Is Putin’s MADNESS going to cause WW3?! | The Russell Howard Hour

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 1.3K

  • @fionnnellis2117
    @fionnnellis2117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1556

    “Thanks to the inspirational leadership of Vladimir Putin.”
    -Boris Johnson.

    • @LinkTheFusky
      @LinkTheFusky 2 ปีที่แล้ว +144

      Up there in my favourite quotes with
      “Wind power couldn’t pull the skin off a rice pudding.”
      -Boris Johnson

    • @tman5634
      @tman5634 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Two clowns of the highest degree

    • @clinton8421
      @clinton8421 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      @@LinkTheFusky Don't forget:
      "I remember how some people used to sneer at wind power 20 years ago and say that it wouldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding."
      -Boris Johnson

    • @icydsting6037
      @icydsting6037 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      weird week, you have Boris saying this and also had Kamala say that N.Korea were their allies. lmao

    • @abnormalanorak
      @abnormalanorak 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@LinkTheFusky [PUDDING ENJOYMENT NOISES]

  • @tytn9978
    @tytn9978 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1881

    Biden says "Don't!" I actually find that more reassuring than any lengthy warning. There is no ambiguity, no room for doubt in this one statement!

    • @declangray2966
      @declangray2966 2 ปีที่แล้ว +133

      I don't think his brain could handle anything longer

    • @WSmith_1984
      @WSmith_1984 2 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      Biden has already forgotten what he said......

    • @justandy333
      @justandy333 2 ปีที่แล้ว +125

      I remember once the UK Prime minister Theresa May was asked, "Would you be willing to use Nuclear weapons if required?" or words to that effect. Im paraphrasing. And she quickly and without hesitation said "Yes" next question please. And the media went nuts. She did exactly the right thing. Its not what your actually going to do thats important, its what the enemy thinks you're going to do. You think twice when you have the leader of a country publically saying they're willing to use nukes. So yea, good move Biden.

    • @scbtripwire
      @scbtripwire 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Also no way to twist it by cutting the clip off early.

    • @RK-zf1jm
      @RK-zf1jm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      couple of points flight time of Russia biggest nuke to the uk is 3 minutes the flight time to the states is 15 call me wacky but i am not reassured by the notion that our complete descruction gives biden time to make a deal for ukraine while all of Europe save spain is completely gone. Point two see point 1 now techincally its only one point but its such a big point i made it one and 2

  • @collinbranzell1476
    @collinbranzell1476 2 ปีที่แล้ว +289

    It’s been 4 days and I’m still laughing at “modern weapons? You’re sat next to a FAX machine!”

    • @rabsmiff
      @rabsmiff 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Dunno, even a 1945 A-bomb could still pack a fair punch if detonated , I would have thought. In fact, a caveman club could still be very lethal.

    • @aaronhelsby8214
      @aaronhelsby8214 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Russians tested the largest ever nuclear weapon a long time ago.

    • @truthfilter
      @truthfilter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      analogue is better than digital less chance of being hacked! and those phones will do exactly what All phones are meant to do PHONE PEOPLE

    • @spacechannelfiver
      @spacechannelfiver 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Japan is powered by Mechas and Fax machines.

  • @jackbrigoli7452
    @jackbrigoli7452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    Let's be fair though, that "don't" is a hell of a lot more inspiring than any assurance Boris Johnson has tried to give.

    • @HG_Budde
      @HG_Budde ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My thoughts exactly, if the president of the US said that to me with that Clint-Eastwood-face, I would stop whatever I'm currently doing. Anything down to breathing.

    • @anaveragenightlordsfan
      @anaveragenightlordsfan ปีที่แล้ว

      Ain’t that hard.

    • @glazierblue573
      @glazierblue573 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thought that lying stealing prat Boris had resigned and retired to a 3 million pound house he didnt earn?! What the hell is he doing back embarrassing the country for now? Have we not suffered enough? If he is back, he should be back in front of the committee.

  • @chantellenutes5435
    @chantellenutes5435 2 ปีที่แล้ว +245

    Every time I watch Russell, there is always one joke that makes me laugh till I can’t breathe. The whole gremlin guts gag got me this time.

    • @defaultyorker6096
      @defaultyorker6096 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kremlin-guts...?

    • @chantellenutes5435
      @chantellenutes5435 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@defaultyorker6096 oh ok. I must have heard wrong because I was laughing so much

    • @julezpanda14
      @julezpanda14 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@chantellenutes5435 Hahaha.. that's funnier than the joke, that's something I'd do you're not on your own 😂😂😂

    • @DeborahAbelha
      @DeborahAbelha 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I heard gremlins as well maybe like a pun (monsters from K..in

    • @BirdaeBlue
      @BirdaeBlue 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It was the porn bit for me

  • @toodlespoodles9842
    @toodlespoodles9842 2 ปีที่แล้ว +566

    At least those phones behind Putin weren’t the rotary ones😂

    • @JJVernig
      @JJVernig 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      They at least keep working after an EMP nuclear pulse. 😢

    • @ryanslack2666
      @ryanslack2666 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      They're close enough lmao

    • @davidsworld5837
      @davidsworld5837 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      yes they have to be the last time he wanted to call the war office he called his mother on a push button phone
      so they put in the rotary ones to help him not do that again hehe

    • @thingamabob3902
      @thingamabob3902 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      they put the button ones on the rotary ones as potemkin facades ^^

    • @nothereandthereanywhere
      @nothereandthereanywhere 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They have replaced those last year...

