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REALIZING THIS INFJ SHORTCOMING WILL FIX 90% OF YOUR PROBLEMS
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In other words, emotional investments warp our objective judging skills.
I think it's more than that. I think sharing air does it ... (or maybe, actually, sharing air is a emotional investment).
I kinda feel tangled in the meditation of it. Like the meditation of it is like a 'tar pit' ---- right now.
Oh dear... it's like watching a house of cards both fall, and never fall.
I seem to have taken my tangent into your thread.
Pardon me, please... have a nice day.
I think sharing air does it... and, also upon further thought, maybe sharing air is a emotional investment.
I came to this realization too. There’s a person in my group of friends; when I was in a close friendship with her, I felt her energy totally consume me so that I felt dissonant…there was something about the energy. She’s one of those people who others bend over backwards for, and I was doing that too until I started feeling something off. She’s not nice to me, but in a very subtle way that others miss. I had to pry myself out of that relationship so that now we’re just friends because our friends are friends, but we wouldn’t be otherwise. I’m sure she’s noticed a change, but I can’t go back to that. No one else seems to feel anything off about the energy dynamic with her though, so I guess it was just me? I would agonize over every off thing I noticed. It was really stressing me out.
I can find examples of people in my life, like that. It's not just us INFJ, but I think we seem to be the only ones that see these people for who they truly are.
@@lucky_i.ithats right. We can have pretty good antennas
Can 💯 relate, had someone introduce to someone they didn't know at all, but expected me to do the work in a relationship dynamic when they themselves didn't know them.
Very awkward behavior that looking back with better Vision I wouldn't even allow the gateway for that esp. because I had just met that person the same day. Looking at it, I should've asked how long they knew them before just going along because I met them from a Great Friend of mines.
I can forgive immaturity towards my intentions & efforts, but you assuming we've build a Bond that isn't truly established by any means isn't healthy for at least one party.
Thanks Wenzes! I was just listening to an Anita Moorjani video yesterday about empaths and relationships and she was making the exact same point you are making, she just came at it from a different angle. She was saying that when it came to manipulators and other people who are toxic to her, as an empath she would always see past the corrosive behaviors to the vulnerabilities and frailties of the person. Basically getting sympathetically caught up in their energy field, which is your point. So she would get lost in her empathy and not be able to protect herself. Which sounds exactly like what you are saying. And I gotta say when you get the same message from two very different sources in a 24 hour period, time to sit up and take notice (more than usual) cause the universe it sending an important message.
Don’t feel discouraged or castigate yourself when you’re not 100% successful at this, just note it, then return your focus to taking ACTION to live your epic INFJ life❣️
Thank you so much for this reminder!!
i feel like its a cage... suddenly... and the consolation is the reminder that there is a space between the bars.
some divine joke, really.
The Genie in the bottle. All the porous expanse of great distances of experiences - yet it comes at the expenses of being its servant.
Good thing, for a sense of humor. *sigh*
@@e.s.l.1083 yes, please ~ hold on to your ability to laugh at crap, it’s our toe in the door of Sanity❣️
In my (INFJ) encounter with a suspected covert narcissist, it took much longer than 3 weeks to recover myself after I went no-contact. It took about 13 years to fall into that very painful hole - I was like a frog in a pot of water on a stove.
That experience opened my eyes to the seriousness of my INFJ bias (i.e. interpreting situations according to other's truth rather than my own).
Detachment has become an important component of my growth. People, energy, outcomes. It’s all good feeling free to be myself
I can make "stone cold decisions". It just takes me literally 10-30 years longer than a non-INFJ would to make the same decision. :s
😅 Hahaha. Yeah, I feel ya!
I cutoff a few of my toxic friends just a few days ago and was really questioning my decision and this video came right in time to validate what I was going through. Thank you so much for this! And yes only in a few days I feel more energetic (they were seeking a lot of my energy and I was feeling drained) and I can also more rationally chose myself over them. Must do for INFJs!!
I felt this in my intuition, but I kept looping and getting distracted from the external distractions / actions of others. This has been extremely helpful, thank you. I'm trying to learn to follow my guidance and intution and believe my own way is also valid.
