” Never.
There is tho, but but over a piercing
@Moe Lester oof, I hope you're ok. Good luck, dude.
my mom does..
Welllll, there are some scenarios
@Moe Lester that’s horrible, hope ur ok :(
My mother would always tell me that she wish she died whenever we would make her mad, it always freaked me out making sure I’d consistently check on her, and she has the audacity to ask why.
My mom is the same, like anytime I disagree or do something she doesn't like she's like...oh itd be better for you if I die instead right, will you have your mental peace then
literally and then she calls me crazy meanwhile she's saying borderline suicidal shit??? man moms are master manipulators
@@afrinrahman5519just say yes and start laughing like a maniac, works every time
@@afrinrahman5519 at some point id wanna just say "yeah kinda??" cause like.. yeah. shes causing you mental turmoil for saying stuff like that 💀💀
@@pizza646what the.... Sorry for what you had to go through in that moment
As a Asian American woman who has never had anyone, including my dad, defend me so fiercely from my mom, this makes me want to cry so hard. We all deserve parents and family who will defend us like that.
I'm "caucasian" and my family had a hard time expressing their emotions too.... we would usually just scream at each other or hold it inside and be passive aggressive
My mother wasn’t always the best mom. And my dad wasn’t perfect either. Looking back, I know they were just trying their best, but sometimes, they failed. We all make mistakes and I’ve long forgiven my mom for this incident. But… me forgiving her doesn’t at all diminish how much a hero my father became to me in that moment.
my mother told me that she regret having me.
Edit: Thanks for the supportive comments but, I Just want to clarify that I said this not because I want Pity or sympathy, I said this because I want to let you know that sometimes there's nothing wrong with being Heartless and Cruel to people. Because I learned that in the hard way.
@@mathewcarlsardon4342 I never regretted meeting you in this comment, remember that I haven't actually met you yet........ But I was still happy that I met you here right now. If your mom told you that she regretted having you, remember that I didn't regret meeting you :)
Edit: Thank you for all the likes you guys gave me ;)
Also I have a another question why do you get a eyebrow piercing and where is it now
@@saraira in this video, she said that the ring fell out, so I’m guessing the piercing just healed up and she didn’t get it pierced again.
The story is both sad and beautiful to me, I can't imagine hearing that from my Mom but your dad's response was beautiful..glad you have forgiven her.
Me and my dad have a complicated relationship due to his anger issues, but he always come to my rescue when my mom is being unreasonable. It makes me forget everything that’s happened. He’s the best, but not always the best. Same with my mom.
My dad and I used to be just like that.
Same…
I relate to this so much.
Sounds toxic and mentally abusive.
@@milkandspice1074 I’m ngl, it’s a horrible thing that happens with abuse sometimes. My sisters verbally abusive but when she hasn’t been abusive for a few days I forget what she’s done. I feel like I’m the one who’s torturing myself 😂
I remember when my mother told us she'll leave us, I cried so hard that night then I heard my father saying "I'm here." That phrase made me cry even more because I didn't grew up with him so most of the time I ignored him or don't talk to him because I feel awkward. When I heard that phrase, it broke me because he is not as expressive as my mother and he is always at the back listening to whatever shit we say to each other. So I promised to myself that if I finish my degree, and found a job, I will make sure to spoil him with anything he wants
NOT IF HONEY...WHEN YOU FINISH...AND YOU WILL BECAUSE IT IS WRITTEN IN THE STARS!
oh god this made me cry.
I'm a little confused by your story sorry but your mother wasn't with your father and she was with the guys most of the time and I'm guessing she was fed up or something and said to you she want to leave you guys and your father was there to console you?
My mom said the same thing once I feel you
Omg my mother does the same…
When we make a mistake or forget to do something she will say “God, what did I do to deserve these brats” or “someday i’ll leave the forkin house.” She’s especially both verbally and physically abusive. I missed a question on my homework and i’m guessing we all know what happened next. There was this time (i was like 6 or something) where I was getting bullied. My mom then said something like “you probably deserved it.” I got depression at age 7 because of this. To this day i’m still on the edge of life. It’s sarcastically amazing how often moms do this.
"You will die by my hands one day" Is what my father told me in one argument we were having. My mother was sitting there and she said nothing.
That's a threat, no matter how angry someone is, they should never threaten your life. It's horrible. I'm so sorry.
this reminded me of something that just happened a few hours ago. im so sorry, thats so fucking horrible. i love you, stay safe ml.
Isn't illegal to threaten someone
@@diptib4746 No, but it sure hurts a lot
@@nihirabhagat6013 It's very illegal especially if they're threatening your life
Thats so sweet of him, probably a guy who struggles with showing affection and expressing feelings, much like myself. Good thing he stood up for you
Much like the vast majority of men. And why would we show emotions, nobody really cares about our emotions
@@NeirinN how out of touch are you dude?
@@mortzon5681 I’m sick and tired of all of it man. When a girl gets sad right people say “aww hope u get through it” or “stay strong” but when we say were sad society tells us “you’re a male bro, man up” its so unfair man
@@blaze.309 so true mate. And when we finally open to a GF, she will us that as ammunition next time you have a fight. She's my ex today btw. But my current GF is a sweetheart, submissive and value family. I have opened up to her about many things and she has been supportive all the way through. But she is very rare one
@@NeirinN did i ever say all men? I dont think i did.
Once those words come out “i dont love you no more” its never the same after that. If something small like a piercing is enough to make my parents say that then i guess they never cared for me lol
Thats one of the boundaries that once overstepped, cant be backed up off of. The last time i EVER told my mother something like that, i was 14 unchecked mentally ill and had just been sexually harassed, but thats no excuse. Thats one of those things that you just dont fucking say unless you really want to burn that bridge once you get to it.
Not to offense to asian culture but they like that also Mexican parents
And what’s your offense on overgeneralizing a person because of one mistake they made over the countless sacrifices they’ve made?
They’re still your parents, whether you like them or not, And your parents still have you, their child; their pride and joy. If they never cared for you, then you wouldn’t have the privilege of being here right now.
@@yt_astrral I can both agree and disagree with this. There’s a saying where kids should be more appreciative of their parents but why aren’t there more, parents should be appreciative of their kids? I can understand there are those kids who just treat their parents like crap when they’re just trying their hardest but there are also those parents who are just down right horrendous and I feel like your statement just doesn’t specify those types of parents at all.
@@yt_astrral I do agree with the "overgeneralizing" part, people are complicated and one action does not define who they are. But those "countless sacrifices" still DOES NOT make any harmful actions okay, at all. It does not take away the pain, it does not make any anger towards their parent invalid. You can recognize someone has done so much for you and STILL be angry and hurt by something they did wrong to you.