  • @Smetkowski24
    @Smetkowski24 2 ปีที่แล้ว +105

    1:03 Don't underestimate the power of the Nokia 3310. It's the only thing that could survive the power of a nuclear blast.

    • @super_happy_alien509
      @super_happy_alien509 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nice to know. once i been vapraized in a Nuke blast my phone will live on. Good selling point i think. Please do not look for Nudes on my phone if you find it next to a heap of Ash.

    • @No-One_aka_No.1
      @No-One_aka_No.1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just incase you survive why not downgrade to a Nokia 5110 it could survive the the shockwave too and you could use it to bash the Hulks

    • @riklangham6739
      @riklangham6739 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I WONDER .
      How many people still have one (as in somewhere) ?
      How many people still have one in use ?
      (I DO !)

  • @reece3163
    @reece3163 2 ปีที่แล้ว +723

    I think Biden nailed it to be honest.. what more can be said. Don’t Do Nukes kids

    • @acerimmer563
      @acerimmer563 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Say no to blow is all I hear instead

    • @samadams1691
      @samadams1691 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You mean sleepy Joe 😴 🥱
      Hey just don't play brave ...
      Stop it Honey

    • @James_Doyle83
      @James_Doyle83 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@samadams1691 you mean criminal sleepy Trump

    • @James_Doyle83
      @James_Doyle83 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes and don't watch nukes top 5 either Biden is right unlike Trump

    • @lazuliwinters743
      @lazuliwinters743 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      But drone bombing brown people is still on the table cause “mUh FrEeDoM!”

  • @ianclewer6684
    @ianclewer6684 2 ปีที่แล้ว +354

    Biden was very clear: DON’T. This can’t be misunderstood.

    • @ellengran6814
      @ellengran6814 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      For 8 years Putin said : Dont to Ukraine/US . Dont kill the people in Donbas and other Eastern parts of Ukraine + dont deploy NATOs men and weapons in Ukraine. US/NATO/Ukraine government never cared to listen to Putin or the people in Eastern Ukraine. Today, Putin dont care to listen to the West anymore. Actually most of the world dont listen to the West anymore.

    • @Thurgosh_OG
      @Thurgosh_OG 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Open Paranormal Is potato.

    • @dadon6055
      @dadon6055 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Thurgosh_OG no you and everyone who thinks Russia is a joke and America and UK are not a joke are the potato's..

    • @shutupiehole12
      @shutupiehole12 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dadon6055 Man only joke here is the fact that you’re insulting anyone when you made the conscious decision to upload that fufu ass rap. Don’t ever get in a booth.

    • @Delusionalcry
      @Delusionalcry 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@dadon6055 lol comedian

  • @Tapman99
    @Tapman99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +128

    Comedy is best in the darkest of times. This is exactly what I needed. Hilarious.

  • @carlgraham9526
    @carlgraham9526 2 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    Love how the general reaction to puitins "im not bluffing" was either sarcasm and just get on with it

  • @Awake-Free-CT
    @Awake-Free-CT 2 ปีที่แล้ว +114

    I like how the man behind Boris smiled when he said Vladimir Putin 🤣🤣

    • @Awake-Free-CT
      @Awake-Free-CT 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @dixia xie Unfortunately I don't think that is going to happen. They just get worse every time.

  • @acequeenofthedeck8431
    @acequeenofthedeck8431 2 ปีที่แล้ว +147

    Honestly, I think Biden keeping it short and simple with 'Don't.' was more effective than if he went into detail about what the US would do. His answer was short and simple, you can't analyse it further than its actual meaning or find flaws in it. So overall yeah, I think his response was good

    • @matrix5062
      @matrix5062 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Utter Twoddle... He cant get any further without loseing concentration from the autoreading without forgetting what he is doing there, or worse, start ablibing..lol.....!!!

    • @evulclown
      @evulclown 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Agreed, he does not need to sabre rattle. Putins little propaganda speech was there for brainwashed Russian nationalists and to try and scare civilians around the world. Nuclear policy is public for a reason, Putin starts to fuel the ICBMs (Rus ones are not locked and loaded, it takes a long time) and he triggers first strike ending their country.

    • @evulclown
      @evulclown 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@matrix5062 okay Putin shill 🤣 are you trying to avoid being conscripted??

    • @katiestans2824
      @katiestans2824 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If you let Biden talk too long then his folks have to come out and assure you that is not what he meant to say.

    • @aleccrombie7923
      @aleccrombie7923 ปีที่แล้ว

      How much concentration required to push a button? I think he can manage that. And the in the West weapons work.