Gosh, you're so damn right about that! Now that you're saying it, I've felt that subconsciously in a number of cases and in retrospect I did realize I was so much better off without those people rocking my boat! Thank you for that insight ❤ I needed to hear from outside where the outside is a very highly advanced INFJ 🎉
I am 54 yo.Long time ago i realised that when I start to be in relations with other person I loose myself absolutnie.I start to live this other person life ..I starter to hate myself for this. Did not know about personalisty typem yet..finaly i spent my life alone to be myself a Little bit..but not quite..because i have been a single patent.To be infj it is good for being parent because we can give our life to our children.They feel that their life is very important for us. But all others relationships it is terrible..I hate myself for this .And I am still alone to feel myself.Sorry for my language..I am from Poland. 😊🎉
Your content topic and timing is always metaphysically from the aether 😂
This video of yours was a huge revelation for me! Thank you Wenzes! A huge meaningful insight I've been blind to for all 52 years of my life so far. I'm going to be working on this. Thank you so very much for sharing your gifts with us!❤
Got tired of feeling taken advantage of because I made them feel better, superior or shining by always stepping back, hiding my light and feeding them my energy after 5 decades. Now my “am I being a doormat?” detector stays on. Lost friends, acquaintances, reflexes, triggers, bad habits and bitterness. Still refining the the “from this instant you’re dead to me” message delivery, but I feel like it’s not only ok to be who I truly am, but that i am worth more to the world by standing up for myself than hiding behind someone who takes the credit and ego boosting.
Trying so hard to not "talk " to this person in my imagination! This is helpful bc this is a bad habit. I was taking a break and pulling back from the connection as you mentioned. It's been 3 days😅
Thank you for making this. I can definitely see this in my life.
I often have to work closely with XSFJ types, and if I’m not careful, I end up trying to do my job using an Si/Ne axis - which just makes me barely competent and exhausted.
But if do things my way, they often think I’m “doing it wrong”. And they get uncomfortable.
I’ve had to learn to just let them think that. If I keep plugging away, they eventually realize that I may do throngs in a strange way, but it does get done.
It’s so funny how I have found myself doing things that are mentioned in your videos. This one being something that I’ve done that has helped me tremendously. Thank you for sharing. ❤
I am an INXJ, so I have both.
Thank God! For your firm boundaries and hermit mode solution. Really appreciate you
Wow this is incredible Wenzes! This is absolutely what I was doing with one of my friends - I actually have cut them out because I was so obsessed.
It is such a healthier place to be. You are right even after 1 day everything had changed, all my thoughts calmed and it was so much easier to make decisions
Thank you so much ❤
jeeeeeeeeeez. this is so damn spot on. so glad i found you and this channel. you’ve helped more than years of therapy!
oh my yes, i have been going out and about by my self more so i can know that what i decide or item i choose is me and not someone else’s. thank you
Thank you Wenzes, I needed to hear this!!! It is scary how I often merge with people and lose myself... 🙈 Big hug! Nic
I'm so glad you talk about this. because I only notice this nowwwww. You are correct when you say "do not let them enter your sphere" because you will experience them and the situation so differently, when they are not in your sphere!! having them in us, really benefit them greatly because yes, we want the best for them!!!!
It appears as i make personal self discoveries, a video of yours pops up with confirmation. I'm aware of this. I know a lot logically about my circle but still act on emotional connection. Another reason I seek isolation and solitude. I do love people but I can lose myself
This is an awesome video. I had just made this decision a couple of days ago and it's already making a difference. This video is great confirmation!
Quando você está em um processo de transformação, precisa estar atento àqueles que parecem sugar a sua energia, atraindo você pro campo de manipulação deles. É uma sensação horrível. É necessária muita firmeza mental pra não ficar preso ou mesmo se libertar se já estiver. A consciência disso já causa uma mudança significativa em nós. Precisamos nos proteger.
I truly hope if this is an issue other INF
Handling interactions for me even with those I know quite personally on an intimate level hasn't harboured me from making decisions or making a statement towards them or a situation they are linked.
At least for me I value my strong empathy as a means to listen and understand. I'll be human with that person. I however don't make my empathetic abilities to be the driver in regards to my actual decision making only the passenger unless compassion is truly needed in the situation.
If one is finding themselves easily manipulated making their decision making skills are skewed by others to make these decisions from the other person and you can't make clear "self-biased" actions you're comfortable with then I absolutely agree with Wenzes suggestion of taking time to find space and find healthy distance from othes to find your own process.
When away from others whom you may have an unhealthy dynamic with if they are not around for significant time, if they no longer are subtly influencing you what are your decision making skills like now? Better yet what do you think of those individuals now without them around.
Are you still the same, do you still see them the same? Food for thought but this is your meal to digest alone.
Know Thyself has never been more true.
Wow that’s really good advice
What is your experience with overestimating the Introverted Thinking function as an INFJ?
After,I came out of hysterical loop...the same loop is helping to form a vision with steps with NiTi
Taking too long to act on decisions. Wanting them to be perfect vs implementing immediately.
Sometimes I’ll think I have a pretty good understanding of a situation, but when I back off from thinking about it for some time I’ll realize it was all just introverted intuition and I was putting together puzzle pieces that don’t exist. I hope that made sense lol.
@@braxtonmills1235 Me 2
Oof , so many
"Lazy thinking", overly generalising, shortcuts, misinterpreting, following faulty threads and concluding the wrong things, forgetting to implement things....
hey wenzes,
I request a video on the topic " hurry slowly" aka festina lente and how it fits into the framework of mbti for infj. it's a beautiful concept.
thank you. and may god bless you.
