I Think My Girlfriend Will Be Mad When I Tell Her This...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- I Think My Girlfriend Will Be Mad When I Tell Her This...
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If at six months in you’re already scared to tell her about major life decisions without her having a meltdown then I’m sorry to say you don’t really have a relationship. Ditch her. Buy the house.
I learned this the hard way...
Yes! And what a shame - This guy should be ENJOYING the whole first house search, selection and closing experience. Ditch that witch! 😬🙃 j/s
I agree with that. Other people are like "it's YOUR decision, she has no say" which is technically true but you can't ignore the relationship part of this. It has huge implications.
Yeah true. Its just very weird how he thinks she might get angry. I doubt i would ever have a situation where I would get angry when I don't have a say in buying something big when just dating for a relatively short time. Like i understand talking about it or helping, but getting angry about it just seems surreal. I think he needs to run, or have a good talk, cause he obviously doesn't seem really into it. 😅
Its my house im buying. Shes on the sideline.
As someone who just dodged a HUGE bullet earlier this year by not buying a house with my ex boyfriend, DO NOT include your girlfriend. If she's mad, wants to leave you, then you, brother, may dodge a bullet yourself. I was going to be the one signing the papers and taking out the mortgage, his name wasn't going to be on the paperwork. He got WAAAYYYY too much of a say in the process. I even knew we would be breaking up at some point, just by the way the relationship was going. I would've been stuck with a house, on my own, that he helped me pick, in a state with no family of my own.
She has no say. That being said, if he doesn't care if he buys a house she hates, then clearly he has no interest in living with her.
Tell her. But, it's not a "I need your feedback" it's a FYI. There is no need to have an argument. Just let her know and if she reacts inappropriately then there is your answer on your future.
I would never expect a guy I was dating less than a year to include me in a property purchase. That’s so soon to me. Wow.
It’s more about he doesn’t want to even tell her about it. I wouldn’t expect my boyfriend to ask for my input but I would expect him to tell me about a major life decision, especially one I’m going to find out about anyway.
Then he needs to quit stringing her along. If after six months he can’t include her and share this with her she isn’t the one. He needs to cut it off.
She has eyes on the prize he should dump her. 😂😂😂😂😂
Christine Cassaday Six months is too soon to think like that. Maybe a year.
There's not even close to being enough info here to have a clue what's going on. Does he think that she'd want to be included because they are currently living together lol. That's kind of a huge deal does he plan to skip out and leave her in breach of lease? Or is he overestimating her level of care about his financial decisions? Or is he spot on? He sounds young so maybe she would like to be included at some level but the whole thing sounds weird. He might want to humor himself and try having a conversation; he might learn a bit about his partner lol.
Unless you’re married, why should he include her?
Right? I’ve looked at rentals with a boyfriend. Never actually buying a home
depends how serious the relationship is. some unmarried couples take their relationship more seriously than some married couples
@@eatpigsnot but as Dave says, if you’re not married you have a roommate. If you take it seriously enough that your 15 or 30 year mortgage decision needs the others input, then you should probably get married.
@@MansterBear i am not against marriage but i abhor the notion married people are somehow better or more accomplished than non married people. how the couple handles their relationship is what matters, not whether or not they had a wedding
@@eatpigsnot it doesn’t have anything to do with being better. It has to do with the insane amount of risk you take on making binding financial decisions with someone you have no legal connection or obligation to.
If she is smart, she will back off permanently. He’s not the one. Don’t waste your time.
No she is not the one and why he is worried about her controlling him
He doesn’t wanna marry her lol he knows buying a house would solidify that he doesn’t like her like that
Huh? Why would the girlfriend get a say? I would have never expected a say when you are only dating.
If you think she is going to have a meltdown, sell the girlfriend, buy whatever house you want.
Nobody's suggesting she GET A SAY. The question is.....should he TELL HER.
Why start a relationship on lies? He shouldn’t be in a relationship if that is the case…
They arent in a proper relationship
Include her in the news that you're buying a house but exclude her from your decision making.
Thanks for your comment, I'll introduce you to something more profitable.
TEXT +1.4.6.9.2.2.5.9.2.5.6
Fornication makes a woman feel married in her own mind. That’s why you shouldn’t do it.
Maybe 50 years ago
@@joyaustin6581 How about 70 years ago...