  • @matthewheaton9700
    @matthewheaton9700 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    He's calling himself a rat but if anything, that's offensive to rats. Rats are actually intelligent!

  • @eggbertmcflubermuffin9550
    @eggbertmcflubermuffin9550 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    That " fuckin ooooooohhh" is how imagine the whole of Britain would react to a Russian attack, we be way to sarcastic for our own good😂

    • @bigboredthing
      @bigboredthing 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ricky Gervais sprang immediately to mind "Ooh, you're 'ard!".

    • @SamuelBlack84
      @SamuelBlack84 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It went differently in Threads

  • @lordomacron3719
    @lordomacron3719 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    As for the recruiting prisoners we brits used to do that. Quite often the choice was the hangman’s noose or serve in the army.
    So the choice between certain death or uncertain death.

    • @ianworley8169
      @ianworley8169 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      When? The 18th century?

    • @Thurgosh_OG
      @Thurgosh_OG 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ianworley8169 He's thinking of the Dirty Dozen but they were yanks.

    • @RickReasonnz
      @RickReasonnz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ianworley8169 Maybe thinking about Press Gangs? In any event.... haven't done that in a long time.

    • @lordomacron3719
      @lordomacron3719 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Damn cant you lot use google search?
      Go find out for yourself I am not a history teacher.

    • @cambs0181
      @cambs0181 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That was done quite recently. I knew a guy who was caught robbing a house as a teen back in the late 60s. Choice was Borstal or the army. He stayed on, ended up doing 16 years so they must of done something right.

  • @FOREXSNIPER2020
    @FOREXSNIPER2020 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    5:02 “Thanks to the inspirational leadership of Vladimir Putin.”
    -Boris Johnson.

    • @abs368
      @abs368 ปีที่แล้ว

      He would have saved us all 🤣, Vladimir putin. Uk will not be hurt

  • @DoctorSherbet
    @DoctorSherbet 2 ปีที่แล้ว +260

    "let's recruit prisoners!"
    "So I guess you can say we have prisoners of war. Then Putin" 🤣

    • @JohnWinchester3567
      @JohnWinchester3567 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Training criminals to be deadly nothing can go wrong with that. 😂

  • @Ryukuro
    @Ryukuro 2 ปีที่แล้ว +209

    Usually when people say they are not bluffing, they are bluffing. I doubt Putin would ever use nukes at this point.

    • @lenkacfk7155
      @lenkacfk7155 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think if he feels like he's going down, he won't care how much of the world he's taking down with him - that's when he'll be at his most dangerous, and hopefully, someone will be between him and the red button at that point.

    • @MrMonkey2150
      @MrMonkey2150 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hope our government are more sensible then you 😬, you really think this nutter wouldn’t blow up the world instead of losing? If he played monopoly his typical move would be to flip the board when he goes bankrupt but in real life he would push the button

    • @JBG-AjaxzeMedia
      @JBG-AjaxzeMedia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      what if he said 'i am bluffing' would that mean he isn't bluffing? paradox unlocked

    • @soaruk3697
      @soaruk3697 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Putin might try, but I doubt anyone in the Russian military would -they have stopped two nuclear wars before. Time for them to take him and his cronies out though........

    • @DiligentX
      @DiligentX 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      This comment will age like fine wine

  • @manbtm1
    @manbtm1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I liked it when Biden said “don’t “ it was clear and concise nothing more needed.

  • @SooRandomTV
    @SooRandomTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Jeez Russell. You've been doing well for so many years - great to see it. I remember the mock the week days.

    • @shepshep8654
      @shepshep8654 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "Now time for tonight's Mystery Guest." I like both shows.

  • @BILLYBOBBYLADS
    @BILLYBOBBYLADS 2 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    Bloody hell I never realised the insanity that was Putin. Poor sods that have to clean his crap, and I thought working in retail was a shit job.

    • @SaHaRaSquad
      @SaHaRaSquad 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      They don't have to clean his crap, they basically just bring their own porta-potty and he uses that in all his travels. And no, it's not because of medication, he's been doing that his whole political career. He's totally deranged but not stupid.

    • @RickReasonnz
      @RickReasonnz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I wonder if they keep it in a Poo Tin...

    • @BILLYBOBBYLADS
      @BILLYBOBBYLADS 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RickReasonnz Nice

    • @stephenhoward358
      @stephenhoward358 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's nato and the Ukraine bombing hospitals and blaming Russia what is there to understand

    • @A5H_01
      @A5H_01 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh no, Putin considers these people as the mess that he's cleaning.
      I didn't know house elves could turn dark

  • @WaqManVR
    @WaqManVR 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    That fax machine part was hilarious

  • @jomac2046
    @jomac2046 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Love that Vlad is keeping the retro tech in use, no good throwing out good 40 year old phones.

    • @stellaeliza5317
      @stellaeliza5317 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      IN RUSSIA DON'T HAVE GOOGLE. THEY HAVE THEIR DOMINO SOCIAL NETWORK.