Yes, my girlfriend is playing the dying swan almost the whole day with heavy breathing, and crying in pain, without voluntary telling me what is the problem. So, yes, I have to cut myself off so I can at least stay healthy myself and be normal to take care of my life and of the dogs. Well, that's the problem when you get older and not every one has lived a healthy life. This is the second time I see my partner falling apart, and there is no way to stop it, I just keep a distance to avoid an escalation. And I have to do that also with most people visiting us, just let them talk and at some point they will go away. We live in crazy times when people ask what is going on in the world but don't want to bite the hand that feeds them. Although, they themselves are that hand.
Hi id like to support Wenzes. Is there any paypal or way to support the channel. Im Braxton a former client. Ive grown alot and used sections of the 5 pillar formula to boost my income.
I also am going to purchase above the radar again to reread it to remind myself of the value of the concepts.
Hi Braxton, I hope you are doing great!!! Here is the link if you would like to support the channel: www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=SEMFVWGJFTX7N&source=url
All the best, Wenzes
I am. :):):) I've been super focused on pillar one and it's helped me increase energy massively. And using that I've been able to easily work 60 hours and that has led to a huge boost in income. I know you are doing well and winning:):) see you at Bootcamp and ill be showing support.@@Wenzes
We do have lots of shortcomings.
Yes yes yes, thank you, well done, beautiful timing 💕
I'm going to respond in the negative ti this. Something you don't make a distinction to is an immature INFJ vs a mature INFJ and its often confusing. INFJ-T's might have these problems but as an INFJ-A I do not.
Your right. Thank you for the helpful advice!
I don’t care the connection..their is no one’s truth that out ranks mine, to me. Abusive or blatantly disrespectful situations are not ideal for life growth. Some of us can learn and grow from interactions , but most do not. I don’t play games with the people in my life and nowadays, and I expect the same from anyone that desires any closeness. There is a reason that I don’t interact with certain people. Not bad people, just not the the dynamics I want in my life. We are all free to choose how we spend our time and with whom. Don’t owe anybody friendship, to be considered “nice”. That silly stuff, if someone can’t provide honesty and a conversation when you both have time…it’s just games. No time for games when there are so many genuine people out in the world. It’s a shame, but you can only extend so far and to continue would have you acting foolish. I didn’t destroy it and can’t repair it, life goes on. People do shady things. I’m not perfect, but have no time to sift through b.s. in my relationships.
Thank you Wenzes❤ you’re a genius
Thank you, beloved :)
Thank you Wenzes!
I had to to X out many people in my life. And kove away cause i could no longer be surrounded by degenerates. So im about 10 out ifca 10 year relationship and she was great. Thaen i noticed shecwas so self upsorrbed and never too responsibility forcher words or actions. I am a Empath and have complete control of my emotional Well being. I observe. Dating at 45 in this world full of Garbafw human beings . I just care to muxh i feel everyones pain and enervy. Its gets tiring but i am who i am. Th rest if yall i dont give a damn
GOLD 😍
Can you please write an INFJ book!
Thanks!
Thank you for this topic! I want to take your class when I have the $$
Thanks.
Of course you need to take others in consideration when you make decisions.
Have you never ran jobs or people in work situations?
Or even want input when deciding, sonething easy, like where to go for lunch when going with others?
Its intersting but you know... do that mean lack of empathy? My question is -" Is empathy advantage or disanvantage? "
Wow, your right ✅
1st and fore most, decisions ARE based on what is BEST for others.
Kinda doomed - i know that's not the point of your video here... but, doomed 🚣🏼♀️ yes, kinda doomed -
Its not balance, but its the ONLY balance... & that balance, is only realized as a recluse.
• Well, knowledge is power. 🧗🏼♀️
• it is a short coming. it's a short coming because i didn't see that coming. (someday, i had had hope that someday 'a discovery' would lead to a work around).
No wonder INFJ find a fitting occupation, in the occupation of a priests, they are hard wired for it.
The delusion was thinking i was 'over it' - no not 'over it' just 'solitary'. Just solitary, so there was no experience of 'it'.
Fascinating.
Do u think it's possible for people to adapt to your existence and not the opposite?
I could just kiss you right now!!
Exactly what i very very desperately needed to hear ❤
Now to find a place i can crash at for 21 days 😂
You were in love weren't you..
Excuse me for real?,how is that
possible I have struggling
financially, how was that possible?
Thanks to Kate Elizabeth Becherer
I always appreciate God for his kindness upon my life
YES!!! That's exactly her name (Kate Elizabeth Becherer) so many people have recommended highly about her and am just starting with her 😊 from Brisbane Australia🇦🇺
I have heard a lot of wonderful things about Kate Elizabeth Becherer on the news but didn't believe it until now. I'm definitely trying her out
✝️ Wenzes, God Bless you sister.
So accurate, it stings a little. 🤍
Thanks!