No I’d say this is true even today.
Toooooo true. Even if people don't want to admit it, it's there.
@@joyaustin6581 No, our brains are still the same.
Time for an Open communication to where your relationship is heading.
They've only been together for SIX months. No reasonable person will expect to be included in long term financial plans with someone you've essentially just met!
Great show! Love these two together.
This is a casual dating relationship, not an engagement!
And when you ditch ol girl and buy that sweet bachelor pad get some blinds
And security cameras…
I see what u did there... blinds questions of the day
@@cincinnatislider maybe when they do an ad for arlo
@@RedeemedRogueMolecules Oh, I have TH-cam privilege. No ads!
@@cincinnatislider haha to keep crazy women out:)
Dude is being accountable. Nothing to it.
Run! Run as fast as you can. This is why I'm going to buy a house later this year while I'm still single. Goals before hoes.
LOL I'm confused. I did the same thing but basically went to open houses of places that *I* liked and had her tell me what she likes about each individual place we checked out.
Would the girlfriend do the same and bring him in ? I don’t think so 😂😂😂😂
It's none of her business. Also... if he's not bringing her into the equation to pick which house, then she should take that as a sign that he wants no future with her. To the GF: Go buy your own house and live your best life girl.
Girlfriend should NOT be involved. WIFE yes. I would wait until being married, or dump her now.
She has no say. Her opinion doesn’t matter.
Exactly, not sure why he even cares what she thinks, he has no understanding of relationships which is a path for disaster.
He's not into her for the long term...She should run now.
Sounds like he wants a "have his cake and eat it, too" relationship. I've seen this before. He might not have been honest with her from the get go. .
Its his house she has no say in anything. He is not Married to her she may not be in his life forever he has to protect himself.
I put it to her this way; I'm moving, this is my new address. You want to go to dinner and a movie.
Red flags everything
When my brother got out of college he got engaged and bought a car he was afraid of what she would think if he got what he wanted I told him you aren’t married so it’s your choice get whatever you want it’s your car until u are married
Six months is no where near a point where you decide on a house together. He should've just been honest about HIS home purchase and I'm sure she would not take it personal but instead, cheer him on in his endeavor.
You can talk to her about it but, its up to you.
Y'all are incompatible. She wants a say, you're insistent she doesn't get one. Which is fine. Personally I think she's a bit weird for thinking she has that big of an opinion at 6 months of dating. I hope you're not with her anymore, my dude
If he has slept with her, that would explain A LOT.
Impending disaster either way
Guys a fortune teller and he sees the end of the road already dump her bro
Why is he sneaking?
Drinking coffee while watching this :)
Me too
If this chick is that volatile and angry that you feel the need to tiptoe around her, you need to ditch her.
She's a materialist, if she wants to get involved...RED ALERT
Lol it has been a long time since I heard someone mention DTR... That took me back to college.
This is why fornication is not good. Women get confused. She’s putting up the sacrifice of a wife so she naturally feels she should be treated like a wife. He needs to stop accepting the s3x from her if he’s not ready to be a husband yet. And she needs to stop giving it. These two are playing with fire.
They only been together six months. I would not include her in anything but where we eating tonight!
Wish we could have Patrice ONeal weigh in here with his opinion
It has only been six months:)
Dude needs to run
If your not married, it isn’t her concern...
She’s not what he sees as the one just the one now.
Then he's not the one...AT ALL.
I was thinking maybe she is the one who has been not wanting to get married,
and he decided to get a house thinking that might settle the relationship one way or the other.
Why are men so sneaky?
He could want to suprise her....why be so.negative ....or hes paying for it so.he can take a call ...why he needs to.tell her when hes dating her for 6 months ...if she loves him.she will be ok with it...why these host laughing like idiots ...
You are always best to be honest with your partner. FInancial peace university for you:)
Jesus, MAN UP!!!!!
Its not your wife bruh, buy your house. You are over thinking this, man up.
A house is a girl's sanctuary. That's like a girl deciding what car you will own as a guy.
Edit: If the guy is not married, I agree the guy should get his house or wait to get married first. Either way, that's a decision he has to make. When not married, very easy for the relationship not to work.
Dave is just flipping his own script.