    • @mikeoxsmal69
      @mikeoxsmal69 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can’t tell if this is sarcasm

    • @Bid999xbox
      @Bid999xbox 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      If EMP gets used Russia the only country still making phone calls

    • @riklangham6739
      @riklangham6739 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Vlad, is Russian for; LORD ! Just saying pal, in-case you weren't really meaning it like that. Like Vladivostock means ' Lord of the East' , being the country's only 12 month a year ice free port.

    • @jomac2046
      @jomac2046 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@riklangham6739 I would have thought it was obvious, meant as in VLADimir Putin.

  • @lairddougal3833
    @lairddougal3833 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The first time Vladimir Vladimirovich threatened nuclear war was terrifying. But the fourteenth time in six months? Not so much.
    And Biden’s response? I found that one word pretty damned chilling.

  • @hunger4wonder
    @hunger4wonder 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The faces on those men behind Boris... OMG! I loled so hard 😭😭😭😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @norishimogawa6125
    @norishimogawa6125 2 ปีที่แล้ว +248

    Honestly I think Biden just saying “don’t” is a pretty good warning

    • @soccerruben1
      @soccerruben1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Yeah, agreed. This bit by Russell was off target, but as an American, don’t know what President he has tried not to joke.

    • @PlayshotKalo
      @PlayshotKalo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yeah when the leader of the top superpower in the world with the biggest military budget and diplomatic influence says no, you don’t want to find out what they’re capable of if you don’t heed their warning

    • @Noobmaster-yc2pf
      @Noobmaster-yc2pf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@soccerruben1 How can you suppurt someone that's braindead? And should be in a mental hospital.

    • @Noobmaster-yc2pf
      @Noobmaster-yc2pf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@soccerruben1 How can you suppurt someone that's braindead? And should be in a mental hospital.

    • @str2010
      @str2010 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Short, concise, no elaboration. It gets the point across in this situation. Just don't.

  • @puirYorick
    @puirYorick 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    Personally I am glad that the current POTUS doesn't provide constant material for comedians. If all they can laugh at is how dull and boring he is then it's a wonderful thing for a change. It's not a president's role to entertain comic audiences like some reality show failure & failing property con man.

    • @soccerruben1
      @soccerruben1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      And Biden is doing well. Russell’s but about Biden being clueless is a bit off the mark, but hey needs some material to laugh at.

    • @Raztiana
      @Raztiana 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Biden is very boring. He is hard working, usually well-informed, doesn't create scandals every other day.
      It appears to be impossible to p*** him off, which is a very good trait in a leader.

    • @AK-np4rp
      @AK-np4rp 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      The joke wasn't about being boring and dull. It was about his mental faculties.

    • @ripdbtpoo1441
      @ripdbtpoo1441 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well said (or typed)!

    • @puirYorick
      @puirYorick 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@AK-np4rp That's "dull" in British, BTW. It wouldn't make sense as joke material in comparison with the recent guy mister cofeve or second-term Hollywood cowboy Ronnie either if he meant to imply dementia or something like impairment from OTC drug abuse.
      I'm reminded of when some made fun of Obama for wearing a tan suit. It was the only point of ridicule they could muster. Lame.

  • @xtheamazingax
    @xtheamazingax 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    1:13. If anybody harms that cat, so help me...

    • @DeanandLisa1803
      @DeanandLisa1803 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I’m right behind you..😼

    • @Eggzy-b7f
      @Eggzy-b7f 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Weirdos

    • @stellaeliza5317
      @stellaeliza5317 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Cats in Russia and Ukraine are well respect it

    • @xtheamazingax
      @xtheamazingax 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Eggzy-b7f SO WHAT IF I AM?

  • @rustyfmj2388
    @rustyfmj2388 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    When someone has to tell you explicitly that he's not bluffing, he's definitely bluffing

    • @emilydavids209
      @emilydavids209 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      you nicked that joke aha

    • @backupaccount2394
      @backupaccount2394 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      He’s an egotist that’s been humiliated and pushed into a corner , I wouldn’t speak so soon

    • @nigelsmith2044
      @nigelsmith2044 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Stupid words you fool when you are dealing with potential nuclear holocaust

  • @JargonMadjin
    @JargonMadjin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    "Bend, bend, bend, no."
    Well, at least he admits he has limits

    • @Dragonair08
      @Dragonair08 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That fraudster must have forgotten he came out years ago and admitted to faking all of his shit tricks.
      At least we still have the videos of James Randi making Uri look like the t**t he is.

  • @Raztiana
    @Raztiana 2 ปีที่แล้ว +178

    Biden's laconic answer was perfection!
    A lot of people can't find anything other than his age to complain about, but his facial expression and his eyes shows that there's nothing wrong with Biden's brain. He's still sharper than the average person making bad jokes about him.

