The thing is, the friend didn't give the OP a chance to finish what she was saying. She just assumed the OP was about to say something stupid. That is very disrespectful.
It kinda seems like Sarah is one of those types of “friends” who only keeps a certain friend around not because they like them and want to be friends with them, but to put them down and make themselves look better in comparison. It would make sense with the constant disparaging remarks OP mentioned and how OP supposedly “hurt” her when she left to no longer be a punching bag anymore. Though it could be also a non-American thing where buy into the whole “Americans are arrogant and uneducated” thing with the irony being how arrogant and dumb it is to genuinely believe that majority of Americans are stupid.
I'm an American with Italian and Japanese heritage. My former partner is a German immigrant born in Greese with Polish and German heritage, lived most of his life in Germany. We broke up because while he didn't understand it entirely (as it was normalized around him), sometimes things he would say and most of the time what his "friends" would say would be very disrespectful to me (typically making fun of me for being American using any means necessary, even if it's completely unrelated to the topic, the favorite was the metric system, gun laws and healthcare, the topic could be as completely unrelated as talking about Pokémon). Correcting them myself resulted in gaslighting ("I was just joking, you just took it too hard" was a favorite), so I simply opted to avoid them. My boyfriend did defend me but also said those same types of things, which was one of the problems we had. He is now slowly learning that if he's in a relationship with an American, he'll see a lot more xenophobia towards me and feel that wonderful second-hand guilt and embarrassment and to watch what he says more carefully. This is extremely common behavior with Europeans, but God forbid you expose them for a change, am I right?
OP needs to remember how many times she has apologized in their relationship with this friend. It sounds like she does that a lot more than vice versa. She looked things up when she was unsure, it would of been different if she dismissed it and said no one cares. Latina has nothing to cry about here.
Sarah was probably made feel guilty for hurting you and now thinks you at fault. Just classic darvo. Btw, I wouldn't stay friends with someone who thinks that people of my nationality are "nine out of ten tine stupid and that I am the exception". Even though OP has multiple cultural influences, she's still American, I bet that's part of her identity. To be treated as stupid by vitue of her nationality and having to prove herself to be respected is a toxic dynamic. So what if an American doesn't know all of the countries in the world? Do Europeans know that much about countries outside of their continent? And mind you, I'm saying this as a European.
An American attempting to make this comparison would be at risk of being interrupted and dogpiled by someone saying, "But Europe isn't a country!", ignoring how the European Union, Schengen Area, and the € make them comparable in terms of markets.
They don't like to be called out, that's the fun thing. It's a common trope I've noticed as an American who is part of and practices multiple types of cultures from all over the world. Call a European out, you're the asshole who "can't take a joke" or "you're stupid anyway" or some sort of stereotype or whatever it is we did wrong in the past. Do the same as an American to a European, you're a monster. Unfortunately, that type of behavior is why people outside of Europe hate Europe, especially Americans, though American culture is to respect anyone of all races, so we may not like you, but we will treat you as anyone else here. The one thing Americans hate more than our boats being touched is the European superiority complex. ETA: Also I have had Europeans bitch at me to "learn geography" yet they mixed Mexico and Canada together with the US or couldn't point out Colorado on the map (it's the square in the middle of the US).
Sara needs to sit down and stfu with correcting people. She’s gaslighted you before and she’s gaslighting you now. You need to stop being friends. You and your husband need to have a talk though (I’m not gonna jump straight to divorce) because he also disrespected
Kinda surprised that Sarah didn't start spouting off about the metric system or school shootings, just to complete the European stereotype circle-jerk.
The stereotype about Americans is just a stereotype. It’s like assuming all French people are assholes. Once you meet someone, bringing up insulting stereotypes to them and using those as insults directly to their face is inappropriate.
I’m glad someone else sees it. OP doesn’t seem to mind the propagation of harmful stereotypes against Americans just so long as she’s seen as one of the “good ones.” Also, her friend is a woman of color so I have no idea why she even bothered to bring that up. Her husband should’ve stood up for her. Her friend is obviously prejudiced and is also trying to gaslight her. They all sound a bit insufferable.
@@positiveecho326 It's less someone else "seeing it" and more like circlejerking. OP doesn't suck, and they were not insinuating that they were one of the "good Americans", they were just existing
@@gem_b7798 Well, that is definitely a more favorable view of it. I hope you’re right, either way, her friend doesn’t have much respect for her. Which sucks.
It isn't stupidity, we just don't care about what goes on in other countries. We have better things to do. 😂 I mean assuming doesn't make anyone look good. Oh, it's a victim mentality thing, got it. You can't help that sickness.