Previously, Dave BEAT THE DRUM of "If you are not married, there are no co bank accounts, there is no buying a house together" etc. NOW, the guy is trying to use Daves prior philosophy and now Dave says he's in a troubled relationship!
Chose ONE PATH RAMSEY and stop playing with these people.
This man is based 😂
She has no say. The two are not married, or engaged. They’ve been together for six months.
Yes. But why does he ever think and talk about her reaction if he doesn't have plans with her? No plans, no problems, no questions to discuss.
Yes but when you're dating someone you should make your intentions clear. You shouldn't lead someone on to think the relationship might result in marriage when theres no chance of that. He knows she thinks it's leading there but hasn't told her it's not.
If you have to lie about anything in your relationship, the house isn’t the issue.
Bingo
If they aren’t married and it’s his money then it’s his house…period
Exactly he can go find someone else to cuddle up with.
Point blank....perrioodtttt
But that doesn't mean you just do it and be like "oh by the way, I bought a new house and I'm moving in it." Unless you don't care for her and want to break up.
100%
Depends a whole lot on where you live, because where I'm at if they've been living together for long enough he's gunna get burned.
When I was dating my girlfriend I was house hunting and I was completely open with her on my house searching and she didn't give me any problems as I didn't include her at all in my decisions. After finding the house and closing on the deal she stayed completely neutral in my house decision. After I closed on the house and got settled in I put a engagement ring on her finger. We are approaching our 25th wedding anniversary in a few months and of course shes had a huge say in our subsequent house searches since then.
She’s knows what she’s doing. No prenup. The house is not yours anyway lol..
@@byefelicia8632 wrong,he owned it before the marriage.
yeah because she became your wife.
Different times sir
Yes, that's right. By the time you were married, you had a home to put her in, without expense to her. And you two were right and properly ready to start your future together with a home base.
If you are not married she has no say in buying a house is correct. But the fact that you don't want her to know and have some say speaks volumes of where you are in this relationship.
Thank you!! This is a fantastic point of view
I agree. This should be a warning sign to her that it's not headed to marriage.
He could be just as controlling as Dave thinks she is.
@@takeastandorbeenslavedby-left your username tells me that you should chill a bit, "the left" are people too, no tyrants
@@takeastandorbeenslavedby-left Yeah, be a fascist instead....
Speaks volumes about your opinion about her.
My now-husband was in the process of buying a home when we first started dating. He took me to see it, but I tried really hard to remain neutral and encouraging to him. He was totally trying to feel me out, but we hadn't had a DTR talk and that was HIS house, not mine. I think a lot of people have these things backwards. He bought the house, we eventually married and I moved in (in that order), and we moved to a larger home when I got pregnant with our 2nd child. It's JUST a house.
Same here, we weren’t married when hubby bought us a house…3 years later we got married…still living in the house* I was very much apart of the process of choosing the house, my opinion mattered to him. I never pressured him, he wanted to buy a house…I went along for the process. Every situation is different* I think he should at least be open with her, why start a relationship with lies?
It is always just a house but it is a lot of life that goes into it. Think how many people can not afford to buy a home, so think how many hours of ones life goes into being able to afford one. It is just a house until it burns to the ground and then it is a home.
@@clarifyingquestions
That is very well said. Thank you for the share.🤗 Have a Peachy Terrific day!
@@madisonandthefarm I totally agree he should be open with her, but he should also feel comfortable being open with her, which it sounds like he's not. Those are some red flags right there. Honestly why even be in a relationship with someone if you don't want to be open and don't see a future? Both sides are weird on this one.
Same with my husband and I.
If she is marriage material, he should wait to buy a house when they’re married. Otherwise, buy your house and dump the woman you already disregard anyway. Sounds like he’s not interested in her long term.
Bingo
Don’t buy houses with girlfriend/boyfriend
If you can't even tell your girlfriend you want to buy a house you need to get out of that relationship FAST. No, she shouldn't get a say in it but you shouldn't have to hide it. Guessing she is already staying over at his place all the time and yes, acting like they are married and he knows she will want to move in with him...
Don't ever move a girl in she will dry up so fast.... run guy run
Why would she get a say? It's HIS house, their not married. If he's prepared for a fight, he's not with the right person
It goes both ways. I’m a male, but I can see the other side. If he does this, then he has no standing to complain about a decision she may make in the future without consulting him. If he doesn’t confide in her, it begins a rather unhealthy precedent that he was responsible for creating.