    • @TheSoggybiscuit108
      @TheSoggybiscuit108 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      He can barely form a sentence, he can't read properly, he has no sense of balance and he gets lost after walking just a few metres. And I don't think people give a fuck about how old he is, it's the fact that he has no idea how to run a country

    • @JohnWinchester3567
      @JohnWinchester3567 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Biden is 3 years older then Trump and is in way better health. Biden's in shape. Trump a massive heart attack any day now.
      Biden overcame a stutter and stop a sometimes to get the right word. GQP says that's proof of senility. But Boebert under investigations for fraud, Greene fraud, Gaetz drugs and human trafficking not to mention Trump's odd behavior, search for words and not finding them and increasingly slurred spech looks like somebody's senile grandpa.

    • @SHANEO144
      @SHANEO144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Are you delusional

    • @onepom63
      @onepom63 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are completely delusional

    • @soccerruben1
      @soccerruben1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Besides, his “dementia” is him after dealing with decades of stuttering that he had to deal with. So while Biden is not above criticism, this essentialist type of critique isn’t the way to go about it.

  • @heatherwagstaff2448
    @heatherwagstaff2448 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I’m just glad that someone is telling it how it is, comedy or not this world has gone to shit

  • @M_SM_RW
    @M_SM_RW 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I think the guards collect it in a brand new technology called a "poo tin"

    • @uncensored393
      @uncensored393 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I thought that's where it comes from 😆
      Bravo on your pun 👏

  • @newginge9163
    @newginge9163 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    That boris clip😂, honestly just how does he do it

    • @jensatts7125
      @jensatts7125 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      There's calls for his return. Ffs Britain. 🤦

  • @graemepatterson
    @graemepatterson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    He gets people to collect his shit? Where do they put it? In a POO-TIN??

  • @Zoomem6mmi
    @Zoomem6mmi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I am shitting myself over the fax machine thing 😂

  • @Lhorez
    @Lhorez 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    The poop thing is not that surprising. Kim Jon Ugn does it too. You can find out a host of things about a person from their poop (including how sick they are and with what). In NA that's how some cities determine if there are outbreaks of COVID, Polio or other stuff.

    • @debbie09090
      @debbie09090 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Send it in a poo tin

    • @thomasthomas1999
      @thomasthomas1999 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @peter coleman ​ Yep, but that’s just so an enemy wont know you had been there. You ditch it ASAP. It’s not to check if you’ve been fucking poisoned. Mind you some of those old 80’s rat. packs ☠️ .............😂

    • @MsGnor
      @MsGnor 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@debbie09090 💩😆😆😆

  • @TheVoiTube
    @TheVoiTube 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Priceless, that man is a gift to mankind. The best leader United Kingdom has ever had 5:00 - Just amazing.

  • @WilliamHollister
    @WilliamHollister 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I think "Don't..." Is the best we could hope for.
    At least it was the right message 🤦

  • @shubhamsagarsingh9451
    @shubhamsagarsingh9451 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    those machines were around to make sure they can work after an EMP blast

    • @WSmith_1984
      @WSmith_1984 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Precisely..... peoples sheer lack of understanding and awareness of the reality of this situation will lead millions to their deaths.....

    • @leszekwolkowski9856
      @leszekwolkowski9856 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      scrolled down to see if anyone appreciates the value of analogue devices. Not surprised it's an indian.... statistically speaking, ofc :P And I'd bet you're a critical thinker too, because most people need someone to tell them what to think.

    • @JargonMadjin
      @JargonMadjin 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@leszekwolkowski9856 It pisses me off how landlines have to run on electricity now, the power goes out and you can't even call for help anyway, what a stupid idea

    • @AnonEyeMouse
      @AnonEyeMouse 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      They have digital displays and electronic mics, speakers and buttons. They're fucked in an EMP even in the rare event that the lines survived. They're just old as fuck.

    • @Thurgosh_OG
      @Thurgosh_OG 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Solid state technology (like those phones) won't survive an EMP. You have to go back to valve tech to have some machinery function. Russia still has some and so does the UK.

  • @PetroicaRodinogaster264
    @PetroicaRodinogaster264 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    If anyone is coming back from the future to stop a mad bugger from blowing us up, now would be a good time. We have several to choose from but don’t be choosy, take them all out. 🔥

  • @mariealexander9545
    @mariealexander9545 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    OMG Russel you make my day

  • @DonSoprano47
    @DonSoprano47 2 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    Putin-“if our territory is threatened”
    World-“it’s not you’re territory”

    • @sharpvidtube
      @sharpvidtube 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The world turned a blind eye to Crimea. Will be interesting to see how much the world really cares about more Ukrainian territory.

    • @DonSoprano47
      @DonSoprano47 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sharpvidtube you’re right yes but with the threat of world nuclear war other countries see it as a necessary lost of Ukraine to sustain somewhat peace normality obviously extremely fucked up corrupt and selfish but this has happened through history many times before some have to die so that many can live politicians may seem like they care and give thoughts and prayers to Ukraine but deep down no one gives a shit it’s a political game of chess with pawns on a table plus no one gave a shit about Ukraine back in 2014 it’s only that Russia has officially declared war that ears have strung up and politicians have started conference calls

    • @djmorley718
      @djmorley718 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sharpvidtube wasn’t a full scale invasion then

    • @hadorstapa
      @hadorstapa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@djmorley718 true, but it reassured him that he could go for more.

