I married my boyfriend of 12 years, our daugther was 3 years old... it was just a simple lunch in a small village, just 20 people, I was wearing blue and it didnt cost us much... it was a very nice day, I wouldnt have enjoyed a big thing, I am sure I wouldnt be relaxed: so many people, so much money, so much stress! I am from Spain and here it is quite common now to have simple weddings
Culty aspects about my wedding: 1. I wanted to do a casual outdoors potluck thing, but my (extremely financially responsible) parents were like, "Well we have to host an event that will be 'worth' all your relatives traveling here so please take this ridiculous sum of money from us so we can do it 'properly.'" (We tried to put some of it aside to save for a down payment but that was vetoed.) 2. How difficult it was for my mom to accept that I was going to wear a green dress, not a white one. 😂 It was like I was breaking a sacred wedding rule. Me: I'm thinking about this forest green dress! Mom: but you don't want to be TOO MUCH and how will we do the wedding color palette? Usually we base that on the bridesmaid dresses! Me: well I'm not having bridesmaids so we can base the colors off my dress? Mom: but what goes with GREEN?? Me: Burnt orange, cream, burgundy and all autumn colors, which will make sense for this autumn wedding? Mom: well, I just don't think you should wear GREEN. It was a truly magical day, but I ever get married again I'm NOT putting myself through that a second time. People can come to my fucking backyard and bring a side.
Literally making the invitations for my wedding listening to this. Our wedding and relationship in general is "non-traditional". I am so happy with our choices! Getting married was both of our decision, I didn't want an engagement ring and I'm wearing a navy and gold blazer dress. F--- traditions! Let's make our own!
I had a small wedding at the courthouse with only our closest family members. The judge let us perform the ceremony outside so my dog could join. I wore a beautiful green/black dress that I'd been saving for many years but never found the perfect occasion to use it. All of our extended family and friends said congrats, and a few of them felt the obligation to send gifts although we never asked for any. We currently wear cheap wedding bands, including silicone ones for when we play soccer. I was so happy that we did what we wanted without stress, pressure, or huge financial costs on ourselves and our friends and family. I wish more people could experience this feeling, but I also understand that society, and even some families, can place a lot of pressure on people to do things they don't want.
Fantastic episode, as usual :) My wife and I spent around £1,500 for the whole wedding, we paid for it all ourselves beforehand - we didn't want to start out the marriage in debt. I don't wear a wedding ring because I'm not really a jewellery person, though my wife does because she likes to wear jewellery. We had 20 guests (which was, believe it or not still a compromise as we actually just wanted it to be the two of us). It actually turned out to be the better decision as it was fantastic to share such a happy day with our loved ones. My parents didn't come - just the typical homophobic thing...and I'm not really close to them. But it wasn't an issue for me, as to me the wedding day is about the relationship with my wife and not about my parents. In fact, I thought it was funny because imagine if I refused to go to someone's wedding because they're straight. My wife and I walked each other down the aisle, as we figured it best represented the teamwork part of our relationship and that we support each other through everything. We were actually questioning whether or not to get married at all because we both used to think it was a little archaic, but, after 7 years together, we came to the conclusion that getting married would be a symbol of respect to the LGBTQIA+ community who, over many many years, fought so hard and long for same-sex weddings. That, and it's just lovely to be able to call my best friend and partner in crime my wife. However, it's important to remember that couples who don't choose to get married are just as valid. I'm friends with a straight couple who have been together for decades and they have no plans to get married. They're very inspirational and I'm so proud of them. Saying all this, I'm not saying our wedding was perfect, I'm just saying that you and your partner should be able to have the wedding you like...don't be scared to deviate from the "norm." Trust me, you won't regret it. I also don't judge people who want a big, expensive, Pinterest wedding (I've been to plenty of them in my time!). It is entirely up to the couple. As long as the relationship is valued more than the wedding day itself, then they're onto a winner! Life doesn't have to peak at your wedding day....the wedding day is just the start of what should hopefully be a loving, supportive partnership. Well...this turned into too much of a thesis. I'll let myself out.
Bc of all the craziness I've read on Reddit about weddings and the crazy people at weddings (exes, horrible in-laws and so on), I told my partner yesterday that I want a small ceremony. We don't have a lot of friends and family anyway so I'm glad that it won't be hundreds of people. And I don't like the stress that comes with it, so small wedding it is.
Being a Romanian, I felt quite inflicted by your comments. First of all, saying that Estern Europe and Central Asia are the same is like saying that USA is the same as Colombia, even if this is just a comparison about our "child kidnapping tendencies". Second of all, the research did not provide the accurate information on the tradition or the child marriage in Romania, which makes me consider how much research are you doing before these podcasts.
The people who are loudest about how much they hate weddings, from my own experience around said people, are usually the ones who want to get married the most :’)
lol i can totally see that but i had a literal panic attack yesterday over how much i didn't want to get married. it feels like a conveyor belt toward death. the conformity truly makes me want to barf!
@@AmandaMontell just do it *your* way! Fuck conformity, we need to start making our own/new traditions anyway, it’s about time! Also I am one of the people I mentioned in my comment LOL Complains constantly about wedding culture but I’d also really like to get hitched, I’m coming up on 30 & feeling the pressure from the family now 🙃🥲😂😂😂😂
@@Bubblemice-s2g You bring up a good point. I think most people feel pressured to get married. But is that the same thing as WANTING to get married? If you didn't have the pressure, is that something you would still desire? I think most people battle between that distinction.