I am a 37 year old mother of the most amazing 16 year old. All the comments below of the horrible things mothers said to their kids seriously made me cry...I wish I could take you all in.
Please remember: You are amazing, and its your moms loss...NOT yours. I am so proud of you
Thank you ❤️
Thank you sweet lady🤗💕
How you have a child at 21💀💀
@@spiderkid4thegamer400 Aww baby, its not the stork. Maybe your own mommy can explain that to you, ok sweetie?
Thank you.
My aunts always told my brother that he “was just like your dad” and then would say horrible things about him. And people still act confused when he moved across the country on his 18th birthday and never comes back now. I miss him but he deserves better
😅😅my mum
I'm shocked that someone experienced the exact same thing as me. Line by line.
I really relate to your brother lot🥲
I pray you were able to keep in contact.😢
My grandma's biggest insult when I was a kid was to call someone by her son's name. As a child, I just didn't want to be called by his name. As an adult, I think about how that must feel for him.
This feels like a horrifying experience that doesn’t pair well with…well, any meal
As someone who eats their feelings I beg to differ.
@@stargourd3936LMAO IM SORRY BUT THIS IS HILARIOUS
😹😹
@@stargourd3936 BESTIE- 💀💀
Think so too. The making of the food was so distracting
And that's another reason why we absolutely adore and admire your dad.
Btw, I mean no disrespect towards your mother or your family.
well her dad has done way meaner things ryt
@@nj7728 he didn’t say that bull crap
@@emma.m_ what bull crap?
@@kats.5958 The video, saying I don't love you anymore.
He sucks too just in different ways
Man this hurt. My parents always praised my older brothers compared to me, I think it’s because I was born with cerebral palsy and they hold resentment because they both had to help raise someone disabled growing up. It seemed like nothing I did was good enough and even won district with my disability. It’s weird now because all of my family is struggling financially except me
That’s how it goes.😊
proud of you fr 🙏🏽
Good for you!! 🙌🏼
Don't lend your relatives money bro
🤍🤍🤍
"Mommy, are you disappointed in me?"
"Who wouldn't be?"
-not the deepest wound she inflicted, but the one that's been hardest to recover from.
@@not-a-ghost2206ur bf is a keeper
Mine beat me and humilliated me bc I wanted to think by myself and she always envied me.
All mothers are hos
Sucks I know. It was only after other people would come up to me and tell me how great I was & you could see my in mother that she was incredibly surprised, even stammered a bit before pretending she'd been supportive. It was like I only had value once other people gave it to me. "You must be so proud" Oh. Oh yeah, about that. Yeah ye--yep, so proud." I've seen better acting in p*rn. It affects you in ways none of us can even fully explain. My self esteem is non existent to this day. I'm sorry you had to endure & I'm proud of you. ❤
Oh my god, that’s terrible. No child should have to hear that.
Jokes on you, I hear that frequently... TKV must have heard it only once when she was 19, I hear it almost every week, this has been going since I was 10, now I am 13..
Edit- Thank you all for being kind and stuff! I am doing well! I am sure my parents don't mean it, maybe because of frustration, they might have said it..
@@lol_30 hope youre doing well!!
@@lol_30 I feel sorry for you, but I don't think replying on TH-cam comments will solve your problem.
@@diamondkone Yea, I know... It won't help me with anything but at least I can get rid of some of the frustration bottled up inside of me
@@lol_30 sorry for being so harsh, and I'm glad you got it through somehow. Hope your problems are solved :)
“i hate you” something my mom said a few weeks ago and i can still hear it everyday when i walk into the house she just acts like she didnt say anything and acts like everything is all cool. i will never forget that day.
I'm so sorry,my story Is similar ,I was ten years old when my mom told me I hate you and get out of my house,I didn't really understand at the time but now five years later it hurts me,till this day she denies it saying I'm cruel for remembering her actions and what she put me through.
People say things they don't mean all the time, you're going to have to learn that. I hear kids telling their parents they hate them all the time when they're upset, they don't actually gate their parents, as I'm sure your mom doesn't really hate you. There's things that aren't ok to say but people make mistakes sometimes really terrible ones. It's what makes us human. I really hope your relationship with your mom is ok and that she was having a tough day and apologized
Tell her will take it outside, and instead of holding a grudge for the rest your life, fight it out until you get your point across
You should remind her every day if you’re gonna constantly think about it she should have to also
“i don’t love you anymore, please get out of my house”
*15 years later*
*”why isn’t my daughter visiting me in my hospital bed?”*
💀 literally
Imma visit my mom, just to pull the plug 🔌
@@SlightlyChazzed LMAOOO omg I’m so sorry
☠️☠️☠️
It really do be like that 💀
My dude over here making me cry while casually eating the crunchiest thing known to mankind
Fr 😂
My mom has been telling me that I’m just “going to end up in a ditch dead as a stripper” since I was 14. She’s a horrible person and needs help
She sounds like a narcissist.
That's does sound horrible, and I hope you do not believe what your mother has told you, because I'm sure your a good person who is great and will achieve great things, and their are some ways to get help, for you or her, their are numbers you can call and other actions, I hope things are alright, and please keep your head up no matter how hard things get
she said it wrong but she is trying to say something else to you but it just came out wrong
@@dhtooez2046 I don’t think so, but we can always hope that’s the situation.
Put her in the worst old folks homes you can find
This is why I don’t wanna have kids. I dont want to reignite those memories, and deep down I fear would be like my parents.
Negative examples can teach us just as much as positive ones. Having experienced whatever you experienced might make you _the best_ kind of parent, determined not to repeat your parents' mistakes. But you know you better than I do, so if you really think it's a bad idea, then don't have kids.
@@1MegaBubble it's not really that simple. I've been on that edge, and the singular determination not to act like my father stressed me out and I ended up acting identical to him
@@TheSaxAppeal unlearning trauma is probably the hardest part of trying to grow as a person
@@TheSaxAppeal well I have a dad that was a butt yet I didn't turn out like him. It's on the individual you take responsibility for yourself. That's basically saying you don't take responsibility for your actions cause you had daddy issues we all been there. So maybe you just need to do some self reflecting
Repeating the cycle is a choice and you can choose not to. My mom used her traumatic childhood to justify the trauma she gave me. I now have children and actively choose to not project or perpetuate my childhood onto them. I actually take my parents as a guide of what not to do. The key is being self aware and getting control of your own emotions before you discipline your kids, not after.
That’s honestly terrible, it’s not okay to say that to any child, minor or adult. You are one of the bravest and strongest women I know and I look up to you immensely. Thank you for living through that. And thank you for your content, thank you for brightening up my days and inspire me to also become a strong independent woman once I grow up!