You’re missing the point. Even though it will be his decision, if you’re dating somebody, they get to be included in what’s going on in your life. It’s not a friend you can just go say hey, bought a house. The girlfriend can absolutely have an opinion
@@Vots Buying a house is one of the biggest purchases most people will make. He's only been dating her for six months. Even half of marriages fail, so the chances are good that the house is going to be around a lot longer than she will. She can have an opinion, but he's buying it, not THEM. He has no obligation to compromise.
@@Vots Sure she can have an opinion. Her opinion means absolutely NOTHING after a 6 month relationship as a *Girlfriend*
Because she is a modern entitled feminist woman.
That’s your GIRLFRIEND not your WIFE who cares what she thinks? Buy what you want.
.. no. Married or not, it can still effect the other person. So yeah, she can be mad.
@@millsathn no. It’s not your job to pick and chose what you want your boyfriend / girlfriend to do. They are not your property since you two date. You’re wrong
Kind of depends on whether they’re on the path to marriage in his mind, but yeah
@@thrillmonkey I agree with this. In harmonious relationships it is actually normal to care about the partner's reaction, about their thoughts. On her part it is great to share experience with picking and/or owning a house.
But if she realizes that there is no room for her in his dream house... It is upsetting
Unless he is not telling the whole story maybe he is using her money as married couple and he is administrating at his convenience
This caused my brother’s recent breakup. I told him good riddance. She was upset that the house he bought was an hour and 15 minutes away from her house (well her mom’s house that she lives in). She is way too clingy too fast. I think she just sees the money in him.
yes you have to be careful choosing a partner
If she is controlling, she is for the street. Move on men.
Fact
What women isn't controlling?
if you are walking on eggshells in a relationship. time to leave
Dating six months, of course she'd have no say.
Six months in a relationship is the blink of an eye. If you're not married, then it is isn't her choice, period.
You are DATING not married so it’s none of her business.
well tell that do her when she is going down on you.
I would rather have an honest conversation and get into an argument than hide and lie like a child. Just be casual about it and say I decided I'm ready to buy a house and I'm going to start looking, then see what happens and go from there.
There is no such thing as a “casual conversation” about this to a woman. It’s best he just does what he has to do.. She is just in rotation.
@@mambofuego5101 then you’ve been dating the wrong women.
Sabrina Rose Any woman that has to know what I am doing financially, is the wrong woman. It is none of her business. -This is the world women created for themselves. Now, as men become more aware, the less women will be allowed to enjoy the fruits of our labor for free.
As a male, I see a lot of other males with the pretty same opinion. Yeah, but you don’t have to personally deal with the consequences and maybe he loves the woman. It’s easy to have an opinion on your soap box when you literally have no consequences to deal with. Bottom line is, if he wants a future with her, then he needs to tell her. If you want a long term relationship, you can’t make very important life decisions that affect your partner behind their back. That goes for HER as well.
Sounds good but you're forgetting one thing she's not his partner she's somebody he's dating
@@valeriab9735 dating isn't marriage.
Why can't ppl make decisions for themselves the second they're dating.
Just because HE is buying, doesn't equal we. He sounds like he doesn't want to deal with the exclusion 😣 arguments.
Or the silent 😶 "Baby we can take things to the next level! 💍 Or 🍼
He wants he enjoy his accomplishment/purchase without her forcing her way. He's buying his 🏠 not hers.
@@bluevillsplash that was my point.
This is the perfect conversation to have with her. Her reaction should tell you everything you need to know. If she's mad she doesn't get a say that tells you this is not a good fit. If she's not mad or upset then maybe you don't know her as well as you think you do. It doesn't sound like she is the one for you, you should admit this and move on for both of you.
It’s simple communication, she doesn’t get a say but it’s good to talk about it especially if he serious with her.
Sure but obviously he's uncomfortable talking to her about making a major purchase and life decision as such that he doesn't want to communicate.
When it has something to do with purchasing a home i.e something Long-term then it's possible he doesn't see her as Long-term
My girlfriend at the time (now my wife) was NOT on my mortgage, because we weren't married.
If he takes her to the house and asked for her opinion, it looks like an engagement is forthcoming.
Pending,not forthcoming!!