That first sentence…unfortunately may have proved Sarah’s point. Also…it’s not even true, seeing the long history the US has of not actually minding their damn business when it comes to other countries. OP may not be a stupid American…but *you* on their other hand…😂
I disagree. Online activity and media consumption has shown that many Americans do care about what happens in other countries. What many people outside of the USA don’t seem to realize is that travel is extremely time consuming and expensive for people in the States. Before the internet it was hard to get news about other parts of the world and it wasn’t feasible to travel either. Heck, unless you live in a border town, it takes hours to travel to Mexico and Canada by car and even if you have the time, you might not have the money. Looking down on Americans for not being “well traveled,” is not only classist but incredibly ignorant about the USA and her geography. Americans do care about what happens in other countries and they are interested, it’s just that the world isn’t as easy to access for some as it is others. This is one of those times where people need to “check their privilege.”
You hurt her feelings by leaving and she wanted an apology for that. She hurt your feelings with that comment and you wanted an apology for that. That simple
No…? Sarah kept insulting OP and made her feel awful/stupid, then tried to gaslight OP into thinking that SHE had done something wrong in the scenario by removing herself from that atmosphere, as well as double down on considering OP to be stupid. I almost think you ARE Sarah if you thought this way 😂
But here’s the thing, OP wouldn’t have left if Sarah wasn’t a condescending jerk to her. The whole situation is the fault of Sarah because if she didn’t decide to be condescending and rude to OP in the first place, OP wouldn’t have got up and left the table. Plus, OP decision was the best decision in this situation. By leaving swiftly and wordlessly she avoided causing a scene and prevented Sarah, and extension OP’s husband, to belittle and mock her. Honestly don’t know how any of this is OP’s fault.
![[ FULL Story ] - Cousin falsely accused me of s*xual assault.](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/aRVkdTv1SzE/mqdefault.jpg)
Tbh Sarah saying that you hurt her after she insinuated you were a stupid American is toxic, Op should not be friends with her
Sarah was so out of line with the gaslighting
You’re right, it’s not worth the fight. Don’t ever contact me ever again. 👋
NTA, get therapy for that people pleaser behaviour though, seems like you usually gaslight yourself (or others to you)
The thing is, the friend didn't give the OP a chance to finish what she was saying. She just assumed the OP was about to say something stupid. That is very disrespectful.
She has sought out and earned her friends/hubby. She wanted 'elitist victims' as family & and friends, and now she has them.
It kinda seems like Sarah is one of those types of “friends” who only keeps a certain friend around not because they like them and want to be friends with them, but to put them down and make themselves look better in comparison.
It would make sense with the constant disparaging remarks OP mentioned and how OP supposedly “hurt” her when she left to no longer be a punching bag anymore.
Though it could be also a non-American thing where buy into the whole “Americans are arrogant and uneducated” thing with the irony being how arrogant and dumb it is to genuinely believe that majority of Americans are stupid.
Sarah was gaslighting OP.
“I got called out so I’m going to make you feel bad so I don’t have to feel guilty” BS 💩
I'm an American with Italian and Japanese heritage. My former partner is a German immigrant born in Greese with Polish and German heritage, lived most of his life in Germany. We broke up because while he didn't understand it entirely (as it was normalized around him), sometimes things he would say and most of the time what his "friends" would say would be very disrespectful to me (typically making fun of me for being American using any means necessary, even if it's completely unrelated to the topic, the favorite was the metric system, gun laws and healthcare, the topic could be as completely unrelated as talking about Pokémon). Correcting them myself resulted in gaslighting ("I was just joking, you just took it too hard" was a favorite), so I simply opted to avoid them. My boyfriend did defend me but also said those same types of things, which was one of the problems we had. He is now slowly learning that if he's in a relationship with an American, he'll see a lot more xenophobia towards me and feel that wonderful second-hand guilt and embarrassment and to watch what he says more carefully. This is extremely common behavior with Europeans, but God forbid you expose them for a change, am I right?
OP needs to remember how many times she has apologized in their relationship with this friend. It sounds like she does that a lot more than vice versa. She looked things up when she was unsure, it would of been different if she dismissed it and said no one cares. Latina has nothing to cry about here.
It depends on your friend's actions in the future.
Sarah was probably made feel guilty for hurting you and now thinks you at fault. Just classic darvo.
Btw, I wouldn't stay friends with someone who thinks that people of my nationality are "nine out of ten tine stupid and that I am the exception". Even though OP has multiple cultural influences, she's still American, I bet that's part of her identity. To be treated as stupid by vitue of her nationality and having to prove herself to be respected is a toxic dynamic. So what if an American doesn't know all of the countries in the world? Do Europeans know that much about countries outside of their continent? And mind you, I'm saying this as a European.