I think sometimes we forget our parents are just big kids trying to figure stuff out for them selves, it's no excuse, none of our shitty behavior are excusable but we can still understand and forgive.
@@hizee5515 yes and I totally agree on that. Parents are also humans, just as the children are. And people do seem to forget, me included. But that’s still no excuse as you said.
@@valntina-parts it’s so painful to know you’re right bc when you’re traumatized for all the hits you took as kid and you know you’re parents were influenced by their upbringing, you, well at least I, go insane because it’s hard to not think about the fact that they still did what they.
There are circumstances when you stop loving someone, though. Obviously this was a ridiculous reason to say it, totally out of pocket. It was used to just hurt her, and she didn't mean it. It was unnecessarily cruel.
But as an example, I told my uncle I don't love him anymore. I told him this because he was sat in our living room after my mother likely saved his life by getting him a functional pulse oximeter after his covid diagnosis, after she managed to find movers who could get his condo packed and put in storage since he was supposed to move within 3 days of his diagnosis, after he lied by omission about whether he gotten vaxxed the first time he came over, after she went above and beyond for him while he was in hospital, after he told her he would not get vaccinated after all this.
I told him that since he didn't give a shit whether he lived or died, I didn't care if he did beyond how it would hurt my mother. And I don't. He voted in a man who actively tried to take rights and protections away from me. He talked to me like I'm a failure constantly mocking me for having to move back in with my parents. I don't love him and I'm not obligated to just because we're related.
@@devent10n Wow I’m sorry that happened, and that is definitely a justified reason to stop loving someone, regardless of who they are to you (family, friend, etc.).
It affected me more than I thought to hear what your father said. I love my dad and he’s one of the best people I’ve ever known, but whenever my mother’s been cruel to me he’s taken her side even when he acknowledged to me privately that she was wrong.
That said, once when my dad was out of town (my mom would get worse when he was away), she screamed at me at the top of her lungs for asking if she was okay, and my oldest siblings (twins) came rushing in, held me, and said firmly, “Don’t yell at him.” My siblings and I had never been really close growing up since they were six years older than me, but in that moment where my mom was at her most volatile and frightening they protected me. They’re very quiet, lowkey, conflict-averse people; I had never before nor have I since seen them that assertive and firm. I will never forget that they were there for me that day.
Your father loves you sooo much. It is so clear from your stories that you love each other dearly ❤️
Why did I think it said “the time obama said he didn’t love me”
Hahaha
💀
Same
Sameee I was so confused I had to re-read it like 10 times
I thought it said "yo mama"
My mom has always behaved like a teenager during fights. Whenever we fought she said stuff like she regretted having me, I should go look for other parents bc she didn't want me anymore. Sure she always said sorry afterwards but it stuck with me
Of course it did if you rip a paper in half and then tape It back together it doesn't change the fact it's been ripped in the first place I'm sorry you have to deal with this!!! Here's to hoping your mom goes to therapy to heal her inner child! Have a blessed day!!!
that’s super abusive behaviour. straight up verbal and emotional abuse
Same here. My mother is also hispanic. Ive never met another hispanic who’s family isnt as dysfunctional as mine. Only a select people get that luxury. Everyone else treats it as normal.
I got a personality disorder and will forever struggle to get through day to day life. I am unable to make deep, emotional connection with anyone because of my disorder. I hallucinate, and suffer from delusions. I get overwhelmed easily and shut down. I disassociate hard and never truly experienced any kind of love up until i met my fiancé. Its disabling.
Granted i am one of the worst case scenario’s (besides literally fucking dying). I am better now but no one should have to struggle as hard as I did.
My mother is a good person, she is also mentally ill and the product of a fucked cycle of generational, hispanic, mother-daughter abuse (emotional mostly but physically until i grew much bigger than her). As an adult, i can sympathize with her. But i can never forgive her for as long as i live.
💔😢
@@purpleninjabutterfly3922 You said "😬 ----> 😕------>😃
My mom called me a parasite when I was going through severe mental health issues and had panic attacks nearly every other week. I will pay her that courtesy back when she is at her lowest, because that is what I learned from her.
My mom said the same thing when I was studying to become a lawyer and she had to pay for it 😞
I'm sorry you had to go through that, but thats not the solution. Telling your mom the same thing would not make a difference between you and her. Instead you should be the bigger person, forgive her not for her but so that you can heal from your past and live a peaceful life. God bless you ❤❤
@@canacolaco658Forgiveness is earned. I do not need to forgive someone who won’t learn or change from their errors.
@@canacolaco658Why do they have to be the bigger person? They were a CHILD, the adult was supposed to be the bigger person and refused to do so, they owe their parents nothing.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT A GOOD FATHER YOU'VE GOT my dad would literally agree, worse, he would fuel it up by telling my mum and reminding her of my past mistakes
Wow. Random connection because I was just under a video watching people defend the terrible father that is Thomas Markle. It is these private ugly and painful line-crossing moments (many even worse than this) that I’m so aware of so many children in the world experiencing because of very flawed ( read: _bad_ ) parents that made me so understanding of and sympathetic to Meghan Markle. I’ve seen firsthand how adult kids in abusive relationships with parents will maintain for decades a deep urge to forgive transgression after transgression and love said bad parent through such harm because they just want mom, dad, or both to be the loving mom or dad they’ve desired since they were kids. Markle’s former friend even said it felt like Meghan had to raise and parent her dad when they were kids because of how mentally and emotionally immature and abusive he was. Then she still financially supported him for years. This generation is the most educated on toxic familial behaviors there’s ever been. Forgiveness is good but so is cutting out _unapologetically_ and _unchanging_ toxic people from your life even when it’s family. It’s such a shame that certain people hate her so irrationally that they’d ignore her dad’s blinding red flags and lose the ability to be objective, so actually defend such a brazenly abusive and bad father. But that’s just what occurred to as I was reading these comments of empathy and parental trauma story-sharing.
So many crybabies in these comments.
She literally said he never told her he loved her and never showed her love... that's not a good father
@@neonice I haven't seen one yet
@@jaydenking7408 do you know what a bad father is? If you did then you'd know which ones are good. Some are not very good at showing/sharing emotions with people around them. And some straight up don't give a shit. So she does have a good father that stood up to such harsh words.