I did not feel like that when I was in a similar situation. I had no problem separating my then boyfriends milestone moment of purchasing his first house with the future of our relationship. They were two completely separate events.
If she’s a good quality girl, she will be hurt you didn’t tell her what you were doing, and will be rethinking your relationship. On the other hand, if she’s low quality and she’s going to want to dictate things and overstep boundaries after you tell her, then YOU need to be rethinking the relationship.
There is the man who has NO plans to marry the woman he is dating, and then there is the man who plans to marry the woman he is dating. The later situation would suggest he would WANT her to know. And he would NOT be scared to tell her.
He's a smart man who's protecting himself. Most marriages end in divorce, and when that happens men get skinned alive.
That can still happen down the road depending on what state he buys the house, what state a marriage occurs, and how each of those states define something like 'community property' or 'pal-amoney'. Be very scared!!
At least we have a couple that are girl/boyfriend and not living together.
She could move in after he buys it (if she is ready to sign a lease, which terminates at a fixed date or marriage, whichever comes first.)
Lots of luck.
I bet they are living together...
He didnt say that .You're assuming that.
Y’all not married so she has no dealings of what you’re doing. Now if you’re married your spouse should know what’s going on.
Wow these guys are a piece of work with this advice. It's 6 months of dating! Dave Ramsey said don't play house live by that saying
It's always interesting when Dave puts on his relationship-advisor hat haha!
You are beautiful Moneybee :)
Slow down young man... learn the difference between girlfriend an wife . Separate rules dude..😆
she should not have a say in what he buys. But this is also a wake up call for her to define her relationship. Don't let him live at your place. tell him time to move into your new house. Bye see you in a few weeks after you give him time to miss you. Find out where you stand before you start the relationship again. Katy
I was dating a guy once who was buying a house. We’d been together for awhile and even then I didn’t assume input. He graciously included me in the process, but all the final decisions were his. I liked the house he chose, which was great cos we spent a lot of time there! (But he wasn’t the person for me so we parted ways, and now he doesn’t even live there anymore lol. It was a nice house, but it was just a house.) Thinking back, I can’t fathom how he could have hidden it even if he’d tried! The deception would not only have been a major red flag, but it would have poisoned other parts of our interaction. Not sure you make it out of a lie that big w the relationship intact (tho as they said, perhaps that’s endgame anyway)
I think the answer is different depending on how long you have been dating. I think six months you should be talking about it with her. If you aren’t willing to talk to her then she isn’t the one and quit stringing her along.
His money, she has no say. Sounds like she will soon be exgf.
He is going to tell her the news, she is going to be excited and say "When are we moving in!?" 😁
i don't think he needs to tell her; but when she finds out she will know there is no future with him. Nice way to say "bye bye" to problematic girlfriend.
Buy the house, ditch the girl. Problem solved.
She can have input when she actually becomes the wife, until then she should 🤐
Right on and good choice.
@@TheeMrsChampion I have a funny feeling she won't be getting the title of "wife" any time soon 😂
@@jamesshaw3850 amen
@@trepan4944 rightfully so. She must have given him some indication that she wouldn’t approve. He probably should bounce sooner than later. Like Dave said, if she’s overbearing, it won’t get any better.
Is he such a limpwrist that the only way to get away from her is to secretly buy a house and move into it and not tell her where it is?
If he's not committed and doesn't see a future, she gets to date multiple people. Women only have a short amount of time to find their future spouse if they want children. We end up getting strung along for years and men don't realize how "but I like where we are now" wastes our time, and then they marry a younger woman who can still have babies when they are ready to settle down. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I wasted my youth on a couple dudes who did that. Just be freaking honest, dudes. DTR is important.
Welcome to Simp City. Population: Brian.
I agree with John to a certain extent.
I would TELL my GF that I’M buying a house and not ask her.
We are not married. You can give me your OPINIONS but that is as far as it goes. I would not hide it from her but she doesn’t really get a say as to where what color price etc. etc. etc.
Break up with girlfriend
N buy house
You are happy 😃
Dave: Sell the girlfriend
She literally has no say
The guy doesn't say so, BUT I'd bet they already are living together, giving her an impression that they are on serious leading-to-marriage levels. If he tells her before he buys, he might not have a place to live until things close ...especially if they live in her place!!