    • @PaganPunk
      @PaganPunk 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      The World did nothing when Turkey invaded Cyprus Either....that was 1974, And they are still Fooking there!!!

  • @oliviawolcott8351
    @oliviawolcott8351 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    that don't though was like if you do, there will be much pain. lmao.

  • @wonderingcrow1382
    @wonderingcrow1382 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    How dare you insult the greatest the most wonderful must kindest 😤 how dare you insult DOBBY!!

  • @lemonsqueeza8248
    @lemonsqueeza8248 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    The Fax Machine😂😂😂

  • @colinwhite5355
    @colinwhite5355 ปีที่แล้ว

    “DON’T!” Right up there along with, ‘Stop thief!’ and ‘Stop worrying’.

  • @46FreddieMercury91
    @46FreddieMercury91 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    forgetting your words in a speech is no big deal. we've all done it. i do not think people should be slagging off Joe biden over Ukraine. right now the US is supporting the cause, so Americans and it's allies need to show unity and support, not petty criticism

  • @aarononeal9830
    @aarononeal9830 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Russel Howard needs to talk about Ecosia they are a search engine that plants trees

  • @Si74l0rd
    @Si74l0rd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Biden actually managed to sound a little bit hard, I'm impressed.

  • @ulfberht4431
    @ulfberht4431 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    3:25 “This mercenary chief, a close ally of Putin’s…”
    Then he’s not so much of a mercenary as he is a loyal warmonger of Putin’s? Mercenaries side with no political or religious side, they only care for who pays them more.

  • @soccerruben1
    @soccerruben1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    While Biden is not above criticism, the critiques of his little gaffes and stutter moments just ain’t it. But besides that clip, Biden has been promised and delivered on this conflict and has been pretty good, so I’m with others in this when they said his “Don’t” comment (I’m sure he had more to say, Russell, but I know “Biden dementia”) but he leagues better than BoJo, Lizzy Truss, or Trump combined.

  • @IDCSarcasticSam
    @IDCSarcasticSam ปีที่แล้ว +1

    0:24 my thoughts exactly.

  • @RubyDoobieScoo
    @RubyDoobieScoo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    They should start using a guy with a soft voice to translate for Putin, they're making him sound manlier than he is.

    • @Eggzy-b7f
      @Eggzy-b7f 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      As if Putin would allow that lmao

    • @ShampooSupernova
      @ShampooSupernova 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Alan Carr would be perfect for this.

  • @marveladdict5948
    @marveladdict5948 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The spoons he would have used would be made of gallium. Gallium has a low melting point of just above room temperature (20°C) but looks similar to silver or aluminium and if I've was gripping it tightly then it would transfer that heat energy and melt it. Lower the concentration of pure gallium, mix it in with other metals and it'll be just right for the magic trick

  • @blackdragoncyrus
    @blackdragoncyrus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "Don't do it. War bad."

  • @zubairmotala9204
    @zubairmotala9204 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Instead of talking about Putin, how about talking about Natos provocations and boris Johnson stopping the potential peace deal? Why not talk about the US warmongering?
    As a comedian you supposed to go against the establishment and mainstream media and not parrot their BS.

  • @Domzdream
    @Domzdream 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Loved the standup Russell ! 👌

  • @FirstNameLastName-oo1zm
    @FirstNameLastName-oo1zm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wasn't a deal made that NATO would not boarder Russia? And doesn't Ukraine want to join NATO?

  • @GHOST91991
    @GHOST91991 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Putin's more like Hitler 2.0 just without the moustache.

  • @joannephillips8214
    @joannephillips8214 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    My dad calls him the gremlin from the Kremlin

  • @Tezonx
    @Tezonx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Named hottest Russian man by himself lol. 😂

  • @cedarrose4345
    @cedarrose4345 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lost it when you extracted the sweet sweet cure 🤣

  • @MY-sn6vi
    @MY-sn6vi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    5:00 the guy behind him closes his eyes and smiles 😂

  • @mcadam5702
    @mcadam5702 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    All the woke warriors in the house give me a thumbs up!

  • @xtheamazingax
    @xtheamazingax 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    And we thought Boris was evil...

    • @Ridz149
      @Ridz149 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nah we jus thought he was an idiot

    • @gretebremseth1622
      @gretebremseth1622 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Nah. Just useless! As a non Brit he made me giggle quite a few times. He never made it to trumps level thou!

    • @lukepennington3376
      @lukepennington3376 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Never thought he was evil, just a bit of a lying scumbag.

    • @DNRTannen
      @DNRTannen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Kermit Idiothunter How long you got?