Okay but do mothers know how much it hurts to be told “I don’t love you” by them specifically
They definitely know, and _those_ kinds of mothers say it specifically _because_ they know it will hurt the child
My mom hasn't told me "I don't love you". But she does say "Nobody will ever love you". And calls me a cunt, bitch, body shames me, etc. 😬
@@cheems408 prayers for you🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽😔
of course they do. my mother said it to me everyday of my life until i was 16, and even when i came back to stay with her and care or her as she was dying from cancer. reminding me how much i ruined her life, telling me how she wished i had never been born, that she had been forced to keep me. it wasn't the beatings that hurt me it was those words that hurt me an she knew it.
@@marytramp5678 honestly after that you should have just left her. If she hates you so much, she doesn't deserve that much care and attention. She's horrible
“I thought you were the one I didn’t have to worry about.” plays every few weeks in my head no matter how good my mom and I are.
This is so representative of how such comments, even if not meant to hurt us long term, can have such a detrimental effect on our confidence. I’m so sorry this happened to you and for your mother to lash on you like that. There is never an excuse for that and I’m happy to know that your father’s love is so powerful for you even if you can’t always see it❤️
We all still love your mother by the way😘
1.9k likes and no comments? Let me change that
"We laughed it off!"
She told you she didnt love you anymore over a piercing. That's not something I think I could laugh off...
Same I'll rather be homeless then live with some witch
How do people brush this off like fr
@@kelseymcintosh3343 pretty easy tbh (for me still sucks tho)
Maybe it’s because people act differently… mind blowing fact I know…
If my mama said something like that to me I wouldn’t be able to look at her the same honestly especially since I love her so much that would hurt me a lot 😟
"We laughed about the whole thing"
*How*
Once a while back, my mother was shaking and crying on the couch. I can't remember why and then she looked at me with the most pained expression and both softly and loudly at the same time. Asked me "what is wrong with you." One of the most painful things about this is. She doesn't even remember saying this to me. But it's sticks with me every day of my life. sometimes, when I look at her all I hear are those words, and I can't help but think "what is wrong with me?"
Why is it the absolute worse things they can't remember? I wonder if they literally block it out so they don't feel like a horrible person. My favorites that I can remember right now is my mom telling me "I wish I had a normal daughter that I could dress pretty like everybody else." (Ive always dressed in a stereotypically boyish way), and the time she tried to tell me to essentially be in to this boy because his family has money. I was like 13 at the time 😐
Bro she remembers but trys to brush it off
Same case for me. She doesn’t remember any of the horrible things she’s done. Maybe it’s because she was in such a blind rage that her state was dissociative, maybe she’s lying, maybe she just forgot because it was that unimportant to her. My sister has also now forgotten what happened to us too, I’m the only one that still remembers. I’ll never be able to forget.
@@gooseii I ask myself those same questions.
Her: “gets a small piece of metal on her face”
The mom: “so youve chosen death?”
my brother would slap me really hard if I talked to a boy ( not dating just normal talking )
he would literally use his belt bc he slapped my big sister one time with a belt bc of a boi
@@animefan300yearsago your brother needs good beating... I don't know from where you are ,I am an Indian and here we celebrate brother sister's relationship and elder sister is kept at tge place of our mother ...... Even if you have a boyfriend, HE doesn't have any rights to hit you... brother should be protective, because toxic and abusive people are everywhere....this is the only relationship which is very precious as we can be BFF and parents both
He doesn't deserve to be called a brother
@@animefan300yearsago what the fuck is wrong with him bish slap him back 👋
@@animefan300yearsago i sure hope he doesn’t talk to girls then lol
@@animefan300yearsago he has some gal. Y’all still in contact?
“I don’t love you anymore-“
Bc I can’t project my image onto you as mini me anymore
This
This hits different when you realized it
That part
This hits hard
oh man :(
“Some parents don’t deserve kids but all kids deserve parents”
Edit: yes all parents deserve kids and sometimes it’s not the parents fault it could be the grandparents fault how they were treated when THEY were younger and now they do the same to their child because they think it’s “normal” it’s actually devastated cause the way children are being treated at home has caused many suicides also one at my sisters school it breaks my heart someone could say such a thing that a child could be left in a hospital because they are not perfect that they do not meet the expectations of a child these replys are really hurting my heart every child deserves a parent Idgaf what u say they do need someone to teach them as they grow older to be better to be the bigger person not always wanting the last hit.
Also… it could be severe bullying that draws them over the edge. I think if someone gets treated that way by their parents find the nearest retiring home u won’t regret it ❤️
@World_Peace! really? I've never seen people say that not all kids deserve parents, but honestly I agree- not all kids and/or parents deserve each other
So true
I like that one
@@harp7803 Well I kinda disagree, I think every kid deserves parents if they treat their parents bad then that’s kinda the parents fault for not teaching them what’s wrong and what’s not
@@harp7803 I respectfully disagree.
i feel that a kid acts the way they do because of the way they were taught or everything around them. Kids get taught by parents, kids learn from parents, so if a kid is acting up, they should get taught better and learn from it.
Kids learn from parents, every parent learned what worked for them and teach it upon the kids, everyone learns differently because they are taught from different people, in different places.
A kid should be held accountable for there mistakes but it shouldn't be a reason why they don't deserve a parent- they just need to be taught better.
"Every kid deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a kid"
People used to be so immature about the prospects of having children and when they did have children they didn't even think about learning to be a parent nor care about the consequences and just putting it in their children, i'm kinda glad now that our generation is learning and being mature because of their experiences with their parents
“And the then we laughed about the whole thing”
Ahahahaha daughter isn’t it so funny how I just told you I don’t love you and verbally evicted you from my house?
Lol yes so funny
that was something else 💀 chill tf out
I hate myself for laughing at this omg 😭
yall just don't understand Asian mother and daughter relationships
@@NY-or5hh I'm Asian and even I think her mother is a horrible person.
@@N0t.Vincent.Charbonneau i never said her mother was in the right I just meant that this is how most Asian mothers are
My mother has before said “I wish you weren’t my daughter.” And has a slight problem of always comparing me with other people. She doesn’t do it anymore but every so often it still affects me.
Relatable....
my mom used to say the most horrible things to me when my dad wasn't around and then change the story and make me the villain when he got home. She would throw a fit if he ever took my side until he switched over to her side just to diffuse the situation. I too got the "i don't love you" at age 10 all because i was giving her a hard time because she wouldn't let me take my doll to the grocery store. I asked her why she had always told me she loved me and she said "because that's what moms are supposed to do." I'm 22 now and our relationship is non existent. She still blames me for the childhood abuse *she* put me through.
saying this to remind people the importance of the words we choose to use. There are some lines that should never be crossed. I haven't believed a single "i love you" from my mom since.