I married my boyfriend of 12 years, our daugther was 3 years old... it was just a simple lunch in a small village, just 20 people, I was wearing blue and it didnt cost us much... it was a very nice day, I wouldnt have enjoyed a big thing, I am sure I wouldnt be relaxed: so many people, so much money, so much stress! I am from Spain and here it is quite common now to have simple weddings
Culty aspects about my wedding:
1. I wanted to do a casual outdoors potluck thing, but my (extremely financially responsible) parents were like, "Well we have to host an event that will be 'worth' all your relatives traveling here so please take this ridiculous sum of money from us so we can do it 'properly.'" (We tried to put some of it aside to save for a down payment but that was vetoed.)
2. How difficult it was for my mom to accept that I was going to wear a green dress, not a white one. 😂 It was like I was breaking a sacred wedding rule.
Me: I'm thinking about this forest green dress!
Mom: but you don't want to be TOO MUCH and how will we do the wedding color palette? Usually we base that on the bridesmaid dresses!
Me: well I'm not having bridesmaids so we can base the colors off my dress?
Mom: but what goes with GREEN??
Me: Burnt orange, cream, burgundy and all autumn colors, which will make sense for this autumn wedding?
Mom: well, I just don't think you should wear GREEN.
It was a truly magical day, but I ever get married again I'm NOT putting myself through that a second time. People can come to my fucking backyard and bring a side.
Literally making the invitations for my wedding listening to this. Our wedding and relationship in general is "non-traditional". I am so happy with our choices! Getting married was both of our decision, I didn't want an engagement ring and I'm wearing a navy and gold blazer dress. F--- traditions! Let's make our own!
I had a small wedding at the courthouse with only our closest family members. The judge let us perform the ceremony outside so my dog could join. I wore a beautiful green/black dress that I'd been saving for many years but never found the perfect occasion to use it. All of our extended family and friends said congrats, and a few of them felt the obligation to send gifts although we never asked for any. We currently wear cheap wedding bands, including silicone ones for when we play soccer. I was so happy that we did what we wanted without stress, pressure, or huge financial costs on ourselves and our friends and family. I wish more people could experience this feeling, but I also understand that society, and even some families, can place a lot of pressure on people to do things they don't want.
Absolutely amazing episode! The three of you put words to the feelings I've had about weddings ever since I was a child 🥴💖
Fantastic episode, as usual :) My wife and I spent around £1,500 for the whole wedding, we paid for it all ourselves beforehand - we didn't want to start out the marriage in debt. I don't wear a wedding ring because I'm not really a jewellery person, though my wife does because she likes to wear jewellery. We had 20 guests (which was, believe it or not still a compromise as we actually just wanted it to be the two of us). It actually turned out to be the better decision as it was fantastic to share such a happy day with our loved ones. My parents didn't come - just the typical homophobic thing...and I'm not really close to them. But it wasn't an issue for me, as to me the wedding day is about the relationship with my wife and not about my parents. In fact, I thought it was funny because imagine if I refused to go to someone's wedding because they're straight. My wife and I walked each other down the aisle, as we figured it best represented the teamwork part of our relationship and that we support each other through everything.
We were actually questioning whether or not to get married at all because we both used to think it was a little archaic, but, after 7 years together, we came to the conclusion that getting married would be a symbol of respect to the LGBTQIA+ community who, over many many years, fought so hard and long for same-sex weddings. That, and it's just lovely to be able to call my best friend and partner in crime my wife. However, it's important to remember that couples who don't choose to get married are just as valid. I'm friends with a straight couple who have been together for decades and they have no plans to get married. They're very inspirational and I'm so proud of them.
Saying all this, I'm not saying our wedding was perfect, I'm just saying that you and your partner should be able to have the wedding you like...don't be scared to deviate from the "norm." Trust me, you won't regret it. I also don't judge people who want a big, expensive, Pinterest wedding (I've been to plenty of them in my time!). It is entirely up to the couple. As long as the relationship is valued more than the wedding day itself, then they're onto a winner! Life doesn't have to peak at your wedding day....the wedding day is just the start of what should hopefully be a loving, supportive partnership.
Well...this turned into too much of a thesis. I'll let myself out.
Bc of all the craziness I've read on Reddit about weddings and the crazy people at weddings (exes, horrible in-laws and so on), I told my partner yesterday that I want a small ceremony. We don't have a lot of friends and family anyway so I'm glad that it won't be hundreds of people. And I don't like the stress that comes with it, so small wedding it is.
MEN like shiney things too. My ex-wife proposed and got me a ring with diamonds because I want that too ya know
Being a Romanian, I felt quite inflicted by your comments. First of all, saying that Estern Europe and Central Asia are the same is like saying that USA is the same as Colombia, even if this is just a comparison about our "child kidnapping tendencies".
Second of all, the research did not provide the accurate information on the tradition or the child marriage in Romania, which makes me consider how much research are you doing before these podcasts.
Thank you for speaking up.
I agree
The people who are loudest about how much they hate weddings, from my own experience around said people, are usually the ones who want to get married the most :’)
lol i can totally see that but i had a literal panic attack yesterday over how much i didn't want to get married. it feels like a conveyor belt toward death. the conformity truly makes me want to barf!
@@AmandaMontell just do it *your* way! Fuck conformity, we need to start making our own/new traditions anyway, it’s about time!
Also I am one of the people I mentioned in my comment LOL
Complains constantly about wedding culture but I’d also really like to get hitched, I’m coming up on 30 & feeling the pressure from the family now 🙃🥲😂😂😂😂
@@Bubblemice-s2g You bring up a good point. I think most people feel pressured to get married. But is that the same thing as WANTING to get married? If you didn't have the pressure, is that something you would still desire? I think most people battle between that distinction.
One of you sounds like hoots!