    • @MrMonkey2150
      @MrMonkey2150 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Evil? Just goes to show that you actually never watched the news

  • @knowledge3563
    @knowledge3563 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    After 19 years since the beginning of the invasion of Iraq, has the West forgotten this war?
    The Iraq war is said to have resulted in 1 million deaths the difference is russia have weapons of mass destruction
    A message to the future generations never make russia feel threatened
    the difference between "looking dangerous" and "being dangerous".Russia
    describes military doctrine as defensive military doctrine. With regard
    to nuclear weapons specifically, Russia reserves the right to use
    nuclear weapons: in response to the use of nuclear and other types of
    weapons of mass destruction against it or its allies,in case of
    aggression against Russia with the use of conventional weapons when the
    very existence of the state is threatened
    How do Russian nuclear weapons compare to the rest of the world?
    Russia - 6,257
    America 5,550
    UK - 225
    France - 290
    China - 350
    Israel - 90
    Pakistan - 165
    India - 156
    North Korea - 40

  • @Jinosta
    @Jinosta 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Fact what putin is doing, it's not surprising what he would do.

  • @shivangchaturvedi237
    @shivangchaturvedi237 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You can joke all you want, by west did a great job of instigating this war and still doing a perfect job of bringing us to a nuclear war situation.

  • @Foxlink87
    @Foxlink87 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I would've laughed more, instead I sit here confused why everyone else is laughng at him speaking truth.

  • @darifish6688
    @darifish6688 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “If liss truss declares war on wales” as a 16 year old from wales im laughing

  • @TheGlobalfrog12
    @TheGlobalfrog12 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Here's a thought experiment... Scotland, with help politically and militarily from China, vote to leave the UK... The UK decides this is unacceptable, and invade Scotland ...Please explain how this is different to the Ukraine situation... Its totally correct to pillory and condemn Putin...but to suggest the west through NATO expansion, hasn't triggered this response is obtuse... The Americans would act the same if it was Mexico ..The Chinese would if it was Hong Kong... I'm not defending the actions...but I am calling it hypocrisy.. So I'll answer the propagandist question with a better one....Who's the mad one? The Russian bear...or the circus trainer attempting to control it through violence...

  • @cfmedic
    @cfmedic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    First time seeing your vids you’re funny AF thanks

  • @victorcharlie5795
    @victorcharlie5795 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Let's start thinking critically and stop just taking what the media says as fact.
    Have a little look at recent history and try to understand what's happening geopolitically.
    Don't let the establishment justify their abysmal failure of domestic responsibility on the conflict in Ukraine.

  • @Pomdownuder
    @Pomdownuder 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    He's great at the rhetoric and smashing small independent states and countries.

  • @PuzzlingChap
    @PuzzlingChap 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "I am not bluffing" - man bluffing

    • @Delusionalcry
      @Delusionalcry 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's like parents saying I'll count to three to kids. Putins just Another looser that won't be remembered in history for anything decent.

  • @erwinbogumil207
    @erwinbogumil207 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "I am not bluffing." Needing to say that is a clear sign that he is bluffing.

  • @blicknessraven
    @blicknessraven 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Why is Uri Geller still allowed to pretend that he is a psychic?

    • @thingamabob3902
      @thingamabob3902 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      his english is bad, he always said that he is a psycho ^^

    • @blicknessraven
      @blicknessraven 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@thingamabob3902 🤣🤣🤣

    • @Dragonair08
      @Dragonair08 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      He must've forgotten he admitted to being a fraud ages ago. With Randi gone he must think he's in the clear.

    • @venomx2
      @venomx2 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      In case we ever need to convince another crazy person that we're defended against his greatest weapons by his psychic might 🤣

    • @Delusionalcry
      @Delusionalcry 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's a million dollar question.
      Trump still thinks he's president, Putin the sexiest man alive, Kim Jong in is God. Why is the question? Answer they're all insane.

  • @donnahutchinson4587
    @donnahutchinson4587 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love Russell Howard he is so funny..I wish he would come to Nottingham in 2223..

  • @kurtisrobertson2151
    @kurtisrobertson2151 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Keep to the student comedy Russell! This is big boy issues.

    • @cathymartens7478
      @cathymartens7478 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Agree, he's made himself look like a fool.

  • @suekennedy1595
    @suekennedy1595 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Bend bend bend made my day

  • @alertedcoyote7892
    @alertedcoyote7892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Biden to Putin: Fuck around and find out

    • @Thurgosh_OG
      @Thurgosh_OG 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Or as he put it in one word "Don't."

  • @luzjaimes2626
    @luzjaimes2626 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bend, bend..... No😂😂😂😂😂 hilarious

  • @Pumpherstonsmith
    @Pumpherstonsmith 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Two men standing knee deep in petrol, one has two matches the other has twenty :- Carl Sagan.

  • @skullzyy6633
    @skullzyy6633 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Don’t - Dumbledore said calmly

  • @js66613
    @js66613 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "He looks like Dobby the Neo-Nazi" is honestly so accurate, imo. XD
    I would say "you can take a man out of a twat but you can't take the twat out of a man", but maybe that's just me.