@@xpeachypie4133I am so sorry. I hope you are doing well now. Your “mom” didn’t and will never deserve you
I'm so sorry. I'm a mom and im glad you are here! 🙂🥀🇨🇦🌏
"You won't get any respectful job" said by my mother when i was at the lowest point of my life. There are other hurtful things said by her but this one rings in my head every now and then.
this reminds me of the time i told my mom she was the reason of why i was depressed and she looked me up and down and said "then why don't you just k1ll y0urs3lf then" very loudly and my dad starts screaming "what the f" and "don't say that to her" it's always stuck with me and it always will tbh even if she said sorry.
WTH IS WRONG WITH HER WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD EVEN THINK THAT FOR THEIR FAMILY MEMBER. She must be a very jealous insecure person
Why would you tell her that she's the reason your depressed. That's messed up too you know
OMG .....I could NEVER say that to my kids. She is so wrong! You are worthy of love and needed in this world. ❤️ I'm glad you didn't take her insane advice
@@eduardopadilla9958 she used to abuse me and let all her anger out on me and she was the reason i spiraled it was wrong i understand
@@meep_moop444 ahh that sucks buddy. Then she deserved those words said to her.
“We laughed about the whole thing”
Bro what
Asian mother-daughter relationships seems to be like this in my experience and for those around me, but I guess it’s sample bias. Even then, I’d say it’s pretty common regardless of race, but particularly for asians
@@ivealwaysbeenswimming9030 Doesn't make it ok.
@@youtubespy9473 at all
@@youtubespy9473 i mean you don't know her relationship with her mother? she doesn't need you to tell her if her relationship with her mother is good or not.
@@Muth Thank you for your comment. I was a tad bit shocked when I saw that my point became misconstrued. It’s really sad that people would become so defensive especially when I probably share similar experiences as them.
reminds me of a time my mother told me she wished i wasn’t her child and i told her i wished she wasn’t my mother and she hit me for it
Why did she hit you again? Like what did she expect you to do? Be like: oh I'm so sorry you said that. I would be like:😒 umm I'm sorry so you Expect me to apologize or what? This never happened with me but I'm so sorry it did with you
"U dont have a father anymore. I dont have a daughter" words said after almost breaking my hand from sheer force. I still remember it wery well
...what?
I kinda had a similar situation with my mom the last time I saw her, but my dad would never tell her like that. Doesn't matter what she does, he'll never tell her she did something bad.
Maybe not in front of you? 🤷🏾♀️Clearly idk u or your parents. I'm just hoping here.
@@naiomisweets8942 I agree
Normally I feel like if both parents are reasonable people, they should be a united front. But this was not a normal, level-headed thing, and I feel like it helped to show the child (even if they weren’t a child) that they are loved and protected
I can’t imagine making up with my mother if she said that, especially because this was about your brother.
My mom used to abuse us verbally & physically. It was horrible as a kid. Really messed with my empathy as a child.
@@williamshakespeare722 same here. Everyone seemed to take up for my brother. I was the one that was messed up and everyone turned their backs on me yet coddled the abuser. He sexually molested me and others but he was the one who needed understanding and love. My Mom wasn't there for me and now I can't have that talk with her, I will never hear her say she's sorry because she died almost 4 years ago. My daughter said something to me that really hit me, hit my heart. She said, "As we get older we have to parent ourselves, parent that child that is still hurt because no one is coming, they have their own mess to deal with, so we have to deal with the mess they created because no one is coming". I've put myself through so much not realizing that it was from my childhood trauma and now I have to parent that child inside that is still hurt. It sucks but I'll be better in the end. I didn't have a father to tell my Mom to take it back, she was a single mother who was also an alcoholic. Behind every smile is a story. God bless your journey.
Can't hold on to stuff like that. It will only end in hurting yourself.
It probably wasn't solely about the brother. I'm sure, in some way, it was probably like 'if YOU hadn't gotten your eyebrow pierced, HE wouldn't be dyeing his hair.". Her mother probably took these things as her failing her kids, in a very weird way. Parenting is hard. I did like how her father stood up for her. My mother used to slap me, and my brother, in our faces on occasion. I really think that she had bi-polar disorder and she'd get so worked up, she almost couldn't help it. But anyway, one day she did that and my father, who is very quiet and calm told her that if she did that again, that would be the last thing she did. He wasn't threatening to beat her or anything. I think he'd just had enough, really.
(The rest of this is super long and I apologize...)
So for the actual point of the comment, why wouldn't you want to make up with your mother? Have you never said anything out of frustration or anger then regretted it but was too stubborn to take it back?
I see things differently because my mom died when I was 17 (I'm 40 now) but there's nothing that she could do or say that I wouldn't want to make up with her about. Because I was so young when she died, we fought a lot. Teenage years are rough. She was also miserable and sick, seeing as she was dying of cancer for at least a year. This was her 2nd time having it and she was suffering a lot, especially at the end. I'm also disabled and she'd started getting sick again during my last hospital stay where I was in the hospital for 3 months. She didn't tell anyone because she was determined to take care of me because she was a great mother, even with her flaws. My dad shielded me and my brother from all her suffering so we didn't know a lot about it. We didn't know that she literally couldn't hold anything down for days, that she was throwing up almost constantly, etc. It was my senior year and my brother had already graduated high school. We were busy with our lives. When she went to the hospital for the last time, I honestly didn't know she was that sick. She'd been in and out for a year at that point, so I thought she'd be back home soon enough. It never occurred to me that she could die... not really. I hadn't even thought about it. My dad said that he maybe he should have let us do more for her, so we would have known what was coming but it really doesn't matter now. That's been 23 years ago. (She died on her birthday, January 20th) She was 45 and, like I said, I'm 40 now and there's so many things I wish I could have asked her. Mainly I just want to know if she would have been proud of me. She wasn't proud of me when she was alive. Sure, people can say she was and maybe so, for small things. But it really seemed like nothing I did was ever good enough. (Without making this post even longer, I was semi-goth/grunge in a tiny southern, VERY Christian, town and EVERYONE knew my mom. When she died, her funeral had the most people there I've ever seen outside of famous important people on TV. People still stop me to talk about her when I go home.) But I know that I embarrassed her to a degree. She was the popular, pretty blonde that was outgoing and funny in school and I wasn't any of that. I didn't really want to be.
Ultimately, I just would have liked to know if she and I would have ended up as friends... like, how close would we have ended up.
Anyway, I don't know your relationship with your mom and if she's a good person, etc but I encourage you to always try to make up with your loved ones, no matter what they say, if at all possible. Of course, don't keep toxic people in your life, no matter who they are. My step-daughter's mother is quite toxic and I've encouraged the step-daughter to set up boundaries with her mother for her own mental healths sake.