An American attempting to make this comparison would be at risk of being interrupted and dogpiled by someone saying, "But Europe isn't a country!", ignoring how the European Union, Schengen Area, and the € make them comparable in terms of markets.
They don't like to be called out, that's the fun thing. It's a common trope I've noticed as an American who is part of and practices multiple types of cultures from all over the world. Call a European out, you're the asshole who "can't take a joke" or "you're stupid anyway" or some sort of stereotype or whatever it is we did wrong in the past. Do the same as an American to a European, you're a monster. Unfortunately, that type of behavior is why people outside of Europe hate Europe, especially Americans, though American culture is to respect anyone of all races, so we may not like you, but we will treat you as anyone else here. The one thing Americans hate more than our boats being touched is the European superiority complex.
ETA: Also I have had Europeans bitch at me to "learn geography" yet they mixed Mexico and Canada together with the US or couldn't point out Colorado on the map (it's the square in the middle of the US).
@animal0mother "and besides, at least _our_ children don't have to worry about getting shot in class!"
Yes, they do that.
If she doesn’t think op is one of the stupid ones then why does she keep bringing this shit up in reference to her?
Heard this story elsewhere but I am glad OP left this awful person.
YOU ARE NOT THE AH OP! DO NOT FORGIVE THIS! You need to leave!
The Texas flag was inspired by the American flag. Just saying.
*Where's The Video With The Updates!*
Sara needs to sit down and stfu with correcting people. She’s gaslighted you before and she’s gaslighting you now. You need to stop being friends. You and your husband need to have a talk though (I’m not gonna jump straight to divorce) because he also disrespected
Kinda surprised that Sarah didn't start spouting off about the metric system or school shootings, just to complete the European stereotype circle-jerk.
The stereotype about Americans is just a stereotype. It’s like assuming all French people are assholes. Once you meet someone, bringing up insulting stereotypes to them and using those as insults directly to their face is inappropriate.
Everyone kind of sucks TBH
I’m glad someone else sees it. OP doesn’t seem to mind the propagation of harmful stereotypes against Americans just so long as she’s seen as one of the “good ones.” Also, her friend is a woman of color so I have no idea why she even bothered to bring that up. Her husband should’ve stood up for her. Her friend is obviously prejudiced and is also trying to gaslight her. They all sound a bit insufferable.
@@positiveecho326 It's less someone else "seeing it" and more like circlejerking. OP doesn't suck, and they were not insinuating that they were one of the "good Americans", they were just existing
@@gem_b7798 Well, that is definitely a more favorable view of it. I hope you’re right, either way, her friend doesn’t have much respect for her. Which sucks.
It isn't stupidity, we just don't care about what goes on in other countries. We have better things to do. 😂
I mean assuming doesn't make anyone look good.
Oh, it's a victim mentality thing, got it. You can't help that sickness.
The first sentence is exactly why the stereotype exists 😂
That first sentence…unfortunately may have proved Sarah’s point.
Also…it’s not even true, seeing the long history the US has of not actually minding their damn business when it comes to other countries. OP may not be a stupid American…but *you* on their other hand…😂
I disagree. Online activity and media consumption has shown that many Americans do care about what happens in other countries. What many people outside of the USA don’t seem to realize is that travel is extremely time consuming and expensive for people in the States. Before the internet it was hard to get news about other parts of the world and it wasn’t feasible to travel either. Heck, unless you live in a border town, it takes hours to travel to Mexico and Canada by car and even if you have the time, you might not have the money. Looking down on Americans for not being “well traveled,” is not only classist but incredibly ignorant about the USA and her geography. Americans do care about what happens in other countries and they are interested, it’s just that the world isn’t as easy to access for some as it is others. This is one of those times where people need to “check their privilege.”
You hurt her feelings by leaving and she wanted an apology for that. She hurt your feelings with that comment and you wanted an apology for that. That simple
No…? Sarah kept insulting OP and made her feel awful/stupid, then tried to gaslight OP into thinking that SHE had done something wrong in the scenario by removing herself from that atmosphere, as well as double down on considering OP to be stupid. I almost think you ARE Sarah if you thought this way 😂
But here’s the thing, OP wouldn’t have left if Sarah wasn’t a condescending jerk to her.
The whole situation is the fault of Sarah because if she didn’t decide to be condescending and rude to OP in the first place, OP wouldn’t have got up and left the table.
Plus, OP decision was the best decision in this situation. By leaving swiftly and wordlessly she avoided causing a scene and prevented Sarah, and extension OP’s husband, to belittle and mock her.
Honestly don’t know how any of this is OP’s fault.