    • @TheMacKosh
      @TheMacKosh 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      As Bronn said sagely in Game Of Thrones "there's no cure for being a cunt!"

  • @austenpowers
    @austenpowers 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just Excellent Russ

  • @lioneljaftha3473
    @lioneljaftha3473 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Putin is dying. His body language tells all. He seems to be in pain. My fear is that he has nothing to lose and is going to cause havoc before he departs.

  • @moonboy5851
    @moonboy5851 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Really not that funny. We’re so close to nuclear apocalypse. Nobody realises how dangerous this is.

  • @DylanRobins-v4n
    @DylanRobins-v4n 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    He is a Bond Villian

    • @jonnythonmccrapballs3112
      @jonnythonmccrapballs3112 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's not hard to imagine him sitting in a chair saying "evening mr bond" with a cat on his lap

    • @esmenhamaire6398
      @esmenhamaire6398 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nah, he's failed his audition.

    • @thingamabob3902
      @thingamabob3902 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jonnythonmccrapballs3112 I´d like to see 007 pump him full of lead after the greeting ^^

  • @misan2002
    @misan2002 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What's the big deal? Israel has been doing this shit for ages. Russia doing it shouldn't be a problem

  • @alexandercrook
    @alexandercrook 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    i didn't get this in my sub box lol

  • @64standardtrickyness
    @64standardtrickyness 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is just like pre WWII countries want to avoid war and some dictator is trying to abuse this.

  • @isabellaangeline2175
    @isabellaangeline2175 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Wow, “Ben H” must be Trump. Imagine playing gatekeeper for a warmongering Fascist. Imagine loving a Fascist so much that you’re practically orally “servicing” him.

    • @Journey22405
      @Journey22405 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      What

    • @SHANEO144
      @SHANEO144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'd also like to know what?

  • @SerendipityChild
    @SerendipityChild ปีที่แล้ว

    "Modern weapons? You're say next to a fax machine"
    😅 I've never seen a fax machine IRL. Thanks for pointing out it was there

  • @ste887
    @ste887 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    you joke about sergi selling our weapons on ebay, back in the 2012s a friend of mine walked into a russian arms dump and for a bottle of vodka, 200 cigarettes and about 35 pounds he came back with a AKM, 600 rounds of ammuniton, 2 spare magazines and a box of 12 grenades, made a fun fishing trip

    • @davespanksalot8413
      @davespanksalot8413 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Every good joke contains a grain of truth! Question is, did you catch anything or just make fish chowder? 🤣

    • @ste887
      @ste887 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@davespanksalot8413 well honestly the grenades appeared to be old rgd5. So we were both a bit squirrely about throwing them. Did have the balls to pull the pin and throw one each. The others we used a length of string and a empty beer can to make a trip pull and used that to knock down a few trees by setting it up at the base. Seems birch trees are really susptable to explosives.

    • @davespanksalot8413
      @davespanksalot8413 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ste887 Sounds terrifying and exhilarating all at once, like cracker night on steroids!

    • @ste887
      @ste887 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@davespanksalot8413 oh it certianly was a entertaining night. Drank a couple cases of beer then tried to shoot the empties. Sensibly we used up the grenades before opening the spirits. Might have been under the usual young person's delusion of being invulnerable. But wasn't THAT invulnerable to try throwing hand grenades after most of a bottle of vodka. Though aparantly do still remember how a AK Works when intoxicated. Though the folding stock did end up getting broken when we tried to unfold the butt plate and it wouldn't unfold so whacked it against the tree and cracked one of the struts. Bit of duct tape held it together well enough for the evening before eventually getting tossed in a lake. Cos yeah wasn't gonna risk bringing that back home with me. Though funnily enough did get offered a bakail traumatic pistol. And when I turned that down was offered a kedr machine pistol to take home as a 'souvineer' don't think the guy who sold us that stuff either knew about UK firearm Import law. Or more likely he gave precisely zero fcuks.
      could have probably verified that by the guy rummaging through a crate of hand grenades with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Whilst the chance of blowing everything up by smoking is small. Did make me a little nervous. But my Russian friend who was ex army told me to stop being 'such large girl' and stop worrying about it, but felt a lot safer after we left. Even with a crate of cold war grenades in the boot. Least that way no one was smoking over them whilst packing them into a carrying crate.

  • @yasuke1709
    @yasuke1709 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    All these slip of the words by our leaders shows they don't give a shit about what's happening

  • @jonpowell8014
    @jonpowell8014 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Russ, i ask, no, DEMAND that you record a message using the power of your mouth to talk like a fax machine to old vlad... 🤣

    • @Eggzy-b7f
      @Eggzy-b7f 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      DEMAND-ing anything
      Gets you nowhere hahaha
      & besides that,
      Grow up dude

    • @jonpowell8014
      @jonpowell8014 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Eggzy-b7f really, 'dude' ? I assume from your reply, you just don't get humour do you...

  • @jimcrozier3785
    @jimcrozier3785 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    russel howard the greta thunberg of political analysis.