A lot of times words that are hurtful are said because the person saying them is hurt. It doesn't make it right but it happens. You just never know when that person is going to be completely gone and you'll never get that chance to make up with them... which is probably why the father was so shocked when her mother said that. Of course she still loved her daughter. That rarely changes.
@@yolandawilson9852 the fact the my girlfriend has gone through abuse just like this. It’s genuinely saddening, and I only wish for the best for you and your daughter, I’m just glad i get to be there for my girlfriend
I remember finally opening up to my mom about my depression & after a long conversation that ultimately turned into me trying help her understand it wasn’t about her. She resented me for a multitude of reasons for this. And spitefully said “you make me want to kill myself” something I will never forget
I am so sorry.. Something similar happened to me one time but not the same so when my mom picked me up from my theater rehearsals she was on the phone with my Tio Eddie and while I was on my phone the only thing I had heard was “I don’t know what to do.. Should I kill myself?” I hadn’t ever felt so bad about anything in my entire life..
And Another thing is when she found out about my preferred name she walked in a calmly said “Oliver that’s your name now?” I responded with “Uhm it’s my preferred name..” she scoffed and walked off but came back “How come you don’t tell people about it?” “I told some people” “But you didn’t Tell me?” “…” “Well I’m still gonna call you *Deadname*” And made a big deal saying I don’t tell her anything.. I love my mother but that just infuriated me..
I don't think she truly understood the level of depression you were going through, but she internalized it as you were rejecting her, which you did not.
What a horrible some parents are.. They think they give food and shelter so we have no problem and they got every problem in the world bcz we (there kid) are in existence. They only think there mental health matters and we enjoy hurting them.. Actually these kind of parents need thropy
@@Purnima__kk Some parents you could just strangle. Their Insane
my mom says that everytime we fight, and we fight a lot. no one deserves to go through these type of things
i’m 33 every time i told my mom i loved her since i was a child she would say ohh that’s nice 😢she has never told me she loves me … if u are reading this & have a mother who shows her love for u cherish it forever
Ashley, you are loved by the Lord! Unfortunately, sometimes humans don't know how to say or show love.😘
Have a great life from this day on.
Me too! Mine says "okay. Bye." Like bish keep going. She's racist so I'll make sure to get like, a South Sudanese person to help her when she's a little older. What? 😎
My mom said “I don’t love you anymore you’re a disgrace” when I was 18. I’ve never looked back and I couldn’t be happier. Peace and love to those going through tough situations ❤️
Regardless of what she said when she clearly lost her mind....you are deserving of love and kindness 💖 I am glad you found happiness
God loves you … but when you boss up they’ll want you back He said that we all have to go through that certain people they have gone through that I’m not close to my mother either she’s always been manipulative and evil woman but I am a super mom and so good to my kids it’s all right God has you in his hands
Don't worry, they don't blame you, they blame themselves for not raising you right. You're a failure.
My mom told me she wished she aborted me. To my face😪
Reason being that my dad left her
Yes, they're our family but when we need to cut ties with them for us to grow, we have to. We should not normalize toxic behaviors or actions. I hooe ur doing fine. I love you:)
My mom once said “what was the point of giving birth to you” after I told her I was tired and didn’t have the energy to comfort her. The thing is that I had actually spent the past few hours trying to break up a fight between my parents, so of course I was tired.
I'm so sorry. I totally get you, my parents just fought today.
it happens to the best of us. i love whoever you may be and you’ll shine in the coming years
I love both of you and think you’re so strong and amazing. It won’t always be like this.
:(
🫂🫂🫂
I hate when parents choose being right over a relationship with their kids.
Because the mother the one who Created them
And father made them
Very true. I have not once in my life heard my father admit he is wrong. In every argument we have he has to win and he will push me to the edge and hit me and yell at me until I’m practically on my knees begging for him to stop . He has to have the last word and I still live with it to this day. But I’m not scared or sorry for myself. My main focus is helping my oldest brother because my dad had treated him and my mother so badly before the got divorced and my second oldest brother was born. My oldest brother is currently in the hospital due to suicidal acts. My dad got remarried around 5 years ago and I’ve had to deal with sexual assault from my step brother ever since and been called a drama queen when I told my step mom. I finally told my therapist about the situation and so I stay with my mom full time and only see my dad for dinner and small periods of time over the weekends and am currently being treated like it’s my fault that all this had to happen. My parents divorced only a couple months after I was born so I’ve been told all my life that I’m the reason for it and that I cause all the problems in the family. Both my brothers(I am the youngest) still hate me and have hated me my whole life and mentally ruined me when I continued to love them and take care of their mental health.
@@karensmith8223 i hope you can find closure and love within other people and can forever get away from such terrible people... i have, and it makes family abuse feel like a rock you just kick out of the way of *your* life, in which, you most seriously *matter* and eventually you'll matter to wonderful people because you did nothing wrong and remained a good person.
But im sorry this went on to happen to you..
@@karensmith8223 I'm sorry amd Hope your. K
@@bozmundarts2614 I really appreciate kind words like that. I hope the same outcome for you and everyone you know and love. Best wishes and hopes that your pillow will be cold tonight ☺️
In my family hugs mean a lot. It’s a way to tell your loved ones “I love you even when we disagree”. If someone is angry, sad, afraid, etc we hug. But when I was 5 years old, my mother got mad at me. So I put on my best smile with my arms spread out and said “I am so sorry. I just want you to know I REALLY love you!” My mother ignored me and walked away as if I was invisible. After what must have been 30 minutes of me thinking my mother never loved me , she came to me. Before I could say anything she said “That made you feel bad right. That’s how you make me feel every day.” And walked away again. The worst part is that I have never got a answer to what I did wrong. That is why I don’t love you anymore mother. That’s one of the many reasons why I am disgusted by you.
Holy shit, dude... I'm so sorry
That’s awful, I’m sorry. One of my earliest memories is my mom saying that no matter what she would never refuse a hug from us. Even if I made her mad she’d still hug me but the hug doesn’t get me out of trouble. My mom wasn’t perfect but she did a couple things right.
That’s fucking awful- this made me tear up. Parents like this then wonder why their kids don’t talk to them anymore. I hope you have others who love you for you unconditionally.
Jesus loves you and His arms are open wide to you and to anyone and everyone who needs comfort ♥️🥲💕🙏🤗
She tried to teach you a lesson but backfire 😂😂😂
I misread “Omma” as “Obama” and was confused for a second 😭
I did the same thing!!!
Obama will cry in the sofa if we get eyebrow piercings
I was looking for this comment. 🤣
Jellymid
“That time Obama told me “I don’t love you””. LMAO
My mom’s go to was always “you’re never going anywhere in life” and it’s just so disheartening, especially when you make even the tiniest of mistakes. One of the big reasons I grew up to be so hard on myself for everything.
I wish she would have taught you what I teach my sons. I say "sometimes you succeed and sometimes you learn." Mistakes are the only way to learn. You deserve love and kindness 💖
I think I might’ve been a little bit the same
My mom had said this to me too and I can relate.
Yes .. same here but with my father
I crumbled over that. Not only they say that but make everything to sabotage you and make the prophecy come true. 20+ years listening to that and it will happen. I spent all my life wishing to be dead so all her misery would go away.
At 32 i finally attempted against my life. I was locked in a mental ward and treated worse than a criminal. 2 years have passed, I'm literally just existing because I'm too scared of failing AGAIN to end my own life and end up alive in a place like that.
Parents who choose to have children just to tyrannically abuse them should have a painful life and death. They are old and freaking healthy, I'm rotting with phsyical and mental illness.
The joy of being an older sibling. When my brother acts up, it is my fault because i am the oldest.
Every child deserves parents, but not every parent deserves children. I believe this so firmly I even feel this way about pets. Unless you’re ready to be a fantastic dog owner, don’t buy a dog. Unless you’re ready to be a fantastic parent don’t have kids.
Sometimes Asian mothers think that their children are just sponges for their abuse. For every slight they feel the outside world gives them, they beat it into their kids skin. The preferential love they have for their boys is staggering. I feel like your video minimizes the hurt that I felt my entire life from my mothers casual cruelty. “We just laughed it off”. Yea, I laughed off my mother beating me, taking away my things, yelling at me in front of extended family and my classmates. It’s been great.
it's almost like the video isn't about you and your direct experience. the fuck? and that's a huge generalization of asian moms, not everyone is like your mom.
@@murmirr “sometimes”
@@murmirrIt’s kinda true..? My mom and dad drove me suicidal over grades when I confronted them about it they told me I was a liar. It kinda hurt.
@@murmirrkey words: sometimes, I
@@murmirrI hope you realize that you're trying to start an argument, for no reason. THEY KNOW THAT IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM. DO NOT PROJECT.
"I'm giving up on you" was something my grandma told me when I was younger. It's been a long go of trying to better myself and get better, but those words still haunt me whenever I struggle.
I think parents often forget that their words have weight. Sometimes in anger they say things that they don’t think we’ll remember. But there are some words that just hurt. Some that we never quite forget.
You cant talk to her like that, take it back, instant tears ❤️
Usually my mom shows me this side of hers when she’s mad at my brother. I guess letting it out on her daughter is easier, since her son is her biggest love. Sad
Look up narcissistic abuse recovery
Call her out on it next time. "You're not even mad at me, you're just mad at my brother. Stop taking it out on me." Sometimes verbalizing that you know their true intentions helps them stop and think about their actions.
@@imannaomi6646 oh did that, made it worse 😅
@@someoneyoumayormaynotknow3924 im sorry you have to go through that. Once you're independent leave your horrible mother and find people who will love you for who you are ❤❤❤❤
Same 🫤
the worst i’ve heard that’s even remotely similar to this is when my mother would demand that i “stop faking my depression for attention.” it was months after i’d gotten officially diagnosed. she would pull that card a lot every time i tried to open up to her about how i felt. i know for a fact if i ever bring it up she’ll deny it ever happened. because apparently she can do no wrong.
My father told me the same thing about my anxiety, even after he had a session with my psychiatrist, since I was a minor when I was diagnosed, and at some point, he said something similar about my concussion… I know the pain
That is probably one of the most hurtful things someone can say when you're suffering. I can't even imagine how it must have felt to continuously hear that.
thats the problem with our mothers, they think they can do no wrong, in reality all they do is hurt you.
My mom is the same, I have crippling depression due to childhood abuse. I was very high functional until recently when i couldn’t contain my panic attacks and anxiety. She had the audacity to say- I don’t know why you are like that. When literally her denying me being molested by my own dad caused all this pain
@@halolight1469 you mean with mom like this. You make it seem all moms are this way.
“Our trauma isn’t our fault , but our healing is our responsibility”
Life is so short we just got to process it , understand how it effects us and move on
I love this
Very wise ..very true...very productive
Yes indeed
This is the REALEST sht...💯🙏🏼
Yeah I can’t just fucking move on. It’s not that easy for someone us
it's honestly so damaging to hear those words as a child even though years later things get calmer but you sometimes remember all the shit they did and said to you and they never say sorry to you. Older siblings really gets to see the bad and the ugly of growing up
He told me " don't call me dad"
One year After i can't forget this sentence , Always in my head
That’s so traumatic and it’s reasonable that it would not be “forgotten” after just a year. It’s hard not to internalize how we are treated by our parent figures, but please know that his refusal to be in the father role has everything to do with his own issues and nothing to do with you. 💓 please also look into attachment styles, other cPTSD resources… if you are hurting it will not get better, only transform, until you learn to process it in healthy ways. Please take care of yourself
@@okflowerhead909 thank you so much for your message , you're right too , i really appreciat that 🤍, you too take care of yourself
@@bst.m8031 im so sorry i hope ur doing well💗
I'm technically a mom of two already, but I'll be your dad. Fuck shitty parents refusing to do the bare minimum for the children they brought into the world.
He doesn't sound like much of a dad anyways. He doesn't deserve that title.
"You're the reason we always fight"
If my dad heard that, it would cause even a bigger fight that could very well end up with a divorce.
It was the time i wished i wasn't born for the first time. I know she said that at the heat of the moment, but i still cant get over it after 8 years. Hurts deep inside, reminding me to keep my mouth shut.
"the heat of the moment", nah, she's an adult, she needs to be responsible with her mouth.
Acting like what you do & say doesn't effect others is some kid shit. If bringing it up with her makes her all defensive putting it on you that you're "making her feel terrible", ask what she thinks you've been feeling all this time, and if she feels that way about it, then it's right that she feels that way, she needs to take her medicine, do some penance, and take accountability.
Tired of adults still putting themselves on the rack to defend their shit parents from themselves.
@@InnuendoXP sigh i know i know. Mother and father they both have anger issues and they REALLY need both an individual and a couple therapy, but they are the kind of people that will say "why go to therapy? You think we are insane?" if i bring that up. Sadly, there's nothing i can do to stop my mother from taking her anger out on me. She is aware of this too, she confessed that she does indeed take her anger out on me and that she was sorry and whatever. But she never tries to do better. Thats why i simply slowly distant myself from them.
It wasn’t me who experiences but instead my sister did. Whenever my father would do or say something rude to my sister she would tell my mother, most of the time it would lead to a argument. One day I guess that my father grown tired of my sister “Snitching” on him to my mother. So when my father took my sister to go somewhere or something like that Idk how it started with him screaming my sister that she was the reason that him and my mom got into arguments and that it would one day lead to a divorce and the last sentence that came out of his mouth was,” Do you want us to get a divorce, Is that what you want?!”
@@camilo8235 I never snitched. I got a bad grade, and my mother yelled at me to the point of making me cry. Normally my father doesn't see those, but that time, he did. They started arguing, i fleed to my room. When they were done, and mother was going to her own room, she stopped by my room and said that. I couldnt forget.
Never believe you are the reason, even if you weren't there , they would have still fought, its just an excuse by them to hide thier wrong doings.
But parents will be parents still.
Hearing stuff like this makes me feel infinitely in debt to my parents for always letting me make my choices and never even so much as threaten to throw me out for one of my mistakes/choices
You don’t owe them anything.
They were allowing you to be a person, which should be the standard.
@@kentiastrickland2556 Still can't, help but to be grateful to them for allowing me to make my own choices
@@kentiastrickland2556 This! Lol I hate parents who think they're entitled to anything from their kids. Like you can have expectations and be disappointed but you made the conscious decision to have kids, not them
kids owe NOTHING to their parents. if you treat your kid like a decent human being with autonomy and you expect something in return you’re just setting the child up to be used their whole life
Me and my dad we normally get in at-least one big fight every couple of months because Im super emotional and he isn’t very understanding and whenever we do he always tells me how i always ruin everyones day which still makes me cry whenever i remember it and then im always the one who ends up apologizing first…
i came out to my mom and she replied
“i don’t love you anymore, i can’t do this”
i replied after a few moments
“oh i stopped doing that a while ago”
So...How many bruises did you get?
Someone check up on this person, I need to know if they’re okay
Cap
Bro you'd be dead ain't no way you ever said that 💀
I feel you my dad is homophobic
😔 I remember when my mom screamed and cried, telling me "I don't even know you anymore" just because I stopped reading books.... To this day... almost 12 years later I'm still like WTF... Sometimes our parents really f*q up and they should actually apologize while it still matters.
Some of them were not treated well themselves. For e.g. my parent being overly-dependant on us children that they both dictate that their happiness is *our responsibility* as their kids. I sh%t you not, they had conditioned us kids from the very early age and it's hard to escape that trap even well in my thirties.
Turned out, upon observation, my parents each had unresolved traumas respectively. One with abandonment trauma, another with smothered childhood. Both were emotionally ignored and grew up believing in idealistic roles, as mother, as father, & as children. And that's how they survived, not able to support us kids mentally or emotionally because they never knew how to do so.
@@marzipanmerci1068 ooooohhh 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 that's so true and so on point. The responsibilities they place on us are generational traumas they ignored.
Oh same, I dbt read as much anymore (was never exposed to gadgets before year 5 and so went ballistic when I first got to use one.)
@@tartaglia. yes! I can relate to gadgets too!
@@samuri2011 and now I'm obsessed with Yt oversimplified and history channels
And a healthy dose of discord comedy, Mr beast and food videos
Sending a big fat virtual hug to everyone who’s needs weren’t met in their childhood 💕💕
Thank you dear :,) that feels good
This just made me tear up. Thank you ❤️
Thank you dear 💕
Thanks
I thank you for caring about Stranger's you have a caring heart ! Blessings to you ! 🙏✌💜
"If I had the chance to do it all over again, i wouldn't have had you." I think about that moment every day. She tried over and over for children, I was always her miracle baby, hurts to know she regretted me anyway.
My mom threw me into a wall, pulled a chunk of my hair out and then as I was curled up on my bed in the corner of her room (because her brother-in-law had just gotten out of jail and apparently deserved my room more than I did) she sat down on the edge of the bed and said "I'm not going to apologize to you. You deserved it."
Your mom is an awful person
That’s straight up abuse, I’m so sorry that happened to you, she shouldn’t be treating her children that way no matter what the circumstances are and I hope your in a safer place right now.
Ok I've been slapped and belated a little (like hair being pulled beated up with a stick rolling pin empty glass ketchup bottle etc.) by my mom many. But I really think you should call CPS
@@MG-kun
I think you should call police
@@Dishika_lumos my mother has already died of cancer. Also this is Indian parenting style
So many people have children.
Unfortunately, very few of them are parents.
My mother told me that she had stopped loving me long ago.
She made it official.
I told her that that explained everything.
I always knew it, and felt it. She had never hidden it anyway.
It was both heartbreaking and liberating to hear it AT LAST from her. Since I had spent my whole life trying to make her accept/validate/protect/like/love me. Impossible.
Both my hopes and struggles are over. I'm hurt but free 🌟
Loads of well wishes and blessings.May you have an amazing life ahead
@@baljeetkour5819 🙏🏻🌟
The same happened to me, almost an year ago, she texted me about it, finally accepting that she doesn't love me anymore and that she doesn't consider me as her daughter anymore, of course it hurt but it also made me happy that i don't have to live in this delusional truth of gaslighting myself into thinking she cares and stuff, I'm happy you got ur answer!
@@_ricky981 I am sorry but at the same time happy for you. God bless you my dear🙏🏻💙🌟
@@awaywithfairies4689 ofc!! Thank you!!!
I love how open you are about the complexities of the relationships we have with our families - and aren’t afraid to portray both yourself and your family as flawed. After all, those flaws can be what make us closer as families as we acknowledge our mistakes retrospectively. I love tofu Katsu, but I’ve never tried it sandwiched with vegan cheese before - looks delicious!
I wish more fathers reacted like yours and defended their children
“I want another daughter, just not (insert my name.)” Was something my former stepdad said, what had I done? Nothing. I was merely sitting, quietly playing with my blocks while my mother worked a full time job 24/7 while I was six years old (4-8 years old living with him.) Worst thing? I lived with it for four years. What happened? Physical and mental abuse, yelling beyond imagination, and a heart and mind full of hurt that I will have to live for the rest of my life, and guess what? None of it was my fault, nor my mom’s, yet, it still affects me in my everyday life.
But he was your stepdad, he doesn’t matter!!! It’s like a total stranger says it!
It sucks to hear that
Hope you feel better now
@@DX-dthat’s quite dismissive about ops experience. Sure he was their stepdad, but stepparents are still supposed to be parents, and to have this said to you by someone who is supposed to be your parent is just horrible.
@@DX-d Someone who is dating and potentially going to marry your parent is far from a total stranger. Especially to a 4 year old.
Your stepdads loss to treating you like that. Hes missing out, you do what you want to do. I hope the best for you and your mom